People Have Feuds In These "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

"I (17 turning 18) am having a camping trip with my family for my birthday. The other day, my sister (21) and I were talking about it and she brought up that her partner (20) was coming. A little background: he and I do not get along. We aren't friends in any way, and we used to get into yelling matches for a while until I matured and stopped bickering with him, but we still don't get along. Now it's more of a case of small talk but nothing further than that. He has done petty crap, like make fun of the music I listen to. Nevertheless, he makes my sister happy, so I don't care as long as she's happy. However, she likes to include him in everything—like every family event, any movies we go see, decorating for the holidays, etc. She's just inviting him without asking others if they're okay with it. Now I told my sister that I don't want him coming because of the above-mentioned reasons and that I don't want to have to "walk on eggshells" for three days at my birthday event. On top of this, I will be coming out to my family (she knows about this), and it's really stressful for me because they're homophobic. She told me I'm being selfish and that he's a part of the family and I'm being a jerk for excluding him. I told her it's my camping trip and I have final say on who comes. She then threatened to bring him anyway and said that I can't stop it from happening. I said that I would leave the trip if she did that. She then said if he's not allowed, she's not coming. I told her not to come then. Am I the jerk?" Another User Comments: "NTJ - Your sister is for not seeing the middle ground that would be her telling her partner to back off of you. Like, leave her alone. If it means just not talking to her, then don't, but stop aggravating her because it creates this difficult family dynamic where she's going to insist that you aren't allowed to come to things or she won't participate. I would just point out to your sister that she is free not to come, but to be very clear that is her making the choice to choose a jerk partner over her family and no one else's. I would also offer to teach him some manners so that he isn't such a jerk at our family events, and maybe in the future this won't be a problem. To be sure, she won't take that well, but at least it gets said....." chuckinhoutex Another User Comments: "NTJ - It's your birthday, so you should get the final say on the guest list. It honestly sounds like your sister can't handle being without her partner for any amount of time if this is how she's acting. Stand your ground, and don't let her walk all over you." munchkin1977 Another User Comments: "NTJ. Normally I'd say it's an arguable, but somewhat expected courtesy to keep the peace for family events, but this is YOUR event and a major one too. Besides, he may be family to her, but obviously not to you at least for now. You're fully within your rights to do this." PermaThrwAway