People Await Our Judgment On Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
33. AITJ For Refusing To Convince Our Neighbor To Let My Wife Use Her Parking Space?
“My wife and I moved into an apartment complex in mid-2020. Each apartment has its allotted parking spaces (1-2 spaces) & they can’t be negotiated. Our apartment only has 1 space.
We noticed that one of the spaces (easiest to drive in/out of, closest to garage door&elevator, right next to the curb & is covered while nearly all the rest of the parking is open air) had 2-3 cars alternate parking there, so my wife asked about it & the girl Amy, in apartment #39 (owner of said space) was an international student who freed up the space when she went to work during term break.
She didn’t care who used the space as long as she got it back during her schooling.
Due to the global crisis, she hadn’t been able to return for a while, & at that time my wife had a baby. The autumn/winter was really wet so the neighbors kindly offered space #39 so my wife could park there with our newborn.
Eventually, it just became my wife’s parking space.
So the issue is Amy came back while we were away for a long weekend & we took my wife’s car, so obviously when we came back there was a car parked, but at the time we didn’t know it was Amy.
I told my wife to just park outside the gated parking lot, that the car will most likely be gone by morning. But it wasn’t & my wife said she never saw the spot empty for the first 3 weeks.
Once my wife got to park in Amy’s spot & refused to drive her car for 4 days because she’d ‘lose the spot!’
About a week after that, I met Amy getting out of her car.
Remembering what the neighbors had said, I apologized for using her space and said I’d pass the message on to my wife. Amy asked if that was where the notes had been coming from and seeing my confused face, said ‘I’ll show you’.
My wife had been leaving rude notes on the windshield, wanting to get Amy’s car towed for parking illegally and she was disrupting a young family’s routine, but she gave no name or apartment # so Amy had no idea who wrote them.
I only knew of this when Amy handed me a stack of them. I saw my wife’s writing & my face must have made it obvious, coz Amy then said ‘Look I know you have a young kid, but you got free rein when he was a little baby & it’s the only space I have, you’re gonna have to park your second car where the others do.’
I showed my wife the notes, & she just said that she had been using the space for over a year & it should be deemed hers over a part-time resident, and had a right to fight for it.
I didn’t agree as Amy legally owns it, & told her to just use our original space from now on, I’d park outside. My wife got this very sour look & told me I don’t care about my son’s well-being & shouldn’t be taking Amy’s side.
My wife wants me to negotiate with Amy, but I think that’s dumb as her space literally has her apartment # painted on it, it’s her space. I told my wife it might suck having to park a car outside in the rain, but the spaces aren’t trading cards, they’re painted with their corresponding apartment #. Things have been tense since. AITJ?”
32. AITJ For Telling My Husband To Return The Funds He's Been Taking From My Sister?
“My (f30) sister (f23) is disabled, she can’t work because of her immobility but receives benefits (SSDI) due to her disability. She used to live with our mom who passed away 8 months ago. It’d been hard for us, I took my sister in to live with me and my husband.
Note that my husband doesn’t take any part of her care whatsoever, moreover, he started complaining about my sister from time to time. She can not get her own place and I would NEVER, and I repeat NEVER ever put her in a care home.
I work and take care of her and it’s been going well for us.
My husband is the one who usually handles her financials because he’s an accountant. I recently noticed that her benefits weren’t enough to buy her essential stuff like medical equipment.
I didn’t mind much about it til I decided to do the math and found hundreds going missing without an explanation. I talked to my sister and she kept implying that my husband had something to do with it til she finally admitted that he’d been collecting ‘rent money’ from her and told her to keep it a secret from me.
I was floored… utterly in shock. I called him and had him come home for a confrontation.
He first denied it then said that it was logical because my sister is an adult living under our roof and so she’s expected to pay rent.
I screamed my head off on him telling him how messed up that was because she’s disabled! And this money was supposed to go to her care, and more importantly, he shouldn’t have ever touched her money. I demanded he pay back all the amount he took from her over the past months, he threw a fit saying it’s his house and he gets to say who stays for free and who has to pay.
I told him he had to pay it all back or the police would have to get involved. He looked shocked at the mention of police and rushed out.
He tried to talk me out of making him pay but I gave him a set time and told him I’m serious.”
31. AITJ For Not Leashing My Dog?
“This happened in Germany. My dog is a 12-year-old, small to middle-sized dog. The part where this happened is a walking/bicycle trail going along a river. There are no signs indicating to leash your dog. There is another bicycle lane about 30 meters parallel to this one next to the street.
In between there is just grass, trees, and stuff.
Now the story: I was walking my dog along the trail next to the river. He was walking off leash (that’s allowed here, almost every dog on this trail isn’t on leash). I’m always looking out for him and calling him to me when I see bikers approaching.
As I was walking I looked over my shoulder to see a man (40-50ish) riding his bike really fast towards us. I call my dog to me but unfortunately, he’s too slow and the biker has to break really hard to not hit him.
Behind this guy was a younger couple, around my age (mid-20s) riding their bikes in a much slower way. This old guy stops his bike and starts yelling at me ‘Leash your stupid dog’ and stuff like that. But the younger guy immediately backed me up and said ‘You don’t need to speed’ to which I replied ‘Yeah there’s literally a bike lane over there where you can ride as fast as you want.
Besides dogs, there are families with little children walking here as well.’ This guy didn’t want to hear anything about it and was just grumbling something about ‘Respect your elders blah blah’.
I just replied ‘Yeah no, I don’t have respect for mean old guys’, thanked the young couple, and went on my way.
After telling my mom about this she got angry and said I was a jerk and should have just kept my dog on a leash.
EDIT FOR CONTEXT: The area this took place was not a street, not an only-bike lane, it’s called a shared lane. In Bavaria there are no on-leash laws, if you need to leash your dog there are clear signs for this.”
30. AITJ For Getting Mad At My Friend For Calling Herself Poor?
“I (18F) have been friends with Raya (18F) since we were 14. Ever since our friendship started, Raya has always told me that she is poor and that I’m so lucky I’m rich.
For context, I am not rich. I am far from it.
Many times throughout my life, I’ve had to use my personal allowance to buy food for myself and my sister, I’ve had to help out with the bills and I’ve generally been short on money. I never picked her up on it though as I didn’t want to start an argument
The first time I went over to her house, I could tell that she was definitely not poor.
Despite knowing that she has never been short on food or had to help with the bills or been forced into a job, I never made assumptions about her financial situation until I saw her house. There was a TV in every room (not massive but still), Two massive outside cabins with TVs, and a pottery barn (literally).
I was lucky enough to take a pottery-making class and I know that it is an extremely expensive hobby. We were also allowed large takeouts every time I stayed. I never commented until now.
I’ve had a job since I was 16 and I make good money to the point I’ve been able to treat us to do things like seeing a musical or going to a concert.
Last night we went to the summertime ball which is not cheap and I ended up covering food, tickets, and travel. Every time anyone has ever said anything involving money Raya has always said ‘I’m poor’ in response. It’s always been a laughing way but it’s mostly irrelevant.
On the train home, the carriage was basically empty so we were chatting and I made a joke about being afraid to look at my bank account in the morning as I knew I would be down at least 200. It was said as a joke but she responded with ‘Well you can afford it.
you’re not poor like me’.
Her saying that confirmed that she was not intending on covering anything even though she ate more than I did and had more to drink. I lost it at her. ‘Oh my god, you aren’t poor. Your family owns a house, you have 3 cars and expensive hobbies.
You buy films on Amazon rather than renting or finding ways to stream illegally. Maybe you yourself are poor but that’s because you refuse to get a job. You worked one for 3 shifts and decided you hated getting up on a Saturday and every penny you earn you spend.
I have been saving for months to come tonight and pulled 3 double shifts to get the time off and the money for travel. You have no concept of how money works or how to save it and I’m done covering you’.
She didn’t say anything and the train carriage was empty so we just sat in silence.
This morning I woke up to 30-odd messages from our mutual friends telling me how bad of a friend I am for bringing her out and refusing to pay as well as making fun of her financial situation.
I feel bad for exploding at her but I don’t regret what I said. Does that make me a jerk?”
29. AITJ For Deleting My Unflattering Video?
“When I (F25) was about 9-10 years old my family got a camcorder that I was trusted to use with permission.
One day I decided to go to our back garden and record a ‘show’ that I named after myself. I was going to delete the video after recording it because I didn’t want anyone to see it.
The video was of me jumping around singing songs – however, my trousers fell down slightly a few times so a majority of that video was of me showing off my undergarments before yanking up my trousers – and some other stuff I definitely didn’t want anyone to see.
