Justobservant
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External sympathy: if you read closely, she said she told him early on that this is something she does. He said he'd never control her, meaning he KNOWS she does this kind of thing. It's not a surprise to him.
She's not a friend, she's a user. Please move, phase her out of your life, find new and better friends. People with an actual heart who care what you're going through, who want to listen to you and support you. Doesn't sound like her, does it? Go, and don't look back. Take care of you! Ntj.
Sounds like she learned of this "valuable heirloom" and wants to cash it in. Don't let her have it, she squandered away an entire family her whole life. She can continue to stay out, and not have the heirloom.
Don't back down on this! Go to your pilates class. Let him throw a fit, but don't back down.
This, though, isn't sustainable for you, if he's still living his life like he doesn't have a child. Resentment will grow, arguments will start (he's already whining about the ONE thing you want to do). I hope your relationship survives but I don't have much hope, with how selfish he is being with his time.
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