People Share Their Craziest “You Just Messed With The Wrong Person” Moment

Alexander Krivitskiy

You never know how a stranger will react. It’s not until you actually do or say something disrespectful to someone that you get to see how they respond if they respond at all. More often than not, though, that reaction isn’t too pretty. If you’ve had any sort of verbal scuffle or physical brawl with anyone at some point in your life, you probably know that reality by now!

Although there are people who might feel confident in aggressively confronting someone with the hope that they won’t lash out or physically attack them in response, sometimes they receive an eye-opener when the other person strikes back, something that they never prepared for. That being said, sometimes we’re better off just keeping to ourselves rather than saying that snarky comment or engaging in that risky action.

In the following instances, someone quickly realizes that they messed with the wrong person. From an elderly man whooping a college-aged man’s butt for playing disrespectful music around children (and winning) to a woman kneeing a man for touching her buffet, resulting in his testicles getting tied, these folks have some pretty savage and shocking reactions. If they would have tried the same behaviors around someone else, however, they may not have received such a consequence.
They just so happened to mess with the wrong person at the wrong time! Or from an outsider’s perspective, most of these folks received the most suitable consequence for their behavior – just saying!

41. I May Be A Female, But I Can Still Take Down A Big Dude

Pixabay
Girl power!

“Something that happened to me. Some background first. I am female, at the time of the incident, I was 19, 5″7, about 150 pounds, I was a student, I worked as a waitress, lived off campus with a roommate, paid my own bills and I know how to throw a punch. And this happened in broad daylight.

I had been dating a guy I’ll call Dave. Dave lived in Worcester, MA and I lived about 2 1/2 hours away in CT. We’d been dating for about 2 months. Dave told me he wanted to introduce me to his parents, who lived in another country, but they were coming to Boston. Dave said I could stay with him and his parents in Boston for the weekend and that his parents would pay for my hotel stay, meals, etc. Dave’s parents were rich, he was in school, had his own apartment, his parents paid for everything. He even had his own Amex card, and he was only 21. So I believed him.

I confirmed everything with Dave the night before. He didn’t want me to come to stay with him the night before and ride to Boston with him, he said he had to work on a term paper. This should have been a red flag, but I ignored it. So the day came, I gassed up my car for the long drive to Boston. Since Dave told me his parents would pay for everything, and I was poor,I only brought enough money for gas, parking, and a little extra.

Dave and I had agreed to meet in Boston Common, down by the swan boats, because that was a central area and we could go to the hotel from there. This was 26 years ago, so no GPS, and no cell phones. I arrived at our meet up spot at the time we agreed on, sat down and waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, as I was about to go find a payphone to call the hotel, Dave shows up. He tells me to sit down, he has something to tell me….

He broke up with me. YES, HE BROKE UP WITH ME. I don’t remember what exactly he said, but it ended with a well, I hope you have a nice time in Boston!

I was dumbfounded. I took time off of work (which I did not get paid time off ) , used some of my very little savings for what I thought would be a nice weekend in Boston all to be dumped by a jerk who could have saved me the trouble by just dumping me over the phone the night before.

So he left me there, on the park bench, upset. When I had calmed down, I started to around the park a little to clear my head before driving home. It was a bright clear day out, there were a lot of people out. It was a rather nice day.

All of a sudden, someone grabbed my arm hard and I felt something cold and small in the lower back. A male voice said, ‘Give me your money and jewelry or I will shoot you.’

I didn’t think, I just reacted. I whipped around and punched him in the face. His head snapped back, he let go of my arm, and I punched him in the gut, sending him sprawling on the pavement. Then I literally SAT on him and yelled for help.

The cops came, he was arrested. The look on their faces when they saw me sitting on him was priceless. He was a big dude. Probably a good 3 inches taller than me and at least 250 lb. His eye was swelling shut where I had hit him when they got there, one of the cops asked him if I had done that, and he just muttered yes. The cop let out a laugh and said well looks like you deserved it.

The cops are arrested him, and after I gave a statement, I left to go home.

I got a flat tire on the way home.

It was just not my day. But that mugger definitely picked the wrong girl to mess with that day.” Emily Caravan

40. All He Had To Do Was Pull Out His Business Card

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“This is one of my dad’s many incredible experiences and it’s a bit different from the other stories here.

Years ago, back in the late 70s, my father was doing business and skiing in Italy. Just before he left, he went to a really good restaurant in Rome. My father, ever the great conversationalist, noticed a very distinguished man at the table next to him.

The two of them started chatting about wine and food…then skiing, philosophy, children, family and the history of Italy. My father was a great amateur historian and knew all about Italy and spoke a smattering of Italian. Although he was not Italian, he deeply admired the country. He and the old man,—-who was from Sicily and owned a farm there, it seemed, as well as other “interests”—- stayed up fairly late drinking a wine and grappa, laughing and finally singing together.

The one thing about this very well dressed, little old man, was that the waiters were VERY subservient to him and ignored all the other customers when he snapped his fingers. It also was clear that there was at least one very large fellow sitting at the bar making sure the old man was looked after.

Anyway, when the meal was finally over, my father pulled out his wallet to pay his end of it and the kindly old man laughed, shook his head, and said, “You can put your money away. You are my guest, of course. It has been a magnificent evening!”

My father tried a few times to help pay but the man old man wouldn’t hear of it.

And my father also noticed that no bill came to the table…at all. For either of them.

The waiters seemed to think that it was very amusing that he would offer to pay.

The old man then said this to my father, just before he left. “I want you to take my card. This is my personal card and I only give it to only a few people whom I really like. Now, you are going back to America and I have friends there. If you are ever in trouble with the wrong people there, or you need help, show them this card. It may be useful.”

My father pulled out his own card in exchange and the man just laughed again, highly amused. “Now, you listen. I am being very serious,” he said. “Just keep my card. It may come in handy. You never know.”

The old man found his way out of the restaurant, helped along by bowing waiters and his bodyguard. My father put the card in his wallet and promptly forgot about it….

Fast forward to about a year later. Dad was in New York and had arranged a very nice lunch with his business associates at an extremely well known Italian restaurant in Manhattan. He came early to make sure things were ready only to find that the restaurant had given his table away to a group of very tough looking, well-dressed men. My father was furious and asked why the exact table he wanted, which he had carefully reserved, had been given to these other customers. The table the restaurant wanted to give him was near the bathrooms and much too small, and there was no time to rearrange things and go to a new restaurant. His guests would be there in only a few minutes. The waiters simply said that the men at the table he wanted were regular customers and they were very sorry but there had been a “mix up.” To make matters worse, the table my dad had been given instead was still full and he would have to wait at the bar. My father sat down in a huff, and the bartender offered him a free glass of champagne.

The bartender also said, quietly, “Sir, please don’t complain anymore about this. The men at that table are very powerful here in New York. They are very connected men, if you know what I mean. You don’t want any trouble with them, OK?”

Dad got the message, downed the champagne, and then remembered the business card he had in his wallet. He figured now would be as good as any a time to see if this very tenuous connection to Sicily might help. He showed it to the helpful bartender and said, “Would it help if I was a friend of this man on the card?”

The bartender smiled, and glanced at the card, and then snatched it from him. “Where did you get this?” he demanded. My father told him that he travels to Italy often and this was somebody he admired greatly.

The waiter nodded, pale. He took the card to the manager, and the two of them conferred. Then they brought the card to the table of these menacing men in expensive suits, and it was quietly presented to the leader of the group.

Instantly all the men at that table stood up, sputtering in Italian and Sicilian. The very meek manager pointed over at the bar where my father was sitting, and the men approached him, and asked his name. The top guy made a major show of apologizing profusely, bowing and scraping, and yelling at the manager for making this “monumental f*ck up” and telling him to clear his table for my father and his friends—-he and his associates would take the little table near the bathrooms, no problem at all. And if my father were ever to speak again to the man whose name was on the card, they hoped he would not mention this unfortunate event. Oh, and of course the lunch would be on them, and please take a bottle of wine with it. Take two.

All the men hugged my father and one actually kissed his cheek.

My father greatly enjoyed the lunch with his friends.

I wish I could share the name on the card, but this is the Internet and I’m not a made guy…” Ron Irwin

Another User Comments:

“I love it!! This is one of the many reasons why it always pays to be nice, and chat with strangers.” Beth Richard

39. They Let Them Speak To The Chef… And They Regretted It

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“I was serving in the Reserves (Territorial Army as it was back then) and was getting some breakfast in the mess at Grantham. Some Americans were on the base, and a trio of them was eating, poking around at some black pudding (blood pudding). They weren’t quite sure what it was, so I explained.

They blew their top. ‘It’s pig what? That’s terrible!’ they exclaimed, and one of them stormed off to the counter.
‘I wanna speak to the chef,’ he spouted. The server replied, ‘Are you sure?’ Clearly, he didn’t relish the thought of disturbing the chef. ‘Of course, I’m Godd*mned sure. The chef is trying to poison us with his barbarian food,’ the American spat. The server disappeared into the kitchen, and the American sat down.

Shortly afterward, the chef came storming out of the kitchen.