My dad and little sister found the video a few hours later and teased me relentlessly for days about it to the point I would hide in my room and cry because I couldn’t be in the same room without being told how funny it was, how ridiculous I looked, how embarrassing it was, how bad my singing was, and that I should start exercising because I was out of breath from dancing around.
I was a shy child, so having anyone see anything like this caused huge anxiety, which I expressed to my family, which just made the video a source of blackmail for years after that.
The video was used as leverage to get me to do everything – from cleaning the house to waiting on everyone’s hand and foot.
If I ever said no to anything they would say things like ‘Wait until I show your friends’, ‘Maybe your aunts and cousins would like a viewing party’, and ‘This would be a great video for your 18th birthday’.
Eventually, I had enough, I had asked repeatedly from the day I made the video to stop making fun of me because it gave me anxiety and really upset me – I even point-blank told my family if they didn’t I would delete it.
My dad has taught me how to use computers since I was 2 years old, and I know how to find backups. So when he threatened to put it up on social media (I was 15-16) I decided enough was enough.
I deleted every single copy he had saved, and it was permanently gone.
It took him months to notice, and when he did everyone in my family had a go at me for deleting precious memories. I was told how selfish I was to take away something that they wanted to remember – I should note here, that was the only thing I deleted, I touched absolutely nothing else.
It came up again last night. My whole family lay it on me saying how ridiculous I was for deleting it, how I was such an awful person for deleting memories. My dad even piped up with ‘That was the video me and your sisters would watch when you weren’t around to laugh at you’ – I was told how disgraceful and horrible I was to delete something that meant so much.
How they were disappointed in me and that what I did was absolutely disgusting.
I gave plenty of warning and was fed up with it being used against me every time someone didn’t get their way. And I know from a parent’s point of view, if I had kids I would want memories of them, but not at the expense of their mental health or as a form of emotional blackmail. So AITJ?”
28. AITJ For Finding My Neighbor's Demands Funny?
“My partner, our daughter (6), our 2 cats, and I have been living in the same 2-bedroom apartment for a little over 4 years. We haven’t had any issues with any other residents until now and we love the community we live in.
Someone new moved into the unit downstairs about 3 months ago and we’ve been having some issues. I’m gonna call the neighbor ‘N’.
I work from home part-time and as a result, I do most of the chores. I have a routine I follow which involves vacuuming once a day around 2 p.m.
as having 2 cats, 2 adults, and a kid in a small apartment means extra upkeep. I have a small, relatively quiet cordless vacuum and never vacuum for more than 15 minutes.
Ever since my downstairs neighbor moved in, he’s been pounding on their ceiling every time I vacuum.
After 3 days of this, I tried knocking on his door to see what the problem was and he told me to get lost. I kept my routine up until a few days later he pounds on my door and proceeds to scream at me through it that he was tired of me making so much noise vacuuming while he was trying to sleep because he works the night shift and is a light sleeper.
At that point, I felt pretty scared since I was home alone and an aggressive person was screaming and pounding my door, so I called my landlord (LL) and he could hear the screaming through the phone so he came right away.
I yelled through the door for N to leave me alone and that LL was on his way.
My LL set up a ‘mediation’ over Zoom and my neighbor came to it with a list of demands. They are: no vacuuming/cooking/toilet flushing/walking around the apartment between 8 a.m.
and 9 p.m., no guests aside from Tuesdays/Wednesdays (his days off), no smoking (we live in a building that allows smoking but we don’t smoke), and no music at any time whatsoever. Both I and the LL straight up laughed at these demands and my LL said that as long as I didn’t make excessive noise during quiet hours (10 p.m.
to 8 a.m.) then it’s not his or my problem that my neighbor works nights and that if it bothers him so much he should switch to day shift or get headphones.
Cue my neighbor losing his mind. He pounds on the ceiling constantly.
Blasts gospel music during quiet hours. He even left a bag of dog poop outside my door and he doesn’t even have a dog. I reported it all to the LL as did other residents who were bothered by the music and the LL ended up filing an eviction notice for my downstairs neighbor.
Neighbor has taken to screaming at me whenever he sees me that it’s my fault he’s going to be homeless and if I’d just been more quiet he wouldn’t have had to ‘go to these lengths’ to get me to be quiet. Most people I’ve talked to say I’m NTJ, but a couple of residents from our complex have said we should’ve just complied with N because he’s now making their lives more difficult.”
27. AITJ For Being Jealous Of My Siblings' Phones?
“I (15F) got my first phone when I was in year 6. It was an iPhone 4 that was initially my parents’ but I got it because they upgraded. It was great but didn’t last long because it was really old and wouldn’t let me download apps or anything because the IOS couldn’t update.
So my next phone was an iPhone 7 that my mum bought for herself but never ended up setting up so she instead gave it to me 3 years later and got herself a newer phone. I was so grateful to have a working phone.
Fast forward two years. My younger sister is in year 6 and in need of a phone. What do my parents do? They go out and they buy her an iPhone X. Obviously I was quite upset, not really by the fact that my sister had a newer phone than me, but by the fact that my parents went out and bought her a phone, but none of my phones were bought for me.
When I expressed this to my mum, she said that when I needed a new phone it would be a newer model than my siblings’ phones.
Fast forward another two years, my brother is in year 6 and my iPhone 7 is failing me.
It has a weird glitch where the screen goes black and I have to turn it off and on again. It’s really hard to use because everything loads extremely slowly and on iMessage, it only receives half the messages I’ve been sent.
I tell my parents and they agree I need a new one. But since my brother is in year 6 now they go buy him an iPhone 12. He’s 11 and he has an iPhone 12. They also got him the phone case that I told them I wanted.
Anyway, the time comes for them to get me a new phone finally after showing them for months that it doesn’t work and it’s an iPhone 11 with a case that is not what I asked for. Of course I’m grateful to have a working phone again but I’m rather annoyed and upset and angry.
Why does my 11-year-old brother get a brand new iPhone 12 but when I was 11 I got an old iPhone 4? And why does he get the case that I asked for but I don’t?
It’s not the model of the phone I’m upset about, it’s the fact that they happily buy stuff for my siblings and not me.
I’ve told my parents how it’s unfair but they don’t really think it is. My friends all agree with me. So am I the jerk?”
26. AITJ For Not Wanting To Take Care Of My Father's Baby?
“My (f16) father (m53) had an affair with ‘Suzie’, (who knew he was married) (f34) who then got pregnant. My father left my mother and married Suzie days after the divorce was finalized. They had a daughter ‘May’ who is now around 20 months old? and are pregnant again.
I don’t like my father or Suzie, but have to stay with them every other week because my father pays for my school and the custody agreement. To clarify, I hold them both equally responsible for their affair, but this situation and the comments made were directed toward Suzie.
I was at my dad’s house and had a friend over in my room working on a school project. Suzie came into the room and the conversation followed:
Suzie asks if I can watch May while she quickly takes a shower.
I say no and ask her to get out since we’re working.
Suzie repeats herself and says that it was only for 10 minutes while she quickly took a shower.
I told her to make her dad look after her since he was her father.
Suzie told me that he was working, she was my sister, it’d only be for 10 minutes, and May could entertain herself during this time, I’d just have to keep an eye on her.
Me: If I just had to keep an eye on her, her dad could do that.
Suzie: Your father is working and I was asking you to do this 1 thing because I do everything for you. She’ll be silent and you won’t even know she’s here.
Me: sure, I’ll show my appreciation for you ruining my family and being a home wrecker by looking after your child. Her dad can watch her if she’ll be so silent.
Suzie started crying about how hard it is to be a parent and be pregnant and that she was asking me to do this 1 thing and I’d understand when I was older.
She told me that my father was supporting our family and that he asked me to do this one thing in return. She also told me that he wouldn’t be able to make sure nothing bad happened to her, and it was only 10 minutes.
I told her she could bring her into the bathroom with her or just wait until my father could be bothered to be a parent, but she told me she wanted 10 minutes of alone time and that I should be sympathetic towards a pregnant woman.
She kept saying it would only be for 10 minutes.
This is where it escalated because I told her that if anything bad happened to May, it would be her fault for being a negligent parent and that I didn’t care. I told her to act like a parent or force my father to, but I wasn’t going to do that for her.
She began screaming and crying about how she was done with my attitude and I needed to start appreciating what she does for our family, but my friend and I left since we had to get our project done.
My father was furious about what I said and that ‘I couldn’t be bothered to look after my sister for 10 minutes or be nice to my stepmother’.
My mother said that while I didn’t have to look after May or ‘show gratitude or be nice’, I shouldn’t have called her a negligent parent or that she would’ve been responsible if something happened to May.
Edit: I have no anger toward May or the future baby.
