People Stand Their Ground In These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories

"Me (15f) and my sister (16f) are only 11 months apart but we're different. She was always the more attractive one, the more outgoing and popular one.

She was always surrounded by friends and loved all things makeup and fashion. I'm more introverted and shy and I never really fit the way she did. Though I always wanted to have friends. I like video games baking and reading. I'm not into beauty stuff like she is. I don't ever wear makeup. So we've never had much in common.

I have tried to be close to my sister but it never worked out. We're just too different. And she resented my attempts for us to be closer. She'd let her friends say mean things about me like calling me a freak, a weirdo, saying I was lame and dumb.

Sometimes they'd be in our house and they'd kick me out of the basement, which is set up for games and movies and stuff like that. They'd tell me I couldn't hang out with them and they wanted to watch something. My parents would always tell me to find something else to do. And a few times her friends split up at our house and some were outside and some in the basement so I only had my room as a refuge. I told my parents about what the others would say about me and they didn't care. I think once they said they'd deal with it but it didn't stop. My parents just let them kick me out of spaces or tell me to stop doing what I was doing so they could do it and it was never a problem.

When I started high school I finally found a group of friends I fit in with.

There are five of us and we're all close. I even have a significant other now. But my sister hates that she's not welcome with them and the reason for that is before I was friends with them she and her friends were awful to them and she would mock them or make fun of them for their appearance or for being weird. So none of them like her. My significant other is the only one without that history because he moved to town right at the start of high school so never knew my sister before we got close. When my friends are over my sister will try to insert herself and she's tried to do that by making fun of me or pushing me out but my friends like me.

The problem is my parents are not okay with my sister being excluded and they said if I want to hang out with my friends, we have to be open to her hanging out if she wants. She has more free time now because her friendship group had this big fight and now there are so many splits and smaller groups and nobody has the time so she's around more and wants to be involved. I tried to stop inviting my friends over but if they even came to our neighborhood to hang out it was a rule my parents put in place.

Saturday I got so frustrated I told the three of them that I don't see why my sister always has to be included but I don't. I told them it was clear she was the favorite and everyone in the family thought I was just some freak who should be alone for the rest of her life.

My parents were furious. AITJ?"

Another User Comments:

"NTJ- Your parents are furious because you called them out for favoritism and they SHOULD be embarrassed. The best solution to your problem here is to pretend your sister does not exist. Invite your friends over. Let her say and do whatever she wants.

If she doesn’t exist, you can’t hear her insults. Get your friends in on it as well. Mean girls only have power when you match insults with insults. This option may get a negative reaction from your parents, so you should let them know ahead of time that you plan to cut your sister out of your life and no amount of punishment will make you change your mind. She no longer exists to you. She can start existing again when your parents deal with her mean-girl behavior." lostalldoubt86

Another User Comments:

"NTJ, Start calling your parents out in front of people. Talk to you, your uncles, and your grandparents on both sides. Let them know how your parents are enabling your sister to be a bully and their behavior.

Maybe the extended family can speak to your parents. But make a stink about it at home when your parents push for inclusion. As you are the quiet one, it's probably easier for them to push you around, you have to change that. Think of it as a learning experience in standing up for yourself and building self-esteem and self-worth. Don't be surprised if your sis makes a move on the significant other." ExplanationUsed2769

Another User Comments:

"NTJ She only wants in on your friend group so she can sabotage your relationships with them and make you go back to the previous dynamic of being the lonely one in the family.

I suggest you talk to an adult about what you're currently experiencing with your family, like a close aunt or uncle, maybe even a grandparent. If there are none of those, how about a non-minor cousin? I hope that you continue to have good friends who will stick by you and I hope your significant other continues to be good to you." PanicConsistent9656