People Confess Their Bemusing Revenge Stories

It's easy to think you'd just walk away from a situation where someone did you wrong, but until you're actually in that place, you haven't felt the burning desire to give someone a taste of their own medicine. Some people might say that it's best to leave that feeling alone, but others, like the people in these stories, would simply tell you to go straight for the eyes in your plotting of revenge. It's hard to say what you would do given this situation if you haven't been in one before, but one thing is for certain—it's way better when the revenge has already been committed by someone else, and all you have to do is sit back and watch everything unfold before you. In these stories, you'll be hearing confessions from people who have gotten their most baffling revenge yet, and your only responsibility is to judge whether they did the right thing.

36. You Want To Enjoy The Accessibility Seating Now? Sorry, Too Late


“I’m in a wheelchair for a good chunk of time due to a medical condition. My in-laws know this, but rarely (if ever) take accessibility into consideration when we spend time around them. Whether it’s a restaurant, sporting events, shopping, holidays, etc.—it’s always a hassle to spend time around them, because their lack of consideration when it comes to my accessibility needs isn’t taken into account, which ends in my husband and I having to physically struggle to do whatever activity they invited us to.

Several years ago, they invited us to a football game. Like, a really, really big and popular football game. As usual, they failed to consider accessibility needs when booking the tickets. When we got to the stadium, they tried to pull a ‘sucks to be you’ stunt and even attempted to force my husband to leave me alone outside the stadium. Super frustrating. A verbal squabble ensued, and we decided to basically part ways with them; they continued on to their seats, and we made our way to the ticketing section, hoping they’d still have accessible seats available.

We were in luck. Accessible seats were still available. My husband was also in the military, so our tickets were going to be a bit cheaper. As we were explaining our situation to the ticketing agent behind the counter, he put his hands up and refused our payment. Just gave us the tickets for free. Score! Time to grab snacks and food, and then we make our way towards our seats.

As we found our seats, we were pleasantly surprised: our new seats were right down by the field, front and center where all the action was.

At some point during the game, my FIL tried to sneak into the accessibility seating area, and pretended to be ‘part of our party’. We told him no, and tried making him leave; he wouldn’t and tried to be all chummy with us. I guess a security person noticed and told my FIL the policy was one ‘companion’ per disabled person. My ‘companion’ person was obviously my husband.

My FIL and his (now ex) wife had to enjoy the entire game from way up in the bleachers.”

18 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, tcasa2, Rj and 15 more

35. Most Of My Neighbors Are Jerks, So I Only Clean The Nice Neighbors' Driveways


“Most of my neighbors are rude, unfriendly, won’t wave, give dirty looks, bring their dogs to poop in our yard, etc. Overall just not neighborly people. Especially when we’ve introduced ourselves when we’ve moved in, offered help if they ever need it, gave help any time we see they need it without being weird, etc. I’ve helped one neighbor with plumbing because he was doing it wrong with the wrong tools, gave him a press machine, fittings and the correct clamps needed and didn’t ask for anything in return.

I’ve loaned out tools to neighbors that don’t have them. Carry garbage cans out and back in every week for a neighbor that can’t walk well. We try to be good neighborly people and ask for nothing in return. We’ve lived in our house for about 3 years, have about 20 houses on our dead-end street and about 3-4 are decent people.

So I spent $15,000 on a brand new quad with a plow to clear the snow out of our driveway and our decent neighbors’ driveways just to be able to go out when people are shoveling, plow the decent neighbors’ driveways for free and leave without helping the jerks in the freezing cold.

Call me Petty. Tom Petty.”

17 points - Liked by Rj, Haywire, sceri1234 and 14 more

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TigerLilly 1 year ago
This really isn't petty, just being good to your nice neighbors... And there's definitely nothing wrong with that. We need more people like you in this world
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34. Want To Be Obnoxious? Enjoy Having Your Car Reek


“I used to live in a small house, on a small block with very narrow front lawns, with neighbors very close by.

The family over the road had the 2 parents and 5 boys from about 18 down to 7.

They were loud, obnoxious, and their way was right. Always doing burnouts, revving their 4cyl cars with straight pipes, etc. They had a dozen cats that would be out all night, peeing on everything, killing birds and other wildlife.

I turned the hose on 2 cats I saw in my garden. The mum saw it and wasn’t the least bit happy. I just waved at her.

They would occasionally send the youngest over to try to talk to me about Jesus and he would tell me I am going to burn for my sins.

Anyway, mum had a car, dad had a car, the 2 eldest had a car each and there was a project car.

Nowhere near enough space for these cars, so they would park 1 or 2 up the road at a park and walk down.

One day one son decided to park on my front lawn. No biggie. One or two days won’t matter. I’m pretty accommodating.

A few days later it was still there. I saw the dad and said I needed the car moved. It was moved, and I mowed the lawn.

It was a very nice lawn. Green, thick, healthy. One of the better ones on my street.

That afternoon, the car was back on my freshly mowed lawn. This isn’t going to resolve itself.

I saw them again the next day and said they can’t keep parking on my lawn. They have their own space, or keep parking up the street. ‘You’ve only got 1 car. We have 5 cars, we need the space.’

Yep, well the park is a 1-minute walk away, keep parking there.

The car was parked back on my lawn again. I saw the dad (never saw the son) and said he needs to move the car. I’m doing some gardening and don’t want to damage it, and don’t want it in my way.

‘It will be alright,’ he told me. Like heck it will.

So I got out bags of blood and bone and threw out heaps of it.

It stank. In the garden, on the lawns, some got on the car. Whatever. Dad said it would be fine. It stunk.

Being a petty individual at times, this being one of them I got a bottle of fart spray called liquid butt out of the house. I opened the lid and poured a little along the base of the windscreen, where the aircon intake is. Then a little more.

I had a chuckle and put the sprinkles on and went inside. About 30 minutes later son gets in his car to go out. I hear him go ‘Awww what the heck’ and he slammed his car door and drove off.

The son never said anything to me, but the dad was pretty upset. He told me how much the car stank from whatever it was I did to my garden, and the son was ticked off because some girl he liked wouldn’t get in the car with him.

I just said it’s ok, it will be alright. He stopped parking there after that.”

17 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, tcasa2, Rj and 14 more

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Thejud 1 year ago
Why not just tow the car?
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33. Tried To Steal My Income? I'll Expose You In Front Of Family


“I (21F) live with my mom (56F) and sister (25F). I work part-time and clean houses on my off days to pay for school, rent, and other necessities. So my savings are about 12k. My mom and sister have well-paying jobs but can never budget and have bad spending habits.

I recently found out that my safe disguised as a book was missing. I put my income in a safe book in a hidden area because my sister and mother had 2 incidents of taking funds from me.

I forgave them but I’m not stupid as they will jump at the chance again. So all my funds are bent at the right-hand corner, I have pictures and videos of them bent, numbers of some bills, safe and being bent.

Furthermore, I found it broken open in the garage bin covered and wrapped in cardboard. My cousin (24F) was over the other day and I said hi to her in the kitchen and she was carrying the same cardboard (it was from a ginger ale box) going to the backyard with my mom and sister outside already.

I just came into the kitchen to wash my hands and go upstairs and shower as I came home from school and was on the bus.

I decided to check the wallets of my mom and sister and there were the bills with the bent corners. I took pictures and videos. As I came up with a plan to be petty.

The next day, my extended family was at my aunt’s sitting around and talking.

I asked my cousin what she was doing with the cardboard at my mom’s house with my sister and her. She said she was helping my mom spray paint some frames. My mom likes to refurbish furniture. I said okay, then I got up to get my bag (with the broken book safe) and grabbed my sister’s and mother’s wallets.

I came back and dropped the broken book safe in front of my cousin (my sister was close by) I asked her if she knew what this was.

She had a surprised look on her face but said nothing. I then turned to my sister and said you definitely know what this is. By then everyone was watching. Next, I showed my family all the pics and videos. I even open their wallets in front of the family showing my funds with the bent corners on them. One picture clearly showed the numbers on those bills matched the ones in the wallet.

My cousin’s mom started going off on her daughter for stealing from family. Most were speechless. But my mom, sister, and cousin tried everything to defend themselves. I then stated I’m being generous by not going to the police right away and giving them a month to return what they owe. Also that I’m moving out. I apologized to my aunt for the trouble. Then I went home and added a lock and chain on my bedroom door.

Since then I have spoken to some family members. But some have said I went overboard and there were less dramatic ways of doing this.”

17 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, tcasa2, Rj and 14 more

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StumpyOne 1 year ago
They wouldnt have learned anything if you'd been "less dramatic".
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32. You Dumped All The Snow On My Car? Enjoy The Snow Piled Up On Your Driveway


“I live in NYC and park my car on the street as most people do. I had a Mustang GT and we were supposed to get a blizzard.

I parked my Mustang, in front is a driveway and behind is another car. We got like 15-18 inches of snow. I expected to have to dig my car out and front to be dug in from the driveway.

The person who owns the driveway and the house decided to hire day laborers and remove every snowflake from not only the driveway but his front and back yard and dumped it all on my car. It took me 90 mins just to get to the door.

As I was digging out he comes out and laughs and says, ‘Yeah I hired a few guys to remove snow and didn’t think I’d have a spot for it.’

