People Are Ready To Fight About Their “Am I The Jerk?” Stories

"Last week, my long-distance partner and their friend came to stay over for the weekend for an event. I have a couch and a twin-sized bed in my apartment, so the friend slept on the couch and my partner and I shared the bed.

Before that weekend (about 2 weeks ago), I was telling my parents about how I was having guests over on the phone (I don’t live with them), and they asked me how I was going to fit everyone since I have a studio apartment and they were worried that it would be too small.

I didn’t think this was much of a question because it’s pretty obvious how the room would be split unless I made someone sleep on the floor (which wouldn’t be necessary because we’re all small people, so there would be enough space). So, I told them that my partner and I would share the bed and our friend would stay on the couch and there weren’t any problems there and they were cool with it.

The issue now is that yesterday, my younger sister was on the phone with me and asked me what I did over the weekend.

She’s 10, so I expected some questions, as that’s normal for her (she calls me pretty often and every day she asks me if I did anything interesting that day). I told her that my partner and friend came over and she asked me where they slept. I replied with the same thing that I told my parents, which is that I shared the bed with my partner and our friend was on the couch.

I didn’t think this was an issue at all, but I mentioned to my partner afterwards that I told my little sister we shared a bed, and they were extremely put off by it, saying that it wasn’t her business to know and I shouldn’t have told her that because it’s not appropriate.

Am I crazy or is this not really a big deal? I’m thinking that logically, with the amount of space I have, asking where people slept is a valid question. And she’s 10 so I really don’t think she asked out of bad intentions.

Opinions?"

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. When my baby cousin was about that age, she was very curious about sleeping arrangements. I remember her asking “you only have one bed, but there are two people?” We had a brief conversation about it. It was innocent and in her experience (raised by a single mom), she didn’t realize bed-sharing was a thing." spagettiohnos

Another User Comments:

"NTJ talking to adults about what adults do is part of how children learn about the real world. Sleeping in the same bed is not an inappropriate amount of detail for a child of 10. Bonus points if you can slip in some consent-based info about how it’s ok because you’re the same age and both like to sleep in bed together (gives them a sense of the difference between age-appropriate consensual behaviour and bad situations that other people might put them in).

We really don’t do children any favours when we’re vague or secretive about normal adult behaviours. Although it might be a good idea to ask your parents (and your partner - they're entitled to their privacy too) what they’d like you to say if she asks more explicit questions as she gets older and more curious so you can all be on the same page." Larkus_Says

Another User Comments:

"Here’s my take: I had a best friend Robin she came for the weekend with her latest partner Victor. At the time my youngest Sam was really into vampires and Victor was from Transylvania. Mind you, Sam was 6 at the time.

In the morning, Sam asked Robin where she slept. Robin said in your mom’s room with Victor. Sam said you must be very brave! Why? Sleeping with a vampire?! I had zero qualms about Sam knowing they were sleeping together." Cultural-Slice3925