Ytj. Not for telling your sister that he was dying and the inheritance - you should have done that and probably sooner. But you are tj for telling her this and then still refusing to allow her to do what she wants and interfering with something that's not really your business. Yes, he's a dying man -but death doesn't excuse someone from treating others badly. And from what you said he hasn't been great
I'd stay quiet for 2 mil, but that's me - it's not my choice what another person chooses to do in that situation! Sounds like you were more worried about upsetting the status quo for your own comfort and were worried about your share of the inheritance
Ntj. Your grandma is a venomous, racist, scum of the earth person. Nobody should treat a child that way, especially their own grandchild. She deserves to be shunned and she is delusional with her "family before friends statement" because she's never treated you like family!
And I'm glad that your sisters were good to you but it's totally understandable that there is some distance. Sad, but still understandable - especially if they never stood up for you or called your grandma out.
I'm so sorry you had to deal with this but it's definitely time to cut ties with her
So...if your wife decides that, since none of you want to move and support her in this incredible opportunity, she should quit her job and take something that pays less so she can have more time with her daughters (who seem to care so little about her) - how are you all going to react to that? You might have to get a job that requires you to be home less and there would be less money for you guys - you good with that? She given up so much for her career and yes, some of it is probably for her own wishes to work in this field, but some of it was also to support your family! And now that she has a chance to be home with her family more, she's finding out that you guys don't seem to care about her that much-except for her money of course.
And no kid, especially teenagers, WANTS to move. I get that it was good to discuss as a family but seems like you were banking on your daughters backing you up to gang up on your wife. Of course they don't want to leave, and of course they aren't as interested in spending more time with their mom, but that doesn't mean that it wouldn't be a good thing. They (and you) are not looking past yourselves.
And I say all this as someone who had to move a lot as a kid - I HATED it, I actually went to 11 schools when I was a child and I know that it sucks. But....I also know that there was good things about it too. It made my family closer and helped my family a lot financially and gave me the chance to travel and see some incredible things. I look back on my relatives who never left the area and they're a bunch of small minded, racist busy bodies!
It's a one time move and sounds like a great opportunity for your whole family, not just your wife.
Ytj for not seeming to even want to consider any of that because you're to caught up in your own desires. And for seeming to exclude your wife from the family - sounds like you make it as you and your daughters against your wife
I don't think you're the jerk for dating your friends ex. Sometimes things happen and you two might just be a better fit - it's not like he treated her bad as it sounds.
But it all seems a bit iffy and i wonder how one sided/truthful this s when you look at how every statement you make is about what a horrible person your friend was. You're either trying to make yourself feel better. Or you're just twofaced and a bad friend who sits there nonstop badmouthing your "friend".