People Welcome Contradicting Opinions To Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
36. AITJ For Reporting The Maintenance Guy For Stealing?
“A few nights ago our neighbors asked to borrow our vacuum while they were moving out so we let them. When they brought it back, they offered my husband $20 and he politely refused.
The next day, my husband rode his bike to work and hadn’t texted me he got there safely. I was worried maybe he didn’t leave the house so I checked our door cam (which is typically off but was on for another situation that isn’t relevant) and saw he had left. I also saw our neighbors left the money under our mat yesterday morning.
I kept that in the back of my mind and checked the camera throughout the day just to see if someone took it while we were at work. The whole day went by and no one touched it and I was shocked. We don’t live in the best apartment complex and probably 75 people walked right by our door.
While I was leaving work I checked one more time before I left and saw someone take it. I called the apartment and asked if there was anything that could be done since packages are constantly stolen and I finally got someone on camera taking actual cash. They told me there was nothing they could do.
I looked at the footage again and realized the person that took the money was none other than the maintenance person who works for the complex. I was shocked and upset in the moment so called back and asked if there was anything that could be done since it was one of their employees. They had me email the footage over.
Once I emailed the video I immediately felt bad because he probably needed the money and I didn’t.
When the manager called he expressed how mortified he was and told me they would handle it internally. I told him I didn’t think anyone should be fired and that I didn’t want the money back. He told me he would give the money back and that it would be ‘handled appropriately’.
This guy is probably going to lose his job over $20 that was a gift. Part of me is upset because if that’s what he is doing in front of a security camera what is he doing when he is in apartments when he is alone? AITJ?”
35. AITJ For How I Spoke To My Mom's Friend?
“I (25 F) don’t speak to my mother, like at all. I had to go to my mother’s house today to pick up an important document that I left behind when I moved out seven years ago.
As soon as I got to the house, my mother suddenly had a massive ’emergency’ and realized that it was apparently her friend’s funeral today and she completely forgot about it.
I couldn’t help but internally roll my eyes, as there is always some drama hence why I have gone no/very low contact.
She asked me if I would watch my two younger brothers (7 and 11) whilst she went to the funeral, and I said absolutely not, as it’s my only day off, I have plans, and I have no relationship with them due to my mother stopping them from seeing me for years.
I just wanted to get my birth certificate and leave.
My mother asked her friend if she would babysit and asked me to stay for 10 minutes until her friend came. I didn’t even get the opportunity to say no before my mother left the house. I was seething but resolved to wait 10 minutes. My mother’s friend turned up and started berating me for not agreeing to look after my brothers whilst my mother went to the funeral.
I said ‘I don’t have anything to do with my mother, it’s my day off work, and I’m under no obligation to look after anyone else’s children’. My mother’s friend then told me to ‘go to my room’. I laughed in her face and started to leave the house, and she asked me where I was going.
And I told her, ‘My room, at my apartment, that I pay for with my big girl job. Because I’m an adult, not a child. And don’t ever speak down to me like that again’. And I left.
My mother has left me loads of messages and missed calls saying I’m a jerk for the way I spoke to her friend.
I do admit I look kinda young but I still am not happy with the way my mother’s friend spoke to me.
AITJ?”
34. AITJ For Throwing The Seller's Things Away?
“It took over 3 months to close on our apartment because when we did the walk-through, we found the seller’s things everywhere – stacks and stacks of dishes, clothes, makeup, books, etc. We asked several times for her to come get her things but her broker kept making the excuse that she’s an old woman and it was hard for her.
The next walk-through, her stuff was still there, maybe 10% of it moved. A total waste of time and significant costs on our side waiting for her, but our attorney advised waiting for them to sort that out or to pay for the disposal.
Finally, after months of this and 4 walk-throughs, our attorney sent a letter basically saying close or return the contract deposit.
The seller’s side agreed to close and regarding the stuff that was still there, the seller arranged to pay $2k for the disposal, and we signed on that and she paid it.
On the day we moved in, the seller called and emailed us begging for us to hold her things. Fine, we even gathered her things into a closet since it’s a small apartment with limited storage space and moved some of her leftover furniture out of the way.
My husband figured we had to wait 10 days for the disposal company, so if she could come to get it before then, let her have it. Meanwhile, I was ready to leave her crap on the curb for all the grief she caused us already.
The seller agreed to come the next day but kept rescheduling because of health, family visiting, etc. I reminded her of the date the disposal company was coming.
Of course, she showed up at 3 pm on the day the disposal company came but it was hours after they already picked up her stuff.
She then started crying and making a scene in the lobby, eventually running past the doormen and banging on our door, yelling for her things or her $2k back, which didn’t make sense because the $2k was for them to take this stuff away and they did.
The neighbors called the police and more annoyingly, she tried to convince them that we were bullying her and that she still lived there (her license had the address). It was an uphill battle for us to convince them that we are the new owners and thankfully the building had staff that knew that.
Finally, they got her out of there but she keeps calling us bad people and showed up another time to the building.
We are considering filing a restraining order. Our families think we were jerks for not waiting for her but she had over 3 months to move her crap and she was totally unreliable. AITJ?”
33. AITJ For Not Engaging In Conversations With A Coworker?
“I (30 f) have recently been promoted to a manager which also involves some team leading.
I have been on the same team for over 4 years and was in a pretty technical role (the team is split between those who do more back-end work and those who are more front-end). Due to this, I have made some friends in the technical part of the team.
After becoming a manager a girl on my team Amy (26) decided to become really friendly with me.
She is on front end team and can talk for hours without end if you engage in conversation with her. She has been on the team longer than I did.
However as I still do a lot of technical things in the background I don’t really have time to chat for hours on end, meaning Amy has to do actual work.
I try not to engage in conversations with her unless they are work-related and if she talks to someone for waaaay too long about nonwork-related things (20+ minutes while not doing anything) I give her a side eye prompting to actually work. Over lunchtime, she can do what she wants and talk to whoever she wants.
Monday I was called into a meeting with HR. Apparently, Amy complained about my not engaging in conversations with her is ‘unfriendly and hostile’. She has also mentioned that she feels I treat my friends from back end team better because we hang out outside work. Now while I do know them better, we only hang out every other Saturday to play DnD (Dungeons and Dragons) with some other people we don’t work with.
I have told HR that and have mentioned that Amy has never tried to be friends with me until I got promoted. I have also mentioned that I am busy working and really don’t have time to chat for hours about my personal life and we have different interests too, alongside with that I can not afford a member of my team to talk instead of work.
I think after HR had a talk with Amy and gave her a warning, as since then I’ve heard whispers about me being a jerk for being nicer to my fellow team members than to Amy.
AITJ?”
32. AITJ For Going Straight To The Head Of The Student Union?
“I (19 F) am a sophomore in college. Monday and Tuesday are Rosh Hashanah and so I’m not going to my classes on those days; I’ll be going to the holiday events the Jewish student union is putting on those days.
Now I do have an excused absence note from them for my classes but I still wanted to be polite and give my professors a heads-up that I would be out those days. All of them were fine with it except for one professor. She’s giving a quiz in class on Tuesday and didn’t want to let me make it up.
I told her if she put it online I would be happy to still take it on the same day that way we wouldn’t have to reschedule. She said she’d think about it and get back to me. Then says she’s going to put it online but we have to be in class for it because she doesn’t want us to be dishonest. I was starting to panic and get pretty annoyed at this point because what’s the point of it being online if I still have to be in class for it?
So at this point, I reach out to the head of the student union and explain the situation. He must have called her or something and basically told her she had no choice, she has to let me reschedule. I went to class Thursday and she was very visibly annoyed with me and said I have to come during office hours and take it (which is fine).
I was venting about the situation to my friends and a few of them said I should have just sucked it up and went because now she’s going to dislike me for getting her in trouble and I would have got to leave right after the test anyways. But I don’t think I was asking for much; no one would be expected to come to take a test on Christmas or Easter and this is an important holiday for me.
So AITJ for going over her head to get this fixed?”
31. AITJ For Thinking That My Partner's Cat Just Needs More Time To Get Used To Me?
“I (27 F) am upset by the fact that my partner, Ruby (28 F), and her sister, Pearl (30 F), have decided that Ruby’s cat, Smudge (7 M), has determined me to be untrustworthy.
The reasons are as follows.
Ruby and I have been living together for about a year, and I have never owned a cat before. This isn’t because I dislike cats – although I always had dogs growing up – but also simply because I haven’t had a pet of my own since moving out, because I wanted to make sure that I was settled and stable in my career so that I could provide for one long-term.
Ruby has owned Smudge since Smudge was a baby, his whole life, and I absolutely knew that being with Ruby meant hanging out with and eventually living with Smudge. I was very happy to have a pet back in my life. In light of that, I have tried my very best to become an educated cat owner, as plenty of friends and family were quick to advise that dogs and cats have completely different styles of communication and very different needs.
