People Hope To Get Judged Fairly With Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories

We should constantly strive to treat people with kindness, regardless of the situation. Nobody wants to be known as a jerk since it might ruin friendships and eventually your reputation. But occasionally, even with the best of intentions, we may act in ways that others might mistake for being quite (or really) jerkish. These people below ask for our opinion on whether or not they are jerks. Read their stories and share your thoughts with us. AITJ = Am I the jerk? NTJ = Not the jerk WIBTJ = Would I be the jerk? YTJ = You're the jerk

38. AITJ For Telling My Mom To Order Her Own Dessert?

“A family friend had treated my mother and me, along with some mutual friends to dinner at a nice restaurant. We were having a great time.

As someone who works out religiously, I am very careful about what I eat and my choices this evening were no exception. When the server came to take our dessert order, I declined. And apparently, this decision didn’t sit well with my mother. She demanded I order dessert so she could have a bite. I refused and suggested she order her own dessert.

‘I don’t want a whole dessert!’ she protested.

The heck she didn’t.

‘Well, I don’t want any dessert!’ I said.

‘You do, too!’

‘Mom, just order your own,’ I said. But she remained stubborn. And after the waitress left, Mom spent the rest of the evening glaring at me, smoldering in resentment.

I don’t see what the big deal was. Since neither one of us was paying, it’s not like it would have been an additional expense for either of us. And I also know, through repeated observation, that she wouldn’t have stopped at one bite. If you knew my mother, seeing her ask for ‘a bite’ of your dessert would have been absolutely laughable.

I just feel, that since I’m watching what I eat, I don’t want temptation placed in front of me, regardless of how much my mother took or didn’t take.

And I will add, that I don’t like this presumption that I see so often. Has anyone ever sat down in a restaurant with three friends, for instance?

Only one person actually orders dessert as everyone else declines. But as soon as one person orders dessert, someone else adds, ‘And four spoons!’

I don’t know how anyone else feels, but I find this extremely rude and presumptuous. The one person who ordered dessert isn’t obligated to share it. And for someone to just insist that your dessert became community property seems extremely off-putting and entitled. Not to mention unsanitary.

But I digress. One of our mutuals at the table suggested I order dessert to keep the peace. I said we could have kept the peace if Mom had ordered her own dessert and quit expecting me to do it and act all entitled to mine.

So, tell me, should I have just ordered the dessert to shut my mother up?”

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LilVicky 4 months ago
NTJ your mom is an idiot
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37. AITJ For Calling Out My Family For Coddling My Brother?

“So I (25 f) have a younger sibling (24) who, for our ENTIRE lives, has always been not only spoiled but blatantly coddled. They’ve done UNFORGIVABLE things in my opinion, but not my family apparently.

From stealing to calling CPS on my step-parent because they wanted to see our biological parent, even though my parents made it a POINT to never keep us from our biological parent to making INSANE accusations against a family member. It’s been like this since I can remember, and my parents (my mother mostly) have refused to do anything about it.

When I turned 22, in 2020, actually, I met my husband. We got married when we were 24, and now we’re expecting our first child. We’re staying with my grandmother for the time being, because I’m high-risk, and our place wasn’t suitable for me. Well, Vince’s significant other went to lock up, so they’re living with my grandmother, again.

They’ve stolen, again, not only from me but my husband, our older sister, and our parents. And NO ONE will confront them or reprimand them.

So, I did. Because I’m genuinely sick of my stuff being taken when I’m not around, and they’ve taken some sentimental things now, IE the book and candles from my WEDDING.

So, I called them out, and like always, my family started in on me, yelling about how it’s not my place to yell at my sibling and blah blah.

Here’s where I may be the jerk. I flat out told them it’s my family’s fault they’re like this, and that if they don’t figure out something with Vince, be it therapy or forcing them to give back the stuff they stole, we’re moving out before our baby is born, and none of them will be allowed around him because they clearly have no respect for my family.

Now they’re making me feel guilty for making that choice, but I can’t find it in myself to go back on it.

So, AITJ? To me, it feels like I’m just trying to protect my peace and my family.”

2 points - Liked by IDontKnow and LilVicky
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rbleah 4 months ago
GET OUT AND GO NO CONTACT. He is the GOLDEN CHILD and you will NEVER win that argument. I would tell him to bring back the things he stole or you will call the police and report him for theft. And STILL get out.
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36. WIBTJ If I Refuse To Babysit My Cousin For My Uncle's Wedding?

“I (15 f) was offered a babysitting job to watch my cousin (1 f) for my uncle’s wedding.

The wedding is in late July and my family was invited apart from me and my little brother (11 m). Anyone under the age of sixteen is not allowed to come. Personally, I respect that choice.

Anyway, my parents got the invitation to the wedding about three months ago and they accepted. My parents asked me if I could keep an eye on my brother for that day which I don’t mind because he is no trouble to tend to, he will probably go play our Xbox or work on his car models.

When the wedding comes I am planning to have one of my closest friends come over for the day (my parents allowed this). I already had that planned for about a week now and it will be the last time I will see my friend before she moves across the country. (That information will be useful later)

My uncle (32 m) and future aunt (29 f) asked me to watch my cousin for their wedding. I don’t know my cousin well enough to babysit her and I haven’t even seen or met her before. I told them I might not be able to babysit her and look for a backup babysitter if I decided not to do it.

My father’s side of the family (the side where my uncle is on) said that I would be a jerk if I didn’t watch my cousin and they said that I could just talk to my friend over the phone. Which is true but I won’t see her in person for a long time.

My father’s mother says that family always comes before friends and she’s trying to bribe me to babysit her even though I also don’t feel comfortable babysitting a child that young. On a final note they are only paying me $3.50 an hour (I live in Canada so that is not a lot in my mind).

Would I be the jerk if I decided not to babysit my cousin for the wedding?”

2 points - Liked by IDontKnow and Eatonpenelope
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rbleah 4 months ago
NTJ Tell them you will not sit for them. You do not have to justify your decision to ANYONE.
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35. AITJ For Demanding To Get Paid For Babysitting My Nephews?

“I (18) have been pretty neutral with my sister (36) ever since middle school because of a huge argument we got into and she disrespected our mother and me (she has such a short fuse and will flip at anyone). Eventually we ‘made up’ but I steered clear of her.

She has four kids, by the way, (18 m , 17 m, 7 m, 4 m) and she’s always going off on 17 because he’s just like her but she refuses to believe it. Everyone even tells her that she treats him badly.

Anyways, since 18m has a job now and works a lot and 17 has football stuff during the summer, she has no one to watch her kids 7 and 4, so she basically ‘asks’ me to watch them (guilt-tripping) and she used to offer money but now she doesn’t anymore.

She would say ‘7 and 4 is only spending a couple of hours over there it’ll be fine’ and then they’d usually spend the night for like 2 days and their dad would come to get them. Recently, the past months she hasn’t been paying me or she would just drop them off and say ‘Mom is watching them’ but my mom is at work so I have to watch them ultimately, and in reality, I’ve made it clear that I don’t like babysitting anymore but she says it’s because I’m family.

Today, she called and asked if I could watch them for a couple of hours (found out from our mom she just wanted to go out and not work). Basically, I tried to indirectly say no, then I said I would if she paid, then she blew up at me and caught an attitude and hung up before I got to say anything.

I didn’t even feel bad, to be honest. When my mom got home and my brother came home I asked what they thought about it and they actually took my side. They said, ‘She needs to realize that not everyone wants to watch her kids’.

She came over today and basically ignored me and I didn’t care, but AITJ?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
NOPE NOT THE JERK. She is just EXPECTING you to do what she tells you to do. NOT GONNA HAPPEN ANY MORE. From now on just tell her NO. Whether she pays you or not. Because she has no use for you until she decides she needs child care.
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34. AITJ For Not Cleaning The Apartment While My Wife Was Gone?

“So we have a 1.5-year-old boy. As relatively new parents we are quite exhausted. Sometimes I take him for a one-day trip so my wife can enjoy some time for herself and rest.

Last week she told me, she is taking our son to my mom from Monday to Friday, so I can rest and have some free time for myself. She didn’t give me any specific instructions just left.

I regularly go to a job, so I return around 5 PM and I took one home office, so I had a complete Wednesday off.

She returned one hour ago, while I was still working. And I got these crazy messages on WhatsApp. If I am actually kidding her. And that the apt. looks like after a bomb explosion, she was 5 days in a row with our son only for her to return and now she has to clean the apt.

And I am in shock, replying that I cleaned the apartment. I did the chores. And she’s like… no the bathtub is dirty (like what, maybe my hair from morning shower? dunno) and a towel is on the shelf, not hanging and the floor is all sticky (I turned our robot yesterday so it’s vacuumed and cleaned) and she began to caps lock at me, saying WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING ALL THE TIME?

And I am like… You literally left, saying I should rest and now you are angry I did rest?

So we had a fight… and now I am not even happy she returned I am actually rather here at work.

The last thing she wrote me was: So in five days, you did two laundry washing, two tumble drying, you cooked lunch for us yesterday for today and that’s it?

Are you serious?

I tried to explain to her that clearly, my and her views on a clean apartment are different, and if she wanted me to do some specific things she should have left me a note on ‘To do:’ list.

AITJ?

Edit:

I cleaned the kitchen and put the dishes into the dishwasher overnight, so there was a full dishwasher with clean dishes.

The trash was taken out, so a new bag was inside a trash can.

Also, she yelled at me, that I didn’t do all the laundry. I just did color and black laundry and didn’t do the white. This is true… but I am like…what, yes, so what? Is that so terrible?”

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anma7 3 months ago
ESH.... you for being thick!!! So she manages the kid, does the housechores and whatever else AT THE SAME TIME... she goes away for 5 days and you manage 2 laundry loads turn on a roombot, load the dishwasher IN 5DAYS... all while getting full nights sleep for 4 nights which is more than she's had in 1.5yrs cos i would guess she deals with kiddo at night cos you have work in the morning... amd you graciously take kid out FOR A DAY to see your mommy where SHE looks after kiddo and cooks for you for you to turn round and take kiddo home... i bet when you get home the apartment is sparkling and she has caught up on all the little bits she couldn't manage on little sleep and a kid to chase round after....
And your response is she didn't leave me a list!!!!
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33. AITJ For Moving Out Despite My Lease Agreement With My Creepy Landlord?

