People Are Sure They Were Justified In These "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
42. AITJ For Wanting A Small Wedding?
“I (33m) have began wedding planning with my fiancé. We decided that we want a small, intimate ceremony with only close friends and family (less than 20 people was our goal). This is for two reasons, the first is that neither of us like big gatherings like weddings, and the second is that we’d rather invest the money in something for our life (ie, a new car or down payment on a house).
Some background on my family: My parents got divorced when I was three years old. My dad moved on very quickly, and three years after the divorce, he married my stepmom who brought her kids Hannah and Caleb into the family.
I consider Hannah and Caleb to be just as much family as my biological sister, and Caleb will be my best man. My mom, on the other hand, never moved on. She clung to my bio sister and I, and after we moved out, she just adopted pet after pet.
It was only six years ago that she started seeing someone again, and six months ago, she married her husband Chris. Chris has three adult children who I’ve met a handful of times. My mom has been building a relationship with Chris’s kids, my bio sister and I have not.
When it was time to plan the guest list, I decided not to invite my mom’s stepkids. I of course invited my mom, and my fiancé advised me to invite Chris as a courtesy. A few weeks after we sent out the invites, my mom contacted me to let me know that Chris’s kids’ invites had been “lost on the mail” because none of them had received their invitations.
I told her that Chris’s kids weren’t invited because it was for close friends and family only. My mom was confused because she knew that Hannah and Caleb were invited, my relationship with Chris’s kids is “the same type of relationship; your parent’s spouse’s kid”.
She called me “cold” for “being unfair” and “not treating all your stepsiblings the same.” I called her ridiculous because my relationship with Chris’s kids isn’t at all the same as my relationship with Hannah and Caleb.
She basically said your wedding your choice but I’m still mad at you and then hung up.
I honestly can’t wrap my head around her logic, but I love my mom and I don’t want to slight her. Is this a social faux pas that I didn’t know about, AITJ?”
41. AITJ For Not Liking My Stepmom?
“When I (17f) was 10, my mom got deported back to her home country. Due to this, my dad got full custody of me and broke up with my mom (they were never married). A year later, he met “A” and they ended up getting married.
Ever since I was young, “A” and I always had a strained relationship. I still had contact with my mom and regularly talked to her on the phone. “A” had tried becoming a parental figure to me, but I never saw her as anything other than my dad’s wife.
I think because of this, she started resenting my mom and tried having me cut contact with her multiple times, which never worked.
Yesterday, my aunt from my mom’s side invited me to go to her home country with her to see my mom.
I said yes and told my dad the news, which he was unsure about but ended up agreeing to letting me go with my aunt.
My dad’s wife, on the other hand, had begun a big argument with me.
She said I was “too young” to go and that I already had a “mom” at home. I yelled back at her and told her that I didn’t have a mom here because 1) she’s not my mom, and 2) my mom is in another country.
She ended up calling me an ungrateful jerk before leaving the house. My dad didn’t say anything about the situation and just told me to head to my room for the night. I woke up today and my dad left a note saying that he wouldn’t be back until tonight to go talk to his wife.
I feel kind of bad because she has been in my life for the past 5-6 years, and maybe I should have tried opening up to her. But I also think that she shouldn’t have pushed so hard to become someone she wasn’t. So AITJ?”
40. AITJ For Embarrassing A Girl At A Party?
“I (23F) was recently camping at a music festival for 5 days straight. I went with two friends, but they had other friends going so we met up with them and everybody camped together (about 15 people in total).
From the first night, I noticed that “Emma” (25F) had a habit of putting other girls in the group down, making negative comments about their appearances, and just generally being a vibe killer. She didn’t say anything to me the first 3 days, but I definitely saw it happen and noted it.
On the second to last night of camping, when everybody was back from the festival, she made fun of me in front of everyone for continuing to drink when we got back. Yes, it was like 3:30 in the morning, but I was completely coherent/not sloppy inebriated.
I was embarrassed and cried to my one girl friend who was there after she went to sleep. My one girl friend told some of her other friends I guess because the next day two of her friends (one of them being Emma’s roommate) came to me and said that Emma apparently does this a lot, they didn’t agree with what she said, and they hope that I didn’t think that they thought I was “trashy” (as Emma put it.) I decided not to say anything to Emma about it because I felt like it wasn’t worth the drama.
However, the afternoon the next day I got really sick (probably a combo of sleep deprivation, drinking for the 4 previous days, and being around 80 thousand people). I was sweating, running a fever, super pale, etc.
Again, in front of 10+ people, she says “OP do you feel like death? Because you look like it. I guess you couldn’t hang like you thought.” I am not the type to take nonsense from anybody, but I was so sick I didn’t even have the energy to respond.
I ignore it until the next morning. This is where I am probably the jerk. As everybody is packing up their canopies and tents, Emma gets back from getting food and I ask her if I can talk to her for a minute.
She said yeah and this point I kind of unloaded on her.
The synopsis of what I said: “Emma I know that you intentionally surround yourself with people who are willing to take your nonsense, but I am not one of those people.
Most of these people are cordial to you because they have to work with you and see you regularly. I never have to see you again. Your comments all weekend (from this point on is verbatim) have been rude, inappropriate, and disgusting.
This is stuff you learn in kindergarten: you do not put other people down to make yourself feel better it’s nasty, vile behavior. Grow up” then I hopped in the car and we left. AITJ? I feel like she deserved to hear that, but I do feel bad for doing essentially what she did to me (embarrassing her in front of everyone).”
39. AITJ For Making My Friend Feel Stupid?
“I, (21F) have recently taught myself how to crochet. I learned how within the last 6 months and since then I’ve been working on a blanket.
I don’t use perfect technique when crocheting, but I still get the same outcome and I get the stitches right.
Between being in med school and working as a nurse, crocheting has sort of been my way to relax and I find that not doing it perfectly is therapeutic, especially because the rest of my life requires much precision and effort.
My friend Sadie came to visit me as she had flown into my state for a Taylor Swift concert and was passing through. She came in at about 8pm after I had returned home from work, and I had sat down to continue working on my blanket.
She was also working on making those bead bracelets everyone has been wearing to the concerts so we were both doing our own thing but still enjoying company.
We talked for a while and then she pointed out the way I crochet, saying “your technique isn’t right.
No wonder you can’t finish your blanket! Let me show you how.”
It didn’t frustrate me at first but I did tell her that I was happy with my own method and my blanket was coming along slowly because I’m continuously busy, day in and day out.
She kept pressuring, even trying to take my blanket and hook out of my hands and doing it herself. That’s what frustrated me, because it unraveled the skein of yarn and created stress out of my one relaxing hobby.
I finally got irritated and told her that I would just put the blanket away and do it when she left. She got a little huffy and said “or just correct your technique. I’m trying to help.” To which I replied, “No.
Perfect technique really doesn’t matter in this case and like I said, I’m happy doing it this way. I’m not telling you how to make your bracelets so please leave my blanket alone.”
After that she pretty much stopped talking but eventually told me that I made her “feel a little stupid”. I just thought this was a silly hill to die on, so I apologized and then she left. Everything seems to be fine between us but still, it doesn’t sit right with me.
38. AITJ For Refusing To Babysit For My Mom's Friends?
“I (21f) live with my parents. My mom (56f) and my dad (56m) recently joined a Catholic community in their local church. They love it and go frequently. I was happy for them at first, but then my mom started to make it all she watched/talked about.
I can’t have a conversation with her without her mentioning religion. They even missed my cousin’s birthday to go to a church meeting that they go to every week.
I tutor children and I just applied for grad school.
I also do food delivery and I babysit for family, but I don’t get paid a cent for babysitting because I love kids and they’re my family. Anyways, my parents invited their church friends over for a bible study.
I came out of my room to get pizza. There was a 4 year old kid sleeping on the couch. The kid’s mom told me he’s the youngest of 9, and that she has friends with 11, 12 kids.
My mom immediately goes, “I want you to have 9 kids! It’s so much fun!” And everyone was smiling and laughing as if it were the complete normal amount of children to have (I do want kids in the future but I only want 2).
The woman followed, saying a woman’s purpose is to give birth, and then she asked me “Now why aren’t you On The Path? All my daughters are on The Path, even my 22 year old!”
