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Mathsmum

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AITJ For Snapping At My Husband For Questioning My Ability As A Mom And Wife?

11 months ago

NTJ. He's a selfish narcissist and doesn't love you. If he did, he wouldn't be worried about little things at this time, he'd be supporting you and helping more, recognising what you've done and then just doing the mopping or whatever himself. Ask yourself, how long have you been walking on eggshells and busting yourself to live up to his ridiculous standards? You probably didn't realise you were. That's how most domestic jerk starts, slowly and hard to identify. Don't kid yourself, this is emotional jerk and will only get worse. I know you're exhausted, but you need to document it and quietly plan to get away. Narcissists present well and people, even judges, won't believe it without evidence. You need to protect yourself and your child. If your husband has any custody, your child will be damaged and abused. I'm normally for equal contact, but this is not safe. Emotional jerk is insidious - there are no visible bruises or damage that people recognise, and abusers gaslight their victims into believing there is no jerk, it's the victim's fault for not doing the right thing. I've seen it before, and it has destroyed the kids relationships with their mums, as they believe the abuser and think mum is bad and can't maintain 'normal' standards. It also destroys the self esteem of the abused partner. Get out while you can. No amount of counselling or therapy will fix this. Save yourself and your child. I know it doesn't seem bad enough now. But if you stay, you'll regret it.

AITJ For Disregarding My Daughter's Grief?

1 year ago

YTJ. Better she takes time now tto grieve and heal, than fail and start doing badly in her studies, which could lead to her dropping them altogether. She's an adult and this is more significant to her than you realise. Support her with 1-2 semesters off, but on the condition she gets therapy to help her through it, and a job to help support herself. Being given the time she needs to grieve, knowing you love and support her, as well as working retail or hospitality or whatever job (likely less $ and more physical than what she might have after finishing her studies) will all help her to successfully return to and complete her studies. Otherwise you're a controlling jerk who cares more about himself and appearances than your daughter.

AITJ For Wanting To Get A Pet Spider Even Though My Husband Doesn't Want Me To?

1 year ago

YTJ. Any changes to your household is 2 yes or it's a no. Respect your partner. This maybe misdirected 'nesting'. Focus on prepping for the baby, and other house improvements- you won't have time when baby arrives.