None. I feel absolutely nothing towards them. In the beginning, I was upset, angry, etc yes, but I have worked through that with my therapist and I understand that they can’t be blamed. It took my therapist telling me ‘You’re an innocent child in this situation as well’ for me to realize this. Neither of us deserved this. My ‘ill will’ is held towards my father and Suzie which I’m working through with my therapist, but is limited due to the fact I’m forced to live with them every other week.”
25. AITJ For Calling My Spouse "My Wife" In Front Of Other People?
“I eloped two weeks ago and couldn’t be happier. The transformation into ‘wife guy’ has been immediate and complete, and I’m so happy about the development that I tend to talk about her a lot. It’s an enthusiasm that I think is befitting of a newlywed.
One of the people bearing the brunt of this enthusiasm is my best friend/roommate. I’ve been working 60+/hr weeks and haven’t seen a lot of him lately, but when I do, she tends to be what I talk about, and when I talk about her, I’ve tended to call her ‘my wife’.
To me, it seems obvious that this is rooted in my excitement and the newness of the development – almost like I can’t believe the good fortune that I’ve had in marrying her, and repeating it could make it somehow sink in.
In a tone that I thought was joking, my roommate said ‘She has a name’ when I was gushing about ‘my wife’. Because I thought he was joking, I continued to refer to her that way.
A day or two later, he was in the living room with his partner and I again made reference to ‘my wife’, and he said, ‘Seriously, would you mind calling her by her name? I found it a little offensive and disrespectful to women.’ I said that I could understand and respect his viewpoint, but that I don’t agree.
I don’t think her personhood is defined by her marital status or anything like that. I’m just excited that she’s my wife! I said as much, and he said that he couldn’t have known that. Part of me felt like he was trying to look good in front of his partner.
For the record, my wife enjoys it when I call her ‘my wife’ because she’s as excited about it as I am. When I told my roommate this, he said ‘That’s fine, you can call her that when you’re talking to her.
I just find it offensive to women in general, and even to me personally.’ To which, I wonder – is it not more offensive that, as a man, he’s centering his feelings and feels qualified to speak on her behalf, despite what she actually feels?
So, AITJ for excitedly referring to my wife of two weeks as ‘my wife’? It’s not a huge deal, I’ll call her by her name in front of my roommate, and I wouldn’t be surprised if in time I begin to do so more generally, anyway. I just can’t help but wonder about the true motivations for my roomie’s comments, and if anyone else shares his viewpoint.”
24. AITJ For Refusing To Design My Aunt's Website For Free?
“I (26F) am a freelance web designer and I started really young. I began with basic art when I was 10 years old, digital art at 15, graphic design at 17 and basically evolved in college to what I am now.
I also come from an Asian household and so my parents gave me constant passive-aggressive remarks about my degree being in ‘art’ (it’s actually a computer science degree) and spent years making me feel like crap as they’ve never approved of my career.
Their remarks haven’t been as frequent now that I have back-to-back jobs for smaller business designs. I used to do big corporations but the work was terrible and barely livable. Anyways, I base my prices on the challenge of the website itself, my experience, and time.
(Usually a $60-$70hr rate) I sometimes reach out to a fellow web designer friend (or two) and they obviously get paid for it as well if the website is too big to take on myself but I can usually manage.
Moving forward, I’m currently on vacation and taking a month-long break from work for health reasons so I’m back home with my mom.
My aunt (47) found out I’m back home and came over. She told me she’s starting a candle business and wants me to create a website for her. When I told her I was on vacation she brought up the whole ‘We are family’ thing and nagged me and my mom did too.
She didn’t want to use the ‘create your own website sites’ because ‘they wouldn’t do her vision justice’ and I guess they require you to do a big one-time payment.
Well, I told her that she would have to pay me half as a deposit and then the rest when I’m done, and then I would hand over the website after.
She then blew a fuse and got mad at me for ‘trying to scam her’. She yelled at me saying ‘We’re family’ and even tried using the ‘You’ll get exposure’ card. She didn’t even hear what I was gonna quote for the price but after that happened I flat-out refused.
My mom (46) then got mad at me saying I should be glad my aunt is offering me a job and that family does these things for each other out of love and not pay. They called me a brat and entitled and a list of other things.
Well after that I left my mom’s house and I’m currently staying at a hotel. I just couldn’t handle the constant belittlement.
My aunt is now texting me saying she’ll pay me $200 and I should be lucky she’s offering me this at all. I told her to kiss my butt. After that, I’ve been getting nonstop messages from other family members saying I’m a con artist and other things. Other than that comment to her, AITJ?
23. AITJ For Not Doing Anything To Help Find My Missing Dad?
“I (22F) was born in a horrible third-world country. Neither of my parents was involved in my life at all, I was mostly raised by my grandparents, aunts, etc. I moved out on my own when I was 18.
A few months after I moved out, my dad contacted me again after more than 10 years of no contact (and even when I was a child, our contact was me running into him at his mother’s house once every couple of months).
He wanted to tell me that he was married and expecting a baby with his wife. I was like ‘ok’.
Then he messaged me every day to say he missed me, wished we could have contact again, he messed up, etc. I was on the fence but I didn’t immediately say no.
He started sending me considerable monetary gifts for my birthday and holidays. After my sister was born, he kept insisting that I visit them and get to know her. It never worked out with my school schedule, and then the global crisis hit, so that was a no-go.
Until two months ago, he kept sending me weekly messages with pictures of my sister and good wishes. All was fine. Then I didn’t hear from him again but I figured he was busy, or had checked out of being my dad again.
Then I get a panicked phone call from my dad’s sister. She’s asking me if I know anything about my dad and when was the last time I spoke to him. I answered and asked why. She said it’s because almost a month ago, he stole a bunch of funds and things from his wife, packed up her car, and left.
No one had heard from him for three whole weeks, until last week, he said he demanded she pay him 30k euros if she wanted him to return.
My aunt said I should try to help them as much as I could, this was my sister that he was abandoning, and ‘I didn’t want her to go through the same thing I did, right?’ My aunt told me I should reach out to my dad’s wife, to be there for her, maybe travel to their country to be with them during this trying time, etc.
I told her I wished them nothing but the best, nothing but blessings, but I could do absolutely nothing for them. I have no way to contact my dad (I had the same number/contact info for him as everyone else, and since he’s missing in action, those are unreachable), and honestly, it is not my responsibility.
I came to the realization, after talking it all out with my best friend, that I simply did not care that my dad was doing this again. Yes, it sucks for my sister and his wife. But I have no control over the situation and I do not wish to engage with it.
If there was something I could do, I would, but I cannot. I am several thousands of miles away from my sister and her mom, and god only knows where my dad is.
So I have chosen to check out of the situation, and I can’t help but wonder… am I the jerk?”
22. AITJ For Contacting The Plumber My Brother Hates?
“I come from a family of real estate investors. Between my mother, brother, and two sisters, we own 11 properties in our area; some are our primary residences and some are rentals. I own my primary residence and one rental property.
The other night, my brother texted our group chat to not use a specific plumber that we’ve all been using for years. I think the plumber is somehow related to my SIL, think like her mother’s cousin’s ex-husband. Anyway, he’s always been great to use because of the relationship or because we have so many properties that he makes a good deal of money from our family.
All my brother said was that he was on bad terms with the plumber at the moment and didn’t want it taken out on us.
Yesterday (Saturday), my tenant had a plumbing emergency. My tenant is a sweet, older lady who often keeps her grandkids.
She’s never once been late on rent and is the ideal tenant. The house only has one bathroom, and this plumbing emergency took it out of commission.
I made a few phone calls, one of which was to the plumber my brother asked us not to use.
That plumber was able to get there the quickest on a weekend and didn’t charge me his normal ‘weekend/emergency’ rate. He fixed the problem and sent me the invoice.
It came up at a family brunch today and my brother was upset that I didn’t listen to him.
I said his concern was valid and that whatever bad blood is between him and the plumber could blow back on me, but it didn’t and it was more important to me for there to be a functioning bathroom in my rental than wait until a normal business day or pay an exorbitant amount for a weekend fix.
I don’t really think I did anything wrong, but my family says I should have listened to my brother. For extra context, he’s the oldest and ‘golden child’ and our father has passed away, amping his role as ‘man of the family.'”
21. AITJ For Yelling At My Mom After She Brought My Sister Over?
“I (24m) was brought into fostering when I was 7 weeks old. My sister, Leah, (23f) was brought into fostering as soon as her surgery had finished when she was born because she has spina bifida which is where you’re born with a hole in your spine.
She also has a shunt, which monitors fluid in the brain, so when it malfunctioned her behavior would change. I was adopted when I was 10, and she was fostered until she was 14 when she decided to abscond (which is where you run away).