I did research about letting the cat come to you and how to respect Smudge’s boundaries. I did research about what kinds of toys and stimulations he was likely to need – although the internet tells me he will likely only play with the boxes anyway (so far, true). I learned that cats are territory animals, and moving into my apartment (I had the larger one) was going to be stressful for him.
I have tried to let him get accustomed to my scent. I genuinely care for this cat, he’s very cute and very important to Ruby, and I wanted to make sure that he’s well loved and provided for and that I wasn’t ignorantly making the move worse for him. But it’s been just over a year, and Smudge… hasn’t taken a shine to me, at all.
Pearl came over for a visit this weekend and told Ruby that this was a sign I was untrustworthy because animals and their instincts always know best – especially when people have secret red flags. She suggested that Smudge’s coolness towards me was a sign that he knows something about me that Ruby doesn’t, then went so far as to say that it could be that I’m having an affair or mistreating Smudge.
Ruby hesitated and then said that maybe Pearl was right and Smudge did know something. I was devastated and spent several hours sobbing in our bedroom while they talked. I love Ruby and I’ve come to feel, if not love, then at least deep affection for Smudge despite his reservations.
Before Pearl left, I told her she was unbearably cruel for suggesting what she did, and that Smudge probably just needs more time to adjust to a new space.
Ruby said I was being a terrible partner and left with Pearl (and Smudge). I was expecting more support from my friends, but a lot of them have surprisingly made comments about animals’ intuition and how Ruby is just being reasonably cautious.
AITJ for thinking that Smudge probably just needs more time, and being hurt that both Ruby and Pearl feel that he has some higher insight?”
30. AITJ For Paying For Laundry Service?
“I (33 M) have been married to my wife (33 F) for a bit over 10 years now. For the duration of our marriage and a bit before that, she has done the laundry in the household.
This was her choice and I never once asked her to do my laundry. She volunteered when she first moved in with me and found out I was paying for wash & fold, saying it was a waste of money. For what it’s worth, I spent less per week on laundry service than she spends in 2 days at Starbucks, and I don’t really have any other vices I spend so it wasn’t hurting my budget at all.
About two months ago after visiting her sister, she came home complaining about not ‘being my mother’ and that she was done doing my laundry effective immediately. I didn’t complain, just told her okay and thought that was the end of it.
I have a dry cleaner on my way to work, and I’ve had a relationship with them for years for cleaning my suits already, so I simply started taking my laundry there every week.
I drop it off before work on Friday morning and it’s ready for pickup by my lunch break. This worked out fine until last Friday. Normally I leave the house before my wife wakes up, and get home while she is still at work, so she never noticed I guess (I did not intentionally hide it, just never mentioned it because it didn’t seem important).
But Friday there was an issue with one of their machines, so they said it would be Monday before I could pick up my clothes. No problem, I have plenty to wear in between. I mentioned that in passing to my wife over dinner that evening and she lost her mind. Started screaming about it being pathetic that I can’t do my own laundry (I can, I just would rather work an hour overtime at work and pay somebody to do it for me than do it myself), calling me a manchild and screaming about this is what her sister warned her of.
I’ve tried asking what the big deal is, but she just keeps repeating that a grown adult should do their own laundry and won’t talk to me other than that.
AITJ for paying for laundry service instead of washing it myself? I feel like if I’m not putting the burden on her, it shouldn’t matter how I chose to handle it.
ETA: We mostly split all other household chores, I probably do a bit more than her since I handle all dinners, grocery shopping, and yardwork but I also get home earlier than her in the evening so it just makes sense. We each do about an hour or two of cleaning together on the weekends to cover the non-daily stuff.
And it isn’t eating into the budget, I wake up an hour earlier and go to work early once a week to offset the cost.”
29. AITJ For Refusing To Change My Hair Color For My Dad And His Partner's Wedding?
“I’m a 19-year-old girl and my dad is marrying his partner of five years. She wants me to be one of her bridesmaids as it’d look great to have me up there. I’m not particularly close to her but we’re civil so whatever right? I agreed telling her I’d be happy to do so and to let me know if she needed any help with wedding things.
I got a call from her last week telling me that she wants me to go to her hairdresser with her so my hair can be made a more natural color like my natural brown or even a deeper chestnut as she thought that’d look nice on me. I was confused by this and asked her what she was talking about.
She told me I’d stand out too much in the bridal party with my hair. I have waist-length hair that is an ombre of purple and pink. My hair has been this color for the past three years so it’s not like I sprung it on her out of nowhere just before the wedding.
I told her I wasn’t about to ruin the style I spend a lot of money and time to upkeep just for her wedding and she implied that at 19 I was getting too old for such a childish style and it was really for my own good and reminded me how I’d told her if she needed anything for the wedding to let me know.
She then told me this is what she needed.
I was shocked by this and pointed out I’d meant something like picking up party favors for the reception, dress fittings, and the like not changing my hair. I told her I wouldn’t be doing this sorry and if she felt that way I just wouldn’t be her bridesmaid so I didn’t stand out too much.
She was upset with me and the call ended rather coldly. I’ve had my dad phoning me every so often since then trying to talk me into changing my hair. He is implying it’s not a big deal and he’ll pay to fix my hair after the wedding… that’s not the point. It’ll be hard to get my hair back to this and bad to recolor it so soon anyway and I don’t see why I have to change my style for her, I can just be a guest (though honestly, I don’t even want to be that now).
He told me I had to be her bridesmaid as she’d told everyone I would be and how I’d embarrass her in front of her friends and family if I refused now as they’d think we’re not close. I’ve pointed out to him that we’re not and it’s on her if she made it seem like we were to people she knows.
I told him if I HAD to be a bridesmaid she could accept my hair as it is or I’d just stay home.
I dunno, maybe it’s my inexperience with weddings as I’ve never been to one before but surely this is too much for them to ask of me? Maybe I should just cave in as my dad has said he’ll pay to fix my hair after but the idea of going through all the work to fix it and the damage it could cause is upsetting to me.
Should I just suck it up for my dad’s sake? My mum is mad over this and has been fighting with my dad on this matter.”
28. AITJ For Trashing My Mother-In-Law's List Of Visitation Time With My Baby?
“My (f 32) husband (m 34) is the only child in the family.
His mom always ALWAYS wanted a grandbaby and unfortunately, she was never able to become a grandmother as my husband was married before and his ex was unable to have kids. He also tried adoption while single but couldn’t. When we found out that we were expecting MIL couldn’t be, I’ve it. She started visiting daily (didn’t do that in the past) started bringing stuff for the baby and paid a lot of money.
My son is now 4 weeks old. MIL retired right after he was born and told us she was making herself ‘free and available’ for her grandbaby. She stayed with me for a whole 2 weeks and only went home recently. Those 2 weeks were unbearable with her being all over me just to get to the baby.
I was getting fed up but I kept my mouth shut and played nice. Then she started complaining about missing her grandbaby and not being able to see him every day and watch him ‘grow’. She sent me a list called ‘visitation time’. In this list, she mentioned all the times when we’re expected to bring the baby to her.
5 days a week (and spending the weekend with her) hours from 10 am to 5 pm and saying she had a bottle ready for feeding and a closet full of diapers. Not just that but she wants him overnight on Monday and Wednesday that’s 2 nights a week.
Now as a new mom, I couldn’t imagine having my newborn son away from me for that long and especially overnight.
I called her to give her my response which is a no but she ranted about how I need to lose up and stop being unreasonable and emotionally too attached. This made me mad, I’m not gonna lie. So I took her list and used scissors to shred it into pieces. I took a picture of the paper shredded and sent it to her hoping she’d get the message and get how serious I am about my ‘No’.
Apparently, she cried to my husband and the whole family because they claimed I was trying to keep her one and only grandbaby away from him after she waited for so long to have him and my husband went on me after coming home from work to call my move childish and pathetic.
I still keep getting backlash over this and now I’m starting to think maybe I’m in the wrong for how I behaved the entire interaction with her but I was just trying to enforce my boundaries after she brushed them off.
AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Not Wanting To Cook Meat For Our Guests?
“I’ve been a vegetarian since I was 11, I’m now 26. I come from a very traditional and carnivorous family, so I know how to break down (raw meat) and cook meat. The thing is I HATE the texture, look, and touch of raw meat. It makes me physically nauseous. when I lived with my parents I did most of the cooking and that included meat.
I hated it though and always promised myself I’d never cook meat once I moved out. I should mention, I have no problem with cooked meat. Or people eating it or cooking it around me. I don’t care. I’ve hosted friends at my place, they just bought and cooked their own meat. I don’t eat fish, but raw fish just doesn’t bother me as much so I make it for him.
My partner is pescatarian but occasionally eats meat though. Now to yesterday. We’ve recently moved in together and are planning our first barbecue/get-together/party thing. Family and friends from both our families are invited. I’m taking care of the cooking. I do most of the cooking in our relationship. He tells me he’s buying whole chicken and beef for me to prepare and cook.
