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ESH. My husband is (IMHO) obsessive about the dishes. My cats have their own, but he doesn't even want them in the dishwasher with people dishes. We've compromised that, if the cat dishes need to go in the dishwasher, I rinse them then put dish soap in them with water to soak before they go in the dishwasher. Or I run a cycle just for them. He can't help being grossed out, so that's how I handle it. If I ever need to use people dishes for them, I feed them when he's not around, then do a thorough rinse and either load them into the dishwasher or leave them looking clean in the sink. Since my personal dishes obsession is that nothing goes in the sink/dishwasher without a thorough rinsing (I lived for 4 years in a tropical climate with bugs), he accommodates me on that one. Compromise. It's a hugely important part of all relationships.
Your husband needs a wakeup call. It could be a day where you do nothing but play with your daughter (no clean laundry or dishes, no dinner on the table, toys not picked up, etc). It could be him giving you a Saturday spa day and he plays with his daughter, cares for your baby, does laundry, makes all meals, etc. The best thing for my marriage was when I got a job and my husband retired from the military. We both got a good look at our spouse's life, and it changed a lot for us. NTJ, but a walk in each other's shoes might help.
It's also possible that Kay is being forced to babysit Katherine and the only way she can attend is to bring the little one along.
Is the jeep yours or his? You're 18 - in the US you're a legal adult, so the title should be in your name. Of course, then the insurance, maintenance and repairs are your responsibility, too, but that's ownership. And if the title is in your name, he can't legally sell it.

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