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Light YTJ. You are holding grudges about things that happened years and years ago. Even after she apologises for them, you hold on to them. Your choice entirely not to go to the wedding. But you can't blame her for being upset about it - she thought she had apologised and you had moved on, but nope, you are still living in that past.
Ntj. They told you there was no chain. They lied.
If this person was a really close friend then yes, you would be the jerk. But as he isn't, you are not. Even if you had not applied he might not necessarily have gotten the job.
Ntj. Whilst I don't agree that your partner should have to run it past you if he wants to have a friend over, when it comes to them playing games IN THE BEDROOM WHICH YOU WOULD BE ASLEEP IN that's another kettle of fish.
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