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YTJ. Your dad and brother are jerks for going behind his back to take it and even bigger jerks for not making any effort to pay it back. Your dad should have paid him first out of the insurance money, that would have probably at least helped to mend fences. But instead he decided that since he needed a truck for work he could just screw over family, because you're BIL could "afford" it??? That's not integrity and your BIL is 100% right in holding the grudge. You were lucky your sister was even attending in the first place and your BIL is a good man/husband for not trying to make her choose. You are absolutely oblivious and greedy to expect them to chip in after how your family has treated him in relation to finances. He was a good man to not sue and you coming at them for any sort of money is disgusting.
YTJ. My heart hurts for Taylor. He just found out what his life long "best friend" really thinks is him and it's cruel. It's fine to ask him to wear the tux, I'm sure he would have without an incident because, despite how little you think of him, he's likely very capable of recognizing when toning it down it appropriate, but instead of just asking you belittled him. Why on earth would you have said all that extra, unnecessary, gross, cruel stuff. "Man up"? Are you kidding me?
I hope you can eventually take a step back, realize how much of a lunatic you sound like, and make the appropriate apologies (if it isn't already too late). It was exhausting reading that, I can only imagine what your fiance, BIL, and other friends and family are dealing with. Not only is your wedding not the most important thing in everyone's lives, you are not the center of everyone's world. You are worried everyone is thinking and talking about you even when they are not, and your emotions are raging all over the place. I know you're stressed but you need to chill out and try to mentally remove yourself from the center of the universe.
Wow, are you for real? Yes, absolutely YTJ! And sadly it sounds like you've passed your entitlement and confusion about how the world works down to your daughter. A mistake that probably cost y'all $10k. What your friend offered was 20% more than he needed to. You're a whole mess.
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