Reyne
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When my son has his friend over I don't yell in front of them. Especially if I found something out or they're roughing housing too much, etc. If it's something that needs said right then I'll let him know 'hey that's not how we behave' and we got our separate ways. If it's something I feel needs more of a 'talk' after his friend goes home we sit down and talk it out. But yelling and embarrassing her like that wasn't right. I don't think it should be unpunished. She lied. But still. Maybe she should have just let her know 'you've got some serious explaining as soon as your friends leaves' and leave it at that. Then when they do leave let her know that because you let her have her night with friends you'll be adding an extra day to her punishment to make up for that. I know she hasn't earned a whole lot of respect because she lied but it was her first night having this get together. Kids respond better when you've explained your side and talked it out. They tend to be more understanding that they messed up and take their punishment better. But kicking her friends out and yelling in front of everyone will push her away and do more damage. That was super embarrassing and she's gonna have a hard time at school with them now. I don't agree with parents that are like that. Your daughter is almost an adult. Yeah she messed up but this was a learning opportunity to explain and handle it in a more productive way. Not 'I'm your parent, your a child, let me treat without respect and yell and since your a child you have to sit there and take it'. Instead teach her giving respect earns respect.
Your sister should have spoke up more about wanting to borrow your dress. It's not your fault you couldn't read her mind. And besides her wedding was in 5 months. She should have been more on top of locking down her dress details. Was she just gonna out of the blue mention something about using it the day of her wedding?
It's simple. You wouldn't give your 2 children a bowl of ice cream and make her 2 children watch them eat it right? I really hope not. It needs to be fair. If 2 of them get a room to themselves then they all should. Get that basement done. Make your wife wait on the office. It's not necessity right now. The kids are. And smashing them all together right off the bat might make them resent eachother. Get them their own rooms.
I've dealt with depression/self harm/all of it for a very long time. So I sympathize with you, I really do. But just because your struggling with your mental health doesn't mean the world stops. You need to be aware of things that you can't do or just try harder to put some effort into it because you can't keep letting people down that are counting on you. Its not fair to the people that are working hard that count on you. If you can't do a project then speak up. Your friend has every right to be mad and approach you about it. The world isn't gonna stop because your feeling bad. Get some help, and make friends with your depression. Don't let it win. learn everything you can about your limits and what your comfortable with and get some real help before you make anymore commitments. I hope you learn something with this.
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