People Urge Us To Be Assertive Toward Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
37. AITJ For Telling My Niece Not To Wear A Bridesmaid Dress To Our Wedding?
“Me (44 f) and my partner (36 f) are getting married next month after 4 cancellations.
Our colors have never changed since we first organized our wedding and everyone knows our colors due to it being my partner’s fave color.
I always wanted an adult wedding party (kids are welcome to the wedding I just didn’t want bridesmaids under 18 or flower girls page boys etc).
My partner’s brother, we shall call him Bob, and his partner Annie have 3 children (F 12, m 7, f 2). F12 has always made it known that she’s not happy she’s not a bridesmaid (but she is also quite a spoilt stroppy child) we explained that we couldn’t choose between our 14 nieces and nephews and couldn’t afford to have them all so we didn’t have any!
Annie is one of my bridesmaids just for context.
Last week the 3 children wanted to show us the outfits that they are wearing to our wedding and when f12 showed me I must admit I lost it! (Not at the child… not in front of the child) it was LITERALLY a bridesmaids dress in our color!
I and my wife-to-be had a massive argument about it because she says ‘it’s just a dress’ but I was so upset! I told her she needed to fix it because otherwise I would change the whole color of the wedding or cancel the bloody wedding!
She spoke to Bob and Annie and they weren’t happy but they’ve changed the dress…. now however every time something comes up about the wedding my wife-to-be throws it in my face that I ‘threw a tantrum’ over a 12-year-old’s dress.
Can you all just tell me if I was in the wrong?
I’m not sleeping because of the stupid arguments and I’m at the end of my rope.”
36. AITJ For Ruining My Partner's Pregnancy Announcement?
“My partner (34 f) and I (28 m) have been together for 5 years. She has a daughter (8) from a previous relationship. Right off the bat, it was made known I had fertility issues and likely wouldn’t ever be able to father a child. I moved slowly in the relationship, although I had fallen in love with her fast. When things got serious, I overheard her telling her sister she was concerned that I might be an ‘aggressive type’ person because of the amount of scars I have.
I didn’t want her scared away so I told her I had a bad childhood and left it at that.
A little over two years into our relationship, I felt somewhat comfortable opening up and for the first time I told her exactly why I’m infertile which is a direct result of an injury I suffered due to trauma as a child.
She was really empathetic and I was just thankful I had found the one I want to spend my life with that also came with a kid I adore.
Fast forward to last summer. My partner and her friend decided to play an impromptu prank on me.
I came home from work, there were multiple positive pregnancy tests in the bathroom. My partner announced she was pregnant, I started freaking out… a happy freak out cause I thought I had hit the lottery with the slim to none chance I have. They both started laughing, the tests were from the friend and not my partner.
I was pretty much devastated and felt really let down that my partner would actually pull a prank like that. At first, she was shocked by my reaction and said, ‘I thought you’d know it was a joke considering your circumstances.’ She ended up apologizing after realizing how hurt I was.
Now for the point of the story. Three weeks ago she arranged a huge dinner with her entire family at our house. She had us play this stupid mystery game and ultimately announced to everyone she was pregnant. Her mother and sisters were deliriously happy.
Immediately I got mad thinking this was yet another prank, so I showed absolutely no emotions which everyone caught on to. I said to my partner, ‘Either you’re just mentally disturbed or you’re having an affair.’ That’s pretty much when things went down.
My partner’s POV is that she was sincerely apologetic about the prank and I should know her well enough to not think she’d ever pull that stunt again. She’s also livid at me for ruining the announcement, embarrassing her in front of her entire family, causing them to think I’m a horrible person, and then finally insinuating that she’s a liar.
I still stand by the claim that had she never pranked me, my reaction would have been different. I do find it odd she decided to tell me along with her family. Things would have likely gone over better had she told me first, and then we announced it together.
But I’m starting to think I acted immaturely causing a scene in front of her family, and I think that’s maybe where I’m wrong.”
35. AITJ For Preferring Wearing Robe Over "Normal" Clothes?
“We’ve been together for about 3 months, and for one reason or another, we always hung out at his place.
This year for Christmas neither of us went to visit family (for logistical reasons), so we thought we’d spend the weekend together at mine.
For one of the days, we purposefully planned to stay the whole day. Ever since I was young, I’ve always loved wearing robes at home.
I have a super soft and fluffy one, and I usually layer it over my at-home closes (I basically treat my robe like a jacket). It’s also extra nice because it’s FREEZING where I live.
The day started out fine, but after a few hours, my partner kept giving me weird looks before he finally asked me to take my robe off and put on ‘normal’ clothes.
I asked him what he meant because we were both basically matching except for the robe (we both had on sweatpants and a sweater. I just had the extra robe).
He said the robe made me look lazy and he ‘kind of hated it’. It’s a totally new robe, so it’s not like it was shabby, so I said no. We were at home alone not expecting guests and literally doing nothing except eating snacks and watching TV.
I wanted to be comfortable.
We ended up arguing about it, and it kind of ruined the day for me. We talked it over, and he said I was a jerk for not being willing to compromise. I told him he wasn’t being fair because it was me being comfortable in my own home, and his only reasoning for not wanting me to wear it was that I looked ‘lazy’ in it.
Also, just to be clear, I do NOT wear the robe in public or in front of guests!”
34. AITJ For Being Mad At My Cousin's Partner For Telling My Family I Am Pregnant?
“My partner Lukas (33 M) and I (F 32) learned that I was pregnant 2 weeks ago. I am currently a little bit more than 1.5 months pregnant.
We were not trying and it was an accident so we are a little lost.
We are at a point in life where we considered the possibility of kids but we never decided anything.
Right now the only people who know are some of our closest friends.
I am not going to lie it has been an intense and stressful couple of weeks.
Yesterday evening we had a family gathering. It is my uncle’s birthday this weekend so he and his wife rented a big house. We all went yesterday night and we were supposed to stay until tomorrow.
It was also the opportunity to have all the family and close friends reunited together.
Yesterday night we all had dinner together. It was a buffet, so everyone was standing and talking. The real meal was supposed to be today at noon.
Lukas and I thought it would be a way to take our minds off things. Keep in mind that at this point NOBODY at this event knew.
So yesterday we were all catching up when my cousin came to introduce his new partner Ana to us.
I see my cousin often so we only talked a little.
After a while, however, Ana came back to us and did not leave me alone.
She kept talking to me, cutting other people off, and trying to make me drink to have fun. I told her that I was not a drinker (which is true, especially at family gatherings) and I tried to make her understand that I wanted to talk to other people.
At one point Lukas got fed up and went outside. She again tried to give me a drink and this time when I told her no she asked in a teasing manner if I was pregnant.
I froze up and before I could say something to her she started telling me that she was happy for me.
I told her that nobody know and her answer was ‘OMG this is such a good opportunity to tell your family’ and then she made a toast and told everyone. Everything happened so quickly that I couldn’t stop her. Everyone came to congratulate me and I started getting overwhelmed and cried. My cousin went to get Lukas who came for me and we left to go to our rooms. A lot of people tried to follow us but he explained that we needed some time.
Later he went out and told people that we didn’t want everyone to know yet. They left us alone for the night.
This morning we went for breakfast and a lot of family members called me dramatic for leaving the night before. I tried to explain that Ana had no right to tell people and that we didn’t want people to know.
They got mad at us saying that at one point or another, they would have known, that I should not have kept it a secret and that I should be thankful for Ana so that we could all celebrate. We lost it and went home.
My family kept calling and texting us. They said that we overreacted that we spoiled the good news and ruined the WE for everyone.”
33. AITJ For Wanting My Dad To Go To My Wedding Without My Mom?
“My mom and I aren’t particularly close. She has never been pushy, so I thought we were in the clear, but then I heard from my cousin that my mom had told his mom, that she wasn’t happy about the wedding and thought I was settling.
I confronted her and she said that we were jerks for spying on her, she can say whatever she wants to her sister. I wanted to know why she said that and she finally admitted that my fiancée is so boring, not very pretty or a ‘good dresser’, and our relationship seems depressing.
She tried to say she was just worried for me. I uninvited her from the wedding, and pretty much the whole family sided against me and said I was overreacting and she can say what she wants in private
My fiancée feels so loved and supported, so I know I made the right decision.
Recently I asked my dad if he still intended to come. He was like you can’t seriously think I’d come. I reminded him that I was still his kid and that the fight was between my mom and me. He said he isn’t going to support me being ridiculous, and that it isn’t even so much a loyalty thing as how awkward and boring it will be without her, and he hates going anywhere without her.
I got mad and asked if that was seriously his reasoning. He literally said that he thinks I’m being a jerk, but ‘beyond that going to a wedding without a date is so awkward’. I told him he was a trashy dad, so thanks for confirming it.
I said if anyone asked where they were I would be honest, and that his kid’s wedding isn’t supposed to be about him having fun.
Now I’m getting backlash and people saying I was manipulative and it makes sense that he won’t come without her.”
32. AITJ For Wanting To Walk My Cat In A Community Full Of Off-Leash Dogs?
“I trained my cat to walk on a leash. He’s a good boy. But it’s basically impossible to walk him around here.