I’ve always been petite, so she was considerably larger than me. She would be cruel to me in front of my mother, and my mother would let it go because my sister was younger than me.
Here’s what happened today.
Leah had been evicted from her house, and so she came crawling and begging my parents, who happily let her stay at MY house.
They used to own the house, but now I legally own it and the land around it. They came into my house, without even knocking or letting me know they were over.
I was asleep, and I woke up because I’m a light sleeper and they’re pretty loud.
I went to greet them, and Leah was all over my dogs. One of my Great Danes, Yin, got so scared that she peed on the floor. I told them to get out multiple times, but they wouldn’t, so I told them I’d call the police if they didn’t leave.
Leah didn’t care, since I’d called the police on her when she was younger, and my parents called me a liar. I cleaned up my dog’s mess, and locked myself in a room, leaving my dogs with her to scare her.
I knew they weren’t going to hurt her, but I was angry.
My dad and Leah left, but my mum stayed. I came out of my room and yelled at her. She started crying, telling me that this was one of the last chances she had to bring us together.
I yelled at her saying we were never a family because they didn’t listen to me or help me. She said that she and Dad were hurt as well, that we’ve all been through a lot, and that she just wanted us to get along.
I felt like a jerk, but I’ve never let an argument go, so I kept yelling. I yelled at her for a good hour, and she was still crying. I got lightheaded so I stopped, and she told me that everything my sister had done to me was because of her disability making her feel useless and unwanted, so she took it out on me.
I told her that I was also disabled, and not to pull that card on me because I know it’s nonsense, and she left without saying anything.
I feel like I’m the jerk because she had good intentions, and she just wanted to help us all overcome the trauma that we all went through. I feel like a jerk for yelling so much at her, and my dad and their friends and extended family have been attacking me through social media. AITJ?”
20. AITJ For Not Giving My Ex-Brother-In-Law Access To His Children's Funds?
“I lost my sister Mia to cancer 11 years ago. She left behind her son Kai who was 4 and her daughter Ella who was 3. My sister was married to Luke. But when she became ill, she turned to me and the rest of the family for help with her kids’ inheritance.
She asked that we buy her out of her share of the business our grandparents left us many years ago, so she could leave her kids money. We did just that and it allowed her to leave a sizable sum for both kids.
It’s enough to cover college for both and leave them with allowances for something else. Or they could buy a house each. My sister just wanted them to have something real that could be there for them when she couldn’t be.
She ended up leaving me in charge of the accounts for the kids.
Luke met his current wife two years after my sister died and married her within six months and added 5 more kids over the following three years.
They have struggled over the years.
One of his stepchildren has physical health issues, and another is disabled and requires a lot of therapy. Finances are often tight. We have been made aware of this by him over the years. He didn’t know about the money until he actually read the letter my sister left for him which informed him of the existence of the money.
Ever since he learned of it 18 months ago he has been determined to get his hands on it. He has accused me of letting my nephew and niece starve when I could have dipped into the account (which I can’t and which I didn’t, they never starved), he said I was dividing his family, and so on.
He told me that money needs to be split 7 ways. That Mia was selfish to keep the funds from his reach so he couldn’t use it on all his kids. That it was selfish of her to come between his family after she died since he had been a loyal husband to her.
One of his stepchildren ended up missing out on an opportunity due to a lack of money. He tried to get my niece and nephew to ask me for money for their stepsibling to do it, but the kids said in front of him that they wanted to keep the funds in the account, which angered him.
He told me I didn’t have the right to do this, that his kids’ money should be accessible to him, their father. I told him that the funds my sister left for their children are nothing to do with him, that my sister made it so, and that he needed to act like it doesn’t exist since it doesn’t for anyone but my nephew and niece.
Let’s just say he wasn’t happy.
AITJ for what I said?”
19. AITJ For Telling My Fiancé To Cook His Meals?
“My (33f) fiancé (36m) and I were together for six and engaged for 4 years. We both have a child (12) (16) from a previous relationship.
He recently had a health scare (diagnosed with prediabetes; his father died from diabetic complications a few years ago) therefore he went vegan about a year ago.
Our family has fully supported his change. We even bought another fridge to keep his food in.
He now tries to inflict his lifestyle on us. It’s not like we haven’t tried any of his meals before, it’s just not our choice.
Anytime now we eat something he disagrees with; he goes into this lecture about how it’s not good for your body and what it consists of and what we need to change. I’m talking about literally every time. I’ve tried to be understanding because he’s dealing with something that took his father.
But every time? Imagine you’re about to eat a delicious piece of chocolate cake, I kid you not he will go into how many calories you’re about to eat and what it’s going to do to your body, especially when it’s dealing with something sugary! A nice juicy steak? ‘Red meat is the Devil.’ A piece of fried chicken? Grease is going to seep out of your pores.
Our kids avoid being around him now when they’re about to eat a snack of some sort.
I’ve tried to talk to him about how he’s making everyone uncomfortable in the house to eat around him, but he brushes it off and calls it a ‘guilty meat eater complaint.’ Said if we were eating right, we wouldn’t feel guilty about what he said.
For the last couple of months, he’s been, I don’t know, paranoid if you want to call it. He thinks someone is messing with his food. Claims that it tastes funny. Accused me or one of the kids of touching the settings on it, which is possible, but I highly doubt it’s happened since neither of our kids is vegan.
He and I are the only ones that go in and out of the fridge the most. The only time they even go in the fridge is if one of us asks them to hand us something out of it.
A few nights ago, I cooked dinner as usual, only this time I was accused of contaminating his food with meat drippings.
I was accused of trying to revert him back to a meat eater. That I was endangering his health. He demanded to know what skillets I used. I’ve always cooked our meals in different pots and pans, just to avoid a situation like such.
I have a sister that’s vegan so it’s not my first rodeo. Tired of the accusations I told him from now on he can cook his own dinner. That I’m tired of him trying to inflict his lifestyle on us. Just because he changed his eating lifestyle, doesn’t mean he gets to force it on us.
He told me that I was being selfish. That I was unsupportive and that I want to see him fail! I told him that’s not true, but if he was going to act this way, then it’s best he cooks his own food and I’m not budging on the matter. He’s been sleeping on the couch since, refusing to talk to me.”
18. AITJ For Taking My Meds In Front Of My Stepdad's Kids?
“I (16F) have epilepsy and I have seizures because of it and I take medication for those seizures. It’s a condition I can not control which many people in my life don’t really get (except for dad) unfortunately.
My mom and dad have been separated for 3 years.
She started going out with this guy ‘Jeff’ who’s a single dad of 2 kids ages 6 & 8. He comes over with his kids to visit us every week.
Yesterday, he visited and brought the kids, I don’t usually… like sitting with him but I had to to ‘get to know my future stepsiblings better’ as my mom says.
Anyways, while we were sitting I grabbed my medication which made Jeff side-eye me for like… 30 secs. He then told his kids to go to the other room then started berating me asking ‘What I just did’.
I was so confused by his language not knowing what he meant.
He told me it was not OK for me to take medication in front of his kids… I was like ‘Why not?’ And he started ranting about how his kids shouldn’t see ‘this stuff’ and that I should have gone to my room or any other room to take my medication if ‘it was so important to me’.
I was shocked and mom didn’t even say anything at the time which really got me questioning what I did. He then said those are my stepsiblings, they’re of young age and should not be ‘exposed’ to such ‘sights’ and that I’m gon’ to have to come up with a better way to ‘deal’ with my condition and medication intake because he doesn’t want his kids exposed to that once we all start living together as a family.
I told him it wasn’t my problem which caused the argument to escalate. Mom sided with him and I had to go to my room to calm down a bit.
After he and his kids left, mom picked another argument with me saying I should have been ‘more considerate’ of the kids seeing my medication and said that Jeff has a point but I was being too rude to him. She told me she was expecting me to apologize and get right with Jeff next time he visits but I said no.
Now I’m punished for next weekend for my ‘attitude’ towards my stepdad but am I the jerk here?”
17. AITJ For Not Giving My Half-Sister Some Things From Our Late Dad?
“I (33m) have two half-sisters through my late father, Michelle (24f) and Amy (23f). Michelle and Amy have different mothers but both their moms are also sisters. Apparently, my dad had an affair while Michelle’s mom was pregnant and that’s how Amy came about.
Amy’s mom couldn’t bring herself to part with her daughter so she chose to keep Amy and find a loving stepdad for her.
Michelle was still a toddler when my stepmom and dad died in a car accident and because her maternal grandparents had their hands full with helping take care of Amy my grandparents opted to take her in and Michelle would visit her mom’s side of the family.
