People Ask Us To Be Critical Of Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
36. AITJ For Wanting My Roommate's Significant Other To Pay For My Milk?
“I really enjoy camel milk, unfortunately, it’s very expensive. I am able to get a discount since I know the producers, but it still costs me about 40 Australian dollars per liter. In other places, it can cost like 90 per liter.
Do you guys remember the Miss Piggy story from like 5 years ago? Yeah, I’m in a similar situation.
My roommate’s SO acts like an actual pig, she makes actual pig noises and thinks it’s funny. She makes messes she won’t clean up and eats my food. I’ve repeatedly told my roommate to get her SO to stop but he doesn’t do anything. I’ve seen her eating my food like 4 times and she’s always like ‘I’m sorry I can’t help it I’m so hungry’.
I called her a fattie the last time she ate my food that should stop eating and get on a diet and she cried and my roommate was mad, we argued and our neighbors threatened to call the police.
So I’m in the process of getting a mini fridge that I can lock. I shouldn’t have to do this, it’s ridiculous.
I had the camel milk in the regular fridge, I had nowhere else to put it and I come home and I see that she uses most of the container to pour it in some cereal. She then just throws the rest of the milk away. I was so mad, I was cursing and screaming at her and she has the audacity to just say ‘it’s just milk I’ll go buy some’.
I show her the price and she refuses saying I shouldn’t waste so much money on milk. I threaten to call the police so she hands me 60 dollars and leaves saying I’m a massive jerk. My roommate chases after her.
I told my uncle who is the landlord and he decided to start the eviction process for my roommate who is now mad at me.
AITJ?”
35. AITJ For Not Paying For My Roommate's Hotel Room?
“I rent out the spare bedroom in my house for $800 a month (market rate in my area). I don’t know my roommate very well, but we work for the same company. I work early mornings and she works late evenings.
So we’re often ships passing in the night.
On Friday my hot water heater broke. The home warranty guys said they couldn’t get anyone out until Monday morning. It’s hot as balls right now, so I wasn’t too upset. A few cold showers won’t kill anyone. I texted my tenant ‘Hot water is out until Monday’ and she responded with a thumbs-up emoji.
I didn’t see her all weekend, which is normal, as I said. The guy got here at 8 AM to fix the heater. When he was done I texted her to let her know the hot water was back on. She hits me with this gem. ‘My hotel bill was $250. Do you want to reimburse me now or deduct it from next month’s rent?’
I stared at the text for a good while. I didn’t even know she was gone. She got a hotel room just for hot water? That’s so extra. She could have showered at work, but she got a hotel room? I texted ‘Hey, I didn’t know you left. Rent is still due in full on the first of the month, regardless of if you choose to sleep elsewhere for a weekend.’
She texted me back ‘There was no water. I couldn’t stay there. You’re my landlord and have to provide me with livable accommodations.’
I texted back ‘There was water, just not hot. If it was winter, you might have a point. The rent is still due in full. Failure to pay rent will result in me filing with the court, which will impact your credit.’
She stopped responding. I texted a friend who said I was way too harsh and should have just countered with a $50 discount for those two days or something. Which, sure, if she’d asked for a $50 reduction that would have been reasonable. But I’m not paying for her hotel and the audacity of her to ask me annoys me. But I know jumping to talking about filing for thirty days was a bit dramatic.
Was I the jerk?”
34. AITJ For Walking In On My Brother And His Wife And Kicking Them Out Of My House?
“My wife (F 32) and I (M 32) went to my sister’s 29th birthday party. My brother (M 35) and his wife (F 36) live out of town and came a long way to celebrate. A few days before the party, my sister told me she and her husband would be going out to dinner, and asked if we could watch my niece (F 6).
My wife and I agreed since we don’t get to have her over much.
After my sister and her husband left, I was getting ready to leave with my niece and wife. My wife started telling me she was having sudden back pains and was having abdominal cramps (she is pregnant) so I was in a bit of a rush to leave.
My brother and his wife knock on my car window as I’m about to exit the driveway and ask to crash at my house. I looked at my wife to see her reaction, and she did a little shoulder shrug. I reluctantly agreed and told them to follow us in their cars since I didn’t want my car being packed.
When we all arrived at my house, I told my brother he and his wife could sleep on the futon in our sitting room and I told my niece she could sleep on an air mattress in our room. She was tired and didn’t put up a fight. My wife and I got ready for bed, shortly falling asleep after helping my niece fall asleep.
My wife is a very light sleeper and will wake up to little noises. She hasn’t been able to get much sleep lately with her pregnancy pains and being such a light sleeper. On the other hand, there’s me; a very heavy sleeper. My wife wakes up in the middle of the night after hearing a series of noises.
She wakes me up and tells me she thinks she’s hearing my brother and his wife having an intimate time. I was still half asleep and confused, but I listened carefully and was appalled. I was furious when my wife told me she was up for the past hour trying to ignore it.
I rushed down the stairs, caught them in the act, and told them to get out.
I told them that my wife couldn’t sleep because of the noise. My brother told me that I didn’t need to walk in on them because they were ‘almost done’. I angrily told them that our niece could have woken up, walked down the stairs, and seen that. I told them one last time to get out of my house, which they did shortly after.
My brother thinks I’m full of crap, my sister thinks I did the right thing, and our parents think I invaded their privacy. AITJ?”
33. AITJ For Firing The HVAC Crew?
“My wife and I bought a house in the city a few months ago and shortly after moving in, we had some issues with the AC. I contacted an HVAC company and they sent out a crew of 2 guys to look at it.
Despite confirming the time of their arrival, the guys showed up nearly 3 hours late around dinner time. I was pretty irritated already, but when I answered the door, they immediately started looking into the house over my shoulder, and the older one of the two, a guy in his late 40s/early 50s, went ‘Hi we’re here to repair the AC, is your mommy or your daddy at home?’ (yes, mommy or daddy, not even mom and dad).
Now for some context, I’m a big, 6ft tall 32-year-old guy with a beard. I don’t look younger than I am, I can’t imagine why somebody would ever mistake me for a child. I was wearing casual clothes at home, but I can’t imagine why someone would speak to me in such an infantilizing way.
My reaction was overly ‘dramatic’, but I was legitimately stunned by how he addressed me and my brain short-circuited a bit.
I just uttered something like ‘what’ and closed the door in their face. Then 2 seconds later, after my head cleared a bit, I reopened the door and told them ‘sorry, I won’t be needing your services anymore’ and closed the door again. There are plenty of HVAC companies and I thought these guys made a really poor first impression… At the same time, it felt like a ‘Karen’ thing for me to do.
The next day, their office called me to ask what had happened, and I told them. They apologized and that was that.
So overall, no harm done, but I found them disrespectful and I found the situation was very strange. I ended up doing business with a different HVAC company.
AITJ for ‘firing’ an HVAC crew because they infantilized me without trying to correct the situation?”
32. AITJ For My Dad's Decision To Cut Down The Tree?
“My husband rented his aunt’s home before we got married. He signed a month-to-month lease when he moved in. I moved in with him after our marriage because the rent was super cheap.
My parents recently came to me asking if they could park their RV at our home. I didn’t see a problem with this. Our yards are really big and there is space. Because of city ordinance, the RV has to be parked in the backyard. There was no RV gate in the fence. My husband went to his aunt and asked if we could install an RV gate.
His aunt said no. My husband relayed the message to me and my parents seemed upset when I told them. 2 days ago. I came home from work and saw that my dad had a construction crew at our home and had removed part of the fence for the gate. There was an apple tree in the way. They couldn’t fit the RV in the yard.
My husband angry told my dad not to continue and that they needed to repair the fence.
At this point, I felt like it was pointless. The fence guys already built the columns for the gate. It would cost a lot more to rebuild the fence. I told my dad to finish the job but make sure it was left super clean.
That looked nice. I planned on talking to the aunt later and explaining what happened.
What I didn’t know was my dad told the guys to remove the tree.
My husband’s aunt came by and saw the tree cut down and started to cry. She has refused to talk to my dad or me. When my husband came home he found a 30-day notice on our door.
Terminating our lease. He tried to call his aunt and she didn’t answer the phone. He then called my MIL and she went to talk to our aunt.
Later I got several messages calling me a jerk for cutting down the aunt’s late husband’s tree. I had no idea he planted the tree. Now my husband and his whole family are really angry at me.
I never told them to remove the tree. I feel like I am being thrown under the bus here. Am I the jerk here?”
31. AITJ For Refusing To Babysit My Niece And Nephews?
“My sister Laura and her husband Daniel won a sizeable amount in a sweepstakes event. It wasn’t a life-changing amount, but it was enough to combine with some other savings for a week-long vacation. It’s at this couple’s-only resort, meant for adults only. Their flight is scheduled for this Friday.
Laura and Daniel told the family about it a month ago and I forgot about it until Laura frantically called me yesterday.
