People Feel At Crossroads In These "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

"I, 55M, married my wife 53F 10 years ago but have been together for 13 years. She is a widow who had lost her husband 5 years before we had even met.

We met through a common friend. She and her ex-husband had 2 kids (10F and 9M at the time we met). They are now 23F and 22M.

They were not happy when their mom started seeing me and more or less told me they would never accept it.

I said that is fine, I am not trying to be their dad but can be their friend if they ever wanted. I left all parenting decisions to my wife but I made sure they never had any issues with education (private school) and other activities as well as funding their college completely as I did not believe in having them graduate with debt.

I guess they mellowed a bit later in years but they never treated me with respect and after a few years of trying to be part of their lives and going to their sports and after-school activities, I just stopped. My wife was sad but she understood where I came from but also respected her kids going their own path.

Now to the issue. I run an HVAC company and worked long hours to get it to a place where it's very profitable and have 15 men working for me. Recently a big company offered to buy me out for a big amount and after talking it over with my wife, I decided to sell and retire.

Will be taking trips and cruises to enjoy life. My stepkids came to know about the sale and at a family dinner a few weeks back they were asking me about it and my stepdaughter said I hope you leave a good amount for both of us as well as fund her upcoming international destination wedding. I laughed and said they got some nerve. I ain't leaving a dime to them. Will spend half of it and give the rest to my wife and the rest to charity. They got all upset and cursed me and said I was the evil stepdad and hated me and wished I had died instead of their dad. I told them to get out of my house and take a hike.

My wife is beside herself and feels I went too far and should leave something for the kids. I said no and said I would put it in my will that she can't share her inheritance from me with her kids either.

She isn't talking to me currently and things are tense. I don't feel I have done anything wrong but AITJ here and should I just put some money away for the kids to make peace?"

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. The stepkids are entitled jerks. I’d argue your wife should have put them in their place.

They accepted a free ride to college from a man they don’t respect and then have the audacity to put their hand out for more. Who even asks about money like this? I'd be looking at how you can protect the money now, in case of a divorce." Maximum-Ear1745

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. It's your money and you can do with that what you want. Your step-kids never accepted you as their step-dad, straight up told you that, never tried to have some kind of father/kids relationship and now that you have a lot of money pretend so you give part of it to them too?

You provided for their life until they were 18, paid for college even if they see you as just a normal man married to their mom. Still, if you end up leaving some to them for the peace of your family is understandable, you seem a good dad (you are even if your step-kids never acknowledge that). I hope that one day maybe they realize it." Pappalaya

Another User Comments:

"Not at all. They should never come back after saying they wished you had died instead of their dad. Saying that is sick and anyone who says they wish you were dead should be out of your life forever.

They are old enough to earn their own living and should do so and get off your back. And that wife of yours, did she hear them say they wish you were dead? Maybe she doesn’t deserve a cent either. If she isn’t speaking to you, she has taken their side, and once you are gone, you won’t be able to stop her from giving all the money she wants to them. Sorry man, you deserve to be treated more respectfully than this, by all of them, but more especially by your wife!!!" CantBelieveThisIsTru