People Have Put A Lot Of Thought Into Their “Am I The Jerk?” Situations

"So, my (31F) in-laws (they’re both 68) phoned me this morning to ask if I’d like to have a visit with them today.

My husband is away for 2 months for work, and my parents and sister live across the country, so my in-laws have been really trying to spend a lot of time with me, I think. I’ve noticed my MIL calls me to chat and invites me out or comes over much more than usual now. A few times a month now. It’s appreciated.

So, I told them that I would like to see them, and invited them over for 3 pm. They like to see our dog and we have a nice patio for visiting on. They ended up staying until 8 pm.

I put out drinks a few times, and some crackers and cheese around 5. I didn’t have any supper prepared for a group (I just didn’t expect them to stay so long. I didn’t mind but I had no food ready, I’m in need of a grocery trip. I really only had snacks and microwave dinners).

Around 6, my in-laws asked if I wanted to go to the local diner for supper. They do not pick up the tab and I just didn’t want to spend money on a meal so I politely declined and offered to put more chips out.

They seemed a bit irritated but stayed anyway. So, around 8 they go home.

My husband told me tonight on our nightly call that his parents were really harshly complaining about me to him on the phone that I hosted them and didn’t feed them, and that I wouldn’t go out for supper.

I didn’t think it was a big deal. My husband said “you probably should have just gone for supper if you didn’t have anything at home”.

AITJ?"

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. They really should have taken the hint and left when mealtime came and there was no dinner plan.

They have no right to ask to visit, stay for 5 hours, and then complain about you. That said, the most polite thing to do in that situation was to acquire food. Either put together a meal with whatever snacks and staples were on hand, order takeout, or go out to eat." thatsointeresting

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. It was kinda weird for them to stay SO long. When they mentioned the diner, you could have said "Oh, I'm not looking to spend much money right now, but you two are welcome to go without me. Unfortunately, I'm behind on grocery shopping and don't have enough food here for the three of us (as I didn't know you'd be staying until dinner time).

If you'd like, I could order a pizza that we could share."" fallingintopolkadots

Another User Comments:

"You are NTJ. Point out to your husband that your in-laws invited themselves over. For a visit. NOT for a meal. And a reasonable length for a visit is 2-3 hours.

NOT 5 hours. Tell him if they were inviting themselves for a meal, they had an obligation to say that -- at which point you would have said that unfortunately, you weren't able to host them for dinner right now, but that you and their son would be happy to have them for dinner once he gets back home. And tell your husband because of the way his parents behaved toward you today, and the fact that he wasn't willing to correct them on their bad behavior, you won't be having them over for any more "visits" until he gets back home -- and when they do come over next for dinner, he will be the one cooking dinner and hosting them. Honestly, I think you should give him the link to this thread, so he can understand just how out-of-line his parents' behavior was here." cat-lover76