I was so mad and ready to fight but my friend decided he had a better idea.

We rented a Bobcat skid steer loader and waited for the night. At around 11 PM, we went out, dug every car out on the block and took all the snow, dumped it in front of the driveway on city property, and packed it. The snow hill must have been 10 feet.

Next morning I was hanging out by my car waiting for him to exit and I replied ‘I didn’t have any other place to dump the snow at.’

The hill was there from February till mid-June. Once it froze it took forever to melt, he essentially wasn’t able to drive out till it melted.

Years later, haven’t seen him do that to anyone else again.”

15 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, tcasa2, Rj and 12 more

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WayneD 1 year ago
That was awesome.
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31. My Grandfather Won't Sell His Land And I Intend To Keep His Legacy


“Development has been taking over my home town. It’s inevitable of course as a lot of people from major cities further up north are moving down here, but it’s sad at the same time seeing the fields and forests I used to play in growing up being paved over and turned into condominiums and strip malls.

It has also caused the cost of living to increase tremendously, in an area where many people are already struggling to stay afloat, so as you can imagine, my grandfather, an old stubborn Dutchman who moved here and lived on this property since the 50s, has something to say about it.

The street my grandfather lives on used to be backed by a massive forest, but in recent years, developers have bought all of the forest and 90% of it has been torn down except for this one, small, probably 2-acre chunk of forest in the middle of this open field where my grandfather refuses to sell his land. Of course, this is bringing the developers’ plans to a halt as they can’t pave and build around this single chunk of forest, so all they can really do is wait for him to sell his land.

He has been in conflict with these developers for over a year now, and from my understanding, they are offering a lot of money.

Well, knowing my grandfather, for as long as he stands on this earth, absolutely no amount of money will convince him to sell that land. I know how frustrating this is for some people, specifically the developers who want nothing more than to throw up some cardboard houses and pocket close to a mill per, but I have decided that when my grandfather’s time is up, I will continue his legacy and make sure that piece of land is never sold. That is my petty revenge.”

14 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, Phoenixlight22, tcasa2 and 11 more

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StumpyOne 1 year ago
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30. Try To Steal My Apartment From Under Me? Not Going To Happen


“Okay, so back in the mid-90s I was a single guy in my late 20s. I was a man child, I admit. I was working but just enough to pay rent and go drinking every night. I have since gotten married and kids and a house, yadda, yadda.

Anyway, there were these two ladies my age at the bar where I was a regular that just had their roommate move out abruptly.

I was looking to move to something cheaper and this place was a unicorn. $350 a month for a 3 bedroom place, close to everything. It wasn’t the greatest place, but far from horrible. That’s $350 divided 3 ways! Plus, the heat and electric were paid for by the doctor’s office below us. I was paying that alone plus utilities so heck yeah! I moved in.

So day 1 and the ladies have me sign the lease. I knew it was kind of bull crap right away as they had a copy of the lease with the old roommate’s name whited out and had me sign. I was NEVER to contact the landlord myself. Sus? Sure, whatever. Here’s $200 for deposit and first month’s rent.

The ladies were a bit quirky. They were LAZY! Sure they were fun and all but they seemed to think that they owned me.

They’d ask me where I have been, who I was seeing, why I didn’t get in until 6 AM (I worked swing shift). Lots of little things like being on AOL instant messenger (no cells at this point) all night and day, tying up the phone lines, leaving garbage and other crap in the common areas, dirty dishes, etc. I actually didn’t really care except they would have the nerve to scold me for leaving out my shoes or coat or whatever in the midst of their mess.

I made a point of never leaving my stuff out, but occasionally I would and they would mention it. Plus a cousin of the one roommate stayed there 2-5 times a week, which again was annoying but whatever. Rent was cheap and I barely saw them.

The best part would be in passive-aggressive notes, like ‘Hey, please don’t leave your shoes out by the couch I almost tripped on them this morning!’

There was clutter everywhere and they’d be complaining about my shoes! They’d have weeks’ worth of dishes everywhere and my shoes were the problem! OK, whatever.

I could write a book about the crazy but let’s move on.

It got really bad when I met the person that became my wife. They were a bit jealous and tried regularly to break us up. She called one morning (the ring woke me up). The ladies answered the phone, saying that I never came home last night after meeting some girl at the bar. I called her later and she told me this, laughing the whole time.

She knew it was bull crap since she dropped me off for the night shift the night before. There were a lot of similar stories like this, but on to the main story.

The lease was up in a month and they decided to get another apartment and I would have to move out. I asked if I could take over the rent and they said that the landlord already leased it to someone else.

OK, sure.

So, I finally call the landlord myself. She tells me that she only knew I was living there because she got my check every month (I made them go out to deposit and the roommates were too lazy to deposit the check beforehand). She said that no, she has not leased out the apartment and hadn’t gotten any notice from the ladies that they were moving out yet, but the one cousin that stayed over often was wanting to sign.

It was obvious to me that the landlord did not like these women and I asked if I could have first dibs. Furthermore, they were trying to ‘steal’ the lease from under me and give it to the cousin. I asked and received a letter from her giving me first dibs on the apartment.

A couple of days later I come home from my shift and there is an opened mail on the table to me from the landlord with the ‘first dibs’ letter sitting there (They opened my mail), along with a bitter 3-page note about how could I do this to them, why did I contact the landlord, I am a horrible person, etc.

I laughed and read it to my now-partner and future wife. She laughed along with me.

The next few weeks were, cold? One-word answers to questions, no mention of the note or moving out. They did give notice and I promptly signed a real lease with only my name on it and paid 3 months upfront just because I could. A few weeks later I came home to find 3 bags of garbage and 2 empty bedrooms.

THEY WERE GONE! I had a 3 bedroom apartment to myself for $350 a month! Oh, the after-hours parties we had!

I lived there 2 more years, one as a married man with a kid on the way. We sadly had to get a better place and I had to give up my unicorn apartment, but I’ll never forget screwing over them before they could do it to me.”

14 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, tcasa2, Rj and 11 more

29. Won't Take No For An Answer? Make It A Double


“I was a bartender a couple of years ago and experienced some form of harassment each time I clocked into work. This came with the territory unfortunately and there was little support from management when it came to dealing with the creeps so we had to get creative with solutions. After a particularly grueling work week, my coworkers convinced me to go out with them to check out another local beach bar that I hadn’t been to before.

This bar had some fun drinking games available with some great deals on drinks so we were all having a good time. After my 2nd drink, I was starting to feel a bit more sociable and strayed a bit from my original group and joined some friendly strangers for a game of beer pong.

Halfway through the game, a guy that I hadn’t noticed that night asked me if he could buy me a drink.

I politely declined and continued my game. 10 minutes later he returns with one and offers it to me. I hadn’t given him a drink order before so to me this seemed like he had been watching me for at least an hour to see what I had ordered at my last visit to the bar. I tell him no thanks and that I’m set for drinks the rest of the night.

He stood there within 15 feet of me as we finished our particularly long game of beer pong. At the end, he offers me the same drink that has now been watered down. I say no but a bit more firmly and walk past him.

About 30 minutes later I’m at the bar with my coworkers again and he finds himself an empty seat, right next to me.

At first, he sits quietly, which I’m thankful for because he is really starting to annoy me. When he finishes his drink (the old one he offered before) he asks the bartender for two more saying the second would be for me. The bartender looks at me for approval and in my buzzed state, my petty gears start turning. I put on my biggest smile and say yeah okay but I don’t want that, I’d like a tequila shot actually.

The creep looks annoyingly smug that I finally accepted his advances, that is until I ask the bartender what his most expensive shot of tequila would be. The bartender looks amused and said his most expensive would ring in at about $50. The creep then starts to look nervous and I ask him if that would be a problem, he tries to cover his nerves and says, ‘My wallet isn’t an issue.’

To that, I smile and ask for a double.

I gladly take my glorious double shot of tequila, thank him for his generosity, and walk away with my friends. I enjoyed the rest of my night with no further issues from him.”

13 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, tcasa2, sceri1234 and 10 more

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lasm1 1 year ago
Good for you, on a side note, never accept a drink from a stranger, who knows what the hell he would have put in it
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28. I Had Horrible Roommates, So My Revenge Was Hot And Sizzling


“I got an entry-level career position and moved to a university town in another state. This was in February when all the cheap apartments had been filled at the start of the school semester. I ended up taking over a housing contract from a guy who’d just failed out of school and was moving back in with his parent. I suddenly found myself rooming with the worst of five other guys living in a three-bedroom off-campus apartment, while I was starting a new financial analyst position.

Turned out, I had just inherited the roommate from the sixth circle of the Underworld. I had his dream job, even though I hadn’t gone to his ‘elite’ private school. I wasn’t making ‘insane’ money, but I wasn’t living on ramen noodles like a lot of college students were. I had a paid-for vehicle, was engaged to be married later that year, and I wasn’t playing the social and mind games that made up local university life.

His jealousy got transparent very quickly. I’d come home from work to find him going through my groceries, picking out stacks of items he wanted for himself, then he claimed I had a ‘duty to help the less fortunate.’ I started buying just enough groceries for a day at a time. I had a 6 AM meeting at work one morning and went to bed earlier the night before.