Laura and Daniel’s babysitter/part-time nanny agreed to watch their children, Eliza, Danny, and Lukas (all under six) during the vacation. But then the nanny had to cancel because her mother was in the hospital and she had to be there to support her mom.
Daniel’s parents are around, but they’re too sickly to look after the children for that long. All of Laura and I’s family are at least two states away. So Laura was begging me to watch my niece and nephews for the week.
I loved my niece and nephews and enjoy having Aunty/Nibling days with them, but Larua or Daniel are always there with me when those happen.
I am not qualified or confident to care for kids as young as they are. I don’t even really know how to change a diaper, which Danny and Lukas both need right now. I also want to note that my house is not child-friendly at all. No gates or baby furniture. I have a lot of glass furniture/delicate objects and also no car seats.
I told Laura that I didn’t feel comfortable watching them and offered to chip in for a babysitter. But Laura doesn’t trust a stranger to watch the kids. Laura and Daniel have friends in the area with young families, but most are on vacation. The few who do are working and have their kids enrolled in camp, so they can’t watch them either.
Laura says that I’m being horrible by turning my back on them when it’s an emergency because nobody else can watch the kids.
My partner says that if I’m not confident in my ability to look after the kids then I shouldn’t look after them. My friends said similar things, but I should note they’re almost all childless.
The rest of the family is agreeing with Laura, telling me I’m selfish/lazy for refusing to watch my own niece and nephews and that this is an emergency. How watching Eliza, Danny, and Lukas is not as hard as I make it out to be and I’m turning my back on my niece and nephews when they need me.
I still mostly believe I shouldn’t be put in charge of watching them, but my family’s making me doubt if I made a jerk move. AITJ?”
30. AITJ For Letting My Partner's Son Figure Out How To Get Off The Bench Press?
“I’m a 36-year-old man, and my partner is 34. I’ll call her Jenny. She has a son, who is 14, from a previous relationship. I’ll call him George.
Jenny and I get along well in basically all but one department: George. As bad as this is going to make me sound, I really don’t like this kid, but Jenny’s rose-tinted glasses for him might as well be painted with a coat of black at this point.
She legitimately cannot stop enabling his bad behavior, let alone recognize it for what it is.
This friction has only gotten worse as she moved in with me two months ago because they could no longer afford to live alone.
I have a basement gym that I have poured over $7000 into. It has multiple types of high-end barbells, a power rack, and various other equipment.
In the past few days, I was a competitive powerlifter, and although I’ve scaled back a lot on that front, I still train very hard.
When Jenny and George moved in, George started to use my home gym uninvited. I first warned him not to, but by lying through his teeth, he has consistently done it behind my back. I can tell because he leaves barbells loaded and equipment moved. I then put a lock on the door, which George broke down with a hammer.
I then reinforced the door and put a new lock on, which George could not penetrate.
Jenny, however, insists on having a spare key to the basement, and I recently learned that she has been loaning it to George. She tried cleaning up after him but I could tell. Since he and she are home during the day as he takes lessons online, I can do nothing about it.
Jenny won’t return my key either.
A couple of days ago, I got home from work and decided to hit the gym. Noticing the door open I walked down the stairs, only to find George in the middle of a bench press set. As I watched him from the stairs he went for one rep too many and got pinned. He was in no danger at any point because the barbell was low on his sternum, and plus it was only like 80 pounds.
After 30 seconds of panic mode, he finally got the bright idea to dump the weight, to which I gave him a slow clap.
I started to tell him that that’s what happens when you work out alone, and he then shrieked at me red-faced. Then he insulted my strength, to which I responded that I’m not the one getting pinned under an 80-pound bench.
He ran upstairs basically in tears and then told Jenny what I had said. Jenny is also furious at me and they’re both giving me the silent treatment. She says I should have handled the situation better, but I say I kind of did when I installed a heavy-duty door and put a new lock on it. I’m going to be changing the lock tomorrow.
Did I go too far with how I dealt with George here?”
29. AITJ For Wanting To Convert The Cat's Bedroom Into A Baby's Room?
“My husband (27 m) and I (25 f) have been together for 6 years and married for 3. We recently had our son who is 10 months.
We live in a 2 bedroom apartment, and for the past 3-4 years, our cat has had her own bedroom. It was never a big deal to me because we didn’t have kids, our couch pulled out into a bed if there was ever an emergency with family or friends, and I will admit we both treat our cat like our daughter.
Once we had a child, I never talked to him about it, but I assumed once our child got older we would give him the room. Lately, we haven’t been intimate or anything because our child is in our room. Recently I showed my husband some toddler beds, and he asked where would we put them. I respond in his room.
He looked at me like I grew another head. He asked me what room. Then I looked at him crazy.
I started talking about how we could covert our cat’s room into a nice bedroom for our child. He got upset. He asked how could I even fix my mouth to suggest we take away his daughter’s room.
I looked at him confused. Our apartment is big enough for most of her stuff to come out of the room and into the living room/kitchen area. She only has a bed, a scratching post, and a few cat toys. The only thing that may be harder to place is the scratching post just because of the height (and it’s not even that big).
I stood up for myself. I told him how I wasn’t kicking our cat out, but our child is getting older and needed room. He suggested we buy a new place, but we can’t afford that. He told me I was a jerk and stormed into our cat’s room. It feels weird. I thought after months of not doing anything, he would jump on the opportunity to get our child out of our room.
He’s been in our cat’s room for a couple of hours and I am starting to feel like a jerk.
Edit: I am a new mom. I didn’t like the idea of my baby being that far away. I know now that I ignored many red flags in this situation. I was blinded by love. I thought that he was supporting my new mom’s jitters.
He wanted kids. I never brought up converting the room earlier cause I didn’t think I needed to. I wasn’t ready for my baby to leave the bed, but I didn’t think he wanted us to have a teenage still in our room or something. I’m just confused by all of this and I don’t know what to do.”
28. AITJ For Not Accepting A Dormmate's Apology?
“I (20 F) am a college student who has lived in my university’s dorms for the past two years. One of the people I met while living here, who I’ll call M, lived on a different floor than me but would come up to my floor to hang out/speak to people. I am an engineering student, so whenever she came by I was always nice, but tried to quickly transition the conversation so I could get back to studying.
I guess I wasn’t assertive enough, because M would try to stop by multiple times a day, expecting to talk for at least an hour each time.
After two weeks of this, I either kept my door shut or had someone call me when she showed up. In response, M started following my online activity, asking the people who lived near me if I was around, or waiting for me to come back from class so she could speak to me.
This really freaked me out, so I started straight up avoiding her.
This tactic was working out well until one night M messaged me that there was an emergency. I went down to her room and she was having a panic attack/considering harm. I talked to her and in the morning we both walked over to the student counseling services to make sure the proper people could help her out.
It was quiet for about a week, but then she was back trying to have conversations. This time though they were MUCH deeper (e.g., telling me about her parents, desire to potentially transition genders, etc.). I was still nice but tried to cut conversations short. Another week passes and I receive a message that M needs to discuss something important.
When she stopped by, M told me that she liked me romantically. I flat out replied that I am ace/aro, nothing against her. She looked upset and left.
After coming back from class the next day I noticed there was a two-page note left on my desk. While it did say some nasty stuff about me (e.g., ‘You are a different kind of lonely, I don’t know how you make it through life’), I was mainly upset that someone had violated my personal space and snuck into my room.
M had signed the note, so I sent her a message that her actions were unacceptable and to please never enter my room without my permission again. She lost it and sent a huge rant. Then sent an apology. I ignored both because it seemed like any time I responded it would just feed her attention.
This all happened last year, but since then she has sent an apology message about every month over some new type of social media platform (e.g., Instagram, Snapchat, Discord, etc.).
Because I know she is still watching my online activity and movement throughout campus, I have ignored every single one of them.
When I told a friend about my problems, she said I am a jerk because this is a person who had contemplated harm and I was contributing to the problem. I don’t know though, M really freaked me out with the note and tracking my activity.”
27. AITJ For Causing My Peers To Fail By Not Driving For Them Anymore?
“I and 4 peers are in college. We signed up for a work-study at a lab in my city. The work-study counts as college credit and fills a mandatory major requirement.
I live 10 min from the lab, 45 min from my college. Since I have a car, my program advisor asked me to carpool people from campus to the lab, so basically driving 45 min x 4 every day that I go to the lab.
I said no at first but was eventually pressured and offered stipends, benefits, etc. (The stipend I received was negotiated before the cost of gas doubled, unfortunately, the stipend ended up being ‘nowhere’ enough to cover gas/time lost.)
I officially met my 4 other peers in January. I found out on the first day that ALL of them lived on the same dorm floor, know each other for years, a part of the same clubs, etc. When the work-study started, I tried to fit in and build a friendship with them, but that was hard since they were all close to each other, and didn’t seem like they wanted to talk to me.
I noticed soon that they wouldn’t actually try talking to me unless I initiated the convo. For a while, I was pretty peeved spending 3 hours of my day, driving to/from the lab to pick them up and whatnot, only to spend most of my time working alone.
