People Recount Their Defensible Revenge Stories
47. I'm The Snarky Teenager's Production Director
“There was a farmers market in addition to auditions for a musical in the theater district downtown, so you can imagine how crowded it was that day. I had spent nearly thirty minutes driving back and forth waiting for a parking spot close enough to the theater that I wouldn’t have very far to negotiate the heavy props I had with me through the crowded streets.
Finally, a spot in front of the theater opened up. As I made my way to pull into the parking spot, a teenage girl from the car behind me jumped out of the passenger seat, ran in front of my car, and stood directly in front of me, blocking me from the spot. She motioned for me to move out of the way so that her mother could pull in.
I was furious! I honked my horn and waved for her to move but the girl refused. We were in a standoff. A line of cars began to build up behind me. I was clearly holding them up. The teenager gave me a snarky smile. What a rotten kid! She knew she had won. Reluctantly, I backed up and watched in my rearview mirror as the car behind me stole my space.
It took me twenty minutes to find another spot further away from the theater and lug my heavy props through the door. I apologized for being late. The Assistant Director of the show was running an exercise with the actors onstage which I had interrupted. I noticed the teenage girl who had jumped out and stood in my spot being among the actors. The Assistant Director asked everyone to take a seat. I sat down next to her.
‘Sorry for running behind schedule, I had a difficult time finding a parking spot.’ I looked directly at the snarky teenage girl and her face dropped as she made the connection. ‘My name is Wendi and I’ll be directing this production. Let’s start these auditions off with you…'”
46. Rude Passenger Doesn't Want To Fall In Line
“I wasn’t witty enough to deal with this spectacularly rude person myself but I witnessed it at a JFK airport when there was a major foul-up caused by snowy weather.
There was a long queue of passengers trying to re-schedule their flights when a deeply unpleasant man (the ‘PRAT’) barged to the front and insisted that the desk staff address his requirements first.
The woman behind the desk looked him in the eye and explained to the PRAT that he had to get in line and she would do everything she could to help him out when his turn came.
The PRAT then began to rant ‘… do you know who I am…’. Without pausing a moment, the woman picked up the telephone connected to the Airport loudspeaker system and said ‘… there is a man at the Delta Ticket desk who doesn’t know who he is. Is there someone in the airport who can help him…’ The PRAT then stormed off yelling ‘Screw you’ to which the woman said that he would have to get in line to do that too.”
45. Insensitive Woman Got Shamed In Line
“When I worked in retail there was this kid that dropped one of those Squig toys in the store. It sat there for weeks and no one claimed it… I was the screwball that claimed it.
Keep that in mind because it does play an integral role in this story.
For the uninitiated, a Squig is a little round rubber ball with two stems that flare out into suction cups.
I don’t have hair so, just as a gag I’d stick it to my skull just to mess with management from time to time. As I said, I’m a screwball. I don’t care. It’s just how I am.
So working in one of our many checkouts, there is the customer. I call them The Phonebooth.
The Phonebooth comes through your line yakking up a storm on their phone and you can literally derive every detail of the conversation just from hearing their end.
The Phonebooth was a rather attractive woman but obnoxiously talking on her phone. There’s a line of people behind her and that iPhone is grafted to the side of her skull. I pull out the Squig and stick it to my forehead, much to the amusement of everyone behind her. Kids are pointing and there are whispers going up and down the line.
The Phonebooth is still going on and on, not paying attention to anything.
I’ve got her purchases scanned through and bagged and we had just started doing the chip card thing with our machines. She’s swiping… and swiping… and swiping… and swiping, despite the instructions clearly displayed on the screen and finally, she looks to me and the phone magically becomes ungrafted from her skull and drops to the floor. I was hoping it had cracked the screen… it would serve her right.
‘You have to stick the chip end of your card into the reader,’ I inform her but she’s still giving me that look of surprise.
‘I was exposed to some pretty hazardous chemicals,’ I said, ‘It ended up giving me the super ability to be a human doorstop. It’s a lame superpower but it’s mine and I’m kinda sensitive about it so…’
She apologizes profusely and her face is turning red. Now she won’t bother looking at me. She finally gets done and will not look at me. She scrambles to take her purchases, violently avoiding eye contact with me, and hauls herself, almost leaving her phone behind.
When she left the entire line erupted.”
44. I Signed Them Up On A Mailing List For Years
“My mother-in-law from my first marriage was one of the most appalling people I have ever met. Stupid, vain, sickeningly bigoted, illiterate, mean-spirited, greedy, a hopeless heavy-drinker, couldn’t tell the truth if her life depended on it – I am not exaggerating in the least. She was despicable.
To frame my story… The mother-in-law hated everybody that wasn’t a white catholic. You had to be both. White people, who were also Jewish? Protestant Caucasians? Scum.
Blacks who were Christians? Still black. Asians, Indigenous peoples, gays, people who liked any music other than Kenny Rogers, liberals – She hated them all.
But there was something about educated black people that triggered rage in her that was truly nauseating to behold. The very idea that a black person would even dare to presume that they were smarter or more learned than her, a white-trash loser who had flunked out of high school before fleeing the slums of Louisville, Kentucky, and could herself barely get the kind of trash jobs which she felt all black people deserved, drove her near to madness.
She would see a TV show with a black doctor, and sneer and curse the TV, ranting about the utter impossibility of a black person being smart enough to be a ‘real’ doctor. The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King wasn’t a real doctor, she would declare – He was a big fat liar! George Washington Carver? Liar!
All of this was bad enough on its own – But, she had a special yearly tradition that was the rancid icing on the roadkill cake: Her favorite holiday, Christmas, required all of her family members to go into debt to buy her pretentious bling – She DEMANDED Cartier, Yves St.Laurent, Swarovsky – Or at least that’s what she would have demanded if she’d actually known those names.
She was so ignorant that she would show us catalogs from Kmart, featuring the cheap knockoffs of those prestige brands, and try to convince us that they were the same thing, and she wanted all of it.
We dutifully tried to satisfy her greed, but after a few years, we learned that it didn’t matter, because every single thing we bought her, AND her husband, she would gather up the day after Christmas and take back to the store of origin and return it all, and use the money to buy herself the rock-bottom trashy booze that she used to wash down her heart meds, because she was a big-city sophisticate now, don’t cha know.
And, Christ on a crutch, did she hate me. I quickly learned to never ask for anything. No matter what I requested, no matter how trivial, she would give me the same thing every year; A dollar bag of gym socks and a flannel shirt 3 sizes too small. And I didn’t wear flannel anyway…
(To add to the aggravation, she and her browbeaten husband were actually fairly well off – But she controlled every penny of it as ruthlessly as she controlled her husband, a meek little redneck who wouldn’t so much as pee his pants without her permission.
When she wasn’t showering herself with trinkets, she would try and use it to force petty ‘gifts’ on us that we never asked for and didn’t want – Gifts that were never real gifts, but were actually never-resolved favors, crushing, permanent debts which were required to be paid back a hundredfold.)
So. The final straw came one year, when she didn’t even get me the bag of socks – My sole ‘present’ was a 10% off coupon for a department store that had gone out of business three years earlier – And a demand that I start mowing their lawn in the spring.
I decided then and there that the next Christmas, I was going to give her and her craven, compliant husband a gift they would never forget. Something that they couldn’t return, or exchange, or stuff in a closet and ignore – It had to gnaw at them, and I wanted it to hurt.
I spent several months pondering it, and I finally decided on the perfect gift.
I went to my local grocery store, bought a hundred dollar money order, filled it out in the in-laws’ name, with their home address and phone number, and mailed it off to the United Fund, which gives scholarships for black students.
They got put on the mailing list, the fundraiser phone list, the Christmas thank-you card list… And some deserving, hard-studying kid somewhere got a bit of financial assistance – Maybe some tuition relief, some textbooks, food allowance, whatever – Something that would actually help.
And I did it again, and again and again, for the next seven years. Worked like a charm, too. It drove them to tear their hair out crazy, seeing as how I never told them that I was behind it all. I only stopped because the mother-in-law finally croaked, the wife and I split up, and I had some lean years where I could no longer afford to keep up the tradition for its own sake.”
43. We Snitched The Bully To Her Parents Upfront
“My brother is autistic, and as kids, we went to the same school. One day, when he was about 7, we came home from school and he ran to his room immediately and didn’t talk for the whole night. He refused to go to school the next day – but still wouldn’t talk, he just stared into space and hit his head on the wall. After asking his teacher what could be wrong the next day at school, she sighed and told me that one girl who was two grades ahead of him had told him he wasn’t allowed to play foursquare at recess because he was a ‘freakazoid.’ Some kids laughed at him and she chased him into the small hallway at the edge of the gym where a teacher had to eventually go find him, rocking back and forth.
While the girl didn’t know him, she lived near our neighborhood and had minorly teased him on the bus before, so I knew who she was. The next day was a snow day, and while taking a walk with a friend, we passed her house. She was outside, playing while her parents were shoveling. My friend and I threw a few snowballs in her direction to get her attention. I yelled at her, in front of her parents, ‘pick on someone your own size – freakazoid! You want to attack someone who can’t defend himself?’ Then we ran away. The girl’s parents found out what happened and forced her not only to write an apology but asked her teacher to make her miss recess for a few weeks.”
