People Ask Us To Carefully Review Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
38. AITJ For Not Wanting To Have A Birthday Party?
“I’m Latina and as you probably know it is a big deal for us when a girl turns 15 (quinceañeras), and my mom always wanted to give me a really big quinceañera even tho I never wanted it.
I always told her I don’t like to be the center of attention and I think it’s very cringe how we have to wear big dresses and dance and I think it’s just a waste of money, I told her I’d rather get a birthday trip instead but she kept insisting and saying that we could do it how I wanted, I wouldn’t have to wear a big sparkly dress and it could be just a normal party with my friends.
I still said no, but she said we could have a smaller party and then she would also give me a bday trip to Disneyland, so ok I was fine with that as long it would be a small thing with a couple of friends and nothing cringe and I’d still get my trip so yeah.
But that’s not what happened at all. She started planning everything on her own and she got me this really ugly princess dress and invited all these people I didn’t wanna invite. I was so mad at her that I told her I was not going at all because that was not what she had told me we would do.
It’s like she’s planning a party for herself, but she said she couldn’t cancel everything now because she already invited everyone and paid for everything and that I was being dramatic and ungrateful. She said I’m the only girl in the world who would complain and not want a nice party.
She also said I would not get my birthday trip anymore for being ungrateful and I told her I don’t care and I don’t even want it anymore and that I’m not going to this stupid party.
Now I’m grounded and she’s always being a jerk to me for it because she had to cancel everything and she said she’s never gonna buy me anything or do anything for me ever again because I’m ungrateful.
She’s telling the whole family that I made her cancel it and now I have to listen to aunts and uncles telling me to be nicer to my mom and all that annoying nonsense.
It makes me upset because it’s like my mom only cares about her and what she wants, not me. AITJ?”
37. AITJ For Telling My Mom Not To Come To My Wedding?
“So I (26 M) am getting married this summer to my college sweetheart Sam. But I am having issues with my parents. I’m an only child and my parents were together for over 25 years.
But I wouldn’t consider it a good relationship. My dad was a provider and a hard worker, a great person, and a fantastic role model. He made great money and was able to let my mom stay home. My mom was a great mother but as a person she is selfish. I never saw her show any love to my dad.
He was very affectionate and she wasn’t at all. She would spend most of her time shopping or at our neighborhood pool. My mom didn’t hate my dad but seemed to like what he provided more than who he was. I could tell as I grew up that my dad was lonely.
So growing up my dad had a childhood friend who lived a few states away named ‘Aunt Nicole’.
She would come around every so often with her husband. Well, about 5 years ago she and her husband divorced and she moved back to our hometown. I was in college during this time. I got a call from my dad to come home about 3.5 years ago. My dad sat me down and told me that he had an affair with Aunt Nicole.
And that he and Mom were splitting up. I was angry. He let me vent and berate him. Always admitting his wrongdoing. And not hiding anything.
He and my mom went through a nasty divorce. With her constantly trash-talking him and trying to screw him up financially. Well, it’s been three years since and things have gotten worse.
My mom won’t sit in the same room as my dad. My dad is happy and is married to Nicole now. Nicole has been awesome to me. And after letting me call her out for crappy behavior. Has been treating me as her own for years. We have a tight bond because we’ve known each other forever.
The wedding has turned into a nightmare. My mom has started making all these demands. At first, she said she wouldn’t come if Nicole was invited. We called her bluff on that. She said that she didn’t want to be at a head table with my dad. I said fine. Well, put him at another table with my fiancée’s side of the family.
Now she’s saying that she doesn’t want Nicole included in the wedding planning, pictures, or rehearsal. Only the wedding and then she has to go. Because my mom ‘won’t be able to handle it’. Then my mom demanded that Nicole leave the wedding for our mother-son dance. I told her that it was ridiculous.
She asked for a plus one so she could bring some random dude she met a month ago. My mom said she won’t pay for the wedding (my mom and dad are helping) if she isn’t being taken seriously. I told her last week to get over herself, that the divorce was just as much her fault as it was dad’s and I can always have Nicole step in for the mother/son dance if she can’t get over herself.
My mom’s side of the family has heard about the drama and thinks I’m being a jerk.
My fiancée understands the dynamic and is sympathetic to my mom but thinks it’s getting ridiculous. AITJ?”
36. AITJ For Not Allowing My Sister-In-Law At Our House For Easter For Helping My Daughter Pierce Her Belly Button?
“My (40 F) husband (41 M) has a half-sister who is 30. She’s… not my favorite. And my husband isn’t crazy about her either.
She’s always involved in a different multilevel marketing (MLM) every time we see her. She quits every other job she has after a month, asks us for money, and has a new partner every time we see her.
Our daughter (13) has always been crazy about her though. She’s the ‘fun’ aunt. There have been numerous other times we’ve been upset with her because of something she said/did around our daughter that we found inappropriate.
But her 13th birthday takes the cake.
This happened 2 weeks ago. Our daughter turned 13 and what sister-in-law decided to do for her was take her to the mall so she could buy her some clothes she wanted. No problems with that at all, but the secret present is what my husband and I have flipped over.
Turns out, she took our daughter to one of her friend’s apartments who pierced her belly button. I found out about it when I caught my daughter disinfecting it a few days later. Our daughter has expressed wanting this to her dad and me, and we firmly said no. My husband thinks they’re trashy and I sort of agree.
Maybe when she’s a little older if that’s really what she wants, but 13? No way.
Also, my sister-in-law didn’t take her to a place that does piercings, she just had her friend do it. How do we know that friend knows what she’s doing? How do we know her materials are clean?
Horribly disrespectful and dangerous in our opinion.
Because of this, we are not allowing my sister-in-law at our house for Easter. Our daughter is upset, and my sister-in-law is raging at my husband. At the end of the day, she took our daughter to do something that we firmly said no to, and potentially put her at harm.
We also aren’t going to allow our daughter to go with her aunt alone anywhere anytime soon.
Are we jerks for this?”
35. AITJ For Not Appreciating My Brother's Parenting Advice?
“I (20s f) have an older brother (late 20s). He was raised to think he was gods gift to the world and that his crap doesn’t stink. Well, a few years ago the family finally saw through all his nonsense. He was going out with a girl and they got pregnant he refused to have anything to do with the girl and denied it was his kid.
Well, a paternity test later he is the father. Even with the test he wasn’t involved until 6-8 months after my niece was born. Once he got involved he loved it and has been a great dad since.
On to the issue I just had my first baby with my spouse. My baby is a few weeks old and wonderful.
I should mention I have been around kids/babies my whole life, being the only girl out of 4 kids I helped out with my younger brothers I used to babysit for family members, and during high school and college, I was a nanny specializing in high-risk kids and special needs babies.
This weekend I was visiting my mother so she could see my baby and have a family BBQ.
My brother was there with his spouse, daughter, and baby mama. I had my spouse and baby plus a few other family and friends were there. I was in the pool with the baby and she got tired and fussy so I handed her to my spouse and told him what to dress her in and which blanket to grab.
He took her inside and changed her and brought her back out swaddled in a lightweight blanket. (Think lightweight cheesecloth material very breathable and light we live in the humid south). While he was handing me back the baby to feed my brother decided to pipe up and tell us to take the blanket off of her before she had a heatstroke.
I ignored him and proceeded to start to feed her.
My brother made a noise and said I should go inside to feed her as he could hear her making noises (breastfeeding I was covered up). I looked at him and said his comments weren’t necessary and that she needed to eat. He told me to give her a bottle and she wouldn’t make the noises.
Newsflash: Even when she takes a bottle she makes noises. I looked at my brother and told him he didn’t need to give me parenting advice since he missed this stage with his daughter and that I was doing just fine.
He got all mad and called me a jerk telling me that he’s just trying to give advice.
He got up and stormed off. I asked those around us if I was wrong in my comment and they said no I was doing a good job.
Later on, my brother and his spouse texted me saying they would not be in contact with me until I apologized for my comments.
So AITJ?”
34. AITJ For Not Liking Some Of The Gifts I Got From My Partner's Parents?
“I (22 f) just had my first Xmas with my partner (25 m) and his family. In September his mother had us make a list of things we wanted for Xmas so I put together a small list of some books that I wanted. She told me it wasn’t enough and she didn’t want to get me just books so I added cheap(ish) makeup and skin care stuff.
altogether, my entire list was like $600-$700 worth of stuff. I was NOT expecting to get all of the stuff on my list.
Xmas rolled around and I opened all the gifts from my partner and he got me 20 items and only 3-4 of them were from my list. The rest were things that I just didn’t have any use for and didn’t ask for because I didn’t need or want them.
Like multiple pairs of the same brand of shoes, which I already have plenty of. I’m like okay whatever, it’s our first Xmas it’s not a big deal. Well, today we went to his parents’ Christmas and he has been hyping it up and telling me that a majority of my list was bought and I got a lot of the stuff from my list. Obviously, I was excited, but as I opened all my gifts, out of the 7 people who shopped for me, only three items of the probably 30 gifts I opened were things I asked for.
