People Tell Their Comical Revenge Stories
52. There's No Time Limit On Revenge—Just Watch Your Back, Brother
“I have several older brothers who tormented me as a child. Looking back on it, however, the torment was fairly mild.
One of my older brothers started a family really young—he was 15-16 when his first was born. As retribution for the childhood torments, I decided to buy his firstborn a snare drum for his 10th birthday. I put the drum and drum stand along with several drum sticks inside a box and wrapped it all up in bright wrapping paper.
After the cake and ice cream, his child began to unwrap their gifts. Now, my brother’s kid was sort of hyperactive and was really intrigued by the large present that I had brought. I made them wait and open my gift last. When the top of that box finally came off and the drum came out to shrieks of glee, I got to look over and see the crushing weight of despair descend over my brother’s face as he realized the cacophony that was about to overtake his life.
As a form of revenge, it was everything that I had hoped for.”
51. If You're Going To Be A Lazy Group Member, Prepare To Get Suspended
“In high school, we had a group paper assigned, three to a group.
My friend and I scored the cherry treat of working together, but since we were pretty smart and focused, we got saddled with Tyler the Jerk. He was either late or never showed up. He was lazy, arrogant, entitled, misogynist—the works.
The paper had to be written by the whole group (i.e. one small paper written each and then merged into one big paper), so my friend and I got ours written well-ahead of schedule and we were stuck begging Tyler to do his.
Every response had the same careless jerkish response, ‘Nah, don’t feel like it.’
We tried explaining to our teacher that our R2 unit had a bad motivator but she didn’t care. So I hatched a plan. My friend loved it, so I got started.
I offered to write Tyler’s paper for him in exchange for twenty dollars. Of course, he agreed. Our papers had a minimum word limit so I wrote a long, rambling paper on his subject, and then in white font I wrote a long paragraph about how our teacher was a horrible person.
All sorts of horrible names and horrible rumors.
All in Tyler’s name.
I offered to email it in a folder with all of our papers labeled and named for everyone and Tyler agreed, so my friend and I sent the papers and waited.
Our teacher knew about the old white text trick so she highlighted each paper to test them.
And what did she see when she got to Tyler’s paper?
Tyler was suspended for several days for the horrible things ‘he’ wrote, and we were given glistening 100s on our work.
Not the best but it was worth it.”
50. Hearing Him Yell At Me After I Got My Revenge Made It All Worth It
“I was stuck in rush-hour traffic, and was also in an area that was notorious for terrible drivers. Anyway, I’m in the lane second from the left, as the far-left lane was ending soon. At the very last second, this large black truck cuts directly in front of me with no signal, no warning, and no regard for how much room there actually was to merge.
He came within two inches of my front bumper, then flipped me the bird through his back windshield.
My petty revenge? I merged into the next lane over and coasted beside him until he went for his exit. I pretended to be oblivious as he attempted to merge onto the exit ramp, causing him to miss his chance to exit.
The best part? The next exit would take 15 or more minutes to get to. It wasn’t even my exit, but hearing him yelling at me from inside his stupid over-compensation machine made it all worth it.
5/7, would do again.”
49. Rude, Grumpy Old Man Finally Gets A Taste Of His Own Medicine
“My mom recently started seeing this guy, Ron, that all of us (her kids) truly, truly dislike.
He’s a heavy drinker, completely set in his Midwestern ways (we live in California), always grumpy, and just generally unpleasant to be around. Well, he eventually moves into the house.
Well, one night he and my little brother (16) really got into it. Since my mom tends to jump to Ron’s defense whenever arguments arise, little brother dies a little inside and bolts to his room to release some tension.
But this particular night, he’s feeling rather vengeful. Let it be known that Ron is irrationally controlling over the television. Watching the TV is one of the few things he does in the day. So in his room, little brother decides to download a universal remote app to his phone, and torment the guy from upstairs.
The way the house is structured, you can aim a remote at the tv from the top of the stairs.
So every 10 minutes or so little brother turns off the tv, and every time, Ron, befuddled as all heck, turns it back on. Eventually, he starts losing his mind and becoming angry at the tv, even going so far as to call Dish to complain.
So little brother is feeling much better at this point. But he’s not finished.
Instead of turning the TV off, he begins to increase the volume to obnoxious levels. And each time it is met by Ron trying to counter the volume with both the remote and his voice.
This man has never been so engaged in his life. Eventually, he throws the remote down and hobbles away to the front porch to have a smoke, all the while cursing under his breath.”
48. If You Refuse To Do Any Of The Work As My Roommate, Good Luck Paying The Rent On Your Own
“Had a roommate years ago that was okay at first, but later turned into the biggest leech and slacker after almost two years of living together. Didn’t clean up, wouldn’t take out the trash or do dishes, ate all the food, and wouldn’t buy more groceries or pay half the bill when I bought more—the usual bull.
I endured the lease for another few months before I found out he was stealing from me—funds, personal items, and later I found out he was taking my backup DVDs and copying data to his PC. So I made a plan to get moved out.
I found a nice one-bedroom place closer to work, got in touch with family and friends to help, and waited until he went out of town with his family for a week to get moved.
Fun fact: All the furniture was mine, either bought by me or given as gifts by family.
Couches, coffee and end tables, dining room table and chairs, entertainment center—you name it, none of it was his. When I left, I took all of that. Plus, I emptied the fridge and pantry out, packed up all the dishes/silverware (also mine), emptied my bedroom except for my old mattress with box spring and old sheets, and packed up all the electronics that were mine (TV, Blu-ray, stereo, blender, griddle, etc).
Since he’d been stealing from me, used DBAN to do a full wipe on his desktop and laptop hard drives as the icing on the cake.
The cable was in my name only because he didn’t want to put his name on, so that got transferred to my new place.
Took my name off the utility bill and forwarded my mail, updated all the passwords on my online accounts, and got situated within 3-4 days. Changed my cell number, only gave it to people I wanted to have it, and moved on with my life.
I got second-hand info from friends that he ended up having to move back with his parents because he couldn’t afford the place on his own, and couldn’t find a roommate either. Nobody, including our friends, wanted to live with him.”
47. Blasting Karaoke All Night Next Door? Prepare To Answer The Door Fifty Times
“It was a weeknight and I had class early the next morning.
I was just getting settled into bed and almost falling asleep when my neighbors came home intoxicated, with friends, and started blasting karaoke music. It must have been 1 AM. I was mad. I angrily banged on the wall to get them to shut up when I heard them opening their front door.
That’s when I realized that the wall to my bedroom was right near their front door, so they thought someone was knocking. They didn’t stop the noise, so I got up, went right to the spot in my room where their front door was and banged on it.
I kept doing this periodically for the next half hour.
I heard one of the girls who must have lived there open the door each time and yell, ‘Who the heck keeps knocking?!’
They didn’t quiet down until 4 AM and I ended up moving to the living room to sleep, but I was amused at myself for making them think someone was at the door.”
46. Annoy Me One More Time, And I'll Make You Go Insane
“Once upon a time, I was in a digital art class at my school.
One particular student was the flat-out most annoying and obnoxious person I’ve ever encountered in my life. He was so disruptive and consistently annoying, so some mates and I decided to do some petty pranks on him.
The best one was when I brought in a Bluetooth mouse and plugged it into his computer. When he was creating anything at all in illustrator, I would either slightly move the mouse to one side or another or left/right click at random moments which absolutely infuriated him.
After two days of shenanigans, he became so enraged that he picked up his mouse and smashed it on the table, grabbed another mouse, and plugged it in. I continued to the point where he was so flustered that he screamed and ran out into the hallway.
That’s when I thought it best to stop.”
45. Mess With My Sister, And You'll Feel The Wrath Of My Revenge
“This one isn’t clever, it isn’t subtle, and it isn’t unique, but it makes me feel good every time I think about it.
In my last year of high school, my sister was in her first year of high school, and so we caught the bus home together.
We weren’t ‘close’ siblings and I generally thought of her as the biggest pain in the butt in the world.
There was a bully in her class, who, at the bus stop, was throwing things at her and laughing. He had a bunch of cronies who were egging him on, and laughing along.
I told him to knock it off. He didn’t.
I grabbed him by the front of his shirt, picked him up, and slammed him into the bus shelter. I’m super proud of the fact that I didn’t yell.
I just said calmly, ‘Do you think you’ll stop now?’
He stopped. His friends stopped. My sister and I now get on great!”
44. Sorry, Boys, Your Plan To Fool The Teacher Backfired Badly
“My mom had a fantastic revenge story.
She was a language teacher at my high school and years after I had graduated, she called me upset because a group of guys was trying to make her look dumb.