I say no. We’ve been together for a few years, I don’t cook meat. I told him when we first started going out. He knows this. I tell him I’ll make fish and we can order some meat dishes or he can pay one of my friends to cook some. He gets mad at me and we start arguing
He says I’m a hypocrite, I cook meat for my parents and I need to respect other people’s diets and be a good host by cooking meat when we have meat-eating guests. He says his friends and family always accommodate my diet by offering me meat-free options. Why can I not respect them?
But I just don’t think it’s the same.
I made meat for my parents because I lived under their roof. I needed to respect their rules. When I moved out I stopped making meat for my family and friends and they all respected my decision. I also think it’s much easier to exclude meat than to include it in meals, but mostly I really really really hate raw meat.
After having been forced to cook it for so long I finally have a choice and I just don’t want to.
My partner is really mad at me now. He wants to cancel the party. I feel horrible. I just don’t know, am I really the jerk in this situation?”
26. AITJ For Leaving My Mom's House After What Her Husband Said To My Husband?
“I lost my baby girl at 6 months in October and am trying to do my best.
My mom had asked us (me, my husband, and our 3 F) once our lease was up in February to move into her and her husband’s house so we could save to start over.
We happily accepted and we were given some rules and whatnot and we expressed just some simple rules like not trying to parent our daughter and not drinking in front of my daughter. (this is important later!) Everyone agreed and it was fine for the first month, but then things slowly went downhill. My mom and her husband would try and undermine my parenting and give unsolicited advice.
Her husband and she started drinking heavily every day.
We stayed out of the house while my husband worked and was home only to sleep mainly.
Now my husband is crafty with wood, so he decided he was going to build a wooden shadow box to place our daughter’s urn and a few nicknacks we were given after she passed. So he had started building it and was halfway finished.
My mom’s husband got wasted 2 weeks ago and was in a mood. He tried picking a fight with me and didn’t work. So we left. Not even 20 minutes later my husband’s phone is blowing up with him (mom’s husband) texting him pictures of the box in the fire pit and telling him that he hopes he can live with being a baby killer.
(Note: my husband performed CPR on our daughter and obliviously it didn’t help, it’s a guilt my husband actually lives with and we’ve been told by the doctor there wasn’t anything he or I could have done.) So needless to say I called my mom all upset freaking out asking what is wrong with him?!
She told me that it’s his way of dealing with it and we need to accept it and that he didn’t know it was the box (we showed them the box a week before).
We returned and packed most of our stuff and left after me telling my mom that she picked her husband and I hope she can live with never seeing me or my daughter again for agreeing with her husband about what he did/said.
We are staying with friends who have no issue with us staying until needed.
Now my mom has taken to telling only people that I have up and left and am keeping her granddaughter from her. Once I tell them why, they say the same thing she said.
I’m just confused wondering if I took it too far by keeping her granddaughter from her?”
25. AITJ For Not Serving A Girl Ice Cream?
“I’m working (18 F) my first food service job. I work at a pretty small ice cream shop, nothing special. We’re right next to a restaurant so we sometimes get customers who wanna come over for dessert.
I was working by myself yesterday (besides the manager) and had a kid come up to the window for a large cup of ice cream. I’m assuming the kid was 11F, but I could be wrong. I never got confirmation. She was small but she spoke well so I just assumed she was a middle schooler or a later elementary student.
She had money so of course I served her. We get kids a lot, and I noticed parents will usually push their younger kids to order for themselves because ice cream is a pretty simple and straightforward order.
Anyways, maybe 5 minutes after that, a woman marches over saying she’s her mother and that I had no right to serve a young child without a parent present.
Apparently, the kid had just dipped from the restaurant and gone off on her own to get some ice cream, or at least that’s what I assume. Obviously, she didn’t have her mother’s permission. She’s demanding a refund and I have to get my manager.
Unbelievably he takes HER side and reprimands me, telling me I can’t just go giving kids ice cream without their parents present.
He told me the money could’ve been stolen or the kid could’ve been a runaway, so I should’ve been more suspicious/cautious I guess?
Now, if the kid was noticeably like 5 years old and had no money and could barely hold a conversation, I’d understand that, but this was NOT the case. My manager really reamed me out for it and I’m just so confused. AITJ here?
I thought this sort of stuff was normal but this is my first food service gig so I could be wrong.”
24. AITJ For Cutting Our Family Trip Short?
“My (31 M) wife (30 F) and I went to Disney World with my family. They live in England, so these trips are the only time I spend with them. I moved to the US with my mom when I was 10, and my sister Stacey (39 F) stayed with our dad. We don’t stay in contact outside of occasional social media messages.
The entire time we were there, my family kept ditching us, going to places we had discussed we were all going to, and then coming back to tell us they wished we’d been there. My wife was hurt by this because she wanted to spend time with her sister-in-law, especially since she’s pregnant and can’t go on many rides.
She spent a lot of time alone so I could go on rides with our daughter (5 F).
One night, Stacey went upstairs to take a bath. Shortly after, the ceiling in our Airbnb started leaking, and the fire alarm went off. The owners had left a binder of essential numbers, so I went to go find it, while my wife and brother-in-law tried to turn off the alarm.
My mother and father sat on the couch, playing on their phones.
The alarm set the kids off. My daughter doesn’t like loud noises, so she was screaming, and I couldn’t hear anything. I yelled, ‘CAN ALL OF THE KIDS SHUT UP?’ not in a mean way, just in an ‘I need less noise to talk to the only two people trying to help’.
I guess there could’ve been a better way to go about it, but at the time, it was all I had.
All of sudden, Stacey came storming down the stairs in just a towel and screamed at me. ‘YOU DO NOT TALK TO MY CHILDREN THAT WAY! YOU WILL NOT TALK TO THEM THAT WAY!’
We got into it. But it all came to a halt when she shouted, ‘I WILL BE SO HAPPY THE DAY YOUR WIFE FINALLY LEAVES YOU!’
No one defended me, except my wife, who told her that that was absolutely uncalled for. Stacey ignored her. My parents stayed on their phones, the kids were outside, and my brother-in-law was cracking open a beer.
No one else said a word.
I left the room to calm down and called my therapist, but the damage had already been done. I felt sick that my parents wouldn’t say a word in my defense. I asked my wife to help me pack our bags.
We went to a hotel that night. My sister sent me countless messages telling me I was playing the victim and needed to ‘man up’ and face her instead of running like a coward.
I didn’t want to get into it with anyone. I didn’t want to see them again. This trip really opened my eyes to how little they actually valued me.
My wife and I cut our trip short. We spent the night in a Disney hotel (to try to enjoy our time left), the whole time being berated by my sister – demanding I meet with her alone to ‘face it’; telling my wife she was rude for not letting our daughter say goodbye – and my mother saying to just come back and that she had ‘spoken to Stacey’.
Honestly, I feel like I don’t have a sister at this point, but the constant messages telling me I play the victim has me wondering. AITJ for leaving the family vacation like that?”
23. AITJ For Being Mad At My Sister For Giving Jewelry To My Nephew's Significant Other?
“I’m in my 50s, F, single, no children, one niece, and a few nephews. Some of the family live overseas. I had pierced ears, but they closed up so I had loads of earrings I no longer wore.
I was sorting out my jewelry and decided to send some over to my niece – all the earrings, bracelets, pendants, etc. Most of it was fine jewelry – gold, white gold, some platinum, proper gemstones, etc so I got it insured and couriered it overseas. My niece lives in rented accommodation, so I posted it to her parents’ house for safety: we had sorted this out before posting so she was expecting it.
When it arrived, my sister (niece’s mother) opened the parcel, although it wasn’t addressed to her, and looked through the items. She removed a couple of the bangles and bracelets, pendants, and several pairs of earrings and gave them to my nephew’s significant other. I only found out when my niece phoned me to thank me and I asked her what she thought of a particular bracelet, and that confused her because she hadn’t seen it.
My sister’s excuse was that she was trying to welcome her son’s SO into the family and that I was always sending stuff over for my niece and nephews and it would have been nice to send some gifts to the girl as well. This is a girl I’d never met and never spoken to, and at the time, my nephew had been seeing her for a year (also, they broke up about 6 months after the jewelry was given to her so it wasn’t a long-term relationship).
I was angry at my sister and we had words over this – I said if I’d wanted the girl to have the jewelry I’d have said so, this was expensive stuff, some of which was sentimental to me and I’d deliberately gifted it to my niece. My sister thought I was being very unfair and I should have shared it with my nephews as well instead of giving it all to my niece, and she claimed I was wrong in excluding my nephews like this.
She argued that they could have done with the money – meaning they could have sold their share of the jewelry and bought something they wanted, or I should have gifted them money of the same value as the jewelry. I know my niece has no intention of selling the jewelry and is wearing it, so it’s not like she’s been given a lump sum of money to play with.
My friend thinks I was a jerk for not giving them equal shares or equivalents and favoring my niece over my nephews, and maybe a bit of a jerk for getting annoyed about the girl being given part of it, because my sister was just doing what she thought was right. I’m still annoyed by it when I think about it – my sister refused point-blank to ask for it back so my niece could have it, and my niece didn’t feel it was appropriate for her to ask for it back.”