He was 6 foot 5, built like a brick sh*thouse, and bore a Scots Guards tattoo on his forearm. He spied the Yanks.

Striding over to the table, he growled in the thickest and most menacing Glaswegian accent, ‘Have yee got a problem with me food, pal?’ The Americans all decided to look at their boots.
He put his face inches from the nearest soldier. ‘I said, have YEE got a problem with me FOOD, pal?’ The table all shook their heads and muttered about the weather. The chef turned about and headed back to the kitchen. The 3 Americans all lost their appetites and left the mess.

Breakfast with a slice of humble pie.” Thomas Anderson

38. Don’t Mess With The Quiet Guy

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“I was working as a security guard outside a 24-hour McDonald’s in Australia around 2 am. I was about 21 and a small-framed woman working alone and it was a bit of a rough area so I had to be careful.

A group of 5 or 6 teenage boys turned up and were standing around in the car park trying to pick fights with any guy who looked at them sideways. Mostly men were ignoring them but they were getting bolder and I was beginning to think I was going to have to call the police before things escalated.

Just at that moment a small thin guy exited the building. Everything about him said scared. He held the food bag in front of him like a shield, he was looking at his feet and walking fast trying to avoid any conflict with the boys.

Predictably one of the loudest lads zeroed in on him as an easy target to hassle and impress his friends. He runs over with the usual, “What are you looking at? Are you looking for trouble?” bullsh*t and the small man just sped up. I started to walk over to rescue him, thinking he was about to be beaten up by the group if they were allowed to proceed.

The guy ignored all provocation until the boy laid a hand on him. I have never seen anyone move so fast. The man dropped the bag grabbed the kid by the hair and pulled him backward off his feet in a move he had clearly used before. He proceeded to punch the boy in the face 4 or 5 times til the kid was out on his feet.

There was a moment of shocked silence then the guy gently put the kid down and picked up his meal. He suddenly saw me standing there in uniform completely frozen in shock. The guy had yanked the kid’s head back so hard there were clumps of his hair on the ground.

As soon as he saw me the guy was like a lost kid. He said nearly in tears, “He started it. I just wanted to go home and have my dinner.” I just nodded and said, “OK off you go” because I sure as hell wasn’t going to stop him, and he drove away.

The kid suddenly came round, with a split lip, bloody nose, and a few loose teeth I would think. He was a bit dazed and I asked him if he needed an ambulance or the cops. He said no so I told him and his mates to p*ss off.

I have never seen a beat-down like that. From scared little guy to full psycho and back again in less than a minute. The guy must have been on parole or something because he wanted no piece of that fight before or after.

As for the kids, they learned an important lesson about picking fights with people you don’t know. Sometimes the little guy is not the easy bet. Sometimes people avoid fighting for your protection rather than theirs.

As my grandfather used to say, “Beware the wrath of the quiet man.” Elizabeth Birch

Another User Comments:

“I have been in this position before. I’m a small woman with massive muscle strength. I started taking martial arts in high school.

I was a teen, and coming home from school. Lived in a down turning neighborhood with small crimes, and thugs. Long story short three kids I’d never seen before confronted me.

All I remember is one grabbing my backpack. Next thing I know I’ve slipped of food the backpack, used it as a weapon, sept the feet of the person holding on my arm, punched a guy in the mouth and started laying into his side as he rolled in the ground.

I was in 1/2 heels, skirt and a cardigan sweater.

They took off running. I hadn’t broken a sweat, but I did break someone’s tooth on my bloody knuckles.

Never underestimate the wrath of a small woman!” Sunny Beaches

37. He Ran Over My Elderly Father, So We Sued Him

Austin Neill

“Once upon a time, my parents hired a company to redo their kitchen. They were basically supposed to change the marble countertops. The company was formed by husband, wife and three employees.

They set up the countertops and soon realized a minor part of the marble did not fit exactly. They had to take the small bit that didn’t fit back to their headquarters to redo the work. At that point, my parents had already paid 90% of the price.

One week later they came back without prior notice and gained access to their apartment through the maid, who opened the door to let them finish the job.
My parents were out on an errand.

After the contractors finished their job, the owner called my father on his mobile and told him the job was completed. Since there had been problems with the execution before, my father told the man that he would come back home in about an hour, check the quality of the final touches and promptly pay the remaining 10% of the price.

The man went ape and told my father that payment was due on the spot. My parents interrupted what they were doing and hurried back home. But at this point, the contractor was already mad at them and took out every single bit of marble he had put in place and put it all in his van.

Never mind the fact that, as I said, 90% was already paid for.
Upon arriving home, my father noticed that all the stuff he paid for was in the van and being taken away. He is a man of action and promptly put himself in front of the van to impede its exit. The contractor did not back down and just ran over my father, who was 65 at the time. His bruises were not grave, but he filed a criminal suit against the man.

The problem is that he hired a company, so he didn’t know the contractor’s name. And to file suit against someone, you must indicate his name, of course.

The police weren’t very eager to determine the identity of the perpetrator. And that’s when my parents called me.
I dived into the matter and found out not only his name and address but several lawsuits against this guy and his wife. They took several loans and had not repaid them, they sold real estate and did not deliver, they crossed many people in business deals. In short, they owed a lot of people and banks in consequence of morally doubtful behavior. And they had empty apartments in Copacabana, a very prized area of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

I gave the Police the name of the guy and, on the side, purchased some of the credits against them owned by financial institutions.

I represented my parents in the criminal lawsuit against these people and got them sentenced to jail (the husband) and reparation (the wife). But I also pursued the exaction of the debts I bought and, six years later, I got one of their apartments as repayment of one of the debts.
Now I am still waiting for a judicial decision on the second apartment. It seems I will also take this one. The best part is that I paid only 25 thousand reais to buy the credit and the apartments are worth, together, a little under 1 million reais.

This guy should not have run over my dear father… I bet this is one decision he regrets every day.” Victor Wolszcak

36. I Quickly Realized Punching Him Was A Bad Idea

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“When I was eight, I used to watch old cowboy movies with my mom and somehow I developed the idea that if I punched someone as hard as I could in the jaw, they’d fall.
I was at my friend’s house and his thirteen-year-old brother is hogging the Nintendo playing Metal Gear. We complain, he laughs, and that seems to be the end of it. But I decided to teach this jerk of a villain a lesson. So I pull my fist back and fire one into his jaw.
He stops laughing, turns towards me and levels me with an amazing knock out punch. I fall to the ground and I learn a valuable life lesson: Movies aren’t real. Not even a little bit.

On the plus side, punching me got him grounded and my friend and I got to play Pro Wrestling unimpeded for the rest of the day.” Adjective_J

35. He Got KO-ed By A Woman

Samer Daboul

Never underestimate the power of a woman!

“I was in India with my Swedish friend.
She was a semi-professional handball player at the time, so she was pretty muscular. Now, if you’ve ever been to India with or as a female tourist, your odds of getting inappropriately touched are high.
It was just after a heavy monsoon rain in Goa and we were walking along a dirt path near the beach, right alongside this giant twenty-centimeter deep puddle that basically covered the whole road. She’d been ‘accidentally’ groped twice already that day and had done nothing, but this time was different.

Five or six youngish guys, late teens, maybe early twenties, all in designer jeans, sneakers and baseball hats and so on despite us being at the beach (basically rich kids from Mumbai) were walking along blocking the whole path and literally just grabbing girls as they passed by them.
Then they got to her and one of them just ran his hand up from her waist, across her breast and… She f*cking socked him across the jaw so fast and hard. He just crumpled backward before anyone knew what was happening. Right into the huge mud puddle, in all his designer gear. He splashed around a bit, and we thought his friends were going to kick off but, of course, they all put their heads down and kept walking, terrified as she started shouting at him. He tried to get up, reaching for his hat which was floating nearby, and she puts her foot on his chest and just pushes him back into the puddle, right down, making sure he was completely covered, face and everything.

‘Stay there ’til you can’t see me anymore,’ she said, and we walked off.

I checked back, and he was still lying in the puddle, even though she was fifty meters away or so, just waiting for her to leave.

It was glorious!” Anzai

Another User Comments:

“I’m a big/tall man, and I got groped 3 times while I was in India. The only place that’s ever happened to me.” jefetranquilo

34. He Got Put In A Chokehold After Assaulting A Man In A Wheelchair

Pixabay

“My father and I were at the mall near his place eating at the food court and saw a guy (early 20s) get into an argument with an older man in a wheelchair and the guy took the man’s food out of his hands and threw it on the ground and screamed at him for bumping his table with his wheelchair.

My father calmly stood up, walked over to the guy who is still screaming at the frightened elderly man and put him in a chokehold and dragged him to the balcony area and asked him if he would rather apologize and reimburse the man or if he would enjoy a 25 foot drop, so he can know how hard it is to maneuver a wheelchair in a packed food court.
The man quickly shut up and apologized.” Kanga_Koga

33. Don’t Mess With His Granddaughter

Pixabay

“I was on the road with my grandpa (he was a truck driver) and we had stopped for the night at a truck stop. We go to do our normal thing of showering, eating, playing a game or two then sleeping. If you don’t know, truck stops have separate room showers. I got out of the shower and was waiting outside for my grandpa to finish his. I go look at the glass figurines that most stops have and I wasn’t but 5 feet from the showers. Next thing I know a man grabs my arm and starts dragging me to the door.