I probably wouldn’t be as upset but half of the items were clothes that his mom asked my partner if I’d wear and he said no but she still bought them anyway, and we’re redecorating our house so I just bought all new bedding, and curtains and guess what she got me!
New bedding that she asked if I had liked two months ago and I said no because it wasn’t my style. It’s a grey and mint green Chevron blanket that was super popular in like 2012. Everything in my house is neutral and earthy tones and she knows this so I’m just confused.
Well, my partner asked me (in private) if I liked my gifts from his parents and I said that I liked the ones I asked for, and he got upset with me and said I should be grateful I got things at all. But the things I didn’t ask for were NOT cheap. Altogether his mom alone spent at least $300-$400 on just me.
I just feel like if you are going to go through all that effort why not just get the things on the list YOU asked me to make?
I never really celebrated Christmas before my partner, so I do if this is a normal thing. I feel bad because I’m not gonna use 90% of the things I received but like why would you get things that you were told I didn’t want/like?
So AITJ?”
33. AITJ For Not Letting My Husband Spend The Holidays With His Family?
“My bio dad is not in the picture; he left when I was really young, but my stepdad has been in my life since I was six. He taught me how to write, ball a fist, ride a bike, and the list goes on.
Now, that’s not to say we weren’t without our problems. He was a recovering addict who relapsed a lot. When he wasn’t doing illegal stuff, he was drinking and either one turned him into a jerk. So it’s safe to say we had our ups and downs. Cycles of us talking and not talking. He relapsed in spring and we were in a cycle of not talking, but he recently got sober.
We had a discussion that we were going to meet up and talk. I was ready to form a relationship again. He was really happy to get his family back. He and my mom were doing good. He really seemed to be doing a whole lot better.
My dad died on Christmas Eve leaving behind a wife and five children.
My husband (El) and I usually spend Christmas Eve with his mother’s family. So as I got the call, I looked at him and told him we had to cancel the plans with his mother.
You would think that their response to it would be, ‘I’m so sorry. Take care of what you need to take care of.’ No. His mother asked if he could make it for just an hour which he replied, ‘No, my wife needs me.’ I’m going to be honest and maybe this makes me a jerk.
I knew an hour would turn into longer and I really didn’t want to be without him. His father’s response to him not making it for Christmas was, ‘I can’t get a refund on the things I bought.’ Then his grandmother, his sister, and his aunt all texted him saying they didn’t understand. He said to all of them, ‘I know you are upset.
I understand, but my wife needs me. I will cook you dinner later this week, but my wife and I won’t be coming to Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner.’
I can understand why they would want him. We spent Thanksgiving with my family and he’s in school so it’d been a while since they’d seen him; his grandmother’s old.
I get it, but their texting didn’t stop after Christmas. His aunt texted him the other day implying that I was selfish, that they needed him for Christmas, and that I didn’t even like my dad that much. And it just keeps going. El’s usually a chill person. I’d say out of the two of us I have the worse temper, but I have never seen him this mad and he’s been mad for days.
He won’t tell me exactly what they say but he gives me a synopsis and I have a feeling it’s much worse than he’s letting on.
Honestly, they should be proud of the son they raised. El is a rock for a lot of people in my family. They consider him family. My mom gave him a key to her house.
He’s made her laugh, he’s held her while she sobbed, he got my brother to open up, etc. He’s been amazing.”
32. AITJ For Acting Rudely Toward My Sister's Ex?
“I (24 f) am one of five children and the youngest of the three girls.
My older sisters ‘Donna’ (30 f) and ‘Laura’ (28 f) both dated ‘John’ (31 m) at one point in time and our family had to endure the drama of it all. Donna dated John first in college but broke up due to conflicting goals for the future. A couple of months after the breakup, John showed up at a family event as Laura’s new partner.
Laura insisted that nothing physical happened while Donna was with him and that since Donna claimed to be over the break up there shouldn’t be an issue. I called nonsense. There were obvious shouting matches and tears but Laura insisted that she and John were in love and our parents eventually caved when Laura announced her pregnancy and proposal.
I was completely on Donna’s side in the beginning and kept my distance from Laura but everything blew up when Laura caught John and Donna together while she was pregnant. Laura’s body was obviously different and John claimed that he wasn’t attracted to what she became. I was disgusted with him and confused with what to do about my sisters, so I just kept my distance.
It was rough for the family and I don’t think Donna and Laura will ever be close again but it is what it is. John is the father of my nephew so my parents and other siblings had to at least pretend to be nice.
John still gets the obligatory invitation, but no one really wants him there.
I don’t know why but for some reason John has started taking an interest in trying to talk to me. He’ll always try to go beyond the polite greeting with me and I just try my hardest to get away. John got ahold of my new phone number and claims that he only did it because he wanted to make sure he could be in contact with everyone who had frequent interactions with his son and has tried to friend/follow me on social media.
I want this guy to leave me alone but he’s not getting the hint. At the last family event that he came to he kept trying to talk to me and would follow me around a little bit. I gave him one polite greeting and then kept giving him the cold shoulder. Eventually, he cornered me and asked quite loudly why I was being so rude to him.
I told him the truth. I don’t like him and I will always think less of him for his role in my sisters’ estrangement. He stormed off and I’ve been getting messages from my mom, my aunt, Laura, and my grandma that it was rude, and that I owed it to my nephew to apologize to his dad.
John has stated that he will accept an apology in the form of a home-cooked dinner at my place. But I don’t want to do that. AITJ?
Edit:
1. My mom, Laura, and my aunt agree that my cooking for John isn’t unreasonable but do not support it being a one-on-one private event.
2. My brothers do not like John and have on more than one occasion wanted to have a ‘talk’ with him but my mom and Laura have mostly kept them at bay because if something were to happen John would press charges.
3. John cornered me in the living room on the couch in front of the women in my family. The men were outside drinking beer.
4. My family is from the American South, so my mom, her sister, and my maternal grandma operate under that ‘Southern Hospitality’ mindset and believe all women should be polite, hospitable, presentable, and tactful rather than being direct and causing a scene.
5. Laura and John were engaged at the time and while nothing has been officially called off John refused to marry into a family where he feels he isn’t welcomed or respected and that’s why he gets invited to stuff.”
31. AITJ For Wanting To Eat Greek Food On My Birthday?
“I (16 M, yay!) turned 16 today and in my family, the birthday person usually gets to eat dinner at the restaurant of their choice for their birthday.
I am an incredibly adventurous eater compared to the rest of my family, but I have two siblings (14 M and 12 F), and they are rather picky eaters. For context, my brother does not like noodles, most uncommon fruits and veggies, and almost exclusively eats chicken (usually fried, with or without buffalo sauce) and other fried foods.
My sister will eat noodles and most fruits and veggies but dislikes pizza, hamburgers, hot dogs, chocolate chips/CC cookies, and other foods. My mom will eat all of the above but is picky with foreign cuisines except Vietnamese and Mexican. Nobody has any food allergies or autistic food divergences.
There is a Greek restaurant near me that my dad and I love, and I was hoping that for my birthday the whole family could eat there.
Usually, my siblings and mom would refuse to try it because they don’t like that food even tho my siblings have never tried it. I brought the idea of eating at the Greek restaurant to my mom yesterday, and she said I should eat somewhere that my siblings would eat. I mentioned I ate where my siblings wanted at their birthdays (brother had wings, I ate even tho I don’t like wings, sister had burger chain but I don’t mind) and that I want the same level of respect given to me on my birthday.
It devolved into an argument, and I talked to my dad about it. He said he would take me to get the Greek food, but I was insistent on my siblings, at the very least, trying the food for one day. AITJ for not wanting to accommodate my siblings on my birthday?”
30. AITJ For What I Said To My Friend Who's Not Making An Effort To See His Kid?
“I have a friend, J who is 35.
He got a girl pregnant when he was 25 (didn’t use protection) and she had a son who he had only seen when he was a baby as they broke up and he moved out of her home when the kid was 1.
He says the reason he has never seen the kid since is because the mum doesn’t want him to.
He doesn’t pay anything for the kid and hasn’t spoken to either of them since he left. He seems very carefree and matter-of-fact about it. Then when he’s had a drink he says that the girl was using him for money (he was living rent-free at her home) and he doesn’t want to deal with her.
J has a partner now who doesn’t want children, and he’s always trying to convince her saying things like ‘It will be different when it’s ours.’ She seems really uncomfortable and has told him over and over she doesn’t like kids and doesn’t want any. She’s told me that he tries to get her to get off the pill which I think is a really bad sign and I’ve told her to be careful.
I was at the pub with them last night and his brother called him out on trying to pressure his partner into having children. And he said ‘Well I’d like one so…’ And his brother said, ‘You’ve got a child, you just never see him.’ They argued a bit and then J asked me what I thought.
