I’m the only one with a car so anytime we go anywhere I drive (which is fine) but she ALWAYS asks to make a stop, no matter how inconvenient because to her it’s ‘on the way’
She asked me to drive her 100 minutes roundtrip into the downtown core for a cosmetic appointment, I said no but to me, it says volumes that you asked at all
She asked me to drive for over 3 hours & use my car for her driving test in another city, but I couldn’t
I once told her I was going to the tech shop where my device was being fixed, and she asked if I could stop at a busy mall to get her a drink. I said no
She’ll ask me to ‘go with her’ places that don’t require accompaniment when really it is because she needs a ride
Never offers gas money (not that I always need it but it’s the principle)

Her mom & aunt then tried to claim the master bedroom. She wasn’t invited on subsequent cottage trips as a result (my mom’s decision). When she found out that we had gone without her she was upset. This was 10 years ago, this was one of the things she cited this summer when we fell out

She got upset with me for going on vacation with our friend even tho she swore off the hotel we went to & didn’t have the money to travel. We only went because our friend was starting a new job so no time off & my travel voucher was expiring.

I could go on but you get the gist. She says people aren’t there for her like she is for them but she’s never put in the position to sacrifice so that is easy to say. She is always the one asking for things.

Not to mention I feel like I get no time to myself because I can’t sleep well when I’m close to people in bed and I’m either at school Mon-Thurs or sharing my room with her Fri-Sun.

I just want a friendship where she doesn’t need anything from me, besides a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear & my company on girls’ nights.

I don’t mind favors occasionally but within reason.

So, am I the jerk?”

Another User Comments:

“NTJ but you need to say it and clearly. You can not come over EVERY weekend for 3 days. The truth is sometimes when a person is not at the same level or direction as you, you drift apart.

It’s not always the case particularly when that person is still working to improve themselves. It’s unclear what your friend is doing with her life but you really have to make sure you’re not enabling her.” SuperWomanUSA

Another User Comments:

“NTJ for the question asked. But do you really consider her your friend?

One of the things you list as HER PERSONAL flaws is something her mother and aunt did when she was 13. If a kid is upset when she’s excluded from friends’ activity because of something her trashy adults did, it doesn’t mean the kid ‘wants others to bend backward’ for her.

Most other things are nothing, also. Like, nothing wrong with asking ‘Will you grab X for me/drive me’, as long as she accepts your ‘No’ without further nagging. Basically, all she is is being human and looking for easy solutions for everything, and you dislike it.

You don’t seem to be friends and you seem incompatible in general. But you also are not in a position to give her temporary shelter from her trashy family. Having another adult regularly share a room AND bed with you without being absolutely forced to (like in a dorm) gets old fast. You WNBTJ if you refuse to do it, but all the ‘reasons’ you listed have nothing to do with it.” Ventsel

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