22. AITJ For Not Wanting My Ex-Stepson To Come To My Son's Birthday?
“My ex-wife’s stepson Morgan (23 m) always had problems since we got together. She divorced her husband then a year later we started seeing each other. Morgan was 15 and decided I’m (36 M) the enemy for being with his mom. She told me he always had behavioral issues since he was younger so she had him in therapy.
He was in counseling for a while again after the divorce. But his behavior was always the same. When we moved in together things got worse.
He constantly broke my things and hers too, yelled at us, and refused to listen to anything his mom said.
It was so hectic. Her ex encouraged this whenever he stayed with us so that only made it worse and she had to take him to court once for parental alienation.
It put a strain on our relationship until things improved after he moved out. After that, he didn’t have much contact with her. He fell into some financial trouble so he wanted to move in with us for a while again. She was going to let him too but I said there’s no way that can happen.
She convinced me to at least give it a chance since it’s been a few years and he might’ve changed. My hunch was right. He took my car out once without telling either of us and crashed it. I had him arrested for that. we ended up getting into a huge fight. Finally, I told her it’s not going to work anymore.
So we separated.
Shortly after that, she found out she was pregnant with our son which should’ve been the happiest time in our life. Instead, we divorced. When my son was 6 months she was in an accident and sadly passed away. It was definitely a very difficult time.
After that, I moved closer to my family in the country and haven’t had any contact at all with Morgan or her side of the family.
Aside from her brother and his kids. A month ago we celebrated my son’s birthday. It was my family, my significant other, my son’s uncle on his mom’s side plus his cousins.
My ex’s brother asked a few days prior if Morgan was allowed to go too. But I told him no. Morgan had a huge fit about it.
He asked me to let him see his brother as it’s one of the connections he has to his mom. No doubt it’s been a hard time for him losing his mom but having him around my son with all the trouble he’s caused was the last thing I’d ever want.
It’s been over a month since my son’s birthday yet he hasn’t let this go. I had to block his number after he asked for the 8th time to please be allowed to see his brother. My ex’s brother understands how much trouble Morgan is but urges me to give him a chance.
The thing is I’ve already given that chance and it spelled the end to my marriage. He’s not someone I want around my son yet I’m being called extremely insensitive for not understanding a boy grieving his mother who just wants to meet his sibling.
The only one in support is my SO and my family.
But obviously, there’s some bias there so I wanna know what others think because I really don’t see how I am wrong here.”
21. AITJ For Demanding My Brother-In-Law To Give Me A Refund Before I Give Him His Website?
“A few months ago, my brother-in-law (Dave) and his business partner opened a pizza place. I was really happy for them and went to their grand opening. A few weeks after the grand opening, Dave asked me if I could create a website for their business.
He said that Mike had some connections with a few web design companies, but they were charging too much.
Dave asked if I could do it for free since I’m family.
I previously had created a couple of blogs and knew my way around WordPress, but only with themes and plugins, not a custom-built website. I said that I would do it for free but it would cost them the domain and hosting fees, which they agreed to.
I bought the domain, hosting, and a premium theme with my own money since they said that they’d refund me later. I talked with them before buying anything, and they said it was fine.
In total, I’ve spent around $250 on their website (domains, hosting, premium theme/plugins) and countless hours working on it. The website turned out great and they were really happy with it, but no thank you or what’s the total cost or even a free pizza.
I’m not too bothered by it since I know that they’re happy with the website, and it’s doing well for their business.
After about 2 months, in which they ghosted me and never talked to me about the website, Dave asked me to transfer the domain and hosting to his name because they sold the business (he got in a fight with his business partner).
I learned from his business partner that Dave wanted to charge the new owners an extra $1000 for the website and social media accounts.
I told him no because I paid for it and didn’t want just to give it away, and he should at least refund me for what I paid in the first place.
He started getting angry, saying that it was just a website and that I’m being selfish, and that this isn’t how family treats each other.
Now even his friends and some relatives started chiming in, telling me that I was being unreasonable and just wanted to take advantage of him. For the past 2 days, they’ve been calling me non-stop, trying to guilt-trip me into giving him the website for free.
My wife is also getting involved now, telling me that I should just give them the website and just take the loss, but I think it’s a matter of principle now. I don’t think it’s right for them to just take the website without at least refunding me, especially since I put so much time and money into it.
This morning Dave finally said that he’d refund me the $250 if I gave him the website, but I refused because of all the embarrassing things he put me through the past few days.
At this moment, I would prefer just to delete the website and be done with it or give the website for free to the current owner, but I know it will only make things worse.
AITJ for not just giving Dave the website?”
20. AITJ For Being Angry At My Husband For Not Giving Me A Mother's Day Gift?
“I lost my son at the age of 7 a few months ago due to illness. my husband is his stepdad. Grief is still pretty much raw for me but I make sure I don’t bother others with my ‘burden’. Although my husband has been saying that I’ve become lazy and neglectful towards home chores, work, etc. he’s partially right but those who have been in my place know how hard it is just to get out of bed these days.
This is my first Mother’s Day without my son. The hurt is at its highest. I went out for a walk and came home to find that a lot of family and close friends sent gifts to me to cheer me up. Some gifts were like momentos which really touched me hard. My husband came home an hour ago and excitedly showed him what everyone sent for me for mothers’ day.
He made a face and said that that was nice. I noticed that he didn’t bring anything but I asked just to make sure. He told me he intended to not bring a Mother’s Day gift, I asked why and he said didn’t feel like I should hear it but I insisted. He nonchalantly told me that it was because he thought I’m no longer a mother.
I was baffled by this response I blew up on him but he told me he meant this ‘technically’. I asked if he thought that I can no longer call myself a mother just because my son passed. He said no but what he meant to say is that these circumstances are different and refused to expand on his argument.
I started a big fight with him about it and he went upstairs after saying that I was lashing out at him for no reason and that I should control my temper and has been staying there so far.
I don’t know if I went too far here but it seems like I did because he’s so upset and refusing to come downstairs and speak to me.
AITJ?”
19. AITJ For Wanting My Wife To Pay Me For Baking For Her?
“My wife (F 30) and I (M 29) have been married for 5 years. We have 2 kids together (F 3, F 1). As you can imagine things are quite hectic. My wife has a really good job and family wealth allowing me to quit work and be a stay-at-home dad. Honestly, it is the most rewarding job there is. When I do get time during the day to do some side work related to my field.
Working from home when I want so it works really well.
Anyway, over time I have become more interested in baking. My sister-in-law (F 26) introduced me to the hobby and we bake together as and when we can while watching the kids. (In order to help each other and have the cousins bond we usually jointly co-parent at each others’ houses).
Anyway, we recently got into baking really fancy stuff like Kransekake (a Scandinavian cake made out of eighteen delicate almond cookie rings) (and we make them fancy). My wife and SIL both love them and so they started sharing it with colleagues and friends. Now my wife wants my SIL and I to bake them and other fancier stuff on the regular-ish.
My SIL is really happy to take it on and so am I as long as the kids come first (My SIL is confident we can manage though she also is an optimist). However, it would also mean quitting any and all part-time work on my end. As a result, I would lose my own revenue.
Since we are kinda doing things more than just for the family, it is only fair that we get compensated for it.
I brought this up to my wife and she laughed. When she realized I was not joking she got mad. She said that she is already providing everything and that I have no need for my own money anyway.
She said that I need to prioritize her career and professional goals over mine since she is the breadwinner. Besides, she assured me that she is confident I can catch up in my field later on when the kids are older and I can return to work. I told my SIL the next day (i.e. today) and while she wasn’t mad she felt I was being insane by wanting to charge my wife.”
18. AITJ For Being Mad At My Dad For Being Cheap?
“I am a high school senior and was fortunate enough to be able to choose between 3 schools: Boston University, Tufts, and UMASS Lowell. My top choice is BU but it’s about $16k a year (before outside scholarships).
Tufts was about $27k a year so I just eliminated it from my list after my acceptance. UMASS Lowell gave me a full ride but I already live there and so I don’t really want to go to school with the same people who I went to high school with. I also rather not live with my parents for another 4 years.
Anyways, I tried to commit and get all the paperwork done before May so that I knew I didn’t have to do anything outside of my semester payments. But my parents are required for some of the required documents and information so I needed their help.
They took their sweet time and waited until April 30th to do it all and were complaining about the financial aspect of college.
Specifically my dad. My dad keeps saying BU is too expensive because I have 3 other siblings and one of them will be going to college the year after me. He keeps trying to guilt trip me to go to UML instead to save funds for my siblings.
$16k for BU is an estimate assuming I dorm alone in a normal with their unlimited meal plan.
Realistically it’s like $13k. In addition, I likely have outside scholarships for sports and academics. I also plan to work a bit during school so realistically it should be around $10k or less for me to go to BU.
Whenever I try to explain this to him he keeps saying ‘wE hAvE tO aSsUmE tHe wOrSt cAsE sCeNaRiO’.
