“So, I am doing fine in life financially but my sister is like on another level, way richer than me. She paid for her house x10 what I paid for mine, no exaggerating. She is very family-oriented and enjoys family reunions, even when they end badly or hurt people’s feelings. Both our parents passed away some years ago. So family reunions are the siblings getting together with their respective families.
1.5 years ago she announced that she wanted to do something special for her birthday: she gave me notice, basically, that she wanted to have a family reunion at a posh European location for at least a week (she and her family are exploring Europe for 6 weeks prior to the actual party). I told her I was going to try to go. I did not have the courage to tell her that for me it would be difficult, just financially speaking. Bringing my whole family (I have many kids) on this trip was going to cost me no less than 15k. Just airfare alone would be close to 10k. 15k is one year of tuition (my oldest is a Junior) and I have other money stuff to think about too. So, when a thing from work created a conflict, I was relieved to have an excuse to cancel.
She was super disappointed, particularly because she had made it very clear how important this trip was to her. If it had mattered to me, she said, I would have made the trip happen. So, I guess I am a jerk.
But, AITJ for not wanting to shell out 1 year’s worth of tuition $ in a one-week ‘special birthday celebration’ for my rich sister?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. I think this is a situation where your sister should have offered to pay for or subsidize your costs if she really wanted you to be there, or she should have given you way more notice to save up (1.5 years is too short). She makes significantly more money than you, and it’s for her birthday. Spending $15,000 for a birthday celebration is excessive for the average person, I would not be ok spending that much for anyone. I think your sister has lost sight of your financial situation and doesn’t realize it’s just not a realistic plan for most people.” Book_Ends44
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. She is allowed to be disappointed but she can’t expect everyone to have that much money for a trip to celebrate her. In my family, if someone wants to be celebrated and it requires flights etc, the person who wants everyone there would pay because that’s the only fair thing to do! She has the finances to pay for you all for her birthday. If it’s that meaningful to her, she pays. It would be financially reckless to spend that much when it’s a literal year’s tuition cost for one of your kids. Your family comes first. If you had unlimited funds or more money, of course, you’d go. Unfortunately, you don’t and that’s that. Take her out to dinner when she’s back and/or get her a present. You shouldn’t put family finances in danger for your sister’s birthday.” archetyping101