“I (23 f) live alone in an apartment. I don’t know exactly how to explain it but it’s a small building with 4 apartments in it. My landlord lives across the street in another unit he owns.

I got a really good rate. I believe this is due to my landlord having a crush on me and wanting me to live nearby. (I know, stupid. Red flag and I should have said no but I couldn’t pass up on the deal) On top of this, he has always let me pay less than the agreed-upon amount.

He always says something like ‘don’t worry about it’ and I’m a model tenant that he enjoys. I have saved all documentation of these exchanges. He always offers. I never ask.

One day my partner was over, he asked me why I had a camera in the bathroom. This is news to me. I ask him to show me and he points out a small camera on the bathroom towel shelf.

I’m horrified. It’s facing the glass shower. He and I sweep the house. We found another small camera in my bedroom

I confronted my landlord and he first denied the cameras at all. I explained my partner works in cyber security and recognized them. He then claimed it was for security. Nonsense, they’re in my bathroom and bedroom.

Then he said it was to make sure I didn’t damage the property and he was ‘covering his butt’.

I called him a creep and told him I was moving out as soon as possible and he was lucky I wasn’t calling the police. (I still might get them involved. I’ve taken pics and saved texts).

Because of work and family responsibilities, I took about ten days to get all of my stuff out (I didn’t stay there). So I was there about two weeks out of the month. My landlord is insisting I pay the full month plus a last-minute lease-breaking fee and I can ‘forget about any discount’ since he was ‘was just being nice before finding out what an entitled brat’ I am.

I have said I will pay him a percentage of the rent on my lease for the two weeks but that’s all and he was lucky to get that. He says I’m a jerk and is threatening to sue me for the remainder and some made-up ‘damages’. I am technically breaking a lease.

AITJ?”

1 points - Liked by IDontKnow
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LilVicky 4 months ago (Edited)
Tell him that if he doesn’t want to accept your offer then you will be taking your evidence to the police. And then do it. NTJ
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32. AITJ For Refusing To Put The Dirty Clothes In The Hamper?

“My wife (31 f) and I (32 m) have a bedroom, two malm dressers, and a cat.

I am – generally – a fairly neat and tidy person. I clean up after myself, I regularly vacuum, my things are mainly organized, and I don’t like filth and clutter. Our home is generally not messy or dirty. There is one exception.

On top of one of the Malm dressers, the one that contains my clothing, there are probably six or seven shirts, hoodies, etc. that are just strewn about.

And they’ve been there for a while. At first, this pile began as a place where I just sat clothes that I was going to re-wear the next day – a hoodie, a light jacket, clean sweatpants that I had only worn for a few hours, etc. But over time it also became a dumping ground for shirts that need a button re-attached, etc. Some of these shirts have been there for months because neither of us knows how to sew and neither of us is probably learning how to sew any time soon.

This has always been a slight annoyance to my wife. This has become complicated, though, because one of our cats has really taken a shine to this pile of clothes. It’s high up, it gets sunshine from the window, and it’s dirty clothes. That’s primo cat real estate. Little homie sits up there like six, seven, hours a day.

The clothes are now covered in a fine layer of orange fur. It’s very cute. He’s clearly very happy. I have christened the dresser ‘Dirty Clothes Tower.’ My wife hates it.

I continue to defend the existence of the dirty clothes tower. Occasionally I add a new garment. This is the only thing that we argue about.

She thinks I am being a child. I think it is harmless and the cat likes it so it’s cute. Am I the jerk for refusing to put these clothes in the hamper?”

1 points - Liked by IDontKnow
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anma7 3 months ago
YTJ.. you knownit annoys wife.. so you add to it occasionally cos the cat likes it !! Seriously dude..take it all off the dresser, throw away the stuff you ADMIT won't get fixed and get the cat a bloody bed to lay on up there.. i bet wife would be happier at that than seeing your dirty laundry on top of the furniture
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31. AITJ For Being Offended By What My Mother-In-Law Said And Not Forgiving Her?

“About 2 weeks ago my (29 f) fiancés (27 m) mother (51 f) came over to our house for coffee and to visit fiancé. They are very close due to him being an only child so this isn’t weird. Plus his parents live about 6 houses down from us.

Well, about 5 minutes into the visit FMIL turns to fiancé and asks ‘Has Jessica lost any weight?’ Side note I am a 5-foot-tall curvy woman. My fiancé was shocked and said, ‘I don’t know. I haven’t asked why?’ She said ‘Because I always pictured you with a princess or mermaid. You know someone taller and thinner.

I just feel bad I didn’t say something sooner and intervened in the relationship before it got this far.’ My fiancé said he was shocked after that and didn’t know what to say other than ‘WHAT?!’ His mother left after that and my fiancé told me what happened when I got home.

I obviously was devastated. His mother and I had an amazing relationship before this and were extremely close. They don’t have a lot of family here in the US due to them immigrating from another country and she has a hard time speaking English so I always tried to include her in things my fiancé and I were doing so she wasn’t alone when her husband worked weekends.

I tried to learn their native language so she could feel more comfortable communicating with me. I tried so hard to be the best daughter-in-law. And now I feel like it was all fake on her part. And that her I love you’s which she always said mean nothing.

The following day we had her over to ‘explain’ her side but she just doubled down and said it to my face and that she is ‘so relieved to tell me this, that it’s a huge weight off her shoulders, and I hope this doesn’t change our relationship.’ I cried and my fiancé told her to leave, I have not directly spoken to her since and my fiancé is starting to say that I’m kind of being a jerk because I won’t even speak to her to accept her apology.

Am I being a jerk?”

1 points - Liked by IDontKnow
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LilVicky 4 months ago
The apology will only be fake. She’s only offering it because your fiancé is mad at her too. Tell him that you don’t want to be around her for awhile. NTJ
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30. AITJ For Not Coming To My Best Friend's Birthday Party?

“I (35 f) have 2 children (5 m and 3 f) and a baby who is only 16 weeks old. My first 2 pregnancies have gone quite smoothly, with a few bumps on the way but not many problems. My third pregnancy was really tough as I got diagnosed with preeclampsia, put on bedrest for 6 weeks, and had an emergency C-section during which both the baby and I almost passed. I stayed in the hospital for longer than 2 weeks before I was deemed healthy enough to be released.

My husband has been beside me in the delivery room all 3 times and does most of the chores, takes care of the kids while I recover, and makes sure I have everything I need. We have saved more than enough funds from both our jobs to have the ability to afford to stay at home for as long as is needed.

My best friend (we’ll call her Ashley) has been my best friend since elementary school. We’ve never missed each other’s birthdays no matter what was going on in our lives or how far apart we were. She also was aware of my troubles.

Yesterday was her birthday. In the morning I was feeling below par and I was too tired to get out of bed so my husband took care of all the kids and helped me shower like he did 100x before during my pregnancies and postpartum.

When it was around 2 pm, I was feeling a little better but I was still worn out so I called Ashley. Her birthday party was scheduled at 3 p.m. and I was supposed to arrive at 2:30 p.m. I waited until 2 pm because I knew how important her birthday was and I was hoping that I would feel good enough to come over.

I told her ‘I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to come to your birthday party because I’m not feeling well.’ She asked what was wrong, and I told her that I was extremely exhausted and there was no way I could be at her party. I literally heard her sigh angrily and she said ‘But what about our promise?

I broke my arm while racing and still traveled 1000 miles for your birthday, but you can’t drive 20 miles to see me? If your fat butt can reach the grocery store, then you would come here if you actually cared’.

That’s when I became mad and told her ‘Well if you had kids then you would understand’ and that’s when she said ‘Screw you’ and hung up.

(That wasn’t the entire conversation).

You might think ‘What’s so bad about saying if you had kids?’ Ashley can’t get pregnant due to an incident that happened during our younger college days and the topic is very sensitive for her, so me saying that was extremely vile.

This morning, I woke up feeling much better and I attempted to contact Ashley so I could apologize but she wouldn’t pick up and ignored all my text messages.

My husband said that I shouldn’t apologize because if she was a real friend she would have shown concern and worry instead of anger and the attitude of a brat so she deserved my comeback, but I feel so guilty for bringing up her inability to have kids and I feel like such a jerk for doing so.

AITJ?”

1 points - Liked by LilVicky
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helenh9653 3 months ago
NTJ for not going to the party. YTJ for the comment though: you should apologise for that. Ashley is also TJ for equating a broken arm with nearly dying.
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29. AITJ For Being Mad At My Mother-In-Law For Not Believing That I'm Sick?

“I got married in February of this year to my husband, with a dramatic family that’s always been neglectful to him. Last minute his mom booked me a ticket to go on a cruise with them a week before the wedding, and on the cruise, I contracted a disease that left me with lasting symptoms.

After our wedding, I had concerning symptoms and went to urgent care. I went through 10 rounds of blood draws on different days and had to stop working because of my symptoms, and I couldn’t do much of anything, I was bedridden. She never asked how I was doing personally, but she babysat my birds and helped clean up the house once, so I assumed talking just wasn’t the way she loved it.

I wasn’t too upset until my husband went over to his parents’ house and I didn’t feel well one day. She told him that she ‘has her reservations on what she believes is real’ when it comes to my sickness. My doctors are currently in the process of diagnosing me with a serious chronic illness that came from the disease I contracted on the cruise.

MIL said that we were basically just roommates because she assumes we don’t have intimacy, said he’s working so hard to support me and that I don’t do anything for him, and that I speak poorly about him behind his back, which I would NEVER dream of doing! I don’t even talk to her!

My husband ignored all of this, because it’s not her place to make those comments, but still tries to get me to go see them sometimes. I avoided it because what she said really hurt my feelings. I’ve been sick for 5 months now, and I’ve been absolutely miserable. She always makes rude remarks, and I’ve tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but she crossed the line for me.