And the worst-case scenario is $16k but both he and my mother make over $100k and have no debt and I’m also helping to pay. I feel like he is being cheap to some degree but I also feel like that if I go to Boston that there will be nobody to do things around the house.
This is because my younger siblings are quite lazy and I usually am the one who cleans and does yard work on top of sports and other clubs.
Regardless, I really do not appreciate his very non-supportive and nonchalant attitude toward this issue. Especially the financial part. The financial aid we got was quite generous for our affluent lifestyle but he had numerous opportunities to appeal and to get counseling for it but he refused to do so.
It is annoying and I really wish he would be able to suck up his pride once in a while.
Edit: They won’t let me take out loans in my own name. I’m not mad that my parents want me to be less of a financial burden on them. I’m mad because they are saying BU is expensive but refused to appeal for more aid or try anything to potentially reduce the cost. And when I refer to my dad as being ‘cheap’ I’m not saying that bc he won’t refuse to pay; it’s because he’s being petty abt asking for financial assistance while also saying it’s expensive.”
17. WIBTJ If I Leave A Negative Review For My Therapist?
“Last month, I had two meetings with a new therapist. The first meeting was okay because it was just introductory so she just asked me a standardized set of questions.
During the second meeting (which was an hour long), she opened up the meeting by making a ‘joke’ about something that I have been struggling with. I brushed it off even though it rubbed me the wrong way and hurt my feelings a little bit. After that, she asked me how I was doing and I said that I was doing a little better than I was after our first meeting.
For the entirety of the next 45 minutes, she proceeded to reminisce on how much fun she had in college. I currently go to school at the school that she went to 20 years ago. She told me in-depth descriptions of the parking deck that she used to park in and she told me all about how she didn’t get into the master’s program that she applied for.
She was talking so much that I couldn’t even get a word in.
Also at some point during the meeting, she told me that she doesn’t like her job. I understand that it is fine for her to dislike her job, but when her job is literally just to talk to me, it is weird for her to tell me that she dislikes it.
She closed the meeting by asking ‘So are you still interested in working on ____ in future meetings?’ in response to how at the beginning of the meeting I said that I had been doing slightly better. That upset me because the entire reason that I went to the meeting was to get help for ___.
After the meeting ended, I was very upset because she wasted my time and money and made me feel much more hopeless about my mental health. I want to leave her a negative review so that other people can avoid this experience, but I do not want to hurt her business or financial situation because I’m sure she’s a nice person.
What should I do? It’s been a month and I’m still upset about what happened.”
16. AITJ For Not Wanting My Brother For Join Us For Dinner?
“I (17 m) have a fraternal twin brother who is autistic and has severe intellectual disabilities. He doesn’t really have any friends and he spends almost all of his time just on his computer. I try to get him to do things with me by inviting him to do things with me and some friends every once in a while, but he always says that he doesn’t want to go.
Last week was prom. I was going with friends, we had plans to go to dinner at a nice restaurant beforehand and then prom afterward. We made the reservation for dinner about a week prior and everything was looking good.
My mom had told me that my brother wanted to go to prom and that I was supposed to drive him there and back, which was fine.
The morning of the prom I let my brother know that I was going to go to dinner with friends at 5:30 pm and that I would be back to pick him up at 7 pm. He was totally cool with that.
My mom, without even asking me, later convinced my brother that he wanted to go to dinner with my friends and me, and she told me that he was going about 2 hours before the reservation.
I told her that I wasn’t going to bring him because we already made the reservation and he makes some of the people I was going with uncomfortable.
For context, we’ll call the friend who he makes uncomfortable Kate (17 f). Kate suffered severe mistreatment and physical violence from her father up until her sophomore year of high school until CPS got involved and she was able to move out.
Of course, being my friend, she would come over to my house sometimes. But whenever she would come over, my brother would make very inappropriate comments to her while he wore almost nothing. She and I have talked to him several times about how it’s inappropriate and makes her feel very uncomfortable. He would never stop, and despite talking to my mom about it several times, he kept doing it and my mom would push it off by saying that ‘he doesn’t understand what he is doing.’ My brother has the capability to understand what he was doing, but my mom has babied him his entire life and he knows that he can get away with it.
So after a while, Kate would just stop coming over and we would find other places to hang out.
Once I explained to my mom why Kate and I didn’t want him coming to dinner, she went on saying stuff like ‘Well, Kate is going into the military and she is going to get hurt there so she needs to just deal with it’ and many other absolutely horrible things.
It turned into a huge argument and I explained that they can’t just tell me last minute at the last minute when they want my brother to join in on plans that I have already made. I make an effort to try and invite him to things with some of my other friends, but I will never force Kate to be around someone who makes her that uncomfortable.
I refused to take him to dinner but I still took him to the prom, where my mom was texting me all night and berating me for not wanting to be with him every single second of the night.
AITJ?”
15. AITJ For Taking My Baby And Walking Out Of My Mother-In-Law's House?
“I’ve never gotten along with my MIL. The rest of my wife’s family are fine with me, I go out for drinks occasionally with my BIL and golf with my FIL.
Me and my wife were more than comfortable financially however we were struggling to have a child. My MIL constantly made comments at family dinners about how ‘(I) probably isn’t fertile.’ These comments annoyed me however I stayed quiet in respect for my wife & her family.
After a couple of months, my wife became pregnant and my MIL was ecstatic.
She was finally going to have a grandchild.
However, my wife had a miscarriage. The entire family had come over. Me and my wife were more than heartbroken but my MIL made more comments like, ‘He couldn’t even take care of his pregnant wife. What kind of husband is he?’
Eventually, she got pregnant again.
However this time there wasn’t a day where my MIL wasn’t in my and my wife’s house when I got back from work. She was very involved in the pregnancy but I didn’t mind as my wife was clearly happy.
When the baby was two years old, my wife got diagnosed with cancer, and at the next family reunion, my MIL was adamant about the baby moving in with her temporarily whilst she was recovering.
I’m an accountant so I made it clear that I could just work from home and cut down hours so that I could take care of the baby and my wife.
She disagreed with me and said that it didn’t matter if I could stay with the baby because I could’ve stayed with my wife during the first pregnancy and kept that baby alive.
That event occurred about three years ago and the entire family told her not to bring that up.
My wife told her that it was reasonable to let her take care of the child because I would be working and she would either be in pain or in need of rest. I disagreed and said that I would take care of the baby.
The dinner was at my MIL’s house so she literally stood up and kicked me out. I was in shock however I stood up and went to take the baby.
My MIL told me that I couldn’t take the baby which did make me laugh a little in the moment. My wife agreed with my MIL and told me to leave the baby.
I was disgusted that she was siding with her mother instead of me.
I ended up taking the baby and walking out of the door before getting in the car and going home.
My wife never came home that day but I understood why. However, she didn’t answer my calls, or texts, or come home for weeks.
I eventually received divorce papers and I was shocked that she was asking for full custody and a large sum of money.
I am still close with her brother and father who both don’t want to get involved in the feud. I still stand by the fact that I didn’t give the baby to her to take care of however many others seem to think so.
AITJ?”
14. AITJ For Making A Scene At Dinner With My Dad's New Partner?
“My dad and stepmom are currently going through a divorce. They were together for 22 years and my stepmom and I are still very close, I basically consider her my mom.
My dad just started going out with a woman, we’ll call her Tess. She was an old high school flame who was also divorced with two kids.
My stepmom told me how Tess went through my dad’s phone, got her number, and repeatedly called and texted her one night because my stepmom sent my dad a funny TikTok… so that was red flag #1.
My dad also told me they got into an argument because she overheard people laughing at something my dad said while she was on the phone with him. Red flag #2.
My dad is a very stern guy and does not put up with jealousy, especially when it’s between the mother of his child (my half-sister) and his partner of 22 years.
So my dad, Tess, my little sister, Marie (15 F), her best friend, myself, and my partner (28 M) all meet up for lunch. My partner and I arrived last and say our hellos.
My partner and I ended up sitting on the same side of the table as Tess, me directly next to her.
Almost immediately she starts asking if I wanted to see pics of her boys and before I could even answer she was pulling out her phone.
This is where it got weird. She opens her texts and goes to the conversation between her and my dad, which I thought was odd she didn’t go to her photos but whatever. She has her phone right in front of my face and is scrolling through texts with my dad, which is making me slightly uncomfortable so I keep glancing away.
She’s DEEP in their text thread by now and I look over and BOOM. A picture of a male reproductive organ.
My DAD’S picture. I lost my mind.
She then (finally) finds the pic of her son and is shoving her phone in my face while I’m putting my hand over the screen saying ‘OP, it’s just my son!’
Like I didn’t just see my own father’s ‘thing’.
She tries denying that I saw what I saw saying ‘It’s not what you think’ so I told her, ‘I’ve seen a male reproductive organ before. Whatever you and my dad do is y’all’s business but get your phone out of my face’ or something like that.
I blacked out from rage and horror.
Even my dad, who was just hysterically laughing (out of nerves probably) was like ‘Well, it might be’.