Saying he would like to see that child but his ex wouldn’t let him.
I answered that his ex could not stop him from seeing his child if he really wanted to, that is his decision. Suggested that maybe he needs to reach out or at least offer to provide for the child’s upbringing since he did get her pregnant and didn’t take precautions.
I have another male friend who had to go through court to see his daughter, and he fought for it.
J got angry and said he’s not putting his kid through that. His brother asked what would happen if he got his current partner pregnant, they had a kid and then they broke up. J said that would be up to her.
AITJ (and is his brother) for our reaction to J not taking any responsibility for seeing his kid?”
29. AITJ For Not Agreeing With Everyone?
“I work in a lab and there is this guy ‘Patrick’ who everyone pretty much worships. He is a medical scientist and absolutely brilliant, I mean other companies have tried to steal him. Also, a lot of the women at work are low-key in love with him (objectively he is very good-looking).
He got engaged recently and brought his fiancée to the company Christmas party, and everyone very much wanted to meet her because before her he was just burning through 20-something-year-olds, and people were shocked when he got engaged (yes, it is a bit of a gossipy bunch).
We were hanging out at the Christmas party and people were making a big deal about his fiancé, how pretty she is, and how impressive her job is (a corporate lawyer) and someone clarified that it was Patrick’s first marriage and he said yes he was getting married for the first time at 50 and never thought he would get married because he was waiting for someone as ‘smart and beautiful’ as he was, didn’t want one without the other and didn’t want to settle.
Everyone was like aww, and I kind of made a face. My friend who was standing next to me tapped my arm and was like that was so cute, and I said to be honest that sounds way more creepy than romantic, and if a guy said that to me I would run.
Someone told me in private that was rude and why do I have to be so cynical, what he said was so cute.
Anyway, I didn’t think about it until today but Patrick invited someone to his house tonight in front of me (not that I’d expect an invite, we aren’t friends) and said he knew that was bad etiquette, but his fiancée is cooking and since I told her to run away from him I don’t deserve a meal. I was like, Well to be fair what you said was kind of creepy, and we laughed it off, but it made me wonder, AITJ?”
28. AITJ For Telling My Partner To Stop Telling People That He Likes To Read?
“I (28 F) love to read. I usually have a couple of books going at once and the people at my local library know me by name. I also love talking about books with other people – I get a lot of good recommendations that way, and it’s also a way to bond over a shared interest. My partner (28 M) never reads.
He does spend a lot of time reading the news, but never books. However, whenever he’s a part of one of the conversations, or if anyone asks, he always says that he likes to read. It’s also listed as an interest on his resume/SM. I think he may be embarrassed by/self-conscious about the fact that he doesn’t, as we’re pretty nerdy and hang out with nerdy people, and people sometimes associate reading with being more intelligent.
This seems like it shouldn’t matter, but we’ve been together for five years and it’s just one of those things that grates on me.
Last weekend it happened again, and when I got home I calmly/politely asked that he stop saying that he likes to read. He got very defensive and said that he does like to read, he read all the time growing up and books are really important to him, but he is too busy to read now.
I said that we’ve been seeing each other for five years and the entire time he hasn’t read a single book, and that if you are too busy to read one book in five years, then you don’t actually like to read. I also pointed out that when he talks about how he loves hiking/camping I don’t pretend to like them, even though some people might look down on that.
He said that I was being childish and that it would be one thing if he went around bringing up the topic of reading all the time, but he only talks about it when people ask. AITJ for bringing up something relatively unimportant that I can tell he’s self-conscious about?”
27. AITJ For Not Letting My Brother Be The First One To Use Our New House's Toilet?
“My husband (31 M) and I (28 F) just bought a house several days ago.
It’s really exciting; we’ve been living in his apartment for the past year which has been fine, but I’m really looking forward to having something that’s truly ours. As you might guess, my family has been excited too. After we closed the deal, we went out to dinner with my Mom, Dad, and one of my brothers.
Let’s call him Kyle (30 M).
Kyle has a story about him. Apparently, when we all moved into OUR first house when I was about 4 and he was 6, Kyle was sick, and almost immediately after moving into the home, went to the bathroom and took an absolutely nasty dump on the toilet. Afterward, my mother turned to my dad and said, ‘Well, at least someone Christened the bathroom.’ That’s it.
That’s the whole story. I’ve never found it particularly hilarious or anything, it’s just one of those stories that your parents like to tell every few months and you smile and nod along. Kyle, on the other hand, absolutely loves the story.
Ever since then, whenever somebody in the family moves into a new home, Kyle insists on ‘Christening’ their bathroom.
He did it when I moved into my apartment, he did it when our eldest brother moved into his home, and I’m certain he did it when he moved into his own apartment. My parents also find it pretty funny that he continues to do this.
At dinner, Kyle made a comment about looking forward to Christening the bathroom at my and my husband’s home.
My husband obviously had no idea what this meant, and my parents and Kyle explained it to him.
After hearing the story, he muttered something and then quickly moved the conversation along. Later that night, he told me in no uncertain terms that he thought it was a bizarre tradition and he did not want to take part in it.
Even though I personally don’t care either way (I find it stupid but harmless), it’s a perfectly reasonable opinion to have, so I agreed with him.
I was talking to my mom last night, and when we discussed the dinner we’d had, she brought up telling my husband about the tradition. I told her that we would not be letting Kyle ‘Christen’ our bathroom, and she tried to persuade me otherwise.
I said no. I thought that was that, but since yesterday, she, my dad, and Kyle have all been texting me that I should follow the family tradition. I texted my eldest brother though, and he said I should stand my ground. And obviously, my husband agrees with that. I don’t really plan on changing my mind about this, but, AITJ?”
26. AITJ For Not Planning On Giving My Absent Mom A Mother's Day Gift?
“My mom got a job when I (f 14) was 6. She works as a teacher’s aide and she said it would be a good thing because she’s off after school and during breaks. It was okay at first, then she would stay after school to tutor her students and ask my grandparents to pick me up and watch me for an hour after school.
No big deal, it was only an hour. Then she started a tutoring business after school and was busy after school until 7-8 at night 6 days a week. My grandparents said they couldn’t watch me for that long so she hired a nanny.
My mom somehow became more absent after that. Then she fired the old nanny and got a live-in nanny because she was too tired to spend time with me or take care of me after work.
She also never took a day off of work for me. She once took a morning off when I was 11 because I was getting surgery, then the second I was allowed to go home, she left me with my nanny and went back to work.
She didn’t show up to most of my birthday parties, school plays, talent shows, or even my middle school graduation.
My nanny was the only person who showed up for those things.
My nanny’s birthday just passed and I got her some earrings from Pandora, a couple of bath bombs, and an eyeshadow palette. My mom saw the earrings and told me she wanted me to get her those for Mother’s Day. I told her she shouldn’t expect a Mother’s Day gift from me since we’re basically roommates at this point.
She yelled at me for disrespecting her about how she provides for me and pays for my nanny and we haven’t spoken since. I’m starting to feel bad so I wanted to know if I was the jerk.”
25. AITJ For Kicking Out My Guests?
“So I (21 M) had a birthday party tonight. Nothing huge, I invited my sister Amanda (17 F) and her partner JJ (17 NB), best friend Matteo (22 M), and his twin sister Myra (22 F). The plan was to order pizza, do some awful karaoke singing, and then watch a movie.
When Matteo and Myra arrived, they had brought Myra’s on/off partner Jeff. Without asking which really irked me, since it was supposed to be my birthday party after all. I don’t really like Jeff but I decided to put up with it. Though I did take Matteo aside and tell him I would have appreciated a heads-up.
Things started out rough. Myra practically had to beg for Jeff’s attention to get him to answer what pizza he wanted, he was short with her and barely looked up from his phone.
Karaoke started, and so did the drinking which only made it funner. My sis and her partner were having a blast laughing at us since they were the only ones sober.
Myra bugs Jeff to do a duet. Jeff doesn’t even answer or move when she starts begging. She practically screamed for him to sing with her and he snapped no and went silent again.
I’m fuming by now and sending Matteo quite a few glares.
Myra starts singing All the Single Ladies, and then I Hate Myself for Loving You, clearly to get a rise out of him, which worked and they immediately began to argue.
How Myra is obsessed with marriage and Jeff doesn’t like it when she suffocates him. Jeff argues he didn’t even wanna be ‘at this stupid party’ but she wouldn’t let him stay home.
I step up and tell them both to knock it off and get out of my house. Jeff screamed at me and called me a nosy little jerk.
Matteo tried to argue back but I had enough and kicked him out too.
I felt relieved but guilty when they left, but Amanda and JJ both said it was about time I stepped up and ‘grew a pair’, which made me laugh and feel a little better.
Matteo texted me later on when we were watching the movie and told me that I should be ashamed of myself for not defending Myra when Jeff was being a jerk.
