Are you being serious here, lady? You choose a name that has a built in "nickname", then get pissy when people use it? Really? REALLY??!! If you insist that this is the hill to die on, you are going to create problems that will end up driving the kid away. You really need to calm down. There are a lot worse things in this world than your kid being called "Mike". By the way....YTJ, in case you didn't know.
You are not the jerk, OP....Just a "thank you", huh? Yeah right! Makes one wonder what other "shopping" this PS has done for hubby....This is, on the face of it, creepy at best, and at worst, it may just may be a "payback" for previous "favors"...NTJ, and I would look further into this, go to the shop and ask the manager for a new PS, and rush him to a couples therapist to find out what could possibly be in his head to make him do something so stupid. If he refuses to go, lower the boom: Either he goes to therapy to figure this out, or your next call is to a divorce attorney. He knew what he did was wrong, otherwise he would not have deleted the text thread.
Soft YTJ...not for setting an agreed upon price for services rendered, but for "overreacting" when your friend refused payment. I am quite the reverse in situations like this. I do things for people just because I am a helpful type, but if people try to pay me for whatever, I let them insist twice, then take the money. I always tell them, "I will let you insist twice, then I'll take the payment and thank you for it." I am also just cynical enough to believe that this was a "bait and switch" tactic, engineered so that your "friend" would be able to come back later with "Remember when....?" when he needs money, a favor, whatever. The broken windows just cement that attitude with me, especially when the refusing payment tactic didn't work. I would have a licensed professional fix the windows, make a police report just to have a paper trail, then forget the incident and drop him as a friend. that way you are covered on all fronts, not beholden to him for anything, and have paper trail leverage when/if any further vandalism occurs.
NTJ...Cousin needed to be brought down a couple of pegs, especially on what the definition of what an "elopement" is...She also needed to be reminded that if she is truly eloping, she does not get the "privilege" of making a guest list, assigning bridesmaid duties, having a shower, etc., etc., etc. She just wants a full destination wedding, on short notice, and without the responsibilities of planning the thing. You sound like a very level-headed person, and your mother raised you right. Kudos for you AND her. Cousin needed a reality check, and you provided it. Def NTJ.