42. Do You Want To Get Your Phone Or Keep On Yelling?
“I was on a bus to Bangalore from Chennai, when a guy in the same bus started yelling at someone on his cell phone. He was using all types of cuss words in his conversation, half of which I didn’t even know existed. Every one of us started feeling very uncomfortable, trying as much as possible not to listen. But he was so loud, it was impossible not to overhear his profanity.
The conductor confronted the guy and asked him politely to lower his voice as there are kids on the bus, but he refused to oblige.
Just then, another guy went up to the driver and told him to stop the bus. Then came back to this yelling guy, snatched his cell phone, and threw it right out the window. Just when he was about to start yelling at this person, the driver started moving the bus. He calmly responded ‘You can shout at me all you want until I get down at the next stop. But if you want your cell phone back go get it now!’
The puzzled look on that guy’s face was priceless. Without another word, he jumped out of the bus. The Driver picked up speed, and we all were clapping.”
41. Must Follow The Dress Code? All The Men Will Show Up In Leggings
“My organization was acquired by a larger company fairly recently and, alongside the new CEO, we gained a whole new management team as those previously in the roles were forced out the door. The old team was fairly lax, as long as productivity was good and we were meeting our project targets. The new team was the exact opposite – we were now met with micromanaging, nitpicking, and just general pettiness.
Many people quit and most who stayed were actively seeking new employment, literally taking job interviews over lunch. Which brings me to the malicious compliance.
We were made to attend what was essentially a glorified employee orientation session to learn about how things would be under new management. And also to be lectured about the ways in which we hadn’t been adhering to policy thus far. None of the policies really changed significantly, but management’s willingness to enforce these policies had apparently increased tenfold.
The employee dress code came up. They mentioned it would be enforced, as they could tell it had not been before. It was fairly standard but people were annoyed since it seemed needlessly petty and we already felt an insane amount of vitriol towards the new management team.
One highlight of the employee dress code included the provision that ‘acceptable’ bottoms were limited to skirts, leggings, and dress slacks – with jeans being permissible on casual Friday. One of my male coworkers attempted to argue that it wasn’t fair that women could wear ‘skirts or pajamas’ but men were limited to dress slacks – it was a double standard that men could not be comfortable. It was ineffective.
So, naturally, that Friday, dozens of men arrived to work in leggings – an amazingly coordinated feat of malicious compliance.”
40. Want The Meeting To Start Early? I'll Be There
“My partner works at a company that provides warehousing, product prep, and direct-to-consumer services to other companies. She works in their office dealing directly with several key accounts but also has a few lines that she manages. The lines are responsible for prepping and building shipments. The line workers will gather in the morning and wait for their daily assignments, as well as any direct-to-consumer orders, from my partner.
This detail is important. The other office workers help manage some accounts, but do not manage the lines or direct to consumer orders, nor do they know how to.
She comes into work one day and finds out they have a new director, and he wants to start organizing, streamlining, etc. Ya know, the things the new important person does to make it look like he’s giving it his all.
His first order of business is to have a mandatory daily meeting at 8 am with everyone in the office that ‘will take no longer than 15 minutes.’ My partner requests that the meeting starts at 9 am instead, as the warehouse workers will be doing nothing but waiting around for their assignments otherwise. The director, probably not wanting to look like he’s playing favorites on his first day, puts this to a vote, and, surprise, the other people want to start first thing in the morning, as they have nothing else to do at that time.
So my partner says, ‘Okay if they want to start first thing in the morning, that’s no problem!’
The next day, the meeting begins as soon as everyone arrives, and as they gather and the director begins talking, they hear the various lines start calling my partner’s name over the radio in the distance. Five minutes go by, and now people begin wandering into the office. Ten minutes and a small group forms.
Fifteen minutes, and people are coming and going patiently waiting for her, as she is ferociously tapping her pen on a clipboard. At this point, the director pipes up with a less than sincere ‘Well, you look rather anxious, so if you have someplace to be, you can go if we’re keeping you.’ She responds with a candid and rushed ‘thank you so much,’ and runs away to take care of her lines and process consumer orders.
The new director, after this conversation, spoke with the owner of the company.
To his credit, the director later that day sought out my partner and recapped what she missed at this meeting, which ultimately ran for over 45 minutes. He also explained that the owner of the company informed him that she has the most responsibility of anyone in the office, generally can be relied on for anything, and is hands down his best employee.
The meeting is now at 9 am.”
39. I'll Go Find My Own Water
“My 3-generation family went to our favorite old-fashioned amusement park a couple of hours from home. We never had extra money, so we packed sandwiches & planned to buy beverages for our lunches. My mom had been driving. She suffered from severe migraines — was even studied at Johns Hopkins about hers—and she had a particularly vicious one that day. As soon as we arrived, we found an outlying picnic table in the shade, and I took orders for each person’s beverage choice.
Mom said all she could handle was water. Most of us wanted coffee or iced tea.
I placed our order at a very old-fashioned style snack trailer where one side had been converted to resemble a cafeteria counter. 4(?) cups coffee with various additives, 3(?) iced teas with various additives. I was wondering how I would keep everything upright in the 2 cardboard boxes when the cashier told me they didn’t sell water.
What beverage should she substitute?
I tried negotiating. Explained why it needed to be just water. Offered to pay full price for an empty Dixie cup, etc. No. No. No. (sadistic sneer) ‘Okay then. Coffee. With what? I don’t know… Oh, cream and sugar.’ Paid for the additional drink. As soon as it was released into my hand, I neatly poured out the contents as far as I could reach along the counter, then gave the cup a quick shake.
I gathered everything up and headed to a water fountain. ‘Thanks for the water!’”
38. Force Us To Meet During Christmas Break? Let's Plan It On Christmas Eve
“Today’s story comes from the world of education, where teachers are burnt out, overworked, and underpaid. Due to an influx in federal funding, our district decided to put the funds to good use. Did they give much-needed raises? Hire more aides? Update our 60-year-old building? No, even better! They hired several educational consultants to ‘coach’ us on how to do our jobs. This alone was very insulting to most teachers, many of whom had been teaching longer than some of the consultants had been alive.
Thankfully, many of the new consultants didn’t really impact our day-to-day work, but there is one who is particularly difficult (I’ll call her the panther for reasons known only to me and a couple of colleagues, but it’s a nickname she comes by honestly). The panther continually adds to our workload, insults teachers with snide remarks, and talks down to the staff. At one point it got so unbearable that the most experienced teacher in our department simply got up from a meeting, told the principal to get a sub, and drove away.
One of the biggest issues has been a sharp spike in unneeded meetings as consultants work to justify their contracts. We meet to discuss data, testing, plan units, or do everyone’s favorite… team-building activities. However, all is finally looking up. As every teacher knows we are nearing the most wonderful time of year, Christmas break. We will get 2 glorious weeks of not being harassed by students or administrators.
Enter the panther.
We received an email at the end of last week from our consultant telling us we needed to have a meeting over Christmas break to plan unit 4. She told us we could pick the day and time and then send her the zoom link and she would join to lead it. Needless to say, the department was very unhappy. We had all already planned the unit anyway but the panther said she needed to be involved in any planning and insisted the meeting was necessary.
Finally, my department head had had enough. She planned the meeting as instructed and sent us all the link for the zoom session. The meeting was planned for 11 PM on December 24th. We all instantly accepted the meeting time and confirmed that we would attend. For some reason, the panther wasn’t happy with the meeting time. She pushed back, griped to an assistant principal (who backed us), and tried to get us to change but she got the same answer everywhere: you told them to schedule a meeting, so either attend or cancel.
37. Need Your Sandwich To Be Exactly A Foot Long? Coming Right Up!
“Back when I used to work in a sandwich shop whose specialty was foot-long sandwiches, there was a small media storm about how our sandwiches weren’t actually a foot long. Lots of people jumped on social media showing a ruler next to their sandwich and tagging the company.
We got notified about it in a staff email, but they really didn’t care for two reasons:
1) It was dumb
2) It was only the bread, the ingredients were the same regardless.
(For anyone who hasn’t worked for them, the meat is pre-portioned by weight or quantity of slices, cheese is 4 slices, and the salad & sauce is unlimited)
So if your bread was 11” or 12” (footlong) you still got 4 slices of ham, or two chicken patties, or the obscene amount of lettuce.
One quiet afternoon, a customer from 15mins ago saunters back into our store and stands her (now-squished) sandwich up on its end on the counter, holding it against a ruler.
She gleefully exclaims that ‘this isn’t twelve inches!’ with a smug look only a Karen could pull off.
I jumped in to avoid my staff having to deal with this witch and attempted to politely explain the above points. About how the meat & cheese are the same no matter the variances in the bread sizes, and that everything else was unlimited, but she rudely interjected:
Karen: (holding her hand up in a stop sign) ‘I don’t need you to make excuses, this sandwich is not the full 12″ and I want it fixed.’
Me: ‘Fine, no problems at all.’
I unwrapped her sandwich to find two bites already taken out of it and figured she just wanted to get a fresh new sandwich out of us.
