rabl
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I would be very angry about the locked door. That is not acceptable. You’re her mother, and the only people that have a say in how she is sleeping are you, and your partner. However, my sister in law has allowed all of her children to sleep in their room, no sleep training, and all breastfeed for up to 2 years. It makes sleepovers or watching them in event if an emergency impossible and it’s beyond frustrating. I don’t love the cry it out method, but if they are fed, changed, and clean. Then I would let them be and get them used to being on their own and self soothing asap. When you co sleep it makes it impossible for them to be comfortable in a space that’s their own.
I am now 37, but I completely understand being 14 is hard. I was very similar to this at that age. When I was 15, I chose to live with and take care of my dad who had a substance abuse problem. But like you’re considering living with your grandma had long term unforeseen consequences. I had a very rocky relationship with my mom for a few years because of this. She did not want that type of responsibility on me. I had to learn to take care of a house, learn to pay bills, grocery shop, all the while taking care of a parent that cannot function. You realize you cannot act like that and do a fraction of what needs to be done, and feel extremely remorseful about how you treated everyone going through more than you could even imagine at the time. Fast forward to being 37, my mother had terminal brain cancer and I’m doing all the care and spending the most time with her. It still haunts me how self centered and mean I was during all of the mood swings daily and I would give anything to take that back. Being that age is extremely difficult, and it’s hard to control yourself. Im not saying any of this to shame your behavior, just to tell you to be mindful of how you treat your mother, mood swings or not. Because some day, you will regret it more than you can imagine.

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