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I understand your in a tight situation. But seems maybe your sister could've gone to that meeting alone. Or maybe had your daughter come to you. She knows she isn't getting any presents, so it's obviously not about that, therefore she is not being a brat. You should've gave her some time to calm down before pressing the issue. Seems to me, she has lost alot of people in a very short time. She is grieving and so are you. it honestly sounds like she just wants her mother around. You said yourself yall are very close and only have each other. She just needs her mom during this tough time and thought her birthday would be a good excuse for what she is having a hard time explaining
I'm 5'2, so on the shorter side. your definitely not the jerk here. They are. You got there early and put in the money, time, and energy. You earned that spot. I'm proud of you for not being guilted into moving. One thing that stuck out to me, is how your standing there, was not an issue until the concert started, they likely just wanted to be noticed by the star. Not to mention they were incredibly rude in they way they handled it.
I'm not say not the jerk, because that clearly wasn't your intent to be judgemental. You didn't know she had continued sharing a bed with her roommate, until she said as much, I can see why you felt a little awkward with that. Seems to me you were curious as to why this was, because it isn't something people tend to do. That said, maybe an apology and heartfelt conversation could do wonders here. Maybe she and her roommate didn't realize they had some anxiety or something and once they started bed sharing, they felt more relax and comfortable having someone close by. Or maybe she and her roommate have become involved, and for some reason they don't want to make that known as of yet. Reason I think this, is because, she seemed as though she kinda let that slip, and didn't mean to, and maybe tried to play it off, and realized that wasn't working, panicked and in fight or flight though might be easier to call you a jerk and flee. I would try and mend this. I really don't think you'd be a burden if you moved in with them, if they genuinely seem to not mind, and you wouldn't either, then maybe that would be a better option than living with your parents. It's not a big crack, try and fix it! Wish all 3 of you the best!
Honestly I think you are. If she'd ended the video call or been gone too long, you'd still been mad. She tried to compose herself, I don't know a single person who can stop crying and instantly turn off the sniffles and puffy eyes, you know, the tale tale signs they had been crying. Especially people like me, with very sensitive skin, it's obvious the moment a single tear leaves my eyes, and will be for about an hour, and I can't just stop sniffling afterwards. Often times no matter how hard I try to fight crying, my efforts are in vain and it happens anyway. I was in a very similar situation, living with my sister in law who got pregnant by accident, with her 3rd, right after I suffered my second loss, after trying for years. I was not angry or upset with her, I was very happy for her, it is possible to be happy and sad at the same time, and it usually results in crying, at least for me. Your friend tried to avoid talking about why she was crying, but your other friends kept pushing. You snapped at her before she could even offer a reason. In a very sensitive way, you knew she had been trying, and you choose to drop it on all 3 at the same time, knowing as much. To be honest, if you'd given her a minute, she probably would've tried to say they were happy tears for your exciting news, but you didn't give her a chance to explain and accused her of being self centered, in front of everyone else. Then you offered a most I'm sorry your shitty apology ever. Now your on the internet talking about "I can't believe the things you'd say to a pregnant woman" you asked for input and got mad when it wasn't to your liking and want to see your pregnancy card will save you there too. Your a terrible friend.
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