Being the witch she was, I wasn’t allowing that to happen – I went to the bread cabinet and pulled out a tray and started measuring each one until I found one that was almost 13” (bread proofs and bakes however it pleases so when it’s handmade this is expected by any reasonable person).
I whip out the bread onto the make bench and start cutting the bread like I would any other sandwich, only once I put the knife down do I promptly scoop up her sandwich and tip all the contents onto the new bread.
It looked pretty haggard to be fair.
She was just standing there, mouth half agape, and didn’t say anything.
I gleefully asked her if she would like me to add any extra sauce and she sighed so hard I almost felt the wind off it: ‘Yeah I guess.’
After, I wrapped up the sandwich in fresh wrapping paper and as I passed it to her stated: ‘This one is definitely 12 inches’ with the same smug grin she gave me.
The witch shuffled out the door but later called the store owner to complain. The owner and I were on great terms as he directly picked me to be the supervisor I was at the time, so after asking for my side of the story he basically told Karen to suck eggs. She didn’t get anything out of us.
The whole media situation was a nightmare for him, so he thanked me for handling it the way I did and not wasting extra food.”
36. Is This Really The Example You Want To Set For Your Daughter?
“My better half is generally a timid person but she can be fiery at times when irked beyond a limit.
This happened at Wagah Border, Amritsar (India). Those who’ve been there would know how crowded and mismanaged it gets while queuing up for watching the Change of Guard Ceremony.
There was this guy in their early thirties along with his wife and a Lil daughter (aged 4–6 years).
Now many of us Indians have this irksome habit of trying to get VIP treatment and finding a way to jump the queue. This fellow first tried to jump the queue along with his family. He blatantly pulled aside the queue manager ropes and tried to make an entrance through an alternate entry point. When being confronted by a guard he started throwing his weight around by citing his connections, references blah blah and had almost convinced the guard to make him and his family go in much earlier than others.
We were all very frustrated standing in queues under the scorching sun and some of us confronted him. He just painted his face with smugness, hurled expletives at a few of us, and started hauling his family in through the alternate entrance.
I also tried to tell him to back off and mind the queue to which he barked with some unruly language and I was contemplating whether to keep arguing or just be quiet.
My wifey suddenly asked his wife in a tone loud enough for everyone around to hear: (pointing towards the little girl) ‘Is this Lil one your daughter? Wow! You must be so proud of your husband raising her with these manners!’ and also proceeded to make clapping gestures. The guy suddenly went quiet and his wife actually pulled him back and rather than trying to attend the event they started walking towards the car parking!”
35. I Should Leave The Ice Cream? If You Say So
“So in the mid-90s during sophomore year of high school, my friend Trevor and I decide to take near full-time jobs doing night stock at a grocery store during summer break. Trevor gets assigned to work frozen foods, ice cream, etc, I get assigned production which was opening all of the boxes, putting the products on the right floats for the aisles, and then once the truck is unloaded stock the paper products aisle.
Night stock employees are full of interesting characters. The night stock manager is named Don, and Don isn’t quite right. He drools, slurs his speech, and is kind of an irate jerk who is always right, making him a somewhat unpleasant individual to work for.
We had two powered pallet jacks, but one of them was destroyed the night before when Don had started to unload a truck but didn’t realize the driver was still moving the truck, so it fell off the dock and almost crushed him.
The very next day Trevor had just pulled a pallet of ice cream out the freezer using the remaining jack and was stocking the shelves when Don demanded that he ‘drop everything and bring the jack’ to unload tonight’s truck. Trevor resisted and tried to explain he needed to get the ice cream in the freezer, at which point he was cut off by Don who restated to immediately come with him and to do what he was told.
Trevor complied and left the ice cream to help unload the truck with the jack. About this time the produce truck shows up also and needs unloading. Trevor, being the ever-compliant employee follows Don’s orders to unload the second truck.
Hours have gone by. I am stocking the paper aisle when the floor crew comes by physically distraught. The forgotten pallet of ice cream is much shorter than it was, and there is a slick mix of ice cream oozing out from underneath and heading to the floor drains.
Don runs over and loses it, tells Trevor he’s fired. Trevor cusses out Don and leaves.
In the morning the store manager shows up and is briefed as to last night’s hilarity. After the manager asks around and gets a better picture of the event, he calls Trevor, promotes him to assistant frozen food manager, tells him he no longer reports to Don. For the rest of the summer, Trevor spent his time handling frozen foods and making Don’s job harder whenever possible.”
34. Parents Of Unruly Children Finally Got The Message
“I was on a day train traveling from Mumbai to Ahmedabad. Along with me were about 4-5 small children along with their parents.
Throughout the journey, the kids acted exactly as little kids do, screaming and shouting and basically ruining the journey. Let me insert here that the train left Mumbai at like 7 in the morning, meaning most people must have been up since around 5, and thus were mostly sleepy and we’re hoping for a quiet ride wherein they could take a little nap and then read a book or something.
I, my mother, and my grandparents were also interested in the same.
But the little troublemakers were creating an utter riot. And worse than that, even the parents were talking in loud voices. In a typical air-conditioned chair car in India, we have about 78 seats, and I assure you that all the passengers could clearly hear what these families were talking about. The children were also running around in the coach, screaming, disturbing everyone.
As we pulled into Ahmedabad station, I was thinking about saying something to these horrible people, but I knew that I most likely wouldn’t get an opportunity. But luckily for me, my grandfather asked me if I was finally ready to disembark.
I jumped at the opportunity. In my loudest, calmest voice I said, ‘I want to run off this train. Such a terrible ride, such horrible children.
Not even their own parents can control them. They are also making so much noise. Worst journey ever!’
Believe me, all the adults just went quiet. (Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for the children)
Everyone in the coach was staring at me, while I was ignoring everyone and stuffing my book into my bag.
My mother held my hand and shushed me, telling me to not say anything else in fear of causing an argument, but all the while smiling as she was also irritated with them.
Immediately after, the parents grabbed their children and told them to quiet down.
Finally, as I was collecting the luggage and getting down, I could see all our other passengers smiling at me.”
33. I Know My Way Around Your Car
“Years ago, I attended a University a few miles from my flat. A good friend lived a block away from the University. He didn’t drive, so his parking spot was empty. He let me park there whenever I needed to attend classes. Perfect!
One day, I returned from classes and found a VW Beetle (old style) parked about a third of the way across the driveway. My car was a wonderfully simple (and small) Triumph Spitfire… Although I might have been able to squeeze past this jerk’s car, I didn’t want to perhaps damage my baby (I should never have sold that car!), so I decided to try some other tack.
Since all I wanted to do was get my car out of the drive, letting the air out of his tires, or somehow or other disabling his car wasn’t a viable option. So, I checked out his car and saw that although he had locked the doors, he hadn’t fully shut the passenger-side door. Knowing this car style (an old partner had the same year car.
You can tell by the tail lights), I knew that all I had to do was to bump the passenger door shut, and the door would unlock itself. This is a fault with many older cars.
So, I bumped the door shut, and sure enough, the passenger-side lock popped up. I opened the door, reached across, and unlocked the driver’s side. I hopped in, took the car out of gear, and took off the parking brake.
Big smile on my face!
Now, I’m a big bloke, about 1.9 m (about 6′2.5″), weighed about 15 stones (about 212 pounds), and was playing center back on my footy team, so I was in shape at the time. And I’m still smiling about this…
It’s a quiet neighborhood, without much traffic, so I got out, left the driver’s door open, AND I PUSHED THE CAR INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE INTERSECTION.
I calmly put on the brake, set the gear in third, and locked it (properly locked, so probably only the driver with the key could unlock the car). I got into my beautiful yellow spitfire, backed carefully into the lane, and drove home.
I never did hear what happened to that car. But I’m sure that tosser never did that again!”
32. Woman Doesn't Want The Noise Of My Friend Cleaning His Boots
“Madagascar, 1991, Isalo National Park. It’s the dead of night – actually, 3 am – when a small group of Italians arrived next door to my room in the Park’s lodge. And they proceed to treat 3 am as if it were 3 pm. So, no more sleep that night, but being an early riser, I know that my turn is soon to come. Thus at 6 am, I was dressed and out of the room, standing next to theirs, their screen door in my hand, slamming it shut, slamming it shut, slamming it shut…
Until a bleary-eyed Italian woman emerged.
What’s this? she asked. Very politely, I asked her if she enjoyed being woken up by the noise because we surely didn’t when they came in at 3. She nodded and apologized. Point made, case closed.
Except it wasn’t. My friend decided that this was the time to beat the mud off his boots. Being considerate, he did so at the farthest end of the courtyard. Boom! Boom! Boom! I was still standing by the Italians’ door, mulling over nothing in particular, when the door flew open, and the same Italian woman ran out, and immediately delivered a stinging slap across my face. Meanwhile, my friend is still Boom! Boom! Boom!-ing across the courtyard. The woman’s eyes got large – she’s realized she’s made an awful mistake. Hugs, apologies, contriteness followed.
She and I are friends to this day, still. Sometimes life makes lemonade out of lemons… But indeed, Italians are volatile people! They add spice to life, for sure.”
