kipa
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Soft YTJ. He is your partner. By all means request that he set up an auto pay to give you some nominal amount every month, and by all means get him to sign an agreement about when he will start seriously paying you back. But things like medical debts will be costing a heap in interest and it is just good sense to try and get rid of those debts as soon as possible. So unless you are in some financial difficulty, I think you are being a bit mean. Let's face it, even if you had all that money in the bank it wouldn't be making more than a few cents interest. What is more important to you? Him or the money? If the answer is not your partner, time to break up. If the answer is your partner, time to be a bit more flexible.
Ah, my heart aches for you. But do not let this jerk have the power over you to make you miss this incredibly important moment of your daughter's life.
Ntj but do consider that by her talking to you with her family while they jigsaw together, she is actually sending you a signal that you truly belong in her life - integrated as central to her life and her heart as her family. Not as an outside "guest" but as a genuine central part of her life. For her parents to hear and witness for themselves that you are the genuinely good and nice person that she loves. For them to get to know you, not just as an occasional blow in, but someone who has sat at their table, talked casually with them about the mundane things in life. Being long distance this is the only way they and you get to know each other for real. It is actually a pretty big honour your girlfriend has given you. By all means insist on some time alone, but do also appreciate the gift you are being given.
I am going to give a slightly wicked response. Take the money, donate it to a good charity that you know they would despise, and get the charity to send a thank you card to them. Ntj
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