When my dad died my aunt was put in charge of his finances and after the funeral expenses, she put the rest of the savings and life insurance policy into savings accounts and investments for Michelle and me. My aunt also put her own funds into launching a lawsuit against the people for their role in my dad’s and stepmom’s death and won much more than what the company was trying to settle for.
That fund was also added to the accounts and investments.
My aunt also took in Michelle when she was 13 and put in a lot of effort to make sure Michelle and I had a bond by taking us out on fun trips across the world.
By the time Michelle and I were able to go to college, there were plenty of funds and assets for us to not have to worry about money. By the time Michelle and I earned our respective bachelors, we had decided to split the remaining funds evenly and were about to do so when we were both hit with a lawsuit from Amy and that’s how we found out about the secret.
After the DNA test proved that Amy was our half-sister Michelle tried to calmly talk to her but Amy wasn’t interested because she felt we were going to try and trick her out of what she was entitled to. Amy intended to get the entirety of the remaining funds plus have us pay her a certain amount but she ended up only getting 70% of the fund.
This case went on for a year and Amy was really nasty about it but when the dust settled she had the audacity to try and form a sibling relationship. Michelle still loved Amy and forgave her and obviously, my grandparents wanted to get to know their long-lost grandchild, but for me, Michelle was my only sister (through my dad) and I just tolerated Amy at events.
When my wife and I moved into our house we had a small get-together and Amy showed up and saw some of my dad’s items. She asked to have some and I immediately refused. She got upset and said that she was just as much entitled to something of our dad’s as I was.
I countered that she already got what she was entitled to in court and that anything else is charity. Amy stormed off and my grandparents think that I was too harsh, but the way I see it is you can’t sue people and then expect to be on friendly terms later.
- Michelle and I had no idea Amy was our half-sister until the lawsuit. We just woke up one day and were served by someone from her legal team.
- Michelle and our grandparents already gave Amy photos of our dad so it’s not like she doesn’t have anything.
- Once the DNA test proved Amy was our sister Michelle and I intended to then split the remaining assets equally between the three of us but Amy didn’t want to do that.
- I didn’t invite Amy to my housewarming she just showed up with Michelle and I didn’t want to ruin the mood so I let her in.
- The trips that Michelle and I took were paid for by our aunt with her own money.
I mentioned Amy ‘being nasty’.
Well here are some more details on that:
- When I was served I was at the hospital because my mom was having surgery and Amy knew I’d be there.
- During the process, Amy was convinced that Michelle and I were trying to hide funds from her and reported us to the IRS.
While my wife and I were trying to get a house for the first time.
I’m an American living in the USA.
The lawsuit was almost four years ago and Michelle and I didn’t fight for an appeal because we just wanted to move on with our lives.”
16. AITJ For Not Wanting My Wife To Pick Up Her Coworker From A Faraway State?
“Firstly, I was very stern on the NO because I was mainly worried for my wife’s safety driving that far at night on a dangerous 2-way highway and it angers me that work would force her to do something like this.
Anyway, a coworker of my wife’s decided to take a trip which is 3 hours away in rural Nevada to a different state, knowing that her car has given them many issues in the past and was on its way out.
Her car died of course and was stuck there with her 3 kids, dog, and ex-husband. This blows my mind because if I had major car issues I would save my funds and not waste it on something like this.
She called her boss directly who was out on a business trip about 10 hours away at the time.
Her boss not wanting her to miss another day of work suggested she rent a car which didn’t work as they didn’t want to rent to her since there were no drop-off locations near our town and she couldn’t purchase a car on the spot due to credit/financial issues.
She then wanted someone to pick them up as she was out of town as well. This is where my wife comes into this.
She then told her she should go pick her up and my wife stated she didn’t feel comfortable driving that way as she never has as I usually do the long driving.
Her boss started to guilt trip her saying ‘Well we can’t just leave them there’. Where I would say, why not? This is a personal issue, we have our own issues why would I take on someone else’s issues?
Before I forget, this was supposed to be done out of the kindness of our hearts at OUR expense.
Gas for a 400-mile round trip and then the time to clean out the car from all the dog hairs or pay to get it cleaned out. We are not rich and don’t have money to be throwing around like that.
I wouldn’t be able to help with the drive as there is no babysitter for our kid and I work.
Now my wife is mad at me and crying because after she said no to her boss, she said her boss got mad and most likely will start telling people that she didn’t want to help out a coworker and turn this into making her look like a jerk.
I told her I do feel bad she will get flack which honestly shouldn’t because this has nothing to do with work and she needs to stick up for herself more instead of letting them just guilt trip her into this kind of crap.
I feel like I may have put her in a really bad spot at work which I feel horrible for. I don’t want her to have a miserable time at work now because they think she is a jerk because I told her to say no, but man I feel really strong about this and I just didn’t want them taking advantage of her and wasting that much money ‘out of the kindness of my heart’.
What do you think, AITJ? I’m starting to feel like I am… ugh.”
15. AITJ For Arguing With The RA?
“My (18F) school, like basically every college, requires freshmen to live on campus. However, at my school, like 99% of people live on campus all four years. It’s considered extremely weird to live off-campus. It’s not even thought of by most students, and the only people who ever do are usually veteran students in their thirties.
And there aren’t very many veterans.
But it’s very common for students to live on campus, but have an apartment downtown for weekend parties or whenever they feel like staying somewhere else. I obviously live in my dorm, but I have an apartment in the city center where I throw parties, and I stay there whenever I feel like leaving the dorm.
My roommate is jealous that she always has to stay in the room since she had nowhere else to go, and we don’t get along in general, so she reported to the RA that I’m ‘not living on campus.’ I guess she thought the RA can make me live on campus or something.
The RA hates our room since my roommate always causes problems for her by trying and failing to report me for various things. The RA came to ‘remind me’ that all freshmen students must live on campus. I said I do live on campus (I pay for a dorm, it’s part of the bill).
I just happen to spend a lot of overnight time at my apartment in the city.
It was extremely annoying. The RA was like ‘Well, freshmen are supposed to stay on campus.’ The thing is, the school has absolutely no ability to control what I do or where I go, as long as I’m paying for residence on campus.
If I have an apartment elsewhere, and I stay there, no one can do anything about it, as long as I’m paying for my dorm on campus. What I’m doing is actually very popular with students.
I pay $70K a year for school, and campus housing is included in the cost.
As long as I pay for housing, in reality, I can stay wherever I want. They can’t do anything if I, an adult, decide I want to have an apartment. It’s not like they can seize my personal property or inquire about it at all.
So I told the RA ‘I pay my bill for housing. If the school wants to try to stop me from owning an apartment or wants to try to control my movements, they’re welcome to try it.’ Because they obviously can’t actually do anything.
So the RA was just like ‘Well, I have to tell you that freshmen must live on campus, so I’m just saying that.’ And she left. She told my roommate that she can’t actually do anything if I want to pay for housing and pay for an apartment elsewhere though. As long as I pay the housing bill, I can do whatever.
So my roommate said I ‘mentally abused the RA’ and ‘gaslighted her’ or something.”
14. AITJ For Refusing To Sign Documents To Help My Best Friend Get Out Of Jail?
“So I (39m) have a best friend (38m), he’s always been there for me and is one of the very few people I consider a friend, and the only one I consider a brother. We’ve been friends for about 20 years.
Recently he got arrested for selling substances, a class A felony that carries about 25 years in prison from what I understand. He’s a very kind and considerate person who absolutely does not belong in jail.
Upon finding out I have been talking to his mother and his long-time partner, trying to figure out how to post bail and get him out of jail.
His bail is set at 80k and there’s no possibility of raising that money between the three of us. Initially, it was proposed to me to put in $1280.00 to make up the rest of a 5k non-refundable bond, the rest of which was made up by my friend’s mom selling his boat and an old box truck.
She was going to put up his house as collateral for the rest of the bond to secure his release.
After I gave her (the mother) the $1280.00, she informed me that the bail bonds company would not accept the house as collateral as he was behind on the mortgage and it was necessary to put up another 5k.
After much deliberation (as this was a very large portion of the money I had left and I was just getting fired from my job, I work construction for a union, layoffs are common and another job will come by soon, but this money was my safety net) I decided to put up the money.
But now they’re telling me that putting up the 6280.00 isn’t enough either and they want me to sign a 29-page legal document that basically states that in the event he does not show up to court (which I have no doubt that he will) or fails to check in with the bond company once a week and after every court date, or gets arrested for any reason whatsoever (besides a minor traffic violation) as well as some other minor stipulations, that I would be solely responsible and legally obligated to pay the bond company 80k plus 9 percent interest plus 25 percent lawyer fees plus filing fees plus investigation fees, etc…
I was told that I would be a ‘cosigner’ along with three other people, but the legal documents I received do not reflect that. The three people that did agree to sign are his father, his long-time partner, and a friend of his.