Weeks in, I started having issues with my peers. Things like taking credit for assignments I did.
Leaving all the hard tasks up to me. Complaining a lot about the work-study, as if they didn’t sign up for it. Sometimes I stood up for myself, though nothing really changed unless I basically forced my situation to (which was not a good feeling). What annoyed me the most though was that about 1-2 weeks before school ended, I happened to run into 3 of my peers at the school cafeteria.
They were sitting and eating, and I was about to say hi to them but I realized they were literally talking trash about ME and laughing about me. I felt incredibly dejected.
That same week, our advisor sent an email saying we MUST attend the last 2 weeks of the work-study if we wanted to receive college credit for the course.
Pretty much no exceptions. At that point, I really DID NOT want to carpool my peers anymore. I was very irritated with them and felt upset at the way they ignored and outcasted me the entire semester, among other issues.
So I emailed my advisor and told her that I was sick and that I would not be able to make it to the work-study or carpool anyone else.
I did not worry about failing the course, because I was not enrolled in it in the first place and was only volunteering here for work experience.
However, my peers were enrolled in the course. I told them I was sick. None of them own a car or drive. I suggested Uber. They couldn’t get another ride in time, so they missed the last two weeks of school and subsequently failed the college course, meaning they’ll have to take another one next semester.
School ended just today. No one knows that I did this except a few close friends, but my partner says I was being very petty here. AITJ?”
26. AITJ For Calling The Cops On My Judgmental Neighbor?
“I am a single woman in my early 30s, making my living writing and self-publishing adult fiction.
By adult fiction, I mean, ADULT fiction with the majority of the ‘plot’ being steamy. I don’t typically tell people what I write but I do tell them I write books for a living under a pen name (and if you’re questioning my writing abilities, I have an editor to correct my mistakes). I am not hiding it per se but I am not telling everyone I meet what I do for a living and none of my neighbors knew, only a bunch of friends.
I live in a house alone, pretty much all my neighbors are either young families or retired couples. My next-door neighbor is a young couple. We’ve been polite to each other but haven’t been close or anything.
Lately, the husband, let’s call him Roger, became very friendly towards me which I tried to ignore but he’s been getting too flirty for my liking, and I started avoiding him.
They had a BBQ over the bank holiday weekend, and I was taking the rubbish out to put in my bin, Roger looked at me, waved ‘hi’ and whispered something to his friend and they both watched me very carefully which was incredibly creepy.
On my way through my garden, I saw Roger’s wife (Dalia) leaving the house with her friend and they both looked at me with disgust and whispered something to each other.
It was weird and I hurried back inside.
The next morning, I found some religious leaflets put through my letterbox. They were just printed on normal printer paper and were warned about lustful behavior leading to being banned from heaven, etc. Threw them away but kept finding similar leaflets put through my letter box for the next week.
Since I am working from home, I decided to see who was leaving those leaflets and to my surprise, it was Dalia.
I decided to confront her and ask her to stop putting religious leaflets through my door. Despite me being polite, she was not happy. She told me that I should rethink my life because what I write is disgusting (it’s pretty vanilla) and she found her husband reading it at night and you can imagine doing what. She kept going on and on about how I am going to burn in the underworld, how I have no morals, etc.
Well, I told her to stay away from me and discuss this with her husband and I closed the door in her face. Don’t know who, but someone told them what I do for a living.
A day later, I found a nasty word painted on my door. A few days later, I caught her keying my car, she was almost done with another hateful word.
Well, I called the police on her and since I installed cameras after the paint incident, she is being taken to court over keying my car.
I talked to my other neighbor (she asked about the police) about it and she told me that I went overboard, that Dalia was clearly insecure but she’s a lovely woman and great mother and I should have talked to her instead of calling the police and give her a chance to change her behavior.
AITJ for calling the police and not giving Dalia a chance?”
25. AITJ For Giving A 1-Star Feedback?
“With friends contributing, I/we won a tasting for 10 at a local distillery. Arranging calendars was hard, but we finally settled on a date and time. I went to the distillery’s website and submitted our request for a day and time (they have a special site for auction winners, unfortunately, no way to see what is available to reserve a day and time; you have to tell them preference and they get back with you, which is the issue).
After a few days, no response. I called a couple of numbers for the distillery and only got voicemail. Left polite messages. Also used their ‘Contact Us’ email. Also polite. After a few more days, still no response. Emailed again, perhaps a bit less polite, but nothing profane. Nothing. Probably left another message or two. Polite, but a bit firm.
At least a week passed. Decided to post a 1-star review on their Google Maps listing, recounting my frustrations. Perhaps could have been a bit nicer, but nothing was untrue.
In the post, I said I hoped to visit the distillery and have a great experience, at which time I would adjust my rating. Finally, someone at a different location called me and said he wasn’t the one who could arrange it but he would pass on my info.
He also said during normal business hours, there is literally no one who could answer the phone (that would be a good thing to put on the website or leave in the message).
From that last exchange, someone texted me to tell me that the time I put in was available and he would set it up. I thanked him.
A bit later he asked me to remove my 1-star review. I responded that this had been my experience so far but I hoped to change it when we went. No response. A couple of weeks later, I updated, giving 3 stars, but with a few comments on how they could have improved service (maybe not the best place for this, I realize).
Everything was set for the tasting when I was told by my wife (who volunteers for the organization that held the raffle) that the head of the organization was contacted by the owner of the distillery. He told her (the head of the org) that he wanted to cancel the tasting because I wouldn’t remove the review (even though I changed it).
He gave her the money we spent and we will get that back.
Granted, I have a very high bar for customer service and customer experience. However, I am also quite forgiving and understanding that stuff is going to happen, to even the best of companies. However, the real test, for me, is how will you respond when something like this happens.
Acknowledge and try to fix the issue or double down against the customer?
So, AITJ for not removing the review when they asked? Depending on the response, I might either update my review back to a 1-star, with comments on their behind-the-scenes tactics or just leave well enough alone. (Probably the latter would be better either way.)”
24. AITJ For Having An Argument Over Email Because Of A Bed?
“I (19 F) was recently injured in my college dorm. My bed randomly collapsed with me on top of it, resulting in me hitting my head on one of the wooden support poles.
I was taken to our Health Facility by housing staff where I was diagnosed with Whiplash and given a muscle relaxer to help loosen my neck from its tensed state. I was told to return to the clinic if my injury got worse.
Once I returned to my dorm, maintenance was called to my room to fix my broken bed, and while they were there I asked them what exactly happened and recorded the conversation on my cell phone.
Maintenance stated that the pins on my bed were old from years of usage and had in turn rotated out of place causing my bed to collapse. They also stated that normally the bed doesn’t collapse all the way, only one side, but in this event, my bed collapsed all the way in the bottom half.
I typed all of this into an email and forwarded it to the head of housing, Crystal.
After meeting with Crystal, they made implications that the bed was broken due to improper usage, and that I do not qualify for Workers Comp (I work as an RA on campus, I did not know about this as I only came to find a solution not a payout) and when I mentioned what the maintenance personal said to me, they said that they did not think this was true as the pins are metal and unlikely to rotate out.
They stated they would follow up with maintenance.
Today, I received an email from Crystal stating that maintenance put in their report that they never said the pins were old and rotated out due to yearly usage and that the pins had just rotated out of place. They also asked me a series of questions pertaining to how I get on and off of my dorm bed.
I sent them a follow-up email with the video attached that contradicted this statement and provided a statement regarding how I use my bed.
Crystal then sent a very short blunt email asking if I had consented to film. I sent them another email detailing that we live in a one-consent-party state (which means I can film if I am in the convo).
They sent back an email stating that they didn’t ask for the law only if I had got consent.
I feel like this is turning into a huge mess and I don’t know what to do about it going forward. So AITJ?”
23. AITJ For Not Giving My Ex $2000?
“My daughter’s father (22 M) had suggested to me that I (21 F) file my taxes and claim our daughter because I would receive a decent chunk of money if I did so. I’ve never made enough money to require me to do taxes, so I wasn’t aware that I could claim her since I’ve been unable to work for a little over a year.
I was extremely grateful that he gave me such advice, and got everything done when I got home. I’m getting about $6,300 ($5,000 for my child, and an extra $1,300 for not receiving last year’s stimulus).
Last night, he texted me to make sure I had it done, to which I said yes and explained how I plan on using it all for our daughter, a couple of things for the house I’m about to move into, and saving the rest for emergencies.
He then asked me if I plan on giving him one-third of that money because he believes it’s ‘common for co-parents to do so.’ After asking around, I apologized and told him no, but that I would be more than happy to help buy some new things for her if they need them, and that he’s welcome to claim her next year since he needs my consent to do so.
He only gets her for 2 hours every Thursday, and then overnight every other weekend, so I also have to restock more often with less money than he and his SO make collectively (she helps provide at their home).