I tore him a new one for even letting Myra bring him. Said it was my party and Jeff wasn’t invited in the first place. How he knew I didn’t like this guy and thought I wouldn’t mind an uninvited guest at my birthday party. He called me a birthday brat for kicking out Myra and Jeff because they were simply having relationship problems. I called him delusional and said he should lose my number til he realizes what a jerk he was.
He replied ‘Takes one to know one’ just before I blocked his number.
I plan to reach out when the dust settles, but am I the jerk for how things went down?”
24. AITJ For Walking Out Of My Gay Daughter's Wedding Rehearsal?
“My wife is homophobic. So was I. We’ve both been working on it, but her upbringing was harsher than mine, so she’s progressing at a slower rate.
My daughter is marrying a woman & my wife isn’t going to the wedding. I’m going to the wedding, but I don’t like the way they’ve been talking about my wife at the rehearsal.
It always starts with my daughter’s significant other (a woman). She’ll say something out loud like, ‘Oh, I know who we’re not letting around our children.’ Someone’ll ask, ‘Who are you talking about?’ She’ll point at me & say, ‘His wife is so homophobic she can’t even come to her own daughter’s wedding.’ And then she’ll say to me, ‘You’re a good guy.
I don’t know how you put up with her.’
And I’ll say, ‘Because I was there a few months ago, so I know what she’s going through. And I see the work that she’s been putting in.’
The woman will pat my hand & say, ‘You don’t have to make excuses for her.’
I talked to my daughter about this & she just shrugged & said, ‘Well, I guess Mom should have been here.’
I called my wife & told her what they were saying & that I was coming home, but she said that someone needed to be at our daughter’s wedding & to just let them say whatever they wanted about her.
Today they were drinking as we did the dinner table rehearsal of how everyone would walk in & where we would sit. The guy decided to give a toast, & say, ‘I can’t stand religious, homophobic bigots. Why can’t people just love who they love? I just want to give a toast to my future wife husband for overcoming that & being patient enough to stay with his witch of a wife.’
That was too much for me. Everyone was cheering & I got up & walked away from the table. My daughter caught up to me & asked where I was going. I told her I was going to my hotel room to pack. She begged me to come back inside & I eventually relented & said I wouldn’t go home, but that I was going back to the hotel room & that she should talk to her SO because if it happened again, I was going home.
My daughter got angry & tried to defend her SO by saying that she was really hurt & embarrassed by my wife not showing up. I said, ‘Just like you got mad right now & tried to defend your wife, how do you think I feel listening to these strangers call my wife – & your mother – a witch?
I’m going back to the hotel room & if I hear any more talk like this, I’m leaving.’
She said, ‘If you leave for home, don’t come back’ & went back inside.
I went to the hotel room & I was getting ready to go home but my wife called (because our daughter had texted her that I had ruined the rehearsal & I was about to not show up for the wedding) & convinced me to stay.
I’m giving it one more chance. There’s one more rehearsal tonight & the wedding’s tomorrow.
AITJ for ruining the rehearsal by walking out like that?
WIBTJ if they say something crazy tonight & I leave & not show up for the wedding?”
However, I'm really glad you were able to go to your daughter's wedding. But this one sentence:
-"It always starts with my daughter’s significant other (a woman)."- Yeah we know!! I don't think you're as okay with it as you think you are.
But I guess you not attending because your new DIL is mouthy and disrespectful is a much better looking excuse than you not attending because she's a woman.
23. AITJ For Not Pooping In The "Pooping Bathroom"?
“My wife and I just returned from a vacation with my sister, BiL, and their kids. One of the first things my sister did was choose for everyone which bathroom the adults should use for pooping purposes.
The Airbnb was a nice house with multiple bathrooms and she picked one at the far end of a hallway away from the kitchen/living room. Okay, that made sense to me and I didn’t see a problem.
Until I had to poop. I entered the designated bathroom and saw the dreaded round seat toilet.
I absolutely hate round seat toilets. It feels like I have to choose between pooping on the back rim of the seat or moving fwd and having my junk touch the porcelain. There is just not enough front to back clearance for a comfortable position. In a pinch (pun not intended) I will use one, when you have to go you have to go but Ive been known to hold it until I got home to my elongated toilet if it wasnt dire.
But the other toilets were elongated seat toilets, MUCH more comfortable for a man to use.
So I chose the bathroom appropriate for me and used it. The rest of the adults in the house are looking at me like I made a faux pas by stinking up a ‘non-pooping bathroom’. I said, why did we pick a house with three bathrooms then if we are only going to poop in one?
Or we make the elongated toilet the pooping bathroom? The elongated bathroom is closer to the kitchen etc… so nobody wanted that. The ladies didn’t understand my objection to round seats, understandable given our anatomies differ. My BiL did but he says he has no problem using a round seat but could understand me.
In the end, it didn’t really dampen the vacation vibe or cause any strife, just jokes or eye-rolling about me stinking up the place.
My sister is prim and proper so I knew she would have preferred it her way & I think she just bit her tongue for sake of peace. But I have to wonder, is this a thing? Designating a pooping bathroom in a house? And my hatred of round seat toilets? AITJ?”
22. AITJ For Telling My Partner To Stop Moving Things Around The House?
“So about 2 and a half months ago my (29 m) partner (27 f) and I decided to move in together.
Since I owned my place and she was renting hers we decided that she would move into my place. Before this happened she made it very clear that she would move into my place only if it became ‘our’ place. Meaning she didn’t want the power dynamic of it being my home and her the guest.
I totally understand that and said that was fine with me. Once she moved we found places for all of her things and I thought we were good. The next weekend though she started to reorganize the kitchen to put ‘her touch on the place.’ I was fine with that and helped her put things where she wanted.
The problem is it doesn’t stop. In the last 10 weeks we have reorganized the kitchen 3 times, the living room twice, the bathroom 4 times, our bedroom 3 times, etc. And I do not mean small changes – these are full ‘move all the furniture’ level reworks. It’s led to some disagreements because she’s a very neat person and likes things put back in the right place and will get mad at me if I put my toothbrush in the place it was supposed to go back in reorg-2 rather than the current layout.
The tipping point was when I got written up for work for being late after she moved my wallet and keys while I was walking the dog and then left without telling me they were now in a random drawer in the other room. When she got home I told her that we needed to pick a layout for things and stick with it and that this continual re-organization was getting old and causing problems. She got mad and claimed that she knew I was going to ‘pull rank’ and start acting like I could make rules because it wasn’t really ‘our house’.
I didn’t think I was being unreasonable but she’s angry with me and a mutual friend has said that I have to let her make the space her own. I was hoping for some second opinions. AITJ?
P.S. The house is in my name and I’m the only one paying for it at this point in time.”
21. AITJ For Not Messaging My Biological Mom On Mother's Day?
“My (F, 26) mother (47) had me while she was in a toxic relationship. When I was seven months old, she left my father, but also abandoned me at her sisters’ and went away to start anew.
I lived with my aunt for the first seven years of my life without any contact from my mom.
I don’t remember much, but I do remember that I was taken care of, but not really loved. My aunt was generally indifferent to me. My aunt died and I was sent to foster care as there wasn’t any close blood relative in my family. There, I was adopted by two wonderful people. I call them my mum and dad and they are the most important people to me.
Last November, out of nowhere, my bio mother found out about me through social media. She said that she randomly found my name and reached out. When she found out it was really me, she was overjoyed. I was very confused and hurt at first because she had taken no initiative to contact me before this, so I generally ignored her for a long time.
She kept sending my texts on Instagram.
I finally gave her my phone number and we talked, for the first time. She sent me pictures of when I was born. She had still preserved them, which touched me. We met at a cafe in February, and she told me that she got remarried and has her own family now.
Surprisingly, I didn’t feel any resentment. I don’t see her as my mother, I just see her as someone who birthed me, so I don’t have much emotional attachment towards her.
We met one or two more times after. I don’t really consider her my mom, so I didn’t send her any Mother’s Day wishes or call her.
Yesterday she sent me a long text saying what I did broke her heart. She is trying really hard to rebuild our relationship, and I’m not acknowledging her. A simple Mother’s Day wish would have made her day, and I was punishing her for something that she did a long time ago, something she had no choice in.
I had made an Instagram post celebrating my adoptive mom, so I guess that’s what prompted this. I left her message on read and didn’t reply because I honestly don’t know what to do.
AITJ for not wishing her a happy mothers day?”
20. AITJ For Being Angry At My Dad For Having A New Partner In The Middle Of His Divorce With My Stepmom?
“My (18f) dad (52 m) is in the process of divorcing my stepmother (49 f).
It was a hard shift for my two brothers (17 m and 13 m) as we all had a good relationship with her. This is his second marriage, both of which ended with him constantly having an affair. My relationship with my father isn’t nonexistent, but it definitely classifies as unstable.
So to start things off, my dad is notorious for having an affair with women younger than him.