He barged in at 2 AM, turned on the light, turned on the stereo, and proceeded to talk on the phone for two hours.

He eventually escalated. I found the shards of a broken light bulb at the side of my bed one morning. He was hoping I’d cut my feet when getting up. My clothing would suddenly all be damp with a strong smell of urine.

He worked for campus security, and I started receiving notices for parking fines, even though I never had the slightest reason to be on his campus. I straightened that out with a phone call, and he got fired. Fortunately for him, he found work as a telemarketer within two days.

At the end of his semester, I’d found a ‘normal’ place to stay, and everyone was getting ready to move out.

I plotted my petty revenge.

I told the four other guys in the apartment that the following Thursday night, I’d be providing dinner. Special, even. Bring significant others. I knew that my roommate didn’t get paid until Friday, and the guy was dead freaking broke. He’d burned through his groceries and was bumming rides to campus and work because he couldn’t pay for gas. Not two dimes to his name, and his checking account was blowing bubbles.

Thursday night, I kept it simple but fantastic, especially for college students. Fillet steaks wrapped in bacon with horseradish peppercorn sauce. Fresh-baked French bread with olive oil and balsamic vinegar for dipping. Spinach salad with a warm bacon vinaigrette. Salt-baked potatoes with sour cream and fresh chives. Chocolate lava cake with vanilla ice cream. Just five guys, four girls, packed around the table enjoying a hot meal.

The telemarketer was NOT invited.

He came home from the telemarketing job. Walked in the door, saw dinner in progress, and asked what the occasion was. ‘Just dinner. I thought you had work. Sorry – didn’t get a steak for you.’

He grabbed his last pack of ramen noodles. Heated the water in the microwave, and said in an over-dramatic voice, ‘Sure wish I had some veggies, or an egg to stir into this.’

One of the other guys said, ‘Yeah, that’s a real shame.’

Telemarketer Boy headed to the living room with his ramen.

Every couple of minutes he’d make a puppy-dog-face at us, and comment how wonderful everything smelled. I didn’t have to say a word. The rest of the group would pipe up with ‘Oh, this is wonderful.’ ‘Tastes amazing.’ ‘This guy needs to open a restaurant.’

Telemarketer Boy was done in four minutes, took his dishes to the sink, and headed for his room. One of the other guys yelled ‘Don’t leave your dishes in the sink, dude. Your mom doesn’t work here.’

That weekend, everyone moved out. I had to retrieve several of my pots and pans from the trunk of his car. Never saw him again, but had to occasionally tell the local telemarketers to put my number on the Do-Not-Call list.”

13 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, tcasa2, Haywire and 10 more

27. Steal My Drink? Try Drinking It With Habaneros


“My fiance has a co-worker who is a heavy drinker to the fullest. Without booze, it seems he can’t function so he’s got a problem, to say the least. Well, my fiance likes to drink as well but in his free time & off of work.

Well, his boss hosts weekly cool-out nights for all the workers to chill & just relax. These past weeks my fiance has brought his bourbon & it’s always had booze stolen out of it.

We didn’t think much of it because all the boys seem to share their drinks & whatnot but it always seems to be his bottle that gets the most taken from.

His boss put up cameras recently in his house & when nobody was paying attention he saw that this one co-worker was taking an absurd amount of shots out of his bottle. We already assumed it was him but we just didn’t know so now we had proof.

The next week my fiance put habanero juice in his booze to test the waters because he was just trying to see if the co-worker was going to do it again. Sure enough, when everyone was playing ping pong on the back deck, the co-worker tries to take some shots. All we hear is gagging & coughing. Well, the co-worker messed up. He’s telling everyone his throat hurts & feels like it’s on fire saying ‘what the heck is this??’ Needless to say, the co-worker never drank from my fiance’s bottle again.”

12 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, tcasa2, Rj and 9 more

26. This Little Girl Was Rude So I Took Back Her Birthday Present


“I am 24f and at the time of this story, I was about 9 years old. I had an across-the-street neighbor that was around my age. We lived in military housing and the parents regularly made the kids get together to keep ‘friends’ because we moved around so much.

Anyway, I was invited to a Barbie sleepover birthday party with 2 other girls. Sorry to mention race but it’s relevant to the story – I am mixed and the other girls were white.

The day before the party we picked out a skip-it to gift to the birthday girl. The day of the party my mom got me packed for the sleepover and sent me across the street.

The party itself went great. We had cake, danced to music, the birthday girl opened her gifts and LOVED the one I got her. Then we started to get settled to watch a movie.

That’s when things took a turn. I noticed the other girls laughing at me and whispering to each other. Then the birthday girl finally said ‘actually your mom said you can’t stay the night because you are dirty and need to go home to take a bath.’ Those words have stuck with me to this day.

I was confused but I believed her. I was 9 and it was her party.

So I grabbed my things and walked back to my house. Naturally, my mom questioned me when I got home and I told her what the birthday girl said. My mom was not happy. We walked back over, informed the parents, and I took back the birthday present. My mom told me it was mine now.

Me being a savage 9 year old played outside with my brand new skip-it while birthday girl watched me from her upstairs window.”

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25. Fire Me For No Reason? Have Fun With The Endless Sales Calls


“More than a decade ago I worked at a health food store while I was in college. It was a relatively low-stress job that paid a low wage. But, I enjoyed it. I never knew that the owner wasn’t happy with my performance. They never bothered to speak with me. However, the day before I graduated from school, and with my entire family in town, they went ahead and fired me.

No reason. Just said they didn’t think I was working out. I was heartbroken, and worst of all, confused.

I’ve mostly forgotten about my time there, except for the past year.

In my professional job now I’ve received a number of promotions. That’s been fun. But it’s also come with a huge surge in unwanted salespeople reaching out to me on a daily basis.

In my annoyance, I’ve developed an absolutely crazy habit: I tell the exceptionally irritating salespeople (those who persist after I tell them no) to give me a call to discuss what they’re offering, only instead of giving them my number, I give them the number to the health food store that let me go all those years ago.

I started doing this at the beginning of 2021, and so far I’ve given their number out to 94 hungry salespeople, many of whom reported back that they and the health food store were both angry and asked me to grow up (fair enough).

But for me, it kills two birds with one stone: reminding the health food store that fired me for no reason that I’m now a vice president, and also wasting the time of salespeople who literally won’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

I know. It’s petty as heck.”

12 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, Rj, Haywire and 9 more

24. My Cat Became Obsessed With My Pregnant Wife, So I Hatched My Plan For Revenge


“Ever since my wife became pregnant, our cat has become obsessed with sitting on her. I will be sitting next to my wife on the couch, empty lap covered with a warm blanket, and this jerk will walk right across my lap to lightly tap on her arm, indicating that she should put her laptop away so he can sit there.

This also extends to bedtime, where he will spend most of the night being King of the Hill curled up on her belly or hip.

He is very comfy and pleased to be there, and there is very little that would convince him to move.

Not even, for example, if he has to cough up a hairball. No, he’ll just do it where he is! And if my cat is King of the Hill, guess who lives in the Valley underneath? That’s right: me. Specifically, my arm.

So that’s how last night at 3:00 AM would find me quietly trying to scrub cat vomit off of my arm and the blanket while also quietly swearing at the cat, who showed no remorse.

But I had a trick up my sleeve.

See, my wife has a natural instinct that when she senses me roll over in bed, she changes positions as well. Knowing this trick has been useful in the past. For instance, if she’s snoring, I can get her to adjust her position and breathe better without even having to wake her up.

So I finish cleaning, get back in bed, and wait.

Sure enough, within a few minutes, he’s back on top of the hill. I wait long enough for him to settle down and get nice and comfy, and when he’s all tucked in and happy as can be, the time has come for revenge.

I roll.

Oh no! A natural disaster has occurred, and an avalanche has thrown the King off of his throne into the valleys below!

He climbs back up again and settles down.

I roll.

Earthquakes! The ground moves beneath him and the King falls once again!

Disaster after disaster befalls the kingdom! Oh, the humanity! (Okay, I only did it like three times).

Was it petty? Yes. Did it delay my own getting back to sleep? Also yes. Was it satisfying? Heck yes.

I love my furry little gremlin, but seriously, screw you.”

11 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, RLTexas8115, Joliesissi and 9 more

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StumpyOne 1 year ago
This one is THE BEST!! 😀
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23. Won't Let Me Take My Furniture? Good Luck Tracking Down Those Screws


“My ex and I broke up. We lived together. I sold most of my furniture to keep his, and we used those funds to buy new things for the apartment like décor & bar stools for the kitchen. He not only wanted to keep all of his furniture but 50% of the stuff we bought together. Tried to explain that everything became ours 50/50 when I sold my stuff to keep his.

It wasn’t worth fighting over, he was being pretty vindictive, so I said screw it and let him take it all. I ended up with a desk, a rug, 2 bar stools, and some kitchen and décor items. He took all the electronics including the TV, couch, coffee table, tv stand, bed, bedframe, etc. All of the really important and/or expensive items. He also returned all the gifts he got me for Christmas/my bday but kept his Christmas gifts (more like, left me the boxes but took the items out of them).