I was about 10 at the time, but I looked about 6/7.
Obviously I don’t know this man and I start crying loudly, trying to grab onto something to stop him. Thankfully my grandpa walked out at that moment and heard me screaming bloody murder. He ran (I’ve never seen my grandpa run like that before!) to the guy, who while dragging me, was saying, ‘It’s my daughter, I promise, don’t worry!’

Next thing I know, that man flew to the ground so fast and hard. My grandpa’s hand was covered in blood and more blood sprayed when he was hit. The man looked up at him and yelled that I was his daughter, again.

My grandpa said, ‘I’m the grandfather, care to try again?’ As he got closer.
Cops came as my grandpa was straddling him and was about to beat him to a bloody pulp. Workers of the store backed up my grandpa, showed security footage. There were even bruises on my arms.

If my grandpa had been in the showers another minute, who knows where I’d be or what would have happened to me. I love you grandpa!” pan-orama

32. He Made A $50 Million Company Go Out Of Business

Pixabay

They got what they deserved.

“Most of this I learned second hand as it occurred. When I was younger, my dad bought some oil field royalties (percentage ownerships of what is produced) that gave him check each month for a few hundred bucks.

Well as time goes by the checks begin to dwindle and then stop. At this point, he began to look into the company that operated the oilfield and received a significantly less than satisfactory answer.
At this point, they really should have just given him the checks each month, because at his point he proceeded to look into the company and peel back a metric sh*t-ton of fraud and other deceptions. Over the course of a 7-year litigation case my dad figured out exactly how they were committing fraud, and after working with a few lawyer friends, hit them with the b*tch slap of god in court which removed their operator’s license for oil wells and promptly thereafter they went out of business.

He ruined a $50 million company because they tried to screw him out of a few hundred bucks a month.” LegalGraveRobber
31. He Can Crush A Hand Like No Other

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“We had a vendor who showed up once a week and was a bit of a hand masher. He liked to crush your knuckles while shaking your hand.

The boss had just hired a doughy looking, middle-aged guy for the sales department. I told him to be wary of shaking the vendor’s hand.

A few days later the vendor shows up, puts his hand out to the new guy with a big smile, and goes in for the kill.

At first, everyone is smiling. The new guy is looking at him in the eye while pumping his hand furiously. Then stops.
The smile melts off the vendor’s face.

He had a pained look on his face as his lips pursed together. The vendor yelped a long, ‘Eeeeyah!’ and dropped the new guy’s hand like it was lava.

I pulled the new guy aside and asked how he did that. ‘Ten years, I drove a tow truck. Must have changed thousands of flat tires with just hand tools. Nobody crushes my hand.'” 1Badshot

Another User Comments:

“For anyone reading this, I’ve met a few hand-crushers in my life too.

Easiest trick ever to stop them; When you reach in for handshakes, just point your index finger straight down the inside of their arm. They can’t crush your hand when you do that, or at least not nearly as easily (no one’s ever been able to on me anyway). You don’t even have to keep it super stiff or anything, it’s great, just an instant normal handshake.” graaahh

30. He Hit Him With A Pipe Wrench

Pixabay

That was a close call!

“My dad told me he and his brother were driving down the highway when some guy was tailgating them so they switched lanes and so did he, and after some road rage, they both pulled over. Now my dad and his brother are some pretty big (muscle) Italian guys, so when he told me that the guy who got out of the other car was the biggest man he’s ever seen, then he must have been huge.

Apparently my uncle got into it with the guy and pulled a pipe wrench out of the truck bed and domed him with it. The guy didn’t flinch at all and my dad and his brother jumped into their truck and got out of there quickly.” PopePolarBear
29. He Knocked Him Out With One Hit

Luis Quintero

“Was riding the bus home from school one day. Bunch of a**holes messing around in the back throwing food and other junk. A quiet, overweight kid sat in front of them, minding his own business when one of the a**holes thought it would be funny to shove an old sandwich in his face and call him ‘fat boy.’ Quiet kid stood up and knocked him out in a single hit, then grabbed his bag and walked up to the front of the bus and got off at his stop as if nothing happened.” TFKGreySlate

28. He Never Started A Fight Again

Pixabay

“There was this guy who was part of our group in college.
He was an a*s but he was one of the guys’ brothers so he hung out with us a lot. Whenever he would get drunk he would try to pick fights. We would just shake it off and ignore him.

One of the guys hosted a pretty big NYE party. As it goes, this dude got drunk and tried to pick fights again. People were getting uncomfortable. There was another guy at the party who was about 6’4 and built like a tank who was just not having it. He waited to be confronted and then immediately carried the guy outside and threw him down on a stair and broke his leg.

He stopped picking fights after that.” PhreedomPhighter

27. He Stopped Flipping Off His Manager

Pixabay

“My mom told me this story about my dad about when they were young/newly married.
I don’t think an adult could necessarily get away with this in American-helicopter-parent culture these days, but this happened in the late 70s.
My dad was a restaurant manager and had to fire a high school kid. He lived in the same neighborhood as my parents and would often see my dad when he and his friends were driving to school. They would flip my dad off and yell things at him.
One day, my dad got sick of it all, and drove to their school, found them trying to park, used his car to block them, got out and went up to the kid’s car window and told him, ‘If you ever flip me off again, I’m going to rip that finger off and shove it up your a*s.’

The kid stopped flipping him off.” TommyPimple

26. He Put An End To Domestic Abuse

Pixabay

“When I was 5, my dad took me to Walmart to get something for dinner and I saw a young couple fighting.
This guy started really getting p*ssed off at this girl. He started getting in her face and threatening her and he even yanked her hair a bit and was pushing her. I was really scared. My dad shouted something to the guy, and the guy told my dad to f*ck off.

Next thing I know, I saw my dad run right up to the guy and grab him by his hair shouting, ‘OH, YOU WANNA HIT YOUR LADY? YOU LIKE HITTING YOUR LADY? YOU WANNA HIT SOMEONE YOUR SIZE?’ He beat the hell out of that guy. I don’t remember much else, but cops were called and they didn’t do anything about what my dad did, just took the other guy away.” ProvocativeSkeleton

25. He May Be 6’2″, But Dad Can Still Whoop His Butt

Pixabay

Is it really common for teenage boys to physically fight their fathers? The more you know, I guess.
“I got pretty big in high school fairly quickly. I went from about 5’8″ to 6’2” in a year. I’d always heard that everyone tries to fight their dad once in their teenage years and I was no exception. My dad is about 8 inches shorter than me and we got into an argument about chores or something equally as ridiculous, and I decided to go in for the kill. I shoved him once pretty hard and put my fists up for a brawl.

Before I knew what was happening, I was suspended about a foot off the ground by my throat and was receiving a verbal beating like I had never known.
That was the last time I ever tried to fight my dad.” gcta333

24. My Mom Beat Up Kimmy Gibbler From Full House

Pixabay

I will never view Full House the same way again.

“My mom told me a story when she was in middle school or high school. Well, she went to school with Kimmy Gibbler before she went in to star in Full House.

Now my mother had grown up in the bad part of her hometown and it was either be mean and left alone or be nice and get taken advantage of. So she grew up not taking sh*t from anyone and knowing how to fight.

Like really fight.
So one day Kimmy encounters my mom and starts running her mouth. Bad decision. I believe even a curb-stomping was involved but she didn’t give a lot of details involving the fight. Suffice it to say her ringtone is now the Full House theme song when she calls, and I know very well that my mother brought me into this world, and she is more than capable of taking me out.” INTERNALCARNAGE

23. He Got A Rude Awakening Every Morning

Pixabay

“I had a guy text me because I was hanging out/dating a girl he liked. ‘Yo, you better leave her alone or deal with me.’ So I try calling the guy instantly and texting to ask his name but he won’t answer.

I know who it is but he won’t own up so I devised the perfect plan.
He texts me a few more times just being a pest and hiding behind his phone. So I googled a free online wake-up call service and set a courtesy call for him every day on the hour every hour from 1 am to 6 am for the next 3 weeks straight. Got to hook up with the girl and never heard from him again.” XigZhag

22. My Friend’s Dad Held A Knife To My Face

Pixabay

Talk about scary…

“My best friend is Polish. I was at his house for supper.

His parents are very formal and demanded I dress properly and wash before coming over. His father was covered in tattoos, although he tried to hide them with long-sleeved shirts and ties. This guy was built like a brick-sh*t house.
I may have made a joke about Poland. He invited me to step outside and lifted 15-year-old me up by the scruff of my neck and held a dinner knife to my face. He gave me a lecture about showing respect, then let me go. Turns out he had served in almost every soviet conflict since the 1970s in some kind of light infantry regiment.

21. The Little Guy Blocked And Countered Every Blow

Pixabay

Don’t underestimate a person who’s small in size.