He got mad, went on a rant about how the one time he asks for help I’m unwilling to do anything, that his cost of living is higher, and said that he doesn’t want me helping him buy things for our daughter because that would be ‘pity money.’ But when he wants $2,000 that I don’t owe him by any means because I haven’t been receiving child support, apparently that isn’t pity money.
I apologized again and told him that they could have decided on a more affordable area to live in, he has my counteroffer, and it was his choice whether to accept it or not. He claimed that I said things that were insulting, and now he and his SO want to sit down with my partner and me to ‘sort things out,’ but I don’t even know his SO.
She’s made no effort to speak to me before, I have no interest in getting her opinion on whether or not I should give them that much money rather than helping in other ways. I don’t believe that they want the money for the baby at all at this point, but he’s still ‘disappointed.’ Am I the jerk?”
22. AITJ For Getting My Maid Of Honor's Tattoos Photoshopped?
‘So I (32 F) got married two months ago to my husband (35 M). We had a beautiful wedding and my childhood bff Jessica (31 F) was my maid of honor.
I had a themed wedding, my husband and I are both historians and we met because we were researching the same time period for our theses, namely the 1800s in Great Britain, popularly known as the Regency era.
The fact that we both researched the same time period was practically the reason why we started going out, so we instantly loved the idea of a themed wedding set in the Regency era, as it was sentimental to us and a beautiful way to honor our beginnings.
For my wedding, I personally paid for my wedding party’s dresses + hair and makeup.
Now Jessica has tattoos on her hands legs torso and neck. I brought up her tattoos and asked her what she would prefer to do with them to stay on theme. She said she wishes to do nothing, and while she understands the theme is important to my husband and me, she was not gonna cover herself up in any way, as she didn’t want to compromise herself.
I was a little miffed but I accepted this since it’s a fair boundary and so I didn’t push it. Plus gloves were an important part of the bridesmaids’ attire meaning most of her tattoos will be covered by the gloves itself and it was really just the neck tattoos I was worried about but the bridesmaid dresses had conservative necklines so it wouldn’t be very conspicuous, and so I thought I could just get over this and not worry.
However, on the day of the wedding, Jessica’s gloves were small instead of the big ones I expected the bridesmaids to wear and her dress’ neckline did nothing to cover her tattoos as she had altered it last minute. I did not expect this and was kind of thrown off, but after a while, I stopped caring and was busy having the best day of my life.
However fast forward to a few weeks ago, I got back the first set of pictures from my wedding day and the pics with Jessica in them were jarring, to say the least, because of her tattoos. It was honestly so out of place since I had asked my photographer to edit the pics to give them a historic portrait-like look.
I wanted a particular pic of my husband and I, our families + maid of honor and bridesmaids framed but if anyone saw that pic the first thing they would’ve noticed was Jessica’s tattoos, and not my husband and I.
I really wanted this one particular picture to look like an actual portrait drawn in 1810 so I went ahead and asked the photographer to digitally remove the tattoos.
The post-photoshop pic came in the mail yesterday and I showed it to Jessica, I knew she would get annoyed with this and I was ready to apologize sincerely, but also let her know that I won’t be returning the picture. Jessica was very very mad when she saw the pic and told me this was a narcissistic and disrespectful thing to do and stormed out of my house, she was more mad than I ever expected her to be so now I’m not sure if I was truly way out of line, or just a little bit selfish.
So AITJ?”
21. AITJ For Getting Annoyed At My Husband's Obsession With My Pregnancy?
“I (f 26) have been together with my husband Austin (m 35) for 3 years. He was married before me but divorced his ex-wife because she couldn’t have kids.
Ever since I became pregnant he did a complete 180°. He became obsessed with constantly watching my every move and breathing down my neck. He even hung photos of the sonogram! He also came up with a list of what I’m allowed and not allowed to do, like not driving, not eating certain foods, not working but I stood my ground and continued working, also not wearing high heels or watching certain shows or seeing family unless precautions were taken.
It has been exhausting for me already but he has made it 10x worse.
Yesterday, he woke me up at 7 am and said we had to go to the doctor, I asked why since I wasn’t feeling sick and he said he just had a hunch and I had to skip work and go with him to the appointment just to make sure because he felt something was wrong.
I said no but he went and called my boss and took the day off for me. I was just speechless but decided to just go to get it over with. We got there after he kept scolding me for things I did the night before that might’ve caused a problem – but literally there was no problem.
The doctor told us that but he asked her to check again and she did, he then asked her to check again then again… I couldn’t take it when he asked her again, I just got up, took my bag and walked out, and left him arguing with the doc.
I got into the car and went home immediately. He kept calling then came home and started yelling at me for leaving in the middle of my ‘examination’ and then leaving him at the clinic.
I blew up and told him I couldn’t stand his obsession anymore and that his paranoia made me feel paranoid and is beginning to affect my social life, mental and physical health, and my livelihood.
He looked at me and then said that I hurt him with what I said and that he was just trying to make sure the baby was fine and I was being aggressive and irresponsible towards him AND the baby this entire time, he said I was acting like a neglectful mother when the baby isn’t even here yet then left and turned his phone off.
This morning he’s acting distant and is expecting some sort of apology for what I did.
AITJ? Am I overreacting?”
20. AITJ For Being Mad At My Father-In-Law For Wearing Shoes On Our New Carpet?
“My wife and I had some people at our house to meet our new niece. Nothing big; a few aunts, a cousin or two, and FIL.
Two weeks ago we just finished a whole-house remodel. We had our kitchen entirely redone, our hardwood floors sanded and re-stained, and had new carpeting installed throughout the house.
Everything looks fantastic and my wife is beyond pleased.
So I came home from work and was the last to arrive. I came in the door and the first thing I see upon entering is my FIL sitting in the living room on the couch, shoes on his feet. Now this has been an issue with him for about the last ten years.
He has REFUSED to take off his shoes in anyone’s house, stating they’re ‘his feet’ and he ‘wants them covered.’
So I said a quick hello and then said ‘Hey FIL, this is brand new carpeting, we don’t wear shoes in here. Here, I’ll even take them so you don’t have to get up.’ He looks up at me from the couch and says ‘No. You need to drop this.’ This made me a bit mad.
This is not a new discussion and my wife and I’s opinion on this is well known. I told him this wasn’t a new rule and repeated the offer to take them and put them away for him. He got even more upset and asked me if I wanted him to leave and I told him ‘No, I just want you to respect us and our house rules.’ He refused. By now everyone was watching this exchange, my wife looked distressed, and my FIL wasn’t budging, so I kind of awkwardly said hello again to everyone and went upstairs.
After about ten minutes my wife came upstairs pretty mad and told me I’m being a jerk and I need to apologize. I felt I did come in a little hot and came down and apologized to FIL, but reiterated that the rule still stood. About ten minutes after that he left, earlier than everyone else and after barely spending any time with his granddaughter.
I know this is going to be discussed throughout my wife’s family; my wife’s aunt has probably already called everyone and told them everything. I feel I was in the wrong not at least greeting everybody before engaging FIL, but he was the first thing I saw walking in the door. He KNOWS this is a hot button with me, and he KNOWS his daughter and I have argued in the past about me requesting him to take off his shoes in our house and me getting upset when he refuses.
We still have guests here and I’m sitting here waiting for a ‘discussion’ with my wife when they leave. She thinks I shouldn’t have approached him in front of everybody and shouldn’t have been rude about it.
So, AITJ?”
19. AITJ For Not Being Happy About My Half-Sister Transferring Into My School?
“So I (18 F) was pretty much abandoned by my mom when I was a baby.
She moved on with a new guy and had two kids, Tia (15 F) and Ed (13 M). We all have the same last name cause mom didn’t marry my dad or their dad. When I was seven they moved away and my mom never called or anything. She just phoned on my birthday if she remembered it and sent birthday cards with cash and a picture of her and her family.
I saw my grandma till last year when she died cause my dad didn’t want me to lose a link to my mom. After grandma died my mom got her house and they moved back and their kids got admitted into the same school I go to. Okay well, we’re all in different grades so shouldn’t be an issue I can just avoid them, well apparently Tia was really good at basketball so somehow she gets on the seniors team even though usually it’s only grades 12 and 11.
Tia and Ed have reached out to me but I quickly stopped acknowledging them at all beyond passing to her during a game cause I don’t want to be their sister. They have their perfect family I don’t want any of it anymore. Like it sucks so much to see my mom come to our games, drop her off, and cheer her on when I never got any of that.
Honestly, I dip from games right away if I see her in the stands cause I don’t want to talk to her.
Things kind of came to a head this week cause they were taking photos for the yearbook for the basketball team and they were taking them in alphabetical order based on last name. I do not want to even show up next to her in the yearbook so when they lined us up I told the PE Teacher I was getting my surname changed to my dad’s last name and got my place switched. Tia got really upset with me and after the photos tried arguing with me and I just got mad and told her to go complain to her mom and she just called me a jerk for never wanting to be her sister.
