“In or around 1978. I was a teenaged fast-food worker.
At this time. America was having a little diplomatic situation with Iran. Hostages were being held. And people were up in arms against Muslims in general.
Yep. Things never really change.
We had two brothers working there who had recently been hired. Raju and his younger brother Ravi. Now those of you who are a little more sophisticated. Might recognize that these are Indian names. Given to them by their Indian parents. Who were Hindus from India.
But of course.. They were brown.. And vaguely Middle Eastern-looking. Although one customer thought they were Mexican. Racist people usually aren’t overly intellectual.
One weekend night.. We are swamped. The grill is cranking out burgers at a breakneck pace. When they show up. 4 twenty-something jerks. They actually start yelling past the cashiers to the backline workers.
“Freaking, Iranians! Go back to your own country! We’re gonna be waiting for you when you get off. We’re gonna kick your butt!” Just a full couple of minutes of 4 idiots shouting the dumbest crap you’ve ever heard. At first, I was right in the center section. So I pointed at myself with a, “Who me?” looking all wide-eyed innocence. The brothers never said a word. They just kept working. They were too cool to have to deal with these idiots. The 4 jerks wouldn’t give it up. “Freaking Iranians… Blah blah blah.”
When their order came up… I made sure their very special burgers were segregated from everyone else’s. When the cashier started bagging their orders. I directed her to grab..these burgers, specifically. Which she did. I looked at the ring leader and said, “Enjoy your meal!” Very cheerfully..too cheerfully. Under my breath, I muttered, “I dare you.”
Right now. I’m betting that you’re asking, “What did you do to their food?”
Well, my friends. You really don’t want to know. When you have a group of angry off teenagers making your food.. Let’s just say.. We got creative. How much spit is too much? It’s a question for the ages. What’s the biggest booger you can hide under a pickle? Pretty big actually.
Again, this lesson is for all the Karens. And Chads. And Racists. And entitled idiots everywhere…
Be a full-time jerk. Treat everyone like the lowly scum they are.
Except the people who handle your food! Because sometimes revenge is a burger served piping hot.”
