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We all have emotional problems. Thats not her biggest problem. She feels entitled and doesnt appreciate money nor the cost of living. So many kids out there that would passionately appreciate the money she has been handed. Its time for some lesson in life to be learned. She needs to go to work full time in a hot sweaty factory for a year...save her money and then readdress the issue of helping with college costs. She will never appreciate the cost on an education and everything indicates she would squander that opportunity too. She needs a year of hard work supporting herself in order to appreciate opportunity and the luxury of being able to go to college.....a community college.
Get your things paid for. After that you may consider doing something once a month - like paying the electric bill or help cover a siblings needs or buy some groceries. Your mother needs to seriously consider changing things...perhaps moving to more affordable housing or something. Putting you in a situation of supporting the family will hurt what you can do for your future. I worked in a packing shed at 15 from 40 to 60 hours a week and never seen a dime....my mom and stepfather took it all for the family. From the time I was 12...I did odd jobs...cleaning, babysitting, ice cream shop, McDonalds....and I was always taking care of my siblings - bringing food home or whatever they needed. It definitely altered my future as I had nothing to start my adult life. Your mom needs to make changes so she is able to support the family without making her kids into slave labor. Perhaps she needs file bankruptcy and start over. Whatever the problem is - she needs to solve it.
Therapy will help. You may discover that your mixed up feelings have more to do with the process of losing your Dad and subconsciously feel like you are betraying him by accepting this part of your family.....and they are your family, Those babies are your siblings....you need to embrace them and enjoy them. Your mom and stepdad are going to great effort to make you feel a part of the whole family. Spend some one on one time with each of them. Take baby steps.
This is awlful. SIL knew exactly what she was doing and stole from you. Its vicious and malicious. Im in shock. Cut them both out of your life. No apology will be sincere because its not a misunderstanding.....its a robbery, a theft and a crime. Greed and money was their motivation. They are cold and callous and fake if they express surprise at your pain. Neither of them care about you in the least....not even your niece. Money will not rectify this.....but it will punish them. They both need to pay up. And make it clear that the SIL has put the split in the family...not you.
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