My petty revenge… Most of the furniture was Ikea. All of it being built with hex keys. I helped him disassemble his furniture for the movers. Then, I took his entire bag of hex keys and hardware (the screws and whatnot). He put the furniture in storage so he won’t notice for another month at least. Replacing the hex keys is pretty simple, but good luck tracking down the exact screws and brackets and etc.!”

Another User Comments:

“What’s really cool about this, is if he’s strategically incompetent, it won’t occur to him (nor will he make the effort) to simply call up IKEA and get the tools and hardware to put the furniture back together for free.” Accomplished_Sun_258


“Yup he’s absolutely strategically incompetent, so he’ll likely either buy them for outrageous prices on eBay or get a mixed bag from home Depot and hope for the best.” Upper_Stranger8219

10 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, tcasa2, Haywire and 7 more

22. Screw Me Out Of My Deposit? I Don't Feel Inclined To Help You


“Many years ago I rented an apartment for two years and never had any issues, always paid rent on time. At the time I used an online bank that didn’t issue checkbooks so I would enter a check amount and the recipient online and the bank would print it up and mail it out. This is how I paid my rent and these checks expired 90 days after the date they were written for.

Anyways, after I moved out I had to pester my landlord for about two months to get my security deposit back which was the same as one month’s rent. I called and texted him dozens of times and never got a response. So one day on the first of the month I staked out my old building because I knew he always came to collect the rent checks that people would slip into the mail slot.

When he showed up I confronted him and he told me he hadn’t gotten back to me because he was in the hospital with a heart attack and that he would not be giving my deposit back because the cupboards were dirty (they weren’t, I wiped down every surface) and there was some mold above the shower (which was true but it was minimal and the paint and drywall were not damaged).

He told me I should have told him about the mold and he would have handled it before it got that bad.

I probably could have challenged it somehow but I was young, it was my first time renting, and I was unfamiliar with renter’s rights.

Fast forward another month or two and he calls me up and tells me one of my rent checks bounced. I told him that’s impossible because the funds are placed on hold as soon as the check is printed.

Then he changes his story and says his secretary lost the check behind the desk and they found it more than 90 days later.

I told him he should have told me he lost the check and I would have canceled it and sent a new one but since he held on to my security deposit for no legitimate reason I was not feeling inclined to help him. I hung up and never heard from him again.”

10 points - Liked by Rj, sceri1234, leonard216 and 8 more

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Haywire 1 year ago
This story makes no sense. How do you get a security deposit back or warrant one if you're still renting from the same landlord? Makes no sense.
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21. My Group Members Were Incompetent, So I Did All The Work Myself


“Backstory: I dropped out of college after a couple of semesters and joined the Navy for 5 years then returned to college after my enlistment. During my 2nd attempt at college, I took a Usability class where we focused on making websites and documents more intuitive. In the class we had a semester-long group project where we were to find a website, draft a long document going over all the issues the site had, and provide solutions with usability testing performed and recorded in a lab, culminating in a presentation to the class with our group.

I was part of a 5 person group. I was thinking, ‘Great, that means more people to break up what’s needed.’ Boy was I wrong.

My group consisted of 1 other guy and three girls. Our weakest link turned out to be one of the girls. I’m pretty sure here elevator didn’t hit the top floor and she even admitted this was the only class she was taking to raise enough of a GPA to graduate.

At this time I was doing IT/website work for family and friends as a side hustle. One of these websites was kind of rough and hard to navigate for being a health food-to-go business.

I brought this website and customer to the group and pitched that we would have a real website and company that could utilize the changes we suggest. Another teammate presented a website for a hipster restaurant in Austin whose website had two chicks in a bathtub as one of the slide show photos.

I’m no prude but this being a college in west Texas I just thought it probably wasn’t the best choice. Maybe I’m a jerk but I persuaded the group to use my website.

Fast forward halfway through the semester and the group member who suggested the other website wants to go to the professor and kick out the dumb girl. ‘Mean girl’ tries to tell me, a veteran, that ‘in the real world’ we wouldn’t have to deal with this incompetence or some crap like that.

I literally laughed at her and said I’ve been in the ‘real world’ and you will always have some idiot you have to drag along on a team to get things done. She didn’t like this so the other 3 members went to the professor. She called us all in one at a time and when she got to me she asked if I wanted to make the dumb girl do her own project since she wasn’t pulling her weight.

I said no since that’s crappy to make someone start over halfway through so I got to keep the work we started and just gave the dumb girl simple tasks.

The project continues, we get recorded usability tests done and create our presentation. I’m able to get the owners of the business whose website we used to come to our presentation. It went great and the owners asked me to make the changes as soon as possible.

My old group’s presentation was garbage as they went with the hipster restaurant websites.

After all the drama the professor told me I had the best presentation and she was happy we had actual customers to present to. When she asked how much work the dumb girl did I flat out lied and said she actually helped a bunch. The dumb girl later told me she just barely had a high enough grade to graduate.”

10 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, RLTexas8115, tcasa2 and 8 more

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jega 1 year ago
Awesome choice you made. I am sure 'dumb girl' appreciated it. You were the better person for that decision too.
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20. My Dad Cut Through My Socks, So I Did The Same To His


“I was rather strong-willed as a young teenager (roughly 12/13 years old). Going to school and adhering to a school uniform (UK) during the week was a normality. Sock-Gate began one morning when I couldn’t find any black socks in my drawer – this was a particular issue when my only alternative was white ones. It was at this moment I decided to check my Dad’s sock drawer for a pair and there I found plenty of black socks but each one strangely cut–from the top of the sock sliced down to the ankle.

I decided to brace school with a pair of white socks and deal with the inevitable banter/stick/ribbing I’d get. It wasn’t that bad but still not a fun day.

Upon getting home, I questioned my Dad why so many of his socks were purposely cut down to the ankle.

His response: ‘The elastic part on the sock feels like it strangles my ankle/leg so I cut them, they’re my socks anyway so get your own.’

A fair response if not a bit strange.

After begging my mum to be taken to a JJB sports or some other sports shop I decided to buy some black Wilson branded socks. I returned home, safe in the knowledge that I wouldn’t have to cross this bridge again, also showed said new socks to my dad for extra measure.

It wasn’t until a few months later when due to clean/dirty washing I once again had no socks for school – the same process as above occurred.

This time however I found several pairs of ‘W’ socks in my dad’s sock drawer and all of them were cut. I was mad. Once again wearing white socks to school with the same outcome.

Upon my dad getting home from work I confronted him about why my ‘W’ socks had been cut and his reply was ‘They shouldn’t have been put in my drawer if they weren’t mine, if they’re in there I’ll cut them to how I like them.’

It was at this point a devilish little lightbulb moment occurred.

Fine. I’ll play by your rules but those socks were mine and mine only.

Before going to bed that night I found every single pair (the majority~ 8 pairs) of ‘W’ socks that had been cut and decided to further improve them. Some I chopped the toes off, others I removed the heel. I placed these in his drawer (he’d recently had a clear-out and the older ones had been thrown away so my new and improved ‘W’ socks were more or less all he had to wear that day).

The next morning comes round and I can hear what I can only describe as my Dad absolutely going ‘off on one’. ‘What the heck? And another one!? Have you been at my socks? (To my mum) This is ridiculous. And another pair?!’

Suddenly it dawned on him and the stomping came to my room very very quickly.

‘OP, what have you done my socks!? Where are my socks!?’

Me: ‘Done what Dad?’

‘You’ve cut every toe/heel on each sock! I know it’s you.’

It was at this point I heard laughter coming from my Mum and a big grin appeared on my face.

Me: ‘They’re my socks Dad, they have the W on them, didn’t you know I like my socks without toes or heels?’

‘You’ve seriously ruined them just for this.’

Me: ‘What were they doing in your drawer?’

‘I’ve got no socks and I’m going to be late for work, now where are my socks?’

Me: ‘You threw YOUR socks away remember, thanks for keeping mine though… and anyway, they’re my socks…


He wore yesterday’s dirty socks that day and very shortly new packs of generic and ‘W’ socks were bought (by my Mum). The sock armistice was agreed upon later that day/evening.

Suffice to say he never touched my socks again and subsequent ‘W’ socks were safe from his sock-cutting oddness. Years on we still laugh our heads off at this although he sometimes tries to maintain that he thought my Mum had bought them for him….. because his ‘M’ socks were perfect for ‘OP’s dad’s name begins with M.'”

9 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, Joliesissi, tcasa2 and 6 more

19. My Neighbors Never Cleaned Up Their Property, So I Forced Them To Do It


“I live in a 3 unit condo (something I don’t recommend to anyone!), and my neighbors are pretty much a waste of space. Not only do they simply refuse to do any kind of property clean up or maintenance, but will often ‘forget’ to pay their condo fees, which leads to a lot of un-needed unpleasantness.

I do all the yard work but have stopped cleaning up the leaves in the driveway after they said it didn’t need to be done when I asked them to chip in.

When it comes to snow shoveling, everyone has some kind of injury that prevents them from lifting a finger. They are all relatively young, 100% able-bodied people in their 30s/40s. At this point, I am tired of being exploited, so I do the minimum and let everything else go. We had our first snowstorm a few weeks ago, and I was literally the only person who did any shoveling to clear the sidewalk and get my car out of the driveway.