“About 6 years ago I was sitting on the bus on my way to work. Across from me was a small guy maybe 5 feet 8 inches tall and 130 pounds. He was the only other person at the back of the bus. The story starts at the downtown stop where a heavyset guy maybe my height 6 feet tall and 190 pounds, gets on the bus and sits right next to the little fellow.

Now there were plenty of seats like I said. It was just me and the little guy at the back and at this point and with them sitting directly in front of me maybe 3 feet away I had a front-row seat to the following exchange. “Dude, there’s plenty of seats. Why did you sit right next to me?” When big guy spoke I realized he was actually big drunk at 7:30 am guy and he basically told the guy to f*ck off and closed his eyes.

My attention goes back to my phone as neither one said anything and about 2 minutes later, unprompted big drunk at 7:30 am guy gets up and says, “let’s fight” I look up and its too late he’s throwing huge haymakers at this little guy and I kid you not, he blocked and countered every single blow! He wasn’t mighty or big but he was fast and obviously trained.

After about 5 counter shots to the head, the guy went down, all his change and junk in his sweater pockets went flying, one of his shoes came off if I remember correctly. He picked himself up with a bloody nose and crossed the street scowling back at the bus. I learned one thing that day, the obvious moral to the story, but I bet that drunk didn’t learn a thing 🙂

Turns out little guy worked across the street from me. The bus was stopped while the police responded so we walked together the rest of the way. I told him he did the right thing and it was pretty badass. He told me about the martial arts he took and I told him if any legal ramifications came up I would gladly talk to the police and attest to him simply defending himself, but I never heard anything.” Andrew Foster
From that point on, I had immense respect for the man.” marinewannabee97

20. The Bank Stopped Stealing My Money

Nick Pampoukidis

I’d withdrawal all my money from that bank and never come back.

“My father had to go to court with the bank because they were stealing his money. It was a long process but my father won and the bank had to pay for everything (I’m talking about thousands of dollars).
They had to give him all the money, pay for both lawyers and give him some compensation money for all the problems.

When I turned 18, I didn’t know it. He barely told me anything about his life or business, and I went to the same bank and made an account. They did the same to me with 200 dollars. I asked my father if it was normal and if he signed any condition that I didn’t read. He got super mad, we walked together to the bank, and when the director saw us getting in his face changed, I got my money back and letter from the central office of the bank apologizing.” camputhane

19. He Underestimated How Strong She Was

Pixabay

She’s classy but fierce.

“I watched a guy try to steal a girl’s purse.
He ran past her, grabbed onto the strap, and tried to yank it off her arm. She was a lot stronger than he’d anticipated, because she pulled the bag back, and sent him sprawling onto the sidewalk. She then kicked the sh*t out of him, screaming at him the whole time.

As this took place in Montreal, people just watched her beat him up and clapped politely when she was done. She curtseyed to the crowd, spat on him, and walked off.” malackey
Another User Comments:

“Having spent a fair amount of time in Montreal, I can absolutely picture this happening and no one is surprised.
Don’t f*ck with crazy French Canadians. French people yelling in French is cute. Canadians yelling in French is terrifying.” drunkenknight9

18. They Almost Got Away With Dining And Dashing… Until I Found Him On Twitter

Pixabay

“I work at a restaurant and four punks decided to dine and ditch. They ran out and got away but luckily I overhead one of their names while they were eating.
Long story short, I tracked him down on Twitter and the direct messages went like this:
Me: ‘Haha, nice try. We know who you are. You owe us $40. Bring the money or we are reporting you to the police and your school (insert high school name). You have until Sunday night.’

(1 minute later) Punk: ‘I’m terribly sorry for this horrible incident.’ Punk: ‘I’m bringing the money right now.’ Punk: ‘I’m terribly sorry, it wasn’t even my idea. I had no choice but to run also or else I’m in trouble.’ Punk: ‘We left a bag of money.’

15 minutes after I sent the message, a guy literally opened the front door and threw a zip lock bag full of 40 bucks of cash and change into the restaurant and ran away.
Idiots.” sundancee
17. He Wasn’t Expecting Me To Be 6’5″

Pixabay

“I was driving down the road and I was in the middle lane. The right lane was a turn only lane. I drive through an intersection and there is a guy in the right lane slightly ahead of me who decides that he doesn’t want to turn right, so he swerves into my lane. I slam on my brakes and honk my horn. I am actually nice and would have let him in if he signaled, but he just forced his way in almost causing a crash.

At the next light, he gets out of his car to yell at me, and I notice he is not a very big guy at all.
I am a 6’5″ 240 lb guy, so he starts yelling at me and I simply open my door and stand up and say, ‘Go ahead and come and say that to my face.’ He took one look at me and sheepishly went back to his car.” Reddit user
16. My 100 Pound Nana Told Off The Assistant Principal For Laying Hands On Me

Pixabay

She might be tiny, but she sure is tough.

“…What you have to understand about my ‘nana’ is she strived to weigh more than 100 pounds all her life, only weighed 102 pounds when she was pregnant with my mom, but she was relatively tall for a lady, so she looked like a rail! People mistook her size, and later her age, as weakness, but what they didn’t realize is that she had grown up on a 98 acre working farm, had worked alongside share-croppers on the next farm over (she swore her daddy worked for the family harder), had 9 brothers and sisters, and could out eat me any day of the week, she was not a wilting flower!

When I was in school my nana was always the first car in the pick-up line; she never wanted to be late to anything! I was in junior high, probably the middle of 8th grade.
I always had my bookbag ready and rushed out the door when the bell rang because I knew she was waiting. One afternoon, I got to her car and realized that I had left a book in the school, so I turned around and ran back in. When I came out of the side door of the school, I was met by the assistant principal.

He was a big, burly, gruff man and he grabbed my arm (fatal error), so he could fuss at me. I immediately thought, ‘Oh, crap, you’ve screwed up!’ About the time I finished my thought, I heard her car door slam.

I tried to hurry him up because I knew this was about to get ugly! Then, I see a little bony finger with pink fingernail polish come over his shoulder (tap, tap, tap), and these weren’t the kind of taps you use at church; I’m pretty sure she was going for blood!
He spun around there stood my nana standing with her arms folded, foot-tapping, and a look that would give Satan chills. In a fury and missing the obvious clues that were in front of him, he started telling her about my ‘misdeed’ of going back in the building and complaining about her being the first person there and how I should hurry up since she was blocking the pickup lane.

At this point, she put her finger up in his face and said, ‘Shut up, little man!’ He straightened up like he was going to correct her; he didn’t realize that she was just giving him time to pray, ‘YOU put your hands on my grandbaby, her momma, her daddy, her poppy, and me don’t put our hands on her and YOU SURE AS HELL AIN’T… AND another thing, I’ll park where ever and for however long I want to in this school parking lot, and she can go in and out of this building as many times as she wants to, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?????’

This very large man was now trembling and repeating, ‘Yes, ma’am, I do’ in a near-catatonic state.
She looked at me and nodded towards the car. Needless to say, I ran and got in because this was not the first nor the last time I’d seen nana in action. She got in the car, still mumbling under her breath, ‘Just who the hell does he think he is???’

My nana was active right up until the end of her 90 years on this earth…”Autumn Cole

15. They Didn’t Realize He Was Apart Of The Japanese Mafia

Alexander Krivitskiy

You never know who you’re about to mess with until it’s too late!

“My friend whom everyone calls Doc has two PhDs and is a very low-key person, entered a convenience store with me one afternoon. Doc is 57-years-old and average build. He later told me he saw these 2 early 20’s jitterbugs casing him in the store. As we left, we each went to our own vehicle.
He said he saw them following him to his truck. As he went to get in, one pulled a gun from his pocket and said, ‘I’ll take your money.’ Doc’s back was to the guy at this time. He immediately spun around, side kicked the guy and sent him over the curb whereupon he hit his head and was out. We later found out the guy got 3 broken ribs as well.

I saw what happened and asked him, ‘Where did you learn that?’ He said, ‘I’ll tell you later.’ Having to know, I followed him home whereupon he showed me he held 4 black belts in 4 different styles of martial arts.
That wasn’t the best of it as he was always careful for no one to see him shirtless. I always wondered why until this moment.

He pulled back his shirt, he was a Yakuza. These guys definitely picked the wrong guy on this day. The other guy, well, he ran off. Funny thing was, I heard several people harass the kid that he let an older man kick his a**. Doc told the observers not to call the cops. He said I’m sure the kid is embarrassed enough.”George Sachs

14. He Was Slammed Into A Pizza

Pixabay

“I was a very young man eating pizza in a small restaurant in the Marina District in San Francisco. It was 1987 the summertime, late at night, and most in the crowd were pretty drunk.
Two yuppies with their navy blue shirts and red power ties walk into the restaurant and cut in front of a Samoan and his girlfriend. When the Samoan said something, instead of just saying, ‘I’m sorry,’ one of them made a smart remark.
Then I stopped eating my pizza. I knew something bad was going to happen. I have always had good experiences with Samoans. They always treated me with more respect than most people do. But I never met a Samoan who would back down or suffer BS. I had a Samoan friend of mine literally pick me up and throw me into a bar fight because I told him I took martial arts classes, and he wanted to see if they were working.