The class was supposed to write one of those team dialogues in Spanish, and had a week or so to prepare it, then had to perform it in front of the class.
When she called them to do theirs, they said, ‘But we already did ours, we’re not doing it again.’
She said, ‘You definitely didn’t do it, I don’t have any record of it here and I would remember it if you had.’
They refused to do it, insisting they already performed it and that it was her fault she didn’t take notes or scores down.
She was feeling puzzled and questioning herself, when one of the good kids came and said, ‘They didn’t do it—they were bragging about making you look stupid and threatened the whole class if they told you anything. But please don’t tell them I told you this, I don’t want any problems with them.’ (These were those stereotypical dumb jock types who everyone was scared of for whatever reason).
My mom was really into yoga at the time and got a great idea while meditating. She went in the next day and said, ‘Boys, I owe you an apology. I found my notes on your presentation and I do remember it, I don’t know how I forgot!’
She went on to describe all the grammatical mistakes they made, that their dialogue hadn’t been as long as required, that they didn’t include the necessary vocabulary, etc. All made up.
She failed them all on the project and they couldn’t do a thing about it without admitting they’d made it all up.”
43. Scare Me, That's Fine, But Scare My Pup? It's Game Over
“I was casually walking my pup in the same area I usually do. It’s a nice trail surrounding a wetlands reserve and there’s generally a lot of dog walkers and people riding bikes. The schools around here just let out for the day and there was a group of three boys riding their bikes coming from behind me.
I could hear their muffled talking and giggling and all of a sudden they were a few feet behind me and one of them yelled, ‘Hey! Catch!’ and threw some crumpled paper at me.
I couldn’t care less about the paper but the yelling scared my little pup so I was naturally angry, but being awkward, I didn’t say anything.
What am I going to do? Beat up some kids? I did have my pup’s steamy tater tots in a bag. As they rode off, I lightly tossed it.
By God, it lands in one of the kid’s hoodies, and he didn’t notice. They were too busy cackling away at how they ‘got ’em.’ I saw them riding ahead and it took maybe a hundred yards before he noticed there were some little round brown dumplings in his hood.
He screamed and threw the bag onto the ground while the other two died laughing. They looked back at me but I was so far behind them that they just road onward.
I also couldn’t help myself and laughed as I picked up the poo and threw it out a few minutes later.
You know, got to be a good citizen and all that.”
42. For Lazy Do-Nothings, The Best Thing To Do Is Let Karma Take Its Course
“I knew two people at university who were taking Maths. One was a Belgian student, the other one was English and got in on a scholarship, so he got a lot of money to study there, on the condition he didn’t have to retake any semesters.
In the first year, they were flatmates and the Belgian girl would often complain about having to more or less drag the lad to lectures. The second year, they were housemates with the lad’s drinking buddies and the lad spent all of his time drinking and going out.
Instead of attending lectures, he would just pester the girl to go over what he had missed with him.
Needless to say, they had a falling out. She stopped even trying to drag him to lectures and refused to help him. Near the end of the year, with the exams approaching, he was called in by the staff over his complete lack of attendance and reminded of the circumstances of his scholarship.
He panicked and begged the girl for help. She refused and he went berserk, forcing her to lock herself in her room.
I later got a phone call from her in a panic saying her notes had vanished, two days before the exams. Clearly, it was the lad who had done it.
Through a series of acquaintances, we were able to get him to leave the house and I stood watch whilst she went into his room and, lo and behold, there were the notes.
From the few fresh scribbles on the first few sheets, it was obvious that the lad had not realized that the girl had written all her notes in French before taking them and had tried to use google translate to decipher them.
Too bad she also had terrible handwriting.”
41. Won't Do Any Work? Say Goodbye To Your Volleyball Tournament
“In 9th grade, I was the nerd everyone treated like a doormat.
We had a geometry class, in which we had to work in pairs to design a pyramid, and of course, I got paired with an annoying dumb girl. She failed to contact me at all in the two weeks we had for the project.
The weekend before it was due, I calculated how a 0% would affect my grade. I would still get an A, but it would make her fall below the threshold to continue participating in varsity volleyball (I roughly knew her grades from gossip that she was under the threshold in one class already and couldn’t fall under in another or she’d miss a tournament).
That Monday, our professor called up our groups one by one to drop off their pyramid. When she called our names, the idiot girl looked at me and smiled. I’ll never forget her face when I just said, ‘We didn’t do it.’ The teacher looked up, nodded, and went back to her grade book.
The girl didn’t get to go to that tournament, and curiously enough everyone in groups with me suddenly became very eager to ask me what I wanted them to do for the project.”
40. Watch Out What You Do To My Brother, Because Revenge Is Best Served Ice Cold
“When I was a kid, my family went abroad for a holiday.
Two weeks in sunny Dominican Republic. Whilst there I met the jerkiest pair of lads you’re ever likely to meet. They were rude, loud, and just generally got on everyone’s nerves.
One day, whilst swimming I looked over to see them push my younger brother into the pool, catching him off guard.
He fell in and this upset him. Now, if we were in the UK and I saw this pair of morons do this, I would have strolled over and hit them with something heavy (they were older and bigger than me) and made off. Seeing as we were in a foreign country, and being unsure of their laws, I didn’t know if I’d get away with that if I got caught.
So I decided to exact my revenge in a different way. First, I befriended them. Then, sat in the bar, dying from the heat, and fighting the urge to jump over and hit one of them as hard as I possibly could, I offered them drinks.
They both agreed, and with that, I popped around the back to my room, opened my fridge, and grabbed the two bottles I had nice and icy cold ready for them.
When we first arrived there, we were warned to strictly, under no circumstances, drink the tap water.
Always drink bottled. Using this information I filled these bottles earlier from the toilet bowl. I ran back around to them and handed them the nice refreshing, borderline-ice bottles to them and sat back and tried not to rub my hands together deviously as they both downed the water.
All I had to do was wait.
The next day, my family and I were around by the pool. I was waiting to see if I would see them. I didn’t. Another day went by, and another. Not a sign of them or their families.
I had started to think they had gone home when I saw one of their parents by the pool. I idled over and said hello to their dad. I asked where the lads were, only to be told they were way too ill to be going outside.
Headaches, vomiting, diarrhea, and extreme dehydration were what the pair of jerks were experiencing.
They were going to miss out on a cave and cliff diving trip and a jet ski day they had planned and bought tickets for. The parents of the lads gave the tickets to my parents and we had a great time!
I’ll always remember this.
Revenge is best served ice cold.”
39. If You Think It's Funny To Give Me A Hard Time, I'll Show You Something Much Worse
“I used to sell cars and one Saturday—a very busy Saturday where people were buying left and right—I had just finished up with one customer and was looking for the next one. One of my co-workers walked up to me with an older couple and said he had an appointment who just showed up.
He asked if I could help his customers. They’re looking at whatever. Sure, I can help.
Well, I get to talking to these folks and they’re not buyers. They’re not even close. They were just there to waste time. A few minutes later, I see my co-worker pointing and laughing with a couple of managers at how he had just pawned off some tire kickers on me.
So I politely got the lookers to leave and started plotting.
I knew it was supposed to rain later that week, and I knew there was a truck on the very far end of the lot with a dead battery. The lot was very long and thin, about 100 yards deep and 400 yards wide.
The showroom was not quite in the middle, and it was about 300 yards from there to the far end of the lot where the truck was located. This truck was a honey pot. It was a heavy-duty truck that was just completely loaded. Huge markup.
I have a friend who used to be in the auto industry. She had worked in sales and finance for 20 years. She knows her stuff. More importantly, she knows all the sweet nothings to say to a salesman to get his juices flowing. I got her to call him and start talking about how she needs a high-dollar truck for her business because she needs a tax write-off.
Something like a truck she saw on our website. Cash in hand, ready to buy. Then she asked for an appointment on that rainy Wednesday, which also happened to be his day off.
Wednesday comes around and it’s disgusting. It’s just pouring. The dealership had a covered golf cart for driving around the lot with customers in the rain, but its batteries had died a few weeks prior.
My coworker showed up on his day off, all excited for this big fish sale. The deal my friend had discussed with him was just too good to be true, so he was ecstatic to be there. This was the kind of deal that would make his month and then some.
He went and got the key, trudged through the rain, all the way to the far end of the overflow lot, and tried to start the truck to pull it around. Nope, battery was flat. So he had to walk all the way back to the showroom in the pouring rain, get a jump box, and walk back out to the truck and jump-start it.
At this point, he’s soaked. His pants are all wet from walking back and forth in puddles. He had gotten all wet while he was trying to jump-start the truck because it’s impossible to jump-start a huge truck while holding an umbrella. Finally, he pulled the truck upfront.