My friends are split with some saying I should give her a chance at least to avoid making things awkward at school and my dad tells me I should reach out to my mom but my cousins are all on my side and told me I did the right thing. And so school is kinda tense so far today cause of it.
I don’t really know so I’m coming here to find out if I’m the jerk.
Oh, I am seeing a psychologist for my issues.”
18. AITJ For Being Mad At My Mom For Locking My Daughter In The Bedroom Whenever Her Significant Other Is Over?
“My partner (26 m) and I (24 f) both have jobs that have us work during the day. We both have a daughter (5 f) Sage. We live close to my mother so she offered to watch after Sage during the day.
However, about 2 months ago my mother started seeing this guy we’ll call him Mark. I didn’t know him and so I told my mother that I didn’t feel comfortable with him being at her house while she is babysitting Sage. She told me that he wouldn’t be there during the day and that he works very often so they only get to see each other every so often.
I believed her because she last my mother and we are very close. But the problem started when I was driving back to my house after picking up sage. She says to me, ‘Mommy I really have to pee can we stop somewhere?’ I asked her, ‘Why didn’t you go to grandma’s? We just left 5 minutes ago.’ My daughter proceeds to tell me that my mother locks her up in my mother’s room while Mark comes over.
At this point, I’m confused and a little mad because Mark wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place. When I get home I talk to my partner after Sage went to bed. He tells me that I should talk to my mother and I go to drop off Sage the next day. And I did that first thing I asked my mother was, ‘is Mark coming over while you’re watching Sage?’ And she tells me, ‘No. Why are you asking?’ I tell her what Sage told me, and she goes on to say that Sage is only 5 and she is making up stories for attention.
I tell her that Sage isn’t a liar and she knows better than to make up stories like this.
We go back and forth for a bit before I get her to fess up. My mother tells me that sometimes Mark comes over and when he does she locks Sage in her room so that they can fool around in the living room.
I blow up on her saying, ‘You’ve only known this guy for two months and you’re already having him over with my daughter here?! Not only could he have hurt you or her but you are locking her up in a bedroom so that you can fool around!’
I told her that she isn’t allowed to watch Sage anymore and she started getting angry saying that she wouldn’t have let anything happen to Sage and that she was allowed to do what she wants because it was her house.
I didn’t listen to her, took Sage, and went home. We haven’t gone back over there in a week I’ve had my sister watch Sage but I need to either find a reliable babysitter or quit my job. Those aren’t big deals but Sage really misses my mother but I’m just not ready to let her watch Sage.
My partner doesn’t want my mother to watch Sage either but now I feel kind of bad. Did I overreact?”
17. AITJ For Serving Food In Toy Utensils?
“I (m 17) moved in with my sister after my parents kicked me out for coming out (another story). They said I’ll be here temporarily til I get back to ‘normal’ which I don’t think I will, lol.
But uh… anyways, so I moved in with my sister and her husband about a month ago. For your information, she does everything around the house (I started helping here and there) as well as looking after a 2-year-old niece and now she’s 6 months pregnant. BIL does nothing because he’s the breadwinner as he claims but in my opinion, he’s taken it a bit too far.
e.g. He’d tell her to start his laundry once he takes off his clothes, put dinner on the table once he’s home, get the shower ready, and so on.
They fight a lot cause my sister is exhausted and burnt out. I usually put my headphones on and mind my own business but 2 nights ago there was a lot of commotion when I got home so I went to see what the issue was.
Turns out, BIL was complaining about dinner and my sister was too exhausted to get up. I mean the dinner was already cooked but he wanted her to put it for him on the table. I told my sister I’d do it, but instead of using their kitchen utensils, I used my niece’s toy utensils like a toy cup, toy plate, toy fork and knife, and a tiny napkin.
I put the food on the toy plate and the drink in the toy cup while BIL was in the shower. He then came into the kitchen and sat down and stared at the plate for a few seconds. He then looked at me and asked what this was, and whether I was joking. I told him if he wanted to act like a helpless child, then he might as well get treated like one.
He began yelling and my sister came inside. He then threw the napkin and stormed off upon saying that I’d disrespected him and that he’ll let my parents know about what I did. My sister saw what I’d done and started laughing. I went inside my room but the argument didn’t stop, now he’s expecting an apology for me for meddling in his marriage and pulling this crappy stunt on him.
I could be the jerk for this but I was just so mad for my sister and also sick and tired of being sick and tired of the nightly fighting over dinner.”
16. AITJ For Walking Out After My Father's Insulting Comments?
“I (F, early twenties) am putting myself through uni while I still live at home with my parents and my brother (19, M)
My family is what you would call a bit patriarchal. If I’m not here, my mother is in charge of every single chore. She cooks, cleans, looks after my father and brother, AND goes to work.
Now.
I’m generally the one who cooks lunch every day for both my father and my brother.
My father has taken recently to come home at lunchtime and the first thing he’ll say is ‘What have you made us for lunch, then?’ and he’ll sing-song it, like, very smugly.
I usually ignore it, but today both he and my brother were worse than usual.
Like, ‘Look at her, she’s becoming a real woman!’ and ‘Are you finally accepting that cooking is your duty?’ but like, they were talking among themselves about it.
(The joke here is supposed to be that I never liked cooking and was no good at it. I still hate it, but practice made me improve a lot)
I don’t know why it grated on my nerves.
I told them to please, stop, because I didn’t like the joke.
They ignored me and went on for a good five minutes just joking about the fact that I’m going to be the perfect housewife to someone at some point.
My brother told me to calm down because they weren’t insulting me but actually complimenting me on my new skill.
At that point, I said something like ‘If you keep this up, I’m going to eat in my room, I’m telling you.’
(Which is a capital offense, LOL. We can only get up after my father has gotten up.)
They ignored me again, and I went ahead and left the room.
My father is now furious with me, and my brother said I was a jerk.
I don’t think so, but I’m now doubting it.
Edit – There are 2 reasons why I didn’t just stop doing everything. The first one is that my father and my brother have the potential to make my life miserable, even more than it already is. And the second one is that I’ve already tried that. They went to my mother to complain.
She ripped me a new one and started leaving them food already made by her. I left their mess in the kitchen, and she was the one who ended up cleaning it all up, hours later. So just stopping would be counterproductive.
I’m in my last year of uni and my parents’ house is very close to my university. Moving out now would mean having to make enough money to pay for school (which I already do) and rent and stuff.
Rent is way too expensive here to choose to pay on a whim. Also, to be clear, I don’t object to helping out at home. I object to being the only one to do so, and to the way they treat me because of it.
Also, I would’ve moved out immediately after high school had they not told me that they wanted to help me get started in life and that they had set aside a school fund to help me with the taxes – which was a lie because there’s no school fund and even though I’m not paying rent, they still ‘borrow’ my money from time to time – money that then mysteriously proceeds to disappear.
I have a dog and I’m responsible for them. (I didn’t choose to have him, of course, my brother was the one who wanted him and swore up and down he would take care of him. My parents got him the dog and now I’m the one who’s in charge of him. I take him out/feed him/pay the vet and stuff.
He’s my dog by all accounts, but he’s not an insignificant responsibility. I need to go home at lunch to let him out/feed him).”
As for your brother and father. They are a lost cause. Your mother is an enabler and has set your brother up to be a horrible husband. Accept that, too. Your goal now is just to graduate. Good luck.
15. AITJ For Making Loud Nasty Noises While My Husband Was On The Phone With His Mom?
“My husband Kevin and I got married months ago, ever since we moved away, his moms started calling more often. She had a mental breakdown when she heard we were moving, she begged we stay near cause she ‘needs him’ though her 2 older sons are there.
Anyhow, she’d call at random times then started calling in the middle of the night, specifically at 2 AM.
I thought that was so weird but she said she wanted to hear Kevin’s voice but was too busy to call during the day. Kevin responds to her call every time saying he’s worried there might be an emergency… it’s exhausting and completely ruins our alone time. I asked her to call at like 10 but no, she kept calling at 2.
Kevin said he can’t bring himself to ignore her calls and asked that I be patient.
Last night, I decided I wasn’t having it, I waited til Kevin was asleep and put his phone on vibrate, and waited for her to call, 2 0’clock rolled around and the phone starts vibrating on the nightstand. I stretch my arm to answer and then I start making nasty noises from the bed, I’m talking full-on noises and then some dirty talk then moaning, a few seconds in and she ends the call.
Kevin wakes up and asks if I was alright I tell him it’s just the fever then he goes back to sleep.
I woke up to a complete disaster with Kevin angrily asking what I did last night when his mom called. Clearly, she was livid and mortified cause Kevin said I just ‘traumatized’ her by having her think we were doing something inappropriate when she called. I told him what I did and insisted it was just out of frustration but he said I shouldn’t have done that and embarrassed him, and made his mom ‘uncomfortable’.