We are in Boston, and yesterday was a huge blizzard. Our snowblower has been broken for two years and nobody has made any arrangements to replace it despite my asking about it. I knew we’d get a ton of snow, so I hired a guy to do the snow-blowing, and found a spot on the street for my car just in case. This morning I dug out my car with the help of a next-door neighbor who is actually a nice guy.

The snowblower guy showed up and did a great job, but I noticed that he didn’t go all the way to the back fence, where the jerks park their van. I knew they’d make a big stink about it, so I asked him if he could get closer to the fence. He told me the leaves break the snow blower, so no go.

So, my parking space was cleared with funds from the condo fund, and they had to clear out snow and leaves to be able to pull their car in.”

9 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, Haywire, sceri1234 and 7 more

18. My Husband Wants His T-Shirts A Certain Way, So I Fold Them Inside Out


“My dear husband can be quite retentive about his T-shirts. He doesn’t like that they get creased in the drawers and he can’t see the logos to choose what to wear.

So he goes out and buys a T-shirt folder. You’ve probably seen them used by Sheldon on that one TV show. And expects me to use it. (FYI: I do really think it’s a good way of storing tops, it’s just that using the folder is another chore I’m expected to share.)

So I remove all his T-shirts from the drawer, fold them, and put them back. But I make sure every one of them is inside-out so he can’t tell which is which without taking them out and turning them right-side out.

He never said anything to me about it. I’ve done this 4 times now. This morning he told me to leave his clean T-shirts on the bed and he’ll put them away in the future.

Mission accomplished.”

9 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, tcasa2, rbleah and 7 more

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lasm1 1 year ago
Grow up.
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17. Act Like I'm Incompetent? Okay, I'll Pretend To Be


“So this is really small and petty, but it turned my whole day around and made me so happy.

I drive a boom truck for work, and my journeyman and I had just finished breaking the truck down. We were loading up our tools and cleaning up our work area. We were in a parking lot blocking the lane to the exit, but there was enough space at the entrance to exit and it wasn’t marked exit only.

Nobody had had any issues with it when our stuff was set up and our cones were out.

We had JUST picked up our traffic cones and some lady rolls up in a big lifted truck and starts gesturing like she’s annoyed and wants us to move out of the way. My journeyman motions for her to just go around, and she just motions like ‘what the heck.’ So I get yelled at, my journeyman tells me to hurry up and get in the truck because this lady wants us to move.

I hop in and pull up to the exit which is right at a busy intersection.

I turned to my coworker and said, ‘Wouldn’t it suck if I killed the engine trying to pull out?’

He laughed and said, ‘Yeah.’

I then asked if he would get mad if I intentionally stalled it, and he said no. So I waited for a break in traffic where our truck and the lady’s truck could get out and pretended to go then stalled it. I waited a little before starting the truck back up and went just in time for us to get out and for the lady to get stuck behind us waiting for the next break in traffic. It was so nice.”

9 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, tcasa2, sceri1234 and 6 more

16. Tell My Soldier's Wife He Died In Combat? Enjoy Jail


“This occurred back in the late 2000s in Iraq. I was a mere Squad leader just bee-bopping along trying not to accidentally go boom. I had two team leaders and six soldiers under me, so for those who struggle with math that makes 8. Which is irrelevant information.

In any event, one day we were tasked with looking for things that go boom. Well, we didn’t find it because it found us…

It was the worst of the things that can explode on you, an EFP (explosively formed projectile) which once it penetrates the armor is like being trapped in a confined space with a red hot porcupine (if you don’t die from the heat, but that’s neither here nor there). We had been hit by 3 at one time.

Well, one hit and went under my seat and cleared through the other side, another hit the engine while the third managed to hit the tail of the RG33.

I regain consciousness after maybe 2 minutes or so. I come to feel the 50cal rocking the truck & brass occasionally hitting me. My gunner was getting busy turning the trigger man into an orangish-red mist & returning fire. I assessed the damage and confirmed no one was seriously injured and tried to call up a sit-rep. Well, surprise surprise, my radios were trashed.

Apparently, some nosy mouth breather at BN thought we were KIA (killed in action) because apparently, they saw the whole thing by drone.

It took me a bit to get back up radio working because it too took a beating and I could barely see through the black/gray smoke plus we were actively engaged and laughing our butts off. So I was more concerned with keeping positive control of my guys as opposed to hyper-focusing on fixing the backup radio (MBITR). I finally popped smoke to signal we were good & shortly after got back on the radio.

Unfortunately, this triggers a blackout so no communication with the US for at least 3 days.

So word gets back to a certain dependa (an insult used to describe useless military spouses) in the FRG (Family Readiness Group, invented by Satan himself) which, is essentially a bunch of nosey and gossipy people determined to create drama. This particular dependa considers herself the queen dependa and all others were her subjects.

She had caused plenty of stress prior to this event, but I don’t care because I don’t like drama and I was busy trying not to die.

Anyway, the queen dependa took it upon herself to tell A’s wife that he was dead which is a big no-no, especially off hearsay and three of her friends even told her to let the military handle it because it’s the proper way and because she was going off hearsay.

For THREE DAYS A’s wife thought her husband was dead. Except he was very much alive. Needless to say when we finally found out we were mad. His wife was of course happy/confused & mad simultaneously. I mean the emotional roller coaster must have been insane, heck may have required therapy but I didn’t pry.

I made a few phone calls to some of the wives that were cool and my prior service friend I called ‘Winky’ because she lost her eye from an IED the previous deployment.

This fearless gaggle would initiate operation hot pocket. I just needed a workable plan as hot pockets could only get my ninjas in. Now after some digging, I learned this particular dependa enjoyed various illicit substances as well as copious amounts of food. Generally, I don’t care because it doesn’t affect me but we’re out for blood now.

My insiders went to the dependa’s house with hot pockets to partake in some of said illicit substances which are now legal.

They were quite friendly to queen dependa, stroking her massive ego that was only dwarfed by her physical size, and learned where her stash was and managed to move some to strategic obvious locations.

The following day A’s wife went to confront the dependa as planned with the intention of goading the dependa queen into hitting her in front of uninvolved witnesses. Well, it went off without a hitch which got the police involved where to no surprise a good amount of illicit substances were found.

So, the dependa was charged with multiple felonies. Apparently, she had quite the assortment and was in jail upon our return 6 months later. As for the moron who initiated the entire ordeal, we couldn’t ever positively identify them so couldn’t in good faith act.

As for A and his wife, they later divorced before getting re-married to each other when he was discharged a few years later. I suspect that event played a large role.”

9 points - Liked by RLTexas8115, Joliesissi, tcasa2 and 6 more

15. Tailgating Us? We'll Stare Into Your Soul


“This happened a few years ago when I was graduating. Not that it is important, but for our graduation project, three of my friends and I had to visit a special one-of-a-kind farm for a whole year. My friends and I were driving on a road leading to different farms and where I live, the maximum speed on this kind of road is 80 kph unless otherwise indicated.

However, as we were nearing the end of the year, we had gone to this farm many times before and were comfortable driving 90 – 95 kph on said road.

As we were driving, a different car approached us at high speed and began tailgating us. At first, we thought that it could be a police officer in a civilian car, but the car was an old, modified BMW (which the police certainly does not use) and the person in it honestly did not look like he was a type to become a police officer.

We were looking for a spot to possibly pull over, but that was not possible due to ditches and trees being too close to the road. My friend who was driving actually sped up a bit, but the person behind us was still tailgating and was even flashing his lights at this point.

Suddenly I had the idea of my friend and I (we were sitting in the backseat) turning around and staring into that man’s eyes.

So we turned around and stared into that man’s eyes with a blank, emotionless and dead stare as if we wanted to consume his soul. We could see him get physically awkward and he tried not to look at us. However, as he was right up our rear, that proved to be really difficult for him. He eventually slowed down and stayed a good 15 meters behind us, flashing his lights no more.

We still continued to stare at him, though. Just to be sure he kept his distance.”

9 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, Joliesissi, tcasa2 and 6 more

14. I Couldn't Be Smarter Than Him? Well, Guess I Am Now


“To get this you kind of have to understand the context. Generally, I was the guy that would cruise through normal classes and only wake up or pay attention for a test or a quiz. So anyway my teachers ‘caught on’ after my freshman year that I got As despite paying them no attention. They kept putting me in AP classes even though I wanted to stay in the normal classes to get more sleep.

These habits carried over to the AP classes and they still worked to an extent, but the other students were usually a lot more serious than me.

Anyway, my favorite subject was history so I occasionally woke up for that but still slept a lot. While I had my head down once I heard one of the popular-ish kids ask the teacher why I was in the class since all I did was sleep.

She said I was smart like the rest of them and I did my assignments so it didn’t really matter if I was sleeping in my downtime in class. He jokingly said ‘Well he can’t be smarter than Xavier. Ha, ha.’

Xavier was the guy the rest of the class thought was super smart and always got the highest scores on each test. At the end of the class when we were leaving I asked him what he got on the last test and he said a 96.

I said thanks.

After that, I went home and read the entire textbook so I would know the answers for the rest of the year.