The yuppie smart-mouthed the Samoan patron some more and threatened to call the police if he did anything. Faster than I could stuff another pizza slice into my mouth, the Samoan gentleman did something I did not think was physically possible. He picked the yuppie vertically off his feet then turned him horizontally superman style. He held the yuppie’s face over a pizza pie then literally dropped him straight down face-first into the pizza.
The amount of strength it took to literally turn the Yuppie’s body sideways seemed amazing. The Samoan turned to me staring at him and said, ‘You one of them?’ I shook my head no and went back to eating my pizza.

He left with his lady friend.

The police shortly arrived. No one saw anything. The yuppie’s smart suit and tie and big paycheck did not shield him from his big mouth. Be careful what you say, smile and always be respectful.” James Dal Bon

13. She Sent A Man To The ER

Pixabay

“My fiancée and I got in an argument after a date and were heading back to the car when a big redneck man grabbed her a*s. Before I could say anything, she kneed him in the crotch as hard as she could and slapped him in the face. The guy was crying on the ground about his balls saying they burst, so we called an ambulance (I called an ambulance), and what actually happened is that his balls tied, AND my fiancée broke her hand on his face.

Didn’t cry the whole time. I haven’t since and will never p*ss her off.” TristanKelby
12. He Slammed His Prosthetic Leg Onto Her Car

Pexels

This is why people shouldn’t make assumptions about those who park in handicap spots. Some disabilities aren’t visible. Other disabilities are easy to hide, but nonetheless, necessitate a closer parking spot.

“I watched a young-looking guy in a red sports car, with the proper decal, park in a handicap spot. A woman in a van just about hit the guy as he made his way to the store, she opened her window to yell about how big of an a** he is for using someone else’s parking pass to park there.

Without saying a word, he bent over, took off his artificial leg and slammed it on her hood. The look on her face was priceless.” UMPIRE13
11. I Knocked Out The Bouncer

Pixabay

“I had a bouncer at a club try to sucker punch me with a ‘Haymaker Punch’ for asking him repeatedly to stop hitting on my girlfriend. I”m 5’9 and 165..this guy is only about 5’10 but he’s all jacked complete with his ‘Muscle’s Gym’ tank top……I dodged his huge right and countered with a left hook. One punch and he was out cold before he hit the pavement. I looked over to the other bouncer standing right there, and he’s about 6’5 and HUGE.

He said to me, ‘That is the coolest thing I have ever seen.’ I calmly nodded to him and walked to my car and we left while d*uche nozzle was still out cold.” listguru
From reading these stories, it’s evident that being mindful of how we act or speak to someone we don’t know is important, unless, that is, we’re up for for a potential fight! The best part of these stories is that the victims not only got to prove their strength after being misjudged, but the person who triggered the brawl often learned a cold, hard lesson as a result (and hopefully never re-committed the act they got in trouble for).”

10. He Just Got Released From Jail For Assault And Battery

Pixabay

“I was about 22, on summer break from college and I’m in a neighborhood bar with my friend greg (…his name). We’re at the bar and we meet a guy named bull (…apparently not his name…but he looked like a bull). We meet the guy, he seemed like a nice person so the three of us are hanging out drinking beer.

Bull is dressed way too nicely for this bar and another patron…drunk…stumbles into him, apparently by accident, spilling beer on bull’s clothes. Bull is nice about it, the patron…is not.

Bull says, “Hey man..watch where you’re going..OK? Be careful next time!”

The patron, “…f*ck you! Get outta my way or I’ll drop your a**!”

Greg and my eyes light up.

Bull, “Dude..why you got to be like that…you bumped into me…I’m not trying to start any sh*t.”

Patron, “OH…you’re not going to start anything…I’M GOING TO START IT…”

The patron reaches under his jacket and attempts to pull a .45 automatic from his belt. I say attempt because before he can put his hand under his jacket, bull drops him with a left hook to the temple.

The “crack” of the punch is heard throughout the bar, and if you blinked you would have missed it.

Greg and I didn’t miss it.

Now…this is a place where what has gone on so far is not uncommon and if security has to step in it’s at the end of a sawed-off, pump action shotgun. This patron is out like a light so security isn’t involved…yet.

Bull reaches down, takes the .45 out of the guys belt, unloads the chamber, takes the mag out, puts the unloaded gun on the bar and we continue to drink, The bartender (…lady bartender) comes around with a pitcher of ice water and pours it on this guy to wake him.

He staggers to his feet.

Bull says, “Look man…I don’t want any problems…OK. Let’s just forget the whole thing and I’ll buy you a beer. Here are your piece…no bullets of course. I’m not stupid. How about it…OK?”

Well…this patron wasn’t having any of it. He grabs his gun and responds, “You’re a dead man. You don’t know who you’re f*cking with or what you just did. You’re f*cking dead where you stand. Don’t you go anywhere…I’ll be right back!”

NOW…security gets involved. This patron turns around face first into the barrel of the shotgun.

“I’ll have that gun please”…he says please.

The patron gives up the gun. Security says, “Look man, I know you. Go home, don’t come back…let it go.”

The patron turns back around to bull, “You see that car (..this guy drives a f*cking gremlin of all things) when I come back step outside and we’ll settle this.”

This guy leaves…

Greg and I come to find out Bull just got released from jail for assault and battery and has a fairly extensive amount of experience dealing with people who are armed…as is evidenced by the incident. This was his first night out and he didn’t want any trouble…but sometimes trouble finds a man before a man can find trouble.

“What do you want to do?”, I ask bull.

“Have another beer”

“No…I mean what do you want US to do…man?”

“I’m good…I don’t know this guy but what am I supposed to do…run?”

Greg says, “Look…we’ll go outside. When he comes back we’ll let you know so you can at least be ready. It’s apparent he’s not coming inside”

Bull says, “OK”.

A half hour goes by and the guy shows up…in his gremlin. He has another gun, he’s got it hanging out the window. He’s honking his horn for bull to come out. Greg and I go inside and tell bull. We ask does he need us to go out with him. Bull says no, but he gives greg a phone number on a slip of paper, asks greg to call the number and give this address to whoever answers telling them he’s got a problem. Greg goes to the phone. Bull leaves.

I’m looking out the window. The patron parks his gremlin, bull has his hands up, The patron has the gun pointed directly in bull’s face inches away. I hear words exchanged but since I’m inside I can’t hear what’s being said. By this time the whole bar, except for greg, is looking outside. Bull continues to have his hands raised, words continue to be exchanged…and then…

“CRACK!!!”

…bull drops him again…

…I’m dying from laughter, everyone in the bar is dying from laughter, this guy is out cold…again…this time in the parking lot. Bull collects the gun…again, unloads the chamber, takes out the mag and throws the gun on the other side of the parking lot.

Someone asks the bartender if she’s going to go out and wake him up again, she says, “HELL NO!! Leave him…a**hole!”…more laughter. She walks away shaking her head and by this time the bar is rolling.

Greg comes back.

“What’d I miss”…

I point to what he missed. He’s laughing. We walk out to bull,

“Did you call that number?”

Greg, “Yup. They said they’d be here soon. In fact they should be here any minute.”

“OK”

I say, “Dude, not that it matters, but do you need us to do anything”

“Naw it’s good…”

This guy wakes up…again. He hasn’t had enough. He’s screaming, cursing and crying. He holds his jaw and goes back to his gremlin. He going to go get his friends, he’ll be right back. Bull says he thought so, he’s called his friends and bull says he might just want to go home.

This guy doesn’t know when to quit. He’s in his car and on his way.

Two minutes later. A white cadillac followed by three black sedans pull up. If you’ve ever seen the original Superfly movie from the seventies…I am here to tell you Superfly showed up with his crew.

If you’ve never seen the original Superfly movie in the seventies…

…THIS is the original Superfly…and this is who showed up.

The exact car, the white suit (no hat or coat…it’s summertime), the hair, the girl dressed in a white gown…EVERYTHING…followed by three black sedans with tinted windows.

Bull walks over, shakes hands and gives “Superfly” a hug, he brings “Superfly” over to greg and I and introduces us.

The guy starts to say his name…I interrupt, “I know you…you’re Superfy.”

The man says, “well…not really.”

I say, “Hey, that’s all I need to know. I’ll call you what you want me to call you. But does it matter?”

The guy says, “Naw…not really. We’re good.”

I say, “Cool”

He says, “Thanks for watching my boy bull…I appreciate it. Here…” he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a wad of bills…

“No need…,” I say…”If I ever need a hand I’ll just ask for you..that’s OK?”

“Anywhere on the south side…we owe you one”…

“I’ll try not to have to call you on it”.

Greg refuses the money as well. We go into the bar and Superfly buys us a drink, the sedans wait for this guy to come back. I leave shortly after the drink with the uncanny feeling this guy isn’t coming back.

Thanks.” Mark Anthony

9. One Kung Fu Expert Versus Five Guys

Pixabay

“1979 Two incidents with the same person. I was at a well-known night spot called “Tumble Down Dicks” near Farnborough; for anyone not a Brit, it’s close to Aldershot where you’ll find the Paras.