I said “I really don’t want to.” Then her kid woke up, and my mom called me to trap me into taking care of him while they did their bible study.
I don’t know this kid at all. He was 4 and clearly had developmental delays because he couldn’t say a single word. I felt terrible for him but I wanted to play The Sims, I didn’t want to take care of a random kid for hours while they studied the bible and made remarks on why I don’t join them.
So as soon as I noticed the kid was distracted, I ran into my room and quickly struggled and fought against him to lock the door because he was fighting me to open it. When I locked it, he started banging super hard and apparently ended up peering through the door crack.
When they left, I found literal poop smeared on my door.
Both my mom and grandma were telling me I left the poor child alone and had to leave them taking care of him. Basically implying it was an AH move.
My mom also said it doesn’t kill me to be nice and artificial just to please them. That they do everything for me including provide the roof over my head so this was the least I could’ve done. AITJ?”
37. AITJ For Telling My Sister To Suck It Up?
“My sister [39F, Amy] is in the process of divorcing her wife. My husband [49M, Alexander] and I [48F] are letting her stay with us until she’s back on her feet and has a new place, as her work is closer to us than to our parents, brother, or sister.
She’s been with us for 12 days (though she’s staying with our parents tonight) and she’s been getting on my nerves the entire time.
Amy doesn’t exactly have the best track record with relationships, and this is her second divorce so far (she was with her wife for about 4 years total, married for 3 and a half or so).
She’s been taking time off work to recover, as she puts it, largely by either hanging out around our house, spending time with our parents and siblings, or spending time with her friends. I completely understand that this is a really upsetting, stressful time for her, but she simply isn’t respecting me or Xander the way that I feel that she should.
Sometimes this has come up in small ways (complaining that I didn’t get the right chips for her but not going to the store to get them herself, asking Alexander not to work on his puppet in our dining room because it “freaked her out”, etc.), sometimes in ways that are small but recurring (loudly sighing whenever she walks into a room and Xander and I are being affectionate, saying “you wouldn’t understand at all because you’ve never had a break up before” at the start of every conversation where I offer support, rolling her eyes whenever Xander gives me a compliment or vice versa, etc.), and sometimes in big ways.
Yesterday, we had a family dinner at our house. After dinner, we were spending time together, and Xander and I were being idly affectionate the way we always are. At one point, Xander gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, and Amy got very upset.
She told us to stop “throwing our relationship in her face” and that “you should know that it’s so rude to act like that when [Amy] got broken up with.”
This made me very upset – after all, I’m not exactly getting anything out of letting her stay with us for free for weeks until she gets back on her feet.
I told her that if she really couldn’t stomach seeing us like this that much and if she had to let it be known constantly, she could leave. She began to cry, then went to our den (where she’s staying) until our mom coaxed her out, then went home with them (though all of her things – minus a backpack’s worth – are still here).
I get that it might suck to see happy couples when you’re going through something like this, but surely that doesn’t mean Xander and I should have to pretend not to be as close and loving as we are in our own home. AITJ?”
36. AITJ For Talking About My Job?
“I’m a medical researcher and pathologist. Just for clarification: When most people hear that they immediately think forensics, but that’s not what I do. My job is overwhelmingly just looking at tissue samples from living patients under a microscope and diagnosing them based on that.
My partner (34M) works in the cultural sector and medicine is not at all his thing to put it mildly. He finds it boring and gross, so when I tell him about my day I usually skip any of the medical parts and instead just focus on the administrative side.
He does care and wants to know about my day, he just can’t handle hearing about organ parts and diseases, which I get. We have lots of other shared interests to talk about so normally it’s not an issue.
In the past we’ve had arguments about me not talking about work at dinner with guests either. People do ask and want those kinds of details generally, but for his sake I try to steer the conversation in a different direction.
This time however was different, because a friend of ours (35F) brought her date (30sM) who happens to also be a medical doctor, specifically a radiologist. He asked me many detailed questions about my research and my job, and to be honest, I was elated.
I tried moving away from the topic at the beginning, but I rarely get to really talk about my job, especially not with someone who shares my interests like this and can actually follow all the details.
At the end of the night we said our goodbyes and my partner immediately told me off for behaving so poorly. He also told me that our friend was clearly annoyed as well, as she couldn’t follow our conversation either and I was taking up her date.
(Honestly she didn’t make that impression on me, I feel like maybe he was just projecting, but I’m not sure.)
I apologized, but I also couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed at this. I get that he doesn’t really want me doing this, but it was literally one time and I feel like I shouldn’t always have to tip toe around what I do for work.
I feel like I should be able to just fully enjoy myself like this once in a while as well. It’s not like I’ve ever told him to not talk about his curatorial work. He says it’s different because that’s a shared interest.
I’m curious to hear what everyone else thinks. Was I the jerk?”
35. AITJ For Not Wanting To Go To My Sister-In-Laws Wedding?
“My wife’s sister (SIL) is getting married on a Saturday this summer. I have a shaky relationship with SIL, as she “jokes” about me during family events. Humor is one thing, but these tend to always be negative jokes about my character.
Because of this, I have always thought that she doesn’t like me. I was waiting for her to possibly ask me to play some role in the wedding, since my wife is maid of honor and our only son is ring bearer.
The couple did not ask me to play a role in any way. I asked what time I had to be at the wedding and I was told noon. I work a 12 hour shift on the wedding day so I decided to just take 6 hours off so I could be there around noon but I’ll still have to be up at 0400 the next day for work.
I found out from my wife that SIL and future BIL are extremely upset and have been intentionally ignoring me since they found out. They told my wife they expected me to take the entire day off (I work 12 hours every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday) because they think of me as a brother and assumed I would just want to be there for the rehearsal, dinner, morning of wedding, and wedding/reception.
Them not asking me to play a role, especially with my wife and our son having roles, confirmed for me that they don’t like me, so I felt no obligation to take the morning of the wedding off of which I have no part.
I work 12 hour shifts, and taking one day off really cuts into my available PTO so this played a factor in my decision as well.
I’m in no way upset for not having a role and my decision was in no way retaliatory.
It’s not my wedding so I don’t make the calls, so it doesn’t bother me. My wife defended me and told SIL how they have always made me feel in this conversation they had when all this came up, but neither SIL or future BIL have tried to talk to me. AITJ?”
34. AITJ For Getting Annoyed With My Husband?
“Like many people my (34f) husband(35m) likes to decompress with TikTok and Insta. I don’t mind, he can veg his brain however he likes. The problem comes in when we are in the same room together.
I really can’t stand hearing the constantly changing noises and voices. Especially when there is something already on TV. I’ve repeatedly asked him to use his earbuds when he’s scrolling, but he never keeps track of them and uses it as an excuse that he doesn’t have them.
Tonight we’ve gotten into two big arguments over it and I feel like at this point it’s stupid and just inconsiderate. I don’t want to have to hear whatever garbage he’s scrolling through. I even went and found a charged pair of EarPods for him because I’m so tired of asking him to turn off the volume, only to have him be rude about it and tell me he doesn’t have his EarPods.
Then all of that, to just two hours later, have him be rude about my pointing out that I even gave him some EarPods already. He basically told me he’d turn it off just to not have to deal with me.
Am I overreacting?”
33. AITJ For Not Supporting My Mom?
“My mom is 67. She has never really wanted to work in her life. She has always found men willing to support her. Her last marriage lasted 40 years during which she never worked. Now she is divorced because she had an online affair.
She is working as a cashier and ready to throw her hands up and give up on life, and she expects her kids (me and two brothers) to financially support her. Her thought process is that she birthed us and we should help her. I also brought two kids into this world and would never expect them to financially support me. AITJ?”
32. AITJ For Favouring One Of My Sisters?
“I (20F) have 4 sisters aged 18, 15, 10 and 4. Despite this I only get along with the 15 year old, in fact she’s like my best friend and she pulled me through a lot of rough patches in my life.
I have nothing against the others other than we just never bond. Despite being closest in age, me and the 18 year old particularly don’t get along, she acts like a child and is a Kpop stan (I have nothing against K-pop stans but she makes liking BTS her whole personality which is what I don’t like).
