People Find Themselves In A Pickle In These "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

"I had this lovely plan to propose to my SO on the evening of March 20th at the Conservatory of Flowers in San Francisco. I really wanted to propose on the official first day of spring. New season full of life/a new chapter for our relationship and a potential baby on the way.

When I playfully asked her to clear that day of work, she surprised me by getting seriously upset. "That's a lot of pay I'd be missing out on," and "I can't cancel on my clients like that." I was upset and told her to forget about her clients for just one day.

It turned into a fight, and I had to sort of just tell her I was planning on proposing to her on that day. She cried and started to get mean to herself.

I told her it was okay, that there'll be plenty of days to pick from.

We made up, but I still feel bad for putting her through that, AND I'm still kind of salty that she couldn't just give us a day off together. It was an absolutely stunning day I had planned. Am I the jerk? Should I have just dropped it before it got into a fight? Pick another date and stop being so butt hurt about a plan not working out?"

Another User Comments:

"YTJ. You’re the one proposing. You have to plan AROUND her. Not get mad at her when she tells you she’ll be preoccupied. Yes maybe it was the perfect date.

Guess what? Any date will be perfect if you really love her because it’s the day you decide you want to be together forever. You’re immature for not just picking another day, revealing it was meant to be a proposal is such a guilt trip." Designer_Court2988

Another User Comments:

"YTJ. She had absolutely no way of knowing why you wanted her to take the day off. And honestly? A proposal is not enough of a reason to take a whole day off work (IMO). You should have planned around her schedule if you really wanted it to be a surprise on that specific day.

And honestly, how dare you leverage "I was going to propose!" as a way to get out of a fight, which you caused, and from her perspective, was you just being completely unreasonable about her job. That you're "still salty" she didn't just immediately obey you and take the day off is the crap icing on this jerk cake." Atarlie

Another User Comments:

"YTJ. And you're also manipulative and immature. You don't value your partner's work, you don't value her, and furthermore, you guilt her when clearly you were the one that messed up. What a lovely proposal indeed !!! You'd better apologize to her and mean it + try actually thinking through and planning ahead and adjusting to your partner's needs, you'll see it works wonders.

Quit fantasizing, grow up." Motor_Past8933