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NTJ for all the reasons you said & everyone else said NTJ, and I'd like to just add a little side note about learning to drive itself: IF a person learns to drive, they should do it on their own time line. It sounds like you're supportive of your kid in their own timeline, and it wasn't heavy pressure to learn, just an option with a nice bonus (actual car!) You sound encouraging, without trying to force them. I was 42 when I finally got a car license (I was very scared to drive a car, even tho I rode a motorcycle since 1999! I got over my car fears with therapy, hooray for therapy!) My husband and I both share a car - so one car in a family is possible, and fine! We've got good public transit here & walking distance to places, but we're ready now if we ever move somewhere away from good transit & walkability. A flipside to my story is my brother: when my brother was 15, my dad bought him a car (a rusty old fixer upper, because when my dad was 15, he bought his own fixer upper, fixer'd it up, and had a very nice car (and already a motorcycle at that point, lol) - but my brother is the full opposite of that. Hated driving lessons, also terrified of driving (no clue why both children of car-loving parents feared driving so much!) and that poor rusty car sat at the end of our driveway for YEARS before dad finally gave up & sold it for scrap (and I don't think my brother got a cent from it!) (but I don't think he cared.) and - my brother never ever did get his license. He's in his 50's now. He's thinking of maaaaybe learning to drive now, and if he so chooses, the whole family will help (I am ready with my notes from my excellent therapy!) (and the parents would help him get a car!) So this story isn't aimed at the OP, but at any person with a non-driving family member, just to say, it can be okay. Non drivers can work out getting places. Cars can be shared (cost might be a factor!) (Cars can be done without entirely!) Learning can happen at any stage in life, for reasons, or without specific reasons. It's all good! *So long as the non-driver isn't making themselves a burden on the drivers!! arg! That might be an entirely different AITJ story!* Kudos OP, for being a supportive parent and having a good plan with good options for what to do with that car. Wishing your kid the best in their own driving choices & timeline!
Sorry that happened. No way the jerk. Clean the spot thoroughly as mentioned above, and do so for longer than you think you need to (bc more dogs will want to pee there!) also clean or replace your rug at the door. Any observant person can take the dog to a "safe" tree or other spot to pee before the dog actually gets a stream goin', even an old pupper. Letting a dog pee in a traffic area such as a private walkway or doorway, or on a person's private property such as a doorframe or furniture, is neglectful. Arguing instead of apologizing is idiotic.
ask them to join you at the gym! ^ oh, hmm... but I bet they like their tv show better than spending time with you...! ^ NTJ. real friends will respect and even encourage your personal interests, and understand if you are busy elsewhere.
I think tone-of-voice context might be important here, but not having that, I am going to say no one is a jerk in this scenario. The girlfriend should be fine to wear whatever she wants out in the world. But. The mom can set whatever rules she wants in her own house. And OP, you ARE a prude. Which is FINE! Own it! You can be a prude in your own house as much as you want. I hope you were polite in asking the girlfriend to wear a bra and cover her skin while visiting your home. She was a polite in agreeing, and maybe it's a little bit rude to talk about you behind your back later, but meh, you laid your rules down a bit late, and I am not sure how polite you actually were. And OP, stop saying "It's because children blah blah blah" - just say "I'm a prude, please do this while at my house, thank you." The children absolutely know about boobs. Stop pretending it will corrupt them somehow, it won't. Lastly, IF you don't want to be a prude... Stop looking at people's boobies. No jerks here; just remember to be polite & it's okay to be a prude & let folks know the house rules in a timely manner.
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