So my 18 year old sister has just turned 18, she was not short of being spoilt from my mum, I got her a card, some Asian sweets personalised drinking glass with her name in her favourite colour, my mum for some reason was not happy with me, saying that I put in no thought and that I could have at least taken her out.
I reminded her that I don’t have a lot of money and I wouldn’t get paid for another 2 weeks, also that there’s nothing to do in our city anyways, I also recalled the last time I took her out and we sat in a cafe in silence because she was not interested in anything I said, so realistically taking her out again would be a horrible experience for the both of us.
She didn’t really listen to what I had to say and guilt tripped me for ages, my sister also didn’t seem appreciative of the gifts either.
So fast forward to 2 weeks later, everything died down, I got my sick pay and would not be struggling for money this month, now for the issue, it’s my 15 year old sister’s birthday next week and I’m dead set on taking her out, when I told my mum of the plans, she was fuming, saying how dare I take her out when I didn’t take my other sister out, I said my decision is final, I’m taking her out because I already know she’s going to get the short end of the stick as always (my mum has favourites, me and my 15 year old sister are DEFINITELY not the favourite children and it really shows on birthdays/xmas) we end the conversation shortly as I was not going to stand there and listen to the insults she was giving me and we didn’t say another word to each other for the rest of the day.
Today I find out that she told my 18 year old sister that she can come with us to wherever I was taking my 15 year old sister for her birthday. I instantly said no and told my 18 year old sister that she will not be coming on my sister’s birthday because it’s her day and I will not let her take that away from her, she then told my mum and my mum is now further insulting me, saying I’m selfish, I’m cheap, that I shouldn’t pick favourites (hypocritical?), I’m a horrible sister and so on, she’s also trying to guilt trip my 15 year old sister into saying it’s fine my 18 year old sister comes with us on her birthday.
At this point I’m so bored of all of this, I had no shame in openly taking one out and not the other but now idk I think my mum’s hammering is getting me, am I really being unreasonable?”
31. AITJ For Skipping My Sister's Graduation?
“My sister(18), and I (26), have never really gotten along. She is the type of person who thinks she is better than everyone else. It really gets on my nerves. My parents had told me about my sister’s graduation a month in advance so that I can remain free that day to attend the graduation.
A few days later, I got a call for a job interview for a place I had applied at. They wanted to schedule an interview with me and coincidently the day they wanted me to come in happened to be the day of my sister’s graduation.
Since my sister and I don’t get along, I prioritized the interview over the graduation. My parents and sister are now mad at me because apparently I did not have my priorities straight. AITJ?”
30. AITJ For Not Supporting My Sisters Anymore?
“I have 3 younger sisters that currently all live at my place. Our parents passed away unexpectedly 4 years ago and ever since I have been helping/taking care of them. This is partly due to our age gap.
I am 32 (M) and they are 25, 22, and 20.
Our parents barely left an inheritance behind. The biggest thing was college funds for my two youngest sisters that weren’t in college at the time.
They had one for all four of us.
However, our relationships have started to go downhill very fast. Firstly, my first sister (25) Mia, has dropped out of college three years ago. She planned to go to vocational school but nothing ever came from it.
She instead met her partner Ava. It was decided that Ava would also live with us. I thought it was a strange decision, because Ava already had her own apartment and why would they want to live with me after they married?
Ava sold her apartment and moved in.
They wanted children, and looked into IUI. However, IUI didn’t work and they were recommended IVF which they couldn’t pay. I offered to pay for them, and IVF worked. Mia is currently carrying and is 3 months pregnant.
However, 4 months ago Ava lost her job. Since then she hasn’t even looked for a job. Since they are saving money for the baby, they are increasingly asking me to pay for everyday expenses.
I have a very good job and salary but not unlimited money.
Then there is my second sister (22) Sophia. She never went to college. She in particular had it very difficult after our parents’ death.
I tried my best to help her and talk with her (emotional support). She withdrew her money from the college fund and got a job at Target. Things didn’t go well. She spent all the college fund money and her salary and is now into ever-increasing debt.
I tried to help her but was rebuked. 2 months ago I found out she was involved in illegal activities and got angry at her, since she was hiding it at my place. Before the illegal activities, I helped her financially by paying off some debt, but it just kept growing.
Only my third sister Emma is helping to clean and is supportive. She is currently in college and doesn’t have a job, but I don’t mind. Sometimes the situation gets too messy for her and leaves the house for a little while (she is neurodivergent).
Three days ago I told Mia, Ava, and Sophia that I can’t financially support them anymore and that they need to find ways to support themselves. They can still live at my place, but need to become more independent and stop the fighting.
They called me a jerk for doing this.
29. AITJ For Taking My Dads Side?
“I (16f) live with my brother ‘Alex’ (17M) and my parents. Alex was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes almost a year ago and is now on insulin. We don’t live in America and hence don’t have access to dexcoms etc (which for those who don’t know help in the automation of the process of monitoring blood sugar and injecting the right amount of insulin accordingly.
So Alex uses syringes and little vials instead, guessing and regulating the amount of insulin needed manually)
In the simplest of words Alex understandably still isn’t used to the amounts and everything so he does over or underdose which is extremely bad for his body.
About 2 months ago something happened and he ended up in the ICU for a month because his blood sugar was so low he was about to lose his life. I was the one how found him passed out on the floor of his room, door locked.
Both my dad and I are the anxious type and if we worried about him before we are stressed now. Both of us have developed a habit of checking on him throughout the night once or twice just making sure he is breathing.
The thing is Alex has a habit of locking the door which stresses us out because he sleeps so deeply even banging on the door doesn’t work and if we want in we have to use the keys.
Dad and Alex had a fight yesterday because it was 12pm and we hadn’t heard from him since last night so dad went up to check on him but once again the door was locked and the keys were nowhere to be found.
We called him, banged the door, tried everything but he just wouldn’t open it. At this point I was almost in tears thinking the worst so dad broke the door down and we found Alex simply sleeping in bed.
When he woke up dad yelled at him and they had an argument which ended with dad removing the door from his room and him storming off. He is also very mad at me for taking dad’s side and yelling at him too. So AITJ?”
28. WIBTJ If I Keep My Neighbor's Cat?
“My neighbors have a young cat (less than a year old) that is constantly escaping their house.
The first time it got out my husband and I brought it in, fed it and kept it over night while we posted all over social media that we found him.
The next day my neighbor informed me the cat was theirs and I returned him.
Two days later the cat got out again and came into my yard as I was leaving for work so I scooped him up and took him home instantly.
We have seen him get out multiple times and the owners never seem very concerned even though it’s an all black cat that could easily get run over at night or injured on purpose. The cat is not chipped and does not have a collar or tag.
Now fast forward a few more days to tonight when I was coming home from work and the cat was once again out and must have noticed that I was home so it came straight up to my front door and meowed until I let him in.
I once again fed him and texted my neighbor that he was here but I’m almost to the point where if he’s going to escape every few days and end up at my house anyways, can I just keep him?
He’s super sweet, great with my dogs, and plays with my kids when he’s here.
We are now keeping food here for him anyways since he’s always starving when he gets here. We didn’t necessarily WANT a cat but I feel like he wants to be here so I wonder if I’m a jerk.”
27. AITJ For Correcting My Sister?
“I’ve been a runner for as long as I can remember, I absolutely love it. I want running to continue growing as a competitive activity and as a just-for-fun hobby. I encourage and support newcomers to running, but recently I encountered a situation where I felt gate-keeping was necessary.
My sister-in-law got into running last year, and she absolutely fell in-love with it as well. Since I am also a runner, I decided I could connect with her on the topic. I wanted to hear about her runs, her progress, and maybe offer some helpful guidance if she wanted it.
So, at a family gathering I ask her about running.
After a bit of conversation, she mentioned to me that she ran a marathon. I was quite surprised, she ran a marathon after only getting into running a year ago.
That is amazing, what incredible dedication and drive (I thought to myself). I was about to praise her for this incredible accomplishment, but then she explain this “marathon” in detail. It was an online marathon that she started late last year and apparently completed this year.
Basically it was an app based event where you tally up your running distances until you reach 42.2km (26.2 miles). I chuckled slightly and told her that its great she totalled 42.2km in that time-frame, but it doesn’t count as a marathon.