Background I had just left the Junior Leaders (in the UK you can join the Army at 16) and I was going through what they call man service training. In those days it was still wooden huts and I’d seen this guy walking around camp who wasn’t what you would think most people in the army should be, fit athletic; most people would call him a bit of a porker and as I found out later, he was Scottish so he was called “Jock.”

Back to the night in question. So I’m 17 (how the bouncers ever let me in I don’t know as I looked like I was 12), I’m behind these guys trying to buy a drink and I spot the fat lad “Jock.” He’s just got a drink and there are these guys standing next to him.

More background: In those days the Paras were a tad out of control at times, a bit more than the usual rivalry you would see between units.

Anyway, I’m watching them because they’re clearly together being stupid and clearly Paras.

One of the Paras pushes “Jock” and then shouts at Jock that he’d spilt his (the Para’s beer). It was the sort of typical bullsh*t you used to get in those days. They clearly fancied a fight, spotted a fat lad that they thought would be a suitable target.

So this is where I get interested because Jock doesn’t do what most people do and say sorry they don’t want any trouble etc etc. He just looks at these guys and says, “No I didn’t.” These guys look stunned — a bit of a WTF moment (this isn’t going to plan) so this guy carries on.

“You calling me a liar?” because he’s escalating the situation now, working himself up.

Jock says, “YES I AM.” I’m starting to laugh now, mainly nervous energy, but I’m thinking there’s a ton of Paras here; they want a fight and this guy is NOT worried at all, so there must be a reason.

So the Para then steps back and does a KungFu kid stance and Jock laughs at him and says, “What the f*ck is that supposed to be? Tell you what. Why don’t we sort this out outside, me and all of you”

So these guys, their eyes light up (they’re clearly not the brightest around, because they haven’t worked out why one guy is happy to take on five people — and I can only describe it as Jock was happy to do this). They rush out. He follows and I follow him, I have to watch this.

So they’re waiting. He just meanders out and goes, “OK, who’s first?” and they all go for it.

I then have my very own WTF moment. Really it was bang bang bang, three guys on the floor, two others with blood coming out of their noses. The bouncers are looking worried and I’m still thinking WTF did I just see.

Jock looks down at one of the guys and says something along the lines of, “If you want to play the big man, you’d best be a big man” If you say that with a Scottish Glaswegian accent, you’ll get it.

He then says to the bouncers, “Sorry, guys, I don’t want any trouble,” and goes back to the bar.

I’m still thinking f*ck me.

Four weeks later

I’m out for a run. I’m on my way back to camp and in the distance, I can see Jock walking along the road and then stop, and look at this pub.

I’m catching up and there are some guys chucking stuff at him and then one of them throws a punch and yeah you get it more bish bosh and there are guys on the ground.

I’ve caught up now. The pub was a well-known bikers pub and it’s full of bikers, they’ve clearly been drinking and there’s a load of guys trying to get out of the pub to “have at him”.

I’m crossing the road thinking I’ve no idea what I can do, but he’s in my Regiment I’m joining in even if I am screwed.

He looks at me and shouts I’ve got this stay there, he’s smacked a couple of other guys and then reaches into an old Adidas bag he had and brings some nunchucks out of the bag. Now this is 1979 Bruce Lee was still alive and not many people really knew how to use them.

Man he knew, the bikers turn round and lock themselves into the pub and he starts smashing their bikes up and these guys are just watching from the pub.

He smashed a couple more bikes and then just wanders off and I’m thinking I’d best get going, the police will be here soon.

The next day the local paper ran a headline “Kung Fu kid smashed up bike gang’s bikes”

Fast forward, four months, I’ve been posted to Germany and we have a new guy posted to us, I’m thinking, “Great. I won’t be the new guy anymore,” He’s been allocated a bed in our room (In those days if you were single, you lived in four-man rooms).

Guess what? In walks “Jock.” I’m thinking I need to get to know this person, because the last thing you want to do is share a room with a nutter who knows what he is doing.

All I can say is, he was a top lad but you didn’t want to f*ck with him.

When I later asked him about the incident at the pub, and why he had nunchucks, he said, “Oh, they just saw some fat lad and started having a go at me.” But he’d just come back from giving a nunchuck demonstration at a local dojo, and he’s a 5th Dan in taekwondo. Remember this is 1979; martial arts just wasn’t that big then.

Those were the days.” David Brookfield

8. He Was On The Floor In One Second

Pixabay

“I was in London back in 1998 taking classes at the LSE, and had made friends with a couple of expats.

A couple of us were having lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe on Piccadilly just across from Green Park. One of my friends was a man I’ll call “Ted.” Ted was just a little on the smaller side, and in his late thirties or early forties at the time. Because of an injury he sustained during his previous employment, one of the lenses in his glasses was very thick, and it gave him a bit of an odd look.

While we were eating our lunch, a dark-skinned gentleman, who seemed to be a bit inebriated, proceeded to look at Ted appraisingly, and then asked something to the effect of “Why do you have to wear such ungodly, f*cking, ugly glasses?”

Ted smiled, and nodded back at the man but didn’t answer. He tried to fob it off as the response to a joke. To be fair, those of us who knew Ted, always referred to them as his “birth control glasses,” and it was a bit of a running joke. His face wasn’t disfigured or anything, but the lens in his eye had sustained damage that wasn’t surgically repairable at that time. Mind you, this familiarity was limited to close friends.

The man who asked the question decided he didn’t appreciate not being answered, so he continued. “Yo, Wanker, I was asking you a question. Don’t I get the respect of an answer?”, etc., etc.”

The smile dropped from Ted’s face and he quietly answered: “If it were any of your business, I’d tell you.”

The other guy stood up and slowly walked toward our table. Out of reflex, I picked up my knife by the handle and was ready to respond, but Ted looked at me and shook his head minutely. He whispered, “I’ve got this,” and didn’t even stop eating his nachos.

His aggressor moved into easy range, and then Ted put down his fork and looked up at the other man. There was no emotion in his voice, and his face had lost all expression as he quietly asked the man, “Do you really want to do this?”

There is no accounting for common sense, and the dark-skinned gentleman clearly possessed none. At this point, all conversation at the surrounding tables had stilled and the room got that quiet you see in the old westerns just as the street duel begins. The aggressor reached for Ted’s shoulder, and with snakelike speed, Ted put out one hand, gripped somewhere on the other guy’s wrist, and in under a second, the aggressor was on the floor. Ted didn’t release his grip, and in another second, the guy on the floor was writhing in pain. This all happened very quickly.

Ted leaned down and spoke to his attacker again. His voice never rose above a quiet conversational level. “You’re going to get up, clean up your mess (A water glass had been disturbed when he fell to the floor), leave your payment and a nice tip for the server on your table, and get the f*ck out of here.” He paused a moment to let it soak in, and then asked: “Do you understand me?”

He waited a few moments too long, and Ted increased his grip pressure, causing an involuntary yelp from the attacker. It was all over at that point, and the man on the floor suddenly began to nod his head enthusiastically.

Ted released his grip, nodded and smiled at the aggressor, and returned to his meal as if nothing had transpired. The man got up and left, doing exactly as Ted had instructed. The conversation picked back up and a cute girl two tables over actually applauded. I chuckled and said, “Well, damn, Ted, remind me never to p*ss you off.” He laughed back, and we continued our lunch, just as a manager belatedly appeared to assess what the hell had happened.

A little back story on Ted. He had served for twenty years in the USMC and had suffered an eye injury in Kuwait during Desert Storm. Ted was a decorated Gunnery Sergeant, and he ended his career a year before this as a hand-to-hand combat instructor at USMCOCS Quantico. The drunk guy at Hard Rock picked on the wrong little guy.” Patrick Parrish

7. He Started Drama At The Wrong Gas Station

Pixabay

“I was just 18, and working part-time at a local gas station, a Merit gas, with the little fishbowl in the middle of the pumps. I was in nursing school, so worked a couple of nights a week.

Now, let me preface this by saying I was not by any means raised to be shy and retiring. My dad was streetwise and made sure we were too. I knew how to defend myself and was not worried about working nights.

One night about 2am this drunk comes in, puts two crumpled up ones in the drawer, and says “put 20 on pump 3”. I yelled that he had only given me $2 but he was too far gone. I made a note of the make and model of his car, and was going to call the police about him as he was absolutely sloshed.

He comes back to the drawer and says “It only took 2$. Gimme my change.”

I explained that I did not get 20 from him.

He went back to his car and came back with a tire iron, and started to try to smash the windows. I pushed the alarm, then left the booth with a chain wrench in my hand.

Very useful as a weapon if you know how to use it, and I did. At least, I figured I did.

I went to him as he smashed the windows, and yelled some obscenities…. he turned on me with the tire iron. Just as I caught his hand with the chain wrench, and pulled the tire iron out, 4 motorcycles pulled in.

They were fully patched 1%-ers, members of a well-known motorcycle club not known overall for their sense of patience with morons.