My city has leash laws but it seems like no one obeys them. There’s a little grassy park across the parking lot from me that would be perfect for us to hang out in but there’s always dogs running all over it. It’s not a dog park, there’s a playground right next to it and no fence so it definitely wasn’t intended for off-leash dogs.
But every day, they’re there.
I’ve tried to take him out very early when I don’t see anyone else out there but most of the time, someone ends up bringing their dog out and I have to scoop Kitty up and rush away. I’ve just stopped trying – no matter how much he enjoys it, it’s not worth the risk.
Most of the time, the dog owners acted like it was my fault – cats don’t belong outside, I was provoking their dogs, dogs are expected outside, etc. Pointing out that I was following the law and they were not did not help my case, ever.
Or telling them that there’s a huge off-leash dog park just a few blocks away, why can’t they go there if they’re so anti-leash?
I’ve started taking pictures of the unleashed dogs with their owners and sending them to the complex management. After about a week, I started seeing posts on Nextdoor about the complex issuing fines to the people who don’t leash their dogs and I’m seeing far fewer out there.
I almost feel comfortable enough to start taking my cat for his walks again. But there’s a big fuss about it around our complex and people are complaining about the nosy jerk who started this.
I told my friend about it and I was surprised that she agreed with my neighbors.
She said dogs always take priority over cats in outdoor spaces because it’s a need for dogs and an extracurricular for cats so I should just sit with him on my porch if I want to take him outside.
For the record, he is not afraid of dogs – he was raised by two and usually wants to make friends with them but an unleashed dog is still overwhelming (and dangerous) for him.”
How about looking for an area nearby that could be safe for you to walk kitty and take him there? Somewhere with plants etc so he could get the sensory stimulation that he would love
31. AITJ For Embarrassing My Stepsister At Family Dinner When She Faked An Ourburst?
“My (M 15) mother married my stepfather, John, 3 years ago and were together for 2 before (both previously divorced), but they’ve known each other and I’ve known Violet my whole childhood). John’s daughter, Violet (F 13), has always been in the habit of lying. Just skimming the iceberg, she accidentally left our cat outside last year in the cold, has broken expensive china, ignored her responsibilities (chores), and blamed it all on me.
My mom and John just let her get away with it because she’s ‘young’ and ‘still learning’ but I never lied or had the balls to do anything she did when I was her age and I know all of my friends were better than her too.
Recently, she got onto TikTok. I have no idea what’s gotten into her but ever since she’s been lying about being ND (Neurodivergent) with no diagnosis from anywhere or any flags. She’s said she has multiple different things, such as Tourettes and DID (dissociative identity disorder).
She has never exhibited any of these illnesses before and it honestly makes me sick to my stomach as I myself am diagnosed with ADHD + SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) and that’s already enough of a struggle as it is. She’s started screaming randomly and saying it’s a tic, but only 2 of her ‘alters’ have tourettes and do this.
This leads us to this past week when she was acting up for my grandma’s birthday dinner pulling this. Every time one of my grandparents has a birthday we go out to a nice, luxury restaurant to give them the attention, love, and quality they deserve.
Since my mom married John, he and Violet have been tagging along.
When we get to the restaurant everything is fine, my cousins, aunts, uncles, Mom, John, Violet, and my grandma all sat down. Just to imagine, my mom has 2 sisters and 1 brother. 1 sister is widowed, While the other two are married. Her brother has 2 kids and her sister has 3 while the widow has none.
We were all spread out at a dinner table, when out of nowhere, Violet starts gripping at the food on her plate (chicken, green beans, mashed potatoes) and screaming in the middle of the restaurant. She even slammed the plate and glass down as one of her ‘Alters’ so hard it broke.
No proper diagnoses, no flags beforehand, and no trauma would’ve happened to cause this, from what I’ve seen growing up and John and his ex-wife’s point of view. In response, I lost my cool and said that she doesn’t have tourettes, and she most certainly has no DID continuing with that she claimed to self-diagnose saying we didn’t have the budget to get her assessed when our parents make 6 figures.
In response, she stopped dead in her tracks and ran off crying. John ran after her, but before he did he turned around and gave me a look that said ‘Really?’
The whole table was staring, and my mom dragged me off and said I made more of a scene than her and it was embarrassing.
After around 20 minutes John calmed Violet down and we all walked out to our car and left.”
30. AITJ For Not Paying My Mom Who Gave Me Funds To For My And My Son's Trip?
“I (26 f) have a 7-year-old son.
I have been married to my husband 2 weeks after my 18th birthday, 4 weeks after his 18th, and been together since we were 13. My mom has always disliked my husband because she feels he stripped away my adolescence by playing grown up and because of this, my siblings don’t like him either.
So she moved to Cali 2 years ago (1200 miles from ‘home’) but we hadn’t even really had a relationship prior to this outside of her seeing my son, whom she adores to pieces.
My mother has BEGGED me for months to visit her in Cali knowing I don’t have the budget to do that.
I told her I didn’t have the budget and she told me, and I quote (from text) ‘Don’t worry about the money. I will cover the entire cost. We just miss you and Carson.’ So after months of her begging and insisting she will cover everything, I finally said fine and allowed her to cover my and my son’s trip cost ($500 to get there).
My husband had to work and couldn’t go.
Well… when my son and I get there it turned into chaos really quickly. Her house was a pig sty. I ended up cleaning it top from bottom, including used feminine products and old dog crap. When we were there she decides that she wants to go out and buy my son and me over $400 worth of stuff and refused to let me help cover food costs either.
I offered. But when it comes time to leave, all of a sudden she comes up with excuses why I couldn’t leave yet, and needless to say, my stay was extended by an extra 3 days despite me being over the stay within 4 hours of being there because of the filth and chaos of my siblings and her petting zoo (she has so many animals its disgusting).
In total, with just my trip down there and how much she spent, it cost easily $1100. But then she got mad because I wouldn’t stay longer and refused to cover my cost to get back home so I ended up having to bum money off my in-laws to get a rental car (significantly cheaper than a plane ticket) AND got written up at work for extending my vacation time.
So I get home last night and the entire drive home I was getting nasty texts from my mother saying that I owe her the amount she spent to get me there, not my son, and said I need to pay her back for everything she spent on me while I was there.
In total, for me, not my kid, it cost around $800. I told her no. I outright refused. She said I ‘used her for a free trip’ and ‘didn’t even stay long enough to get reacquainted’ – despite her knowing I had no budget to make this trip and only had a 6-day window – which was exceeded by 3 days, not including my 3 day drive back home.
AITJ?”
29. AITJ For Having Disagreements With My Stepdad Regarding Religion?
“I (20, transgender male, history major) have a stepdad who I’ll call Rick who comes from an extremely religious family church every Sunday, preaches at every meal so on and so forth; one of Rick’s brothers is a missionary, and travels around with his wife and kids trying to convert people to Christianity.
Now I’m Pagan I have been for years and I’m comfortable in my faith, I don’t push it on to others because I believe that a person can believe in whatever they want. But when you start pushing on me or others that’s when I have a problem.
I had only really met Rick’s parents a hand full of times and I didn’t really interact with them but they were having a big family dinner that I was obligated to go to. Rick’s missionary brother and his family were going to be there as they had just gotten back from Africa and they wouldn’t stop talking about how they ‘saved so many souls from satan’ and ‘delivered them to gods light’.
It honestly made me feel sick hearing them talk but I made a deal with my mom that I would be respectful until the food was ready. Well like I had said earlier they pray at every meal, I didn’t participate and just kept quiet.
As we all started to eat Rick’s brother tried interrogating me about why I didn’t pray with them and I simply said it’s not what I believe in.
He didn’t like that calling me as many hurtful things as he could think of and some stuff I have heard hundreds of times before saying I’m a heathen, I’m not going to heaven, and a five-letter gay slur and a transgender slur as well.
The things I have been called and I have heard for years. I looked over to my mom who gave me the nod of ‘go head I’m tired of hearing him talk’ so I told him all the things I dislike about Christianity, the church, and all the horrible things that the church has done throughout history in the name of their god and that I was perfectly happy in my faith and didn’t need saving from anything.
I had gotten up from my seat and took my plate to the kitchen with the little food that I had on the plate (reluctantly as it was really good). I gathered my keys and jacket. I apologized to Rick’s parents but I wasn’t going to say in a place I wasn’t welcomed, and if they were going to condone this type of behavior from their forty-some-odd-year-old son.
Then I would not come back for dinners or Holidays because there would clearly be a conflict between their son and me. So I drive for almost four hours back home after texting my mom that ‘I was sorry I broke our deal. I just couldn’t continue to be berated all because I didn’t pray to a god I don’t believe in’
So am I the jerk for causing a scene at the dinner?”
28. AITJ For Clearing Out The Garage?
“My partner (33 f) and I (23 f) have been together for 3 years, she officially moved into my house about 8 months ago. Long story short, she wrecked her car late last year, refused a sobriety test, and had her license suspended for 18 months.