I told her that a marathons have time limits for completion, usually 6 to 8 hours. If they didn’t, then I could claim multiple ultra-marathons via the aggregate distances I ran in my life. Its disingenuous and in my opinion, undermines those who have actually ran a marathon.
She didn’t take this well, she called me an idiot, a bully, an elitist, and a few other things. I apologized for upsetting her, but I stand by what I said, she didn’t run a marathon.
I didn’t press the subject at all and left it at that, she wouldn’t speak to me the rest of the gathering. My wife agrees with me, despite not being a runner herself, she said her sister overreacted.
Their mother said that I should have just let my sister-in-law believe that she ran a marathon. Maybe, I don’t know….she is 23 years old, without any impairments. Validating her “marathon” would feel similar to lying to a child to boost their confidence. The difference is, she is not a child.
Am I the jerk?”
26. AITJ For Refusing To Dogsit For My Parents?
“I actually babysat their puppy for them before but it went badly all three times. The first time I was caught off guard when she jumped in and pulled my dog’s toy away with her teeth.
My dog was playing with it when she yanked it away. He went to play with another toy and she also took it from him.
The second time, I was prepared with extra treats and toys that I got for the purpose of distracting the puppy.
For some reason, the puppy prefers to take my dog’s toys. My dog being a gentle soul just sat there and then looked over at me pleadingly. The third try ended the same way.
Now I’m being asked to dogsit for the fourth time.
I already told my mom and dad that I won’t do it. They are saying as their son I should be helping and I also should be more understanding to their puppy since she is still very young. They think that I haven’t put in enough effort.
Am I wrong for not giving this a fourth try?”
25. AITJ For Wanting Privacy?
“I (19f) live with my mom, her partner, and my sister. My mom and her partner have been together for a few years. I have never liked her partner and my mom doesn’t like him either but she just deals with having him around.
I’m almost certain he knows I don’t like him, we barely even speak at all. He lives here without paying any bills and has no job. He likes to drink, he’s more of a burden to have around than anything else.
I do not look at him as a stepfather in any aspect, but simply a stranger living in my home.
Today I was cleaning out my room and threw away two trash bags of stuff. The items I threw away ranged from actual garbage to just things I don’t use anymore.
Some of it wasn’t complete trash but mostly it was miscellaneous stuff. I left the two bags in the living room, which my mom was aware of, because I didn’t know where she wanted me to put it at the time.
My mom tells me that her partner was going to look through the bags to see if he could “find anything good”. This immediately upset me because I feel like my privacy had been invaded.
He didn’t ask me about what was in there or if he could look through it at all, which I don’t understand why he would want to do that in the first place. Nobody aside from me knew what was in there.
This is also something my mom does – looks through the clothes I want to get rid of. But I know her intentions are pure. This is not the first time he has done this, when we first moved into our current house my mom told me he tried to go through my sock drawer to organize them but she stopped him, because she knew I would be upset if I found out he did that.
Am I overreacting for being upset about him going through my trash? To me it’s just the principle of the situation, why would he be going through a teenage girl’s trash? What value could he find in the items I decide to get rid of? I took the bags back to my room because this makes me feel like I have no privacy.”
24. WIBTJ For Not Liking My Sister-In-Laws Jokes?
“My husband (38m) and I (38f) have been trying to have kids for over 10 years. We’ve seen specialists, taken meds, had surgery, done IVF, etc. He’s healthy and I have a few things that will make it harder, but not impossible.
We’ve also had 4 miscarriages over the years. We tried the adoption route as it is something we have always wanted to do regardless of if we had our own children and the mother changed her mind.
We completely believe that it will happen if/when it is meant happen, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck sometimes.
Anyways, my SIL (36f) and her husband 39m) have 2 rambunctious boys (8&9). They are the typical roughhousing little dare devils that kids can be and it comes with them getting into trouble a bunch as you can imagine.
Whenever I am visiting and the boys are arguing or fighting, my SIL will turn to me and say things like “you are free” and “it’s so hard.” I completely realize that parenting is hard but, in all fairness, she planned having her kids only 14 months apart.
This past time she said this to me again and added “don’t have kids” and “you don’t want this.” She even dramatically grabbed and shake me saying “you can go anywhere and do whatever you want.” I am polite and tell her that we do want to have some and we drop the subject but it hurts because we would give anything to be in her situation.
She knows everything that my husband and I have gone through.
WIBTJ to remind her that the only reason we don’t have kids is because we lost them? I love her and I’m perfectly fine with her venting about the boys and we do help with them whenever we can. I know she will feel bad once I remind her, but I just want her to realize we haven’t been child free by choice.”
23. AITJ For Yelling At My Roommate About A Mess?
“The second day we moved in to our new place my roommate microwaved some soup and it went everywhere; on the walls, the roof, the door, and the turntable. She made a “whoops I guess that it’s staying there until we move out” joke but there’s no way I thought she was serious.
She’s messier than I am but most of it I can handle. I do fully enforce that I am not her maid and will not clean up her messes. Today, 3 months later, we get in a full on screaming match over it.
Her complaint is that she doesn’t like me nagging her over this mess. My complaint is that I’ve reminded her multiple times and I shouldn’t have even had to ask her in the first place to clean it up.
The argument finally ends when she starts screaming that I’m having an episode, I’m clinically insane, and I need to be locked up. I just couldn’t take her seriously anymore and had to walk away.
I understand not liking being nagged but I felt that saying I’m clinically insane and need to be locked up because I asked for her to clean up a 3 month old mess in the microwave was…a unique take.
AITJ in this situation?”
22. AITJ For Wanting My Brother-In-Law To Move Out?
“My 28F husband 36M, brother 35M moved back into our finished basement in May. For context he has consistently had issues with not setting boundaries in his relationships. He lived with us from 2017-21 we asked him to move out because he moved his partner in after seeing her for 3 weeks without introducing her and he was only supposed to live with us for 2 years.
He said he didn’t understand why I felt like she lived here. She was here EVERY day, even if he wasn’t in town for weeks, she’d drive out of her way to stay here but wouldn’t actually interact with us.
She’d answer our front door with just a shirt on. She wasn’t contributing to any bills and he wasn’t paying anymore than his regular 1000. It was grating on me, this went on for 8 months.
My husband didn’t see an issue.
They broke up after we said he had 6 months to find a place. Brother-in-law said IWTA for not wanting her here. 2 months after moving out he said he hated the place he bought and wanted to move back.
We just ignored it.
He was seeing a new woman in December took her to meet his mom after 2 weeks of seeing her. Decided when her lease would be up in April they would move together with her 3 kids.
He called in March saying he was getting married the next day. Even with all our concerns after lengthy talks with him, we supported him. He quit his new job making 85k so he wouldn’t have an hour commute if he lived with her.
Now makes 60k. He sold his house in May, they moved into an airbnb until they could find something permanent.
He initially wanted to move his wife in our home, my husband said just he could move in until they found a place together but I said his wife couldn’t have a key to my home because I’ve only met her once and brother-in-law was upset.
She kicked him out 4 days later, said she just didn’t love him. They ended up getting an annulment. So he moved in with us temporarily.
We found out he was paying for the woman’s $2600/month airbnb and then just leased her a place because she has eviction history.
But he hasn’t paid rent here (we were fine with the first month being free) he said he’d only pay $500/month if he can’t stay a year. I told my husband I don’t want him here; he needs to pay at least what he paid in the past and be out by end of September.
And he can’t have women over. My husband and I also have a pet dander allergy and my brother-in-law moved his 3 cats in.
Now their mother is upset saying I’m stressing him by rushing him to live on his own when he’s sad; and I need to stop breastfeeding (3mo) when he’s around.
She said I’m inhospitable and don’t like “communal living”. Their mother also lived with us for 2 years and it was super rough. Hubby said if it was my brother I wouldn’t set hard boundaries like this, and I said “you’ve never had to live with mine.” I can tell he’s annoyed with me over this situation. I don’t get why brother-in-law can’t just be alone.
21. AITJ For Not Wanting To Hear Comments About My Weight?
“I’m 16(F) and lashed out at my dad for commenting on my weight. For context, I spent the past 3 months recovering from a terrible ankle break and I’m finally able to walk on my feet (with a brace).
While I recover, I’m cooped up in my house while my dad only says that “you have to lose weight.”
