People Stand Their Ground In These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories

"I (17M) have a diagnosed mental illness. Got my diagnosis formally at 12 and that was a rough year for me. My dad uprooted us 2 months after my formal diagnosis to live with his then-partner (now wife) and I left behind everyone else I knew and loved and during the move, some sentimental stuff got destroyed. The stuff was my moms and dad had put it in the wrong pile after I tagged it so it wasn't handled with the care it should have been. I was pretty much destroyed at that point. I already disliked that we were moving and then losing some of the stuff Mom loved the most. I was admittedly a mess and the next couple of years. It took forever to find a new therapist. My original psychiatrist here wasn't someone I clicked with either and it took like a year for a new one and almost 3 for me to find a therapist I could talk to. I admit I'm not that into Emily. I do hold resentment toward her and Dad for the move. She also rubs me the wrong way but I also admit I'm not exactly super open to liking her. She's made comments about it being good that we moved so I can learn how to miss people (which is insensitive but then she seems to remember that I'll forever miss someone). She has spoken like I agreed to the move (why did you move if you weren't going to try and enjoy it) and when I'd tell her I didn't agree she'd say dad made the decision and I should trust him enough to want this and give it my all. She has complained that I didn't let her family members fill the void of my missing family from here and she has seemed kinda sour that I'm closest to my mom's family above everyone. We also clash over me saying she's married to my dad/my dad's wife to people instead of saying my stepmom. I said stepmother once and she told me it sounded so detached and I told her that's how I feel. It drives my dad crazy and we discussed moving in with my grandparents back home but Dad changed his mind about it twice. He told me I'm his kid and he's not letting me go and he wants to repair our relationship. He asked me to forgive him for making decisions that I felt were the worst for me. He said he's trying to do right by us both. This is why he typically respects me when I don't want to include him in my therapy sessions. But my dad is anxious that I'm almost 18 and he wanted to have a meeting with my psychiatrist and therapist about me, but he wanted Emily included I said no, and I expressed this to both my therapist and my psychiatrist so they wouldn't talk with her in the room. Emily was so offended. My dad was hurt that I still wanted to shut her out and that I didn't trust his decision to partner. I told him she is not my parent and she does not get access to that stuff about me. I told him I couldn't stop him from telling her technically. But I will never give my consent for her to talk to them herself. They told me I needed to let her because she's one of my guardians and they need to be on the same page. Dad begged. AITJ?" Another User Comments: "NTJ, you are allowed to have boundaries, especially for your mental health.  That said, it may be helpful *to you* to have a controlled environment in which you can express these things to her in front of trained professionals who can mediate her behavioral or attitudinal changes.  However, you're almost 18 and a legal adult, so unless your diagnosis is such that you would still require guardianship beyond age 18, it probably isn't worth it. And even if you will need guardianship, you could petition for a court-appointed guardian." User Another User Comments: "NTJ - your Dad and his wife are though. "She's made comments about it being good that we moved so I can learn how to miss people (which is insensitive but then she seems to remember that I'll forever miss someone). She has spoken like I agreed to the move (why did you move if you weren't going to try and enjoy it) and when I'd tell her I didn't agree she'd say dad made the decision and I should trust him enough to want this and give it my all." You were forced to move, items that were from your mom were destroyed, and you moved away from everyone and everything you were familiar with and Dear Ol'Dad's wife expects you to be grateful for this? AND trying to force you to let her in sessions with your doctors??? Once you turn 18 move back to your mom's family with any sentimental items you still have and don't look back until you are ready to. Good luck OP." Comfortable-Sea-2454 Another User Comments: "NTJ. You keep going. You do what's best for you. Your dad messed up and he can kick rocks for that. It's not about him. It's not about her. They are both making it about her. They need to grow up and accept the consequences of their actions. You keep doing you." Connect_Guide_7546