About January, she began dumpster diving. I absolutely despise it and have told her on numerous occasions how much I hate it.
Of course, she’s not supposed to be driving but to avoid a fight I usually just shut up and let her take the keys.
Every time we go out, we end up dumpster diving. I usually sit in my truck, until she yells at me to load up the crap she finds in the truck. It’s gotten to the point where we get dressed up to go out to dinner, and we’ll end up behind a shopping center instead.
It’s not just peak and go. She literally has to sort through every single little piece. She’ll easily spend an hour in one dumpster. When I see a row of dumpsters, I know I’m in for it. She’s also kept me out well into the morning hours, causing me to get no sleep before work.
Having put up with the crap for 3 months, I put my foot down and said I’m not allowing it. Gas prices are so high rn and it’s a literal waste of time bringing home broken dirty items. I also asked her 2 weeks ago to clean up the garage, but she never touched it.
Over the weekend, I decided to clean the garage out myself so I could actually have room to work on my truck. I loaded up 90% of the dumpster crap and tossed it. Our garage was so packed, it looked like a hoarders mess. She’s also brought horrendous-smelling, stained furniture into the house, but I don’t think I’ll get that crap out of the house anytime soon.
She was over at a friend’s house when I cleared the garage. I picked her up, and when we arrived home she came unhinged to find all the junk gone. She said I had no right to throw out her belongings. What I don’t get is I’ve bought this woman designer clothes and shoes, anything else she wants.
I don’t get the need to pick through the trash. Most of what I threw out were things broken, stinky clothes, and old worthless crap she’ll never use. To give an idea, she mostly picks through thrift stores and dollar store dumpsters. My logic is if it’s in a dumpster… it’s trash.
Was I wrong for tossing the crap? She demanded to know what dumpster I took it to, I wouldn’t tell her so she had a friend come get her to look in all the dumpsters in the area. She never found it but came home with a ton more stuff.”
27. AITJ For Refusing To Apologize To My Mother-In-Law After I Told Her To Screw Herself?
“My (F 27) husband (M 31) has a really close relationship with his mom (F 57). It never really bothered me, I thought it was sweet. He has sisters but when I first met his family it became clear to me that my husband was his mother’s favorite.
She showered him with love and attention, his sisters didn’t really get that. When we first met she looked at me up and down saying, ‘Yes I know all about you’. I thought nothing of it. It’s been like this for a few years, snide comment after snide comment.
When I told my husband about it he shook it off telling me it was in my head and I was just feeling insecure.
We got married a year ago. His mother wore white to our wedding, it was kind of weird but I decided not to ruin the day.
After we were married my MIL started sending me links to websites about trying for babies, and ways to keep husbands satisfied in a relationship. I let her know now was not the time for a baby but when it was she would be the first to know.
At Christmas, she bought the topic of babies at the dinner table in front of the family. ‘Have you guys been trying?’, ‘How frequently?’, ‘I have a few websites you can read’. I calmly shut it down, my husband said nothing. When we got home I asked my husband why he didn’t say anything.
He told me maybe it would be good for me to take the advice and instead of blaming his mother, take a harsh look at myself in the mirror. I was hurt but he apologised and everything went back to normal.
Fast forward to Wednesday, my husband and I were dropping off some baskets for the easter egg hunt my in-law has for my nieces and nephews every year.
My mother-in-law said ‘You look like you’ve gained a bit, are you pregnant yet’. I was floored, again my husband was silent. I told her no and she frowned, ‘From what I’ve heard you need to work a little bit harder in the bedroom, then it might work’.
I looked at her and straight out told her to go screw herself and mind her business. She told me that I was being too sensitive and I needed to show her a little more respect, she was just looking out for her baby. I left immediately and went to the car.
My husband followed me and asked what was wrong with me, I told him straight out that she has no place in my personal life and I wanted to know what he had been telling her. He told me to suck it up, I need to respect his mother, and that she means well.
I was done, I wouldn’t even get in the car, I stood there yelling back and forth with him until my Uber came. It’s been a few days and I’m staying at my sister’s house. My family has said I was right but I have received multiple calls from my husband’s family calling me a jerk and that I should be ashamed of myself, and I should apologize to my mother-in-law.
Fat chance, I just need to know if I am in the wrong, I feel like I’m being made to feel crazy. I’m slowly getting there. So AITJ for telling my MIL to go screw herself?”
26. AITJ For Telling My Mom To Stop Crying?
“My parents are immigrants who were in a loveless marriage and I am the unfortunate result of that marriage.
I know for a fact that they regret having me as a kid and let me know that fact both indirectly and directly. It messed me up a lot initially, especially when they married their respective affair partners and had their own separate families but I actually quite like this… system that I have now.
Neither of them really cares about me which means I can do pretty much anything I want, like I can stay out however long I like, do whatever I like that sort of stuff.
Recently, my mother’s twin brother passed away and while my parents’ marriage didn’t really work out, my father was really close to that uncle and they have been making preparations for the funeral and everything.
My mother who was really close to her brother asked me a make/write an instrumental theme for his funeral. I am really good when it comes to art and music, mostly because it was my coping mechanism. I personally don’t even know my uncle that much and hardly spent any time with him and I have some very important projects due this month (I’m 16 in school) and creating an instrumental theme for such an occasion will take a lot of time.
I told her this and added that if she wanted, I could create some kind of portrait or any kind of artwork for him.
Her reaction was very extreme and after arguing about it for some more time, she said that she couldn’t believe what a cold-hearted monster she raised (I am not bothered in the least about the fact that he died, mainly because as I said, I wasn’t close to him at all and also, he was driving under the influence and hit a pole while driving at a very high speed, no one else was involved in the accident.
It’s literally his own fault). I very calmly responded that 1, she didn’t raise me. I did that myself and 2 that was very rich coming from someone who basically abandoned their only child to play happy family with someone else’s kids. I asked her where she had the audacity to call me such things and she eventually broke down I told her to shut up and to not bother me again, to which she did stop crying and just kept looking at me like I was a ghost or something.
I left after that.
Now both sides of the family are now calling me a jerk and a psycho among other things. I haven’t talked to my mother since and my father lectured me once which I listened to with closed ears. Am I really the one in the wrong here?”
25. AITJ For Putting My Foot Down About Having A Child-Free Wedding?
“My (23 f) fiancé (24 m) and I are getting married in about 6 months. We’ve had a 2-year-long engagement because of the general state of the world postponing plans. His family is paying for our wedding entirely and we’re very grateful. My parents live across the world from us and I am generally low contact with my dad because of how he’s been in the past.
Basically, the situation is now that my dad has threatened to boycott/not come to our wedding now 3 times, most recently today. The first time, he threatened to not come because I didn’t want to invite pastors from a church I don’t attend anymore that he had already asked for their addresses to invite.
He didn’t ask me if he could beforehand either. The second time was when I was talking about hiring an officiant for our wedding, and he told us if we have a female officiant for the wedding he will not attend.
This third time, he was asking me about when our invitations are going to be sent out since some family members were asking.
I told him I had ordered them, but to remind the family members that we were having a child-free wedding so that if they were making plans to plan accordingly. We’d had this conversation maybe 6 months ago, and he was angry that we were choosing child-free at the time.
I did make the mistake of telling him that maybe we would have an age limit instead so he would stop yelling at me over the phone. He hasn’t asked about it since then.
Now, he’s threatening to not come to the wedding since one of my cousins was expecting to bring their kids.
I asked him to just correct it with my cousin and tell them that he was misinformed, but he’s angry that I’m not keeping to the age limit discussion we had 6 months ago. There are still 6 months to our wedding so I feel like there’s still time to correct this with my cousin instead.
I told my dad that if he chooses not to come that I will be upset but it is his choice in the end. He tried to spam called me but I didn’t answer. AITJ for not giving in to him?”
24. AITJ For Wanting My Noisy Roommates To Go To Sleep?
“So, last night my roommates were hanging out with some friends in our dorm.
It’s the last few days of the semester, and I was guessing they didn’t have anything to do, so they decided to hang out with some friends. I came home around 9 and they were all there. As soon as I saw them I immediately went ‘Oh, no’.
You see, this semester, one roommate, in particular, has had several (loud) get-togethers. I’m really socially anxious, so I don’t generally like it when there are strangers over, but I have my own room and my roommates have every right to bring people over.
I usually go to bed at 12, so I, overall, don’t mind unless they keep me up. I have a lot of trouble sleeping, and I am a very light sleeper, so it, unfortunately, doesn’t take much to keep me up. The other 4 times they had people over they stayed up until very late (or early, I suppose), the worst one being when they stayed up until 5 in the morning.
Every time they stayed up they managed to be very obnoxiously loud, but I never said anything, mostly because I hate confrontation.
This time, they were all gone by 10, but apparently, they went to a bar. So, at 2 am they (all except my other roommate) stumbled into our apartment, wasted. They woke me up, which, how could they not?
They were laughing, talking really loud, and stomping around the living/kitchen area (right outside my bedroom door). My other roommate joined them and was the only one who tried to stay at least a little quiet. The others not so much.