For background, I’m at my heaviest right now for being 5’3″ and 80kg it shows on your body.
I used to be 63kg in 2021 but due to the stress and problems I gained it all back. I hate myself for it (I have been overweight all my life and I was so close to being normal for once).
I feel really touchy or like sensitive about my weight (my entire family knows it). I don’t like the constant reminder of how heavy I am but I don’t deny it and I try so hard to lose weight.
My parents never give me direction but just comments. This particularly gave me a lot of rage because I broke my ankle while playing lacrosse (while trying to lose weight). This whole year has been stressful so even though I worked out, I neglected my diet (thus not losing weight).
When I lashed out asking him to advise me on anything else, my mom chimes in saying you are so young “lose the weight or it will ruin your life.”
I get it, people die from being overweight. My brother who’s not seen as overweight because of his body look just tells me to shut up.
20. AITJ For Having The Fan On?
“So I (24f) work part time at an IT help desk. There is this one colleague of me (f44) that has the mind that everything needs to be her way or it is wrong.
For some background: I have chronic pain and am officially disabled.
When I had the chance for a new desk she threw a fit saying I didn’t know what pain was until I was her age (she doesn’t have a disability). So saying the work environment isn’t the best is an understatement.
Now to the problem: we sit at a long desk for people to come by and ask us questions. When I got to the desk I turned the fan on as it is really hot at the moment and my pain gets worse in hot temperatures.
She comes in and nags promptly how it affects her and I need to turn it down. It already is at the lowest setting and she sits like 4.5m or 177 inches away. I turn it so I will still get a bit but she won’t.
It is still not enough for her and she complains that I need to change my seat because she can’t work with it on. I tell her no and that she can change her seat if she doesn’t like it as I was here before her and I sit in a wheelchair so I can’t sit everywhere. She is now passive aggressive and giving me the silent treatment so was AITJ?”
19. AITJ For Refusing To Babysit?
“I (F18) have two younger siblings a 6 year old brother and a 3 month old baby brother. My mom always tells me to take care of my siblings, and I usually do. I usually don’t complain about having to take care of them but recently my mom decided to make plans with my aunt to have a beach day.
This seemed pretty cool at first until she decided to invite my partner(18M). I was happy about him going but when we decided that we would not be swimming in the water she said that we would be taking care of my baby brother and my aunts new born baby.
I was fine with this AT FIRST but then she told me that we would not be able to use our phones, listen to music, or walk around with the babies. I told her that she should not have invited my partner only to make him babysit with me and that we are not babysitters for two babies. She got very mad and called me a jerk and called my aunt to complain but I really don’t see what I did wrong. So AITJ?”
18. AITJ For Refusing To Return A Gift For My Nephew?
“I (29F) have a stepsister (32F) who has two kids who I’ll call A and B. A is having a birthday party this weekend and we’ve all been asked to buy him a gift.
Now stepsister likes to be in control so she’s had a list set up for months of things she needs to buy for his party but also things he wants for his birthday.
During a recent conversation she said he has everything he wants already and would be happy with a set of trading cards or some money. So I put £20 in a card and signed it from myself, my partner and our baby.
Step sister messaged me yesterday and asked what I had gotten for him, so I told her what I have done and she said it was okay but he had decided he wanted a new toy from the toy shop.
I looked on the website and said “it’s a great toy, maybe if he saves his birthday money he could get it!” And she outright asked if I would just buy that for him. I was always taught from a young age that if we wanted something that badly we could just save up our birthday money (if we were lucky to get some) or Christmas money to buy it.
Like I said I have a baby of my own and I could not justify paying the price of that one toy for my own kid let alone someone else’s. I explained I had already sorted his present and the rest of my finances were used for this month on our food and bills.
So she’s uninvited us from the party.
17. AITJ For Contacting My Ex Sister-In-Law?
“I (26F) have quite a large family; 1 sister, 3 brothers & a coach-load of nephews and nieces.
My parents and I occasionally keep in touch with brother 1 (them more so than me) and we keep in touch with brother 2’s kids, but not brother 2 himself.
I have him on social media, but that’s where the contact stops. His relationship with my parents broke down around 7 years ago. Brother 1 and 2 are generally pretty close.
Just for info, Brother 3 passed away around 14 years ago, and my sister is a thieving POS, so none of us talk to her, which is why neither of them are in the scenario.
Brother 2 (41M, let’s call him Ben) and his ex (41F, let’s call her Kay) have 6 kids age 13-25. They split up around 4 years ago after basically just living as housemates for the 5 or 6 years prior.
It wasn’t a bitter break up to anyone’s knowledge and by their own admission too. They were never married, living in a housing association house, so Ben moved out.
I’m best friends with my niece (their daughter, 25F, let’s call her Sam) and spend a lot of time with her and her kids.
Kay is often at Sam’s house when I visit to help with the kids, so I still see her, keep in touch with her and have her on social media etc.
Ben moved on pretty fast, as did Kay, and they just don’t get on at all now.
Their 2 eldest kids (Sam and one of my nephews) don’t speak to Ben either, but he seems really happy with his partner & the younger kids are fine too.
Last week Kay got engaged, and I commented congratulating her on her social media post.
Fast forward to yesterday, brother 1 called my parents and said my nephew (his eldest child) was snooping, saw Kay got engaged & that I’d commented congratulations. He was saying how out of order that was, and that I shouldn’t even speak to Kay at all.
Saying things like “as Ben’s sister it looks bad on Ben” that I’m saying congratulations to his ex (who is also my best friends mum!) on her engagement. My parents both defended me, reminding him of my relationship with Kay.
He seemed to acknowledge why I said it, but still said he wasn’t happy and would leave it at that.
I woke up today & received a social media message from Ben which says “you’re having a laugh? My own sister congratulating Kay on her engagement? Hope you’re getting married soon because that’s lower than low & you don’t deserve our family name.”
I’ve not even responded yet. I’m just a bit dumbfounded & wondering, AITJ”
16. AITJ For Needing To Crash At My Moms?
“So I discovered the property I rent has been sold and the new landlord wants us out. The old landlord did not tell us the property was for sale or that it had been sold.
We found out the hard way when a surveyor let themselves in to check the property a few days ago. We began moving things into storage but in the meantime I reached out to my mom to ask if I could stay with her for a couple weeks until we found somewhere else to move in to.
Her words were “No, I’d rather see you homeless than have you move back in with me.”
It’s fine that she doesn’t ever want me back there so I asked if I could at least store a couple boxes of my valuables there in the meantime.
This seemed to open a whole can of worms. She began berating me, saying how all I do is use her like everybody else and how I don’t love or care about her.
I apologised and said I would just ask a friend to watch my stuff, no big deal.
She then began saying how I was getting her down by the fact I was going to be homeless and I only had myself to blame but how I also didn’t think about how this would impact her.
She said it was upsetting and shameful to hear that her only child was going to be homeless. She was crying and saying how I never think about her or how she feels and I’m only out to use her.
What’s annoying is when I lived with her I paid for everything. I paid all her bills and bought her a new and expensive oven when hers broke only for her to sell it and buy a cheaper one with the money.
I bought her food shopping too and paid her petrol for her car. These were the terms I had to abide by to be able to live with her. If I did not buy food or pay the bills I would starve.
We lived quite rurally so there wasn’t anywhere else I could go.
When I got my own place in town she would frequently turn up and dump all her stuff here while she went out to meet friends.
I just feel like I am somehow a terrible person and really don’t want to talk to her again if I make her feel that awful.”
15. AITJ For Moving Out Without Telling Anyone?
“My Muslim Eastern European parents, mother specifically, loses her temper when I talk about moving out. She says not until I get married. I have been in a secret relationship with a Latin American man for the last 5.5 years and we are moving in together in 2 days and my family does not know about either of these things.
My parents are very strict and very cultural and being in a relationship/marrying outside the culture is something I’m expecting to get disowned for.
My father has an angry past and my mother feels the need to be in control of everything.
I feel like I don’t have my own identity and I feel like I’m trauma bonded to her and just want to do what makes her happy. The guilt I have leaving and living with someone they have no idea about is eating me alive.
