People Feel Stuck In These “Am I The Jerk?” Situations

"I came back from work around 2 hours ago and I’m still baffled about how this mess all played out.

I’ve got a few people at work that I’m cool with, and we all hang out in our free time and just do some stuff.

There are around 5 people that I’m cool with at work, and I’m the only one out of the 5 who actively drives to and from work. I live close to one of my colleagues Omar, so if he finishes work at the same time as me, I’ll drop him home.

There’s this one girl that works in my place, Sam, I don’t know her and I’ve never spoken to her, till tonight. She’s friends with Omar, and he was working overtime so he asked me if I can take her home as she was going in my direction.

I had no issue with that.

She walked EXTREMELY slowly to the car while being on the phone, which to me that just took the Mickey cause I’m tired and want to go home. By the way, when I say slow, I mean it’s like she wasn’t even walking at moments.

She opens the door and sits inside and now I’m proceeding to drive. I didn’t want the car to feel heavy for either one of us because it was a 20-minute drive. She’s got a slightly different role to me at work so I asked her about it to open up a friendly dialogue, and she responded with “just because you’re driving me doesn’t mean I have to talk to you”.

Funnily enough, she’s right, I was asked to drop her home, nothing more. So I just continued driving. She then added, “you could be creepy for all I know”. She didn’t say that in a playful way or anything so I just chuckled and said “yeah don’t worry we don’t have to talk, just let me know where you want to get off”.

Around 7 mins after I said that, she calls Omar and says “your friend went past my house, call him and let him know”. The thought that she was talking about me was too bizarre, so I just carried on driving. Omar calls me and tells me I missed her stop, I was baffled and just asked her why didn’t she say anything?

She aggressively said “I already told you to stop talking to me for goodness sake”. Omar even heard her say that while being on the phone and he was confused.

But for me that drew the line so I pulled over and I told her to get out.

She tried to say no like I’m her darn Uber, so I just continued driving home. She became aware of that when I told her moments later and she just demanded I drop her anywhere. I obliged and she called me a jerk on the way out. Not only that, Omar called me a jerk too, saying I’m a jerk for even trying to talk to her. The only person that said I was right, was my partner when I called her to ask her if I did anything wrong. AITJ here ?"

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. I get why that whole thing is so surreal to you. Who acts like that woman did?!? Note: Omar is the one who asked you to give her a ride. Omar is the one she bothered to say you had passed her house.

Omar is the one who heard how she talked to you and thinks you are a jerk for even trying to talk to her, much less the rest. Be very careful at work: If you have an HR, you may want to talk to them about it. (I know a lot of folks don't trust their HR, so do what you think best.) Because the only two other people involved are in cahoots. (Maybe they have a romantic relationship going?) So if this woman tries to file a complaint against you, it's the two of them against your word. Since the woman is not in your general work area, you can hopefully never see or speak to her again (if she doesn't decide to create a stink for you at work).

As for Omar, I would tell him that he is no longer welcome to ride in your car, either.

He will need to sit down (maybe at work at the end of the day) and explain (1) why he asked you to give this woman a ride and (2) how in the heck he justifies her behavior and thinks you shouldn't even be talking to her. If/when he explains himself, you can decide whether you will have anything more to do with him. I personally can't imagine anything he would say that would make me willing to hang out with him/give him a ride ever again." swillshop

Another User Comments:

"NTJ - you don't treat your Uber like that either. Did she forget that you need to tell a driver where you live if you need to drop them off? I mean were you meant to drive backwards and forwards all night in a game of hot, cool mediated by Omar?

I'd stop offering Omar rides too as he feels he can offer you up as a free taxi to anyone. Also if someone is creepy, then you don't get in a car with them. Talking isn't the thing you are worried about. Second the HR thing." Timely_Egg_6827