31. Won't Act Neighborly? I'll Just Have To Kill You With Kindness
“I lived in a rented duplex house (side by side apartments) where the other tenant and I took turns mowing the lawn using his lawnmower. It was never an issue. Sometimes I mowed the entire lawn and sometimes he did. Sometimes we did it together. When he moved he took his lawnmower with him.
When the new tenant moved in she announced to me that she had a lawnmower and if I wanted to use it I would have to pay her $10 each time I used it, but if I mowed ‘her half’ of the lawn I could use her mower for free.
I found that to be not necessarily rude or mean, but very un-neighborly. I grew up in a neighborhood where lawnmowers and other tools were shared. The sound of someone taking our extension ladder or lawnmower, etc. on a Saturday morning didn’t give us a moment’s start.
So I purchased my own lawnmower and proceeded to mow ‘my’ side of the lawn and ‘her side’ for about a month and a half. I made sure she was home when I was doing it. Eventually, she apparently felt guilty and approached me and offered to alternate the lawn mowing duties.”
30. I Don't Sign For Rude Girls
“I am a shareholder of an exclusive club in my city, the only way to get inside is by owning a share or being invited by a shareholder. You can expect it to be full most days and usually, gold diggers find places like this as perfect opportunities to use men.
Friday night and I received a text message from this unknown girl begging me to sign her so that she could have some fun with her friends.
I was in a relationship at the moment and didn’t want any trouble so my initial response was to refuse. I tell a friend about this girl and he also refused, I started to feel sorry for the girl and finally signed her entrance.
She takes a glimpse at me and my friends, looks at us with disgust and her friend asked: ‘Are these the guys that signed us?’ And left to the bartender.
There was no ‘Thank you for signing a complete stranger’ nor ‘What do you do for a living?’ type of formal statements you would say to someone that showed you a little gratitude.
This was the rudest thing someone could have done to us, and I felt used.
Next weekend she asks if I knew someone that could sign her for another exclusive club in the city, I offered myself to sign her and her friend the other night. I waited for her at the club that day and at the entrance, I saw her and told the guard:
‘Are these the girls that I was going to sign? I changed my mind.’
I signed three random girls that were also waiting at the entrance that night who were grateful, I never felt better!”
29. I Guess Our Pregnancy Is Pretty Obvious
“My friend and I went to the pharmacy to pick up medicine for her daughter and both of us were heavily pregnant (as in we both gave birth within a month of this event). The male cashier was staring at our bumps, from when we entered this small chemist’s shop, gave the prescription in, and were waiting for the pharmacist to get the medicine, and it was really uncomfortable.
My friend said quietly to play along with her, so as her daughter’s name was called and we went to collect the medicine she said to me:
‘You know I just don’t know what’s wrong with me, maybe I should get a pregnancy test because I’ve not had a period in a few months and I keep gaining weight…’
So I continued… ‘Well, I might do the same as I seem to have gained some weight and I am constantly needing to go to the toilet…’
At this point, my daughter turned around inside my tummy and it was completely obvious even through my clothes that there was a full-term baby in there…
The boy turned beet red and said something like, ‘I can tell you both that you are pregnant and save you the funds for the test.’
To which my friend said, ‘Well if you are such an expert on the subject I don’t see why we were such a fascination for the entire time we have been in this shop.’
We got the medicine and left.”
28. Force Me To Squeeze My Car In? Have Fun Getting In Your Car
“So I’m driving into a parking lot to get my car headlight fixed. It’s one of those stores where if the staff help you out in fixing something you’ll need to make sure you’re parked in their designated lot. This particular lot has a mere dozen spaces (city center location for you!) It’s a Saturday and it’s busy, but there’s one space left.
This space is available, had the moron on the right not parked his trashy little run around over both his space and the empty one.
This left just enough space for me to park but have to squeeze out of my side of the car, which I was fine with because there was nowhere else I could park legally.
So I swing my car into the space and switch off my engine. By this point, my significant other is in the passenger seat looking at me like, damn, that’s cold, as the jerk driver looks at me stupidly.
Turns out his very large girl was standing behind both cars with her hands on her hips, proclaiming she ‘wouldn’t be able to get in now!’ So the driver gets out of his car and looks over to me (not saying anything though, this being Britain and all the consensus is that the best way to get what you want is to look pointedly at someone and not say anything at all) I just smile back at him sweetly and open my door to get out.
He just sits back in the seat, slams the door, and reverses with a squeak of tires so he can let his girl in on the other side.
I honestly only wanted to park. But I managed to get him to leave without any hassle at the same time and that kind of outcome in this city and country is music.”
27. No Gifts For The Wicked
“I was working on a summer internship project with 6 other interns, all college undergraduates. While I got along fairly well with 5 of them, and consider myself a relatively cooperative team player, the sixth one always found a way to get under my skin. He did not seem to respect women in general, and would constantly criticize my work. I was to blame apparently, for breaking his code, when I had created a branch in the Github repo and made my own separate commits.
(He also had this crazy idea that Github credited me with all of his work when I did a merge because the Github Desktop app removed the dots, and apparently I was taking his credit. Oh, and supposedly, according to this master programmer, using the command line tools for Github was only for novices, and everyone who had half of a brain had to use the GUI interface… which is a pretty desktop app but still, really?!).
Even though he was usually wrong in his criticism and would grudgingly admit it later if asked again, I felt under attack from his daily attacks. Additionally, he would in the beginning ask me what I was working on, and then take the half-finished product out from under my feet and take all the credit. Adding that onto a condescending, loud, and rather obnoxious attitude, I could barely keep myself together and focused around him.
So, at the end of summer, I wrote beautiful thank you notes for everyone in my group and got them small presents of their favorite snacks. While I felt slightly guilty for doing this, I was mildly satisfied for not giving him a thank-you card or a goodbye present. I tried to avoid any cruelty by not giving the other people presents in front of him, but they did express their thanks in his presence, which may have tipped him off that he was left out.
There are 5 love languages, and my primary love language is gift-giving. I still feel a bit bad for not getting him anything, but even in the depths of my shallow soul, I have no love for him.”
26. Irritating Boys Called Me A Liar So She Snapped
“This is from when I was in the 12th standard and was returning from school. I used to cycle all the way to the railway station, leave my bicycle in the stand outside the station, and board a train.
This special day, my bicycle got punctured and my dad dropped me on his way to the office. Now I had to walk back home from the train station, a good 30 minutes.
I was planning on taking a shortcut. I had walked hardly 10 minutes when I reached a very long lonely alley which led to an open playground. On the alley, I felt like I was being followed and turned back to see two young boys following me on a motorcycle, so I started walking fast. They too noticed my fear and started teasing passing lewd comments on the size of my skirt and how I walked.
I was hoping I’d reach the end of the alley soon before they do something and get away because actually, no one was passing by there then. So I finally reached the open playground when from the corner of my eye I saw the pillion reach out his hand towards me.
I got scared shocked and angry and a mixture of many feelings led somehow my reflexes to work fast.
I don’t remember how, but they were so close that I grabbed that guy by his hand and collar and pulled him out. This movement of him made the driver disbalance as he was planning on speeding and he too lost balance and fell.
I started kicking him as he lay on the ground and he tried to cover his face. I know he was hurt but I was furious and not thinking straight.
He didn’t even resist. I don’t know what made me angry but as he tried to save himself I squatted over him and started slapping him left right repeating all the comments he passed earlier.
Now there were young boys playing football and their parents watching them play. They started shouting and running towards me and some of them towards the fallen rider. A lady got a hold of me and a man pulled up my victim and inquired about the prior happenings.
I explained to them what happened and without losing a beat the boy had the galls to say, ‘this lady is lying’. The next thing was that woman’s reflexes too worked as fast as mine. ‘Lying huh? Lying? She isn’t lying you are,’ she screamed, gave him a very tight slap, and threatened both to take them to the police. I don’t know what happened to them later but I was asked to leave. I started crying and left.”
25. She Has A Memory Of A Goldfish
“First story: In 7th grade, we were sewing stuffed animals. This one annoying loud obnoxious girl that no one really likes was being very rude to other people and talking back to the teacher. Now our teacher we had was one of my favorite teachers of all time and I didn’t really like that this girl was being so rude.
I was finishing up sewing my stuffed animal when the girl comes up to me and says, ‘your stuffed animal is ugly, I could do soooooo much better.’
I’m normally quiet unless around my friends but something came over me and on instinct, I said, ‘Well so are you, but I’m not complaining.’ And I heard a gasp and the room went silent (It wasn’t a big room) and I just kept sewing but I was kinda nervous on the inside.
The girl then said, ‘What did you just say to me?’ Followed up with, ‘Did you just call me UGLY?’
I said, ‘Yeah, I’m sure your mirror does every morning as well.’ And she opened her mouth to talk but THANKFULLY the bell rang I just fast-walked out the door.
Second story: I run cross country, and I come into class after running a Saturday meet. I’m not that fast of a runner, and that weekend was the first time I had ever run a meet (2 miles) in under 14:30.