I started therapy regarding this a few months ago but I don’t think I will ever feel prepared for the cruel things they will say to me and possibly do. Growing up I wanted, almost NEEDED, my moms approval for everything I did down to the things I wore.
I never wanted to upset her. I know I shouldn’t care, but I do. I also feel like the best way to leave is to leave without them knowing that way I don’t have to face the yelling, the throwing of things, the breaking of things, etc.
My dad has told me in the past if I married outside our culture to “erase my last name.” I feel like I’m going to either explode or pass out. I don’t want to cause anyone harm or pain. I’m not sure how to cope with this or really just how to handle this.”
14. AITJ For Not Trusting My Partner With Our Dog?
My partner (M22) and I (F20) live separately and, call us crazy, recently got a dog together. We’ve had him for about two months now.
Background: my partner works 7am-5pm shifts, sometimes later, 5 days a week so the dog is with me 90% of the time as I work part time and take online classes for college.
I spend all my weekends at his house and go over whenever I get the chance during the week when he’s off work. Prior to getting the dog we knew I had a family trip in which I couldn’t bring the dog with me.
He told me at any point that I wasn’t able to care for the dog he would, of course, watch him since it’s our pup and we wouldn’t have to worry about someone else caring for him.
About 3 weeks ago, I took him to the vet to get his puppy shots and scheduled his next appointment so we could get his last round of shots. This appointment happened to fall on the week I would be out of town so I let my partner know.
I figured it wouldn’t be a problem, we agreed to split the cost of the dog and I paid the first vet bill myself. I figured he wouldn’t mind especially considering it wouldn’t be nearly as much the second visit.
Almost immediately there was a problem. He started asking me if I could do it myself before or after my trip, asking why he had too. I tried to work out the vet appointment to a different time but when on the phone, my vet told me puppy shot schedules are strict and shouldn’t be taken care of earlier or later than the appointment that is given.
My partner eventually gave in and said he would figure something out. Over the next couple of days most our conversations turned into how he doesn’t know how he’ll be able to care for our puppy properly while I’m gone because of his work hours.
Keep in mind, he agreed to watch the dog before we even got him, knew the dates of the trip and was given two months to work something out. I can’t put our puppy in a daycare kennel type place because as I mentioned before he doesn’t have all his shots.
It’s now two days before my trip and my partner has continued complaining about watching our dog saying he doesn’t know how he’s going to do it and he’s probably gonna keep him outside while he’s gone (that’s almost 10 hours in 90 degree weather each day).
Eventually I got aggravated and told him I’d find a pet sitter to properly care for him and pay them to take him to the vet for his shots, as well as pay for the bill of course, so he doesn’t have to worry about it.
He’s now telling me I’m taking away his time from the dog and he’s perfectly capable of watching him, himself. That I’m being inconsiderate and want the dog all to myself. I’m just trying to make it easier for the both of us.
13. AITJ For Coming Out?
“I (F18) have a little brother (M15) that has copied everything I do throughout my entire life. If my favorite color was blue, his suddenly would be too. If I grew my hair out long, he let his grow too.
If I learned a new instrument, he had to too. I couldn’t be an individual and I hated it. What made it worse was that my family would often chose him over me, because he was a smaller and cuter version of myself.
It really hurt, and it’s contributed to my low self esteem and I still fear to this day that when people meet my brother they will eventually leave me for him. Call me selfish, but it hurts.
Whenever I brought this up to my mother, she would blow me off and just said that “it’s what siblings do”.
During my freshman year, I came out as a lesbian. I’ve never liked boys and often found myself having little crushes on girls in my class when I was in elementary school the way that girls would have little crushes on boys.
Finally finding a label that described me was freeing and I was (and still am) proud and out to everyone I knew. My brother, following my lead, decided to come out as bisexual the following week.
Once my mother found out about this she became angry and pulled me aside. She told me that I knew that my brother copies everything I do and that I need to “tone it down” so I don’t confuse him.
Now, I already don’t bring up my sexuality often because my father is homophobic and did not accept me for being a lesbian, but this grinded my gears. Throughout my entire life, it was ok for him to copy me even at the expense of my own mental health, but now that he copied something that SHE doesn’t want him to be, copying suddenly isn’t just “something that siblings do?”
Regardless of this situation, I think it’s important to explore your sexuality before confirming it and I would support him whether it was just another copying phase or something genuine.
I told her this and now she’s upset with me for turning her son gay. This was not my intention at all. I just wanted to be out and proud and now it’s turned my own mother against me.
12. AITJ For Not Wanting To Stay At My Dad?
“A little backstory, my parents are divorced and me and my younger brother live with my mom. My dad has remarried and now has a stepdaughter and him and his wife had another baby, who is at this point.
Since my parents share custody me and my brother come and visit my dad somewhat often ( to be fair my brother stays with him more, since I have a rather strained relationship with my stepmom ).
Since I remember my dad was always strongly against buying any property and we always rented ( he wanted to move around to have more work opportunities ) and for some years after him and my mom got separated he had the same mindset.
This year he announced that he’s buying a house. I was really happy for him, since he was beaming with joy and if my dad is happy, I’m happy.
After the announcement I sat down with him to discuss some details and naturally ( since his family is pretty big ) the topic of bedrooms and overall space came up.
He said that there are 4 bedrooms in the house and I quote “Our bedroom, your older sisters room, the babies room and your younger brothers room”. When I asked where I would stay when I visited he simply responded there’s a couch I could use.
To say the least, that hurt my feelings. Since the divorce I’ve been battling feelings of uselessness and a feeling of being replaceable ( which was facilitated by constantly being compared to my step sister ).
My parents divorced because my dad was unfaithful with his now wife and left, so I felt abandoned. In no way do I demand a separate room or anything like that, the only thing I want is to feel like I belong in his life and even in his new family situation and being the only person who doesn’t have a so to say designated space does not help with that.
So just saying there’s a guest room or a kids bedroom would have been more than enough for me.
I slowly stopped staying with my dad altogether, since it started being hard on my mental health, but I would meet up with him when possible for lunch or just for a day of hanging out.
After a while my dads side of the family started asking why I stopped coming to his house. When I told them about my thoughts and feelings they told me I was a brat and being ungrateful and childish for sacrificing my relationship with my dad for my materialistic desires.
Their main stance was “what’s the point of having space for me if I don’t live there constantly?”. That really made me question if I was out of line and just acting spoiled.
11. WIBTJ For Telling My Aunt She is A Bad Person?
“My aunt has never been remarried, she married my uncle and have never been split from him. They are a pretty stable family, decent income and as far as we were aware no marriage issues.
They own a second ‘holiday’ home in an area closer to family so they can come up and visit as they please.
Recently, my uncle drove up to the holiday home to find the back door unlocked, he called my aunt and cousin asking if they’d been to the house, neither had.
As it turns out, ‘the highschool friend’ my aunt has been spending time with a lot was given a key to the house because my aunt was intending to have the house to themselves that weekend, behind my uncles back, unaware that he was visiting this weekend too.
My uncle walks in to find highschool friend, I’ll call him J. J was standing making himself toast in his boxers alone when my uncle walked into the house. He was furious and demanded answers immediately from my aunt, she eventually arrives at the house where after a large argument, my uncle demands to go through J’s phone, to see what was being said between him and my aunt but what he found instead was that J has been remarried three times, married currently, between all of his spouses, he has fourteen children and pays zero child support for the children between the ex wives.
His current wife is too old to have children, but she wants more so she has been paying J monthly to spend time with my aunt, with the intention of getting her pregnant so he can take the baby for his wife.
The entire family was called to the holiday home, I currently hiding in the bathroom typing this while my aunt sobs in the kitchen playing the victim. She had no idea what was going on yet she still intended to spend a weekend alone with a man behind my uncles back.
I feel the need to tell her she is still in the wrong because the way she is handling this is annoying me. I feel I may be in the wrong though and need desperate help. WIBTJ?”
10. AITJ For Refusing To Give My Parents My Papers?
“I (f24) don’t live with my mother, and only ever did for about a year because she was working on the other side of the country and needed someone to take care of the apartment since my brother (who lives with her) is lazy.
In that time she told me to pay the electricity because she was paying rent. She never paid rent and in the beginning of the year got a notice that she hadn’t paid rent for 8 months which lead to us being -6.5K in rent.