At 3 am I said to myself I would ask them to please go to sleep, but I chickened out.
At that point, I decided to try and deal with it. I knew I wouldn’t sleep, but at least could rest my eyes until they all finally went to bed. I stuck with this decision until around 4 am. At this time, they started to play music on the TV.
That was the last straw.
I promptly got on my phone and opened YouTube. I searched for a book by Adam Mansbach, narrated by Samuel L. Jackson. I then cast my phone screen onto the living room TV and pushed play. The lights were out and everyone was in their beds about one or two minutes later.
You see, it was very effective. I was very proud of myself initially, but I woke up feeling a mix of guilt and worry.
I don’t want my roommates to think I’m a jerk. And I don’t like the idea of them being terrified that some random person in the building was able to take control of our screen.
My name should show up in the corner when I mirror, so it’s more likely that knew it was me, but it’s still a possibility they didn’t know it was me. I also think maybe I was wrong to do that, and I’m some kind of buzz-kill.
Maybe I should have grown a spine, gotten out of bed, and just asked them to go to sleep.
What do you think?”
23. AITJ For Telling My Sister-In-Law Not To Meddle With Our Parenting?
“My husband’s sister and I have a tricky relationship. My husband and I struggled to have our son, suffering two miscarriages and two years of infertility on top of that, but we got our boy. SIL doesn’t believe we’re strict enough as parents. She’s got a very different style.
A style we don’t personally like or agree with. But that’s what she prefers and all that. We have been upfront that we do not want her disciplining or correcting our son because the stuff she dislikes is stuff we’re fine with. She has been good about that.
Until three weeks ago.
My husband and SIL’s husband were out back and my son was painting in the playroom. We’re okay with messy painting, with clothes getting paint on them, and general mess when it comes to creativity as long as it’s done in the designated space.
My son was covered in paint and was mixing paint with his hands when SIL started telling him off for making a mess, destroying his clothes. She was loud enough for our husbands to hear and I stepped in right away and told her to stop it, that he’s allowed to do that in our home, and that she needs to leave the parenting of my child to me and my husband.
She told us we couldn’t do much parenting when our son was in tears because she told him off, which he was. My husband stepped in at this point and told her that she was loud, and probably startled and confused him. She said I was a jerk for speaking to her like she was some stranger picking on a kid.
She and her husband left. And then she went and told everyone that I was rude to her and treated her like some monster. I feel like I handled it as calmly as I could given the overstep.
AITJ?
We don’t have our son in a sport, and she’s big on competitive sports for kids, we’re encouraging him to help out with food and take part in deciding what we eat each week, and I think the biggest of all is while he has a bedtime, he can read in bed for longer than she’d ever agree to because she doesn’t believe it’s good.
Our son is always asleep when we go to bed so we’re not concerned but she hates it. That’s the kind of stuff where she believes we spoil him.”
22. AITJ For Not Wanting To Name My Baby After My Sister?
“My sister and I never gotten along (let’s call her Jenn). Jenn was born with a cleft lip (which she had surgery to correct) and has a lazy eye, most likely will never be able to have children, and has some other minor health problems. My parents always baby her because of that.
All throughout my life I have been forgotten about, my parents have forgotten to come to my school plays or my basketball games, have forgotten to pick me up from them, and have not gotten me gifts for my birthday but gotten Jenn stuff.
Now all of that I could live with because they are my parents’ wrongdoings but my sister enjoys it.
She uses my parents’ favoritism against me. For example, she had once cut a big chunk of my hair because a guy she liked asked me out (which I declined). When I told my parents about it all she had to do was cry and they started feeling bad for her and forget that she ever cut my hair.
On another occasion, I work my butt off to convince my parents to allow me to have a pet dog when I was like 14. I got a lapdog and paid for him all by myself. My sister fell in love with him and convince my parents to give him to her.
Now I became pregnant and am expected to have a baby girl, my sister become obsessed with the idea of becoming an aunt and started to buy things for my daughter, texting me with instructions on how I should decorate her nursery, making a name list for her which her top name ended being her very own, she even brought a little onesie that says mini Jenn and told me that’s what I’m gonna be naming my daughter.
Of course, I told her no way I’m not making my daughter after and told her that if it wasn’t the case of her being my sister I would have already cut contact with her, she told me that since she allowed me to date her crush it’s only fair that she gets to pick the name of our first child.
Which I honestly fine beyond ridiculous she didn’t even tell me that she liked the guy I was seeing until I became engaged to him and she also continuously commented on how ugly she thought he was and even if that was the case her logic still doesn’t make sense.
I ended up getting a call from my parent with them commenting on how selfish I am and that I know that my sister will most likely never be able to have children of her own and that I should just give her this one and that I hurt her feelings.
So I gotta ask am I the jerk for not allowing my sister to name my daughter after her?”
21. AITJ For Telling My Grandma She Doesn't Get A Say At My Wedding?
“I (22 F) and my husband (23 M) had a small courthouse elopement so he was able to enlist into the Army as active duty. We have a 9-month-old son together and I’m currently pregnant. We agreed that we would elope, and have a nice ceremony a few years down the line.
That gives us time to save and plan.
Recently I was sitting and talking with my mom about my dress plans and color schemes, and I told her since my husband would be wearing Royal Blue, I don’t want anyone wearing dark colors so it doesn’t seem depressing.
My grandma Vic decided to interrupt with ‘I could help but overhear that you said no dark colors, I’m going to be wearing black or really dark red because they are my favorite.’
I told her I would rather her not, because it would clash and make the wedding seem dark and depressing, and that black isn’t exactly appropriate for a wedding.
She said she already has a dress in mind and that it was the one she had worn to my great-grandpa’s funeral. It’s solid black.
My mom agreed with me at first but when I showed her the dress and venue I had in mind, since we aren’t getting married in a church.
I also mentioned that it was going to be pet free. My grandma again interrupted saying it was too ‘revealing and isn’t appropriate’. She wants me to wear a Victorian-style dress because it will show nothing and the men on my husband’s side won’t think I’m a ‘hussy’ and that I’m ‘straying from God since I refuse to get married in a church’.
I snapped at her and said ‘My wedding, my choice and since you’re not paying for it, I don’t need your opinion. If I want it I’ll ask, so take your outdated ideas and shove it.’ She then said that her princess (as in her dog) should be invited since she’s family.
I told her bluntly that if the dog shows up I will have them both removed since her dog likes to bite people and the dog is always barking because she refuses to get it trained and I don’t need it interrupting the ceremony. This was not the first time she was telling me what to wear, or how it should be.
She got upset, called me a ‘disrespectful ingrate’ and called her dog, and retreated to her room. My mom said she just wants what was best for me and that I should apologize. I reminded her that this isn’t the first time her mother has done this, and if her mother wants to interject her ideas, at least make them one I would actually listen to.
She said I should make amends to keep the peace. So AITJ if I don’t apologize and keep my wedding the way I want?
I’m not trying to be a bridezilla. She has been shoving her ideas down my throat since I told her that I and my husband were engaged.
EDIT: I don’t care what anyone wears, I just don’t want the funeral dress.”
20. AITJ For Blowing Up At My Parents About Their Favoritism Toward My Twin Brother?
“I’ve (17 f) got a twin brother, Mike. We do not get along. In part due to my parents’ favoritism towards him. Our mom is Chinese, our dad only wants one child, and the boy ended up being favored. He’s incredibly spoiled, whereas I was left on the side pretty much my entire life.
Our 17th birthday was on Tuesday. And I’ve now experienced the absolute height of their favoritism. They surprised him, not both of us, HIM, with a surprise party. For our birthday, he received his driving lessons paid for and a 2013 Prius from our parents. I received a card, and a collection of Twilight books, so now I have two collections of the same series, but one is new.
There’s always been a division but this is the biggest it’s ever been.
Yesterday at dinner, he was talking to our parents about the driving lessons, discussing booking them, asking my mom to teach him, etc etc. My parents turned to me and said something to me about saving up for mine.
I’ve never blown up like this before, ever, but I started shouting at them, and my brother, I was saying how if they treated us as equals I wouldn’t have to, that they clearly favor him, and as soon as I do learn to drive I’ll be leaving and never coming back.
They demanded examples of it, and I spat out a load. My mom started crying, and my dad started shouting at me for making my mom cry. My brother said he’s the favorite because I’m a jerk, and I said I don’t care if he’s the favorite, he won’t be when he’s 30 and still living at home.
No one in my family is talking to me, except my brother when he feels like calling me a jerk, and my mom refuses to even look at me, whereas my dad is giving me mean looks all day. Did I go too far? AITJ?”
19. AITJ For Throwing Away My Mother-In-Law's Things She Put In My Bedroom?
“My MIL moved in with me (f 25) and my husband (m 26) a week ago while her house is being renovated. The renovations were being done on the 2nd floor so she had no reason to leave the house but she said the noise makes her anxious.
She didn’t go stay with any of her sons (who have larger homes) but came to stay with us in our one-bedroom apartment. My husband brought her in without even telling me. She brought about 4 huge bags with her and asked if she could put some of her things in my bedroom.
