Pcogale
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NTJ - perhaps your sister can just be an hour late once a week instead. Sure won't look good for her but she'll get the full benefit of senior privilege when she's old enough... why is she denying you that right? I'm guessing there'll be no expectation of her driving a younger sibling to school at all.
NTJ
Her daughter is enabling her behaviour rather than getting help for her mother. If she's truly concerned about her, then maybe she should move her in with her.
NTJ
There's more going on with your MIL. I wonder if she lost a child at some point that possibly no one either knows about or talks about. Or she's got some mental health issues that need addressing.
Has she always been like this? The best way to approach this with your husband is to say you are worried about her... what's he seen in the past and what's the best way to help her. You can't keep having her cry at the drop of a hat when she's with your child. Your child doesn't need to be her comfort toy and will start to resent their grandmother.
NTJ
Your brother crossed the line.
Ian sounds like an amazing stepfather who recognises the situation for what it is. Your mother keeps being reminded of her poor choice of partner she was with when you were conceived and I wonder if part of her words to you are due to that? Regardless she is wrong.
Your brother needs to grow up. I would suggest you learn to gray rock him in your communication with him. He says what he says to get a rise out of you and give him a reaction. Once you stop doing that and everyone really sees what a jerk he's being.. then he will get bored and hopefully realise it's not appropriate.
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