So I walked into school happily and this girl that sat next to me asked me ‘How’d you do?’ And I said ‘good.’ She then said, ‘what place did you get?’ I then replied ’42nd.’ She then snickered and said, ‘you suck.’ Now I was almost shocked to hear this coming from her because I doubt she could run 1 mile in 14:30. But anyway I followed up with ‘How many pages did you read over the weekend?’
Me: ‘How many pages did you read over the weekend?’
Me: ‘Just wondering.’
Me: ‘You suck.’
Her ‘What? I bet I read more than you? How many did you read?’
Her: ‘Don’t tell me I suck when you didn’t even top me.’
Me: ‘What goes around comes around.’
Her: ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
Me: ‘I don’t know whether or not you have the memory of a goldfish, because you did the exact same thing less than 3 minutes ago.’
24. I Hope You Don't Like Spicy Pizza
“As a waitress in an upscale restaurant in a resort town years ago I had a couple of gentlemen come in and from the beginning, it felt as if my waiting on them was an imposition. The reverse of what a customer might feel with a poor waitress one could say. As a long-time waitress, you get a feel for people quickly and I knew that no matter what I did my tip would be little if not non-existent.
Overcompensating would be viewed as patronizing so I kept my visits to their table brief but professional. Each time though it felt as if I was trash beneath their feet, and I almost was in tears.
Venting my frustration to the chef was helpful, and helped me carry on. After their drinks, the gentlemen ordered a pizza which we were known for. I placed their order telling the chef it was for my ‘buddies out there’.
With that he grabbed the red chili peppers and literally loaded the sauce with them, covering them with a generous layer of cheese to disguise them. My power returned. I was victorious as I served them their pizza, and told them to enjoy their ‘weekend’ as I dropped off their tab. I don’t recall to this day what the tip was, it didn’t matter. This is the one and only time I ever sabotaged a meal, or ever saw it happen. I would never have allowed anything poisonous or gross, but this was perfect. Please remember this the next time a ‘lowly’ waitress comes to your table…”
23. Leave Me Behind? I'll Call You A Shoplifter
“I was with my significant other in one of her shopping marathons. I hate shopping as most men do, yet I love her, so I threaded with her, hoping for mercy. She loved going shopping with me because I did have some taste, but mostly because I carried the bags. Yet, what bugged me at the time was that she always walked a good 2 meters ahead of me.
So I was constantly feeling like a loser, carrying bags, completely cut out.
I tried talking, to no avail. Then I did the following:
We came to one shop on the very busy street, with the benches at the center and clothes around. She walked in with me well behind. She made the circle around the benches and that was it. I started after her and managed to catch her right as she was about to exit the shop.
I put the hand on her back and started pushing her outside. She lost her balance, yet recovered a few meters after. She turned back and looked at me and I said: ‘If I ever see you shoplifting again, I’ll call the cops!’ I returned to the shop.
All eyes on her, she started to blush and said: ‘He is just joking, he is my partner!’
She never left my side after that. I ended up marrying her. We have two beautiful kids.”
22. We Always Have War Over Rice
“We are Indian (South). We were living with my father’s parents, and my grandparents were the worst people on earth. I am sorry I don’t mean to be rude, it’s just that my grandparents were really really horrible people.
My mom was working full-time in a Govt. job and dad too was working and I am the only child. Despite all these, we still don’t own a car or a house.
Credits to grandparents, they were bloody gold-diggers who lived off my parents’ fortune.
As if this weren’t enough, all her daughters (my aunts and their spouses and off-springs) would visit us almost every single day and would invariably stay from evening tea to dinner. My poor mom shouldn’t have to cook and clean after a hectic day at the office. I was about 6 or 7 at that time, so I wasn’t of any help either.
The worst part is mom used to walk on eggshells around these cruel witches (my g.mom and aunts), at the drop of a hat they would start a huge fight. They fought over everything, My grandmom once accused my mother of selling a silver plate (she found it later and didn’t even apologize for the unfounded accusation, ggggrrrrrhhh). My dad although supportive, wasn’t willing to move out as he thought being the last child (& SON), he had the moral responsibility to take care of his parents in their old age.
So it was always the Mahabharata war (a disastrous war that took place for 18 days in the epic Mahabharata) in our house 24/7. My mom was about 28–29 at that time and she has never enjoyed life. We have never gone out on vacations, not even to movies. We apparently had to ask ‘PERMISSION’ to go out. That said my mom had to wait till everyone else finished their dinner to eat her own dinner, freaking earned from her own freaking money.
Freaking witch my grandmom was.
My mom was also never allowed to prepare anything for herself. Once mom made extra rice and there began world war 3. Grandmom was like ‘you should ask me, the elder before preparing rice, how can you prepare without my permission/knowledge or consent.’ This extended to me too. Mom cannot prepare anything for me, as well. I am supposed to eat the same spicy, tasteless food grandmom prefers/prepares.
A few days after WW3 happened for making rice, one aunt (I had 4 of them) came over with her spouse and children. Hearing this, another one joined with her family (they lived in the next compound). So there were again 10 of us and mom. Mom was past her hunger when these people decided to eat, she was fed-up already.
These people sat and ate… ate and ate, I mean they were eating like crazy.
That day my grandmother was serving too. When the last one was done there was only my mom and grandmother to eat. There was no rice.
G.M: Why didn’t you make rice? You know I haven’t eaten?
Mom (wicked smile): I could have, but would I risk having another war over it?
G.M: Well you should have asked me.
Mom: When? You were busy serving them and should I dare ask you in front of guests? And risk another of your episodes?
G.M: Freaking heck.
Mom: Okay it’s anyway 11 pm and I am not hungry anymore. Good night.
G.M: Screw you.
My grandmom passed away in 2014 and stayed the last year, till her death with my parents, my mom forgave that old hag owing to her old age but never socialized with her a lot. She used to cook and feed her whatever she wanted, and that’s pretty much the relation she had with my G.M. Hag died in our place in her sleep, very lucky considering how much of a wicked witch she was in her prime.
I hate my father’s side of the family. I loathe them. They are obnoxious idiots.
Since I was married and living in a different country I couldn’t attend her funeral. In all honesty, I don’t regret that, I never liked her or my granddad.”
21. Don't Want To Lower Your Volume? Let Me Get A Protein Bar
“A few months ago, I was playing with my phone in a cafe before work. I saw an image that made me laugh, and like a normal person, I did. A couple of minutes later, some guy sitting near me started listening to music loudly on cheap, incredibly leaky earbuds. I decided to have a word with him.
Me: Hey, can you turn your music down? I can hear it perfectly.
Him: I can hear you laughing.
Me: That lasted 5 seconds. Music lasts a lot longer.
Him: I don’t wanna hear about it. (he goes back to listening to music, the same volume as before)
Me: Screw you, man.
So I’m sitting there, eyes blurred with suppressed rage. But I’m not the kind of guy who just bends over and takes it.
I decided to eat a protein bar.
And I crinkled the wrapper as loudly as possible, as slowly as possible, and for as long as possible.”
20. Mom's Strictness Backfired
“I live in Morocco and I was 22 YO at the time. It was summertime and I just wanted to go to the beach with my friends.
Now, you may find this weird but being 22 does not make you an independent adult. Unless you’re a man. Then, you could be considered as the male ALPHA in the family, even if you don’t really have an income and may be a loser.
(As you are reading this, do not think this is a general rule. It was just my case with my family. My friends were much freer than I was).
My parents wouldn’t let me go. Not because we were a conservative family and wearing a swimsuit would be a shameful thing to do. Not even because we live in a dangerous country. (we don’t, BTW. Morocco is really safe)
My parents wouldn’t let me go because I was a female.
My brother, who was much much younger, went there with their blessing. I had to spend most of my summer days in my room because I was a female and for that, I wasn’t empowered the way my brother was. I was considered weak, incapable of defending myself. I tried to make my case but I was considered a bad daughter for speaking out. I thought it was discriminatory and a very selfish thing to do.
They only cared about their well-being but not mine. And since speaking out was a dumb thing to do in my family, I just gave them the cold treatment (in a polite way of course). My father wouldn’t let my mother have a social life and we, her daughters, were her only friends. So, I just did to her, what she did to me.
Every time she wanted to go out with me, I said no and she was forced to stay home. She started feeling very isolated and depressed from staying too much at home. After a while, they did get my point but it was too late. Since the summer days were over.”
19. Jerks In Line Got Called Out
“I was coming back to France – I live in Brazil – after eight months away from my family. There was some suspect package at the airport in Paris so they made us wait for one hour before we could get to the Immigration Check.
The huge room was totally full, maybe one thousand people, all desperate to get out and start holidays, see their loved ones or eat some real croissants.
But then came this huge group of young people back from holidays who thought they were smarter than anyone else. They were clearly skipping the line, getting in front of everybody… and no one was saying anything (French people are so polite!).
At last, one lady stood in front of one of them: ‘you stay in the line! Like everybody else!’
I wanted so bad to have done the same and was hit by remorse. When one hour after, I eventually got out from Immigration, the whole group was there, waiting for the one that was missing.
I couldn’t help a huge smile, and one of the girls smiled back at me. I told her: ‘See what you got from being a jerk?’ And went to the Luggage room.”