I said absolutely and gave all the sock drawers to keep her things in though I wasn’t feeling comfortable with her barging in all the time and invading my privacy just to grab something of hers.
She started complaining about the lack of storage to put her dresses and makeup in and asked if I could ‘share’ my closet with her but I said no for many reasons, one of them is because I need privacy and my closet is where I keep all of my personal things.
She huffed and puffed but dropped it eventually.
I went to work and got home at 8. I entered my bedroom and noticed something strange. I opened my closet and all my thing were gone, her things like dresses and undergarments, and blouses were hanging and/or folded on the side.
I was so confused I immediately asked her about it and she stood near the door and nonchalantly said she ‘borrowed’ my closet to store her ‘expensive things’ since keeping them in bags or the socks drawers was causing damage. I furiously asked where all my things were.
She pointed at a different cabinet in the living room and said all my clothes were there, and as for the makeup and jewels, they were at the bottom of the kitchen cabinet.
I lost it completely I grabbed all her clothes that were inside my closet and throw them out of the bedroom.
She started yelling and then started looking for her phone to call my husband. I told her that I shouldn’t be basically kicked out of my own space and told her to take her things and leave. My husband came over and started yelling at me saying I was way out of line.
He told me that all his mom asked me was to share but I was being petty for no reason. I told him it was my room and he lashed back saying it was his room too and I was being ridiculous. He then started berating me for telling me to leave but I took my stuff and went to stay with my mom.
He tried to speak to me saying it was me who caused this fight and that he already told me this is all just temporary til his mom’s house is done being renovated. He said my reaction was wrong and made his mom upset. he asked me to let it go and get right with his mom and reach a compromise.
AITJ for how I reacted?”
18. AITJ For Wanting To Go To An Ice Cream Shop?
“My (29) partner (30 m) and I have been together almost 8 years and have lived together for almost 3 years. I also have a child (13 f) from a previous relationship.
He is a type 1 diabetic. He takes two shots of insulin per day, one with breakfast and one with dinner.
This means that he must time the space between meals as well as make sure he is balancing the amount of complex carbs & simple sugars he eats with each meal. This typically does not cause us any issues, as he gets up and eats his first meal of the day between 8 & 9 am, lunch between 11 & 12, and I try to work out what time to have dinner ready so that his blood sugar doesn’t get wonky, so we usually eat around 6/6:30 PM.
When this schedule gets disrupted slightly, a temper tantrum ensues. It doesn’t matter where we are or what we are doing, if we are out with friends or family, it doesn’t even matter if anyone is inconvenienced, if we adhere to his schedule, no temper tantrum happens.
(In the event we are out with friends, he doesn’t throw a fit right then and there in front of them, he waits to lay into me about it when we get home.)
I’ve suggested he brings food with him so that his schedule isn’t disrupted, I’ve said it’s okay if he needs to grab something to eat, but we’re not hungry yet, my daughter and I will just eat when we get home, I’ve even brought small things with us in my purse to hold him over if there is any chance this might happen, but he always acts like I have offended him by doing so, or guilts me about ‘not wanting to sit down and eat as a family.’ We don’t sit and eat as a family; we eat on foldable tables in the living room & watch TV.
We are also not allowed to eat without him unless he is out of town, but he says he’s allowed to eat without us if he needs to ‘get his insulin.’
We are also not allowed to go out for things that he typically cannot have in large amounts, like ice cream.
If we do go out and get ice cream, or donuts, or if we order anything like pancakes for breakfast, he makes comments like ‘You two should have diabetes, not me.’ These comments are hurtful.
Today I snapped at him. We wanted to go to the ice cream shop that’s downtown that has diabetic-friendly, gluten-free, vegan, etc. options.
He became angry and again started calling me selfish because he ‘already had his simple sugars with dinner.’ I mentioned the diabetic-friendly options, and he got even madder and called me selfish for even saying that, so I snapped back, ‘I am not responsible for anything that has to do with your diabetes outside of knowing the signs of low/high blood sugar & being prepared and knowing what to do in those situations.
Everything else is YOUR PROBLEM.’
He went quiet and left. I don’t want him to feel left out or think we don’t care, but I feel like he is punishing us just because he has a disability. AITJ?
ETA: I’m just going to clarify what I meant by we’re ‘not allowed to eat’.
We can snack and eat whatever all day, but when it comes to dinner, for some reason it upsets him if we start to eat our food without him. If he starts to eat without us and I say something, the insulin excuse is used. Every.
Time.
I also want to add that none of these behaviors are exhibited in front of or to my daughter. They are only directed at me.”
17. AITJ For Not Wanting To Go Out With A Sober Heavy Drinker?
“I have a ‘friend’ who is sober by choice. She pressured me to drink when we were underage which I wasn’t comfortable with for a number of reasons.
She’s flipped and mocks/judges me very harshly when I drink now. We’re in our mid-20s. I cook with wine at least once every few weeks and will have a glass or two when I do that. I also enjoy going to tastings once every couple of months and having a cocktail at parties.
As it’s been sunny I’ve been having a glass of wine or sangria a little more frequently because the neighbors and I hang out on the porch.
The conversation was focused on relationships. It was my ‘friend’ and another gal who, at the time of the conversation, I didn’t know very well.
My ‘friend’ asked something along the lines of ‘Would you date someone who is sober?’ (this question was only posed to me as I was, and am still the only single one). I started to respond that ‘I wouldn’t want to date someone who has drastically different drinking/eating habits than me’ but was cut off by my friend.
She started telling me how ‘shallow’ and ‘jerky’ I was for not being open to going out with a sober person and even called me/my family drinking addicts.
I tried to further explain my thinking, which is that I want to date someone who has fairly similar dietary wants/needs to me.
I love to cook and I’m pretty adventurous when it comes to new recipes. Making things/taking care of people is like a love language for me. If I need to accommodate a different diet, like gluten-free or vegan or lactose-intolerant, or sober, I’m capable and happy to do so from time to time.
But I wouldn’t necessarily feel comfortable going out with someone that my home could be a hazard for or that I would need to reconfigure my home for.
This ‘friend’ brought someone who is sober over (without letting me know the individual was sober, and fairly freshly so) and screamed me out for having a bottle of wine out on the counter (I’d made spaghetti the night before).
In my mind, if I was to date a sober drinking addict I would have to remove/cease stocking liquor in my home. This is the same thinking I have for vegans or those with allergies.
My ‘friend’ still said I was completely out of line and selfish not to give sober people a chance.
I guess now that I’ve sat on it this long I’m wondering if I really am the jerk?
Edit: I know she’s not my friend, but I’ve known her so long I don’t know what else to call her. Also, she is married to a man, so I really hope she not crushing cause her husband is the sweetest dude.”
16. AITJ For Evicting My Late Ex-Husband's Wife?
“Me (F) and my ex-husband Dan (M) were married for 15 years and we didn’t end on good terms (he had an affair).
Our relationship has always had ups and downs after the divorce but came to NC after he married his wife Lily (F). One of the main reasons is that she always treated our disabled son badly and Dan didn’t seem to mind that, which was a watershed in our relationship (friends).
And for the last few years of Dan’s life, he pretended he didn’t have our son and lived life as if he only had his daughter with his wife (the perfectly healthy one – yes, he told me that to my face).
He and I got together and worked hard to build his clinic and in the divorce, we decided that the clinic would be in our son’s name, but with his and my lifetime use.
I don’t work at the clinic and I don’t get anything for my part, but I know that Lily has her clinic in the same place with the equipment.
Dan passed away 6 months ago and with his death, I became the only one with lifetime use.
His wife apparently didn’t know that the clinic was in my son’s name and with usufruct for me, which generated a huge discussion of her wanting to demand her rights over (she doesn’t have it by the laws of my country and neither does her daughter).
She wasn’t paying rent for me and it got to a point in this discussion that I got in with a lawyer and asked her to leave the clinic because the only person with us and the owner (represented by me) no longer wanted her there.
They gave her eviction notice and since then she and her family have been going off at me saying I was being vindictive about their relationship and that it was cruel to take away from her the place she created her name.
This made me rethink a little, but why would I keep a person who never added me and always treated my disabled child so badly?
AITJ?”
15. AITJ For Being Mad At My Dad For Selling My Business Behind My Back?
“Last year, my uncle who runs his own business on the side convinced my dad to do the same. I said no to my uncle when he approached me initially as I appreciated how difficult it would be to start and run a company.
My father, rather naively, bought into what my uncle was proposing but only on the condition that I joined him in a joint partnership. We both have full-time jobs at the same time.
So a few months pass, and I’m taking on most of the responsibility of the day-to-day running of the business (managing suppliers, customers, all the books, etc) and my dad sometimes does the deliveries.
He becomes increasingly frustrated as he feels that I don’t pull my weight and drag my heels in making decisions (which I dispute) and then blows up one day, walking away from the business entirely. I don’t try to mend the divide as I was essentially running the show up until that point, so I carry on.