I said she was calling at 2 AM! He said still, I acted childishly and potentially harmed his relationship with her. I told him to just tell her I was behind this and he said ‘Oh don’t worry about it, I will’ then demanded I apologize to her immediately but her shaming texts made me refuse.
I might’ve gone about this the wrong way but I was just frustrated that’s all.
AITJ?”
14. AITJ For Buying A Same Dress As My Sister's?
“I saw pictures of a dress that my mom ended up buying for my sister ‘Vanessa’ (16 F). I also liked the dress, so I later bought the same one.
It was a casual dress (nicer-casual, but still) so I didn’t think anyone should really care. Umm… I was wrong.
My family recently came to visit me at college out of state, and they saw it hanging in my closet (my closet door is hard to shut so I mostly leave it open). Cue lots of questions like: ‘You have the same dress as V?’ ‘Why did you buy that dress?’ And my mom told me that it would look ‘better on Vanessa’ because I’m pale and it’s the wrong shade of white.
Meanwhile, she said Vanessa’s skin is more like the model’s. She also insinuated that I was just jealous of how good it looked on V and that was why I bought it.
Later she talked to me again after talking to Vanessa, and said that Vanessa said that she ‘didn’t want me to ever wear that dress around her.’ V didn’t talk to me herself because she punishes people with the silent treatment when she’s annoyed with them and she’s been doing that to me for nearly 7 months now.
I can give you the backstory if needed but it’s kind of long. I responded to my mom that if V wanted to tell me that then she could do so with her big girl words, and she was old enough to learn that she didn’t own this dress design anyway.
My mom agreed they didn’t own the dress design but said that it was V’s fanciest dress, she’d worn it to a big church dance (I knew about this dance, I’d seen pictures), and I shouldn’t wear it around them or have bought it in the first place ideally without asking.
I asked what gave her the right to say I shouldn’t wear it around them. She said that she bought it FIRST and that gave her the right!
I decided to wear it for the remaining couple of days of their visit. Vanessa pretended I didn’t exist as usual and my mom got mad and made the same rude comments about how I looked in the dress compared to V (after pressuring me to go change didn’t work).
AITJ?”
13. AITJ For Telling My Partner To Replace My Phone?
“I (F, 32) met my partner (M, 37) about 9 months ago, he has 2 kids (4 & 6, both boys) from his previous relationships. His kids are adorable and I love spending time with them.
However, we do not live together yet.
So last week he had a work trip and asked if he could bring the kids to stay with me and I approved with 0 hesitation. The boys came over and we took the entire day doing fun outdoor activities. We got home in the evening and I decided to post one video I took of the kids playing with the snow.
I posted it and got a number of likes. I tagged my partner as a surprise to let him know how much fun the kids had, but when he got back he was furious with me for posting a video of the kids without permission. He pitched a fit and went on about how I overstepped, invaded his and the kids’ privacy, used them for ‘internet likes’, and betrayed the sense of security he thought I had for the kids.
I was flabbergasted by his reaction I said what’s the big deal and he literally started shouting at me and berating me insinuating I should never have done that.
He demanded I delete the video, and wipe it along with any other videos and pics I took of his kids off my phone completely. I was going to do what he asked but I found that he took my phone and threw it away.
He only gave back my SIM card. I lost it asking why he did it and he said that I created this situation and made him do this. I called him unbelievable and demanded he pays me for a replacement phone as soon as possible but he said he wasn’t responsible for my mistakes. I argued that he massively overreacted and he should’ve let me know he didn’t want the kids to be on cam and he just kept going on about how I violated his and his kids’ trust and privacy and how it’s never an overreaction when he’s trying to keep their privacy intact.
I kept demanding for a new phone and he’s refusing.
So AITJ? I do feel like I should’ve spoken to him but I think I have the right to not want my phone thrown out over a small mistake.”
12. AITJ For Not Wanting To Postpone Our Wedding?
“My fiancée and I got engaged around the same time as both of my parents (divorced, engaged to other people) I didn’t think much of it beyond that it was a strange coincidence but my fiancé expressed a couple of times that she thought it was weird that they were both planning weddings around the same time as their son and she felt most parents would want to focus on their child.
Recently she came to me and asked if we could postpone for a year. I was immediately concerned and asked why. She said that she didn’t like feeling in competition with my parents and it was ruining the experience for her. She feels bad about our wedding because we can’t afford for it to be as fancy as theirs.
My dad’s fiancée is doing everything super over the top and my fiancée feels ‘lame’. My mom’s is much smaller but the stuff she’s getting is really high-end. She also said she’s jealous of my mom’s dress and it’s really ruining the experience.
For some background, she and my mom hate each other. They’ve got to the point they are civil and we just don’t get together much but I know deep down they really can’t stand each other.
My dad’s fiancée is very braggy and likes to one-up people. I do get why that would bother her but I still can’t imagine postponing marriage a year.
I said she was being pretty shallow and it makes me feel like we are in for a life where she will be constantly disappointed because I’m never going to be able to buy her the things my dad and my mom’s fiancé can get their partners.
We are solidly middle class and I do work full time but that isn’t going to happen. She said I’m being mean and I should have validated her feelings. She’s pretty hurt right now and mad that I called her shallow and wants me to be fully supportive of postponing.
She isn’t going to my mom’s wedding and I support that.
We are currently distancing ourselves from my dad and his fiancée but I felt I had to be honest about my feelings and I don’t see this as a good reason to postpone.”
11. AITJ For Not Being Able To Respond To My Sister's Messages Regularly?
“My sister (45 f) and I (39 f) are having an ongoing issue and she’s getting more and more angry at me.
My parents are elderly and semi-disabled/have some dementia. My sister got them a caregiver for a few hours each day (all that we can afford right now, I won’t get into all the details but a government-funded PSW (personal support worker) wasn’t working out).
I live 20 minutes away from them and my sister lives 2 hours away from them.
She is very organized and helps them a lot. She’s there every weekend, she cooks for them, cleans, gets groceries, and does laundry.
I help too, but more sporadically. The reason for this: I am NOT organized. I also am on long-term disability for a physical disorder that flares from time to time and my partner has depression and often needs my help.
She feels since I’m closer and don’t have a full-time job like her that I should be there at least twice a week. I find it very hard to manage that, so I generally go out about once every 2 weeks. Sometimes more.
My sister starts giving me ‘tasks’. She’ll tell me ‘When you go there this week, please do this and that and check this and pick up that’.
I do try to do these things, but I’m not organized and I deal with my own issues, so I might not do one or two things. And I generally don’t do them on her time schedule. She’s getting annoyed all the time telling me I don’t take ownership of anything and I have no initiative, and the things she asks me to do are hit or miss.
I know this is true, but I’m trying.
The latest issue we’ve had for the past year: she expects me to respond to her messages regularly. I don’t have a cell phone but I have a messaging app on my iPad (I do have a landline and she could always call that in emergencies). I sometimes don’t check my messages on my iPad for a few days at a time.
She keeps getting angry with me saying given our parents’ issues I should be checking daily just in case she texts me so we can coordinate efforts to look after them.
I honestly just avoid looking at the messages sometimes because she is always texting me a ‘list’ of Things To Do when I go out that week. And she fully EXPECTS me to go out each week.
But I just can’t always manage to, and so I avoid looking at the messages. She tries guilting me saying our parents are old and sick and need our help, and I’m so close I should be ashamed that I’m not going out to check on them at least twice a week.
AITJ? I always have had a good relationship with my parents but I feel like I’m doing what I can, but my sister keeps trying to shame me into doing more (‘I work 40 hours a week and still manage to drive a 4-hour round-trip once a week to spend hours helping them!
You live 20 minutes away and can’t even get there once a week for a couple of hours to check on them! They are so lonely!’). So… AITJ if I go once every couple of weeks and do what I can?”
10. AITJ For Not Lending My Brother Some Of My Clothes?
“I (27 m) have a brother (16 female-to-male) who came out as trans about a year ago. To say the least, my parents are jerks so he lives with me currently.
I bought my brother some clothes – just some more generic lower priced clothes (about $750 spent so far) – since all his older stuff, in his words are ‘too fem’ and he doesn’t have a job and no support from our parents.
But he constantly asks if he can borrow my nicer clothes (nothing too crazy, but I have a few pieces that are… fat in the price department so I’d like to keep them in good condition).
In the beginning, I let him, but the dude is a slob – one time he came home, and the sweater (~$350) he borrowed looked like he kept wiping his nose on the sleeve.
It was nasty. Another time, a pair of pants (~$200) looked like he was legit just rolling in the grass with them – every time he borrows my clothes it looks like he just doesn’t care enough to keep them nice. Like, I don’t make that much, so when I spend way more than actually needed on an item, I’d like to be able to wear them for a long time – so I’ve barred him from borrowing any of my nicer clothing.
To say he’s mad is an understatement. He says I can always just clean the clothes since I would anyways, and I told him he could at least ‘attempt’ to keep them clean, like in the first place? I told him if he wants nicer clothes, he can get a job. It got to the point where I actually put a lock on my door to keep him out of my room.