I know that it happens, but I avoid that conversation. However, in the midst of a conversation with him a few days back he mentioned he had a new partner (we’ll call her Lauren). He stated he wasn’t looking for a relationship, but that she pursued him.
I got a little upset with this because I wasn’t moved on from the ending with our stepmom, (mind you, when they broke up he lied to all of us and said that she was all around a terrible person with the hopes that we would not contact her).
In addition, he and my stepmom are not even officially divorced yet. Without even asking him to, he sent me pictures of her, asking me to meet her soon. I noticed she looked extremely young. I asked him how old she was.
The girl that he was with was 25. He went on to say that he took her on an international trip the past weekend.
This made me furious. I said I thought it was gross that he was with a girl half his age, and ‘How would he react if I brought home a 46-year-old as my significant other?’ I mentioned that I thought was embarrassing for him to even ask me to meet a woman as his partner who is closer to my age than his.
I proceeded to say that he was setting a bad example for my brothers and that all of us could have benefited from him not being in a relationship for a small amount of time after the divorce and reiterated that he should be embarrassed of himself.
Boy did this make him mad. He essentially went on to say that he didn’t want to talk about it over text and that if I wanted to talk about it I could drive up to his house (a one-hour drive) if I wished to talk to him about it any further.
He then called my brother (17) to say I was ‘being a jerk’ and ‘Why couldn’t I just be happy for him’ and ‘Lauren’s age and my dad’s relationship status is none of my business’. He then proceeded to say ‘I was going to go to her graduation and bring her a gift, but now I won’t because I don’t like her attitude.’ Now I’m wondering if it was wrong of me to not try to be supportive of his relationship, despite resenting him for what he’s done.
So AITJ?”
19. AITJ For Stop Helping My Brother And His Wife With Finances?
“I (30 F) am married to a woman (28) and we have an 8-month-old. My brother and his wife (34, 32) have two kids (13 M, 6 F). We used to be close but they joined a church when my nephew was young and our relationship changed. We haven’t really talked much for about 6 years.
My wife and I are financially stable and help family in whatever way we can.
We have never felt taken advantage of until this situation with my brother and SIL. We buy clothes and school supplies for both kids, pay for nephew’s summer camp, and private lessons for various interests.
Last spring when I shared the news of our pregnancy I got a lengthy message from my brother letting me know that they can no longer support my lifestyle and while they love me and hope I change my mind, I was no longer welcome in their home.
They didn’t want to confuse the kids. It’s not the kids’ fault so I still paid for all the usual stuff last year.
I’m supposed to pay for camp this summer but they’ve decided to send him to their church’s camp instead. It costs double. They didn’t ask if I was willing or able to pay more.
I wouldn’t normally mind but why would I want to pay for him to be taught my lifestyle is ‘malicious and sinful’? I messaged them and said they should’ve asked me before changing his plans/budget for camp. They said they didn’t need my permission to send him to church camp. I said that should mean they don’t need my money either.
My brother tried to convince me that it would be beneficial to my nephew. They already promised him and he would be disappointed since they can’t afford it. I do feel terrible for my nephew but I don’t think they should’ve promised him anything before talking to me.
Two days ago he called to see if I’d reconsider but I stood firm.
He said I shouldn’t take whatever resentments I have toward him and his wife on his kids. I said it goes both ways. If they have a problem with my wife and I, my daughter is innocent. Does he even know her name? Birthday? What she looks like? Has he ever asked? After a long silence, he said ‘Come on, OP.
You know that’s not the same. She isn’t even actually related to you. Nephew is your blood and you guys were always so close when he was little. He misses you’. I hung up and have been crying since.
My wife and I talked and are considering ‘cutting them off’ and putting the money I usually spend on them into a college fund instead.
My mom says I have every right to be angry at my brother but should reconsider for my nephew’s sake. It’s not his fault and he won’t understand. He’ll think now that I have a daughter I don’t care about them anymore. I do feel terrible about it but I’m at a loss.
So, am I the jerk? I’m so lost and confused and don’t know how to proceed.”
18. AITJ For Telling My Aunt That She Would Be A Bad Mother?
“I am currently pregnant with twins and have 2 young children 2 & 3 both boys
I had all my children in my teens and each and every time I got pregnant my aunt belittled me and made me feel bad for choosing to keep my children because I was in my teens.
I have married my husband and the father to all my children. After our first child, we are doing well for ourselves. Besides our ages, I have started my own business that sells beauty products which is doing pretty well, and my husband is currently getting himself through college and working a part-time job. We are happy.
Yes, things could definitely be better but the most important part is my family and I are happy.
My aunt’s dream has always been to have a daughter. When she found out I was having twin daughters she became more pushy about me giving them to her. She messages me almost every day asking me to adopt them and makes passive-aggressive posts online about how teens make bad mothers.
I attended a family event and a bunch of my family members were all teaming up on me stating that I wouldn’t be able to handle twins, that my children would have a better life with my aunt and I should’ve given my sons to her. I felt extremely uncomfortable and told everyone that it’s not their place to decide whether or not I give my children away because I’m the one who has to live with that decision.
I also told my aunt that someone who bullies and gangs up on someone to give away their child would make an awful mother, that I would never give her any of my children, and that she only wants me to give her my children so that she could take the easy way out and she will no longer be allowed around my children (an important part to add is this was all done in front of my sons).
I got my son together and left, my husband didn’t attend but was beyond angry when I told him what happened.
My mom who was initially on my side felt that I went too far and should’ve just left and I have been getting a lot of messages from family members claiming that what I said was uncalled for.
I feel that having a bunch of people telling me to give up my child is uncalled for.
AITJ for telling my aunt that she would make a bad mother?”
17. AITJ For Wanting My Kids To Work On My Family's Farm?
“I (35 M) grew up in the countryside and I grew up working on my family farm. I am your typical ranch boy who is also very gay.
My husband (36 M) is the exact opposite. He grew up in London and he was astonished when he first came to my family’s house (note: we have been together for 13 years). I still remember his first time saying: ‘Wow, those cows are really big.’ My family loves to mock him but I know they love him with their whole hearts and he loves them too.
His family is really homophobic and my sisters were the ones who took him down the aisle at our wedding. He only sees his older brother from his family.
We have 3 kids (1 from surrogacy who is 7 M, and 2 kinship adoption from his cousins who are 15 M and 13 M) and we currently live in Manchester, which is only a 90-minute train drive from my hometown so I always try to bring the kids into family farm and when they are there, they always do stuff here and there but last month, my dad had an offer for the older ones.
He asked them to stay at them in summer vacation full time and work for them (INFO: They will work from 7 am to 12 pm 3 days a week (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday)) and he will give them a reasonable salary (twice of the minimum wage each month).
The kids were eager with this (they love working with horses) and I thought this was a good idea but when I asked my husband, he said I was ruining their summer.
He said, ‘They will have this time once in their lives, they should be living their teenage lives to the fullest, they shouldn’t be working in poop-filled stables.’ I couldn’t hold myself and laughed. Working in the stables in summer times is hard but it gave me the chance to socialize with other teenagers my age and gave me a good work ethic, and they would be working for their grandpa so we knew he would treat them well.
Also, my family and my hometown love the kids so I know they will have endless summer night events and they will even go on a 2-week vacation with us to the Canary Islands in August. I told him ‘You are being really ridiculous right now.’ He looked mad and went to my sister’s house.
My sister thinks I handled this really wrong and my father thinks I could have been more compassionate but I think he is just being a city boy and trying to undermine the experience I had, so AITJ?”
16. AITJ For Discouraging My Daughter's Dream Of Becoming A Singer?
“My daughter Lailah is going to be a junior next year, and ever since she was little she LOVED watching shows like American Idol, the Voice, etc., and dreams of being a famous singer.
While I think it’s all well and good to sing as a hobby, she is simply not good at music. Lailah has a rather high-pitched voice, kind of like a cartoon or young toddler, and when she sings it sounds like nails on a chalkboard and I’m certain she’s tone deaf because she insists her voice is not high at all.
I know that’s awful as a mom to say but it’s true. We even hired a vocal coach before 2020 and the lady outright told me she felt guilty about taking my money because she ‘simply has no musical talent’ in her words. She loves to sing at family events and it always results in chuckles at best or insults at worst from younger kids.
She’s always kept her head up though and never let these comments get to her, which I admire a lot but I wish she had more realistic adult plans by now…
Lailah’s grades have been struggling for years (mostly Ds) and we argue about it all the time. Her excuse is always ‘I don’t need to learn this because I will be a famous singer!’ This obsession has become a legitimate problem because she shoots down anything unrelated to singing when it comes to thinking about college or a job, which she also insists she will never need because she will one day become a world-famous singer.
Today I told her she should be looking for a summer job and she again refused and said now that she’s old enough she wants to audition for a singing competition (undecided on which). I know these shows, and most of them will have a poor singer audition only to mock them on TV.
