People Beg Us To Help Them Squash Their “Am I The Jerk?” Dilemmas

"My brother “Ellis” recently got a job in my city, that required an immediate start. He didn’t have the time or resources to find a place on such notice and his partner “Taylor” just had a baby 7 months ago (so he didn’t want to leave her alone) so he asked if they could stay at my place for a couple of months to get situated. Ellis is a responsible guy who doesn’t take advantage of people so I felt okay saying yes. Ellis, Taylor, their 7-month-old baby, and Taylor’s daughter all moved in. Before they came I made it CLEAR that I would not tolerate them doing any sleep training or “cry it out” stuff with the baby. If the baby cries you need to make an immediate and reasonable effort to soothe him. The other rule was Taylor was responsible for any damage her daughter did in the house (you would think this would be obvious but we’ve had previous incidents). The final rule was, neither I nor my husband would be doing ANY childcare. I am a SAHM to my own daughter, as well as having a side business, and my husband works very hard, just because we are home, does not mean we are available to provide childcare. I thought it went without saying that they would be responsible for themselves in all other ways. They accepted all the conditions and moved in. It took two weeks to go into chaos. There were times I’d have to get up in the night to wake Taylor and Ellis to get the baby. Taylor’s daughter has also not adjusted well to the move and is constantly playing sick to avoid going to school. Then, because she’s not really sick, she spends the day causing havoc. Taylor has been bugging me to help her with the kids despite agreeing she wouldn’t. She’s also been expecting that she and her kids would be cooked and cleaned for. So it was two weeks until I was getting annoyed and a further two weeks of me being on the edge. What tipped it over was earlier this week, I was picking my daughter up early from school and going out, and Taylor asked me to take her daughter with me. She said she was drowning in things to do and the baby was fussing and she needed a break. I said no, Taylor swore at me and I just left. When we got back a few hours later, the first thing I hear is the baby crying. I go into the nursery…no Taylor. Her daughter is sitting on the couch watching TV and crying…no Taylor. My kitchen is a mess…no Taylor. I frantically search the whole house only to find Taylor locked in a closet. She said she couldn’t take it and needed a break. I called Ellis and told him to get his backside home. I sat them down and said they had to go. I said I would chip in for a hotel but I can’t do this anymore. Ellis thinks I’m being a jerk going back on the deal, but he and Taylor haven’t held up their end. I do feel bad because I don’t want to stress Ellis out with his new job but I am going crazy. I hate being in my own home." AITJ for putting my foot down? Another User Comments: "NTJ... They didn't hold their end of the deal. On the other hand, your SIL has no other people to rely on, I feel for her but this gives her not the right to dump everything on you. It would be your brother's responsibility, regardless of the new job. Just to clarify what does your husband say to this? Is he ok with the situation? Wish you luck." ChapterPresent4773 Another User Comments: "I'm so confused. Why didn't Taylor and her kids stay where they were, and Ellis stay with you Mon-Fri until he found a place for them to live? Sounds like Taylor is very much overwhelmed and struggling with little help from Ellis. Nurses say babies won't die if you put them down and leave them to cry while you take a moment to compose yourself. Which is what Taylor was doing in the closet. ESH." excel_pager_420 Another User Comments: "NTJ. They didn't follow the deal past the first 2 weeks, disrupting your family and your home. Taylor obviously needs help, but that's not your responsibility and you made it clear prior to them moving in. Don't feel a twinge of guilt. You are going above and beyond by chipping in for a hotel. They need to get an extended stay motel (he's employed), and get on the stick about looking for a place of their own." BefuddledPolydactyls