I was shocked at that and moved out, I stopped all payments for the electricity that went through my account but gave my brother money in cash in case he wanted to stall the eviction.
My brother (22) doesn’t work. Only recently he got an apprenticeship starting September and he got a new apartment leased for when he starts work. He’s been living with my mother in her partner’s apartment in the meantime, while I went back to my grandma who I take care of.
I recently got injured on my arm which requires surgery. I won’t be healed and able to get back to my part time job for another 3 months. This lead to me seeing my mother again after god knows how long since she had driven me to hospital once when I got injured (she demanded me pay for her petrol though).
Now she called me earlier saying I have to give her my birth certificate for her work. I asked why and she sent me a form where it states that she can get benefits for having kids (even as adults since I’m in uni) in her household or kids she pays alimony for.
Her accounts get frozen constantly due to her massive amount of debts she acquired over the years, but with kids in her household her account can’t be fully frozen. I refused and said if she wants it she needs to pay alimony.
She called me an awful person and that I’m ruining my brother’s life because she has to pay his rent for the first couple months until he can pay it himself. I don’t see how this is my fault.
I’m not responsible for her debt.
She said I’m ungrateful and a disappointment and I’d pretty much lost it at that. I told her that I’ve been the one who takes care of her mother while she’s indulging in bad habits and parties.
That I’ve been working ever since I’m an adult while studying, meanwhile my brother wasn’t even going to school and just playing games.
She said that she will take me out of the family insurance (I just got out of hospital by the way) since I’m no longer her child.
I am genuinely at a loss on what to do. AITJ?”
9. AITJ For Locking My Daughter Out?
“I (F 49) have two daughters, one of which is 17.
Her curfew is 10:30pm, which I personally think is a pretty reasonable time, however she finds it unfair for someone her age to have a curfew of 10:30.
In the past I have had multiple arguments with her such as her friends having more relaxed parents than her, however I think 10:30 is a perfectly good time for her to come home from.
She always comes home at the agreed time, and she doesn’t drink or consume any harmful substances or anything like that. We have had a couple of arguments in the past with rules and etc, for example she wasn’t allowed her phone in her bedroom until she was 14 and her past curfew when she was 14 was 6pm (which I think is also reasonable for someone of that age.)
Anyway cutting to last night, she was out with friends at a restaurant and also hanging by the river (I don’t like her hanging around the river as it can get pretty dodgy, I know this because she has to have her location on when she’s going out).
I continuously checked her location, to check that she was safe and all. However the time was already 10pm and she hadn’t begun to make her way back yet. At 10:30pm, she still wasn’t back, and then I asked her why she wasn’t back yet.
I was very upset as she had agreed to come back at 10:30pm as usual. The time then came to 11 and she still hadn’t come back, and she had texted me to ask if she could stay out later, of course I said no because it was already 11pm and she wasn’t back.
I got more and more annoyed as she still wasn’t making her way back yet, and I began to bombard her with texts asking her why she wasn’t home yet and if she knew what the time was!
I was very annoyed with her and I was even tempted to go out in the car to go and get her from wherever she was.
Finally at 12am, she finally turned up, I had already locked the door. And as she was knocking on the door, I continued to ignore the knocks. She was a whole hour and a half late from coming home.
I left her out there for about 20minutes, with her knocking on the door begging me to let her in, until I finally unlocked the door. I began to shout at her, telling her that coming home at this time of night was unacceptable.
After about 10minutes of us arguing, I let her go upstairs.
I decided that if she wasn’t going to come home at the right time, then she isn’t able to go out at all for the next week or so.
I’m upset that she totally disregarded my rules, and as long as she is living under my house, she must come home at 10:30.
I’m very upset with her and although she isn’t one to break the rules, this one has left me with no trust for her, AITJ?”
8. WIBTJ For Telling My Daughter The Truth About Her Dad?
“I (45f) divorced my ex (49m) about 10 years ago after he accused me of infidelity. We have 3 kids (17m, 13f, 12f) and for the first 2 kids, it took quite a while to conceive.
We originally wanted 3 kids back to back to back, but things didn’t go according to plan. When I was pregnant with my youngest (Julie, fake name), he started getting distant. He always blamed himself for our issues conceiving, even though we never got things tested.
So when I was pregnant with Julie so quickly after our middle child, his behavior changed. After she was born, he’d say things like “How come she doesn’t look like me as much as Amy (our middle)?” and then straight up accused me of being unfaithful to him.
That’s when things fell apart. I never was unfaithful to him. I never did anything of the sort. But the final straw was when he demanded a DNA test. I told him if he doesn’t trust me and takes the test, then I will file for divorce.
He took the test, Julie is his. But the damage was done. We divorced when Julie was 2. His relationship with Julie has always been cold. He would call his 2 other kids nicknames like “buddy” and “sweetie” but he would always call her Julie.
Julie, unlike my two other kids, was always into sports. She’s really good at soccer.
And suddenly, my ex now has more interest in her. He’s attending her games and even drives her out to tournaments a few hours away.
Apparently he talks a lot about her, because our mutual friends would say “Jake said Julie was doing so well in soccer” when he never really talked about her at all before this.
I know he is only interested in her because of her abilities and it hurts me.
I told myself I would play nice because Julie is happy and that’s the most important thing. Recently on a long tournament trip, it was just me and Julie in the car and she asked why her dad suddenly started liking her.
She told me she always wondered why she wasn’t given the same attention as her siblings and asked what happened and why did we get divorced. My go-to-line for the divorce question is sometimes people fall out of love with each other and that’s what happened.
And from my understanding, that’s what my ex also said.
But when she was talking about this, I looked over and saw she had tears in her eyes.
I talked to my parents and some friends, and half of them are telling me she needs to know, and the other half tell me that I would be an AH for ruining a father/daughter relationship that finally got off the ground.
I know HE doesn’t deserve it, but Julie does. She deserves a dad that loves her and treats her like his other kids, and her finding out the truth may ruin that (I mean, my ex already ruined it for 12 years).
So, WIBTJ if I tell Julie the truth about her dad?”
7. AITJ For Not Inviting My Little Sister To My Wedding?
“I (27F) recently got engaged to the love of my life (29F). I am so excited, she’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner and so much more. She would’ve been ok marrying me just at the courthouse but I really wanted to have a wedding like I always dreamed about.
My relationship with my family is complicated. My father will not be walking me down the aisle but he and my mother will be invited. My older sister (31F) is also invited and will be a bridesmaid.
Now, my younger sister (24F) and I are not close. We had a huge falling out a few years ago and are not involved in each other’s lives. I do not want to invite her since she was awful to me when I came out and took advantage of me for years.
My fiancée is totally supportive of my decision. When I told our older sister though she told me I was being a jerk for excluding her since all the rest of our family will be there and she still lives with my parents so she will know.
I know it looks bad but I think having her there will just ruin the day. Am I the jerk? Should I just invite her?”
6. WIBTJ For Wanting My Uncle To Sing At My Wedding?
“We are both in our late twenties and getting married this December. We’ve been together since college but decided to work on our careers before getting hitched. We’ve actually been engaged for 7 years but that’s not really important.
Actually it is a tad relevant because I come from a very large family, so my partner has been my date to a dozen family weddings so she knows the drill.
My great uncle has this wedding “trick” he’s done for the last 40 years or so according to my parents.
Like he did it at their wedding and such. I say trick for lack of a better word, maybe “wedding gag or prank” works too. For all his kids, nieces, nephews, grandkids grand nieces and nephews, as well as second marriages too, he sings his songs.
It’s always either after cake cutting or the end of the first dance, he will grab the microphone and sing 1 of these 3 songs. “Wooly Bully” “That’s Rock & Roll” and that song that Davey Jones sang in that Brady Bunch episode.
He only sings 1 and rotates them between weddings. Personally I’ve seen each song performed half a dozen times minimum. He will get the band in on it, or have the DJ play the track.
So my partner has recently talked to me about this and rudely told me “please talk to your uncle and let him know not to embarrass me in front of my family by singing” I didn’t like the way she put it, but I can agree with the sentiment that her family probably will be put off by it.
They’re very into appearing sophisticated so they don’t let loose much. I told her it is my wedding and it’s a family tradition at this point, but she really does not want this to happen.