The appointment was set for 1 pm. That time came and went, so he called my friend at about 1:30. My friend says sorry, I’m running late, I’ll be there at about 3 or so. 3 o’clock comes and goes, and no buyer has shown up. He calls her again and, of course, nothing.
She completely ghosted him. So he had to take the truck back to its spot, with rain still coming down. He was so mad, yet he never knew it was me the whole time. Still has no idea to this day.”
38. Don't Mess With The Cable Guy When You're Stealing Cable—It'll Backfire On You
“I used to be a service tech for a major ISP.
Back in the analog days, if you only paid for internet service, we were supposed to put a trap on the line that blocked the analog TV channels without affecting the internet frequencies.
I get a call from a customer having trouble with her Internet in an apartment building.
I get there and immediately find the two issues causing her problem. First, the drop cable to her apartment was damaged, and it was run in a way that we had to book that work out to a contractor. The second issue was that her modem was at the end of a loop through run.
She had three splitters set up to feed her TVs, and then it hit the modem.
I tell her that since she doesn’t pay for TV service, I needed to disconnect the splits (never mentioned removing them, I just needed the levels at the modem to look within spec).
I couldn’t justify spending a bunch of time running a dedicated line in a home that wasn’t supposed to have any splits, but the bad drop was the worst issue, so I was hoping to just crap my way through this job so I could get to the next one.
The modems were polled when we closed jobs, and the ones that failed were counted against us. Before I can start explaining all this, she just blows up on me. Starts cursing me, calling me a worthless moron, telling me she had free cable because that’s what the rep told her 20 years ago (probably not knowing I could see her entire account).
After about 10 minutes of abuse, I tell her fine, I’m booking the drop and asked her to sign.
I walked outside to my truck, grabbed a trap, and hooked it up to her drop. I called in and had it documented. I asked my dispatcher to include, ‘Don’t remove trap’ in the drop order.
A couple of weeks later, I swung back by to make sure and ended up installing another trap on the new line.
Don’t mess with the cable guy when you’re stealing cable. Most of us have better things to worry about.”
37. Don't Steal My Sweets Unless You Want A Mouthful Of Soap
“When I was a kid, it was a known fact in my house that if you left any sweets in the refrigerator, our dad would eat it.
Sometimes we couldn’t finish a dessert or a Little Debbie snack and would put the leftover in the fridge for later. Usually by the time later came, it was gone.
One day, I had one of those 2-packs of Ding Dong chocolate cupcakes. I ate one and couldn’t eat the other and was pretty fed up with him taking my treats, so I decided to teach him a lesson.
I gently cut a deep circle out of the bottom of the cupcake making a hole. I poured liquid dish soap inside and put the piece I cut out back on. It fit back in perfectly like a plug. I put it back in the refrigerator and waited.
It didn’t take long. That evening, I could hear him rummaging around in the kitchen. I knew he would take the bait. A couple of minutes later, I heard him gagging and spitting and yelling, ‘Oh my God!’
He stuck his whole head under the sink to wash his mouth out.
I got in trouble but he never ate our sweets again.”
36. Want To Throw Eggs At My Front Door? I'll Steal Your TV Remote
“One night, I was watching some television when I heard a bang on my front door. When I went to check it out, I saw egg yolk dripping down the window. Since I live in a flat, I found it odd that someone would throw eggs at my door, so I quickly looked out and saw some guys leaving the access gallery of my floor.
Figuring they lived in my flat, I quickly exited the floor on the other side and hid in the parking lot to see where they would emerge and where they lived. They turned up on the top floor where they proceeded to throw some eggs at the houses across the street.
When they moved again, they came back to my floor and entered the apartment right next to mine—they were my next-door neighbors!
I went back inside fuming with anger and tried to think of a way to make them pay. Before I went back into my apartment, I sneaked past theirs to see what they were up to.
They were all sitting in the kitchen drinking and having a laugh. So I went through my apartment to the balcony at the back and slipped onto their balcony. The door was open, so I could just walk into their apartment. I had a quick look around and stole their TV remote.
Petty? Yes. But it made me feel a lot better.”
35. Sorry, But Girls Don't Have Prostates
“My ex used to make up the dumbest, weirdest sob stories and everyone but me believed them. I used to tell her she needed to get help but of course, she refused.
On one particular day, she decided to call me up, crying wolf with salty crocodile tears, fearfully exclaiming, ‘I have prostate cancer! I don’t know how long I will live.’
She sent me a few pictures of herself hooked up to an IV drip, dressed in a hospital gown, and looking quite sickly.
As a young guy, I initially believed her and even planned to visit her in the hospital (we were long-distance and she was a few hours away). That was until I did a quick Google search after our phone call. Girls don’t have prostates.
I didn’t tell her I knew she was lying this time around.
Instead, I went to the nearest cancer treatment center and asked for a pamphlet and packets on prostate cancer. As I walked back home, papers in hand and mischief in mind, I began to process my petty revenge.
Upon walking in the door, I grabbed an unmarked envelope from our mail holder and wrote her mother’s name and address on the front, named and dated using my ex’s name.
(Her mother lived in another state and didn’t have much contact, if any at all, with my ex). I packed the envelope with the pamphlet and papers and slipped it into the nearest mailbox shortly after.
A few days later, as business with my significant other is going normally, I get a call.
Of course, it’s my ex—who else would it be? This time, she’s bawling, and the tears are just as salty as the first call, but for once, they’re real. Apparently, her mother called her screaming hysterically, cussing her out, and threatening her with blackmail and other malicious things.
My ex explained to me that her mother’s new man (whom she had never met let alone even heard of) had recently discovered that he had prostate cancer. None of us had any idea and the outcome was totally unexpected.
I got more than petty revenge; I essentially destroyed my ex’s relationship with her estranged mother.”
34. If You're Going To Get Revenge On Someone, At Least Make It Funny
“My friend moved in with me and a few of my housemates for our final year of university.
The original housemates and I fell out. My friend had just gotten a stockpile of cool electronics from his uncle and one of them was a plug that could be turned on and off remotely, so we put it on the TV.
We both downloaded the app for the plug, and if either of us were annoyed by them then we’d turn the TV off at inopportune times—like the climax of a film or the results of a talent show. After a while, they’d be asking to come into my room to use my TV because the one in the main room was obviously broken, but I’d be going out to my friends and therefore would be locking my room.
My housemates and I have since made up. I think it was just because living together with others is hard and our personalities were quite conflicting—but I’ll never tell them about the TV.”
33. Try To Copy Off My Test? I'll Circle All The Wrong Answers And Watch You Fail
“This happened last semester. I am in high school. We, as a class, used to study for the SAT and our math teacher made us take practice tests frequently.
One day, he told us we were going to take a practice test in the next lesson. Practically no one was prepared for it but it’s a practice test, so I thought, ‘Whatever.’
Our teacher always randomizes our seats and places desks sort of like the black blocks in chess (I’m not sure what it’s called in English).
There is this one classmate of mine, who is selfish, arrogant and when it comes to tests in school… he will always copy. I mean it. I copy in every exam I didn’t study for and will let my buddies copy off me. But dude, come on, it is a practice test. You wouldn’t copy in a test that you only take to see your performance.
The timer starts as we begin solving the questions. I am nervous because I haven’t been studying for the SAT for a long time. Just as I am around a quarter of the way finished, I realize this guy is copying every answer from me.
Literally, every single option I circle, this guy circles the same one—right after me, too. I write some equations, he writes, too.
It’s hard to tell because he is behind me, so I decide to draw a shape. I am familiar with this shape, it helps me remember a formula.
I draw the shape instantly and turn back just to find him trying to draw the shape all whilst also trying to look like he was doing it by himself. At this point, he understands that I am aware of the fact that he is copying off of me.
The guy just embraces it and keeps doing it.
At this point, I forget about the test and instead come up with a plan to mess him up so hard, so that he would understand that copying in a practice test is not smart. You know the good ol’ ‘eliminate the answer’ choices that make finding the answer an easier method?
Yeah, from that point on, I would literally put an ‘X’ next to the real answer and always circle the answer choice under it.
I do this for the rest of the test, which would be about 75-80% of the test. This guy copies each and every single answer from me not knowing they are the wrong ones.
He is so stupid to even try to solve the slightest question to realize that I am faking the whole thing.
Towards the end of the test, the teacher announces we have only five minutes left. I am not yet done (I have a few questions to go) but decide to finish up and return to the very first question that I started faking answers on and erase each and every single answer after it.
As I erase the answers and circle the ones I put an ‘X’ next to, the guy behind literally calls my name and asks what I am doing.
‘Oh,’ I said, ‘It turns out I did these ones wrong.’
I have never seen him that shocked, knowing how he messed up.