I’m not letting that happen to Lailah and told her I am no longer tolerating this obsession and that she needs to apply herself in other areas soon if she hopes to get any sort of career because she simply is not a good singer. She started bawling and called me an abusive mother.
I feel like a jerk now and am not sure if I should have handled this differently. Am I the jerk?”
15. AITJ For Changing The WiFi Password?
“I (late 20s F) live in a very average neighborhood for the area – not affluent by any means, but not terrible either. It’s in the UK and anyone in the UK and specifically Northern England will know what I’m talking about.
All of the houses on the street are packed next to one another in a row without any gap in between, and this is the standard unless you’re pretty loaded.
Recently, the family (family of 5, the 3 kids are <14 years of age, and the parents are in their mid-30s) nextdoor has really fallen on hard times.
The woman, let’s call her Kate, lost her job recently due to worsening arthritis and the disability payment she gets is a fraction of her old salary. The man, let’s call him Dave, seems to work constantly, but despite this, she has expressed a lot of financial concerns to me. We aren’t close, but neighborly and chat, and my niece who lives down the road is good friends with her son.
Anyway. 2 days ago she texted me frantically at 8 in the morning saying her WiFi payment had not gone through, and that she’s really hoping she can borrow my password for just a few days. I thought nothing of it and sent her a pic of the router. What I didn’t expect is for her kids to each connect every single device they own to the WiFi, slowing down my net speed which is purchased for the use of me and my husband down to the point of not being able to stream Netflix…
I changed the password and didn’t say anything this morning, because she’s had long enough to fix any payment issue and I had done my neighborly duty, in my opinion. This morning she texted again and I just ignored it as I had never said she could use it for so many devices anyway and I feel like the agreement was taken advantage of.
AITJ?”
14. AITJ For Telling DCF That I Am Not Financially Helping My Sister-In-Law?
“My brother was born with a life-threatening illness. He married young, I think because he knew he didn’t have much time to live his life. He was taken from us when my nephew was six.
I don’t know how to say this in a PC way, so I’m just going to say it.
My brother’s widow is disabled. She is 80% deaf and I don’t know her official IQ, but it isn’t high. She works as a busser at a buffet and gets government assistance.
Over the past four years (since my brother died) I have helped her with her paperwork for her government aid, helped her set up an auto draft for her bills, and showed her how to budget.
I have never given her money or paid her bills with my own funds. The only things I have ever given her have been gifts on gift-giving holidays, same as I would any other relative. I have been to her house. It is cluttered but clean. She feeds my nephew adequately. Her life isn’t one I would want, but she doesn’t live in squalor.
I got a call from the Department of Children and Families last week. They wanted to ask me about my SiL. I told them she was a good mother who cared for her child adequately and lived within her budget. They asked if I supplemented her lifestyle financially. I said no, because I DON’T. They thanked me.
My mother asked me Saturday if I got any phone calls recently. I asked her if this was about DCF. She said yes and asked what I said. I told her. She was upset. She asked why I didn’t mention all my help. My help wasn’t financial. They asked if I helped financially. I think my mom wants custody of my nephew, which she won’t confirm.
She said she just cares about his welfare and I’m selfish and want things to ‘not be my problem.’
I disagree, but I will admit I don’t see my nephew as my responsibility, other than to be a supportive presence in his life. Was I wrong in how I handled this?”
13. AITJ For Not Helping My Mom Force Her Daughter To Come To My Wedding?
“My mom had a daughter (yes, my half-sister technically) when she met my dad.
Mom was a widow. Her daughter was 6/7 years old. I was born when she was 9. The only boy in my family. I have two younger sisters also. My mom’s daughter never bonded with us. She continued to see herself as an only child. She did not have a good relationship with my dad. She wasn’t rude, but there was a coolness there.
There was never any doubt she didn’t like interacting with us. She moved away for college when she turned 18 and we saw her sometimes, but she mostly kept in touch with mom. We’d see her maybe once or twice a year. Nothing had grown with time. She eloped some years ago and had some kids.
Still nothing different between us. Her kids also know that she doesn’t see us as her siblings or my dad as a parent.
When my fiance and I were planning our big gay wedding we knew we would invite her and she would likely RSVP no, which she did, very quickly I might add. I was fine with that.
But mom was not. She told her she wanted her and the family to come. She told Mom she didn’t want to come. Mom told her it meant a lot. Mom then asked me to change the response of the RSVP or give her another card to check off. I told Mom no. I told her that her daughter did not want to be there and that I would not change her response/let her when she’d be doing so under force and not because she wanted to be there.
I told her I didn’t want someone celebrating my relationship with my future husband who loves neither of us and strongly doesn’t want to be there.
My mom told me she had gotten her to say yes, which from the sounds of it was never actually verbalized, and that I should be glad to have my big sister there.
I refrained from saying she’s not my big sister. But I did tell her we were in no way close, she doesn’t want to be there and I don’t really want her there either. So my answer was a final no.
Mom told me weddings are about family and love and sometimes loving people who don’t realize they want/need it.
She told me I was not behaving like the man she raised me to be. She expressed disappointment in me.
AITJ?”
12. AITJ For Being Angry At My Husband For Calling "Stanger Things" Stupid?
“So my husband and I finally watched Stranger Things together. I’ve been wanting to watch it for years (I’m a child of the 80s and love D&D to boot) but my husband has never been interested because he says the main characters are too ‘ugly’.
With that said, I guess all the hype around the show and my overwhelming enthusiasm in wanting to watch it finally convinced him to give it a try.
We’ve been watching it for the past several weeks. My husband has laughed and I have really enjoyed sharing the show with him. We reminisce about our childhood while watching it.
He even picked up on several Star Wars nods throughout the show that I had missed (we’re both huge Star Wars fans).
Well, tonight we finally got to the 2-hour-plus finale and the show started playing a rendition of Journey’s Separate Ways Worlds Apart and I lost it! Journey is my all-time favorite band.
I grew up listening to it with my parents and even have a scarab tattoo on my back in honor of the band. I gush about how this is my absolute favorite show of all time and my husband scoffs at this. He tells me how I like it so much since all the characters are so ugly.
I defend myself and tell him it has everything I love: the 80s, Journey, and most of all D&D nods. It’s also great writing and great acting. (I didn’t tell him this but I should have—the best thing of all has been watching it with him).
From that point on every few minutes, I heard him say under his breath ‘This is so stupid.’ ‘Stupid’ this and ‘Stupid’ that.
He’s saying it so often that it’s taking my attention away from the show and I began getting frustrated and angry. So after the 10th ‘stupid’ comment, I tell him ‘if you think it’s so stupid, then let’s stop watching it’ and I turn it off.
At that point, he realizes that I am mad and says we can watch it and asks me to turn it back on, but I refuse.
I feel like the mood for watching it is gone and the joy I felt watching it with him is now replaced by irritation. I angrily told him goodnight and picked up my phone to fiddle around with it. He’s now asleep.
I don’t think I want to watch the finale with him anymore and would much prefer to watch it alone.
Am I the jerk for shutting off the show while we were in the middle of the finale and would I be the jerk to watch it without him?”
That alone would make me not want to watch it with him.
Either he has some serious issues, or he's wanting to sh¡t on it just because you love it. Which (unless this is the only instance, which I doubt) is abusive.
11. AITJ For Being Mad At My Mom For Not Letting Me Eat More Pretzels?
“I (15 f) was born when my parents were still teenagers. My parents always talked about how they were not ready to have me and how everything would be better if they did not have kids at age 16.
They talk about it as if it were my fault for being born at the wrong time. 4 years later, they had Seraphine (11 f) and she is definitely the favorite. They always joke about how I should be more like my younger sister, but it never feels like a joke. I am expected to treat her like the spawn of Jesus, and if I don’t, they say how I was lucky they could even afford to raise me, and that I should behave perfectly.
I apparently owe them for their ‘sacrifices’, that sometimes I honestly wish they never made.
My mom’s coworker’s daughter is my friend, and she invited me to her 16th birthday party. My parents wanted to come so they could chat, and they drove me there. I was eating pretzels in the same room as them, and my mom grabbed the bag.
I asked her what was wrong, she said that I already had a lot of food today. We got into an argument, she was doing her usual guilt-tripping and then she started yelling at me. I noticed my friend coming out of the room, and I told her to stop, but I may have raised my voice.
She, very loudly, said, ‘Sorry, this one is very hard to handle. One day she will appreciate the sacrifices that teenage me made to have her,’ and chuckled. I quietly told her to shut up.
She drove me home, and would not talk to me in the car. I did not think I was the jerk at first but I am starting to think so.
Am I?”
10. AITJ For How I Reacted After Getting Diagnosed With Cancer?
“Yesterday I was diagnosed with cancer. The doctor said, ‘You need surgery!’ And left the room. So while I was waiting I sent out a text message to the people who were concerned about my health, or alternatively have concern for my fetus. When the doctor returned she told me ‘You’re going to be an outpatient.