This leads us to now. I recently secured a promotion at work (my day job) which will have unsociable hours attached and therefore mean I will not be able to run this business on my own. I was mulling over options as to selling the business or transferring full ownership to my father but hadn’t yet discussed this with anyone.
Today I learned that my dad had called my uncle, told him he’d walked away, and that I needed to sell my business because I’d secured a promotion, all behind my back. My uncle now wants to buy my business. I confronted my father who is confused as to why I’m annoyed about this.
I’m just angry that he’s going behind my back without even talking to me about it first.”
14. AITJ For Proving To Someone That I Am A Mother?
“I (23 F) work in the store with the blue vests and the yellow flower. My voice is that of a 13-year-old girl to be honest, which I suspect played a part in this mess.
I had my son 3 months ago, and am currently breastfeeding. As such, I have to periodically pump during my shift. To do so, I use the Mother’s Room. It’s got a comfy chair and an outlet for my pump. Towards the end of my lunch today, I had gone to the mother’s room, with my pump in a bag.
I locked the door and proceeded to pump. When I’m about halfway through, I hear some angry knocking on the door and jiggling off the handle. I say ‘Occupied!’ and continued pumping.
Then I hear a woman’s voice saying, ‘This is not a place for your break!
I need to change my baby!’
To which I respond ‘I’m not using it for my break! There are changing tables in the restrooms you can use!’
She got mad and started hitting the door and jiggling the lock again, and I hear her baby start to cry.
‘I don’t want other people seeing my baby’s bottom, get out of there! It’s a mother’s room, not a break room!’ I ignore her because I have no interest in leaking through my shirt and vest. Mind you, it takes me about 20 minutes to pump, clean up, and bag my milk.
This lady stayed at the door, yelling at me, for like 10 minutes! I would know, because my pump has a timer on it!
At some point I don’t hear the baby crying anymore, so I assume she took her baby into the private family bathroom to change.
As I’m wrapping up, I hear her again. ‘I had to change my baby in the bathroom thanks to you! That room is for MOTHERS, not for lazy teenagers!’
I’ve just about had it with her. I finish, clean up, and open the door.
‘Ok, first off, I’m 23. Secondly,’ I hold up my bag of milk. ‘I AM a mother. And I can’t do this in the bathroom.’
She turned bright red and huffed off, saying something about a manager. I’m expecting a scolding in about an hour or so now, so I was just wondering.
Am I the jerk?”
13. AITJ For Not Cooking Dinner For My Stepmom And Her Guests?
“My dad (16 M) married my stepmom just about a year ago. She didn’t want me to live here and wanted me gone. I’ve insisted that I should stay as I don’t want to live with my mom (her husband is a piece of work…) so we’re always clashing.
She announced last month that she wouldn’t allow me to eat anything she cooks, or cook anything that she buys and I should arrange my own food completely separately (down to the ingredient level, including salt!) because I’m not her problem to deal with. This is annoying but anyway, I can handle it and I didn’t want to act entitled so I started buying and cooking my own food.
We’ve been going like this since then.
Her sister had an accident a few days ago and on the day of the accident step mother texted me in the afternoon saying she was bringing the sister’s children over and they’ll arrive around midnight, asked me to buy groceries and snacks and make a late dinner for them.
I never replied to her and didn’t do anything. I have to say that while for a few hours, it didn’t look good for her sister, and had to go into surgery it ended up being successful and she will thankfully make a full recovery.
They came, she noticed there was no food and they indeed were hungry so she was angry at me and I told her that it’s not my problem to deal with… and she said I’m being a jerk and I said takes one to know one.
She ended up ordering pizza.
My dad told me that I was out of line and I should have just done what she wanted me to do because it was an emergency, and I should have done a favor for her and it would have gone a long way to improve our relationship.
I told him that our relationship has always been hopeless because she hated me for no reason so there’s nothing I can do that can make her hate me any less and at this point, I’ve accepted it and don’t care anymore. He said it’s not true and I’m now grounded.”
12. AITJ For Not Putting Up Photos Of My Stepfamily At My Home?
“I (19 m) live with a group of friends while we’re going to college or doing apprenticeships. We just secured the place to call ours for now and we’ve all got our corners with personal stuff, like photos. My dad stopped by to see the place and was not happy to see that, of the photos I put up, none show my stepfamily is here.
I have photos from when my mom was alive, and a couple from after when it was just my dad, siblings, and I. But I didn’t take any of the stepfamily ones from more recent years.
I was 9 when I lost my mom. My siblings were 8 and 7.
Dad met his wife 18 months later and they got married after six months of being together. She came with three of her own kids and then she and my dad had two more kids together. The honest truth is I, personally, would have preferred for it to stay just us.
I am happy my dad is happy. But I don’t love and accept my family as family. They’re fine. Nothing against them generally. Just… my family will always be my mom, dad, and siblings. And my future wife and kids (hopefully). I know stepfamilies can be just as good, etc. It’s just not what I want for my family.
I’ll never be an outright jerk to them, I would never make the biggest deal out of it. But my priority will always be my original nuclear family, the ones I love. This is something that was discussed a lot because when my dad first got married, I spoke out about wanting to be able to spend time with just my siblings without my step or half-siblings, or with just my dad and not his wife.
So this isn’t some huge bombshell that I feel this way.
But my dad said he believed I would still treasure some photos of all of us and would hold some of them dear enough to use so that where I stay is a safe space for the whole family to visit.
He said the way it is now, they would know within seconds of seeing no trace of them in my new home and that I am a jerk for that. He asked what would have happened if they had dropped by without any notice, with the kids.
I told him I hope he would call first to make sure it was okay, especially when I don’t live alone.
It’s been several weeks now and my dad keeps saying I won’t be in the right or a good guy until I add some photos that represent my family as it is currently, and get with the picture that being an adult means faking it for the sake of kids.
AITJ?”
11. WIBTJ For Letting My Coworker Become Homeless?
“So I (F 23) have a coworker who I’ll call Sandy (F 50s). Over the past half year, she has had a rough time. She recently escaped a bad relationship, and only because he is going to federal prison. She has struggled with severe health issues and has been to the ER multiple times.
At one point her illness caused her to miss almost a month of work. Sandy hasn’t had a consistent place to stay for as long as I’ve worked at my job. Instead, she has lived at motels, or more recently, another coworker’s place. Our job pays very little, so it doesn’t surprise me that she hasn’t been able to get on her feet.
Because of all of this, I agreed to give her a ride every day to and from work. I’ve done so for months because it felt like the right thing to do. But today I got a text from Sandy begging to stay with me for the next two weeks.
Our coworker is suddenly kicking her out, and she has no place to stay.
Honestly, I want to say no. I don’t believe that she would only need two weeks. Instead, I could see this lasting for months, especially if I asked for rent. My husband is deployed overseas, and I have no friends or family nearby, so I worry that I could be unsafe.
I have two cats who are really anxious, so they would spend that time largely hiding. Plus, I am a very introverted person, and the idea of sharing a space with a coworker makes me feel extremely stressed.
All of that being said, I think I could be a jerk for saying no. No one deserves to be homeless, and generally Sandy has been very polite and kind.
I know that she recently started a second job, and she seems to be trying to turn things around. There are very few resources for homeless people in our area, and it has some fairly high crime rates. I don’t know if any other coworkers would be willing to let her stay with them.
So, WIBTJ if I told Sandy that she couldn’t stay with me, and in the process, let her become homeless?”
10. AITJ For Not Wanting To Get A Pedicure?
“My wife and I went to a pool party this past weekend. I wore the usual light clothing, shorts, etc… and flip flops & had a change of clothes for the water plus the after-dinner hour.
We got there, socialized, etc… before getting into the water.
My wife pulled me aside and asked me why my feet look like they do. My heels are cracked & I have huge callouses. They look like pizza crusts she said. I’m embarrassing her and it looks like I don’t wash my feet.
I replied that in fact, I do wash my feet, every day actually so it’s not a hygiene problem.
I admit my feet are not pretty. I think I have typical guy’s feet. I’m on my feet aplenty, I do a fair amount of manual labor in my yard, often barefoot.
I’m barefoot indoors/outdoors often from spring to fall. But I don’t really care as long as they don’t smell or have visible dirt on them. Frankly, I’ve never given their appearance a second thought and her reaction was a surprise.
My wife said my feet are visible from across the room and it’s embarrassing her.
She carried on so much that I got mad and said I’m not bothered. I’d like to rejoin the party instead of hearing you hiss at me about my feet. We are here now, so ignore it, and let’s try to enjoy ourselves, ok? She said that it’s easy for me to say but she is sure at least all the women present have noticed my feet and she is embarrassed she’s in public with my ogre feet.
Things cooled off a bit and in the next days, I let her take a whack at my feet with this grindstone she uses on hers. It barely made a dent & she got tired. I had the idea to get my random orbit sander for woodworking and with some fine-grain sandpaper, we actually knocked the heels & callouses down to where a majority of the cracks disappeared. The amount of resulting sawdust (skin dust?) was remarkable.
Lotion made them softer. Not perfect but much better.