I am trying so hard not to burst out laughing but instead giggle slightly.
That day, I probably took the pettiest revenge of my life.”
32. Landlord, I Don't Think You Know Who You're Messing With
“I rented a studio flat while doing an internship abroad, and when I left, the landlord never gave me my deposit back.
It was a three-month deposit on a six-month lease, so over 2500$. Later in the year, something happened to me, and because I was missing this 2.5k$, I had to borrow funds and was in the red for a while.
The landlord knew I was going to leave the country and after crapping on me for over two years, he stopped answering me.
It was a really awful thing for him to do. I really needed the money at that time. He had plenty of apartments, so money was not even an issue for him.
Now for the revenge.
Fortunately, I remained friends with former colleagues, and as it so happened in a small town, they know who he is.
My friends have been removing the air of all his tires at night, a few times a month, for nearly four years now. It has really become a habit at this point. Recently, one younger brother and his friends joined in the game. He changed cars, but it didn’t change anything for him.
He apparently now has a small compressor in his car and it takes him a while to blow air in again (which, to be fair, blowing the air out is not a quick maneuver either).
Once, one of my friends left a note saying it was from me, but I live in another continent now.
He used to tell me I couldn’t sue him because I was in another country. Who is laughing now? He tried to get the police involved, but they didn’t give a crap. He reached me by email about giving me the funds back and that he was sorry, but that would be too easy.
I don’t need the money anymore, and I would not admit my responsibility in writing anyway, in case I need to go back to the country one day. He had plenty of time to pay me back when he knew I was in debt because he had my funds.
It’s too late now.
How does it end?
It’s either going to stop when all of my friends move, which they probably won’t, or when he dies.”
31. You Want To Do Nothing In This Group Project? That's Your Loss, Not Mine
“During my master’s at university, there was a group project involving research into data mining.
There were four members of this group: myself, another girl and two guys. One of the guys was absolutely fine, knew what he was doing and what he had to do, and took on his share of the workload just fine.
The girl wasn’t the hottest programmer, but was capable of research and report writing and editing.
The other guy, however, was a pain. Apparently, he was used to just getting everything he wanted, when he wanted. He appeared to have next to no technical knowledge, and as far as anyone could tell had no place in the course.
But he was in our group, so we pressed onward.
Programming is about the only thing I was ever good at, but I was (and remain) seriously good at it, so whenever a technical project came my way, I tended to be the one doing the lion’s share of the work – but this was okay!
I’d rather the entire group get a good grade than submit substandard work. My only requirement for this is that the group members that didn’t do any programming work contributed in some other fashion—they prepare the presentation, write the group report, or at the very least do some research that another person can use.
This guy? Did nothing. We accepted that he couldn’t really program, and his English skills were sub-par, so he wasn’t the ideal candidate for report writing. But we asked him to do some things just in case, one by one when it became obvious he couldn’t and wouldn’t do the following:
One: Code the data mining algorithm in MatLAB as a proof of concept (he didn’t try).
Two: Write the preliminary report for us to review and add or edit (he didn’t write even a sentence).
Three: Prepare a PowerPoint presentation for the mandatory lecture we had to give on the project (he didn’t prepare any slides, but more on this later).
Four: Do some research on the data mining methods to verbally feed back to us so we could write something up about them (he didn’t).
Submission day comes around, and this fellow has done essentially no work. We send the work off, and head over to the lecture hall to give the required lecture.
As a group, we had agreed on which of us would give each section of the talk. The other girl would cover the overall theory, I would cover the technical implementation, the competent guy would do the results, and the do-nothing had agreed to give the introduction.
The lecture starts, and this guy introduces the project. But it rapidly becomes clear he has no idea what he’s talking about. Fine, fine, we’ll recover.
Except he doesn’t stop.
This guy, apparently being aware that groups have the technical ability to choose how the marks are divided among the members, has apparently decided that if he covers the entire lecture, it’ll make up for his lack of input for the duration of the project.
Except he hadn’t told us this was his plan, and because he hadn’t done any prior reading, he was attempting to wing it. And it showed.
We attempted to take over from him three times, but each time he dismissed our attempts to take the stage and just kept pressing on.
He was telling a lecture hall of 40 people complete and utter nonsense in-between just reading off the slides we’d prepared.
Eventually, the professor stops him from talking, and forces him to hand over to one of us, at which point we manage to rush through the actual lecture content and get our message across.
But given this was peer-assessed work, the damage had largely been done.
Now for the revenge.
Remember how groups ultimately get to decide how the grade is divided among the members? The system worked by grading each group member from 1 to 10, with the default being 5.
If you gave a member greater than 5, they received a higher proportion of the marks, but to balance it out, an equal number of marks had to be removed from the other members. This had to be a unanimous agreement between all group members, so it was rare for a group to do anything but an equal split among all members.
We submitted our recommendations to give the moron 1/10, reassigning the remaining marks among the rest of us. Obviously, this wasn’t unanimous, with him opting for the standard equal split. This resulted in the entire group having to attend an academic panel with several professors to explain the discrepancy, and the offended party being super angry.
He opened the panel with a long tirade about how we hadn’t asked him to do any work, and that we’d shut him out of the project to make him look bad. Went on and on for a good 10 minutes, before I eventually interrupted him, handing him paper copies of the emails we’d sent to him, and asking him if he’d ever done the basic research we asked him to do.
He started to repeat his previous ‘points’ and saying we hadn’t directly asked him to do it, that we’d deliberately removed his ability to pass.
I interrupted again, asking him to reply ‘Yes or No.’ He got another 5 words in (none of which were yes or no) before one of the professors on the panel stopped him, thanked us for our time, and told us they’d be in touch.
Outside the room, the guy confronted me (just me apparently), and told me very loudly I had betrayed his trust, and this wasn’t how the real world worked. I honestly laughed at him and walked away.
He failed the module, and we didn’t see him again for the rest of the year.
Take that. I hope you learned your lesson.”
30. What You Do To Me, I'll Do Back To You Ten Times Worse—And Get A Laugh Out Of It
“This is back in the day of the chat program, ICQ, in the late 90s. I was in a military college dorm with about 400 others and we used ICQ for everything.
Now, it was usual to prank our classmates when they left their computer unlocked by sending a funny message to everyone in the class and this happened to me a lot.
I’d come back to my room after someone pretending to be me professed my deep, deep love to my mom or whatever.
My petty revenge came when I found my neighbor’s computer unlocked, I jumped on and sent a single message to all 400 people, ‘Hey mate, can you come over for a second?’
Basically, 400 people went ‘sure’ and started turning up. When my neighbor came back, there was a massive queue of people outside his door asking, ‘what’s up?’
I still laugh at this!”
29. Going To Complain About The Shades Not Being Up? I'll Pull All Of Them Down For You
“When I was 18, I went to France with a school group. On our way home, we had a leg of the flight that stopped in NY and had a layover of about half an hour, but my group was staying on the same flight to continue on to our destination.
When we were about to start landing in NY, the flight attendant came over and told me to open my window shade. I was so tired and had been sleeping so I really didn’t want the bright sun in my face so I just cracked it a bit.
She came back over and told me again. I asked why and she got all snotty saying something about we passengers being able to alert the crew if something bad was going on or some crap like that.
I noticed that several other passengers didn’t have their shades up and this attendant was being really rude.
Anyway, we get to NY and some of the passengers deplane along with the crew, and my friends and I just decide to hang out for 30 minutes until it was time to get going again. The flight attendant was still just being super mean and rude and we were just over her attitude.
As soon as she got off the plane, we went up and down the plane shutting as many window shades as we could before anyone could come back and catch us. Then we hopped back in our seats, opened our shades nice and big. Her face, when everyone started getting back on the plane, was hilarious.
She had to go up and down the aisles and ask a bunch of people to open their shades for takeoff and then explain why to like 20 other people. She was so annoyed.
This was 1997, so we weren’t as worried about getting arrested or kicked off the flight for being stupid, sassy kids.
Pull that today and you get tasered!”
28. Someone Kept Stealing My Gatorade, So I Replaced It With Blue Dish Soap
“I was in high school.
From the time I was in middle school, I was in marching band. Played the French horn once I started high school band. Four days a week, we would have practice after school, and being in the southern part of America, it was normal for it to be hot and humid.
Practice usually lasted from the time the class started at two until after school at 5:30. In the past, there had been days at practice where people had passed out due to the extreme humidity and heat index, so we were told to bring water or Gatorade in order to stay hydrated.
My freshman year, I packed a blue Gatorade in my bag every day in the side pocket. I did this for about two weeks before I started noticing it wasn’t there by the time we started practice. I thought maybe that it fell out of my bag at home (I would place them there the night before) or I misplaced it somewhere in the school building.