He thinks I’m a jerk – I know I may be putting too much importance on my clothes and objectively, it is silly. Which brings me here, AITJ?”
9. AITJ For Not Wanting TO Celebrate My Birthday With My Family?
“I (25 F) have a 6-month-old son. His father is deceased, his father’s family doesn’t want anything to do with him and my own family (minus my dad) have told me that they don’t want anything to do with him either.
I’ve read and heard enough to know that I shouldn’t expect anyone to help me and that my kid is my own responsibility so that’s how I’ve been dealing with everything.
I work from home so I don’t really need a babysitter for work or anything either.
I’m okay, to be honest. I’m still dealing with grief and I’m kind of lonely but every time I talk to anyone they always remind me that they don’t want to deal with a baby.
For example, I sent my sister a funny post and before reacting to the post she sent me a ‘warning’ text saying that this doesn’t mean she’ll babysit. I DIDN’T EVEN MENTION MY SON?
Everyone does this to me, my mother, sisters, friends. They also act like I made a mistake for not terminating after my partner passed so yeah, I’d rather be lonely.
We have a family group chat and although I don’t bother texting on there after my sisters told me not to send any pics of my son because nobody cares except me, I do read their conversations to feel something I don’t even know.
Well, I don’t know how they didn’t realize I was in the group chat because you know – FAMILY GC – but they were talking about how they have a surprise party planned for my birthday and I lost it.
I burst into tears and immediately called my sister who was with the rest of the family.
I asked them what they were trying to accomplish after making me feel like trash for almost a year. She told me to stop being dramatic but I just kept going. I asked her and the rest of my family why they thought that I’d appreciate the party after months of them not talking to me or my baby.
My mom told me that she just wanted me to realize how difficult being a single mother is but I told her to shut up. I then told them all to leave me alone and don’t bother with the ‘surprise’ party. One sister called me a jerk and the others laughed at me saying that I’m being hysterical and overly dramatic and they definitely weren’t doing the party now or at least until I apologize.
I don’t want to apologize though. I don’t think I’m the jerk but my sisters and mother say that I’m overreacting and that this is exactly why I don’t have any friends. They say I’m the jerk. My dad found out about everything and came over last night and told me to ignore everyone but I can’t stop thinking about this.
AITJ?
Edit: My partner’s family is very religious and doesn’t like the fact that I had a baby out of wedlock.
My 2 sisters are in their mid-late thirties and don’t have children for whatever reason. They were supportive when my partner (I didn’t steal him from anyone) was alive but did make a few off comments about how fertile/young I am and how they’re not etc. I don’t know why they switched up and that’s also why I lost it.
My parents are divorced and my father is not in the GC. It’s my sisters, mother, and stepfather. I’m sorry, should’ve made this clear.”
8. AITJ For Locking My Husband Out Of The Room?
“I (F 33) am unemployed but God knows I had been looking for jobs (I’m a sales rep) for well over 5 months, right after I recovered from my knee surgery.
My husband has a high-paying job.
First, he suggested I leave my career as a sales rep behind (not up to his wealthy family’s standards, they’d mocked me for it a lot) and stay home but I refused because I love my job and want to grow in it. He suggested he finds me a better job since he has connections but that’s not in my field.
I’ve had several job interviews and my husband has ruined all of them for me and here’s how: he’d walk into the room whenever I’m having a potential job interview and introduce himself and take over the conversation with the interviewer, he’d tell them about how good I am but slip in some bad stuff that eventually cost me the job.
His argument was that he was just making ‘recommendations’ since he’s connections and ‘influence’ but I told him to stop and let me handle it. He sulked saying he was just trying to ‘guide me’ and whatnot.
Several days ago, I’d gotten a job interview and after getting inside the room and before the interview started I locked the door.
My husband tried to come in and started knocking on the door asking why I was locking the door and telling me to let him in. I put my headphones on and used noise canceling but he kept knocking telling me to open the door.
After the interview was over I unlocked the door and walked out. He went off on me calling me disrespectful and awful to lock him out like that.
I said I was sorry I wanted to work for this company so badly and I couldn’t let him ruin it for me. He got offended and said that I was being petty and childish and also ungrateful because of the stunt I pulled and said that he was trying to help me get the best deal out there. I said I’m not a child but he said that yes I was especially with how I behaved and for ‘excluding’ him from my interview.”
7. AITJ For Not Wanting To Legally Change My Name?
“When I was 11, I was extremely ill and for two months the doctors couldn’t diagnose it.
After several tests, they did a CT scan and realized I had an Epidural Hematoma. The problem was by then it was life-threatening and while they operated immediately, there were post-op complications. As a result, I was on extensive care for months afterward. During this time, my parents had to spend a crazy amount (on treatment) and time tending to my needs.
As a result, an imbalance stemmed from the attention my sister (F 13) and I received. In their attempt to compensate for this, they made the problem worse – they would take her on lavish trips and buy her expensive gifts (well over $1,000 and I’d get a $50 gift voucher). This favoritism also extended to smaller things, such as family time and nicknames (which form the premise of the story).
The Story: I (F 17) was born in a third-world country and my parents shifted to the USA when I was 3 years old. When deciding upon my name, they had strange criteria – they wanted a name that didn’t have a nickname since they thought that diluted its value. Thus, my name is extremely ethnic and not very easily pronounceable, which led to a lot of bullying growing up.
My parents always brushed it off, telling me to toughen up and stop crying over petty remarks.
In 2019, I finally started making friends (who gave me a nickname that was a shortened form of my surname). As it would so turn out, my sister’s (with a Western name and several other nicknames) friend used the same name. When my parents found out, they demanded I tell them to stop calling me that since it made her feel like she was in my shadow.
I told them that was ridiculous as they almost never interact with each other, but they refused to see reason – so to placate them I agreed.
I didn’t tell them though, since it sounded silly and I was happy I finally had a name that wasn’t mispronounced by everyone. I did stop inviting them over after that, instead going to their houses to catch up.
The global crisis was a saving grace, but recently when my friends contacted my parents to plan a surprise for my birthday, they used the nickname. My parents obviously blew a fuse and scolded me.
When I tried explaining my issue with not liking the fact that no one could pronounce my name, they refused to listen. Once it all calmed down, they asked me to consider legally changing my name since it bothered me.
They offered to cover the costs and told me I could choose whatever I wanted. I told them that I didn’t want that since the world doesn’t revolve around my sister and my name was my identity and what people in my country called me. They weren’t happy with that and called me entitled and uncaring towards my sister’s feelings.
I told them I didn’t care since nobody thought of me when they went around the world and left me at home. They grounded me and called me a jerk/selfish – but am I really?”
6. AITJ For Wanting My Sister To Get A Job As Well?
“I (15 f) have been wanting to get a job for a while to save up for this car I want. It’s in great condition and at a reasonable price (5k). I have chronic pain issues and part of those issues is standing/sitting in one place too long, I like to be active.
Well, I was going to wait a year to get a job because I go to a school where you work for the school and I’ll have my CNA by the time I’m 16 and my starting pay will be around $18-$20 (minimum wage in my state is $14.24) dollars an hour.
Anyways about the conflict: My sister (20 f) hasn’t done anything since she graduated high school in 2020.
She isn’t in college and she has NEVER had a job, she also doesn’t have her license. We are not rich and are a one-income household. My mom works two jobs and sat us down recently and said that she is exhausted and that working two jobs (most days she’s working 17 hours) is killing her and really affecting her mental health.
She said she knows it’s a horrible thing to ask her children but if one if not both of us could get a job and help out that would be great.
My sister threw a fit saying that this was too much and that she wasn’t ready to get a job yet and that I have to because I’m more capable than she is.
I told my mom that I would be more than willing to get a job but that my sister has to as well. My sister continued to throw a fit until I called her a lazy piece of work and that she was useless, she attacked me and then ran upstairs to hide in her room.
My mom said she understands and that she will talk to my sister and that this responsibility should not be put on a 15-year-old but that I shouldn’t have said what I said.”
5. WIBTJ If I Skip The Wedding Party Because I Got Demoted From Being The Maid Of Honor?
“Nearly a year ago, my best friend asked me to be her maid of honor.
I was so excited & I said yes & took the task very seriously.
I’ve gone dress shopping with her for her dress and went shopping with her for bridesmaid dresses as well. I’ve spent hours addressing save the dates with her, kept in contact with her bridesmaids about ordering their dresses/planning jewelry and shoes in the color she wants, I made sure someone could organize her bridal shower because I was out of state for work for 3 months, making sure they understood her wishes for the party.
I also personally took the time to look through her decor inspo and saved items on an Amazon list for her to go through so she could look at affordable options she wanted to purchase (which she was very happy about).
I also want to note – I have already planned her bachelorette party & just needed to call and finish the booking process completely as we are a little more than a month out (it’s being hosted in town & a very chill night as she requested).