On the next test the guy who said I couldn’t be smarter than Xavier got a C and was wondering why the tests weren’t curved. With a curve, he would have had a B. The teacher said someone got a 110%, and someone got a 108% so she couldn’t really curve it since with two of us there wasn’t really an outlier.

She informed Xavier that he got the 108 and he seemed surprised and asked who could have gotten a higher grade than him.

‘OP had the highest grade on the test.’

I could tell the class was looking at me even with my head down so I raised my head, waved, then promptly went back to sleep. A few people were groaning and I heard whispering asking if I was a freak or something to each other. I think after the same thing happened on the next test she started cutting me and the other guy out of the curve since the tests were too hard or something.

That’s probably the pettiest thing I’ve ever done.”

8 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, RLTexas8115, Haywire and 6 more

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StumpyOne 1 year ago
That's not petty, that's genius.
8 Reply

13. You Want To Bully Me? I'll Destroy Your Pizza Boxes


“I used to get bullied in primary school by a girl called Laura and a boy called Josh. They made every day a misery for me and I had to get my mother involved to let the teachers know. This however made it worse and the teachers didn’t believe me due to them thinking Laura and Josh are little angels. The worst thing a teacher could do is not believe a child and unfortunately, this only made things worse.

I was seven at the time and they were 8 and they were bigger and for my age I was small. Now how I got my own back was when they both made me cry so badly I hid in the toilets. It was break time and after a few minutes, I went back into the classroom. I remember that particular day we made pizzas and the day before we made pizza boxes for our pizza.

Now the savage thing I did was I looked for Laura’s and Josh’s pizza boxes and ripped them apart. I put them in the bin also with their textbooks too. I felt happy when they both started to cry themselves when they came back from playtime as I felt this accomplishment getting my own back. The best thing was they both didn’t know it was me.

That small accomplishment made me really happy because even though the teacher didn’t believe me I still had my own back. It’s how I coped, every time they did something I would do a small revenge every time.”

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12. You Won't Let Me Sleep? Enjoy Overactive Teachers


“At my former job, we would take an overnight ship to another country (guess which one) to visit something, let the pupils, ages 14-15, shop a bit before getting back on the boat and sail the evening and night back home. Parents and pupils alike were informed early on and given information along with my email and websites where to find more information.

The pupils loved it.

For many of them, it was the first time away from their parents and sometimes even the first time abroad. The advantage of the ship is that they couldn’t get lost and it was easy for the teachers to keep an eye on the pupils. We, teachers, had portable radios (allowed by the crew) to communicate in case someone was needed. The week before this there is a meeting with all the pupils coming on this trip as well as the teachers who were coming to discuss the daily schedules of departure trip, excursion itself and return, the rules on the ship, where they could shop and of course sleeping arrangements.

We understood that they were excited as heck for this trip and told them that ‘cabin time’ was 11 pm at the latest. 11:30 pm lights out and the teachers didn’t want to hear anyone outside in the hallways. If you as a cabin decide to not sleep until the early hours in the morning but do so without disturbing those who want to sleep, fine with us.

We will wake you up at 7:30 no matter what. We give the advice that if you wish to stay up late to do so on the return journey. When we come back home, you can go home. No lessons, just weekend and time enough to sleep.

In true teenage fashion, most heard us but didn’t listen.

So departure day is there, we get on the ship. Pupils dump their stuff in their assigned cabins and go do their thing.

They have fun, eat, mingle with each other while behaving wonderfully. We, teachers, get a copy of every single cabin card in case the pupils lose them, in emergencies, and for ‘the wake-up service’. As the only female teacher in a group of male teachers, I had the luxury to have a 4 person cabin all to myself. Kids and co-workers alike came to hang out when I was there and we would drink our drinks, share some snacks, chat and get to know one another on a whole different level.

‘Cabin time’ comes, everyone is in their cabin on time, gets in bed, and is generally quiet. Apart from one cabin…the one next to mine. They need to be warned multiple times by multiple teachers.

They continued to make plenty of noise deep into the night. Multiple times they were told to calm down. If they wished to stay up late, fine but 3 rules applied.

  1. You let those who want to sleep, sleep.

    Whether or not they are your cabin mates or the people in the rooms next to you.

  2. You know the program for the next day. It is intensive. You will need your energy. We will wake you up at 7:30 no matter what.
  3. After we get back on the ship you can’t have a nap. You can go to bed after dinner if you’re really tired. Reason for this was to keep a somewhat decent sleep schedule so they would have fewer problems at home.

They still don’t quiet down.

At 4:30 I have had it. I’ve barely slept and tomorrow I’m in charge of the whole thing. I once again put on my glasses, a vest, grab the key for their room and go into the hallway. I throw open the door, point at 3 of them, and tell them to get out in the hallway. One was firmly told to go to sleep. Around 5-10 minutes later, number 1 can go back to bed, a couple of minutes after him goes the next one, and some minutes later the last one.

I told them firmly that I won’t be hearing from them again. It stayed silent after that.

At 7 am my alarm goes off. I have barely slept and I could really use a coffee that I don’t like to drink. I bring my co-workers up to speed about the cabin next to mine ( the ‘party cabin’) and I see an evil grin appear on 2 faces.

Enter Evil grin coworker 1 – EGC1 and Evil grin coworker 2 – EGC2

7:30 arrives and it’s time to wake the pupils. A lot of them had set alarms and were awake, having a shower, getting dressed, all the things that are done in the morning. My 2 co-workers with the evil grin and I go to ‘the party cabin’ and with the cheeriest smiles and voices we wake them up.

The bags under their eyes had bags and they are complaining about being tired.

Cue the revenge. Having barely slept myself I was having none of their complaints. But instead of complaining myself or giving them a stern lecture and snapping every time they did, my Evil grin coworkers and I did something else. They continue to complain about how tired they were throughout the day. So the rest of the day they had either me, EGC 1 or EGC2, or a combination of us walking with them acting overly happy, active, and energetic.

They did not like that. We continue to do this even after we get on the ship and the ship has gone on its merry way back home. Now, remember, they can’t have a nap but can go to sleep after dinner. The 4 little party pupils had completely forgotten this.

They are as exhausted as can be and at around 20:15 they ask, get a no, beg, then finally go to sleep.

EGC1, EGC2, and I put on a little show on how could they have forgotten the time they can go to bed but seeing their faces we told them they could have gone after dinner, so sure go ahead.

They went to their cabin and the rest of the evening and night it was nice and quiet. We went to check in on them later to see how they were and they were fast asleep.

Thankfully I could get some sleep myself this night after surviving this day on 1-hour sleep and 3 power naps.

Next morning they woke up nice and refreshed and they even thanked us for everything. We had quite a laugh with their parents when we told them the story. They could see the fun of it as well and admitted they would have probably done the same.

Lesson: Never mess with teachers who are sleep deprived and want to teach you something other than their subject.”

7 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, RLTexas8115, sceri1234 and 4 more

11. Fire Me For Something I Didn't Do? I'll Make A Bunch Of Fake Phone Calls


“Okay so I’ve worked at this pet company for literally 6 years, I have seen managers come and go and yet I remained. I was a good employee, I came to work on my days off, always showed up early if needed, and had many customers who only wanted to deal specifically with me. This company I worked at has gone downhill since I began working there but started to get really bad about 3 years ago, but I stuck with it because I genuinely enjoyed it.

Now a little backstory, I’m a former foster kid (this is relevant information) and when I was a child I was always accused of stealing simply because I was a foster kid and so I promised myself that when I grew up if anyone ever accused me of theft and I 100% didn’t do it I would be out of there.

About three and a half weeks ago I was called into the office and sat down by a phone, now I was chipper and ready to talk to this person as I had nothing to be worried about…and then the conversation changed.

Instead of asking about my animals, I was now being told about what this person did for the company.

As soon as the conversation started to change I reverted back to my childhood and I could feel myself start to panic as memories from my childhood of being accused of things so I straight up asked, ‘Am I being accused of theft within this company?’

To which they responded ‘Well there was an incident, well let’s not call it an incident… around mid-December you were seen on camera picking up a beta fish, walking into pet care, and then leaving the store.’

I did ask to see it but wasn’t given the option.

I don’t doubt that what they saw was real but what the camera probably didn’t show was me throwing it out because they are in cups and die all the time. The person on the other end of the phone kept asking the same questions and repeating, ‘I’m just looking for that HONESTY piece,’ to which I kept responding ‘OKAY BUT I DIDN’T DO IT THOUGH?’

I ended up getting suspended for a week and my manager had to walk me out of the store it was humiliating.

So a week later I am given a phone call and told that the investigation was done and that I could come in for shifts, great they probably found me not guilty and are going to apologize. NOPE, THEY DOUBLED DOWN HANDING ME A COUPLE OF PAPERS GOING OVER MORE INFRACTIONS THAT I SUPPOSEDLY DID. The funny thing is my record is so clean, and I had never been sat down for specific infractions before yet all of a sudden now they exist? Convenient.

So I signed the papers, went through my entire shift, and then went home to write my resignation letter. Here’s the thing about my job position, I am the pet trainer at my location and I schedule classes three months in advance. Recently, we were shut down for a little bit but we were said to reopen training a couple of days after they brought me back, there is no doubt in my mind that they already had another trainer getting ready to fill my position because the second day back they had me calling all of my clients to tell them that everything was back on. Of course, I spent my entire shift making fake phone calls and left my resignation on the desk effective immediately, hope they had fun calling 3 months’ worth of classes.

