everquest
Metaspoon User
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YTJ - What I'm hearing is that you are so insecure about how you're aging that you're now asking your wife to fix it. Dude! As suggested by one of the posters already, you can clarify the situation during the introductions. "I'm so and so and this is my beautiful wife so and so. We just celebrated our 20 year anniversary. How long have you two been married?"
From now on, you and your sister should book yourselves a hotel or air bnb for just the two of you. It would probably cost the same amount but you would each have a bed and wouldn't have to worry about disruptions. You could also tell any additional family that wants to tag along (because they're like that) that you signed a contract which states the maximum occupancy is two. Take control!
NTJ ... however, there is a way to do some good, without being financially drained. As another commenter expressed, I am also concerned they do not want money for the children but for themselves. The way to determine their true motivations is easy. For the uncle who is concerned he cannot send his kids to college, gift each child with 4 years of college. For the uncle who has kids living in poverty, have $125 worth of food delivered every week (or however much you think is appropriate for your country and economy). If the gifts are scoffed at, you know their true motivations aren't what they told you. However, if the gifts are celebrated and appreciated ... perhaps you could consider giving more. Best of luck!
You are NTJ. Any chance you could get together with all 3 grandma's for lunch and explain your point of view? They all love you and only want what's best for you. They have the perspective of grandparents (and decades of experience dealing with human relationships) which your dad and second mom lack. Perhaps they can come up with a solution. They love you. Let them help.
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