I’ve seen her twice since his visit. His sister passed out and hit her head, so we went to visit. After about 3 hours of playing games with them, his sister started telling me about what happened. Part of my syndrome is passing out, so I related to her on that, and MIL made a face, and left the room scoffing.

Before we left, she said ‘Thanks for finally stopping by.’ So I just left.

Today we saw fireworks with them, and I passed out during them. When we got up to leave, she rolled her eyes and laughed. My husband is trying to keep the peace, but I don’t like being around her.

Should I be more tolerant? I feel like I can’t confront her since she thinks her conversation with my husband was in confidence. I feel like I could be doing more, but I just feel really hurt.”

1 points - Liked by IDontKnow
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LilVicky 4 months ago
Grrr I dislike people like your MIL. You are never going to win with that harpy so don’t even bother trying. And if they treated your husband so poorly growing up I don’t see why he wants to keep seeing them. Keep your distance & I hope you feel better soon. NTJ
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28. AITJ For Leaving My Partner At A Company Event?

“My (38 M) partner (38 F) has been giving me the silent treatment and demanding that I apologize to her, for ‘abandoning’ her at a tradeshow that the company she works for has a stall (it is a major annual show in the city).

I have been helping out with the event for the two weeks the event ran over as a chef for the kitchen products they sell (whilst on leave from my full-time job).

An acquaintance whom she had previously worked with and had an on-off fling with was in the food court area and had called her to meet and catch up. I am not the jealous type and have no issues with her outgoing personality and easy way of talking with people. Being in sales is an absolute must for her.

She had taken a call from him and left me to go meet him without letting me know where she was going whilst I was working (for free) at her company stand.

I had met him a couple of times in the two years that we have been together, not liking him from the beginning, and kept this to myself.

He had on a number of occasions told my partner that he disliked me and was cold on the few times that we met and had, at the beginning of our relationship, told her that she must leave me as I was no good for her or they would no longer be able to be friends.

Having expressed my dislike for him and that I would rather not interact with him and have her maybe follow his suggestion of not being friends, but if she wants to see him just let me know and keep me out of it.

Now, once the show was done I cleaned up and went to look for her, only to find the work call was him and rather close together (from my perspective).

I watched for a bit before she noticed me and quickly stood up from the high table and moved away from him, a little like a deer in headlights look, I just turned and left her there, and she came running up to me as I was crossing a main road getting to the car.

I am apparently the jerk for leaving, not saying hello to him, and having her cross the busy road by herself.

I am stunned and in a ‘WHAT?!’ state as I have to now apologize to both her and him for being disrespectful to him and abandoning her. I am annoyed, to say the least.

AITJ?”

1 points - Liked by IDontKnow
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rbleah 4 months ago
NO SHE has some explaining and apologizing to do. If she can't decide between the two of you let her know that you won't stand in her way. And it was dirty of her to take off to meet with him as soon as he called her. ????
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27. AITJ For Making The House Smell Like Cinnamon?

“I (f 21) love fall. Now that it’s getting close to September, I’ve pulled out the fall decorations and candles and am getting ready. Something I’ve always done during this time of year is make a mixture of nutmeg, apple, cinnamon, and pumpkin spice in water, and boil it on the stove.

It makes the house smell amazing, works like a humidifier, and puts me in the spirit of my favorite season.

My MIL (f 49) is deathly allergic to cinnamon. To the point where she can’t go Christmas shopping in person because of the cinnamon-scented candles, sprays, and wallflowers that are out at that time. Any time she’s coming over, I always make sure that I don’t burn any of my candles that are cinnamon-scented, and if I’ve boiled the mixture or burnt one recently, I open the windows to air out our apartment.

My husband had left for work not too long ago, so I decided to put a mixture on the stove while I was cleaning. After it had already been boiling for a while, I heard a knock at the door. My MIL had dropped by unannounced. When I opened the door I stepped outside as I thought that she might have needed something or was dropping something off since she didn’t say anything about coming by and my husband was already gone.

She asked why I hadn’t let her in and that she wanted to hang out for a bit. I explained to her that since I wasn’t aware of her coming, I had started boiling cinnamon to make the house smell nice and that I didn’t want her to come in as I was worried it might make her react.

Her face dropped and she looked furious. She told me that I shouldn’t be doing that and shouldn’t even really own cinnamon-scented candles because I know it can make her sick. I told her that I always make sure those things are put away or have not been used when she’s here, but I wasn’t aware of her coming.

She just rolled her eyes and began to walk away. Before getting to the stairs, she turned back to look at me and said that it was extremely inconsiderate and rude that I would be willing to risk her having an allergic reaction just because I like the smell.

Am I the jerk?

Edit: I’m not trying to make my house unwelcoming to her.

She is completely welcome when invited or when she asks to come. She is aware that we like the smell of cinnamon and because of this, my husband has told her that she needs to ask before popping up. He has also put his foot down about unannounced visits.

My MIL also eats cinnamon rolls willingly.

Her kids say ‘You’re allergic. It’ll make you sick’ every time, and every time she responds with ‘It’s worth the upset stomach.’ And then she just gets sick later on. However, she also has talked about how she can’t go holiday shopping because the amount of cinnamon in the air will kill her.

I take the precautions because of what she’s said about the cinnamon scents because I’d rather be safe than sorry.”

1 points - Liked by IDontKnow
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rbleah 4 months ago
This is her way of telling you SHE IS SPECIAL AND YOU SHOULD ALWAYS DO WHAT SHE TELLS YOU. OMG she has more issues that you know. Tell hubs to deal with her and exactly what happened AFTER he went to work. Let him deal with demanding mommy.
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26. AITJ If I Kick My Irresponsible Sister-In-Law Out Of My House?

“At the beginning of August, my 18-year-old sister-in-law moved into my house, mostly for stability during college. We had previously discussed all the details such as her dog, as well as feeding him.

I simply asked that she get him neutered and microchipped, and she did neither and still moved him into my house… cool find, whatever, I guess. Then came the dog food. She texted me asking if I could send her funds for dog food. It was agreed that we would switch off every other bag because she just wanted to feed her dog my dog’s food.

So that went out the window too.

My husband and I went up to visit my family in NY. We had been here for 4 days when she texted about the food being gone. Which was crazy to me because I had JUST bought a 50lb bag of food before we left. I have two dogs, a golden (m 1y) and a corgi (f 6m).

Today my neighbor called me and said my golden was outside and it was pouring and then said my SIL hasn’t been home in 2 days and asked what I wanted her to do with my golden. I asked if she would take him inside and check on the corgi. She was in the golden’s poo and pee-covered kennel.

She cleaned out the kennel and said that the corgi’s kennel was nowhere to be found and she was going to leave the golden out of his kennel.

I called my SIL, but she ignored me. My husband called his sister, but she ignored him. I called their mother, and she answered and said she hadn’t spoken to her in days, so my brain goes, she’s dead somewhere?

Nope, she calls my other SIL (16 f) to tell her she’s in another city. She left my dog outside for 2 days, with a kennel full of poo, smelling up my entire house, with my puppy in that. I was so angry and I wanted her out. I don’t want her in my house.

She neglected my dogs and then dodged my calls. So would I be the jerk if I told her to pack her things and move in with her grandmother?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
Tell her she is no longer allowed in your house and to find herself somewhere else to live NOW. Change the all the locks and be done with her. She is a user who abused YOUR DOGS and she is a liar.
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25. AITJ For Refusing To Give My Sister's Kids More Money?

“I (30 M) have been married to my wife (30 F) for 5 years. She does not come from a well-off family, however, my family is. My wife has two brothers (15 M and 14 M).

I have a good relationship with my in-laws, we eat dinner together twice a month.

My wife wants to offer her brothers opportunities and things she didn’t get growing up, while her parents are still struggling they struggled more when she was born due to her being a teen pregnancy.

So we get them birthday and Christmas gifts outside their parents’ budget, and we pay for birthday dinners.

14M has started doing sports which he couldn’t do before because of transportation and financial issues. We allow them to help around our house for money. Sometimes I’ll bring good food to their school so they don’t have to eat what their school gives them. We’ll give them money so they can get new clothes for school.

They’ll joke about how I’m their wallet or an ATM, but it’s all jokes. They’re good kids and I never had any issues with them.

Now here’s where the problem starts. I never thought my parents and sister had an issue with my wife and her family. My sister has 2 kids and is pregnant with her third.

It was my sister’s birthday, and we ate at a restaurant.

My sister then asked if I was going to be involved in my nieces and nephews’ lives when they got older. I said, of course, I love them. She then asked how involved I was going to be and brought up my BILS. Asking if I was going to contribute the same amount.

I said no, I’d give them gifts, pay for birthdays, and give them a chance to earn money from me. However, I’m not going to buy sports/hobby equipment, or new clothes for school, or bring them to and from practices or games. These are all things my sister and her husband could do.

She got mad at me and said I was playing favorites, my own blood over ‘greedy in-laws who are just using me for money.’ I left the dinner. However, my sister told my parents and they were mad at me.

I’ll help out my nieces and nephews when they need me, but their situation isn’t the same as my in-laws.

AITJ?”

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LilVicky 4 months ago
Your sister sounds very greedy, especially if they can afford what your BIL’s can’t. Ignore or block them all for awhile. NTJ
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24. AITJ For Eloping With My Now-Wife?

“My wife and I weren’t planning on eloping originally, we wanted to have a small wedding with our immediate family and close friends. I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters. My wife has 2 sisters and 5 brothers. If we stuck to immediate family to invite (grandparents, parents, siblings/spouses, and their children) our guest list would be 44 people.

We were aiming to have immediate family and some friends so around 60 people total. The problems started because our families wanted more. Both our families wanted to add extended family; such as aunts/uncles and cousins and great aunts/uncles. Plus ‘family friends’.

Additionally, I’m Italian and Mexican by descent (3 Italian grandparents and 1 Mexican grandparent).