It happened maybe two or three times over the course of the next two weeks, so I didn’t think anything about it.
Suddenly, they started disappearing more frequently, so I started to keep my eye out for when they disappeared. I found out it was likely getting lifted while I was outside at PE, and my bag was at the fence close to the school.
Because of the foot traffic there, I had no way of knowing who it might be, so with an idea given to me by my mother, I constructed a plan to stop the theft.
One night before school, I picked a blue Gatorade out to put in my bag, and instead of placing it there for the next day, I drank it that night.
After it was empty, I filled it with some blue Dawn dish soap, and then slowly added water to it in order for it not to foam. I did my best to match the color of the soap and water to the actual Gatorade. After it was as close as I could get it, I placed it in my bag and went to sleep.
The following day, just like clockwork, my Gatorade gets lifted at PE. Throughout that afternoon I kept my eye out for anyone drinking a blue Gatorade, but sadly did not witness anything. The next morning I had a friend mention someone puked blue Gatorade all over the ground in one of the third-floor classrooms that day.
He told me the guy took a blue Gatorade out of his pack and took a huge chug while the teacher was teaching, and then proceeded to projectile spew it across the floor. The student then ran into the hall down to the water fountain.
Best moment of my freshman year in high school.”
27. You Want To Fire Me? Too Late, I'll Spill Your Biggest Secret
“I was working call support for a Major Software Company’s Volume Licensing team when our jobs got outsourced around 2012. That sucked, but a definite benefit was the chance to take a month-long trip to the Philippines and help the crew over there go live.
I get sent over with three other folks from my location and one from our Mexico center, not counting the Bosses who go over there every few months to make sure the accounts are being handled. Two of those specifically are important to the tale, A and K.
A is a nice-enough blonde who seems to have secured her position post-outsource by clamping down on K’s behind—in other words, they were having an affair. The entire office is passively aware, but nobody really cares as she takes care of our team, going so far as to stall my pre-employment test to allow my system to clear.
Almost makes me regret the last bit but not quite, especially after learning later that she put no effort into defending our team with corporate.
The first week is fine, except for a few instances during the nightly meetings where K is extremely irritable. I start asking about the title they are using to describe us to the new hires, since if it is an actual title I want to put it on my resume, but if not I want to avoid having someone call and ask about a position I didn’t officially have.
They casually ignore and dodge the question while adding more and more responsibilities after we’ve started, so I politely continue to inquire at every opportunity, since unlike them I would be job hunting in a month.
Apparently, K was overworked, or whatever his lame excuse was since there was a meeting I was not present for where he began yelling and screaming at my coworkers.
I already didn’t care for him, but before that, it was a casual indifference. Now it was a full-blown loathing for someone who couldn’t control their own emotional state enough to respect his employees.
Near the end of week two, after A and K have gone back to the States, I get called into a conference call with A and K, alone.
They proceed to tell me that they are sending me home early because they do not think my mind is focused on the job at hand, citing my questions about the titling as evidence. They say they want to fly me back and fly out a replacement, to which I respond with a simple, ‘No.’
That stops them long enough to explain that one: I was trying to calmly obtain information they pointedly refused to provide, somehow thinking verbal abuse was a better route, two: That not only was my mind on the job, but that my team was leading the stats and that it would be even more expensive to ship someone out for two weeks than to let me stay, and three: that I was aware of their affair and would make their immediate circle aware of it if they did not change their mind and come to a decision that I found acceptable by the end of my shift, at which point I hung up and went back to work.
Half an hour before the end of my shift, I get another conference call request.
‘We’re letting you stay, but I want you to know that this isn’t because you’re getting your way, it’s because it would be cheaper to keep you out there.’
Sure, and your shared suites are just for ‘Expenses.’ Whatever lets you sleep next to your husband at night.”
26. If You're Going To Rush Me, Get Ready To Wait A Long, Long Time
“My wife, a few friends, and I were driving to LA from San Diego for a concert.
We stopped on our way out of town to get gas in an uncrowded gas station with a few open lanes.
Some moron in an SUV comes squealing into the parking area and zipping around the occupied pumps to try and hang a U-Turn right into my spot, only to break abruptly when seeing that the area is also occupied by my car that is in the middle of getting pumped full of gas.
His SUV is full with his wife, an older guy, and three teenage children. They all stare at me angrily giving me the Hurry Up look and practically egging me on without actually saying anything. Instead of pulling away and going to one of the vacant areas because his SUV is too big to not awkwardly back up and around he just sits there as other cars fill up the pumps.
My pump almost finishes and he honks at me throwing his arms in the air as if to say, ‘Aren’t you done yet?’
So after casually placing the pump back in its container, I walk over to free service window wipers with water that most gas stations have and take my time meticulously cleaning all six of my windows until they are clear as summer rain and the guy couldn’t move because he’d waited too long for the pumps which were now all occupied. He sat there and raged, but didn’t get out or say anything.
I felt pretty smug afterward, even if it was petty.”
25. If You Try To Copy Off Of Me, I'll Just Circle All The Wrong Answers
“In grade school, this one girl kept obviously copying off of my work during a test. Eventually, I got tired of having to struggle to hide my answers from her while still trying to focus on the test, so I started circling wrong answers.
I watched in my peripheral vision, with expressionless glee, as she blatantly copied down each wrong answer the second I marked it down. Then when I had finished circling my last answer, this chick had the nerve to ask me to turn in her paper for her, seeing as we both miraculously finished it at the same time and she didn’t feel like walking to the turn-in bin if I was already on my way there.
So I obliged, took both our papers back to the bin, turned hers in, and then corrected all my answers when her back was turned, before sliding my own paper into the bin.
The best part, looking back, was the fact that she’d never see my paper when it was handed back, so she wouldn’t ever know what hit her, with the plus that she’d just assume that I wasn’t as smart as I looked, and therefore wouldn’t copy off of me in the future.”
24. Steal My Work? You'll Be Hearing From An Attorney In The Morning
“For a while, I worked as a web designer in a small ad agency serving a very niche industry.
Previously, the design team had no creative lead and were all sort of operating independently across varying clients.
We decided to hire a creative director to fill that gap, and I was given the task of sorting through and giving first-round interviews to find the person who would later become my supervisor.
Two candidates, in particular, stood out from the rest for very different reasons.
One was exceptionally talented, an all-around nice guy, and somebody who generally would have been great for the role. The other—let’s call him John—had mediocre talent, came across as insufferable and arrogant, but had previous experience working within the niche industry that we serviced. He also had contacts within that industry that could lead to new business.
Despite my strong recommendation to not hire John, his relationships in the industry were too compelling for our agency’s leadership to pass up, and they hired him.
It didn’t take long before the entire company started to realize John was a huge burden. He had basically zero experience in anything related to digital design.
Design for apps, websites, mobile, etc, were all completely and utterly beyond his grasp. But he used his position of relative power to make decisions on those projects that the entire design team refused to support, most of which came back to bite the company in the behind later.
The design team hated him because fixing and working around his screw-ups became part of our daily routine. The sales team hated him because he’d claim it took him unbelievably exaggerated amounts of time to complete even the most trivial of tasks (for example, four days to design a business card template).
So, they wouldn’t even assign him projects anymore.
Work that was clearly his responsibility started to rapidly trickle down to the rest of the design team. We’d be working late nights four out of five days a week because all of his projects that were in danger of missing deadlines would be re-assigned to us.
Meanwhile, he’d be the first to walk out the door every day, right at 5 PM, without fail. On top of all that, the guy was absolutely, without a doubt, the biggest tool I’ve ever met. Always right about everything, completely unbending on his idiotic opinions, and completely clueless that literally every person in the building wished he would get hit by a truck.
I genuinely tried to work with him for about a year, until I decided that the job had become intolerable because of him, and wasn’t going to change any time soon, so I turned in my two-week notice. About a month after I left, I heard that he had been let go from the job.
Shortly after that, I noticed that he had changed his LinkedIn status to show that he was working for a new agency I had never heard of, also servicing that same niche industry. I looked them up and quickly figured out that he had started his own agency—a primarily digital agency, when he had no experience in digital or interactive design, and had literally messed up every digital or interactive project he’d ever been on (I know, because most of them were reassigned to me when he proved incapable of doing them himself).
I looked at the portfolio on his website and found literally project after project of my work. He was using my work from the ad agency as examples of the work his agency could produce.
I briefly considered contacting him and requesting he remove my work from his portfolio for ethical reasons.
But I could already hear his reply in my head. ‘As creative lead, all work done by my team is an extension of my creative direction.’ He’d used similar lines in the past to insert himself into receiving credit on successful projects he’d had zero involvement on.
