mach4
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You're an @$$hole. Not just a jerk. You know what you did. You weren't posting your life with her and sharing it. That's gaslighting. She was never unfaithful and was loyal without your prompting. She posted that she wasn't single, your insecurity will be the death of your relationship. Stop getting in your own way and get some therapy. You need to learn respect among other things.
Yeaaaahhhh every9ne hit this on the head. If she wants a stra8ned relationship with Charlotte, she can keep going. However you will be the only advocate for Charlotte, it might even drive a wedge between you and your wife aswell. My daughter is 3 and is very adamant that she dress herself. We let her to an extent, it needs to be weather and activity appropriate. Sometimes it's hard to swallow when she has shorts, a tutu, and her last year witch costume on going to a baby shower, but she's gaining confidence and independence. She's thinking for herself. That's something we want for our children, right?
First off, im sorry for your loss. Secondly, I think njh. Grief affects everyone differently. I understand and agree with you wholeheartedly. And while I don't understand where she's at and where she's coming from, I can't call her the jerk either, she lost the love of her life. My stepmom brought her first bf around and kind of shoved him in my dad's spot a little over a year since his passing. It hurt tremendously. All i could think of was her saying 'its only been a year.' We both hurt eachother because of it and through that conversation I got a bit more understanding of where she was and what she was experiencing and the same goes for her regarding my feelings. What I would suggest is a therapist for you each, and then a family therapist or counselor for sessions together. Your bond is very strong with her much like my stepmom, it's worth working through this period together.
Ntj. Pursue your dreams, she won't be living your life every day or paying y9ur bills or funding your future, you will.
As for your friend, she could probably benefit from therapy. Her situation sounds like shit, some might say she's privileged but I'm willing to bet they haven't been forced to engulf their entire identity into something all consuming in a time where you still dont really know yourself. She probably has postpartum depression,forced into marriage and stay at home mom now. It's not a walk in the park. Marriages are hard, being a full time mother is hard. You guys are extremely young, too. I can't imagine being a mom that early. I'm 34 and I lose my identity with my two kids. I'm still fumbling in my marriage and we have a strong foundation. She needs help.
But you, you go to school. Focus on your studies, give her some space then some encouragement. Nursing is not for the weak, good luck!!!!!
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