Brian007
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YTJ... what fairytale land do you come from? Sure, it would have been nice if he had offered, but where do you get off expecting him to make more? He already had dinner waiting for you... Pause, maybe it was rude that he ate without you, but that's a totally different issue that you didn't address, so we're not going there yet, even if that's why you were expecting him to make more. You said he already ate, but didn't address if you were upset by that, so I'll assume that's normal behavior for him to eat without you, thereby making the gesture of making your dinner something you should be thanking him for. Why should he repeat his kind gesture if your going to treat him like that? Now, again, he made YOU dinner, if you don't eat dinner together, then why is he making you dinner at all? Eating dinner together is what couples do, I feel like there's a bigger issue at hand as you sound more like friends with benefits if you're not eating dinner together. I say this because you said he was making dinner, then you spilled your dinner, but it wasn't cleaned up until after he was fed? Maybe I'm just not understanding why you just let time pass without saying anything, at all, about anything, there was no conversation for 15 min. Did you just sit there like a fool watching him eating expecting him to read your thoughts? Why didn't you split his plate if you were so freaking hungry? Why was he fed and you not when your plate was spilled? And lastly if I were that hungry I wouldn't be waiting on anyone to make me food, so if I were him I'd assume that you weren't even hungry if you weren't even mentioning that you wanted food for a full 15 minutes after spilling your plate. He did NOTHING WRONG, go apologize and stock up on some snacks, you don't think clearly when you're hangry.
Totally NTJ. HOWEVER, you can't allow yourself to be so upset by this. It sounds like you're just going to have to 'get used to' the 'tit for tat' because she's not 'in the wrong' in her mind and never will be. Keep saving up and looking forward to moving out. You have every right to be upset and set boundaries, but you honestly can't expect her to accept those boundaries in her home... it's just the way it is. Sorry about the situation you're in, but you're asking to much to expect her to follow your rules in her place. You have to take care not to let it fester... get mad, but get over it, too. Holding a grudge is just toxic for YOU, it does NOTHING to your mom to stay mad, she's just flexing her power and probably doesn't think twice before doing it again. This is why, even though your 100% in the right, you just have to let it go, for your own mental health.
This one falls in middle ground if you ask me... you're NTJ for telling them they can't use the spare room, but I think you need to try the inflatable mattress idea out first before you say they can't stay... you may find your parents more useful helping with a newborn then your currently anticipating, after all they do have experience with caring for a newborn. This story needs more context, do they leave a mess when they visit (in the past)? You say there's no room, but they literally just need space for the mattress 6-8 hours... heck they might decide after trying to sleep on the living room floor and have to set up and move everything they'd rather stay at a hotel or drive home. I think that you need to give them the opportunity to fail to prove your point, or maybe discover it's worth their hassle. It's important to make sure they understand that you don't have the ability to accommodate, but they're welcome to give it a try as long as they're going out of YOUR way to accommodate themselves to your new living situation.
Seriously? Is this a real issue? Totally NTJ. It would be one thing if you were outside BBQing, but in your own home, forget it, they're asking WAY to much of you. I can't even believe that they would ask... there are laws regarding noise, but I don't think there's a law anywhere regarding smells... it's not like you're building a composer next to them with noxious smells and actual dangerous gasses being emited into the air... forget them.
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