So instead I sent an email to one of the partners of the agency we both had worked for, saying something along the lines of, ‘Hey, not sure if you’ve noticed this, but it looks like John is using your company’s intellectual property to directly compete against you.
If I had to guess, I’d assume his next step would be to make a move at your client list.’
The reply was short and sweet, ‘Thanks for bringing this to my attention. He’ll be hearing from our attorney in the morning.’
John’s website was brought down less than 24 hours later.”
23. Steal My Sandwich Again And You'll Be Greeted By A Spicy Surprise
“This happened a while back—study hall in 8th grade, actually. I always brought two small sandwiches to school so I could have one at lunch and one in study hall since our teacher let us eat in that class.
One day as I was about to eat my sandwich, I get up to use the bathroom.
As I walk back into the classroom, I see the kid in front of me eating my sandwich. I was pretty annoyed but nothing serious at this point, so I confront him politely and he denies it completely. I left my sandwich on my desk the next day just to make sure it was him, and what do you know, it is.
On the third day, I hatched a plan. I put habanero cheese in my sandwich, and then doused it all in ghost pepper sauce. That stuff was everywhere, but it luckily didn’t smell spicy. I get to study hall and my plan works flawlessly. I leave my trap sandwich on my desk and get up to use the restroom.
This time I take as long as I can, and end up wandering the halls of the school. I did this because my study hall teacher was strict about the hall pass, and only one person was allowed to leave the class at a time, even for water.
After about ten minutes, I come back into the class to be greeted by the sandwich thief crying hysterically with a bright red face waiting for the hall pass. He was in the bathroom for the rest of the day.”
22. The Next Time You Steal My Dressing, You'll Be In For A Nice Surprise
“In seventh grade, I used to take homemade lunch to school. We prepared our own salad dressing (lemon juice, salt, oil), and one kid decided it would be good to steal it and drink it before lunchtime. I asked him not to, but he continued to drink it, but started doing so in one gulp so I couldn’t stop him.
So instead of making a huge deal, I prepared two salad dressings. One that I would actually use on my salad, and another that had all the liquid condiments I could find in my mom’s kitchen. It was really fun to see his face as he drank it.
He never stole my salad dressing again.”
21. If You Refuse To Do Any Work, The Joke's On You When The Presentation Comes
“This happened to my significant other when he was at university. His class was doing presentations in pairs, and he got paired with some girl who didn’t bother to bring notes or research information for their presentation.
She instead let him do all the work, and any slides she did were made from his notes and research.
He complained to his tutor and she told him, ‘Don’t worry, leave it to me.’
And then the day of the presentation comes.
They present, and then at the end, the tutor asks the girl a question.
If I remember correctly, the question was something like, ‘Is there any evidence to suggest that some cultures are more prone to mental health problems?’
And the girl answered no. The tutor then asked my significant other the exact same question, and because he’d actually read the research on the topic, he was able to list several studies that showed that some cultures are in fact more prone to mental health issues.
The girl glared at him the entire time he answered the tutor’s question. Pretty sure she ended up with a D, while he got an A or B.”
20. You Want To Stay In The Hospital Another Night For No Reason? Sure, But You Won't Be Happy
“As a nurse, we had this awful patient, who made all our lives miserable. Needed pain meds on the dot, needed to smoke every half hour, sat on the call light all day.
This person was possibly the rudest human being I’ve ever met. Basically treated us like slaves.
It finally came time for discharge, and this patient decided to come up with a whole bunch of new medical problems. ‘I have chest pain! I have nausea! One side of my body feels numb!’
So, being the very skilled and rational nurse I am, I asked the doctor for a whole new set of orders. First, I asked for lab draws every three hours (meaning needles every three hours) to check cardiac markers. Then, I asked that the patient be placed on NPO status (nothing by mouth) for the nausea.
This person couldn’t go an hour without eating something. For the numbness, I requested the patient be placed on strict bedrest for 24 hours, and then have a physical therapy evaluation ordered (which meant no more going downstairs to smoke).
I explained this all to the patient, and he says ‘Shoot!
I Just wanted to stay another night. I ain’t doing any of that! I feel fine, just give me my papers!’
Talked it over with the doctor on call, he gave me the all clear to discharge, and I had him out the door in an hour.”
19. Keep Eating My Cookies, And I'll Give You Dog Treats Instead
“I used to buy small treat bags of gourmet cookies from a local bakery a few years ago. I would eat maybe one a day, but they were a treat for me. Back then, my husband and I had a retail store and a few friends that would hang out at the store (it was kind of a lounge too).
Well, my husband and our friends (most were guys) would just help themselves. But they had no self-control, nor would they even ask for some. I would buy the bag of cookies for me, and they’d be gone. I would try to hide them but couldn’t.
So I bagged up a bunch of dog treats that the local pet food store had that looked very close to cookies for people. And were all about the same size as the ones I bought from the bakery.
I placed them where all the guys could see them, and waited.
Yep, they tried them. They asked if they were a bad batch or maybe the bakery missed an ingredient or two in the dough. I waited until they tried to eat more than three each, then told them they were dog treats.
They never touched my cookies again.”
18. Yeah, I Won't Come To Your Kid's Birthday Party, But I'll Send Them The Messiest Gifts Ever
“A relative kept inviting me to her kid’s birthday parties. We aren’t close, and multiple people informed me she brags about inviting me knowing I won’t go, and will just send a gift (who wants to go to a three-year-old’s birthday party with 30 loud kids during flu season?)
I started buying elaborate, loud, and expensive gifts with batteries already in them and things like Sensory sand. Anything with more than 100 pieces, drums, keyboards, 20$ gift cards to build a bear (can’t leave there without dropping $50).
Her kids are five and seven now and have a great memory for the amazing gifts I get them.
I send gifts even though I don’t get an invite anymore. This year it’s an art kit. Glitter glue, hundreds of stickers, a stamping pad, so much paint, tiny beads, clay, and loose glitter.”
17. Refusing To Pay Me Will Get You Just What You Asked For
“Back in college, I used to write papers on the side.
I charged $50 a pop. I wrote the paper, they paid me and then I gave it to them. This one chick needed me to write a quick research essay due in a week. No problem.
She gave me the paper she had started, so I could match writing styles.
And we went our separate ways. Over the week, she kept asking for the price to be dropped. She was a friend and I’m a nice person. No problem. $30. Then $20. Fine. Easy 3-page paper. It’s cool.
She tells a buddy of ours that she wasn’t going to pay me at all but was going to fake a ‘running late, I’ll pay you after class’ deal so I’d give her the paper.
Now I’m not one to believe a rumor, but this is a source of income for me. So I wrote a second paper just in case.
Sure enough, next morning, two minutes before class, she comes running into class and is all ‘I’ll pay you after.’ So I handed her the second paper.
The first page and the work cited page was 100%. Second and third page? Sheer gibberish of paragraphs clearly lifted out of random Internet sites that I so helpfully added a work cited page with the links to the sites I lifted them from.
You get what you pay for.”
16. Yell At Me For Nothing And I'll Decrease Your Chances Of Getting Into College
“High school. We were in history class, I really had to go to the bathroom. A girl was already out and we were only allowed to leave one at a time. Fine. However, this girl often goes to the bathroom, then just hangs out and is gone for like 30 minutes.
So after 20 minutes, I had to really go. I asked to use the bathroom and got denied. Teacher said someone was out already. I said she has been out for almost the entire class, I need to go. Someone texts the girl and she appears.
Looks angry. Yells at me in the hall.
Petty revenge starts now.
She was trying to become our homeroom class president. Not really a serious position, but it was leadership and college applications usually need some kind of leadership spot. So it was an easy checkmark on the app.
Class was about 30 kids. Two people were running. That girl and another. They said their two-minute speeches. At the point where we cast our votes, I had a little group of the class (friends) vote for another one of us. A guy she hated and this guy didn’t care about anything.
So he won as a write-in. He was elected and she lost her little check box to a guy that didn’t even want the spot.
I don’t know if it made a difference, but I knew she thought that her college chances just decreased.”
15. Complain About My Driving? Good Luck Cleaning Up The Interior Of Your Car
“Back when I was a senior in high school around Christmas time, my parents allowed me to skip school to go buy Christmas gifts for the day.
I had my license so I was excited to just do my own thing that day. I head out to the mall in the other town and am having one of those really good days. You know, where for no particular reason you are just happy and floating through the day.
It was sunny out and not too cold. Just a perfect day.
After I finish up at the mall, I figure I would treat myself. I got one of those big gulp Slurpees from 7/11. The almost gallon-looking cup that barely fits into any of your cup holders with the red shovel and straw of Mountain Dew Code Red. Yes, this was continuing to be an awesome day.