Now she wants me to come with her for a pedicure. I put my foot down (pun intended). I said we can lotion my feet, grind them too but I will not step foot in a nail salon.
After the party, I listened to you and now my feet look noticeably better. I’ve never used lotion on my feet in my life and now you want me in a salon? Be happy with the progress you’ve accomplished but a pedicure is out of the question.
She wants this to become my routine. I don’t feel comfortable getting my feet done. I don’t want to spend $50 every 2 weeks, it’s just an unnecessary expense. I can do some foot self-care from here on at home, in my opinion, this is reasonable. I think I’ve compromised enough for my wife & she should be happy with the very visible gains on my feet, in my opinion.”
9. AITJ For Yelling At My Significant Other For Making My Little Sister Cry?
“I (m 23) have a younger sister Paige (f 15).
Our parents weren’t the best parents for many reasons, but I ended up having to be a stand-in parent for Paige and taking on a lot of responsibilities.
It isn’t the best circumstances but Paige and I have a very close relationship as a result of it.
My sister is a good kid despite our crappy parents.
Paige still lives with our parents but I’m the one who takes her to and picks her up from school every day (because they certainly won’t do it), and she spends a lot of time at my apartment.
She also occasionally sleeps over on weekends.
I have a significant other Jackie (f 23) who I’ve been seeing for around 3 months. We were good friends in high school and reconnected after college.
Jackie was aware of my family situation before we started going out, but it’s caused a lot of problems.
Whenever I leave to go take Paige to school or take her home from school, Jackie gets visibly annoyed about it. She’s made multiple ‘jokes’ where she’ll say that I should just make Paige walk (we don’t live in America so the schools don’t have their own buses).
At first, Jackie didn’t seem to mind Paige being around my apartment but started making Paige feel very unwelcome by making not-very subtle comments like ‘Shouldn’t you be at your own house?’
I’ve tried to talk to Jackie about this multiple times so we can solve the issue but each time I’ve brought it up she gets defensive and swears that she doesn’t have a problem with Paige.
A few days ago, it caused a massive argument between us and I’m considering breaking up with Jackie over this.
Whilst I was watching a movie with Jackie at my place, I got a phone call from Paige’s school, she was feeling unwell and the nurse called me to say Paige needs to go home (my parents weren’t answering their phones).
I explained it to Jackie and said I’m going to go pick Paige up. She seemed very annoyed but I’m just looking out for my sister.
I drove to the school, picked Paige up, and drove her back to my apartment.
I remembered I had an errand to run so I told Jackie I’d be going again, and asked if she wanted to come.
She refused and seemed really irritated. I decided I’d talk to her once I got back.
When I got back, Paige was crying and Jackie was in the bedroom with the door closed.
I asked what happened and Paige said that she accused her of manipulating me, screamed at her, and cussed her out.
I was mortified.
I knocked on the bedroom door and told Jackie we need to talk. Jackie opened the door and said that Paige is a brat and that my SO needs my attention too. I lost my temper and yelled at Jackie for speaking about my sister like that and told her to leave.
Jackie screamed at me as she was leaving.
We haven’t spoken since and Jackie’s friends are blowing up my phone telling me I’m a terrible partner.”
8. WIBTJ If I Sent My Daughter Back To My Parents And Ban Her From My House?
“I (37 F) had my (16 F) daughter while still in college. My parents felt I was too young and too broke to raise her so they raised her.
They took on the roles of her parents and her father has never been in the picture so I was grateful and although she knows I’m her mother, she sees me as a sister. I try my best to make sure she lives comfortably and has everything she needs but really, there’s only so much I can do since my parents are capable enough and I appreciate them.
The conflict started when she came to stay over at my place two weeks ago to try and bond as mother and daughter. I’ll be honest, I’ve always wanted this but she didn’t, she only came because my parents asked her to. She’s a darling for the most part but she leaves every appliance she uses on.
If she enters a room and turns on the lights, she will leave it on too. It’s quite irritating and I tried to talk to her about it. She laughed it off every time and told stories about her bad memory and what she forgot to turn off at so and so’s house.
Part of me thinks she’s doing it to vex me.
I honestly have no problem turning lights off when she leaves rooms but my house is never lacking in kids. I have none myself apart from my daughter but my friends and neighbors often drop theirs over for me to watch them and I love them.
Yesterday, my daughter went out with friends and left the electric iron on and I only found out when my neighbor’s kid ( (F 10) told me the iron is hot. Needless to say, I was furious. I went off on my daughter when she came back and reminded her that kids like to poke at sockets and the iron could have caused an injury.
Besides, it’s a fire hazard. She said ok, sorry, and she would try to remember, only to leave it on again this morning.
The plan was to stay for two months and it’s only been two weeks but I’m reconsidering it. My friend thinks sending her back will blow up the only chance at bonding.
So will I be the jerk if I sent her back to my parents and banned her from my house regardless?”
Your friend is right... it WILL now up any chance of bonding and the next time parents ask her to come she's gonna tell them.. what's the point she's too busy woth other people's kids to spend time with me so why should i bother... youneed to learn from this the right way.. tell friends sorry bit i need to make her the main person, i need to be available for HER alone be able to take her out shopping etc without having other kids there and make this about her cos tbh you OWE her more than 2 months of your time seeing how she has spent 17YRS and is still spending with your parents.. plenty of young mums do college and raise their own kid
7. AITJ For Telling My Wife I Won't Be Confronting My Mother Regarding Her Double Standards Toward Her Children?
“My mom hates to be touched. I’m not exaggerating when I say she once injured herself trying to get away from a hug. She was always affectionate with me growing up, but it stopped at a certain age and now she recoils if I am even near her.
I can even see her tense in our wedding pictures probably because people were standing close to her.
I have two beautiful children (2 and 6 months) and my mom has always declined to hold them. She claims she just can’t stand the feeling of being touched. My 2-year-old is currently grabby and we are working on boundaries, but my mom will physically remove herself to make sure she isn’t touched. My wife doesn’t like it but has never said much.
The issue is my mom has a new partner and she is all over him. They are really pushing it into being gross. We recently visited them and spent a good chunk of the day there. My wife was furious on the way home and said my mom has clearly been lying to us and snubbing our children.
I said it is a new relationship and maybe normal. She pointed out how affectionate she was with my dad, and again I defended my mom and said maybe romantic relationships are just different to her.
My wife was heated the entire car ride. When we got home she asked me to confront my mom about her ‘double standard’ as she is worried it will negatively impact our children.
I said it isn’t as if my mom is treating one child better than the other, and she doesn’t owe anyone unwanted touches. I said I would not be confronting her, and my wife got mad at me and said I was choosing my ‘pretentious jerk’ mother over our children and this could hurt them emotionally.”
6. AITJ For Telling My Friend I Will Be Wearing At Suit At Her Wedding Whether She Likes It Or Not?
“I (18 male) am a transgender. I used to be a girl.
My friend is getting married soon and wants me to be there. I said I would love to come and can’t wait! I sent them a picture of what I would be wearing and his fiancé came back and told me that I can’t wear a suit and tie to her wedding.
At first, I assumed she meant that they wanted the men to be in tuxedos, so I asked her what color she wanted as I don’t own one and don’t want to buy something for me to not be able to wear it.
She didn’t come back.
I waited about a week and texted her again. She finally replied and said that it wasn’t that I needed to wear a tux it was that I wasn’t allowed to wear a suit. I was a bit confused about this and asked her what she wanted me to wear.
I wasn’t sure if it was one of those casual weddings. She came back and said that she wants the women to wear dresses. I presumed she thought I was coming with a significant other and so I told her I’m not with anyone so it will just be me.
She then replied with this: are you thick or something?! You! I was talking about you! You are a girl whether you like it or not! You will be wearing a dress to my wedding or you will not be coming!
I was very hurt by this and contacted my friend they said that they have talked to her already and they want to please her so just this once do you mind sucking it up?
I told him that I am a boy, I identify as a boy, and so I will dress like a boy. His fiancé messaged me and told me that she saw what I had said and why do I have to make this such a big deal. It’s one day!
I said I’m a boy so I will be wearing a suit end of. She told me not to come but I want to see my friend get married and he wants me there so I will be going in a suit if she likes it or not.
So, AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Giving My Partner Sock Puppets As A Birthday Gift?
“I (27 M) and my partner (23 F) have been together for 3 years, and before her, I have not had a lot of relationship experience, and this is the first (and hopefully only) long-term relationship I have ever had.
Her birthday was Saturday, but I’m in graduate school right now (midterms) so I didn’t have a lot of time to go shopping. I had been thinking about what to get her for a while and browsing Amazon but nothing really stood out to me.
Then I remembered around 6 months ago she sent me a video of this guy on TikTok who was doing ventriloquism to mess with people (like delaying/echoing his voice) and she told me she thought it was really cool and she wished she could learn how to do that to mess with people.
So I had the brilliant idea to get her some sock puppets off of Amazon so she could maybe start to learn some ventriloquism. These weren’t some cheap or ugly sock puppets either, I did a lot of research and I got her something nice.