My wife is Indian by descent. Our cultures are known for big and expensive weddings but we didn’t want that. I’m not kidding when I say the guest list would be 700 or more people if we invited everyone. I get shaky at the thought. Our parents and grandparents wanted to help us pay but it’s not about money, we didn’t want a spectacle.

Also, there were issues about what traditions to incorporate, food, the ceremony, and the venue. It stressed out and both of us wanted to avoid our families. Finally, we decided to elope.

Last weekend we took a long weekend road trip, got married on the beach just us, and spent 3 days in a lovely AirBnB with no phones or technology.

It was the best decision for us. Unfortunately both our families are furious. My mom cried and my dad and a couple of my siblings chewed me out. My grandparents were disappointed. My wife’s parents were so angry she ended up crying and her siblings and grandparents were mad too. Our families feel insulted and the extended families are mad about not being invited. I can’t even talk to my family because they are so mad, that my parents won’t stop bringing it up.

My wife and can’t even enjoy ourselves because we feel so demoralized.

Are we jerks for insulting our families by not wanting to have a 700-person wedding just because that’s what our families wanted? I know we should have just stood up to them and planned for the wedding we wanted but there was so much pressure it was like hitting a wall.

I feel like this is madness but both our families are against our decision.”

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rbleah 4 months ago
YOU DID NOT INSULT THEM. THEY ARE DEGRADING TO YOU AND YOUR WIFE. They want, they want, they want. THEY DON'T GET TO CHOOSE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU ANYMORE. You are both adults now and NOT CHILDREN that the whole fam damily gets to tell you HOW TO GET MARRIED. Good for both of you. Tell them YOU DID NOT WANT WHAT THEY WANTED. And don't let them tell you it was FOR YOU. That is just crap talk.
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23. AITJ For Trading My Kids' iPhones For Flip Phones?

“My kids are huge brats. They were mostly raised by my ex-wife as after our divorce about 10 years ago I got into a car accident and suffered a traumatic brain injury. I’m recovered now but I was wheelchair-bound, had about 30 surgeries during this time, and not physically or mentally able to care for myself much less my kids.

It’s not like I haven’t been a part of their lives but I have been living with my sister and brother-in-law until I finally have been able to live independently again the last year. My ex took them to see me every week at the beginning if not more and until recently they’d spend a week with me at my parents’ house every 6 weeks.

Now the kids are 12 f, 14 f, and 16 m. They started spending weekends with me as we changed our custody agreement with me having independence and stability now. I bought a house and my business is doing great, so all good there. I have unfortunately learned that my ex has spoiled them so much. There is only so much behavior you see when they’re not with you all the time but now I am starting to see the behavior my ex and my parents have been telling me about.

So, I took it upon myself to trade in all their iPhones for flip phones with old school number keyboards and everything.

My ex has expressed the want to do this for a while but always has an excuse ‘They need it to socialize during the global crisis’ ‘It’s part of the culture now’ and ‘They’ll feel left out’.

She was mad at me but ultimately said it’s for the best and they can earn their smartphones back with time.

The way I see it, they’re back in school, spend way too much time on their phones, and show serious signs of addiction.

They’re obviously pretty mad and are arguing non-stop, saying I don’t get what it’s like being their age and not having a phone.

So AITJ?”

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anma7 3 months ago
ESH... ex wife for spoiling them and not parenting them while you were incapacitated then not having the balls to take the phones away sooner... but instead she's let you get well and play bad cop.. i know what happened wasn't your fault but you can't suddenly go from part tike dad to I AM THE BOSS... and ex wife shouldn't let you, tell the kids TOGETHER that although both of you were in the wrong for the way it happened THEY have phones that can make receive calls and as such they can earn back the up to date phones when they realise that the are NOT entitled to the latest tech just cos their friends have it.. they can instead earn them back by a change in behaviour attitude and beig general decent human beings instead of the huge jerks that they have become... but you and ex HAVE to do this together ajf she needs tp acknowledge to the kids that SHE is behind the phones being taken and that she should have done ot sooner
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22. AITJ For Being Rude To My Sister's Guest For Forcing Me To Drink?

“I (21 F) don’t drink. It’s a fairly new thing (just over a year now), and it’s not a hard rule, but in general, if you ask me to drink the answer is a polite ‘I’m good thanks!’ It started out as a medication thing – I’m on quite strong antidepressants so while I can theoretically have A drink, I shouldn’t have more than that.

Being unable to drink made me realize that, actually, I hate who I am when I’m wasted. When I’m happy wasted, I do stupid things (think drink an entire bottle of vodka at a near-acquaintance’s house and throw up on their couch) and when I’m sad wasted, I scare my friends and family. I’m on strong anti-depressants for a reason.

Now, this guest (let’s call him A) was the maid of honor’s husband, and I’ve known him since I was 11. I have never liked him in all that time. He’s the kind of guy that won’t listen to a girl about what makeup suits her. I’m the type of girl who refuses to listen to someone who talks down to me.

We’ve fought many, many times. Every time my family has taken his side.

This time was fairly recent. My sister got married to my BIL, and the wedding was amazing! The ceremony was beautiful and the reception got raucous. I was a bridesmaid, so I was sitting at the main table, next to my brother and my date.

A is sitting across from us and is very, very wasted. Good for him, many people are. He keeps ordering shots for the whole group. Every time I decline he goes on about how I’m young, that it’s ‘just one shot’ (it was either tequila, which I absolutely CAN’T have, or something minty, which I hate).

This goes on the whole night. I’m getting progressively more and more annoyed. The evening ends, and we all go to bed, but I rant about it to my date and she agrees he was being horrible.

The next morning the maid of honor, A, the couple, and their families went out for brunch. It was very jokey but they were all super hungover.

There were mimosas, and I asked for plain orange juice, A made a snide comment about not being boring when he was my age. When it was time for me to go (I had to leave early) I made a joke ‘This was fun, next week good for run number two, everyone?’ Everyone groaned and laughed a little.

A said ‘We’ll all need new livers!’

I laughed a bit and said, ‘Well I won’t, but I’ll enjoy watching!’

He said ‘If you make us do this again, you better drink this time.’

This is where I may be the jerk. He WAS joking, but it was a tired joke and I was tired. So I snapped ‘Then you better pay my medical bills.’ My mom and brother told me I was incredibly rude, and that I needed to apologize.

I refuse. AITJ?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
NO, DO NOT APOLOGIZE. He is a donkey's rear end. Tell the fam you will not put up with him anymore.
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21. AITJ For Giving My Sister's Teacher A Piece Of My Mind?

“I (17 F) have a little sister who’s 12. Our family just moved to a new city about a month ago so we both had to change schools. It’s been alright for me so far but my sister’s been struggling to make new friends as she tends to be shy and quiet around new people.

To make matters worse, my sister’s teacher decided the other day to point this out in front of the whole class.

He made her and another girl who was also on the shy side stand up and come to the front of the class to announce that they would be receiving special ‘mentors’ who were just older students from the high school that I go to, to help them come out of their shells and deal with their ‘home and family problems’.

He did this without talking to my parents first. My sister was mortified and came home in tears that day. She said the whole day she could hear people whispering and staring at her.

My parents were a little mad that he didn’t talk to them first but said it wasn’t a big deal and just emailed the teacher saying that she wouldn’t be needing a ‘special mentor’.

I however was incensed, so the other day when I went to pick up my sister after school, I marched right into her classroom after everyone had left and it was just him and another teacher in the room and really gave him a piece of my mind. He got really quiet, apologized, and left.

Later, he emailed my parents and said he didn’t appreciate being yelled at by a teenager in front of his colleague and that he wanted to address any miscommunications in a civil manner. My parents were furious at me but honestly, it was worth it to me, if even just to show my sister an example of how to stand up for herself.”

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IDontKnow 2 months ago
NTJ. Good for you!! Your sister can't stand up for herself because she too shy (btw you did set a good example for her), your parents won't because of whatever, if you don't stand up for her, who will?
I'm proud of you for helping out your sister. I'm also disappointed your parents weren't. Keep having your sister's back until she can do it for herself.
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20. AITJ For Telling My Friend What I Think The Reason Is For Her Being Single?

“So I (25 F) have been friends with this girl Mary (27 F) for about 5 years. Ever since I met her she has had this thing going on with a guy (around 40 M) who used to be her boss. She quit because the wife would constantly come to the office and she said it was weird, whatever.

She was in love with this guy and was actually loyal to him while he was married to his high school sweetheart. The wife knows as well. Well, it’s been 5 years of friendship and she and this guy keep on and off when she leaves him he starts to stalk her, literally showing up at places he knows she’s at.

He’s a psycho and she somehow is okay with that despite what everyone tells her. I know what everyone will say. I can’t stress enough how many times I said how wrong that was but she is old enough and eventually, you get tired of trying to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.

Back to the topic, every time she ‘leaves’ him she starts seeing someone and she complains that they’re all the same, no one takes her for real. The main problem is that she met this guy a year ago. They were texting all the time. He was working in another country. He came to visit, slept with her, and eventually ghosted her.

She asked me for my opinion and I told her that even though I do believe the guy is a jerk for not being honest about his intentions, maybe the reason why guys don’t take her for real is because she always tells them about their ex and it just happens that this ex is a married man.

No one will want to date a woman who was ‘in a serious relationship’ with a freaking married man. She said she appreciated my honesty and left. She’s all mad at me according to a mutual friend, and said that I shouldn’t have said that since she can’t help who she falls in love with.

I said Okay but it’s like telling a man you’re a mistress and expecting him to believe you’ll be loyal to him, it’s weird. Our friends are divided between I was right but shouldn’t have said anything.

I think she needed to hear the truth I’m sorry, but now I feel bad because I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings so am I really the jerk, should I apologize?

Edit: She tells the guys about him, to give them a ‘heads up’ in case he shows up at a place they’re together. She doesn’t establish any boundaries with him.”