I needed to cross a bridge to get over the big river in our area and onto the highway I needed. The bridge had the outside lane closed midway through. I’m in the inside lane and need to get to the right turn lane at the end of the bridge.
Before the closure, this lady in a nice BMW tries to speed up and cut in front of me before the lane closed. I was like, huh? This was dangerous as it is being all tight and everyone following close so I don’t let her in.
She slides in behind me, cutting off the person behind me.
Whatever. I can see in my mirror she is waving her arms around, clearly upset. As I pull into the right turn lane, she pulls up next to me and rolls down her window.
All I see are animated movements and someone yelling. So I roll down my window. This old witch isn’t going to ruin my day.
My initial plan is to just be overly nice to her. Witchy people in a fit hate when you are super nice to them.
But after I roll down my window I hear her breaking into a tirade against teenage drivers and just being a mean woman because I wouldn’t let her break the rules and cut everyone in line.
‘You kids should learn manners.’ ‘You kids shouldn’t be driving.’ ‘I’ll have you arrested!’
So I had a moment of brilliance. I reach over, grab my fully-filled, bright red Slurpee and with my right arm, I chuck it across my body. My initial plan was that it would hit her door or something and spill everywhere on her paint causing her to have to go to a car wash.
What actually happened turned out better than I could have imagined.
Now, remember she was leaning over into the passenger seat to yell at me. As I chucked this tank of red sticky Slurpee out my window, it didn’t hit her car door or any part of the outside.
Instead, it sailed perfectly into her open window and exploded when it hit the headrest of her passenger seat. I’m talking bright red Slurpee exploding all over the nice tan leather interior, windshield, and best of all—on the woman’s face.
The look of utter shock and awe on her face was absolutely incredible.
She went from one moment of being rude, mean, and authoritative to suddenly shocked and trying to process her situation. I simply said, ‘Merry Christmas’ and drove away. Those were the only words I spoke to her.
Afterward, I felt kind of bad. I mean, I didn’t mean to throw it into her car but rather on it.
That mess must have been a pain in the butt to get cleaned up. But after thinking about it a little more, I was very happy that it turned out the way it did.”
14. If You Stab Me In The Back, You Don't Get To Copy Off Of Me
“In 5th grade, I had a friend. We’ll call her S.
We had a math exam that was very important. The night before, one of my friends told me that S didn’t actually like me or want anything to do with me. I was hurt because we hung out every day. She was mad about a boy who liked me and not her.
In his defense, my brother was friends with him and she had no connections other than knowing I knew him because of my brother.
Well after I heard what she said, I was upset. She then came up to me like nothing was wrong.
‘Hey girl, we have that math exam today, mind if I copy off your answers?
You’re better at math than me. Just circle the answers really big on the worksheet so I know which one is right.’
I agreed.
But.
After I did the work, I would put a small dash next to the correct answers and I would put a large circle around the wrong answers.
(I threw in a few correct ones as to not be too mean). We had scantrons. She was filling it out as she saw my answers but I waited to fill mine until after she turned her test in. Then I also went back and circled the correct answers so my teacher wouldn’t be accusing me of being the one who copied.
When we got our exams back, S told me, ‘Wow, we got 35s! That is really bad. We should really consider going to tutoring.’
I got a 95 but told her I also got a 35. Sorry not sorry, S.”
13. Thanks For Getting Me In Trouble, Now Have Fun Getting Fired
“Last year when I was working at Chipotle, one of the assistant managers was just the worst. He would just sit in the office on his phone gossiping or screaming in Spanish all day.
If something needed to be done he’d always make one of us do it, no matter how long the line was, he’d take breaks for over an hour when we’re only allowed 30 minutes, and he would blame other people for things that went wrong.
One night after I left work, apparently things went berserk and we got lots of bad reviews.
I come back to work the next day and my manager sits me down and discusses all of the things I did wrong. Here comes the assistant manager saying, ‘I don’t want him to lose his job but he needs to do better’ and that was a wrap.
I find out he somehow blamed everything he did wrong on me from the previous day and I was done taking his crap, so instead of making a scene (since I’m the quiet one who just listens instead of causing drama), I took my manager aside and told her how it really happened and got other co-workers that hated him to back me up.
They reviewed the security cameras and he got fired the next day.
I saw him about a week later at the neighborhood grocery store and it was mad awkward because I don’t think he realized quiet little me was the one that got him fired.”
12. If You're Going To Steal My Artwork, Don't Be Surprised When It Backfires On You
“Back in high school, I used to make digital art as a hobby. I had a small amount of early success with it, with a few social media followers (Livejournal, if that gives an indication of time frame—about 15 years ago), and a handful of commissions from record labels for album covers, etc. I had a website that I had made myself, which was a huge struggle since I didn’t know HTML at the time, but it worked and I was proud of it.
At some point, I was browsing my website’s traffic stats, and noticed some traffic originating from a website in India. Turned out it was an art thief, some idiot in India who had created his own art website, looking to be hired for commissions. He had not only used my digital illustrations on his website, claiming them as his own, but he actually didn’t bother to host them on his own website.
Instead, he embedded them on his website, but their URL path was still linking to my hosting.
So I updated the images on my own website to have a different address, and then replaced the images he had stolen on my own web hosting with new images—plain white backgrounds with bold black text saying something along the lines of ‘(Fake Artist’s Name) is attempting to claim ownership of artwork that he has no affiliation or involvement with.
Please do not support this art thief. He does not possess the legal right to sell this image, or any image displayed on this website.’ And then I included a URL to my own website. Hit refresh on his website, and boom, half of his images claiming to be his art now show this message.
It must have stood there for at least a few days because it took about a week, but he eventually emailed me and claimed he was going to report me for hacking his website. When I pointed out that he had been linking to images hosted on my website, he never replied back.”
11. Oh, Did I Ruin The Ending For You? I Wonder How That Must Feel
“My friend who is obsessed with Star Wars ruined the ending of The Force Awakens for me.
The day after it came out, mind you. I was angry. I had made it very clear I was going to see the movie that night but he couldn’t keep his big mouth shut.
So, for Christmas, I got him a huge Star Wars Puzzle.
He was excited about the puzzle and worked on it immediately and over the course of several days.
I got word that he was having trouble finishing the puzzle.
When the time was right (and after he’d tore apart his living room searching), I sent him a picture of the final puzzle piece and said, ‘Oh, did I ruin the ending for you?’
I then destroyed the puzzle piece.”
10. You Think Giving Me Dirty Gum Is Funny? Let's See How You Like It
“A friend in elementary school once offered me chewing gum. As soon as I started chewing, he burst into laughter and told me that he had walked over the chewing gum with his dirty shoes. I was really shocked and surprised by the stupidity of his joke, and still, to this day I cannot understand how someone could possibly find such a dumb thing funny.
The next day, he offered me chewing gum again, with a wide smirk on his face. I was sure that this time the gum was clean and he was expecting me to refuse it so that he could say, ‘Ha! This one is clean you dummy!’
I didn’t give him the pleasure. Instead, I accepted the gum. I walked away a few steps where he couldn’t see me. I then proceeded to walk over the gum with my dirty shoes.
I returned to him, holding the gum in my hand with a suspicious look on my face.
‘Are you sure this one is clean?’ I asked.
‘Of course it is, you dummy,’ he replied, very content at this turn of events.
I said, ‘You are lying, the gum is dirty!’
He proved me wrong by grabbing the gum from my hand and victoriously chewing on it.
At this point, I burst into laughter. His smile went from 10 to 0 as he slowly realized my game.”
9. You Might Not Respect Me, But Hope You Enjoy The Extra Work In The Morning
“I used to work for a bagel and coffee shop chain. We had a manager quit, so it was mainly another manager and I covering and running a location about an hour away.
The other manager was much older than me and didn’t like or respect me. She wouldn’t prep enough, didn’t order enough product, always scheduled me with new workers so I could train them. She was a witch. I didn’t like her, the team didn’t like her, the guests didn’t like her.
So I started to Urnex the coffee pots every night before she worked. Urnex is cleaner. At night, they fill the pots with water and put the Urnex in. In the morning, you have to empty the pots, refill them with clean water, and drain them again.
It doesn’t take too long, but we had 12 coffee pots and could only drain 3 at a time without the drain overflowing. Needless to say, she had a lot of work to do in the morning.”
8. Spell My Name Wrong On Purpose? I'll Spell Yours Wrong, Too
“My first name is Stacy with no E.
One of my biggest pet peeves is having people spell it wrong.
My own family is guilty of this.
I worked with a woman named Lesa. Not the normal Lisa, but Lesa.
We worked on a project together and she had to email me several times a day. Each time she spelled my name Stacey. It didn’t seem to matter that my signature was spelled without an E or that Outlook had it spelled without an E.