We only have one ultrasound tech, so you’ll come back on Monday. You have lymphoma.’
I just started walking and walking. I was so terrified. Lymphoma is cancer! I have 3 children. I’m 25 weeks pregnant. My lymphoma is right at the top of and on my spine. I’m scared for my life, my fetus, my arms and legs being able to move.
I stopped taking calls. My parents found me wandering. My mother and I were arguing the day before, but put that behind us. She made me come to her house and she, my sister, and I lit a fire, and sat trying to just talk and figure this out. I really want to see the ocean before this all goes down.
But before that, I decided it’d be responsible to speak this over with the father of my fetus. He was off-putting at first but eventually was treating me with kindness and offering support and help with the children we already have.
His mother decided that I owed her an apology, so I sent her a text message apologizing for how I handled my own diagnosis and also answered my phone apologizing.
She decided it wasn’t good enough, and because I said I needed surgery but didn’t immediately have it, and that I embarrassed her in front of her extended family overseas. As a result, my baby daddy attempted to immediately return the children to me and abandon me. He decided he no longer cared, and I guess I get to die alone now.
I thought I’d find hugs, and support from him, I thought I wouldn’t have to do this alone. And now because I took a few moments to gather my thoughts I’m alone forever and will raise 3 children alone while enduring this.
What if I live, but am a paraplegic with no baby? Like totally unable to care for my kids just heartbroken missing my son I’ll never know.
What if I never see the ocean? What if I have to leave my children to these heartless people? What if I never see my children graduate? Or meet my grandchildren? What if I never get to see the ocean? How do I raise 3 children alone, pregnant, and fight cancer? I don’t want to die.
What if I never see the ocean?
How is it that the worst part of learning I have cancer is my baby daddy and his mother? She legit walked into my parents’ house and just yelled at us for not taking calls. It was so awkward. I was so upset, even for my mother. I’m certain my mother wouldn’t be their priority either.
And how’d my baby daddy go from caring about me to deciding I was worthless and why would his mother want that? What kind of messed up family are they?
I want clarity. I want peace. I’m so upset. I’m so angry at them. I don’t understand.
AITJ for going radio silent after hearing I have the big C?”
9. AITJ For Not Wanting To Live With My Wife's Parents Again?
“A year ago my wife (35) and I (30) moved out of her parents’ house.
We lived there because in our country it is normal for kids to live with their parents. We decided to move out because we had no privacy, her mom would walk into the room no matter the time and get angry if we locked the door.
Her father is a nice man, but he likes to raise the volume of the TV so loud I could hear it from the street.
He refuses to get hearing aids as well.
My day-to-day stuff consisted of washing the dishes, cooking, and cleaning everything because my wife works a lot. But her mom would leave dishes in the sink and barge in the room telling me I didn’t clean the dishes or I needed to start cooking when she wanted to eat.
Then they left wouldn’t flush the toilet and tried to blame it on me until I put my foot down on that one.
They are nice people and very considerate in other aspects, but I don’t want to live with them again due to how they can be and how much her mom fights. Today my wife said once her grandparents pass (they are 98 and 97) she is going to move her parents in with us.
I objected based on everything and I am genuinely anxious about living with them again. I said I wanted to maintain our privacy and for us to grow a family together, but she is insistent on moving them in and accuses me of trying to ‘abandon them’
I adore her parents and would have no objection to renting a house close by for them, but she wants them to move in where we live and I don’t think I can live with them again.
AITA?
Edit: I was paying rent and some services the entire time I lived with her parents. So I wasn’t living with them for free.”
8. AITJ For Setting My Dad's Contact Name To "Milk Man"?
“I (14 F) changed my dad’s contact name to Milk Man out of spite. I have 2 older brothers (15 M and 19 M) and my dad absolutely adores them. Sometime last year me and my dad got into an argument causing us to stop talking to each other. This caused my dad to start paying even more attention to my brothers than he already was.
Since my dad was basically no longer present in my life, only cooking if he had to, not showing up to shows or parents’ evenings, and only speaking to me if it was 100% necessary. I change his contact name
The phone that my mum got me had this big butt crack in the top of the screen that kinda looked like Romania or Ethiopia.
My phone would strobe light and had green and pink lines all across the screen. This phone out of nowhere just stopped turning on. Forcing my dad to get a new one because no one could contact me when I was at school.
A few months after having the phone my dad got me it changed to emergency calls only.
Making it impossible to call, receive calls, or send SMS texts. I ended up having to give my phone to my dad so he could get it fixed. While my dad was fixing it he tried checking if he could call himself by typing in his phone number which came up with the contact name ‘milk man’.
I decided since we were basically not present in my life then he should have a more fitting name on my phone. Apparently, my dad didn’t appreciate me putting that as his name and said it was disrespectful.
I understand that it was immature of me but he pretty much stopped being my dad for the past year and Is now saying that I’m a horrible daughter and he’s glad that I’m almost at the age where I can move for college or when I’m 17 I can go to uni.
AITJ?
Edit: I broke my phone running to get to his car because he threatened to leave me at school which is like 4 or 5 miles away. I offered to pay for my phone to be fixed or buy a new one he refused to let me (to make a dumb point). My phone went into emergency calls only after he refused to pay for my phone bill for 2 months.
Which I offered to pay for with my card and my money under his name since I’m not an adult.”
7. AITJ For Taking What's Mine?
“I (22 F) share a house with 7 other roommates, but since there are two kitchens, I share a kitchen on the third floor with my significant other Dave, and another roommate, Nate.
Dave and I were moving out two months before the end of the lease, so we had to pack our stuff and leave.
It was known to all of our housemates that we were moving out, and I had told Nate several times that Dave and I were leaving that week.
So, on the day of moving out, I packed up all my kitchen items. I owned the toaster, most of the dishes, most of the pots/pans, and most of the silverware.
As I loaded my stuff into the U-Haul, Dave asked what Nate was going to do about cooking food for the next two months. I told Dave that Nate could just use the kitchen on the first floor, which is still fully stocked. Dave asks if I warned Nate that I was taking all my stuff today.
I said that I had told Nate several times that I was moving out so he should’ve known I would take my stuff with me. Dave said that he left the stuff that he didn’t need for the time being in the kitchen (microwave, air fryer, plus some stuff on the first-floor kitchen) and told the housemates that he would come to pick them up closer to the end of the lease.
I said that was completely unnecessary for him to do because it was ‘his stuff’.
I don’t think I needed to explicitly tell Nate I was taking my stuff since it’s, ya know, ‘my stuff’. Dave thinks I needed to at least warn Nate since it may have slipped his mind what stuff was mine in the kitchen.
Nate never said anything to either of us, so clearly he wasn’t too upset by it. It’s a stupid, petty argument and we both think we’re in the right. We need the internet to weigh in: AITJ?
Also for context: we are moving in with Dave’s parents temporarily so we do not need the dishes/pots immediately.
Dave said he’d be on my side if we were immediately moving into our new apartment.”
6. AITJ For Not Wanting My Stepsister To Come With Us On Our Family Vacation?
“I (16 f) have a brother (14 m) and a sister (13 f). Our parents divorced a decade ago and my dad remarried. Dad’s wife has a daughter (15 f).
Even before they were married they called us a family and would say she was our sister and we were her siblings. No steps allowed. Except I never felt that way. I will be honest. She is not as important to me as my siblings. I don’t love her. I don’t really have strong feelings about her one way or another.
But from the beginning, I feel like she has been forced on me as the bff-sister who I should want to do everything with and that’s just not it.
My parents get along okay so sometimes mom would ask if we wanted stepsister along. We’d say no. I was more vocal with her when it was just us saying I liked having a week or more of not seeing or spending time with her.
She’d always take the hits with my dad who used to feel like mom should include her in stuff when she was taking us places and would get mad at her when she was taking us to an amusement park but didn’t include her as even a friend.
The last three years have been tough on my dad and his wife.
She was diagnosed with cancer and medical bills have sucked them dry. When Dad found out Mom was planning a vacation with me and my siblings he asked if Mom would take our stepsister with us. Mom asked if we were okay with it again and again the answer was no. Only this time when Dad was going off I told him I voted against her going and I voted against it every time.
I told him to stop forcing her on us, accept the no, and move on.
He was mad. Not about how I spoke to him. Not about letting Mom take the blame. But about the fact I voted against her inclusion, especially this time, with all that is going on. He told me he was ashamed of me and expected more compassion and love for my family.
AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Not Telling Our Parents About My Brother's School Event?
“Ever since my mom decided she was tired of being a stay-at-home mom and got a job last year, along with my dad already working almost the entire day, I (M 24) have been taking care of my little brother (M 7) most of the day.
I buy his clothes, school supplies, food, and cook for him. My parents gave me the money, of course.
I usually tell my parents about how my brother is doing in school and what happened in the day, but last week I decided to omit that he was going to participate in a school play this Monday (yesterday).