18. The CEO Is Still Higher Than The HR
“This happened back in 2011 when I changed my job.
I got my salary for the last month with that company, but the full and final settlement was pending. Also, I wanted to withdraw the amount of Provident Fund which was accrued to me. The procedure was to be done by them. In total, the amount was around Rs 40000.
After I left that company, I followed up with them for about 2–3 months but they did not pay me the pending amount nor did they file my claim for withdrawal of PF.
The HR would say: it is pending with the accounts department. Accounts would say they have not received the details from HR. I called everyone from these two departments but they did not do anything.
I knew that there was no issue, they are just delaying. Through my friends there I came to know that the head of HR is to be blamed. I called him up but he only gave me a good answer, no actions.
Then with no other option left, I sent an email to the CEO of the company. Since it was a small company, he was quite approachable and I had a good impression when I was working there. I explained to him the issue in detail, clearly giving names and also highlighting my supposed financial issues.
I got a call from accounts the very next day and I got the pending amount in my bank account in 3–4 days.
They also filed my claim for withdrawal of PF and I got it soon. I was a little surprised to see the swift action but did not know what happened behind the scene. I did not bother much about it then.
A few months later I attended the wedding of an ex-colleague from that company. Then I got to know what really happened then.
As it turned out, my friends were right.
The main culprit was the head of HR who, god knows why did not approve the final settlement for anyone who left the company. When I sent that email to the CEO, he asked for the details. Settlements of almost 50 people were pending; some for more than a year. HR head ignored all the emails and calls from ex-employees. That screwed the reputation of the company as well.
The CEO scolded the HR head and asked him to settle everything within a week. Also, he set up a system wherein the final settlement will be done within a period of 30 days max.
The head of HR had a tough time at the company after this incident. Many of his other negative actions came to notice. He was also there at the wedding. Knowing the tough times he was facing then, I went to meet him and thanked him for the speedy resolution of my final settlement.
He soon left the company afterward. (I am not to be blamed for this.)”
17. This Is What You Get For Not Showing My Photo
“As a lot of you probably know on roller coasters there is usually a picture in certain parts. I always loved finding out where the camera was and then putting my shirt over my head and flexing. Now a lot of you probably also know that roller coasters with pictures usually had little shops right outside the ride where they would show your picture on tv screens to try to get you to buy the photo.
This story starts with immature 6th grade me wandering around cedar point with my cousins. (an amusement park) We decided to get on a cool ride called the magnum, I had ridden this ride at least 5 times already and knew where the camera was. We went on the roller coaster and I did my usual shirt over my head with my arms flexed. When I got off the ride I immediately ran to the shop looking for my photo, but when I got there I realized they had removed it from the t.v.
screens. We went up to the counter and started asking the shop worker if we could see our photo. She said that she wouldn’t show it because it was ‘inappropriate’. Even though people were walking around the amusement park with their shirts off I still couldn’t see a picture of me without my shirt on.
I gave the lady the death glare but she didn’t seem fazed at all. Now for the moment of aggressiveness, I got on the ride and told all my male family members to put their shirts over their heads. I got off the ride and looked the lady directly in the eyes and winked. This time it was her turn to give me the death stare.”
16. Using My Stuff Has A Replacement Policy
“I just moved into the flat with absolutely nothing. I suggested to my flatmate that we could get some kitchen appliances, decorate the living room, and make the apartment ‘livable.’ Her response was ‘I don’t need any of those things apart from a microwave oven to make food.’ We both contributed to purchasing a microwave oven, and I personally bought other kitchen items for my own comfort.
I was away from the house for a couple of days, and on my return, I noticed the microwave oven had burned down. When I ask her what happened, she said ‘that’s what happens to cheap appliances.’ I was disappointed at her attitude and lack of care. I waited for almost a month hoping she might suggest something for a replacement or repair but nothing at all.
Yet, she could spend her funds on gambling. So, I went out to purchase another microwave oven of the same brand.
I returned home one day, and I noticed the oven had some food smell I wasn’t familiar with. When I asked her, she completely denied using it. Calmly I said to her, I am not stopping you from using any of these things, but be aware that if any of them get as bad as what you did to the microwave oven, I’ll make you replace them. She practically never dares to use any of my appliances. And I had those items for over two years without having to replace them.”
15. Crush My Spirit? Enjoy Your Crushed Candy
“In junior high, a girl named Becky began to bully me. Nothing physical, but rude remarks, insults, etc. I was not the kind of kid to stand up to a bully, so I never said anything in response. The problem was, her last name was very close to mine alphabetically, so we were in the same homeroom class and I had to see her every day.
By the time we started high school, the bullying had stopped, but we were still in the same homeroom, and I still harbored hatred toward her for the way she had treated me in junior high. In my junior year, I was in a club, and as a holiday fundraiser, we sold candy canes that would be delivered to students in their homeroom classes. The buyer would write a personal note on a little card, and then club members tied each card to a plastic-wrapped candy cane to prepare them for delivery.
As I was tying messages on, I came across one for Becky. So I tied it to a candy cane and then dropped the candy cane on the ground. Again. And again. And again, until the candy cane was nothing but a long, thin baggy of pulverized candy cane dust.
The best part was that since we were in the same homeroom, I was there when the candy cane was delivered to her. I had my own private moment of glee when I saw her hold up the baggy of candy cane bits. I’m sure she had no idea that I still hated her, so it never would have occurred to her that I was responsible. But I knew, and that was all that mattered.”
14. I Put A Special Ingredient In His Tea
“When I was growing up, my father was very rude to me. Although he has shown the world that he loved nobody more than his only daughter, inside the house he behaved very badly. I was a teenager and was not a rebellious one, I was obedient, above average at studies but he hated me. Why? Because I outed his affair to my mother and he absolutely despised me for that.
One day while I was making tea, I asked my mother if she wanted some too, I didn’t realize he was sitting there as well so I didn’t ask him. But he started yelling and screaming at how disrespectful I was. I went back into the kitchen and worked on my tea while crying at the same time. He kept yelling at how he would kick me out of the private school he was paying for and throw me in an underfunded government school and if my teachers asked why I was being pulled out he would tell them what kind of a characterless girl I was.
When he went away talking rubbish and yelling, I peeled off some tar, that had accumulated on an old unused pipe under the stove, and put it in his tea, mixed it up, and then took it out and served him the tea. That gave me so much pleasure. I hoped that he’d get sick or something but he didn’t. It didn’t make any difference on him but it gave me inner satisfaction.”
13. Let Me Tell You How Untrue Their Stories Are
“As normal, between 6 a.m. to 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. I was at my carrel. My university assigned doctoral students their own carrel to study in. I picked one overlooking the quad. Why, is another story. It was about 6 p.m. and my roommate Rusty came over and said, Joe, be real quiet follow me. So, I follow him. We went down a row of books and stopped.
He whispered, just listen. A conversation was going on at one of the tables on the other side of the rack of books. They were talking about the Battle of Gettysburg. There were 2 girls, pretty sure they were freshmen, and 2 boys, probably juniors or seniors. The boys were trying to show how smart they were by telling the girls stuff they knew about the battle.
Rusty whispered, have you heard enough, would you like to do it again (I had done things like this before, with the results of a lot of red faces and smiles.)
So I walked up to the table and asked, may I point out a few things. The girls said sure, and for the next 10 minutes I tore up the information the boys were saying was true.
I said have a nice evening and made my way out. Rusty stayed around for his favorite part in all this. One of the girls said, how can he know all of that, he talks like he was there. Then Rusty says, with a big Cheshire cat grin on this face, how do you know he wasn’t. Then he left, the boys were red-faced and the girls were all smiles.”
12. Petty Teacher Doesn't Want To Help His Students
“So today I was at school doing homework. I really couldn’t find the answer to one of the problems so I asked one of the teachers for help. The teacher didn’t come by until a few minutes later. When he finally came back he said ‘Ella… why am I doing your homework for you?’ because apparently to him, waiting for help to find it or a clue was the equivalent of waiting for him to tell me all the answers.
Now, I literally was about to cry but I didn’t want to cry in front of the class so I just acted as nothing happened for a while. I didn’t cry so I had to say I got soap in my eyes and I needed eye drops. When it was all over and almost everyone left the room, he said: ‘Ella, I love teaching you and answering questions and I know we get a little rowdy here but-‘ then I cut him off and said ‘You weren’t teaching me though, I was using you for answers… there’s a reason why you said ‘why am I doing your homework for you.’ so…’
Then my ride came and I left. We’ll see what happens tomorrow, today was annoying.”
11. He Didn't Know That Our Work Ethics Are Similar
“I was working for Siemens Pakistan as Manager Coordination and was deputed in Karachi Electric Supply Corporation on behalf of Siemens on Business Process Re-engineering Project. My boss, a German Doctor (Ph.D.) working for IAEA was looking after the project and I was to head the department in his absence as he had to be out of Pakistan for 3 weeks every month.
He used to give me instructions for the coming weeks and leave for three weeks, and I was responsible to execute the project making use of 9 project leaders (PL) selected by him, before my appointment, on the BPR project.
The team selected by him was young and immature except for 1 PL.