I knew I had to sit through the rest of lunch so I tried to recover so that everyone wasn’t uncomfortable but the tension was obviously thick.
Now a part of me is thinking she did it on purpose because who goes to their private texts for pictures of HER kids?
Another part of me feels like maybe I overreacted.
AITJ for losing my mind in the middle of a restaurant on my dad’s new partner?”
13. WIBTJ If I Quit My Nanny Job?
“I’ve been a full-time live-in nanny for the same family for 3 years. The kids are 10, 8, 6, 13 months. The husband works a lot of hours in a high-powered finance job, the wife was a stay-at-home mom. Their arrangement was that she did all the household management stuff so that when he was home he could focus on the kids.
So this man could change a diaper in the middle of the night like a pro but has absolutely no idea how much diapers cost or what brand the baby prefers or how often they need to be bought. As far as he’s concerned, the basket by the crib just magically refills.
Unfortunately, the wife passed away unexpectedly in December.
Obviously, the entire family is devastated but this man is particularly adrift. And because capitalism sucks, his company is giving him some sort of forced unpaid vacation/demotion because how dare he not be contributing to shareholder value immediately after the death of his wife. He’s cut back his hours but work is clearly a severe stressor.
So between work and grief and 4 kids, this man is O V E R W H E L M E D.
I feel incredibly bad for him, but on the other hand, my job has gotten 5x harder.
First of all, all of the kids are basically high-needs in their own way right now. Super clingy.
Lots of therapists and ‘developmentally appropriate outbursts’ and special books. They are all struggling A LOT.
Second of all, this man knows nothing about anything outside the narrow care of his children and is putting a lot more responsibilities on me than I’ve had before. For example, with the diaper thing, I had to let him know what brand and type to buy and now part of my job is getting more diapers out of the closet downstairs and warning him when we’re running low.
This sounds like a small thing but imagine that but for everything. He doesn’t know where stuff is, doesn’t know how to get in touch with the right person at the kids’ school, etc. And the kids know it too, they get frustrated at times because he (or sometimes I) don’t know how to do something like mom did which is heartbreaking.
The mom and I would sort of tag team, so between that and school, a lot of the time I wasn’t actually responsible for all 4 kids. Not so now. The therapist has also advocated keeping the older three busy which I think is correct advice but means I’m running around between extracurriculars and trying to keep them busy all the time.
And like before I could go to the mom and be like hey 10 has something that starts at 1:30, 8 has something starting at 2, do you want to tag team or get a carpool going? Now it’s on me to figure out carpools and stuff because this man doesn’t really know his kids’ friends’ parents and doesn’t have the mental capacity to build those relationships right now.
And again I’m living in their house, so even on my days off I’m getting texts from him asking about various things, though you can tell he feels guilty about it. And though they had mostly trained the kids not to come to my room for something on my days off, their emotional trauma had made them regress on a lot of things and it’s hard to turn them away.
They’ve even gotten upset if I’m not home.
I was already well-paid but he increased my pay by 50%, prob because he’s afraid I’ll get burnt out and quit. But at this point, it’s not about the money I’m just exhausted and feel like I need to protect my mental health. But I also feel like I can’t abandon these poor kids and their poor dad.
From what I’ve seen of his family, they’re actually toxic and wouldn’t be helpful. I suggested to the dad that he hire more help but he’s so overwhelmed he doesn’t even have the energy to get the ball rolling there.”
12. AITJ For Being Upset When I Didn't Get My Uber Eats Order?
“I (22 F) am a uni student & was looking forward to ordering Uber Eats as I don’t get to use it often. I ordered bubble tea & Mexican.
My Mexican food arrived where I asked to meet.
5 mins later I get a notification that my other order had arrived. I was standing outside the building where I told the drivers to meet.
So when I couldn’t see him, I decided to call the driver. He didn’t answer.
I called him more & more times with no answer & even left him multiple messages.
As time went on I was getting more frustrated & upset by the situation.
In my voice messages that I had left him, I said, ‘I don’t want to give you a bad review or anything so could you please call me back.’
I know delivery drivers don’t get a huge amount as I was a driver myself.
You rely on tips & good reviews etc. With that, I knew it wasn’t ok to just leave my food somewhere & not hand it to the customer directly.
He sent me a picture and that was it. Once he pressed delivered it was hard to contact him directly & he wasn’t answering the calls.
He never called me to say he was here & having issues finding me or anything. In my order I gave directions on where to meet and that I will be outside to get the items.
By the time it got to 8 phone calls & me searching everywhere outside I realized there was nothing left for me to do but to ask for a refund & give a bad review.
At this point, I was exhausted & upset.
I was sad that the one thing I had been looking forward to all day never came.
So I went to post in my uni group & told my experience. Wondering if anyone also had any information about where my drinks were as I suspected they were stolen.
I also posted the driver’s name, wondering if anyone knew him & could get him to contact me.
I got a lot of hate saying I have no sympathy for the driver, that I was in the wrong, & that I was looking for attention.
I had like 2/3 people say that the driver was in the wrong but the rest blamed me.
I did even state I used to be a driver myself but they didn’t care. I later updated the post saying the money had been re-funded by Uber Eats.
People seemed to think I was dumb to be upset I didn’t get my order. But I was upset at the time too because I thought I had lost $27 & I had no idea how long Uber would take to re-fund me for my order.
I don’t have much money so $30 is a lot to me.
The post was up for 20-30mins before I took it down, however, now someone has re-posted it allowing more people to make fun of me. Yeah, there are a few who have stood up for me, but mostly men in particular have made fun of me & the situation.
It’s making me feel dumb & no longer safe to post in the uni group if I need to in the future. Losing nearly $30 to them seems like a joke & that I am overly ‘privileged’ to even complain about my situation & experience. I admit I was really upset when it first happened & was hoping I was maybe able to find my order in some way or another.
So AITJ?”
11. AITJ For Naming My Newborn Babies?
“I (f 23) recently had twins about 7 weeks ago. I and their dad were engaged, planning on getting married, and did plan the pregnancy. He was the one who had really pushed the idea and convinced me, so when he decided to up and leave when I was about 14 weeks pregnant, it sucked. During my pregnancy, we had minimal contact, mainly around custody and the few requests for updates about the pregnancy.
Surprisingly, he did fight for custody – to have 0%. He’ll have visitation and parental rights but that’s it.
The last time we talked before the babies were born, it was 3 days before my c-section. This was planned and he was aware of the date/location etc. The babies were in the NICU for 2 weeks and during this time he didn’t text or visit.
Obviously, you need to name your kids and so I ended up choosing them myself since we hadn’t gotten to that stage. I also gave them my last name since I’ll be the one to do appointments, etc, and raise them. From his lack of interest throughout pregnancy, I didn’t think he cared.
3 weeks after they were born and I’d taken them home, he rocks up.
He asks what I named them and when I tell him, he said they don’t look like their names and the names are ‘stuck up’ names. He then says their names and his last name, but I corrected him and told him they’d taken my surname. He got mad and it became a tense situation.
He demanded I change their names, I said no. He told me to combine our last names, I said no. I told him a parent that fights for 0% custody of their kids doesn’t show much concern or care about said kid, especially since there are no physical/mental etc reasons to not be able to parent.
He told me I was unreasonable and unhinged, I told him that paying child support was the bare minimum and if he wanted a say in their names, he should’ve shown up/called when they were born and not waited 3 weeks to even ask what their own kids names were. AITJ?”
10. AITJ For Telling My Sister She Will Be An Awful Mother?
“My (17 F) sister (Veronica, 19 F) accidentally got pregnant. I think having a little niece or nephew would be nice but whatever Veronica wants to do is fine by me.
She decided to keep it and my parents are beyond ecstatic. Veronica and I aren’t close, she was barely home growing up and my parents both left for work at 6 am and got back just in time for dinner. I basically raised my little siblings (K, 11 M) (M, 14 F )and (C, 13F). I and my little siblings are really close and spend most of our time together but Veronica always relied on friends.
Veronica tries her best to disturb peace in the family, causing fights with my sisters over little things like spraying too much perfume or commenting on their looks, but whenever we fight with her she threatens to abort her child as if we are going to drop to our knees and beg her not to.
My parents protect her in every fight and think she can do no wrong because she is ‘blessing them with their first grandbaby’.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been working hard to buy a gift for C, just an expensive perfume she wants which was about $110, (expensive, I know) but she was really wanting it.
Not even two days into her having it she and Veronica got into a fight over god knows what, Veronica took the perfume and a few of her other belongings and threw them off the balcony. This made me so mad, because not only did I spend so much on that but also that was C’s stuff that she valued. C was crying while M was consoling her.
Veronica was staring at her with a smirk on her face as if she was proud of being a fully grown adult and destroying a teenager’s stuff.
I went absolutely crazy on Veronica essentially telling her to go screw herself. She started saying ‘I dare you to hit me! I’ll get rid of this baby, I don’t care’.
I was confused as this had nothing to do with her kid and I said ‘I don’t care what happens to that thing, you’d be an awful mother anyways’. My parents came to her rescue and told me to either get over myself or move out. So I said ‘Okay’ and went to my significant other’s house.
