Metaspoon User


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Maybe read my comment again bud, I think you missed the end of my comment where I said "the social media stuff IS IN NO WAY ACCEPTABLE".
She spent 2 weekends in a row with her SO. How is that prioritizing him? She didn't abandon the kids, she didn't forget to pick them up at school, she didn't stop feeding them, she didn't refuse to continue paying for OPs therapy, she did not throw the kids out for a few hours, she didn't even GO OUT. The guy stayed over for 3-4 days in 2 weeks, in their house, where mom is still there if the kids (at least one of whom is old enough to type up and post a well written reddit post, so I'm assuming at LEAST 12, not a helpless infant who needs their mothers full attention 24/7/365). Mom has been a single mother for SIX YEARS. All y'all saying mom is a jerk have obviously never actually had a parent prioritize their own enjoyment over their kids. You've obviously never had to stay home and watch your 7 year old brother when you were only 8, for HOURS, so your parents could go drink and party. You've never had parents skip LITERALLY every school function so they could do drugs. Never had them bring home multiple random drunks and addicts nearly every night, missed school days in 2nd grade because mom was too hungover to wake up on time, been insulted by your mother because your dad died so you aren't handling school well while she's chatting up her ex boyfriend online and inviting him over mere months later. You've never had to turn down extracurriculars because your parents blew all the money on beer and cigarettes. I didn't even have a smartphone until I was 15 and it didn't even have any data, and we only had one family computer. Y'all are naive to think that a single mother having her new boyfriend over for a few hours or a couple days of the week is "prioritizing others over her kids". You cannot fill someone else's cup of yours is empty. She CANNOT be a good mom if she's unable to have any semblance of any sort of SELF.
The promise was for 3 evenings a week and 2 overnights per month. The guy has moved, so now the 3 evenings a week aren't possible. So now it should still just be 2 overnights per month? I get that OP is a child so I'm not gonna call them a jerk, but they are behaving childishly. They're obviously old enough to post a well worded and thorough description, so they should be old enough to be able to tend to themselves for a few hours out of the week so mom can have a life. She's been a single mother to multiple kids for 6 years, why is she not allowed to have any time romantically? That's just silly. OP needs FAMILY therapy including mom, and a therapist who will help OP to understand that they are not losing their mom, but mom is getting to explore her own life as her own person and while she shouldn't be dismissive of OPs feelings, OP should take into account mom's too.
The proper thing for both sides would have been suggesting *maybe* forgoing the big skiing trip this year and instead doing something smaller and close to home, to help the kiddos who've just lost their mom. Maybe a trip to the zoo or the beach or something similar that doesn't involve as much expense, and shortening it from a week to a few days or something. I bet Martin doesn't want any alone time right now anyways, that's ALL he gets once the kids are asleep or while at school and it hurts more now because he is truly alone, grieving his wife's death. A better suggestion for HIM would have been seeing if OP would babysit the niblings one night (unrelated to the trip) and martin and husband having a night to hang out. Let Martin talk, or not talk. because It doesn't sound like OP made any compromise suggestions, but really since the whole bringing the niblings along was the HUSBAND'S idea, he's the one that should have made other suggestions. And if OP still said no, it's not. He can stay behind and babysit his niblings if he wants. S
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