Cultural differences and work ethics of Germany and Pakistan are poles apart and making my German boss and the immature team understand the intricacies of organizational behavior is way too difficult as they (the team) themselves are the reason for such an eventuality.
Now how on earth, I being a Pakistani myself, can claim to have a thorough understanding of these variations?
I have been in Canada for an extended period of 5 years, where I learned to capitalize on the diversity of different thoughts to organizational advantage.
I tried to inculcate that same understanding in my team, yet I failed miserably due to the negative mindset of two such individuals in my team who kept conspiring against me and managed to instigate the same negativity among other team members. Working in such a hostile environment was again a challenge to cope with.
One of the PL was a Graduate in HR from the US, (but he kept telling everyone that he was MBA in HRM to portray himself as highly educated) and he was assigned the project of renovating the existing Training Center building for which Rs10 million were allocated.
He was to coordinate with the relevant departments to carry out the project and get everything approved either by me or my boss, as he had limited authority to exercise to accomplish project deliverables.
Common sense is unfortunately something that is not very common. Civil Engineering Rule of Thumb is that the walls are always erected on beams. The actual plan submitted by the site engineer, who happened to be a Civil Engineer was outrightly rejected by the PL without assigning any reason and he insisted the civil engineer at the site to re-plan the map according to ‘his’ wishes.
I was kept in complete darkness and the PL managed to get the re-submitted plan, signed by my boss on his return from Germany. The civil engineer did as he was told, making all the calculations according to the instructions of PL. Since I was new in the organization and he (civil engineer) was a bit skeptical in discussing the issue with me.
The project work started according to the new plan in which all the walls were erected 2 ft.
away from the beams in all the rooms leaving a space of 2 ft. useless. Whenever I asked the PL to let me know the progress at the site, his answer was it’s going perfect.
One day on my way back home, I thought I better have a look at the progress of work at the site and to my amazement, I was shocked to see what I have written above.
I blew the whistle and brought the whole situation to the knowledge of my boss and he was also shocked to learn what wrong was done.
A 3-hour long meeting ensued the incident wherein, all the PLs myself, and my German boss were present. Amidst heated debate and allegations and counter-allegations meeting concluded on the remarks of my German boss, that my and his (German boss) work ethics are very much similar, and he apologized to me and disbanded the entire department sending all the PLs to their respective department. The department was a matrix set up in a functional organization.
The building was renovated according to the new plan and is still being used with 2 ft space wasted in each room and all the three floors.”
10. Noisy Neighbor's Grass Died While I Was Out Of The Country
“I live in an old part of a city in Slovakia. The majority of my neighbors are old ladies whose only activity they enjoy is poking their noses into others’ affairs.
In the front of our house (block of flats with 4 floors) is a private parking space and maybe 1 m wide line of grass which separates the walls of the building from parking spots.
Even though this parking space is private, there are still many people who try to profit from its close location to the city center, so every time a car enters the plot, my neighbors are turning to spies, watching out of windows from behind curtains, waiting for new rumors.
Especially one lady is very sensitive and wants everything to be in her order. The parking spots belong to everyone who owns a flat in this house, you can park anywhere you want. Even though this lady used to park always under my windows because there is shadows, no matter that she lives on the other side of the house.
Once I was in hurry and there was no other parking place than under the windows of her flat or in a paid parking place.
I decided to park there but my car is quite long so I stayed with one wheel on the grass. I didn’t care about that since I knew that I wouldn’t be at home longer than a half-hour and when I come back in the evening the parking places will be free again.
In a moment I got out of the car and was about to lock it, this fussy lady rushed into the street yelling at me how can I park on that beautiful grass, her husband takes care of it…
like I was the worst person in the world attacking this innocent grass. Of course, everybody was watching out of their windows this dramatic scene. She sentenced me to a nasty fate and commanded me to repark my car.
I don’t understand why she always puts her car in the place under my windows.
I reparked the car. But the moment I entered my flat I turned on my computer and ordered herbicides.
A month or two later I sprayed the herbicides on ‘her part’ of the grass. The next day I left the country (staying abroad for a few months) and in the next few days, the grass went completely yellow and then brown (a friend of mine sent me a photo).
I heard that since then she’s quite quiet and doesn’t yell at people she doesn’t like…”
9. No Fish Left For The Fisherman
“I was canoeing/hiking/camping in the Adirondacks with my significant other at the time and her mother. We had set up camp on a small island while canoeing.
Now, this is not a large island and there is a single campsite with a lean-to. I prefer to stay on islands because you’re relatively safe from bears out there.
That evening we were relaxing when a teenager came around the lake in a rather loud boat with a motor and decided to walk across the island, including walking right through our campsite without even looking at us.
It was annoying to try to enjoy nature and have an inconsiderate lout making noise and getting in our space.
At the south end of the lake, there is an ‘Eighth Lake Campground’, and he and his family were staying there as we would soon find out.
We were up early the next morning, at daybreak, and ate a quick breakfast, packed up, jumped in the canoe, and started paddling down to the connector to 7th Lake.
As we rounded the island there sat the exact same boat, only now it was the father doing some early morning fishing on the lake. I paddled over to about 20 feet from him, then began smacking my oar on the water like a mad man. Never looked at him or said anything. But I’m pretty sure by the time I finished there wasn’t a fish left on that side of the lake.
After that we paddled on, never looked back.”
8. Arrogant Dude Pukes On His Girl
“During my college days, I was a ride operator at an amusement park. One of the rides I worked on was called the Octopus. As you can guess, it had eight arms with two seats per arm. One of the seat pairs spun around especially fast, and if you operate the controls a certain way you can really get it spinning!
One night this macho jerk comes on with his girl.
This guy was loud and obnoxious, making stupid remarks and just being a jerk. Well, I directed him and his girl to the fast seats and asked him if he’d like the ‘Octopus Special’? The dude is like ‘bring it!’ At first, the dude is whooping it up but, as the ride progresses, he becomes less boisterous. I’m now running it three minutes longer than normal and spinning his seat faster than I’d ever seen it spin (he and his friend were fairly big which aided in the momentum). At this point, I think they’ve had enough so I stop it. As I’m letting them out I realize the dude is going to puke. Dude gets out of his seat, turns to help the girl down, and lets loose all over her!”
7. The Power Of Mind Gave Me My Revenge
“Story 1: My husband and I went to Athens in his brother’s car to visit the Acropolis museum and on our way back to Salamina island, he drove around for about half an hour trying to find a theatre to get some tickets from.
Greece has some of the worst maintained roads in Europe, and with my neck having spine problems, I got a very bad migraine, which started just when we got on the ferry that would get us and the car across to the island.
At home, I tried to ignore it, but it got worse, so I said out loud that I would get some pain relief medicine to make it go since it only got worse.
There, sitting with me on the verandah were my mother-in-law and my bride-in-law (wife of my husband’s brother), who started insisting that my migraine was a result of people’s ‘evil eye’.
‘Matiasma’ is a religious prejudice that says that if people see you happy and are envious of you, they cast some sort of evil spell or curse on you, and you get headaches or migraines.
So they have a remedy for this, called ‘xematiasma’ which undoes the evil spell with another ‘holy’ spell.
My mother-in-law insisted so much and made it obvious that she wanted me to ask her to undo the evil spells for me.
On the other hand, me being an atheist, got very angry and irritated with all that nonsense and pressure, that I started answering back.
At first, I was subtle.
They mentioned the evil eye, and I said ‘well, it’s most probably my neck muscles, as they got tired while we were driving through the bad roads of Athens.’
But she kept insisting, that someone wanted to do bad to me, someone was jealous of me, someone cast an evil spell on me… so I kept boiling, and said ‘well, I have been here for only three days and I didn’t get to see anyone yet…’ (hint…)
Obviously, she did not get my insinuation, so she kept saying ‘well, don’t say that… certainly someone has cast their evil eye on you!’
That was it.
I repeated, this time finishing my sentence… ‘well, since the day I came here, the only people that I saw and who saw me are you…’ (both my bride in law and my mother in law – and her husband of course), but I turned suddenly towards my mother-in-law and looked straight in her eyes, sharply, and completed ‘… who would then cast their evil eye on me? YOU???’
Boy did she freeze…
Story 2: Since the day we arrived on the island, my husband’s brother and his wife wanted us to go to a certain beach, so they were trying very hard to sell it to us.
Although I’m a big fan of beautiful remote beaches, this beach was not an easy task for me, because I suffer from musculoskeletal problems and the heat is also a very negative parameter. It required that we walk 20 minutes by foot, under the hot sun, downhill, on deep sand to get to the water, which meant a long uphill on the way back, and some wide slippery rock surface which started right at the edge of the water, on which we had to walk on, to get to the part of the sea that had only sand.
On the first day, I thanked them for the invitation but gracefully declined, explaining my restrictions. I also suggested that they went without me, but they stayed at home.
On the third day, I declined their invitation once more.
On the fifth day, I was taking an afternoon nap and while I did, they decided they would wait for the sun to drop a bit and me to wake up and head for that beach.
Of course, I wasn’t asked, and I only found out on my way out of the home.
