People Get Infuriated By These "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

"My (31F) partner (33M) began running last year. He started from scratch and has been incredibly tenacious. This year he completed his first marathon, and I was there cheering for him and waiting with snacks at the finish line. He's about to run a 40-mile (65km) ultramarathon that is a 3.5-hour drive away. He planned the trip with his buddy, who unfortunately got injured and can't go. This wasn’t unexpected since the friend had been hesitant for a while. The race is scheduled for this upcoming weekend. A few days ago, my partner casually asked if I wanted to join him. The race lasts over six hours, meaning I’d need to occupy myself during the wait. I declined, and he dropped the topic, although it came up in conversation a couple more times. Today he asked again. This time, he let me know how much it would mean to him if I were there—that he needs me there and my support. This, of course, makes me feel awful for declining, but here is the thing: He never showed interest in my presence before his friend canceled. Now, it seems more about having company due to his nervousness, and I was just the next option after his friend. It did make me feel slightly emotionally manipulated. The trip spans Friday to Sunday due to the early race start and late finish times. This will be my first weekend off in a while after a very busy few months, and I really would rather not dedicate the entirety of it to his race. I explained my feelings, and he said he understood, but he mentioned again how much he needs me there. And now, I feel horrible and fear that I will not enjoy my weekend off. I want to support him, but I feel that this is a lot to ask, especially since he did not ask me from the beginning. So: WIBTJ for not going with my partner to support him during his ultramarathon?" Another User Comments: "NTJ. Your partner is a jerk for trying to guilt you into going. And it seems he just wants someone there, not you, given that he only asked you after his first choice couldn't make it." pudah_et Another User Comments: "NTJ. You weren’t invited to support him until after his friend dipped. Also, running isn’t a spectator sport. Likely, you’ll be standing around, not in contact with him, for the majority of his race. It would be extremely generous of you to give up an entire weekend to support him running, but it’s not a requirement. You can be supportive even if you aren’t able to attend every event." Willing-Helicopter26 Another User Comments: "Based on your replies, NTJ. If he really needed you there, he would have invited you from the start. If he sticks with doing ultras, you will want to start acting in a support role because it’s a whole lifestyle. I don’t like the way he is guilt tripping you for saying no when he didn’t include you before. The two of you need to have a conversation about his support needs versus your need to make plans in advance. I imagine that the chores you had been putting off for this weekend would have been given different priorities if you had known he would need your support with more notice. If you decide to go, he needs to commit to helping you get those chores done, as well as proving it by making time to get some of it done in the next five days before you go. That is the support you need from him to be able to happily go and support him." Old-Mention9632