I didn’t tell them because not only just one relative for a kid could attend, but my brother also specifically told me he wanted me there. They could’ve gotten out of their jobs earlier for it, but I didn’t want them there, to be honest. While they didn’t even know he had an act coming I helped him rehearse, learn his lines, and even paid his costume.
I just don’t think either of them deserved to be present.
My brother takes his sweet time to change clothes when he gets home, so he still had the costume while my mom came home from work. She asked me why he was dressed in a suit (he played a butler) and I told her it was his costume for the school play.
She told me she doesn’t remember any school play and I said that I indeed didn’t tell either her or dad about it.
She got mad and said I have no right to hide stuff from her when it concerns her son, and that I was breaking the agreement we had. I told her she and Dad didn’t deserve to watch him, sent her the recording of the play I made, and went to my room.
Today they both have been acting cold and I’m kinda regretting I didn’t tell them before, since I’m all the time with my brother and I could’ve spared a day for my mom or dad, and all that stuff.”
4. AITJ For Telling My Roommate I Won't Be Spending Money To Help Her Clean Her Side Of The Room?
“My roommate (19 F) and I (19 F) don’t like each other. I dislike her more than any other person I’ve met at this university.
After many fights where she tried to take over my desk and my side of the room and left her stuff on my side, I’ve drawn an imaginary line in my head around my side. Anything she puts on my desk or in my space, I put on her bed to defend my side.
My side of the room is pristine since I recently decided to hire someone who comes once a week and cleans my side of the room. Now my side is always clean. I deliberately have the woman who comes clean my side and not touch my roommate’s side. I showed her exactly where the line was.
I also invested in a laundry service recently that’s popular with kids at my school. Someone comes to pick up my laundry once a week and delivers it cleaned and folded the next day. I do not allow my roommate to put her laundry in the bag ever. She does her laundry in the basement herself.
We just got into a confrontation because I caught her secretly trying to shove her stuff in my bag, and I said I’d report her the the RA. She was like ‘This is my room and I should be able to use the bag if I want and have my side clean!’ And I said she can fork over a thousand dollars for her own laundry service if she wants, plus more to hire someone to clean, because I surely won’t be spending money to make life easier for my only enemy at this school.
Not to mention, my parents would be outraged if they found out she was benefitting from the services, because they consider her an enemy and because it would be wasting money on someone else.”
3. AITJ For Not Wanting Other Family Members To Know My Location All The Time?
“My husband and I started using Life360 (location sharing app) years ago. He’s a pilot, and as he flew it was crazy convenient to be able to see where the other person was located.
As the kids reached cell phone age (and now a couple driving) we added the app to their phones as well.
So far so good, lots of benefits.
After a while, my husband added his mother to our family group. It struck me as a touch odd at first but my mother-in-law babysits our 3-year-old frequently so, sure, it’s nice to know where she is and for her to see when I’m on my way to drop off or pick up.
The issue that brought me here and what I’m scratching my head over is that my husband then added his sister to the group while she was in town visiting. My SIL lives over 800 miles away, and while she’s a lovely person and I have no suspicion she would do anything nefarious with our family’s GPS information, I just don’t feel like it’s anyone else’s business where the family is at all times.
Perhaps having SIL in the group was a good idea while she was visiting, but generally speaking, I don’t need the extended family to know when I’m at the gynecologist, my therapist, or even something silly like when or where I feel like popping out for lunch.
I told my husband I didn’t want to be in a group larger than our immediate family.
He can start a separate group with his sister if he wants, but I only wanted to be included with him and our kids. He poked fun at me, but my personal preference is my personal preference so in the meantime I turned off the ability for the group to see my location.
My husband took the hint I was serious, so as we were chatting on the phone yesterday he removed his sister from our group.
She noticed and texted him immediately – my husband’s comment was ‘My sister’s panicking that she’s been removed from Life360. She must be staring right at the app because it took her less than 30 seconds to complain.’ Then he added ‘I’m sending her a text that you’re paranoid and panicking (his favorite response to someone disagreeing with him is to accuse that person of ‘panicking’) and don’t want her in the group.’ (For context, my husband’s last comment was probably a bit of kidding mixed in with a healthy dose of really not wanting to look like the bad guy.)
Knowing my SIL has some tough stuff going on in her life right now and would probably be sensitive to being ousted from our GPS circle, I picked up the phone and called her to say I had asked my husband to keep our family circle small and my ask had nothing to do with her personally.
I feel like my preferences were reasonable, but later my husband told me SIL was upset and this incident further drove home the fact that I ‘don’t like her.’ I actually do like my SIL but our personalities are different enough that we don’t always get where the other is coming from.
That being the case, am I overreacting and being the jerk by having preferences about who can see my constant whereabouts? Am I actually overly paranoid and causing unnecessary family drama?”
2. AITJ For Complaining To The Concierge About The Couple Nextdoor?
“I (38 F) am on vacation in Europe with my husband (41 M). We have been together for 14 and this is our first trip without our kids. Part of the reason we have taken this trip is to ‘rekindle the relationship’. This is a two-week trip and we are on day 9. For context, we had slept together once.
We were both wasted, and I think we both forced it a bit. We get on great as people, but our personal life has been an issue since we had children.
This has only gotten worse since last year my husband told me he ‘loves me but doesn’t find me attractive anymore’ which was upsetting and hurtful as in the past three years I have gained over 100 lbs.
We are staying in an amazing 5-star resort. The hotel rooms have their own small pool and terrace to sit out on. Since we arrived my husband has found issues with nearly everything, the hotel, the staff, the food, and the other guests.
Five days ago in the room nextdoor, a young British couple took the room.
For context, they are both very attractive, if I found out they were Instagram models or something I would not be shocked.
The issue is each room shares a wall with another room, and we share a room and a lower balcony where we can see their terrace with this couple. Since they arrived we have heard them being intimate more or less twice a day.
In addition, when they are sat on the terrace they are kissing and all over each other. In addition, the woman nextdoor is sunbathing without a top. I know we are in Europe and that’s the norm but I find it hard to get used to.
My husband quickly befriended them over the balcony, and truthfully I think lusting over the woman nextdoor.
Who I think was oblivious to this. I have also spoken to them both and they seem nice.
After being woken in the middle of the night two nights ago to the sound of them being freaky, and again that morning. I went and asked the concierge if they could ask them to keep it down.
Obviously having been told something, last night the man nextdoor angrily told my husband if he had an issue he should have said something directly. My husband did not know I had reported it, and we then argued all yesterday evening.
My husband called me ridiculous and a prude and that if I was ‘more carefree’ we wouldn’t have any issues.
I also brought up his obvious liking of the woman nextdoor and he angrily said ‘Why wouldn’t I, she is young, thin, and hot’ which was an obvious dig of what I am not. He then angrily walked around the hotel room before going to sleep in silence.
This morning I woke up to a text that he had gone to hike up a hill/mountain – this takes all day and we had decided earlier in the trip we wouldn’t do it.
Since he returned we have hardly spoken, and we were supposed to go out for dinner but he has suggested we just order room service.
AITJ for complaining about the couple nextdoor? Or is he the jerk for leaving me in the hotel all day on vacation?”
1. AITJ For My Birthday Wish?
“I’m a mother of 4 four children, they’re all adults and are married with kids.
My youngest is 27, she’s been staying with us after she lost her late fiancé in an auto accident. She’s isolated herself from everybody, don’t know for how long but as far as we know, she said she’s focusing on herself but we’re worried about her as she has started shutting down several opportunities for a relationship with a few decent guys including my friend’s son.
But my daughter kept saying she was fine and she was taking her time, it’s been 2 years now.
My birthday was on Saturday. My daughter and my other children arranged for everything while I was out (my husband’s deceased). They had a surprise birthday for me and I was asked to make a wish before blowing the candles.
I secretly made a wish and caught my daughter looking at me.
Later during dinner, my daughter brought up the wish and asked what it was. I didn’t want to tell but everyone pushed for me to do it so I told her I wished that she would find happiness with a man who would appreciate her and love her for who she was sooner than later.
She suddenly looked at me and her face got red, everyone else noticed. She then lashed out telling me to stop making her feel pathetic and like she was incomplete or lacking and to stop disrespecting the love of her life then stormed off. I was caught off guard by her reaction and just didn’t know how to react to it.
My oldest son said I did nothing wrong and his sister’s being extra emotional, but the others said I did step out of the line for what I did and should give my daughter the space she needs because, after all, she has been through a lot which I completely understand but still thought her reaction was extreme.
I tried talking to her later but she kept her room locked and refused to let me in. I decided to give her some time to calm down and regain her strength. This morning she went out for a run and didn’t wake me up as we usually do this activity together so by that I know this is a serious matter and she’s upset beyond measure.
I might have overstepped but I also think she overreacted over a simple wish I made out of love and concern for her.”
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