I have an even better job lined up, I hope it was worth it.”

7 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, RLTexas8115, sceri1234 and 4 more

10. I Got Infected With A Crypto Miner So I Set His Payout To A Million


“I work in a small IT department for a chain of stores spread throughout the state I live in. As part of our network infrastructure, we use UniFi devices with a centralized hosted UniFi server to control and manage all the devices. As far as enterprise equipment goes, the pricing is pretty cheap, but the user interface and management features are really slick.

About a month ago we started having issues with the server that hosts the UniFi controller in the cloud.

We would reboot the server and it would be up for about 10 minutes and then it would go down and have to be rebooted again. My senior admin didn’t seem too worried about it as the UniFi devices only need input from the controller when we’re making changes, which these days is not often.

The problem went unsolved for a time until I finally had some downtime in the office and was looking into migrating this controller to another server because the host OS needed an upgrade anyway.

That was when I found a pesky little cron job that was set to start a new instance of a process every 5 minutes.

For those that don’t know, cron on a Linux server is a process that is responsible for starting other processes on a specific schedule or interval. It’s a very basic program but it’s pretty easy to take down a system if you don’t configure it right.

After some additional sleuthing I found the process being started every five minutes, which led me to a command that contained, of all things, a user credential for a crypto mining pool. The site that hosts the pool had a lot of info about how much our poor little Linux server has made this bad actor in Crypto coin and which wallets it was deposited into.

On average it was only making probably 0.02 coins a day, which amounted to roughly $4. Not much but this individual had the payout set to be 0.4. Basically, when 0.4 coins were successfully mined, the pool would pay him that much.

The site for this particular coin had a lot of info, but no authentication. So I thought, why not set the payout to be a stupidly high number, that way the miners associated with this user won’t payout for a long time? So we set it to a million coins. Whoever infected us didn’t make very much to begin with, but now their other miners won’t pay out for years, assuming they don’t notice and change the payout back.”

7 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, RLTexas8115, sceri1234 and 4 more

9. There Was A Bully At My Boot Camp, So I Got Him In Trouble


“I was in Boot Camp with a bunch of other guys and there’s this one jerk who everyone hates. He doesn’t get along with anyone, and he’s extremely selfish and rude to people. For example, my buddies and I might be chatting and he would yell at us to shut up. He insults people and calls them names for the slightest mistakes during training. He’s so hated by everyone that he is the only one not invited when we planned a get-together on one of our free days.

One time he argued with the whole bunk room because he wanted to turn off the fan at bedtime due to the noise, while everyone else wanted it on because it’s hot as heck. Mind you, summer nights can reach up to 35 – 40 degrees Celsius in my country, and nobody can get a goodnight’s sleep when we’re all sweating and cramped in a tiny room.

Yet, the Bully even went against the wishes of the majority and sneakily turned it off in the middle of the night.

There’s another instance where he nearly started a fight in the back of a van just because a guy accidentally bumped his head onto his head. He slapped the other guy’s back of the head hard in retaliation, and one thing led to another. To give some context, this is a tiny military van with up to 10 or more people crammed inside.

Accidental bumps and such are to be expected.

What’s even worse is as some others and I were holding both of the guys back to prevent a fight, Bully wasn’t even apologizing or explaining his side. He just kept provoking with lines like ‘What? You want to go!? Come at me, idiot!’ and such. Luckily things didn’t escalate.

One day, I saw an opportunity for some payback. I’m the last one to leave the room one morning and I had the chance to intentionally untidy his bunk bed to get him in trouble.

Since we’re expected to keep our stations tidy at all times, that’s a big no-no where you could get punished with exhausting exercises. Looking back, though, does he really ‘deserve’ it? Was it childish? It did seem petty looking back. I got an innocent person punished for something he didn’t do, even if he’s a jerk.

My only defenses are it’s not a huge punishment. In fact, some sergeants might let you off with a ‘strike’ and a warning. For those wondering why nobody talked to the superiors about it, you can’t really report him for anything verbal in Boot Camp, and the sergeants don’t care if the recruits get along or not. Bully didn’t violate any ‘official’ rules save for that time he almost started a fight.”

6 points - Liked by RLTexas8115, Haywire, sceri1234 and 3 more

8. Make Me Wait For Hours? I'll Leave You A Parting Gift On The Floor


“With the Great Resignation going on, I decided to look for a new job. For those of you not from the US, there are some stupid laws your employer-to-be has to follow with respect to substance testing if they have Federal government contracts. I did my pre-employment urine test at a local clinic that rhymes with Flair How, and they were pretty chill about it.

After I got the job, I find out another urine test is needed, as I’ll be assigned to a particular client who shall remain nameless.

They send me to a big chain that sounds like Flab Corp, and that’s where the fun begins.

I don’t know about you, but I find it difficult to do my business when I’m being supervised. The first time I’m called back to the inner sanctum, the tech lets me know my sample is not quite 30 ml. So, she gives me a big cup of water and tells me I have to do it all over again.

Oh, joy.

I drink the water while waiting. And waiting… And waiting some more. After an hour passes, I really have to go to the bathroom. So, I politely let the receptionist know that I need to go. She says she’ll let them know.

Another 10 minutes pass, the need becomes greater. I politely remind the receptionist that I really have to go. She says she’ll let them know.

About 15 more minutes pass, and I’m at the point where I’ll wet my pants if I can’t go to the bathroom in short order. Since it seems like the receptionist is not taking me seriously, I advise her politely in no uncertain terms.

I finally get called back to the inner sanctum again. This time, I get a different tech. Let’s call her Witchy McTechFace (WMT, for short).

This woman has a surly demeanor, to say the least. First, WMT commands me to take off my sweatshirt, for no apparent reason. Meanwhile, my back teeth are floating and the whites of my eyes are yellow, I have to pee so badly.

WMT orders me into the first room, and says to lock up my purse in the cabinet that’s in the door-less bathroom, then put the key on the counter.

All I can think about is the sweet release that is forthcoming. WMT finally hands me the specimen vial and I think to myself that I’ll have no problems donating 30 ml this time.

I’m standing in a door-less bathroom that has a toilet without a seat, cup in hand. The toilet water is a deep blue and reeks of bleach in a way that would make the Ty-D-Bowl Man proud.

I finally let it rip. (BTW, I’m female, and I don’t ordinarily stand up to pee).

Needless to say, they got their 30 ml, and then some. My cup runneth over, as the saying goes.

I didn’t feel bad about leaving Witchy McTechFace an additional parting gift on the floor.”

6 points - Liked by RLTexas8115, sceri1234, aofa and 3 more

7. My Classmates Teased Me So I Put Them All In Timeout


“I (30M) was a bit of a cheeky little boy, and as far back as preschool, I remember getting up to mischief and being an outright menace.

It was during one fateful dress-up day in pre-primary, during lunch. I dressed up as a little cowboy, and remember my pants being just a tad too big, I had to keep pulling them up so they wouldn’t fall to my ankles.

I remember being on the playground, running away from what seemed to be about two or three other kids and simultaneously trying to pull my pants up. They were yelling something like ‘Tiffany likes you!’ and I guess I was nervous and didn’t know what to think because I kept running away.

I kid you not, I turned around at one point and the two or three kids had turned into the entire class of primary school kids chasing after me, and screaming something about someone liking me.

I remember running up to the teacher and she actually thanked me for coming to her that time, rather than taking matters into my own hands, which was what I had usually done.

The next moment, was me playing by myself on the playground and looking at the entire class of kids in timeout, sitting in a row watching me, watching them.

It was such a bizarre moment in my life, I guess it’s why it stuck.”

5 points - Liked by RLTexas8115, sceri1234, aofa and 3 more

6. Threaten Me In High School? Enjoy The Extra Fees 15 Years Later


“Rewind back to my Freshman year of high school, I was a short skinny kid that had never been in a fight before. A guy I had gone to middle school with was telling people he was going to ‘kick my behind’ because I was supposedly running my mouth about him. I wasn’t running my mouth about him, so I went to talk to him about it after class.

He came out in the hallway and was acting like he was going to charge me with a mutual female friend standing in between us. I had no plans of fighting and kept my backpack on while he was putting on his show. Thankfully it fizzled out with a threat from him that I better keep my mouth shut. A year or two later, he saw me out in the hallway and he was like ‘I heard what you said about me’ just to get me scared and argue that I hadn’t said anything about him.

Present day, about 14-15 years later, I work for my county’s Register of Deeds office. The same guy and his wife are buying a house and their attorney e-files their deed and deed of trust through us. My state has specific statutes regarding margins on documents, and I noticed theirs was just slightly out of it with their deed. I could’ve ignored it, but instead, I slapped the ‘Non-Standard Fee’ on it which adds $25.00 extra to the total cost.

The next document, the deed of trust, was the same way. So, yeah I hit them with another ‘Non-Standard Fee’ of $25.00 extra on that one too. Then I called another coworker over to look at it with me and what do you know: It had a manufactured home rider and some other rider in the deed of trust which counts as a ‘Multi Instrument Fee’ for $10.00 extra. I slapped that Fee on there too.