From what I understand his mother raised 3720.00 by selling his boat and an old truck. So no one has put up any of their own money besides myself, and no one has offered their home as collateral, which would negate the necessity of signing these documents.
I rent, so I don’t own a home to put up as collateral myself, but his mother and her husband own a home, as does his father. His partner and mother are pressuring me to sign the documents stating that there is no one else that can sign and it’s no big deal because he’ll show up to court. I would be completely and utterly ruined if he were to violate the terms of his release for any reason, not all of which are even in his control.
Am I a jerk for refusing to sign these documents?”
13. AITJ For Not Liking Our Dad's Affair Child?
“I (16f) have 3 brothers, 20, 18 and 15. Our mother passed away from complications during the birth of my brother. I don’t have any memories of Mom. When she passed away, she left her estate to us, her children. The house we are currently living in belonged to my mother and technically belongs to my brothers and me.
My father had an affair child (15). No one knew about her until 2 years ago. Her mother apparently went to a prison, none of her known relatives could or wanted to take her in. She ended up here at our house.
My dad took her in and she has been living with us since.
I hate her. She’s nice to us when my dad is present, otherwise, she’s a freaking jerk. I didn’t say anything about her behavior at first, because my dad has been treating her extra special.
She can get away with anything. She acts like she owns this house, she’s always in our rooms, wearing my clothes without asking and worst of all touching the items that belonged to my mother. I used to not say anything to her, just ignore her and stay away from her, but recently she’s been so bold with her antics.
I can’t help but get mad at her and yell at her to stay away from me.
My brothers just ignored her at first, but now are telling her to leave them alone, because of how crazy she’s acting. She is constantly following us around, being mean and disrespectful for no reason.
It’s frustrating. My father is the only one not seeing that she’s abnormal.
We had a family meeting, about how we’re treating her unfairly and making her feel excluded. I calmly told my father that she was disrespecting our boundaries and is going into our rooms without our permission.
Which she argued that we go into each other’s room without asking all the time.
My brother (18) told her that we are siblings and our relationship is different, in comparison to hers. My dad raised his voice for the first time at our brother, telling him he was outta line for saying that and that’s she also our sister.
I disagreed, I don’t consider her my sister, she’s a stranger to us. She’s a stranger living in our house for the past 2 years, disrespecting us, it’s not okay and she needs to go. It’s unfair that we can’t live comfortably in our mother’s house, because of his kid.
We don’t want to be around her, because she’s weird and a psycho.
My dad was furious and told us we are being unfair and ganging up on her. He left the room mad. She left crying, probably to get sympathy from my dad.
My dad is still mad it’s been like a week and he’s not listening to us. She’s the crazy one. No one was mean to her, she was the one being disrespectful and we retaliated, all of a sudden now we’re the bad ones when we don’t want to be around her.
We never yelled at her for no reason, we haven’t said or done anything disrespectful to her.
I’m not understanding why we are being punished when she was the one who was disrespectful. We stayed away out of her way, and every time she was getting more disrespectful. I don’t feel like we were out of line for saying that.”
12. AITJ For Making My Wife Put Our Son To Bed?
“My (35m) wife (29f) and I have a two-year-old son. She is a stay-at-home mom and I work full-time, usually from 6:30 am to 5:30 pm or so.
Being a toddler, my son should generally be sleeping between 11 and 14 hours a day.
Therefore, what my wife and I aim for is for him to wake up at 7 am, do all the typical daily activities, take a nap starting between 1:30 pm and 2:00 pm for two hours, and then go to bed again at 8 pm.
This would give him a good 13 hours of sleep a day. I’m typically in charge of getting him to sleep at night while she obviously puts him down for his afternoon nap.
For the past several months, my wife has gotten incredibly lazy with putting him to bed.
I understand that it’s not always easy, but she has essentially worked out a new system: she waits for him to be utterly exhausted at about 4 pm, puts him in bed, and then wakes him up between 6:00 and as late as 6:30.
Therefore, when I try to get him to go to bed between 8 and 9, he’s not tired. At all. It’s basically a horrible wrestling match to get him to stay in bed as he shrieks and cries and bites and doesn’t want to sleep ‘because he’s simply not tired’.
It takes me up to two and a half hours to get him to bed which is horribly unfun for both of us.
Last night I finally told my wife that until she fixes his sleep schedule, I’m not going to clean up her mess anymore.
I moved my bed into another room, locked the door, and went to bed as she put him to sleep. This morning, she was exhausted from doing so and in a terrible mood because apparently having to do what I’d been doing for months was bad.
She told me that I need to be more active in helping out with him, and I responded that I’ll happily do so once she actually gets him down for his nap at a reasonable time.
I honestly don’t think I am being out of line here, but am I being a jerk?”
11. AITJ For Not Wanting My Best Friend's Significant Other To Come To Girls' Night?
“I (22f) got out of a 3+ year relationship a couple of months ago and it’s been a bit of an adjustment. I really became a homebody during the relationship and didn’t spend really any of my early college days having a ‘nightlife’.
That being said, I’ve been spending a lot of time becoming more independent and doing things that help me feel genuinely happy again, including spending time with my friends and family and it’s really helped a lot. I made plans with my best friend (23f) of 14 years to have a girls’ night at this cute club I heard about.
I thought it’d be fun to get dressed up, drink a little, and dance and she said she was up for it. She mentioned she wasn’t available until the weekend after I originally proposed because her significant other was coming into town.
I was totally fine with this and we had plans made.
Fast forward, I texted her asking if we were still on for Saturday night and she said yes, but wanted her SO to come as well. I was kind of annoyed at this and mentioned that it was supposed to be a girls’ night and that we scheduled it so it could stay that way.
She told me her SO doesn’t have many friends, that she wants us to get to know each other better, and that he would be by himself that night if he didn’t come. I told her I didn’t think it would be the best time to get to know each other and that I didn’t want to be a third wheel at a club but she insisted that bringing him would be fun and is planning on bringing him anyway. I told her I think I need to take a rain check and she got upset at me saying that. I’m not sure if I’m being rude or not so I thought I’d ask on here.”
10. AITJ For Refusing To Carpool With A Classmate Because She's A Liar?
“I (22f) am a dental assistant student. I live in a big city with a lot of traffic. There are only 6 of us total in my class. My classmate ‘G’ (23f) was always Ubering to class, which was costing about 45$ to and from just to get home and to school.
I offered her the option of carpooling and she can just pay me gas for the rides. She agreed.
At first, G was really nice and pretty talkative. I’m pretty quiet myself so I thought nothing of it. She always made her life seem so busy and grand.
That she made money and took care of her family.
As time progressed, I began to notice the lying. I come from a messy background so money means nothing to me. I’m not rich or poor but I couldn’t care less about someone’s financial situation.
Another one of my classmates informed me that she lives nearby my house and asked if I could also take her to school. She would pay me gas money of course. So I agreed and I would carpool with these 2 girls.
G began to lie again and say she got on American Idol because her mom forced her and then said she was on The Voice Mexico at age 6. She’s only a year older than me so I did the math and in 2005 she would’ve been 6.
The Voice Mexico came out in 2011. I thought maybe she’s got something that makes her lie about everything and shrugged it off. We all began to notice how perfect her grades online were but she had no knowledge of dental assisting in class.
She admitted to copying the answers on big exams. We all kind of got mad at that. We’re all busting our butts to pass our classes and she’s just easing her way through by plagiarizing.
We began to have class twice a week so I asked for an extra 10$ from each of them for the week and they agreed.
G began to ask more often when I would get a new car and how embarrassing it was having to ride with someone in a crappy car. So I began to ignore her messages and not pick her up anymore. I was over it.
She began to give me dirty looks and then blew up my phone on the weekends while I was at work.
I began to notice in our schoolwork online, she began to copy and paste my exact words into her own posts for the assignment.
She would steal my responses from my other classmates and pass them off as her own. I confronted her about this and she plays dumb, telling everyone I was accusing her of copying.
Luckily my classmates compiled screenshots of this and we reported her.
Nothing was done and she never knew about the report. My classmate says she feels bad about her having to Uber to class but I don’t feel bad.
Last week she announced to the class that she had to take the bus to school but my classmate said she saw her get out of an Uber. I think she was saying it to manipulate me or something. I don’t know anymore. AITJ?”
9. AITJ For Not Wanting To Invite My Daughter's Half-Sister To Her Birthday Party?
“I (46F) have 4 kids Caleb (18M), Bailey (almost 16F), Jacob (13M), and Sofia (9F) with my ex-husband Mike (47M). Mike and I got divorced 7 years ago when I found out he was having an affair and fathered another child outside of our marriage.
