I (30F) am known in my family for my patience and generosity. I’ve always gone out of my way to help others, and I take pride in being a good person. My husband (32M) and I have a beautiful relationship built on mutual respect and understanding.
My late mother left me a precious heirloom, a vintage necklace that has been in our family for generations. It’s not just valuable, but it holds immense sentimental value to me. I’ve always kept it safe and only wore it on special occasions, cherishing the memories it holds.
Enter my MIL (57F), who has a history of overstepping boundaries. Despite our differences, when she lost her apartment, my husband and I opened our home to her, asking for nothing in return but basic respect for our belongings.
One day, I came home to find my MIL hosting a tea party with her friends, and to my horror, one of her friends was wearing my mother’s necklace. When I confronted her, my MIL nonchalantly said she gave it away because she thought it was ‘just old jewelry’ and that her friend admired it.
I was heartbroken and felt utterly betrayed. My husband was equally appalled and supported my decision to ask her to leave. Now, the rest of the family is painting me as the villain, saying I’m overreacting and should forgive her because ‘family is family.’
So, AITA for not being able to forgive this breach of trust?
Another User Comments:
“NTA. **This part right here:** “Now, the rest of the family is painting me as the villain, saying I’m overreacting and should forgive her because “family is family.” **A…..no!** Actually, they don’t want to be one of the one(s) that might have to take her in, now that your husband has asked her to leave! Nobody wants to put up with her shyt and thus the REAL reason they are talking that sit in a circle and sing “Kum ba ya” Garb! A/K/A Forgiveness! Stand your ground! Get her out of your house!” JustMyAura
Another User Comments:
“NTA She gave away something that was not hers. Your home was opened to her on the condition that she respect your belongings. She broke that condition on many many levels, so you were right to ask her to leave. The rest of the family is only hearing her side of the story, in which of course, she is painting you as the villain. She’s still perfectly capable of learning boundaries, and that actions have consequences. If your family members are so concerned, then they should be hosting her. Quite apart from anything else, I would not expect a person to forgive another person for something that has happened unless a) that person appologises (genuinely) for the action AND b) takes action to rectify the issue as much as possible, if applicable (in this case, get the necklace back for you,if you don’t already have it back). If you “forgive” in any other situation, all you are really doing is condoning the action, and stating that your boundaries / conditions actually have no meaning. On a personal note, I am very sorry for the loss of your sentimental piece, and I hope you get it back” Independent_Rain4838
Another User Comments:
“NTA Even if it wasn’t a precious heirloom, you don’t give things away that aren’t yours to give. Also just so I’m clear, when you say you asked her to leave, do you mean you both asked MIL to move out? Or that the tea party was over? She’s an asshole either way, I’m just trying to understand why your family wouldn’t support your position. Like you’d be justified either way but girl… “family is family?” Tell them family wouldn’t disrespect you or the memory of your mother.” foxheartedboy