I was really proud of my gift and I was really excited to give it to her at her birthday party on Saturday. When she opened her present, her face fell and an awkward silence fell over her family. She gave me an awkward smile and her family started passing them around to look at them.
I tried to explain my reasoning and I got some dirty looks from them. A few of them started piping up and making jokes to lighten the mood.
When we got home she was really upset and apparently, she was dropping hints that she wanted a bracelet or necklace with my birthstone but I completely missed them.
Her dad texted me the next day to give me a talking to and that next time he’s going shopping with me because I really embarrassed her. Her uncle thinks it’s hilarious and keeps sending me memes on social media about it.
I talked to my dad and he agrees that it was a very sweet and thoughtful gift and that she shouldn’t be upset because she didn’t tell me exactly what she wanted. But my mom and stepdad said that it was a stupid gift and gave me pointers for what to get next time.
She’s still kind of upset but she’s started making jokes about it at least. She wants me to return them and get something else but I still stand by the fact that I thought it was a good and thoughtful gift.
So, AITJ?”
4. AITJ For Not Paying For My Date's Drinks?
“A girl who I recently met online and I went to a brewery for drinks for a second date. The date was going well (or so I thought), great conversation, and we both ordered several beers.
I always get a little nervous on the first couple of dates so I was drinking a lot of water, so I excused myself to use the restroom and said I’d be right back.
I was gone a couple of minutes and got back, and the girl is gone. I check my phone, but nothing. I went to text her, thinking it must have been an emergency but saw she had blocked me and unmatched me on the app.
I couldn’t think of anything I did or said that would make her walk out like that. This stung a little bit so I admit it put me in a generally bad mood and I might not have been thinking rationally.
The thing is, on our first date she mentioned how she always splits the bill.
So I went into this ordering kinda expense drinks (like $8 for a beer) expecting I would only have to pay for mine. Well, the bartender brought the bill and it was $60 before tip which is a lot for me. I told the bartender what had happened and said I wanted to only pay for my drinks.
The bartender seemed apologetic but said I had to pay for the whole thing, it wasn’t his problem. I said sorry, handed him two $20s (which covered my drinks and a generous tip), and walked out.
I realize I might be the jerk because it wasn’t the bartender’s or the brewery’s fault.
As I said, I was angry and maybe not thinking straight. But I genuinely don’t feel bad about it. There was an understanding the girl would pay for her drinks, so why is that my fault? She pulled a scam, but since she was the one ordering her own drinks, I’m not responsible for the consequences of this scam.
I figure businesses write this kind of loss into their budget somewhere, and I’d rather the business takes a hit instead of me. Technically I had enough money in my wallet to pay for the whole bill. I just didn’t want to because it didn’t seem fair, and $30 isn’t nothing to me either.
As I was walking home I realized I might have screwed the bartender, but I did leave a good tip on my drinks, and they presumably have a way of dealing with walkouts since I’m sure it happens. And if nothing else, it was the girl that screwed them, not me.
AITJ?
Edit: I was not expecting her to pay exactly half, just for the drinks she drank. We were both having expensive drinks so it would have been roughly half.”
3. AITJ For Being Mad At My Wife After She Called Me A Momma's Boy?
“My wife (f 25) and I (m 27) are expecting a baby boy. So far we’ve had no disagreements except for the name choice. She wants to name our son after her grandfather but I want to name him after my deceased stepdad because he was such a great man who had done so much for me
We went back and forth on the issue and she then suggested we blend the name but I found that insulting because it just ruined the idea of honoring my stepdad and also ruined the the name itself. A huge argument ensued because of that and she went into the bedroom and shut the door harshly.
I was pretty upset and irritated I went inside the kitchen and called my mom because I needed to rant to somebody.
While I was on the phone I saw my wife walking in with a small bag in her hand because she wanted to go stay with her mom for a few days.
She saw me on the phone with Mom and was like ‘Oh… a momma’s boy!’. I had to say goodbye to Mom then I snapped and called my wife a hypocrite and told her ‘If a 5-minute phone conversation with mom makes a momma’s boy, then packing to go stay with your mom for days makes you what?’
She got upset and started lecturing me to stop getting mom involved in our issues and told me that if my mom tries to call her to ‘scold’ her then she’ll have a harsh response for her. I told her she was wrong because I was just venting as I always do about anything and needed someone to talk to.
She said that calling her a hypocrite was awful of me then walked out.
I tried to call her later thinking she has calmed down but she hasn’t responded yet.
AITJ? I was just trying to get her to see how she was berating me for doing someone that has no problem doing but she said needed space.”
DUDE she is growing a whole person in her body... its exhausting.. on top of that you and she were having a discussion about YOUR KIDS name and had a disagreement over it and she wanted space cos you called her idea of a blended name STUPID.. did she mean as in stepdads name first with grandpas as a middle name or vice versa or did she mean a daft made up 'unique' name that isn't a name at all?? Did you ask her for an example??
So yeah instead of ringing mom ring a friend keep mom out your marriage unless you fancy child support payments visitation rights and DIVORCE... GROW UP DUDE time to cut the strings to mommy's apron
2. AITJ For Not Buying My Overweight Son A Car?
“I have 3 kids, 16 (girl), 19 (boy), and 24 (boy). I raised them to be fit and healthy but sadly my 19-year-old son gained a lot of weight after leaving secondary school with bad grades and he struggled to keep a job. He is not hugely overweight but it is upsetting to me as I was always careful with their food and taught them to make healthy choices.
I bought my 24-year-old son a car for his 20th birthday and I promised to do the same for the 19-year-old but only if he was able to lose weight and keep a job. He claimed these conditions were unfair because the 24-year-old didn’t have to do anything for the car, but he kept himself fit and moved out of my house at 18 so he was not a financial drain on me at the time.
He accepted the conditions in the end.
The reason I added a weight loss requirement for the car is just for extra motivation for him. He is 5’11 and 210 lbs, I know he is not morbidly obese but it is awful seeing him gain all this weight when he used to be so skinny.
He hates his appearance and wants a significant other but he is not confident. Maybe this is not PC these days, but I don’t believe in body positivity and I think if you’re overweight you need to lose weight as soon as possible. I’m worried he will develop a food addiction and get even bigger.
The car will make him walk less and make fast food even more accessible and that is the last thing he needs.
Anyway this was 6 months ago and his birthday is next month. The attempts to lose weight don’t last long and I think he is down 10lbs at most. However he has managed to get and keep a job for the last 3 months which is great, but it’s still not very long and he is still lazy, playing video games and eating too much.
I told him last night I wasn’t going to get him the car for his birthday, but he could maybe have the car in another 6 months if he managed to put serious effort into fixing his weight problem and being more healthy, and managed to keep the job.
He was very upset with me and locked himself in his room. He feels that the 24-year-old is the ‘favorite’ and he is treated unfairly. This is not true, but unfortunately, the 24-year-old has a substance problem and I’ve had to bail him out of situations and sent him to rehab twice.
This is very expensive but rehab was a life or death thing, a car isn’t. He said that I think ‘being a crackhead is fine, but being fat isn’t’ but that isn’t true at all, I care about both of their health, and being fat will cause serious health problems in the future too.
AITJ here? I feel bad for upsetting him but at this moment I think a car would do more harm than good, he hasn’t stuck to the conditions we agreed on and improved his unhealthy lifestyle.
EDIT: Clarifying a few things
• I have asked him about therapy, but he is not interested.
• At the time I bought the 24-year-old the car, I was not aware of his substance problem and he was employed.
• My concern with obesity and body positivity is about HEALTH I don’t think fat people should hate themselves.”
1. AITJ For Being Angry At My Ex For Leaving our Daughter With His New Partner?
“I (F 33) have been divorced from my husband (M 34) for a little over a year. It’s been rough, we were childhood best friends who thought we’d be together forever. This might be dramatic but I’m quite frankly traumatized from the divorce which might be clouding my judgment.
Anyways, I picked up our three-year-old daughter from his house yesterday and got some… interesting news today.
During lunch, she told me that on Saturday she and Daddy’s partner watched Cinderella. I had no idea he was seeing someone again but I calmly responded with, ‘Oh?
What’s her name?’ And she responded with, ‘Miss Sheila.’
Sheila is a woman who works with my ex and who has always been a major point of contention between my ex and me when we were married. She’s always had a crush on him and would go out of her way to antagonize me whenever I showed up to work-related events with him.
I’m pretty sure she despises me. After finding this out I texted my ex essentially asking why he would let someone who hates me babysit our daughter. He responded with, ‘What are you talking about?’ And we went back and forth until he admitted that yes, Sheila watched her but she doesn’t hate me.
Now, this might be where I’m the jerk. I told him that this was a complete violation of our custody agreement (him not informing me of who’s taking care of our daughter) and if he does it again I’ll take him to court.
He responded with, ‘Chill I was in my office and they were in the living room.’ And I told him that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and he’s just like his father.
For context: his father is addicted to gambling and never raised my ex.
My ex called me asking how dare I say that and asking what my issue was and I told him to get lost. Am I the jerk for the way I handled this situation?”
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