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Maybe instead of having "off limits" foods, try to foster communication around the food? It might be easier to get him to write "Peanut butter" on a shopping list when the jar is half empty than it is to just forbid him from eating the peanut butter.
She might have insurance and it's still 5k out of pocket for her. The nearest hospital might have been out-of-network, which insurance doesn't cover as much as in-network, or she could be on a High Deductible Health Plan (HDHP) at which point you need to pay out of pocket a certain threshold before insurance does anything, and then it might not even fully cover the ER trip. Like, my insurance has a $2,100 deductible and after that will only cover 75% of ER costs. Which is dumb. The American health care system is fucked if you're not rich.
I feel I should mention he's now an ex-stepfather.
NTJ. 100% NTJ. Please don't go back on your boundaries. I wish I hadn't. I told my stepfather several times I was too old to be play-wrestling with him or getting tickled by him or any of that stuff. And every time he'd tell my mom he felt like he had nothing to do with me anymore since he couldn't do those things. And every time i'd tell her fine, he can mess with me again. And then when I was 21 he touched me inappropriately. And I'm still dealing with the trauma from that betrayal. And it's been 10 years.
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