One of the guys walked up to the drunk and said “what’s your beef?” and the drunk said, “she kept my change!” I said, “He gave me $2, he thought it was 2 tens, it was 2 ones”. Just then the drunk grabbed his tire iron and swung at me, but was so drunk he hit MC-Man 1. MC-Man proceeded to punch the man even more senseless than he was.

While MC Man 2 peed in his car, MC Man 3 went into the guy’s wallet and took out his driver’s license.

Just then, Drunk man gets up, and tries to hit MC Man 1. Next thing I know, the drunk is naked and upside down in a trash bin; he was wearing only his shoes, which had their laces tied together. MC-Men are busting a seam laughing.

Just then the Police showed up, and seemed disappointed when I explained it was not the bikers who were the problem, but the upside-down naked man who had attacked me, smashed the windows, etc. The MC Men helpfully gave their version of events, with four-part harmony focused on how they had been as abused and brutalized, being as defenseless as they were, as I was.

The Police dragged off upside down naked man, and MC Man 3 said “I found his wallet, this fell out” and handed the cop his driver’s license.

Just as he was being escorted to the cruiser, he spat on one of the bikes, and was accidentally tripped by the bike’s owner, and landed right on his face. He was filth-fouling his way all the way to the cruiser. The cop told the guy he would turn him over to the bikers if he didn’t shut the f_ up. That seemed to sink in, and he went calmly from there… until the cops said a tow truck was taking the car.

Upside down drunk yelled “You C—t” at me through the open cruiser window (there were bars) but as one of his teeth came flying out when he did, it was actually kind of funny.

After the cop left, I told the bikers they could fill up on me, whatever they needed, oil, gas, cigs, anything. MC Man 1 said “No, trust me, we can pay for our own stuff, and after all the fun you don’t owe us anything….” and they proceeded to use the guy’s own tire iron to smash the glass in his car.

It wound up in court, the guy was sent to jail for a year and ordered to pay for damages.

All 4 MC Men were called as witnesses. They showed up clean shaven, in nice suits, looking like they had walked out of a Wall Street firm, and spoke about how afraid they were of “that violent man”.

You could just see they enjoyed it.

He complained in court that someone kept breaking his car’s windscreen… the Judge actually said “you better think better who you pick fights with, but I suspect after you’ve paid your debt to society, you might find your windscreen lasts a bit longer. Right gentlemen?” The MC Men just laughed…” Bethann Siviter

6. Word Of Caution: Don’t Touch His Girl

Pixabay

“Back in 2011, I was in China. On this particular night, I was having drinks at a club. This was more of a high-end private setting.

I was with a couple of guys, talking business, closing some deals. Most of the clientele there that night were locals; rich business kids, business ‘wall street’ type, government officials, etc.

Place was pretty packed, there was only one other group of 4 or 5 foreigners (to China); either investors or buyers from the US that were seated along one of the bars (behind me), whereas we were at one of the raised tables like 10 feet away.

As the night went on, they were drinking heavily. They were definitely wanting to get hammered. As for myself, and most other people, it’s mostly casual drinking there. I had a couple of beers and maybe a mixed drink while I was sorting through business proposals and contracts, and trying to make heads or tales of the Chinese letters that couldn’t read back then.

The group of Americans, were there before I got there, I wasn’t paying attention or really watching them, but I’d estimate they were downing beers, shots, mixed drinks, the works for a long time. It got to the point where they were talking loud (even for Chinese standards, and Chinese people naturally are loud). But they started getting very drunk. Cussing in English, talking about American differences to China, they were talking sh*t about China, Chinese culture, and Chinese people.

Now, in Chinese culture, even the ones who understood English, which most people there that night probably did too, they don’t pay attention or ‘care’ about what the guy is saying, it’s none of their business. They don’t typically get involved.

Of that American group, there was this one guy that stood out above the rest. He was completely racist, and a pig. Every Asian woman in that bar was a complete sex object to him. Even his buddies in his group were trying to get him to settle down and stop being ‘too much’. Other people weren’t paying them any attention other than the bartender getting paid for drinks.

That one guy was a pretty big dude. Not big as in overweight, but just tall, broad shoulders, muscle, that T/Triangle shape. Now I’m within earshot of their group, so some of the things they were talking about, especially that guy, I could hear. And some of it was over the top even for me.

It got to a point the guy started being handsy with some of the girls passing by him. He would turn around, spew stuff in English (sexual comments, wanting to pay for sex, etc) and brush up or try to fondle a woman passing by him. This wasn’t the type of establishment for that, this was more high end, high class… it was completely inappropriate.

His group was kind of trying to get him to stop by making him face the bar. But he kept doing it. Some girls would comment in Chinese to him, not to touch them. Even the bartender said in English to the guy not to touch customers. But the guy wasn’t stopping.

Well, he made a mistake. (To be honest, any girl he touched was a mistake.) But a particular woman he tried to grope was a really big mistake for him. The lady went over to her table, in the VIP section in the corner and told the table what happened.

I first should mention that in China, the Chinese do not like it when foreigners get drunk and cause issues to local people. Many foreigners (to China) get beat up, stabbed, killed etc, because of this, especially in student bars.

When a gentleman from that VIP table stood up, everyone in the bar stopped talking. It was instantaneous. Everyone turned to look because in the back of their minds, they knew what the foreigner guy was doing. I remember muttering under my breath “oh sh*t.” Like something was about to go down. My party at my table said we should leave, but I wanted to see, this was sort of all new to me. My younger self was curious as hell to see what would happen.

I knew the Chinese guy that stood up. I’ve never seen him before or met him myself. But I knew of him, and his reputation, I recognized the area of the VIP section, the tattoos he had, and the ring he was wearing. His Guanxi (his social status) in that area of China was well known. I don’t think a single person who lived there didn’t ‘know of’ that guy or the guy’s network. It took me a couple of seconds to realize who it was. People started leaving, customers. Girls were grabbing their purses and just making for the door. No way these foreigners knew of this guy. They weren’t in the area long enough, they probably didn’t even know what Guanxi was.

So the Chinese guy has stood up, and he reaches into his back waistband/belt and takes out a Glock or something (a gun) from it, and he hands it to one of his friends who then conceal it on himself. For those of you who may not know, guns are completely banned in China except for Police, Army, and certain Government officials. The only other people who can even get their hands on guns are organized higher-end crime organizations/families (think triad). It’s 1000x harder to get a gun in China than it is in Canada or the USA. Penalties are 1000x more severe if caught.

The Chinese guy walks over right up beside the foreigner group behind me and asks them in (pretty perfect) English, with a Chinese-Asian accent “who is touching my girls?”. He’s right up in their personal space.

The American on the end, closest to the VIP tables was the guy causing the issues, who happened to be right up beside the Chinese guy said for the Chinese guy to “F off.” And the American gave him a shove. Big mistake. And I mean, the biggest mistake he’ll ever make in China.

The Chinese guy grabs the stool from under him, and the big guy falls back hitting his head on the floor. He grabs him by the collar of his suit, and shoves him across the floor like a bowling ball. He picked up the stool off the floor, walked over to where the guy was now (where he stopped sliding), and starts beating him, his legs, arms, shoulders, heads everything with the metal stool. The guy on the ground is screaming, wailing loudly and protecting his face with his arms.

His friends/party at this point are on their feet watching (probably in shock). I’m standing up too. There are tables knocked down, chairs knocked down, drinks spilled everywhere. The American group made the decision to go help out their buddy. They didn’t even make it two feet towards the completely one-sided beat down and the bartender girl goes “no, no, no, no, no”, like saying no as many times as she could in a short amount of time and she grabs one of the other guys arm to stop him from interfering, which stopped everyone from going to help.

I was standing right beside them and I said to the rest as well “I wouldn’t mess with that if I were you guys, just watch and learn.” Even the building security didn’t interfere, they knew better.

The beat down didn’t last very long. I’m sure to the guy on the floor, it felt like an eternity. But in reality, it was less than a minute. The guy on the floor was covered in his own blood, crying like a baby. Honestly, I was more worried about the nice suit the guy had on. May that suit rest in peace, it didn’t deserve it. The guy was still alive and deserved it. Probably had a ton of broken bones, especially his arm. That guy definitely picked a fight with the wrong person.

The Chinese guy went to the washroom to wash his hands after. Then he eventually sat back down in the VIP section.

One of the building managers came over to the American group and starting saying “Money, Money, Money.” “Give Money.” “You damage place, you give money fix,” Which they did, quite a bit too. Probably was their play money for the rest of the night.

They helped their friend to his feet and security pushed them out. The guy was lucky, obviously, he caught the Chinese guy on a good day. Waitresses started cleaning up and mopping the floor and picking up chairs and straightening tables up.

It was quite an experience to have witnessed that myself. The Chinese guy never actually said, “You just picked a fight with the wrong person.” But the smirk on his face when the American pushed him… definitely said it for him. Sometimes you know exactly what a person is thinking of by their facial expressions. And that is exactly what he was thinking.