So when I realized how inconsiderate they all were of me (including my husband – who was so happy to be reunited with his family and could not say no to anything they decided), I used my brain powers (or was it my ‘evil eye’) to visualize the perfect ‘setting’ for ruining their plan:
I envisioned, with all my being, all of us in the car, driving uphill along the island’s cliffs, and suddenly the car’s tire getting flat, me sitting and enjoying the sea view from the cliff up high, and then spending all the remaining daylight time, fixing the wheel, or even waiting for the road aid.
I don’t know how, but somehow, it actually happened.
The plan was bound to fail either way. We started out driving in their more spacious, but older car, which had many problems, and two minutes later, they turned the car around to go get the second smaller but safer car. All 5 of us fit in it like sardines in a tiny box and headed off for the beach.
On the way up, by the cliff looking down at the sea, the driver (my husband’s brother) was looking at the sea view and was completely careless with the road and was also driving fast. And that’s how he didn’t see the deep big hole in the road asphalt on his side of the road (the roads are badly maintained in Greece, as I mentioned earlier).
PPFFFSSSSS….!!! The tire was ‘exhaling’ rather loudly and was flat in no time!
We found a broad area by the road and parked it. I found a nice rock where I sat marveling at the stunning sea view, up from the cliff, at sunset. They spent all that time – it was funny watching them being so messy and fussy – fixing the tire.
Needless to say, we skipped that beach and took a trip around the island instead, in the car, with the spare tire.
Ah, the power of the mind.”
6. Rude Coworker Got His Calls Ignored
“So I was minding my work, which consists of listening to calls, replying to texts/emails, modifying software requests, handling and following up the progress of all projects that I have handled before (which the number of projects can be almost 8 to 10 per day).
Then while I was teaching another coworker by WhatsApp on what software setting to check, he claims the machine is not doing the correct step, and my WeChat is suddenly full of voice calls history.
At that time the network is not that good, so I normally prefer text over voice calls. So I asked my fellow coworker to lend me his phone to call that guy back (this guy is one of our field service engineers which works on the customer’s site. let’s just call this guy A).
A: Hey the software update you sent me doesn’t work properly.
Me: (obviously needed more details to process what’s the problem) So which part did not work properly?
A: Everything! I can’t trigger output and cannot get any input signals.
Your software is faulty!
Me: (thinking it might be the MMI part of the software is not up to date, since I only sent him the sequence logic part DLL file only to him) Okay, I will send you another update.
So before I send it, I double-check and simulated on my laptop, and realized it’s working fine. So I sent it to him.
After a few minutes later, he called me, and when I answered, this happened.
A: NOTHING WORKS! NOW ALL THE BUTTONS CANNOT BE PRESSED! SERIOUSLY HOW DID YOU DO YOUR WORK. WHY CAN’T YOU DO YOUR WORK PROPERLY YOU JERK.
I muted the call and let him rant whatever he wanted. It’s been years since I felt this much anger during working hours, but decided not to argue with this rude fellow since I pretty much know he’s not worth my precious time while many others still need my support.
So later I check back with my supervisor and realized it’s the wrong version from the beginning (the same software used for different projects, which makes me confused and since this modification was handled by my junior earlier last week and passed over to me yesterday, I thought it’s already the correct one). So I re-modify from the correct version onwards and add whatever features the customer requested.
Then I sent him the update.
Then after lunchtime, while I was looking for bugs reported by another field service engineer, that guy A from earlier called me again. So the passive-aggressive thing I did was I didn’t answer his calls at all, all the while replying to him in text, making him have to type. Turns out he wants to know a certain option’s usage. Still, since I didn’t answer his call, he still dares to type curse words back at me before asking the question he wanted.
No one dared to be so rude to me in my current company, but he was the first one. So I guess he deserved that.
Now I’m wondering whether what I did is enough.”
5. I Spat On My Shoes To Get Revenge
“An elderly woman and her friend were trying to evict my family from their apartment so they could raise the rents. We had all been friends prior to this so it was a very hurtful thing. I didn’t want to do something that would actually hurt the ladies in any way but I wanted them to know my displeasure with them anytime they saw me. So every time I saw either one of them I would make a big show of hocking up form and spitting at the ground in front of me in their general direction.
I never came close to spitting on them at all. I did accidentally spit on my shoes a couple of times. At first, neither of them had any idea what was going on but after a few times, they began to get really annoyed with me doing that. After about a month of this, they started cursing me out.
Eventually, they won and we got evicted but I felt very satisfied with my pseudo-Shakespearean mark of displeasure.”
4. Petty Customer Left Me A Bad Review
“Worked behind the counter at a store… This girl who was VERY obnoxious and starviiiiiiiing for attention comes in. She was not good looking according to me at all. She deliberately acts very dumb and deliberately tries to make my job harder while trying to be cute and flirty. You know some people have that it-factor where they can give you a hard time but they do it in a cute charming way and then there are the people who try and just annoy you.
Well, she annoyed me and all my coworkers as well. After being respectful and giving her whatever she needed she goes to sit down. I leave for a min and come back. I hear a small argument with one of my workers, so I pull him to the side and ask what the story is… she comes to the register and says ‘you and your workers shouldn’t talk bad about your customers’ ( all the while having an annoying smirk as if she was flirting or something Idk ).
I explain to her as the manager if there is an issue it’s my responsibility to address it and correct it if one of my staff did wrong, it had nothing to do with her.
At the end of the night, my internet-obsessed boss sent me a screenshot of comments she left on the store page and asked me to explain what happened. Her ‘review’ was that we treated her badly and had the audacity to call her a witch when she was right next to us…
I didn’t have social media but I was sooooo annoyed I was about to create one and blast her. My boss took my side and asked me to leave it alone which I did. A few days later guess who comes back in the store… You guessed it, that annoying girl with that wanna-be charming face saying ‘hi I just wanted to apologize, I was just trying to make a joke.’ My response with a strictly professional tone, ‘Cool, are you ready to order now miss or should I take the next customer … Next!!'”
3. You Always Ask Questions But When I Do, I'm Rude?
“I don’t like people interfering with my life and decisions, questioning my choices, etc. Even my family has always steered clear of such questioning and commented about my investments, my decision to marry or have kids, etc.
But a neighbor of my wife’s family was too curious and too snoopy. He is a 50+ years old guy and a friend of my father-in-law. My wife had told me he and his wife have tried for years but unfortunately never had kids, and never considered adoption for some religious reasons.
A few years ago when I and my wife were newlyweds, at my in-law’s house he began harassing me with questions and unnecessary advice like ‘Will you buy a flat? Why not? You should buy a flat.’ or ‘where will you go on holidays? Do not waste your money in foreign countries, go to Antalya’ or ‘visit your parents’, etc. Finally when he asked me when we would be having kids I snapped, ‘I don’t know, when will YOU be having kids?’
I know it may sound awfully rude but he was the inconsiderate one because we could be having troubles with having kids too just as he and his wife did. He could not know that and he shouldn’t be too chatty about those delicate matters.”
2. I Made The Jerk's Groceries Suffer
“I used to work as a stock/bag boy at a very prominent grocery chain here in the states. It was a high school job, and I have always had a thing against bullies. Whenever a customer was being particularly rude, or flat-out mean, to my cashier, I would find something in their groceries to destroy.
My preferred target was tomatoes – see, I hate tomatoes (rotten or otherwise), and if you were a jerk and had canned foods and tomatoes, woe to you, buddy.
I didn’t care about gender or race or age, if you were a jerk, I found a way to make your groceries suffer.
This was in the age of ‘paper’ or ‘plastic’ too, so if they insisted on paper (a lot of the jerks did, btw) it was easier to hide my revenge.
I worked at that store for over two years and never got busted. I also didn’t do it a lot, only to the real pieces of work. But, the way I figured it, if I got canned (pun intended) it was a high school job and worth the risk! Food for thought if you are ever a jerk to bag boys!”
1. Oh Look, The Sheet's Torn
“We were working on school projects, and there were different teams which were building their independent projects. We were at the stage where we needed to make charts/posters. There were a limited number of chart paper sheets available, especially of one very nice color. I and a girl from a different team wanted the same sheet, and there was only one left. She had picked it out from the room where the sheets were stored, so legally and ethically she had ownership of the sheet.
But the sheet was kept at the side and wasn’t being used at the time. I and a couple of my teammates picked up the sheet and had almost brought it over to our table when the girl stopped us and tried to pull back the sheet.
I knew that I could not have justified taking the sheet from her. And this is how that conversation proceeded:
Girl: I brought the sheet from the cabinet, and we need the sheet, so please give it back to us.
Me: I need it as well, and…
Girl: That may be, but it belongs to me.
Me: Yes, but it’s of no use to you…
(Note that what was about to happen, had never struck me before this)
Girl: What !?! (With a strangely Puzzled look)
Me: Yes. You can’t make a chart with it, look it’s torn from the corner.
The sheet wasn’t torn, but the moment she looked down, I tore off the corner of the sheet that I was holding. I also vaguely remember delaying the tearing so that she could observe(!)
It was totally unfair, and I had no right to do that. And rightfully it left her fuming. But I still remember it, because I never thought I could have come up with such a clever strategy.”