I’ve been getting calls and texts from my parents and Veronica telling me to come back and talk this out, also saying I’m an awful person for saying this to my poor sister. I feel bad but my SO is telling me that they are treating me like trash and he doesn’t think I should go back there unless I really want to.
So AITJ?”
9. AITJ For Pressing Charges For What My Son's Significant Other Did To His Car?
“My (39 M) son (17 M) Bryce dated our neighbor Lana (17 F) for a year. They broke up mid-Jan for reasons I don’t know. I won’t sugarcoat this, I never liked Lana, she always seems a little unhinged, controlling, and aggressive, she was always demanding Bryce’s attention and there were quite a few times when she showed up at our house out of nowhere (whether it was 7 am or 11 pm) because Bryce wasn’t answering his phone, screaming and calling him a liar when it wasn’t like that.
The thought of our son getting mistreated by his significant other made us worried so much.
My wife and I tried to talk him out of that relationship, we said how that it wasn’t normal nor healthy, we didn’t want to force the break up because we feared Lana would lash out at him so we tried to do it in a sneaky way, we don’t know if it worked but they ended up breaking up.
He said that after he broke up with her Lana didn’t contact him which was weird because he expected her to go nuts but I told him that if fate didn’t give him crap he better not tease it. Now the problem is that we bought my son a car for Christmas, nothing fancy but enough to get him to school, his job, and eventually college, he parks it in our driveway outside our home.
Ever since the month began we had been founding scratches all over the car, we know Lana was doing it but since it was minimal my son decided to not do anything even if we could prove that it was her (we’ve CCTV). Still, something smell bad to me so I decided to switch one of the cameras facing his car directly just in case.
Well, two weeks ago we got up and we found my son’s car covered in a lot of stuff: paint, glue, feathers, and confetti, the door handles were wrecked, flat tires, paint all over the windows, you get the picture, Bryce and my wife were so distraught. We called the police and I handled the CCTV that showed Lana and her brother (23 M) destroying my son’s car.
We pressed charges and needles to say, Lana’s brother went straight to jail, but since she’s still a minor her parents want to make a deal but I refused. I don’t think she should get a way out, before the police were here she was laughing her butt off and she tried to play it cool, if she thought this was funny then she’s old enough to face the consequences.
My wife and I want to stand our ground, they said they’ll buy my son a better car and put Lana in therapy but is not enough. AITJ?”
8. AITJ For Telling My Friend To Stop Treating My Unborn Child As Her Own?
“So I (21 f) recently snapped at my longest close friends for being, in my opinion, way too involved with my unborn child.
She’s 20 years old, let’s call her A. Recently A lost her child a few months before I found out I’m pregnant, I really feel for my friend. Losing a child is hard on anyone and she was super excited to be having a child.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was shocked and excited as it was super unexpected as I and my partner weren’t trying at all.
I told A about my pregnancy as I was really happy and wanted to share the news, I was about 4 weeks. Everything was fine, we spoke about baby things. She was the first of my friends I told. I didn’t wanna tell anyone else until I had my 12-week scan. However, in the weeks leading up to the scan, A became VERY clingy to my child, making plans for a gender reveal (although I and my partner don’t want to know the gender), making plans for me and her to have a baby bump photoshoot and telling me she’s going to be the godmother (she’s not, we’re not having one).
She’s said and done more, I don’t remember them off the top of my head. I have told her multiple times that this isn’t just my child as my partner is very much involved and doesn’t appreciate her inserting herself where he should be as the father.
The other day I snapped at A because I have my gender and anomaly scan at the beginning of April although me and my partner aren’t going to find out the gender, she wants the letter we’ll be getting if we change our minds.
This was my breaking point, this is how our conversation went (basically)
A: Please can I have the letter you’ll be getting for the gender?
Me: I get you’re excited but this is my child, not yours. You’re not going to have the letter, you’re going to have to wait to know after I give birth.
A: Please? It’s eating me up, I wanna know.
Me: No. My partner and I don’t want anyone to know as we’re not going to know. It’ll be unfair if I let you know but not my family. (my partner doesn’t talk to his family)
A: I won’t tell anyone, I won’t even make hints.
Me: No. I’m done talking about this.
A: Fine. But I’ll be there at and after birth.
Me: No you won’t, this is my baby. This isn’t your baby. I can have whoever I want to what me and it will be my partner. After birth, we’re having a few days to chill and work out a routine with our child, we’re not having visitors straight away.
If you want me to have a stress-free pregnancy, please back off and stop talking about my child as if they’re yours.
A: Fine!
She hung up the phone after that.
I feel like a jerk as I know she can become attached to ideas and people very quickly and easily, as well as losing her child recently.
Am I the jerk?”
7. AITJ For Being Mad At My Sister-In-Law For Not Allowing Me To Babysit Her Kids?
“I (23 m) have a sister (20 f) and brother (27 m). My brother has a wife and they have 3 kids, all girls around the ages 2-4 or 3-5.
They never let me babysit them but constantly leave them in my sister’s care. Always. And they never leave me alone in a room with them either or even take them outside.
I asked my brother what was up and he simply shrugged and said it was his wife’s choice and he wasn’t going to argue.
This topic came up again yesterday when we were all at my sister’s house and they were arranging a playdate, then I jokingly brought up in front of SIL why I haven’t been able to babysit them.
She said they just always counted on my sister so I said ‘No no I can watch them if you’d like or even help’. I don’t know how that pushed her but SIL stood up and said ‘Because you’re disgusting and would probably lose track of them’ and then brought up my habit.
I drink at times and admit I’m somewhat of a heavy drinker but I don’t drink around them. This made me mad and I said ‘So (little sister) wouldn’t lose track of them but I would?’ And I saw it as, because she’s a woman she can do ‘woman chores’ better than me, a man.
My siblings looked embarrassed until my brother pointed out I still live with our parents and he doesn’t see me as reliable. I called SIL a sexist and said brother was spineless and sucked at caring for family then I left sisters. My parents are threatening to kick me out and my little sister thinks it’s her fault and is trying to offer me a place to stay.
SIL and brother refuse to speak to me.
AITJ when they clearly were being sexist and bringing up my past and lifestyle against me?”
SIL isn't sexist she stated the truth you drink heavily at times and due to this she doesn't want to leave her babies with you that's HER RIGHT. Poor lil sis feels guilty cos she's trusted with the kids.. but maybe thats got more to do with the factthat she isn't a heavy drinker and SIL and bro trust her ,ore than you. Your parents are threatening to kick out their eldest kid who admits to having a drink issue.. wow about time or check you into rehab.
You are not rhe jerk for wanting to help with the kids but you are for blowing up and calling them all names when all they did was tell the truth they don't want you to help. Maybe if you stopped drinking amd then apologised to them for blowing up and proved to them that you are serious about being the kind of uncle they want for theor kids they MAY let your spend time with the kids
6. AITJ For Buying My Brother A Skateboard?
“I (25) have a little brother, Lucas (13).
I spent a lot of time with Lucas and he kinda became my best friend. We did everything together. The saddest day of my life was telling him that I was going away for college.
Anyways, I don’t really know what happened but my brother started acting up after I moved away. My mom would call me frustrated every day begging me to come back because he was only happy when I’m around.
So I did. I went back there every weekend and hung out with him and his behavior improved (even when I wasn’t around).
His behavior began to spiral again when he got to middle school. I think my being pregnant played a role.
My husband, baby, and I moved really close to them (10 mins walking distance) and well Lucas spends more time at my house than with my mother.
He literally sleeps over at my house every weekend.
My mother told me that she was grateful and even joked about how he should just move in with me full-time.
Anyways, my mom apparently took away Lucas’s skateboard because he talked back to her. I found this ridiculous because he didn’t ‘talk back’, he defended himself after my mom accused him of hiding her partner’s things.
He also told her partner to get lost after the guy kept calling him a spoilt brat.
I was really upset and took Lucas skateboard shopping. My husband is even helping him customize/design it. It’s still a work in progress but my brother’s really excited.
My mother found out about this and called me.
She told me that I can play pretend all I want but I am not his mother and cannot undo her punishments. I told her that I wouldn’t have to play pretend if she stopped worshipping her bully of a partner and actually paid attention to her son.
She implied that I‘m the jerk for going against her wishes and that I’m encouraging my brother’s behavior.
She expects me to apologize and promise that I won’t do this ever again.
I don’t think I’m the jerk because the punishment is, again, ridiculous and my mom is prioritizing her partner’s feelings. But I also understand that I’m not my brother’s mother and I probably shouldn’t have gone behind my mother’s back.
In a way, I am basically telling my brother that our mom’s opinions don’t matter. AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Having A "No-Luxury" Policy For Our Kids?
“My wife (41 F) of four years and I (45 M) have a blended family. She and I both have a daughter from a previous marriage. Her daughter is 8 and my daughter is 7.