I was the breadwinner in the family and got a promotion after my divorce, which required me to move out of state with my children.
My children see their father during school breaks. He’s not with his affair partner but they have joint custody and he has his other daughter Bella (8F) half of the week.
He does not make a lot but does pay me court-ordered child support.
My daughter is having a sweet 16 on New Year’s Eve when she comes back from her dad’s for Christmas break. Her dad couldn’t financially contribute to the Sweet 16 so I paid for the whole thing alone but I told my ex he could come.
I have also invited his family members as well. Last night my ex called and wanted to know if he could bring Bella. I said I would think about it but honestly I didn’t feel comfortable with it.
I have never met his other child but seeing my ex is upsetting enough without having to see the physical embodiment of his affair.
I know she’s a child and it’s not her fault how she got here, and I also know that she is my children’s half-sister so I asked Bailey if she wanted her to come. She said it didn’t really matter to her and they’re not close because of the age difference.
She also said Sofia has some sort of sibling rivalry with her so she’d rather not deal with that on her day.
I explained all the reasons to my ex this morning and let him know I was not comfortable with it.
He blew up on me and said I was taking my anger out on a little girl and making the rift between her and our children worse. He then started ranting about how it’s my fault that Caleb doesn’t talk to him because of the affair (I didn’t even know), and how Bella is upset because my kids have more things and better clothes than she does.
I responded that none of those things were my problem.
He said that he has Bella that weekend so if she can’t come, he won’t be able to make it. I told him that he was making a choice not to find other arrangements and he was making a choice not to come to Bailey’s sweet 16, so he needed to be the one to let her know he wasn’t coming. He’s saying I’m the jerk for forcing his hand and that I could just invite Bella. So AITJ?”
8. AITJ For Not Wanting To Hire A Stay-At-Home Nanny?
“My wife had an accident a few months ago which has her unable to go to work right now or properly care for the kids. Since her spine got severely hurt we are not sure yet if this will cause some sort of permanent disability.
My wife and I both have very supportive parents who are more than willing to help us out with the kids while I work and she recovers. My wife is totally against this idea. She loves and appreciates both mine and her parents but she says she doesn’t want to rely on them.
She suggested hiring a stay-at-home nanny.
Now I’m not against hiring a nanny in general but I’m uncomfortable with the idea of a stay-at-home nanny and having a stranger living in my house. I told her I would love to hire a nanny for the hours I’m working and I can’t help her out but that she doesn’t have to be stay-at-home and she gets to go home once I return from work.
I’ve always done housework so it’s not a strange concept to me to do the housework and care for the kids once I come back from work.
For some reason, my wife won’t have it this way and insists on the nanny to stay at home.
I tell her, again and again, I don’t want a stranger living in my house. I’d rather our parents take shifts and live in our house rather than a stranger. Our parents would also love that. My wife says I am being ridiculous and I have no say on whether we will hire a stay-at-home nanny or not and I have to suck it up and stop being such a dismissive jerk.
I don’t understand how I’m dismissive by saying I’d rather not have a stranger live in our house. AITJ?
Edit: to offer some insight, my wife before the accident had unstable working hours and for the most part since my working hours were stable, most of the housework and child care, would be things I’d do.
So it’s not like I’ll do more work now or do something that is new to me. I told my wife we can indeed hire a nanny but she can go home after I come home from work and doesn’t need to be a live-in nanny.
She won’t have it that way. I didn’t force her to accept our parents’ help I just offered alternatives and she’d disagree on every single one and only insist we hire a live-in nanny and that I have no say in it and she doesn’t care whether I feel uncomfortable or not.”
7. AITJ For Wanting My Husband To Come With Me To Visit My Uncle?
“My husband and I are supposed to go on a camping trip this weekend with a group of his friends. One of his friends and his wife recently purchased a lake lot and invited a group of people over for Memorial weekend.
It’s not a finished lot. There’s a trailer and electricity, but no running water. We have a pop-up camper we purchased a couple of years ago so we were going to bring that so that there’s room for our 2-year-old son and dog.
My husband doesn’t see this group of friends very often as we moved an hour away from a lot of them a few years ago for my career. He sees them maybe 2-3 times a year and only on special occasions like this one, so he’s really been looking forward to it.
I’ve been a little apprehensive as this would be the first time we’ve had our son and dog in the camper, and because in general camping trips are a lot of work and it sounds like this lake lot is pretty primitive.
Well, last weekend my uncle had a heart attack. He’s ok, but he’s still recovering in the hospital. He’s hoping to be released in the next day or so. My dad left my mom when I was little and this uncle took on a fatherly role for me so we are really close.
He lives about 2 hours from us. My mom and other family members are going to visit him this weekend and I want to go with him and spend at least 2 days there. I also want to take my son with me as he doesn’t see my family very often and I want him to build a relationship with them.
This is very important to me.
I told my husband all of this and he told me that I should go see my uncle and spend time with him, but that he still intends on going camping. He said that he can’t exactly come with me because we can’t bring our dog with us (uncle is allergic) and he doesn’t want to just sit at home by himself for the whole weekend.
And the fact that he misses his friends and wants to see them.
I told him that he is being incredibly selfish and that I need him to help support me during this time. I told him we can find someone to watch the dog and that I want him to come with me.
I told him that my uncle’s near-death experience is much more important than his getting wasted with his friends for a weekend. I told him that ultimately the choice is up to him, but that I would never ditch him like this if it was his family member.
That was Sunday night and we haven’t really spoken about it since because I don’t want to bring it up and fight about it. He’s been a lot quieter than he usually is so I know he’s either mad at me for making him choose or he’s thinking hard about it.
I know he’s been really looking forward to this trip since we started planning it months ago. But the circumstances have changed and I want him to be there for me during this time.
I know I will have my family there, and in all honesty, they aren’t always the easiest people to be around. So I know that I am asking a lot of my husband to go from a fun weekend to pretty much the complete opposite for him.”
6. AITJ For Hanging Out With My Friend Without My Wife?
“My wife and I have been together since we were 14 and were both friendless outcasts. She didn’t mind much as she was into gaming and other solitary pursuits, but it was always painful for me. Later on after high school, we moved again to a city where I was able to develop a circle of friends, which my wife (who back then identified as my husband) seemed to have 0 interest in doing.
Recently, my wife came out as trans. And once she did, she was EXTREMELY enthusiastic about being out, and really wanted to experience having lady friends. She never wanted friends in a guy role but was excited about being one of the girls, bonding, gossiping, and doing hair.
So she wanted nights with my friends to do all of that, but at our age (late 20s) we don’t really sit around doing each other’s hair.
Experiencing that was really important to my wife to the point she’d even get hysterical and cry, so I admit I pushed it a little hard on my friends.
I felt if they cared about me/us, what would be the harm in us having a few nights where we had pillow fights and such? I didn’t get much cooperation though which was confusing then, and still is, and it was really devastating to my wife, making her feel that she’d missed out on those experiences forever.
So I will admit I got kind of upset with certain people that I was there for in the past, that a couple of girl’s nights were too much for them to do as a favor for me/us. Unfortunately, this led to me not talking to most of the group anymore.
I was left with pretty much just one friend, Kate, who is a single mother to a daughter, Julie. My wife has never liked Kate and thinks she is really boring, but she was still willing to hang out with us so along we went.
We found that by spending time at Kate’s house, my wife actually did have a fun time with Julie. She spent time playing with Julie and was able to participate in some of the games and activities she missed out on by not growing up as a girl.
I thought it went really well, but afterward, I got a call from Kate asking me not to bring my wife over again, as she said Julie was uncomfortable. Now I don’t believe this as I asked Kate for specifics on what exactly Julie said my wife did that was ‘uncomfortable’ and there was nothing, also all 4 of us were in the same room the whole time, and nothing uncomfortable happened at all.
My wife was also really excited to spend time with them again and I couldn’t bring myself to tell her what Kate had said, so I put off the topic and eventually said I had a falling out with Kate.
But I did secretly go and see Kate because I was struggling with feeling lonely and isolated without my other friends.
Of course, eventually, my wife found out and was devastated and betrayed that I’d go and hang out with someone without her, leaving her excluded and ostracized. I do understand her position but I also don’t know what to do. I still haven’t told her what Kate said.”
5. AITJ For Not Allowing My Daughter To Go To The Music Festival?
“I’m a single dad to 3 kids, oldest is 16. She and I usually get along. For a dad and a 16-year-old, I think it could be a lot worse.
The story starts when for the umpteenth time our Apple iCloud got screwed up.