Police were never called, they would have arrested only the American foreigner anyways. I checked the local social media the following couple days, it never made the news. I doubt any taxi would take them to the hospital, because of the blood. And they had no money. So I assume to this day that they walked to the nearest hospital which would have been like 30-minute walk away. I didn’t go outside for at least another hour so I’m not sure whatever happened to those guys. I never saw them again in China.” Damien Defranco

5. Grandpa Threatened To Hulk Smash His Bullies

Erick Contreras

“When I was in 5th grade, some neighborhood bullies decided to pick on my younger brother (4th grade) because he had a speech impediment. It got so bad that we started getting off at another bus stop and cutting through the woods.

Sadly the bullies figured this out and would be waiting in our back yard when we got home.
Fast forward a few weeks and my grandparents were in town, so we told them if the bullies showed up we would bang on the metal deck poles to let them know we were in trouble.
Well, that afternoon, sure enough, the bullies were waiting. We immediately banged the poles and the kids said, ‘Oh, we know your grandparents are home. What are they going to do?’

At this point, my 72-year-old grandfather who was a retired colonel from the Marines (and served as a tank commander in the Pacific theater during WW2 and Korea) comes running out the back door with a metal baseball bat at a full sprint threatening to Hulk smash anyone who doesn’t immediately run.

I’m fairly certain some or all were p*ssing themselves as they screamed running away.
Needless to say, we never got picked on again.” dranobob

4. Make Fun Of The Skinny Girl, Deal With The Consequences

Pixabay

“When a parent gets arrested, children end up in custody too.

A doll looking girl had arrived the previous night at the Center. She was so skinny. She had long straight blondish hair and was placed in the 9–13 years old group despite being 8. No space in her “age-group.” She cried softly in her bed most of the night.

Those places are called Emergency Centers. You’re there until they figure out what to do with you. So, kids come in or go out at any hours of the day. Any kind of kids. Some are new to the system, others not so much.

This place was a big one. Girls only. Probably a school before. I could see a schoolyard in the back through the windows and meals were taken in a real cafeteria downstairs.

It happened during a meal. Her first meal there. We were sitting in one of those fold-up long table that comes with benches attached. In order to remove yourself from those, you need to ask the person sitting next to you to leave a space for you in order to pull your leg out one by one.

She was extremely small in stature and her greenish-blue eyes were the type that people stare at, even if they didn’t want to. The fact that she was malnourished just accentuated that trait.

She hadn’t spoke to anyone yet, and nobody had spoken to her. Not a surprising demeanor considering our age and the trauma we were put thru.

But of course, nature oblige, somebody had to bully somebody.

That morning, the skinny girl was sitting across a not so nice big girl. That big girl proceeded to ask her why she was so skinny. Skinny didn’t respond. By this time, everybody sitting at our table had stopped small talking, were paying attention and, actually, wanted to know why she was so skinny.

Skinny seemed to re-organize her tray and was very absorbed by the food in front of her. She was smelling and tasting everything while totally ignoring the big girl. Big Bully knew everybody was paying attention. She wasn’t going to let it go. She then, extended her hand, very slowly, across the table to reach something on Skinny’s tray while starring at her reaction.

That’s when it happened and it happened real fast. When it comes to successful aggression, well, size doesn’t matter.

By the time Skinny’s fork had pierced Bully’s hand, Skinny’s feet were already on top of the bench, adding force to impact. Skinny wasn’t “squished” by her meal mates like Bully was.

One would think that the next thing to happen would be a long scream from Bully and a brawl. Well no, because at the same time Skinny picked up a glass of morning healthy juice and splashed it into Bully’s, opened but yet not screaming, a mouth which got her to choke and fall backward. It was fast and effective.

By the time the adults in charge were all around us, trying to figure out what just happened to the bleeding big girl laying in the between of the cafeteria tables, well Skinny was sitting back in her spot and had finished everything in her tray. She also had pocketed an extra granola bar taken from the Bully’s.” Marie Jacinthe Labelle Meija

3. Grandpa Won A Fight With A Frat Boy

Pexels

“My grandpa was a Vietnam veteran, really nice guy, kinda your typical portly boomer type. Well, one day we were at the mall and on the way back to the car some frat douche looking guy was walking along singing a dirty song comprised mostly of profanity.

My grandpa told him, ‘Hey, there are kids around here. Watch your mouth.’ Guy sizes up my grandpa, sees he’s kinda old, has a belly, and decides he’s going to prove to his two buddies how tough he is by bowing upon an old man. He flexes his cutoff sleeved arms, juts his barbed-wire tribal neck tattoo chin out, and kinda tries to chest bump my grandpa.
My grandpa suddenly is in this perfect boxer’s stance and just rocks this guy in the gut. Frat dude goes down on his knees, winded, and my grandpa says. ‘I said watch yer mouth boy.’ The guy starts to get up and say, ‘F*ck you,’ but my grandpa puts a left hook into his face and a right punch into his neck under his ear and the dude goes down spread eagle and out cold.

My grandpa steps over him walking towards his two buddies, who book it. We got in the car and he made me promise not to tell my mom.” Vict0r117

2. Try To Force Her To Take You Back After A Breakup? She’ll Break Your Bones Too

Pixabay

“I saw security camera footage that was at first, horrifying, and then, very entertaining.

I have a friend, female type… and she once dated a guy who ‘was’ a cop at the time she dated him, but he was tossed off the force for violent criminal behavior…

Now, she’d broken off with him before he got into that trouble… and hadn’t seen him in a few years, but knew of his judicial misfortunes, and had already decided even before that, that she really didn’t want anything to do with him.

Well… as it happens… that knucklehead got out of the slammer and decided to call on her, to try to convince her, that she should start seeing him again. He stood a good 6 foot 3, probably, and easily tipped the scales at 220… She stands 5 foot 6 inches, and MAYBE tips the scales at 130 pounds if she’s soaking wet.

When she declined his generous offer, he took umbrage, and communicated his displeasure, by slugging her in the jaw so hard it spun her around and she fell to the ground, face down.

She planted her hands on the deck, looked up at her horrified daughter (I later learned that her daughter witnessed the entire exchange… and she told me that the look on her mother’s face, when she looked up, was one of pure, unadulterated FURY)… and pushed herself up to her feet, and turned on the man.

What ensued, would’ve made Joe Frazier blush… because she started to punch… and by punching, I mean punching like ole Joe… HARD punches to the body and head of that despicable man, and it was very clear… he wasn’t at ALL prepared for the onslaught. She backed him up against the wall and continued teeing off on him, and I can honestly say, she staggered him and had him going out on his feet.

His efforts to return fire, were pathetic and he missed BADLY, which only p*ssed her off even more as she continued the beating.

When the cops pulled up, lights and sirens going, the man somehow scrambled out of the corner she’d backed him into and ran for his LIFE to the cruiser. A neighbor told me that he heard the guy clearly say, “Get me out of here before she kills me!!!”

His face looked like he’d tried to kiss a speeding truck, and from the report presented at the man’s trial, he had…
—5 broken ribs
—a broken nose
—2 black eyes (one of which was swollen shut at its worst)
—5 teeth lost
—4 more teeth broken
—a concussion
—12 stitches over his left eye
—8 stitches over his right eye
—4 stitches in his upper lip

HER injuries were…
—2 hands swollen, but not broken
—a sore jaw
—suspected minor concussion

He was found guilty of several charges related to the incident, and the judge threw the book at him.

Yeah… I’d say he picked the wrong woman to mess with.

Probably doesn’t hurt, that despite being a very feminine and lady-like type woman, my friend holds a 6th-degree black belt in Taekwondo, and was a rather talented kickboxer in her younger years. Sweet as can be… would give the shirt off her back to anyone…

As a footnote… after that idiot got out on probation, he decided that knocking off a liquor store in armed robbery fashion was a good idea. The owner of the store disagreed, and communicated that disagreement with several 9 millimeter slugs. Thus ended that idiot’s criminal career and life.

I guess you can’t fix stupid… but you can knock the crap out of it, or shoot it.” Paul Schewene

1. Dan Has A Black Belt In Jiu-Jitsu

Pixabay

“There was a bully in my high school class who liked to ‘pants’ other guys. His goal was usually to get both the pants and the boxers, leaving the victim’s d*ck blowing in the breeze.

After gym, the bully decided his target was a guy named Dan. Dan was a brilliant yet awkward guy, definitely on the spectrum. Dan was a tall gangly guy and an easy target. However, Dan had a secret. He had just received his Black Belt in jiu-jitsu and was fully capable of absolutely f*cking sh*t up. I think you see where this is going.

Anyway, the bully struts up to Dan and yoinks his shorts down. Shorts, boxers, everything. Dan is left standing there fully on display with the whole class laughing at him. Dan calmly stepped out of his downed shorts and put the bully into some crazy hold.

Once he got the bully to squeal, he flipped him over his back onto the bleachers.
The gym teacher saw the whole thing. The bully suffered a broken leg, missed out on his entire senior year of athletics, and was suspended. Dan received a warning not to break the legs of any more classmates.” nate800

If this list of stories wasn’t long enough for you, no worries! Check out part one for more delightful anecdotes.


CF_IPCountry: US country: Feb,27,2020 06:56:18 AM