He’ll probably be none the wiser to all the fees I added for him, but I had a little petty pleasure over causing a minor inconvenience to him that I was well within my right to do.

Clay, ol’ buddy ol’ pal, if you’re reading this, Happy Valentines Day from yours truly.”

5 points - Liked by Haywire, sceri1234, aofa and 3 more

5. My Neighbor's Bed Squeaked Like Crazy, So I Sent Them A Very Short Note


“My small studio apartment really only had one place that made sense to put a bed, so my upstairs neighbor’s bed was, inevitably, directly above my own. I never met them in the year I lived there, yet I became thoroughly acquainted with the fact that their bed squeaked. At the time, awakening me from a dead sleep at three in the morning required… vigorous levels of squeakage, but my neighbor managed it…

several times a week… with impressive duration.

It took a while, but I eventually decided on an appropriate response to what was, after all, an unintended, if very real annoyance. I just needed to wait for the next squeak-phonic performance to put it into effect. The wait was not a long one.

Twenty-six years later, I still fondly imagine their reaction the next morning to finding on their doormat a large can of WD-40, with the note attached reading simply: ‘Your bed squeaks.’

Whatever that reaction actually was, I never heard another squeak from them.”

4 points - Liked by RLTexas8115, Rj, sceri1234 and 3 more

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lasm1 1 year ago
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4. Our Neighbor Tried To Get Revenge On Us But We Found Out


“We have an ongoing feud with the next-door neighbor over parking. At the moment, he only has one vehicle after his fireworks fiasco on New Year’s Eve that prompted the Fire Department and Police to blast out windows on his Escalade and spray water where they had to. His Escalade had to be towed away on New Year’s Day due to the extensive damage by his own hand, the fireworks, and the Fire Dept.

He has a double car garage, a spot in front of it, and a spot along the alley where he can park his remaining car. He is one of those people who think they own the spot on a public street right in front of their house.

He gets all butt hurt when we park there because he refuses to park his only car anywhere on his property and feels entitled to the spot in front of his house.

An hour ago, my significant other went to the store. When she came back she could see something shimmering in the street as she was about to park. She stopped, got out to find glass beer bottles placed in the only snow mounds of 2 inches high right where the car was parked.

They weren’t there when she left.

We don’t drink that brand of beer.

One couldn’t argue that they were knocked over from his trash because he doesn’t put his garbage out. He piles his in the car and takes it somewhere.

This is some really petty behavior.”

3 points - Liked by sceri1234, aofa, Niffer and 2 more

3. You're Saying My Coupons Don't Work? I'll Find A Way To Make Them Work


“So to start, some background. I live in an area with a gas station that is basically a glorified convenience store. This convenience store has several goods, some from the gas station itself so it may be surprising to find out this gas station has a game to gain free things. This can include drinks, candy, chips, gas, slushies, and importantly, peanuts. This game is very much rigged and you would only win ‘lower quality’ things during the day.

But if you play between the times of 5:30 – 6:00 a.m., the odds of winning go from low to certain. And playing with several phone numbers means multiple prizes per day.

Also, the cashier at this gas station is a guy who doesn’t care if you are happy getting your things or ticked off. He only cares if he did the bare minimum requirements for what his job description tells him to do.

So my friends and I would have coupons to scan and if they didn’t work the first time, he would say ‘didn’t work’ or something similar.

So I was sitting at home, bored of doing nothing and not going anywhere. Then, I had the brilliant idea to go get free stuff at the local gas station and felt that being a nice person wouldn’t hurt anybody. I went up to my dad and asked if he would like some chips from the gas station.

He asked why I’m asking and I replied, ‘Because I have a Bogo chip (buy one get one) and wanted to get you something.’ I also had a boatload of stuff I wanted to get but that isn’t the point. He agreed and asked for ketchup chips.

So after some prep, I left for the short walk to the gas station to get stuff for myself and my dad.

When I arrived at the door, I saw 2 people coming towards the door and in stereotypical Canadian fashion, waited for them to enter after I opened the door for them.

So at this moment, I pulled out my phone to set up the coupons for my first wave of stuff. I grabbed 2 bags of ketchup chips and walked into the line, setting up my data and coupon for the cashier.

He scanned them and I paid for the other chip bag. I left the counter and picked up 2 things, some watermelon soft candy and some Old Dutch popcorn twists (this is important). I waited in line again to scan the coupon for the candy. The discount line sorted on the screen. I scanned the old Dutch chips coupon, nothing.

He said something to the extent of, ‘Guess it didn’t work.’

‘Could you reset the screen so I can try again?’ I said.

This guy had a blank expression as he said, ‘Uh, sure.’

He reset the screen and I scanned the popcorn twists, then the coupon, nothing. I was trying to think up a reason why the coupon didn’t work and how to fix the problem, when the cashier said, ‘You have to get other chips.’

I walked over to the chip rack in the back of the store and picked out some original chips because my taste in chips is exquisite.

I walked over to the cashier and scan the original chips, then the coupon, nothing.

The gears in my head started to turn when the guy piped up and said, ‘No, no. Barbecue chips. Only barbecue chips.’

Now I am going to assume what was going on in this guy’s head during this moment. ‘Huh, this guy has a free chip coupon. I only remember barbecue chips working for this thing, so that must mean that all other Old Dutch products couldn’t possibly work with this coupon.

Guess I won’t try to help him out with his preference because that is above my pay grade.’

I still intended to get a drink but I also had several coupons for free peanuts. So a petty thought crept into my mind. ‘Why don’t you get all of your peanuts but in separate purchases.’ My inner self was grinning ear to ear.

I went up to the counter with my fountain drink cup and a bag of peanuts, scanned both with coupons.

Left the line, grabbed another bag of peanuts, went to the counter, scanned the coupon. Rinse and repeat. At the second last bag, he asked to see the coupon and when he saw the timer at 4:54, (it starts at 5:00 minutes) he agreed and I left the line to get the last bag of peanuts. When I arrived at the line, he had me physically show him me starting the coupon to make sure I wasn’t scamming the gas station. When I proved I wasn’t scamming him, I left to fill my drink and ended it all with a ‘thank you’ because I am Canadian at heart.

In total, I used 9 coupons and only paid for about $2.25 worth of product.”

2 points - Liked by sceri1234, aofa, Niffer and 2 more

2. Won't Let Me Drive Past The Speed Limit? Have Fun Going Miles Out Of Your Way


“This happened years ago, and I will give a little text visual since I no longer live in the area. This happened near Los Angeles International Airport or LAX, for those that might be aware of the area. I lived on the Northside of the airport and the corner has a gas station. I stopped mid-morning to fill up and get a drink. I was heading out to take photos.

There were two tuner vehicles there as well. At least one Subaru and the other may have been a Honda.

We all left around the same time heading North, the road West of the airport, (if you have seen just about any episode of Pimp my Ride, you have seen this road). The two vehicles were in both lanes going less than the speed limit, which is 55mph.

Then we come to the light at Imperial Hwy and all turn left. Again, they are staying below the speed limit and blocking my ability to pass. One vehicle turns into El Segundo and the Subaru stays ahead as we are about to join I-105 East. Immediately after getting on the freeway, I attempt again to get around the guy as he is going below the speed limit and I notice my chance.

I merge all the way to the right as if I am about to merge onto I-405, North or South. Again he is immediately in front of me, at the last minute I merge left to continue East. The driver can no longer move back and is committed to the merge. There isn’t an exit North for at least 3 miles, and South is maybe 1 to 2 miles.

This was a holiday weekend mid-morning so there was no traffic at the time. If I didn’t pull this off I feel the driver would have continued to remain erratic and attempt to block my ability to drive without him attempting to cause a potential accident. I was driving a non-descript, non-tuned Focus hatch.”

2 points - Liked by sceri1234, aofa, Niffer and 2 more

1. My Dog Refused To Be Trained, So She Got Revenge On My Family Friend


“So my dog—Misty—was a bit of a spoiled brat. My mother never allowed any of us to discipline him. He was a real prima donna. The only persons who could discipline him a bit were either my Dad or me (very limited authority since I was away at college at the time and only visited home during the breaks).

We lived in an apartment complex at the time.

A family that lived on another floor was very close to us. They were almost treated like extended family. Now the family friend—let’s call him Ned—used to try to get Misty to behave and obviously Misty decided he was enemy number one. Every time Ned came over Misty would find ways to ruin something Ned owned.

Then he found another way to get revenge. The moment we opened our door, Misty would find a way to escape, run to Ned’s house, and pee on the door.

No amount of punishing or scolding stopped him. If we caught him either my sister or I used to go and wash the door.

Then one day we were invited to Ned’s house for dinner. As was his habit, Misty did his business on Ned’s door. Mom caught him in the act. So she got a bucket and started washing the door. Misty watched her very interestedly and tried to lick her face and apologize in his own way. From the next day, he shifted his attention to Ned’s car and scooter that used to be parked in the common parking lot and no one could point out that he was the culprit.

So long as he was alive the war between Misty and Ned continued.”

1 points - Liked by sceri1234, Niffer and StumpyOne

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lasm1 1 year ago
You're ridiculous..
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