People Request That We Look Into Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

"I (55M) have three children from my previous marriage. My third child (16F) is named Isabella but goes by Bella. I have been seeing Ashley (38F) casually for a year and despite us being careful, she became pregnant and at only 31 weeks gave birth to our daughter.

The birth experience was traumatic and Ashley does not want to and probably won’t be able to have another child.

Because she was so early, we never had a chance to discuss names but when I arrived at the hospital the baby was already named Isabella.

Ashley knew that I already have a daughter named Isabella but when I confronted her about it, she said she’s always loved that name and had her heart set on it. I suggested plenty of other names but she refused them all.

The baby’s middle name is Emilia so when I’ve been visiting her in the NICU, that’s what I’ve been calling her.

Ashley and I usually visit at different times so she wasn’t aware that I had been calling her Emilia, but today we went at the same time. She got upset when I called her Emilia and said it was not her name. My older children FaceTimed me to see the baby as they usually do and also called her Emilia and she became livid and started arguing with us. Everyone pointed out that it would be weird for me to have two children with the same first and last name, and that it was disrespectful to Bella. Bella said she would be fine if we called the baby Izzy but she’s not calling her sister Isabella or Bella. Ashley says we are all jerks and we are making a hard situation harder on her.

So AITJ?"

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. Ashley was aware that you had a daughter named Isabella who goes by a common form of that name. It's not like Bella goes by her middle name.

Even if she did, it would still be weird for you to have two children with the same first name. Also, I get that you and Ashley weren't in a serious relationship (or so it sounds in your story), but it sounds like you wanted to be involved in the child's life, so why wouldn't she consult you on names before settling on one? Most likely because she wanted to name the baby Isabella and didn't want to get challenged before she'd filed any paperwork." jemoss9

Another User Comments:

"This is hinky. Sane, reasonable people don't pull crap like this. I feel like Ashley has some kind of angle with this.

Idk if she's intentionally trying to drive wedges, or test your boundaries and loyalties, or what, but it's messed up. Get to court, get a custody agreement in place, and be cordial and polite, but I wouldn't stay with this woman. I'm just a stranger on a screen, but I wouldn't trust her around my other kids. Something ain't right here. NTJ, but you've got some stuff to figure out." SpaceyScribe