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IDontKnow 2 months ago
NTJ. If she didn't want the answer, she shouldn't have asked you the question. She may not be able to help who she falls in love with, but she CAN help who she sleeps with.
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19. AITJ For Snapping At A Jerk Dad In Disneyland?

“I’m (19 F) standing in line for guardians right now and there’s this family behind us playing heads up. Which is totally fine except every time we stop they run into us because they’re not paying attention.

The youngest is probably around 10 but the rest of the family are teens and adults. The last time they ran into me I turned around and NICELY asked if they could back up because they keep running into us. Teen/adult(?) girl says ‘It’s a line.’ So I say ‘I don’t care if you’re standing so close to us you bump into us every time you move it’s too close.’ The dad starts full-on yelling at me ‘ENOUGH’ over and over so I start telling him to shut up.

The mom says something about not cussing and I said I don’t care, don’t yell at me. My dad cuts in and says to the dad to knock it off. The sister pitches in ‘There are children here’ and again I say I don’t care, don’t be a jerk and you won’t get people angry at you.

Finally, things calmed down and now they’re standing a normal length behind us. I guess we have to be in the same car as them so that’s great, LOL.

Let me reiterate that I was calm and did not start cussing until the dad started yelling at me. And I don’t mean yelling as in raising his voice because he was upset, I mean yelling as in he got up in my face and was SCREAMING at me.

I never screamed back at him just raised my voice enough for our two parties to hear. I got in anyone’s face, I never cussed any child out, just the dad. If I wasn’t at Disney I would have done worse for even getting that close to me. I wasn’t mad at the kid for bumping me, she only bumped me once and I didn’t mind.

I only said something when the dad had run into me and my dad and my sister at least four times.”

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IDontKnow 2 months ago
NTJ. Sometimes inconsiderate people need to be told their being inconsiderate @$$hats. I would have done worse, and I would not have waited for him to bump into be 4+ times.
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18. AITJ For Not Wanting To Share A Room With My Dad's Friend?

“A couple of months ago my dad invited me (21 f) out to our family’s (technically my grandparents’) cabin and said I could bring a friend.

We could go hiking/fishing and have a belated 21st birthday celebration for me. I asked my friend Jen and I honestly thought it would just be Dad, Jen, and I.

We got here yesterday. Jen and I took one bedroom with 2 sets of bunk beds (so 4 beds total) and my dad took the other bedroom with a full bed. Then Jen and I went for a walk and when we got back my dad’s friend Hank was there.

I didn’t think anything of it and assumed Hank would be sleeping on the pull-out couch in the living room.

When Jen and I went into our room Hank’s duffel bag was on another bed. I asked my dad if Hank was sleeping in that room. He said yea. I said ‘Tell him to sleep on the pullout in the living room’.

He said, ‘No, I’m not kicking him out, what’s the big deal?’

I said, ‘2 girls in their 20s don’t want to share a bedroom with an older dude, Jen asked me to talk to you’.

He said, ‘You’ve known Hank your whole life just tell Jen that he’s harmless’.

I said, ‘Dad it’s not about him being harmless, it’s weird.

I don’t want to share a room with him.’

He said, ‘Oh come on, you slept in the same room with (uncle and male cousins) and that didn’t bother you’.

I said, ‘Yeah because I’m related to them and comfortable with them, I’m uncomfortable sleeping in the same room with Hank. He’s your friend you should share a room with him’.

He said, ‘I’m not telling him to sleep in my room, there’s only the full in there’.

I said, ‘Then switch with Jen and I and we’ll share the full. We’ve shared a bed before so it won’t be a big deal. Seriously either that or we’re leaving. I’m not sharing a room with Hank’.

He said, ‘Fine, I can’t believe you’re making such a big deal about this’. Then he went and grabbed his stuff and took it to the other room and made some comments about me being weird.

He’s sorta had an attitude since. So now I think maybe I overreacted.

AITJ for basically forcing my dad to switch rooms?

Edit: My dad grew up in a family of men, has 3 brothers and I’m basically the first girl to go to the cabin regularly. So he might just be oblivious.”

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rbleah 4 months ago
EWWWWW Tell dad YOUNG WOMEN BEING FORCED TO SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM AS AN OLD DUDE, TO YOU, IS WRONG. I would not do it as an OLDER woman, why would you want to as a YOUNG WOMAN? JUST EWWWW
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17. AITJ For Sharing My Inheritance With My Secret Sister?

“I (35 F) have four other siblings whom I have a very close relationship with. Our father recently passed away and left a big inheritance. I was also left in charge of dividing his assets and taking care of his business. My father confessed to me that there was another sibling (F 38) that the family was unaware of.

It says money brings forth evil and greed. And indeed it has!

As any concerned child, I dotted all i’s and crossed all t’s with a blood test, which concluded this woman was indeed my sister. I’ve taken the time to get to know her and my nieces. My siblings were welcoming as was my father’s wife.

The moment my father passed which was weeks after he dropped his love child on our lap, they changed especially upon learning she’d been named in the will. They felt it was my doing since I was the executor of such, but they failed to realize this was my father’s wish. It infuriated my father’s family, which includes his wife, her kids, my aunts, uncles, and cousins, who were looking forward to my father’s money.

Mind you these people weren’t around on a day-to-day basis. They used him like an ATM. If it’d been up to me I’d cut his wife out as well, because, in the end, it was me who’d taken care of my father until his dying day. His wife and her kids were making purchases with his money while he was on his deathbed.

I believed my father left me in charge because he knew I would do the right thing. There wasn’t a specific amount that was to go to those named in the will. It was up to me. This is what my father wanted. He admitted that he wasn’t there for my secret sister as he had been for me and my siblings, therefore I felt she deserved every penny I’d given her and then some.

Unfortunately, that came with his wife and other relatives contesting the will and me practically being shunned by my father’s side, which I honestly couldn’t care less about. I’ve been receiving all kinds of verbal abusive calls from my aunts, uncles, my stepbrothers, and sisters about how I betrayed the family! Oddly enough my own siblings have cold-shouldered me because of it, but I don’t see why.

AITJ?”

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IDontKnow 2 months ago
NTJ. You don't see why everyone including your siblings have cold-shouldered you? It's because they're selfish and greedy!! You're not. THAT is why your father left YOU in charge of his estate. So just abide by your father's wishes, and continue to do the right thing. Give the greedy people as little as possible while giving the people who actually deserve it, more. If they don't like it, tell them to take a good long, hard look at themselves in the mirror. And continue to think about your father and what he would have wanted.
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16. AITJ For Making My Daughter Wear A Romper On A Wedding?

“My mom and my significant other get along great normally. In April my significant other (f 27) and daughter (f 1) traveled to Arizona for a wedding on her side of the family. While I (m 30) wanted to go I got a new job that required me to be in training for 6 weeks and the wedding happened right in the middle.

My partner was cool with me staying back because her whole family, mom dad brothers sisters, were all going and they’re really helpful with our daughter. They stayed for 10 days and I watched her family’s dogs for them so they didn’t have to be kenneled etc.

While they were on vacation I got a text from my mom that she wanted to ask a question because she was upset about something.

She asked me if my significant other wanted our daughter to be a boy. I was so confused I literally replied ‘What?’ My mom proceeded to go on about how my daughter was dressed because she wore a baseball cap at the Grand Canyon. I told her So what maybe that’s the only hat she brought.

Then my mom went on about how in the pictures from the wedding my daughter was wearing a romper while all the other girls ‘were in their pretty dresses’. I snapped at her and told her that who cares how my daughter is dressed. She’s one year old and I doubt my significant other wanted to deal with putting her in a dress, plus the wedding was outdoors on a farm.

Fast forward to the drive home from the airport, I told my significant other what my mom had said. Obviously, she was hurt by my mom judging how we dressed our daughter. We both agreed it was none of my mom’s business how she’s dressed and our daughter can decide to be whoever she wants when she is older.

We decided not to go to a family party on my family’s side because we were upset by my mom’s behavior. My mom sent us this long pity party text in a group text and my significant other texted back that we were hurt by what she said. My mom texts me outside of the group message and says that she can’t believe I betrayed her.

That was supposed to be between me and her so on and so forth. I told her that we are a team as parents and I’m not going to hide her bigotry if she’s going to act like that. My mom and I have not spoken since and she told my significant other that she won’t talk to me until I apologize.

We have both agreed that I shouldn’t have to apologize and my mom should be the one apologizing. AITJ for not just swallowing my pride and apologizing?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
NO NO NO You should NOT apologize. Your child is not much past being an INFANT. Who cares, other than your meddling mom, what that baby wears? If I had a daughter that age I would NEVER have put her in an outfit that would be a major pain trying to change her diapers. Dressing a child that age in FLOOF JUST BECAUSE GRANDMA MIGHT GET EMBARRASSED? Grandma has issues that SHE needs to deal with. Like you said THIS IS YOUR CHILD NOT HERS. She needs to get back in her lane.
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15. AITJ For Not Sympathizing With My Sister With Diabetes?

“I (24 f) have an older sister (30 F) who has been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes since she was 13. When she was first diagnosed my mother would give her the medicine, and she complained that it was embarrassing to have her mother come to the school.

So my mother changed it to the school nurse. She complained once she was about 16 that she didn’t like having her do it anymore. My parents decided to allow her to do it on her own, but then we found out that instead of taking her shot, my sister would just roam the halls or get food.

She missed 1 to 2 shots every day for an entire year because she just refused to take them

After this was discovered my parents put her into therapy. (Because they wanted her to have someone to talk to about the embarrassment of taking her medicine.)She stayed in therapy for about 3 years but quit when she moved out.

On her 20th birthday, she decided to go to an ice cream shop. She had 3 seizures. She had the first initial one, one in the ambulance, and another in the CT scan machine. I remember walking into the room to her being restrained to the bed. It is heartbreaking seeing someone you love tied up like an animal. I can see the pain the seizure caused her.

We all broke down crying begging her to move back home. She agreed.