I was raised by a dad who made a good salary but blew every dollar he earned. As a result, I have always lived frugally and hate conspicuous consumption with a passion.
Now my wife and I are economically stable- she is a travel nurse and I own a contracting business. We have agreed that we would not raise our kids to be indulgent spenders.
However, a caveat is that my wife and my stepdaughter are attached at the hip- she calls her the love of her life and her muse, as well as her fashion twin.
My wife has recently started her own nursing agency and between that and her summer contract, she is making more than me for the first time. Despite her often arranging for my stepdaughter to travel with her during the summer or visit her office, she also feels a lot of mom guilt.
Therefore she is very susceptible to the dreaded puppy dog eyes.
The puppy dog eyes convinced her to fork out money for membership to a mini golf place that my stepdaughter got bored of after two visits. And it worked today at the mall. We first went to get the kids’ new backpacks and then went across the mall to Bloomingdale’s because my wife was getting interviewed by a local paper and needed something to wear.
When we were there we kind of split up because my stepdaughter squealed ‘Twins!’ and went to help her mom pick out clothes. I found a place to sit down with my daughter because I needed to answer a few emails. I come back to earth because my wife and stepdaughter had disappeared and my daughter said she saw them go down the escalator.
We go down and find them at a jewelry counter. My daughter makes a noise of dismay as she watches them get handed two matching bags.
My daughter asks if she bought something for her stepsister and my wife says ‘No sweetie, it’s just for me.’ However, a look at her stepsister’s face tells my daughter that she’s lying and she starts saying ‘What did you get?
Can I have one please?’ My stepdaughter says ‘It’s called a tennis bracelet and I got it because mom and I twin.’ My wife shushes her and says we should go home now. But my daughter kept repeating ‘Can I have one? I want one.’ She then bursts out into tears. I tell my daughter to come with us, and when she doesn’t I am exasperated and say ‘Stop – you are acting very spoiled. A lot have less than you.’ My daughter then stomps after us.
When I get home I find out the bracelets cost over $2,000 together and expressed dismay to my wife, reminding her of our no-luxury policy for our kids. She says she knows but that it was the happiest she has seen her daughter and she has to go away for business soon and felt guilty. I feel like regardless of my wife’s actions, I need to continue to teach my daughter my values.
AITJ?”
4. AITJ For Being Honest With My Partner?
“I watched a TikTok where a couple asked each other what they would change about each other and they both said nothing, they’re both perfect and they love each other very much, etc. So I thought let me try this with my partner, without filming of course.
She said, ‘I wouldn’t change anything about you, maybe I would make you less anxious about everyday stuff so you wouldn’t suffer’. It’s true, I tend to be very anxious and obsessive-compulsive sometimes but I’m dealing with it.
Then she asked me what I would change about her. I told her I would like her to have her old body back, meaning before 2020 when she was more muscular and a little bit thinner.
Also, I told her she could be less hairy in some areas like her face and arms and I wish her hair was more cared for. I wouldn’t change anything fundamental about her appearance, maybe make her legs a little bit thinner but all my requests are very much achievable with a little effort.
She didn’t seem to appreciate my comments, her expression changed and she locked herself in her room without saying anything.
We slept on different beds and the next day she told me something very hurtful. She said, ‘I don’t think that your appearance is perfect either, there are some issues but I love you enough not to pester you about them.’ When I asked her what she meant she replied that she wished I followed her skincare advice to get rid of my acne and that I would work out with her more.
I told her the difference is that I was honest and she lied. She didn’t say anything but it was obvious that she had been crying the whole night. She went to her sister’s house and hasn’t been responding to my messages.
So am I the jerk for being honest?”
3. AITJ For Being Angry At A Neighbor Who Yelled At My Daughter?
“In the neighborhood, my husband (39) and I (36 F) live in there are many children around the same age and so our kids (5 and 8) have grown up around them and we have all become a close group of parents.
This all happened a few weeks ago when I was home with my 5-year-old. My 8-year-old daughter was over at a neighbor’s house playing with their 2 daughters around the same age. I was in the kitchen when I heard my daughter come in crying. She was extremely distraught and her knees and hands were all skinned up.
I immediately ask her what had happened because she was not supposed to be home yet or have ridden her bike back by then. In the group of parents, we don’t let our kids ride their bikes home if it is just one alone by themselves, and will call the other parent when they want to go home.
My daughter told me the dad had yelled at her and his daughters and it scared her so much she ran out of the house. Because she was crying so hard she ended up falling on the way home as well and getting roughed up.
Apparently, the other girls’ mother had to run out for a bit while their father was working from home.
The girls were hungry and asked the dad for a snack but he was busy and told them to wait until their mother got home. My daughter said because she was very hungry she was going to leave, but the other girls didn’t want her to. My daughter and the 2 girls went into the kitchen and one of the girls climbed on the counter to look through the cabinets and ended up knocking over a ceramic container.
Their dad found them and got extremely angry with all of them and started yelling at the top of his lungs and at one point threw some of the remaining ceramic against the wall. He specifically yelled at my daughter telling her that if she was hungry she needed to leave, and this frightened her so she ran.
When I heard this I was incredibly angry. I understand the girls misbehaved, but as parents, we all have an agreement that we do not discipline children who are not ours. I was also concerned because of his aggressive behavior. I understand he was probably frustrated and stressed from work, but still, the reaction seemed extreme.
I was also very appalled he allowed my daughter to leave so distressed and didn’t even bother to text or notify me or my husband.
Later that night I got a text from the girls’ mother apologizing on her husband’s behalf. She said he had crossed a line and he was very sorry. I told while I appreciated the apology I was still concerned by his behavior and that my husband and I were no longer comfortable with our daughters going over to their house.
This of course eventually spread to the bigger group chat and other parents contacted me over the issue. I explained exactly what had happened and now other parents are also saying they don’t want their kids over at those specific neighbors’ house. My neighbors have since reached out again and accused me of being a ‘mean girl’ and intentionally trying to ostracize their kids from their friends.
AITJ?
2. AITJ For Not Liking My Future Mother-In-Law's Suggested Wedding Dress?
“I (28 F) am set to marry my partner (29 M) and we are currently planning the wedding. He is the youngest of six boys with not a girl in sight so my future MIL is ecstatic about this wedding and as I have no maternal figure in my life she has stepped in to offer that support and even wants to buy me a wedding dress, I tried to refuse this at first as I’d be happy in just a white summer dress and don’t need all the bells and whistles she insisted however and told me how with six boys she’ll never get to go wedding dress shopping, she and my future FIL married when they had no money so they just had a simple court wedding in their Sunday best and I think this is partly why she is so excited as she never got to experience that part herself.
I finally agreed though I planned to pick a dress on the cheaper scale to make myself feel better about this.
So we hit up a few places to look for dresses and we clearly disagreed on styles, as the dresses she kept wanting me to try on are… best described as ‘Princess Puff Monster’, while I would favor a sleeker look.
She got teary-eyed at me in one though and insists I look like a Princess, yeah, Princess Peach maybe… She is now insisting it has to be that one as we won’t find better.
I told her I’d like to hit up one or two more places to be sure before I commit to a dress but I honestly feel bad about this, she is paying and I was going to just wear a summer dress… should I just grin and endure it as it will make her so happy and she IS paying for it… I feel jerkish for not wanting to accept such a generous gift just because it’s not my exact style.”
1. AITJ For Not Wanting My Daughter's Friend To Sleep Over At Our House?
“My (36 f) daughter (6 f) has a friend (6 f) whose mother I have frequently had issues with. MomB (30’s F) and her husband (M 30’s) are ‘what’s yours is mine’ people, and have taught their daughter that mindset.
My daughter has a VERY FRAGILE teddy that her granny gifted her when she was christened. I’ve mended this teddy a hundred times, but it’s still falling apart because my daughter carries it literally everywhere.
She’s super gentle with it and has come up with her own rules that you have to follow to hold and play with the teddy.
My daughter asked to have a play date/sleepover with her friend a few months ago. After talking to her parents I agreed. Turns out the girls fought like cats and dogs over her teddy because the friend didn’t wanna follow the rules and didn’t understand that if she can’t follow them she can’t play.
The friend threw my daughter’s teddy, she called to come home early, next day I guess they sorted it out and were friends once again.
My daughter does not play with the teddy at school, she just puts him in her backpack (as far as I know) because she’s scared other kids will ‘hurt Teddy’ and I’m pretty sure this is the only reason they’re still friends
The girls have wanted to have sleepovers multiple times since, but after talking to her friend’s mother and being told that if my daughter brings her teddy into MomB’s house then MomB’s rules go and my daughter will have to share whether her friend isn’t careful or not, I’ve denied.
She suggested they sleepover at my house, but I’ve seen how her daughter acts at school/on the playground, (picking up toys that aren’t hers and just running off, fighting with other kids over their toys, etc) and I just don’t think she would play with said teddy properly even under my roof.
AITJ for this? I’ve talked to other parents in her class who had the same problem and just hid the toy, but I don’t think my daughter should have to go without the teddy all night for someone else’s behavior.”
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