Apple support hasn’t helped me with this issue, or they haven’t given me a working solution. I’m not a tech guy at all, but what happens is sometimes our texts would show up in each other’s inboxes sometimes. But not on all devices.
I’ve had my younger son’s texts show up on my laptop, my texts show up on my daughter’s phone, etc.
Now I’m usually a trusting dad and I delete these threads without reading them as soon as I notice they’re there, but this time it was different.
This may give away our relative location but whatever, my daughter is planning on attending a certain music fest this weekend with some friends. She has a job and bought her ticket on her own. I originally had no issue, she’s usually responsible.
Well, I saw an interesting message in a thread with her friend that showed up on my phone. The message read ‘We should be able to sneak it in if we hide it well’ so… I snooped. I opened the thread and read it.
I was shocked at what I saw. She was talking about booze. She and her friends are planning on sneaking in booze and substances. So you can assume by this point I’m freaking out. I scroll up to find the outfits my daughter plans on wearing as well.
When I say ‘outfits’ that’s me being very generous because to me it looks like just undergarments, not an outfit.
I decided that I wasn’t going to allow her to go to the festival. I thought about letting her go but making sure she was actually wearing clothes and checking her bag before, but even if her bag is clean when she leaves the house I know she will find a way to get the substances.
I told her no it’s not happening, and I would have never okayed it in the first place if I knew her plans.
She and I haven’t been speaking. She thinks I’m wrong to take away something she spent her own funds on.
I told her it’s not the concert, it’s what she’s planning on doing there I can’t possibly be okay with if I know about it in advance.
She’s asking me if I’m now going to reimburse her for the ticket if I don’t allow her to go.
I don’t think I need to do that either. Maybe I’m being a crappy dad, but we are not that well off. I make enough to provide for my family but not enough to where I can pull 300$ out of my wallet to give her for a concert ticket.
Am I a jerk for doing this? I don’t think there’s a way I can let her go and be confident she won’t be messing around with stuff she shouldn’t be.”
4. AITJ For Wanting My Daughter To Make An Informed Decision About College?
“I (f42) have 2 children with my ex Mike (m47), including Val (f17). She is in her senior year of high school and deciding where she wants to apply for college. We have been lucky enough to save a college fund, totaling $150,000 for Val.
When looking at schools she was interested in, I sat her down and talked her through the process + her fund. (Mike lives in another state but knew we were having this talk). I told her how much she had and discussed different options.
I told her how state schools are typically cheaper, and how she might have to take out a loan if she chose a more ‘prestige school’ or didn’t qualify for scholarships. I told her that if she didn’t spend all the money on schooling, it would still be hers after graduation.
I also brought up how staying close to home would save on living expenses if she didn’t want to live on campus. I wanted her to make an informed decision with all the facts, especially financially. Because of this, Val has looked at a range of state/ivy schools.
Mike called me furious, saying that Val was considering a school close to where I live and that it was only because I had scared her into it by telling her she couldn’t afford other schools. I told him I’d had an age-appropriate conversation about college, finances, and student debt with Val and she was making decisions that are in her best interest, not mine or his.
Before this, Val had considered moving in with her dad as he lived within driving distance of an ivy league school she wanted to go to. Now she is apparently looking at other schools and isn’t as on board with that discussion anymore.
Mike said that I had financially blackmailed her so that she wouldn’t go live with him and that I’d only told her all these things to scare her financially.
Edit: To clarify, both me and Mike went to the same ivy league college (where we met) so I have nothing against those schools and would 100% support Val choosing one of those schools as they have their own advantages. I got an internship due to the school I went to, so I understand and want those connections for my daughter as well.”
3. AITJ For Laughing At My Mother-In-Law For How Long She Does Her Makeup When She's Just Visiting Someone In Jail?
“MIL was going to visit her former boss in prison the other day because he’s been begging her to. She is actually the person who get him arrested so I’m not sure why he wants to see her, but not my business.
MIL spent an hour doing her hair and makeup. Now in general I’d never shame a woman for a little vanity but it was prison. She asked my opinion on her dress and I straight up asked if it was prison or a date.
She snapped at me and stormed off. I told her that it was kind of dumb that she was dressed like that to go to prison. Not to mention she broke the dress code and had to wear a jacket the whole time.
She demanded to know if I called her dumb when she is ‘so much more successful’ than me.
A few days later (after laying in bed for three days and not talking to anyone) she was looking at rings and talking about what kind she liked and I asked what the occasion was and she said her ex-boss wanted her to buy her an engagement ring with his money (I think his brother has his credit cards, I don’t know, it’s all weird), and wear it when he got out.
I asked if she was going to marry him and she said of course not but she still might get an engagement ring ‘just to wear’.
I started laughing because I couldn’t help it and MIL broke down crying and called me a jerk.
I said her life is ridiculous. She ended up screaming at me that I’m a jerk and her son has never loved me and now she won’t talk to me and I honestly feel bad, but in my defense, it is just funny because what even is this situation?”
2. AITJ For Being Jealous Of My Daughter's Closeness With Her Partner's Parents?
“My daughter (32F) and I (69F) are very close. We used to live in the southern part of the US. I divorced her father when she was 13, and then she made the decision to cut him out of her life, so it’s pretty much been just the two of us ever since.
About 9 years ago, she chose to move up to the east coast to look for work after her college graduation. I was supportive and happy when she found something. About 5 years ago, my mom died, so I had no family left in the South.
I wanted to move, and it was either move to the east coast to be near my daughter or move out West to be near my brother and his partner. My daughter said, ‘If you want to move up here, I’m fine with it, but don’t do it just for me, because I’m not attached to this area, so who knows if I’ll stay.’ I said I understood, but decided to move there anyway.
I purchased a condo in the same town, and have lived here ever since.
About 2 years ago, my daughter needed to move out of her apartment because of some issues with her neighbors, and it just so happened that the condo next door to mine became available to rent.
The rent was too good for her to pass up, so she moved in. I love that we live so close.
Anyway, about 8 months ago, she started going out with a man from a town about an hour away. They are planning on her moving in with him (since he owns his house), which means she will be about an hour away from me.
I’m happy for her, and I like her SO, but I’m not going to lie that I’m a little sad about her moving.
Anyway, for the last few months, she has become very short with me on a lot of topics. Like, I asked if her SO is ok with the state of cleanliness that her condo is in (I don’t think she cleans it well enough), and will be fine with his home being like that.
She just blankly stares at me and bluntly says, ‘Yes, he’s been to my place and knows what it looks like.’ Or when I asked if she was going to start making herself look pretty for the day once she has him around all the time (she works from home, and he does for part of the week too).
She, again, just stared at me and bluntly said, ‘He knows what I look like, so I’m fine.’
The other issue is, that his parents live in the same town as him, and the two of them see them all of the time for dinners and such, a lot more than they see me.
I guess some of my jealousy shows on my face because she has commented on it several times, but I just act like everything is fine. All in all, she is making me feel like I am treating her badly recently, by being so short with me and I’m afraid that I’m not ever going to see her after she moves. AITJ?”
1. AITJ For Not Liking The Ring My Fiancé Proposed To Me With?
“I (26f) got engaged to my fiance (25m) last fall. We had been together for 4 years and had decided 6 months in we wanted to get married. We love each other dearly.
I, like many people, have dreamed about my wedding since I was small.
Around high school age, I drew out an engagement ring that I thought I’d like. Basically a silver twig band, with a non-white colorful stone and tiny little stones on the band. Going for an ethereal, elvish vibe cause that’s my taste.
When we started going out and decided we loved each other, I showed him my sketch and he was excited because he said that was what he’d have picked for me.
As life went on, my tastes changed. Around the 1 year mark of our relationship, my ring sketch changed.
I now wanted a rose gold hammered band, with 3 purple/pink raw stones. Every 6 months, my boi and I talked about it and went over the changes. I was so happy with our communication.
Then he proposed with a rose gold twig band with a black raw stone.
Black. He says it’s a blue stone but it looks black in 99% of light.
There were so many things that just didn’t fit my dream about the whole engagement situation, but the ring feels like the straw that has broken my back and I’m questioning if I even want to get married anymore now because my brain is spiraling.
I told him I didn’t like the ring and he was heartbroken. He said he’d had the ring for 6 months and he liked it, but that if I hated it so bad we could try to figure something out. We were going to exchange it but the jeweler won’t take it back because it was custom made.
We’ve talked about just adding a second, more colorful stone but I don’t think that will fix it for me. Now it’s been 6 months and we haven’t talked about it because it puts both of us in such bad moods to talk about it.
I love him with all of my heart, and I know he loves me. Even if we didn’t get married I’d stay with him forever. But every time I look at this ring I just get so freaking sad and I don’t know what to do.”