After the seizure, we thought she was doing better. We bought a new fridge, and we were cleaning out her old one when we discovered that some of her medicine had expired. For context, her medicine lasts 28 days refrigerated. She gets a new batch every month, It is very common for diabetics to run out of medicine, so for her to have multiple containers of medicine being over meant she wasn’t taking her medicine.

We stage an intervention. We told her we love and want her to be alive and healthy, and she promised to change.

Then when I was 17, I came home from school to find her having a seizure. This situation is still too traumatic to talk about. At 27, she had her last seizure and was put into a medically induced coma out of fear she would have another, After this, her vision declined greatly.

Recently, my sister was told that she may lose her foot to diabetes.

When she told me, I didn’t react. Normally, I am a big advocator of you never know a person’s struggle, always show compassion, and things of that nature, but this time I couldn’t. Since I was 12, I’ve had to watch my family beg her to take her medicine.

We tried therapy, nurses, and everything else. She kept pushing the issue until I exploded and said that I couldn’t give her sympathy in a situation we’ve repeatedly tried to stop. I don’t have the energy to do it. I am 4 months pregnant. I can’t handle the interventions, the lies, or just any of it.

My mother and sister both say I am a jerk because I should stick with family. It isn’t that I don’t care, but it’s just the fact that she won’t change or listen. AITJ?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
At some point she must either take control of herself or give up. YOU DON'T NEED TO ENABLE HER ANYMORE. You have enough on your plate and since she does not care about herself YOU can't do it for her.
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14. AITJ For Not Picking My Friend's Side?

“I (f, late fifties) have been dear friends with a family for nearly 40 years, having been close friends at college with the daughter of the family, ‘Rose’.

Her parents were incredibly kind and generous toward me and I spent a lot of time at their summer house, skiing with them, etc. Later on, after my mom died when I was 33, they even had my Dad up for a long weekend to stare at the ocean and grieve. I also became close friends with Rose’s two brothers, ‘Theodore’ and ‘Sebastion’.

When I was in my mid-twenties, Theodore married ‘Ophelia’. I became friends with Ophelia as well.

We all tended to have a wonderful time together, although Theodore and Ophelia would squabble. Over the years Ophelia started drinking more and more. The squabbling became worse and worse – to the point where we didn’t see them so often because it was so stressful.

Rose and Sebastion married and as everyone grew their families and moved to pursue careers, we saw each other less frequently but kept in touch via social media. I saw Ophelia one-on-one from time to time – she always needed emotional support, and mostly we had fun together, except when she would get sloppy wasted (kind of often).

Then finally, Theodore had had enough of the drinking and fighting, and after extensive couples therapy, asked for a divorce. Ophelia was very bitter and angry and would berate me if I ‘liked’ any social media posts from her ex-husband and in-laws.

It has been a few years since the divorce, and since then my family has suffered severe trauma and has been dealing with issues of PTSD and physical health.

Not going into it here, but it was a horrific crime. Theodore and family have been supportive = as much as they can from different states (US). After I messaged Ophelia what happened, she responded that she was sorry, and then… crickets. Nothing.

This past weekend the funeral for the patriarch of the family, near the family’s summer home.

While sad, the death occurred after years of dementia, so folks were prepared. My family was invited back to the house after the funeral and had a wonderful time catching up with everyone. I posted a picture of a beautiful view from their house, tagging everyone. Late that night Ophelia sent a tirade over private message, accusing me of disloyalty and all manner of crappy things and asking why I wasn’t cutting them off.

I responded that my picture had nothing to do with her and that I was focused on the people who had actually been my friends during a very dark time.

AITJ for taking sides after Ophelia tried to make me take hers? I chose the side that came with emotional support – and it was not hers.”

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rbleah 4 months ago
She has issues that you DO NOT NEED TO DEAL WITH. She needs AA and therapy. She has a problem with you still keeping up a friendship with people you knew BEFORE she came along and expects you to GIVE THEM UP FOR HER? Does not work that way. Cut contact with her and keep your TRUE FRIENDS.
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13. AITJ For Not Planning On Erasing The Pokemon Game Before I Give My Old 3DS To My Nephew?

“I (32 F) have been a lifelong Pokemon fan. I got Red when it was first released, and have played every generation since. My nephew (11) is also a giant Pokemon fan, but his family is not financially well off enough to afford a gaming system so he’s been relegated to TV and cards. For his birthday, with his parents’ permission, I thought I’d give him my old spare 3DS and a few Pokemon games I don’t see myself playing again.

On one of the Pokemon games (Ultra Moon, for anyone wondering), I have completed the game and the Pokedex, and the game is loaded with legendaries. I planned to not erase my save file on this one game because I know that as a kid, I would have loved being able to play with all these super rare Pokemon waaaaay before I had the skill power to actually catch them myself.

I figured I’d erase the other two and leave this one as is, tell my nephew it has a bunch of powerful Pokemon on it if he wants to play around with them and give him the option for me to erase the game if he wants to start it from the beginning.

I mentioned this to my nephew’s dad and he got kinda mad.

He’s a very competitive man and he pushes my nephew into competitive sports, he thinks giving my nephew a completed game takes any ‘lesson’ out of the game and makes it pointless. He’s older and never played video games so he doesn’t get how fun using legendaries for a kid could be. I told him I’d give my nephew the option but he said no because that gave my nephew the opportunity to ‘take the easy way’.

He also said, ‘What kid wants a game that’s already been played?’

So AITJ for planning to not erase the Pokemon game before I give it to my nephew?”

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IDontKnow 2 months ago
No. NTJ. Your nephew's father is a moron. Either that, or he wants them to look new, so Nephew thinks they're new. You know what I mean?
Gift your nephew everything you were planning on giving him, but leave that one game out. At a later date, tell him you have it, everything you have in it, and ask him then. Or if you think his father is going to erase it regardless, keep it, and let him play with the legendaries when you're together.
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12. AITJ For Giving My Baby A Ukrainian Name?

“I’m (26 f) due to give birth to our son next month. My husband (28 m) and I are very excited. I know most people are going to say it’s mine and my husband’s decision on what to name our child, but I would still like to hear the opinions of others.

I was born in Ukraine, to a Ukrainian family. Most of my childhood was spent in Israel though, as my parents decided to move there in the 90’s. We later moved back to Ukraine when I was a teenager. I now live in the UK with my British husband and am planning to raise my child here.

Originally we were planning to name our son Dmitriy, which is my grandfather’s name. My grandpa is honored and obviously loves the fact we chose that name. It’s mostly my husband’s decision, he loves the name and everything to do with Ukrainian and Slavic culture, and he considers it a strong and beautiful name. He refuses to consider any other names, and I’m happy with it anyway.

Since the war started back in my home, we have decided to change the name from Dmitriy to Dmytro, which is basically the Ukrainian version of the name. The shorter version, which will be used on a day-to-day basis, is Dima for both names (similar to Kate being the short version of Katherine).

My mother however thinks it’s a horrible idea to name our child a Slavic, Ukrainian name, since the child will be living in the UK.

She wants us to consider English names like Henry or Harry, something that will be easier to understand here. She thinks the name will not go well in an English-speaking country and others will have trouble pronouncing it or understanding it here. I disagree with her, as I think the UK, and specifically London where we live, is very diverse and has names from many different cultures which people accept and eventually learn to pronounce when needed.

I understand it’s our decision as parents to name our child however we like. But are we jerks for potentially putting our child in a position where his name would be considered weird? Is Dima, Dmytro, really that much of a weird name to have in the UK? Will he have trouble fitting in, in your opinion?

I don’t want our child to despise us for our choice, and we don’t want his life to be harder because of it.”

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helenh9653 3 months ago
A Ukrainian name in the UK. Wow, that's really going to stand out - NOT. You can name your son whatever you like: your mum has no say in it.
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11. AITJ For Not Allowing My Roommates From Connecting To The Internet?

“I’ve lived with my roommates for over a year. After we signed to renew the lease for a second year they both started bullying me in my own home and in front of mutual friends.

I don’t know exactly why they’re bullying me.

I think in part because they don’t like my partner. My roommates and I used to spend a lot of time together but since I started going out with her I spend more time with her. We take road trips during the weekends. I frequently stay at hers because she has her own place.

I think this is how my second roommate started feeling hurt. We were thick as thieves until I started going out with her and was out of the house a lot.

The main hint from one of the roommates was that I hadn’t invited them to go on any of the road trips with us and hadn’t gone on a road trip with just them.

I understand I should have planned a road trip with just them. I wouldn’t invite them on our road trips because they’re rude to my partner.

They also said I’ve become cold and distant, but I didn’t become cold and distant until they started bullying me. I don’t think I owe anyone who is bullying me anything, much less kindness or time.

Five months of bullying included constant direct and passive insults, putting me down in front of other people, purposefully excluding me from outings with mutual friends, talking trash behind my back, spreading rumors, the silent treatment, passive-aggressively moving my things, yelling, purposefully disturbing my sleep, preventing me from using common spaces, rules for thee but not for me, etc.

The confrontation was about them talking trash behind my back because I had a few people tell me they were. I told them that means the rumor mill is going and given the tight-knit community we’re in that’s not acceptable. The first roommate gave me a half-meant apology along the lines of I’m sorry it got back to you but I’m not sorry for what I did because I needed to vent.

The second roommate started with a heavy dose of misogyny with a super condescending you need to calm down. I was talking in a calm and direct manner. Then he denied talking trash. Then the first roommate said she wasn’t sorry and retracted her half-meant apology. Then the second roommate admitted to talking trash, said he would continue talking trash, and that I had to put up with it.

I took that as they will continue bullying me in my own home and I have to sit down and shut up.

They’ve made me feel unsafe in my own home for months and self-righteously told me they will continue to do so through the end of the lease.

In response, I blocked their devices on the router.

This is where I think I could be the jerk because they both work from home. They texted me about it and I said they would have their internet back when they stop bullying me. They both said talking trash is normal venting, not bullying. The second roommate also denied that he admitted to bullying behavior and told me to put up with it.

AITJ?

Info: They contribute to the cost of the internet but they’re both a few months behind in sending me their portion for the internet bill and I will not charge them for this month or moving forward.”