I’ve tried to talk to explain my reasoning but she insists on making sure he doesn’t do it. She said she’s seen in a bunch of times over the years and her and I get the gist already.
Right now I really don’t want to say anything to my uncle. That might hurt his feelings and I know my whole family loves the bit. Sure it’s repetitive but nobody knows which of the three songs he will sing.”
5. AITJ For Going On Vacation With Just My Mom?
I initially planned a vacation with just my mum and I (30F).
My mum’s sister wanted to join in. She can be an extremely sensitive person who takes offence at the slightest but we felt bad for her so we agreed to let her join.
My aunt doesn’t have a partner or kids so she’s alone and begged to come.
My husband initially said he could not join the trip but now says he can come along. He even asked if he could bring his mother but I don’t like her so I told him not to hijack my trip.
I also think that all of these conflicting characters will make it difficult.
My mum and my aunt have clashing characters where my mum can be sharp tongued and my aunt taking offence already makes things rather volatile.
My aunt and my husband have had a bit of tension for a small issue in the past.
So now if my husband comes along, my aunt has said that she is not keen on sharing a room with my mother without me there.
She also said that two to a room, the costs go up. She asked me not to bring my husband along.
I asked my husband if he could accommodate and share a room with me and my mum.
I know this is awkward but single beds and it’s just 8 days. He then got mad at me and said that his own mother could then come along as she “is the most easygoing person”.
And he asked why he has to accommodate my family when I won’t accommodate his.
I’m just thinking that ALL of this could’ve been avoided if I just stick to my initial plan of bringing my mum alone on the trip. Would I be the jerk for telling my aunt and husband not to come? Nothing has been booked yet.
4. AITJ For Secretly Making Our Recipes Healthier?
“I 27f am married to Axel 30m. Last month, Axel’s brother 25m passed suddenly of a heart attack. It was a big shock to all of us, as his brother was very young with a 4mo son, but he never ate healthily/worked out.
Since then, I have encouraged Axel to join me at the gym and I started swapping our groceries for healthier versions of some of the items. Axel is aware of the grocery swaps and is usually onboard with them.
Yesterday, I made chicken curry for dinner. Usually, it only has ginger, garlic and onions and chicken with spices, however to make it healthier, I blitzed pepper and tomatoes to the curry. I used chicken breast instead of chicken thighs to made the recipe healthier.
I also replaced some of the cream with yoghurt instead. This is one of Axel’s favourite foods, but I have avoided making it for a while due to how unhealthy it is, until now when I made it healthier.
When I tasted it, it wasn’t too different to the old version and he ate it (he couldn’t tell the difference) and after dinner complimented my cooking. I told him about the swaps I had made into the curry.
He got angry and told me he was upset I ruined his favorite food for the sake of making it healthy. I don’t understand what the problem is since he didn’t even notice it. AITJ?”
3. AITJ For Wanting Wedding Guests To Change?
“I (21F) and my now husband (21M) just got married 2 weeks ago. We didn’t have a typical wedding. We did a small ceremony at an Airbnb and just hung out with our family and friends and then did a bonfire.
The morning of the wedding my parents and grandparents were there helping set up, and cook the dinner, and the wedding party was also there. My husband, we’ll just call him Bob, had asked his godparents to bring drinks by for later.
When they got there they brought the drinks up and Bob had noticed in the back their wedding clothes. His godmom, we’ll call her Patty, had brought a white, lace dress to wear for the wedding.
He immediately told his best man who then came and told me what was going on and asked if I wanted her to wear something else. I said yes.
Bob then goes and tells her nicely, “Hey so I don’t think we are comfortable with you wearing a white dress to the wedding.
Is there something else you could wear?” She immediately got aggressive with my husband and said “Well it’s 90 degrees out I want to wear light colors”. Okay, well there’s a lot of light colors you can wear.
She calls my MIL and starts going off about how we’re making her change and she doesn’t have time to go back to the hotel. (It’s 11am and ceremony wasn’t until 4) I walked away from the situation, I was trying to get ready.
Time passes and I’m walking down the aisle, Patty is in the sweatpants and flip flops she was wearing to drop off the drinks. I was so embarrassed but I didn’t want to ruin our moment walking down the aisle.
I never said anything. During the reception, his family sat at one table the entire time and left after an hour and a half and had a poor attitude.
We haven’t really talked to my in-laws since the wedding because we had hurt feelings.
Now my MIL is going off on us for not talking to them and making it seem like I was being a bridezilla by making her change, and that we have no right to be upset. Are we overreacting?”
2. AITJ For Forgetting Something For A BBQ?
“So, here’s the deal. We have this family tradition where we throw a big barbecue every first week of the month. It’s like a way for all of us to come together, catch up, and chow down on some good grub.
We have a large family, I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters. And as a whole we are almost 19 people in each barbecue.
Now, it was my turn to host this month, and honestly, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about it.
You see, I’m not the one who wears the apron in my house. That title goes to my wife, Alexandra (F30). She’s a wizard in the kitchen, a cooking genius, and she takes care of most of the housework too.
Me? I’m more like the clueless sidekick in the culinary department.
But here’s the kicker. In my family, it’s always the ladies who take charge of the cooking and baking. It’s not a hard and fast rule or anything, it just sort of happens that way.
My brothers, my dad and I, usually keep our distance from the kitchen. I guess the women in my family have some kind of secret pact or maybe they’re just better at it, who knows? But it has always being this way, even my dad doesn’t allow us to help them.
Anyway, back to the barbecue. Alexandra had been going all out to make this mind-blowing dish for the family reunion. Which being completely honest, I don’t quite remember what it was. It was something with fish.
But here’s where things took a turn for the worse. The day before the big event, I went to work as usual, but I had an immense amount of work so I didn’t pay attention to my phone.
When I came back home Alexandra comes up to me with a worried look on her face. She asks if I got this “spice” she needed for the dish. I asked what she was talking about.
And she was visibly upset, and we started arguing. For my luck, she had being messaging me to get this thing, but as I just told you, I was busy. Of course if it was that urgent, she could’ve called me and being clearer, and how was I supposed to know.
To give credit where it’s due, Alexandra worked her magic and managed to salvage the dish. So that’s why I wasn’t worried, cause she always comes up with a plan B. It wasn’t exactly what she had envisioned, but it still turned out pretty decently.
All of my family loved it and complimented us.
However while she was working I could see she was not looking good. So I asked her if I could be of any assistance. She turned to me and started laying into me about being an utterly useless partner for not being capable of getting just that spice.
I talked this with my siblings, all of my brothers agree that she took it way too far for just a spice and it wasn’t like I was ignoring her, I was busy, but my sisters on the other hand disagree and they think I was pretty much an AH.
1. AITJ For Wanting To Adopt My Nephew?
“I just had a miscarriage 3 months ago and my husband and I tried so hard for that to be our stick baby. Within the past year we’ve had 6 miscarriages. We are devastated but we are not willing to give up on trying for our own.
Someday it will happen.
This past month my sister welcomed her newborn into this world. He is my 2nd nephew and the most precious thing in the world. I adore him so much. During my sister’s pregnancy I was a major part of it and she is aware of all of our losses and she knows how badly we want a baby.
We want one so bad it hurts. After our miscarriage we suggested we name her son after the baby we miscarried. His name would’ve been Noah. My sister said she found it a little intruding and ultimately declined.
We were devastated but we respected her decision.
Once it got closer to her induction date we suggested giving her a ride there and I offered to be in the room with her. I begged her to let me cut his umbilical cord and for him to be placed on my chest immediately after birth.
But she wouldn’t let me. I felt such a connection with him since the moment I heard his heartbeat and I feel like he is the piece of us that is missing and the child we lost.
This past week my sister has been telling us how hard motherhood is and we offered to adopt him and treat him as our own. We want him so badly and we love him to pieces.
My sister declined and asked that I give her space and not contact her for a little while while she gets her mind straight. We begged her and told her how much this would mean to us.
She is currently struggling financially as well.
My husband and I plan on calling cps and an adoption lawyer to see what they think is best for him and my family has since been calling and telling me in a jerk and to leave my sister alone. They also demanded we “get help” but all I’m trying to do is get custody of my nephew. AITJ?