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I'm not going to lie, I would probably be hurt if my partner chose a pet over a party to celebrate a long hard worked accomplishment. But. That's on me, and my tendency to be a little more sensitive. And while I may be a little hurt, I would never hold it against my partner, because I would have chosen the vet too. And I probably would have told my partner to go, because to me it's not just a pet they are family. We may only have them for a short time, but they give us all of their time. I would bet the majority of the people at the party would have understood the vet trip if he shared why you were not there.
And this is how you ensure your child moves out the second they turn 18 or go to college as far away as possible. Either way, you'll be lucky if she talks to you at all once she is an adult.
NTJ. My adoptive parents wanted family therapy with a therapist I despised, all because they all wanted me to adopt the party line that I had "adoptive issues." I didn't, I'm freaking autistic. But guess who I cut out of my life at 18? The parents that tried to force me into therapy with a therapist I absolutely hated. I was willing to change therapist and then go, but mother liked this one because it was her therapist. At 43, I still have as little contact as possible. Ill never forgetthat feeling of complete dismissal.
Former pro dancer here, and teacher of jazz, tap, pointe, hip hop, and ballet. I would have banned your wife from the dance studio already. Pre-K and kindergarten classes are strictly a general intro, but most of all supposed to be fun! No pressure, no parents demands, just basics like pointing toes, and plies. The focus is on fun, moving, and certainly not technique. If your wife pulled that crap inmy studio, she would have been permanently banned the second time she did it. Your daughter would still be welcome, just not mom. She is essentially abusing her due to her own competitiveness, and that environment is absurdly toxic. Your daughter is going to have a jerk of a time growing up with her. She's going to keep being "that mom," and your daughter will end up without any friends when other parents continually decline play dates due to mom. Please take your daughter and file for divorce, this behavior will only escalate.
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