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LilVicky 4 months ago
You need to talk to your landlord or leasing agency & see if you can get out of the lease. Tell them that you’re being bullied & no longer feel safe. Don’t unblock their devices, they don’t deserve to use something that only you are paying for. NTJ but move out as soon as you can
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10. AITJ For Being Angry At My Sister For Telling Grandma About My Baby?

“I recently gave birth to my second child and my husband and I decided not to tell anyone other than our parents that I’d gone into labor. This included not posting any pictures until we got home.

Well, things went south while I was in labor and I ended up needing a C-section. I was in the hospital for three days and just got home today.

We decided to let people know today that the baby was here and we were home. I called my 80-year-old grandmother and let’s just say she was less than happy as my sister whom I will call Kelly had already told her the day she was born and accused my husband, me, and my mother of wanting to keep the baby from her.

I was understandably upset as no one was supposed to even know.

I called Kelly several times and she never answered the phone. I finally texted her demanding to know if she’d told grandma. She played dumb for a few minutes which only made me more angry. She finally admitted to it and she found out because her partner’s mom STALKED my dad’s social media page and he had posted a picture TODAY talking about the baby (he was given permission from my husband and me before posting the said picture).

This is where I might be the jerk, I LOST it. I completely lost my temper. I told her that she wasn’t the baby’s mother or father and it wasn’t her place to tell anyone the baby was here. I told her I never wanted her around my child. She hung up and blocked me.

Now that I’m calm and have slept more, I feel like I massively overreacted. Both my mom and husband said I didn’t but I feel like I did. So AITJ?”

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LilVicky 4 months ago
Nope. You told her NOT too & she did it anyway. NTJ
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9. WIBTJ I Help Set Up An Intervention For My Husband's Brother And Sister-In-Law?

“My husband (29) and I (28) have been getting annoyed, frustrated, and honestly hurt by my husband’s brother (27) and his wife (28).

For ease, I will call my husband DH, my husband’s brother B, and my husband’s brother’s wife W.

Long story short, over the past few months B and W have done a bunch of small things that have led us to be overly annoyed and hurt by them. It’s gotten to the point that we are now getting annoyed by every little thing they do, and we understand that that is unfair to both us and them and that this needs to be fixed.

Here is a list of some things they have done. This is by no means a full list, I’m just trying to add the biggest things.

1. Asked me to help plan DH’s birthday gift (tickets to a sports game) to make sure he’s available. They then bought the tickets without telling me (DH was not free that day), bought tickets for themselves and a bunch of their other friends (DH has never met their friends), saying it would be a party, but didn’t invite me.

DH wasn’t free anyway, so he couldn’t go.

2. We were on a family vacation with DH and B’s parents. DH, I, B, and W were all camped out on air mattresses in the living room. DH and I woke up to W giving B a blow job 10 feet away from us.

3. B and W will make plans with us, and set a date, and a time, but then something better will come up and they will ask us to postpone last minute.

I understand sometimes plans change, and we are fairly reasonable, but of the 4 plans we made with them in the last 3 months, 3 of them have been ‘postponed’ (They never actually got replanned)

4. We try to get ahold of B and W multiple times through calling, texting, social media messaging, etc. and they never respond. One instance of this was when they borrowed a rake from us and we needed it back.

Texted them, no response, 2 days later, texted again, no response. Texted again that night, no response. Called the next day, no response. Finally got ahold of them 3 days later, and it took them another week to return it.

DH and I want to sit B and W down and have a calm civil talk. We would go into it unemotionally, not yelling or swearing, and just state the facts.

Something along the lines of ‘When you do … it makes us feel … We’re not sure if you are aware of how your actions are affecting those around you. We were hoping that we could work this out together and things could be fixed, but if your actions don’t change, we will have to stop making plans with you or reaching out’.

WWBTJ if we had this discussion with them? I don’t want them to feel attacked or feel like we’re ‘staging an intervention’.”

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helenh9653 3 months ago
Don't waste your efforts. Just don't make any plans with them in future. And if you go on a family vacation, either spend the extra to get your own room, or stay home.
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8. AITJ For Correcting My Mother For What She Said About Paying For My Flight School?

“I (~20 F) am going to flight school. It’s expensive. My mother (50 F) is driving me to and from the lessons since I am not allowed to drive her new car; it’s about a 10-minute drive each way.

I have paid for all the materials and will be paying for each lesson on my own. My parents refuse to help financially despite the fact that they paid for my sister’s entire first year of college, and are spending thousands on taking four cruises over the next six months. No biggie, it’s their money, I just picked up another job and am splitting time.

I’m bitter about it, but solved the problem myself.

Last week, my mother told everyone at an event that ‘she’s working so hard because she has to pay for flight school.’ I corrected her ABOUT this manner: ‘What do you mean you’re paying for flight school? I thought you were paying for all those cruises.’

She has refused to talk to me since that happened last week. She says that it embarrassed her as my mother and that driving me to the lessons means she’s making a huge sacrifice as my parent.

I found out yesterday, via my brother, that she announced on her social media that she was in a financial crisis over how expensive my flight lessons were.

I reactivated my deleted social media account purely to tell her, in the comments, to knock it off. I combatted her announcement with ‘You aren’t paying for anything regarding my flight lessons. Stop lying to your friends for your fake good-mom-credits. If anything, you should be openly saying that I’m paying for it – like a mother who’s actually proud of her daughter would probably do.’

She cried. She and my father are calling me a jerk for embarrassing them/really just my mother at the family event and on her social media.

AITJ for embarrassing my mom at the event, and on social media? Should I have given her more ‘credit’ as a parent and let her have this pride?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
Parents like her should STOP LYING just to get kudos.
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7. AITJ For Not Wanting Any Help?

“I (48 M) am partially deaf, epileptic, and with spinal damage, but fiercely independent and will only ask for help if I need it. Not always sociable.

My friend (29F) is a wheelchair user (paralyzed from the waist down, thinks everyone should be her friend, and panics at a moment’s notice. Likes to spread the love very thickly with a trowel.)

‘A’ and I have been friends for some time now. Recently, my health has begun to degrade and I’m having to make multiple hospital visits and GP visits per month. A is always asking me how I am, what’s happening with my health, am I getting better, am getting worse, do I need any help, support, counseling, etc.

I’m usually quite polite and just tell her the absolute basics. The more she hears, the more she draws her own conclusions about me and starts making pronouncements about what the doctors should be doing, what medicines I should be on, etc.

This is starting to become quite grating on me. Generally, I’m quite a private person, and I keep myself to myself unless it’s vitally necessary.

A couple of days ago, I finally snapped. I mentioned to her that I had a review with my GP to check up on my back problems, and out of the blue, A pipes up: ‘Do you want me to come with you and make sure you’re okay?’

I didn’t know what to say for a few moments, and she continued ‘I know going to the doctor’s can be scary.’ Like I’m 5 and frightened of the bad man in the office… This is where I may have become the jerk: I told A that ‘I appreciate her concern, but I really don’t think that I need my mummy to come and hold my hand while the nasty doctor checks me over.’

She has taken this as me saying that I don’t want to be her friend anymore, and wheelflounced off into the distance. She later texted me and told me to get lost and never speak to her again. This, I’m perfectly fine with. It’s her choice, not mine. But, am I the jerk for behaving like that?”

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MadameZ 4 months ago
NTJ. OK maybe you should have said a bit sooner that you don't want to discuss your health with her and that, if you need her help, you will ask, but it is very tiresome to have someone keep on pushing and patronizing you.
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6. AITJ For Being Reluctant About Approving My Sister's Book About Our Parents' Love Story?

“My (21 F) father died when I was a teenager and my mother died 2 years ago. They met in freshman year of high school but did not start going out until junior year because my dad was my mom’s best friend’s brother.

I won’t go into too much detail because this story would be a mile long but long story short they slept together at a party and everything after that is history. Their love story reads like a romance book and for that reason, my sister (20 F) decided to turn it into one. When my mother was dying in the hospital my sister asked for her blessing to write the biography.

My mother, being who she was, said yes without any hesitation, and she died a few weeks later. My sister never went into too much detail about what exactly she asked our mother for permission to write, I don’t know if she ever disclosed any of the very personal and private details in the book.

It is important to note that my mother and father were both very popular people, my father inherited a large company from his father, and my mother was in her teens and early twenties. They weren’t nobodies who would only be remembered by this book, people knew their names.

I didn’t find out about it until pretty recently when my sister mentioned it in passing, I didn’t think much of it at the time but when she gave me a copy of it to read after she got it back from the editor, it was probably the most beautiful piece of writing that I had ever seen.

It captured their love from a narrator’s perspective and it was all completely real, with no exaggeration or added events for dramatic effect, the only creative license my sister took was to add some minor inconsequential dialogue and to put what my mother described into a third-person perspective.

Apparently, she interviewed some of their friends from high school, including my aunt (my dad’s sister and my mother’s best friend), and with my mother’s permission she read what was in my mother’s journals that she has kept religiously her entire life, she dug deep into their lives and pulled every skeleton out of their closets, yet somehow still portraying them both in a very positive light.

So far you are probably wondering why I’m even here asking for advice. It all sounds pretty amazing, right? Well, the one thing that is making me hesitate to give her permission is the fact that, like most romance novels out there, the book contains some pretty graphic scenes, all based on real facts from my mother’s journals.

She also wrote about a substance-induced event that my mother suffered in high school. She wasn’t an addict and just used occasionally with my father. My parents were always very body-positive people, so I have never been in some strange form of denial about the fact that my parents slept together, but I also don’t know if I want the entire world to know my parent’s bedroom likes and dislikes, any specific encounters that happened between them, or the mistake that my mother made that caused her to lose a pregnancy.

My sister wants my permission for her own peace of mind, she doesn’t want to publish a book that mentions my parents, and briefly me without me giving the okay.

Am I the jerk for hesitating to sign off?”

