Reading this made me tear up a little at how accepting you were of your son coming out. Im sure that took a lot for him and you're such a great dad with how supportive you are, he'll ALWAYS remember that. Most definitely NTJ. Now about your wife…… I would think long and hard about that relationship cause shes 100% being a homophob.
NTJ. DO NOT give her your mothers ring!! Run from her as fast as possible. I too took some of my dads ashes and made a ring for my mom with it. I couldn't imagine someone asking to take that from either one of us no matter how much they meant to me.