She always put the E in it and it drove me nuts.
I finally said something to her that it bothered me. She apologized. I figured with an oddly spelled name, she’d be extra sensitive to it. Nope. The very next email she sent, less than an hour later, she spelled it wrong again.
From that moment on any time I wrote her an email or referred to her in a group email, I typed Lisa. It still gives me great satisfaction that I did that.”
7. You Thought I Was Gross In 5th Grade, But Look Who's Laughing Now
“In 5th grade, I was this awkward, bookish outcast and got made fun of a lot.
I did not have much in the way of friends. I had a major crush on this boy in my class, and he somehow found out. He was kind of a jerk about it, saying, ‘Eww, gross’ and stuff like that. I was anxious and desperate for approval, so that was devastating.
His family eventually moved out of the country and life went on.
In 10th grade, he came back. I had an English class with him. By then I’d grown up a bit, gained a tiny bit of confidence, and developed well. This guy came in on the first day, sat right behind me, and said, ‘Hey, I remember you!
You had a huge crush on me in 5th grade!’
I turned, raised an eyebrow, looked him over. I snorted. ‘Yeah, there’s no accounting for taste, huh?’ I said with a rueful half-smile. Then I turned back around and ignored him, though not before catching a glance of his surprised expression.
Looking back, it’s entirely possible he was just trying to open up a conversation. Also possible he was going to be a jerk about it some more. And that he didn’t quite understand what I meant.
I don’t know. I don’t care. I loved that moment.”
6. Before You Kick Our Sandcastle Again, Are You Ready For A Cast On Your Foot?
“When we were kids, my brother and I were on holiday with the family.
We used to go to this beach most days to swim and play in the sand.
Being nine years old and twins, we both loved building sandcastles—big elaborate ones with moats, flags, the works.
There was this group of older boys who thought it was funny to destroy our creations, sometimes as we were building them.
My brother had the bright idea of finding a rock on the beach and then building a sandcastle over it, so that the rock was completely covered. When later that day the group of bullies turned up, their leader with a smirk on his face, ran at the sandcastle and kicked it hard.
Watching his face turn red then see him hopping around clutching his foot was priceless.”
5. This Womanizer Got What He Deserved In The Form Of Jalapeños
“I had a coworker steal a giant can of jalapeños and put them in his backpack, which is where we all have our lockers and shoes and stuff.
He had placed his backpack on top of our towels and aprons. I went to grab an apron and his backpack fell on the floor and I heard it explode!
It immediately smelled like jalapeños in the changing room. This is the point where I assumed he’d stolen them.
I’m the manager and he didn’t say a word about it when he said bye to everyone. Not really intentional revenge but my boss and I thought it was hilarious!
One of my main responsibilities is to watch spending on ingredients and employee hours. I would’ve given it to him if he would’ve asked. He thought he was slick.
Also, a major hypocrite and all-around womanizing sack of trash. I have all sisters and can’t stand his male-entitlement.
I’m a guy.”
4. Argue About My Presentation? Dude, I Don't Really Care That Much
“I was an Education major after switching from Engineering. To say it was super easy is an understatement. I never studied.
In one class, we gave mini-presentations during class on a part of the required reading which was a big book of common sense (poor people have trouble learning, rich kids get all the perks, etc).
Each group of 5-6 students would be given a portion, 5 minutes to prep the section, and weren’t told which section until the day of class.
Every class, I would ask my group to give me the book, which I didn’t bother buying. I read for 2-3 minutes and then presented for 10 minutes using pure impromptu skills and a fat load of nonsense.
This one time, a classmate began to get all indignant about my presentation and began to argue. I think that the presentation was on the US poor and I was saying we were neglecting our poor at the expense of other countries’ poor. Honestly, I don’t remember the details as I was just giving a presentation for a grade.
I was definitely not giving my personal position. I was using facts that I was more or less making up. I didn’t care. It was the easiest way to talk a lot on a subject I only had 3 minutes to prepare for.
So, this woman is going full nuclear SJW (social justice warrior) or something.
My cover is quickly being blown as I have no clue on anything about the chapter or what she’s talking about. However, I keep her going as it’s enjoyable to watch her get so upset. After Engineering, my GPA was shot anyways. I’ve got nothing to lose.
Just when she was at her climax, I explained that everything I said, the facts, the position, etc, came from a thirty-second commercial that I saw the night before. I explained that I don’t really care either way and that it probably really didn’t matter.
Not that it was the truth, but the teacher began laughing with me.”
3. If You're Going To Make Me Sleep In A Sauna, Prepare To Wake Up Freezing
“Went on holiday with a friend and her family when we were in our early teens and had to share the room. It was a hot climate and since we came from a relatively cold climate, we found the heat unbearable.
Friend called dibs on the bed by the air conditioning, then proceeded to take complete control of it. The room was a sauna and obviously, I couldn’t sleep, but she refused to turn up the AC because since she was right next to it she would get cold.
By the third night in, after refusing my request to swap beds, I am beyond irritable due to sleep deprivation and she’s inadvertently mocking me by sleeping soundly next to the barely-functioning AC. So I turned that thing up full pelt while she was snoring away and had the best night’s sleep thereafter.
Woke up before her and turned it back down so when she finally woke with a sore throat and the sniffles she agreed to swap beds with me, and I only slightly felt bad that she had a bit of a sore throat for the rest of the trip.”
2. This Landlord Was Dreadful, So I Placed Rats In His Piano
“I had a dreadful landlord with whom I had to live (I was essentially one of three lodgers).
I lived in his home for about three months, watching other tenants come and go. The roommate turnover was very high, and for good reason. This man combined the worst qualities of a hoarder with a neat-freak, had no sense of boundaries or scale, neglected basic landlord responsibilities such as ensuring heat and power.
And yet, I never showed the slightest hint of displeasure. I smiled through everything and was always courteous and friendly in the face of his awfulness. I knew, you see, that someday I might have to correct him, and it would be better if he had no anticipation of any impending retribution.
I had a spare key cut for his house and kept it in my pocket at all times.
When he refused to return my deposit until a month after I had left the premises, I began my plan. I waited. And waited. And waited. Three months after I had left, with my cash firmly in hand, I went to a local pet store and bought several frozen rats.
They are intended as snake food, I believe. I cased his house until he and all his current tenants had left. Then I entered, fed his dog some treats, and dropped the frozen rats, one by one, inside his beloved piano.
The rats, you see, began to thaw very slowly.
Then they began to rot. Have you ever smelled the rotting carcass of a dead rat? It’s vile. Putrescent. It permeates everything. There is a reason for the phrase, ‘I smell a rat.’
I knew it would take some time before he could find the source of the smell.
I knew further that the bloated, oozing corpses would utterly ruin his piano. But above all, I knew that he would have absolutely no way of connecting the incident with any kind of human intervention. It would look, for all the world, like a nest of rats had made their home and perished in his piano. He could not convincingly lay blame on me or anyone else presently in his house.
Revenge isn’t about teaching people a lesson, you see. It’s not important that they know what they did wrong. It is merely enough to mete out the appropriate level of cosmic punishment for your own sense of satisfaction.”
1. I Take Chess As Seriously As You Take Sloppy Joes, So Who's Going To Win Now?
“I was in a chess tournament at an extremely academic middle school. I wasn’t a very smart child and was constantly next to last place in everything I did.
I was competing in the chess tournament (a big thing at this school) and was doing pretty well. It meant a lot to me. But then the chess coach starts watching me and his protégé in a game. In his mind, this kid has already won.
Close to the end of the game, both of us have barely enough pieces to checkmate the other and I see a move that could make him win but am purposefully scanning the board to not give it away.
My opponent touches the wrong piece to checkmate me.
In chess, if you touch a piece, you have to move it. But the chess coach sees this and says, ‘Hey, didn’t you mean to make this move?’ Then makes me let him take the turn back. I blew up but the coach said tough luck.
I’d known my opponent since he was in first grade. He had always been socially awkward but at this school had been slowly becoming that ‘nerdy cool kid at college attracting future gold diggers’ you may have seen in crappy teen shows. He and I were sitting at a lunch table one day and he asks me if sloppy joes have beef in them.
This may seem an odd thing for the smart kid to ask but he was Indian and Hindu.
The sinister smile of a million villains crept up from behind my eyes. If I couldn’t win at chess he couldn’t go to heaven. I tell him, ‘Nope.’
Then a few weeks later, I told my entire grade in a ‘humanities’ class what I did. I told them knowing his conservative parents would find out. I remember his mom chaperoning a field trip to the zoo in elementary, but I still wish I could have seen her face, and explained to her why I did it.”
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