GammaG
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The twins need a safe place to live, asap. Perhaps child welfare should be involved in helping the younger one to live elsewhere. She is emotionally abusing them.
If child welfare gets involved then they take the younger one, the aunt AND your uncle will be charged with abuse, her-because she's doing it, him- because he is allowing it and encouraging her to do it by not removing her from his household.
Help, now, the twins to get out. Then get the other kiddo out asap.
I wonder if you can legally have her sign a contract that jewelry was left in a will, to you, therefore it is 100% yours. You will legally loan it to her.
She is not allowed to alter it, repair it, sell it, break it, etc... or you will make bring charges against her for theft or destruction of heirloom private property.
If dad is alive, talk to him. Does he plan on leaving brother items that will be his own heirlooms?
I think sil to be is a whiny child who wants sparkly toys.
Also, put the jewelry in a safe deposit box. Do not give it to the kids, she'll talk them into giving it to her. Keep it safe.
I would talk to wife, tell her the ATM is closed. However. If she wants to send her money out of her income, after bills are fully paid and all marital finance ideals are done, then she is fully able to do that.
As long as thre money she gives to daughter does not come out of household finances or your pocket, she can get a job and give daughter her whole paycheck.
See, I think wife just wants to write daughter a check, but doesn't want to think about where it comes from.
I would put the money in an account she can't access, like an investment or something.
The fact that she likes this friend this much scares me. Is she crushing on her? Is this "friend" a manipulator? What the heck just happened? She chose to bring a friend on your date...
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