No question about it, the dad should have taken the baby and ran out as soon as the child made the first peep. You, the mother, should have planked your butt in that seat and watched your daughter. Did you have nothing to console your daughter? No bottle or snack? I have 4 kids. I've taken the little ones to all their siblings plays. Unless a baby is sick, there are always ways to quiet them if you are prepared enough. If the baby is not easy to console when they awaken, you should have known that and got a sitter. YTJ
You have to do dishes and laundry. Boo hoo. You didn't mention floors or toilets. It seems your parents are just making you contribute by cleaning up after yourself. As for cat boxes, who wanted the cat? Often, children want pets, but its the parents who end up doing all the work. Ytj. There's more the life than activities. Drop one or two and help around the house. As for your sister, stj too. Tell her she needs to pull her weight as well.
People need to stop policing how and what other people talk about. Your wife's experience with childbirth doesn't need to be diminished because of someone else's issues. Infertility sucks, but you can't expect the world to tiptoe around you. Not the jerk. BIL needs to realize the world isn't going to censor itself to save his feelings.