I travel for work, and I turned down multiple jobs so I would be close for her wedding and events/if she were to need my help planning these last few months. This has resulted in me being out of work for the last 3 months because she was upset I was going to be out of state (there have been NO jobs close enough to home that made sense, as I’d have to drive back home multiple times during my assignment) (but I finally found a job – hooray!).
I literally rearranged my career just to be close by to help her.
It was a shock to me to receive a very lengthy text this week telling me she was going to have someone else take over as the maid of honor and she was demoting me to a bridesmaid BECAUSE – I told her I may not be able to attend the bridal shower due to work (I could only submit a request for the weekend of her wedding off), I would attend rehearsal but maybe not rehearsal dinner because I was under the impression I had to pay for dinner myself & it was at a very expensive restaurant AND because I cannot currently afford to get my nails done the day before the wedding, and I told her I likely won’t be attending that event either.
(Finances are tight with a new house, personal wedding planning, and a baby on the way).
She also feels I haven’t communicated with her enough, even though I check in at least once a month to ask if she needs me. I always end these convos by telling her she should reach out if something comes up. Also, apparently, my texts don’t come off as being ‘excited for her’, which makes her mad.
I guess she feels like I don’t want to be involved at all because of these few things, thus her stripping me of the position after I’ve done all this work.
This text also came right after I asked if we could have a backup learn how to bustle her dress in case my pregnant belly doesn’t allow me to bend and squat very well to do it on the wedding day.
Apparently it ‘saddened her’ that I even asked.
She said she needs someone who will be there for all events physically to ‘support her’. I feel pretty bummed and disrespected right now as if nothing I did mattered.
I am considering stepping down completely after this. WIBTJ for doing so?”
4. AITJ For Not Wanting My Mother-In-Law's Weeknight Visits?
“MIL and I have some issues. I think she is very self-absorbed and used to everything revolving around her. She thinks I came into her life and tried to change things and she does not react well to change.
I had a beautiful baby boy three months ago. MIL wasn’t too interested but has begun to recognize that this is important to her son who she is trying to rebuild her relationship with, so she has been showing more interest in the baby though I get the vibe it isn’t totally genuine, or maybe she does care but is just careful not to do anything which could be construed as helping me, I don’t know.
Anyway MIL is only willing to visit on weeknights and I hate it. My husband already doesn’t get home until close to six, so we only get a few hours of precious family time. Not to mention I feel like I’m expected to cook a nice dinner and it is just too much for a weeknight. I decided it didn’t work for me and I was only ok doing weekend visits.
My husband said he would support me, but I knew MIL was going to have an issue with it.
She is gone every weekend, especially with ski season coming up and I knew she wasn’t going to want to give that up for anyone. I informed her of our new rule and she pitched a fit. She said I am clearly trying to ruin her weekends as some weird test because she doesn’t fawn over the baby like my mom does.
She said I’m self-centered and a ‘psycho’ and why should she ruin her entire weekend for my child. My husband tried to shut this down, but she is convinced it is some loyalty test and is telling everyone how we are these awful control freaks. The entire family is taking her side and calling us controlling jerks.”
3. WIBTJ If Only Tell My Sister About My Pregnancy?
“My husband and I are discussing trying for our 2nd child. His mother/whole family was mad with our first we didn’t tell them in some creative way, we just kinda told them.
They made my ENTIRE pregnancy miserable. They make my life miserable when I’m around them but they stepped it up when I was pregnant. His mom stressed me out so much that I had horrible blood pressure and anxiety about being near her. I had hyperemesis (extreme, persistent nausea and vomiting during pregnancy) and was sick constantly to the point that I lost 42 lbs in the first 4 months.
They would tell me I’m fine and guilt me into going out or coming to parties or dinner. I’d spend half the time throwing up and would get called dramatic.
MIL told me she was disappointed I was pregnant. Ruined my baby shower because I let my sister plan it and not them. Like it was truly so awful we didn’t tell them when I gave birth and told them a week later.
His family would ask to cook us a meal we would say yes and then they never actually did it. Like not once. They threw fits when I didn’t bring the baby over on demand and called me lazy 2 weeks pp because our lawn wasn’t mowed and my c-section hurt so much for weeks.
My family never pressured me into anything.
They checked in, brought dinner, and never felt entitled to my time, especially during my recovery. It was great.
Now onto the issue. When we get pregnant next I want to pull a Kylie Jenner and not tell anyone but my sister until after the baby is born. Having nobody know sounds so peaceful and relaxing. My husband isn’t excited about that idea.
He thinks it would upset his family if we don’t tell them and while I know it would I 100% cannot go through my last pregnancy again. He knows they were awful and confronted them about it, but he still thinks we should tell them. He will ultimately do what I want but thinks I would be a jerk to not tell anyone.
So would I be a jerk if I didn’t tell anybody when I’m pregnant again?
Edit: We are currently in low contact with his family. My husband is a victim of their mistreatment as well. As anybody who has survived mistreatment knows it can be very difficult to cut off mean people. He spent almost 24 years putting up with their gaslighting and manipulation before he met me.
He does try to stand up to them but they are very good at making him feel horrible they pulled the pull the ‘oh we are your parents’ card and we supported you blah blah blah. They very much were the type to withhold love unless he was doing exactly what they wanted. When they start to act like this I think he turns into that scared little boy who only wanted to do things to make his parents happy and love him.
He’s a good husband and father and he really is trying.”
2. AITJ For Giving A Random Woman A Lecture About Parenting?
“So I (23 F) was out in a grocery store to get food for my sister’s upcoming birthday party. She’s turning 19 and is extremely demanding, so I was there for quite some time. I haven’t encountered situations like this ever in the store, so I’m asking if what I did was out of line.
Here’s where I may be the jerk. I saw a young woman, who looked like she was in her mid-20s, to be honest, with a young toddler boy. The toddler kinda stared at me like any kid would, so I waved. But some old lady who was behind me went to the woman and talked about how cute her son was.
The young woman seemed alarmed, but not offended and accepted the old lady’s compliments. Until she touched her son. The old lady attempted to pinch the boy’s cheeks and, well, she kind of exploded. She firmly says, ‘Please don’t touch my son.’ The old lady called her rude and says he was just touching his cheeks. The young woman kept telling her to get lost. The old lady just left after ranting about her some more.
I know people shouldn’t touch other people’s kids, but the young lady just cursing and going off in front of her son is what I found unnecessary. So I went up to her and said that maybe she shouldn’t curse, be rude, and go off on people in front of her own son. He might mimic your behavior or go off on you.
Plus you’re being too overprotective.
She just told me to mind my own business and said I looked like I never had any kids. It’s true that I haven’t had children, but I did babysit many of my siblings. One thing I’ve learned is that they mimic behavior. I kept trying to make her understand, but she just called me a jerk and strolled away.
I got home from the store and told my roommate what happened. She said I was a jerk to get involved and police how she raises her son. But I wasn’t trying to boss her around, I was just trying to give her advice. AITJ?”
1. AITJ For Telling My Stepdaughter She Can't Keep Hogging The Milk?
“My wife and I (both 40) have a kid each from previous relationships, mine is Connor (18 M) and hers is Sasha (16 F), my son has a significant other, Hannah (17 F) and both her and Sasha are lactose intolerant. Sasha spends half the month with us, so we always have normal and lactose-free milk, I’ll admit, Sasha’s milk is quite expensive because she only likes the certain kind that she can also drink alone and not with just coffees or smoothies.
Now the issue is, Hannah spends almost 3 to 4 days here and my wife and I don’t mind at all, but Sasha has complaint several times that Hannah drinks her milk as fuel during those days and barely leaves anything for her (we go to the supermarket every 2 weeks, Sasha can go to any nearby store and get more, tho, not the one she likes) and has asked us to either buy a gallon for her only and one for Hannah or tell her to go buy her own milk.
My wife decided to just buy Sasha a small fridge to keep in her room so she can store her milk and other things there which I find very disrespectful, I mean it’s just milk, we can always buy more.
This has caused Hannah to ask if she can borrow a bit of milk every time she wants to drink a coffee with us, and Sasha says yes, most times, but when she decides Hannah has had ‘enough’ milk, she says she’s almost running out (which is a lie).
A few days ago, before Sasha was about to come back from her father, my wife and I bought the groceries and I put the milk on the fridge, then Sasha came and attempted to take it to her room and I said that she wasn’t allowed to do it because it was for the whole house, so she had to leave it there.
She didn’t say anything and just went to her room, and about 5 to 6 hours after that, Sasha’s dad pulled over and bought her a gallon and told us that we didn’t have to buy any more lactose-free milk for Sasha since he’ll be taking care of it from now on, but that my son’s SO wasn’t allowed to have any, so we had to provide for her if we wanted to.
My wife is mad. She said we should’ve let Sasha have her own milk and bought another for when Hannah is here, even if it’s not as expensive, but I think Sasha is being a brat. AITJ?”
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