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Ok, definitely NTJ. In the version I read, it stated that the daughter felt better "an hour later." There was no other explanation, so not certain the assumption of an hour after school started would be a curate. IF it is, then I'd have taken her to school, but STILL denied the dance. Hear me out; if daughter gets the idea that she can "not feel well" at the time she's supposed to be/go/do something that isn't her favorite thing to do, but then miraculously be healed at ANY point later in the day and proceed to do/be rewarded, then she'll grow up thinking this acceptable. How many employers accept a worker calling out, only to find posts on FB about how said worker had a fine time at the beach with her friends in the same day!? Are you going to be just fine and dandy, when daughter decides - the morning of, after you've spent THOUSANDS on it already - that she "isn't feeling well" the morning of her wedding...only to have her miraculously recover after YOU'VE done all the notifications that the wedding isn't happening that day!!?? YES, I'll grant the 2nd scenario is "extreme," but the fact remains that kids learn what they live. You can talk til you're purple about what's SUPPOSED to happen, but if you cave and let her do what she pleases as she pleases, THAT'S what she'll learn. I had a rule with my kids that if you're too sick to get on the bus - EVEN IF, you start feeling better later - then you're too sick to attend whatever extra-curricular event; hang out with friends after school, go out to eat/shopping/etc with parents etc. Harsh, but I can say, neither of my boys were EVER in any trouble - at school or otherwise - BOTH have wonderful work ethic and are phenomenal fathers/husbands.
Your own entitlement aside, you are still NTJ. The fact that you repeatedly spoke on how often you attend this restaurant (beyond the fact that it comes off as you being a jerk, flaunting your privilege) demonstrates that you are familiar with the "normal" atmosphere of the establishment. Of course, you expected this visit to be the same as previous ones have been. The parents have just as much right to attend this restaurant as you. The fact they chose (whether by necessity - last minute loss of childcare or by design) was insensitive of them; not for bringing the baby - my son was exposed to restaurants very early in life to acclimate him to different environs, but if he started fussing, if initial calming didn't work either his Dad or I would remove him from the restaurant - but in NOT removing the child - especially given the repeated tantrums. Your waiter, joking or not, is the one who was a jerk. No waiter worth his salt should ask that question! It could have been nothing more than your spouse was sitting under an A/C vent and was uncomfortable. In a "perfect" world, your response would have been simply that the reason was none of the writer's concern, could you simply change seats; but we don't live in a perfect world, so ZERO percent jerk award to you for being human; especially when you didnt use anything but "conversational" speech (may have been slightly louder, if the baby was in full cry, but that would be expected!) Dad was probably stressed but that doesn't absolve him from being the jerk in this situation!
I'm going with a unpopular opinion of ESH. First and foremost, a 19 yr old still living at home - while chronologically is seen as an "adult;" is ANYTHING BUT!! - from the standpoint that Katie was so worked up that all she could say was "Freddie," "Mommy (REALLY?? At 19?) and "Come home" during the phone call, establishs that Katie is still -maturity wise - still a little girl, thus why she reacted to an ongoing issue in such a childish way. I believe BOTH Mom & Freddie hold the majority of "jerkdom" in this situation. They BOTH were aware of the dynamic. The fact that it was continuing AND that the kids are often "on their own" for many hours at night, YET, DID NOTHING to put an end to an untenable situation makes them the jerks, IMHO!! Katie SHOULD have to apologize, BUT, ONLY for the poor decision of locking Mary outside! Yes, the scenarios of horrendous outcomes is unending, but the fact is, that EVERYONE got exceedingly lucky in this situation and should be reacting in a way commiserate with the actual outcome, not the terrifying possibilities! Freddie & Mom need to have a SERIOUS sit down WITH BOTH Mary and Katie to ensure that nothing like this ever happens again. Freddie ABSOLUTELY SHOULD apologize to Katie for his only partially warranted freak out! This WASN'T a prank, but neither was it a decision made by a mature adult, thus Freddie shouldn't have had the complete breakdown that he did! Seriously, after seeing Freddie's maturity level, is it any wonder that at 19, Katie is immature!!???
NTJ and this situation MUST be corrected IMMEDIATELY! You & Hubby need to get your own place - YESTERDAY! Then you HAVE TO have a very matter of fact convo with "Grandma." She is taking the side of what should be a "NON-ENTITY" in the family until Liam "puts a ring on it!" Instead, she's giving this demented SO more thought than her own grandchild!! This convo should include not only a fully outlined explanation as to why her opinions in this event are 1st W-R-O-N-G, but also how you & Hubby will NOT TOLERATE any future repeats. Explain to Grandma that she has 2 choices to make: #1 She can choose this Hill to die on and by doing so FOREVER loose any opportunity to be a further part of you, Hubby AND grandchildren lives, OR #2 She can accept that YOU & HUBBY are the parents and can/will be THE ONLY ONES making decisions concerning the grandchildren. She will be EXPECTED to do all within her power to follow those decisions - be it a "rule," restriction, disciplinary action, etc, and that FAILURE to do so will result in her loss of "Grandparent privileges!" (Length of time to be determined by you & hubby!) She has already proven herself "unreliable," and you will NOT place your child(ren) in situations that could compromise their well-being!! Had this "Laura" tried this crap with my child, she'd be in need of dental work or cosmetic repair!! Reprehensible!!!²
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