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IDontKnow 2 months ago
If the information came from your mother's personal diaries, then no one really knows if the things your sister put in that book are actual facts or semi-facts blown up and exaggerated for dramatis effect. Or made up all together. Change their names. Have your sister use a pseudonym. Change and/or change whatever so it's not easy for people to realize the book is about anybody they know, ie your parents. Then publish the book.
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5. AITJ For Being Mad At My Dad And Stepmom For Not Letting Me And My Sister Connect With Our Mom?

“I have a little sister who still struggles with having divorced parents even though both my parents have been remarried for more than 6 years. We see each parent 50/50.No step-siblings but we have half-siblings.

My little sister was really struggling the last time we were at my dad’s and really wanted my mom.

My stepmom was trying to comfort her and being like its okay, you’ll see your mom soon blah blah blah, we love you etc. The thing is, my mom lives 15 minutes away and would have come to see my sister if she needed her. My dad wouldn’t let me text my mom about it and said that my sister would be okay in a bit and that he and my stepmom were her parents too and could take care of her.

I then told my dad that he was extremely selfish to keep our mom from my sister. I told him he clearly doesn’t care about my sister and me because we’re nothing but a business deal to him that he got half off on during his divorce transaction. I said he needed to stop being selfish because he got his wife that he wanted and he got to have and he got to have kids with her like he wanted. I said he chose his life and he had no business having more kids who feel secure and have access to both their parents while his first two kids have to watch and suffer

I told him he was slowly losing the right to call himself our dad because a good dad would clearly see he was incapable of making his daughter (my sister) happy and would let her see our mom.

My stepmom tried to get involved then and I told her she was no better and it was obvious that my sister and I were the least loved in their house and to leave me alone because she was also selfish for having kids with a man who already had kids he only pretended to love.

They both are ignoring me now kind of so I would like to know I am a jerk.”

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anma7 3 months ago
NTJ... but you seem to have a dad and a step momster that are jerks.. so when you go home explain to mom exactly what goes on... it could be that it's court ordered and ad such mom can't change the visitation agreement.. you don't state your ages either so I will take it you are mid/late teens and sis is younger... maybe do some research of your own on the legal age you can make your own decisions about how much time you go to dad's house.. then if you and sis are old enough work that into the conversation with mom about it all
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4. AITJ For Stopping Helping Pay For My Nephews' Tuition?

“I (39 F) recently got divorced. It was my fault, I had a one-night stand with a colleague, and he fell in love, and when I didn’t want to follow him, he sent ‘evidence’ of ‘our love’ to my then-husband (John, 45 M).

I know I was wrong for having an affair, that’s not my question.

All things considered, the divorce proceedings were relatively amicable. I really wanted to stay in our home, it’s where I raised our son (David, 17 M), and we found a way to make that possible.

Soon after the divorce, my father (76 M) was diagnosed with cancer.

He always wanted to go on a cruise with the whole family and is planning the big voyage for the next holidays (treatments permitting). But that time was meant to be time for John to see David, so I need John’s OK. I brought it up with him, and he understood that my father’s diagnosis changed things.

But he didn’t agree immediately, he wanted to talk to David first. That talk hasn’t happened yet.

Meanwhile, school tuition comes due, we send David to an expensive private school. John has an impressive income, and he’s happy to pay for David’s education.

But, prior to our divorce, we were helping my sister (Susan, 43 F), who is not as wealthy, by paying to send her two children (16 M and 13 M) to the same school.

Susan gets the bill and sends it to John. He responded that since they are not family anymore, it isn’t his problem.

Susan thinks it isn’t fair for her children to have to switch schools since they have both already been going there, have friends there, and would have to go to a lesser-quality school.

Susan and her family have been relying on him, and it’s cruel of John to cut them off.

My parents think that because the divorce was my fault, this is my responsibility. They suggested I sell the house and come live with them. They have even found someone who would buy it, my cousin. I don’t want to do this, primarily because of my parents smoking, but also it’s not as straightforward as they make it sound.

In the divorce, we set up the deed to transfer the property to David after I died. John wanted to ensure that if I were to remarry, it wouldn’t end up with my hypothetical stepchildren.

John thinks it’s nothing to do with him anymore, and if there is a budget for a cruise then it’s time for the rest of the family to step up and get them through this transition.

In any case, though, I don’t really want to push back on him because he hasn’t technically agreed to let David go on the holiday and I don’t want to mess up my father’s possible last wish.

I feel guilty about the situation; I don’t see a happy way of getting the money together.

But I also agree that it is unfair that my nephews will likely have to move schools due to no fault of their own. I wish I could help, but I’m not the wealthy aunty I was a year ago, I’m by no means living in poverty, but I don’t have that kind of spare money either.

Does that make me the jerk?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
You screwed up and have to deal with it. Seems you and your EX have dealt very well without screaming fits between you. Next is WHY would your sis EXPECT YOUR EX to still be responsible for YOUR SISTER's KIDS? He is correct, he is no longer part of your family. He is your son's DAD ONLY now. And since you can't afford to pay sis needs to step up for her own kids. You can't make it YOUR PROBLEM as you can't do anything about it.
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3. AITJ For Making Guests Dress More Modestly?

“I have two close friends who I hang out with often. We’ll call them ‘Mike’ and ‘Kevin’.

They have wives named ‘Jane’ and ‘Ally’. My wife is okay with Mike and Kevin, but not a big fan of Jane and Ally. I’d say I’m somewhat friendly with both women, but only within the friend group.

We are comfortable middle/upper middle class. Mike and Kevin both have significantly more money than we do, which does sometimes make things awkward.

My wife has explained that Jane and Ally give off snobby vibes and she just doesn’t enjoy them when their life experiences are so different. I get that, so I don’t invite them to our house because she shouldn’t have to be uncomfortable.

Well, I recently had a birthday and invited them over. Honestly my fault, I wasn’t clear in the text, so Jane and Ally came as well.

My wife was annoyed and I apologized for poor planning. My wife is not feeling great about herself right now. She is burnt out, and tired, and we have 3 little kids. She said she didn’t want Jane and Ally prancing around in swimsuits when they had so much money to funnel into their appearance. Ally doesn’t have kids, and Jane has multiple nannies.

I said uninviting them was embarrassing, and I was looking forward to this hangout and asked if it would be ok if I kept them outside and made sure they were wearing appropriate clothing.

To be honest, I felt a little weird, but in her words, the only way those ‘rich idiots’ were coming over was if I said something.

My wife agreed. When they got there I stopped them outside and explained that my wife had a baby 3 months ago, and out of respect I needed everyone to keep their clothes on, and I needed Jane to find clothes as she was literally walking around in a revealing swimsuit. I did not want to make this into a gender issue, so I said no one was swimming and the guys could keep their shirts on.

They didn’t say anything at the moment, but later Ally began taking digs about how if she knew ahead of time she wouldn’t have made me a cake. Kevin got kind of mad at me about making Jane cover up and was making jokes about his trophy wife. They ended up leaving early because Jane and Ally were getting more and madder about it.

Apparently, Ally is really mad and says I shamed them and she isn’t responsible for my wife’s feelings. Kevin and Mike also said it was ‘weird’ and ‘inappropriate’ and I should have organized a get-together at a neutral location instead of making everyone feel so uncomfortable.”

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anma7 3 months ago
ESH... so the rich jerk like to make YOUR wife feel crappy in her OWN HOME on a regular basis and you shut them down and somehow its your fault... err nope HUBBIES need to tell their wives that common decency means they DONT talk crap about the host or HIS WIFE in THEIR HOME.. also you need to help wife see that 12wks post birth is nothing and the fact that these 2 barbies resort to DRS to look the way they do says more about them than her beautiful post birth body
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2. AITJ For Not Wanting To Get A Borzoi Dog?

“I (M 34) have been with my partner (F 46) for 7 years. She has been asking for a Borzoi breed dog since the start of our relationship. Initially, I thought it would be a short-lived obsession so I jokingly would say yes we can get one but only when we move in. She seemed very happy with this.

Fast forward 2 years and we finally moved in together. Once again, the conversation of buying a Borzoi dog game up, I kept deferring it making up excuses such as the flat is too small, we’re too busy, and so on. She was mad but she understood so we moved on with our happy lives, Borzoi dog-free.

Once again fast forward another 2 years and we moved into a house, our beautiful dream house, a garden, 2 floors, and plenty of space, or as my partner describes it… ‘Big enough for a Borzoi dog.’ We also found new jobs where we could work from home so we would have enough time to look after this hypothetical Borzoi dog.

This is where things went downhill in our relationship. She once again brought up buying a Borzoi dog, I was cornered, and my excuses no longer apply. I tried prolonging it by saying not yet, and bless my partner for her patience she kept sighing and leaving the discussion. Then 2020 came and one of the very few perks of the global crisis was that dogs became extremely expensive and that became my new reason not to buy the Borzoi dog.

I milked the excuse during the global crisis but now it isn’t affecting dog prices… so her obsession with getting the Borzoi dog has returned.

I should now explain why I don’t want a Borzoi dog. Simply, they’re the most hideously creepy dogs I have ever seen. Its face makes me incredibly uncomfortable and I cannot imagine having one in the house a running around.

It reminds me of the slender man but as a dog. As ridiculous as it may seem, I fear it. My partner thinks the complete opposite.

It has now become so much of an obsession she has started buying Borzoi cuddly toys, framed pictures, electronic cases, kitchenware, decorations, ALL Borzoi themed. The Borzoi dog has taken over my house and my partner.

We haven’t argued over it yet but my partner genuinely is heartbroken that I won’t get her one.

She’d cry when binge-watching videos of them and it would break my heart so a couple of months ago I finally explained my utter disgust of Borzoi dogs, I explained how the Borzoi dog genuinely disturbs me.

She said that I lied to her all these years promising her the dog, I led her on, and that if she didn’t get the dog then she’d consider leaving me. I don’t want to lose her but I can not bring myself to live with a Borzoi dog.

AITJ for telling her that we’re not getting a Borzoi dog?

Edit: I love dogs in general but the Borzoi dogs specifically freak me out. I wouldn’t mind getting a different dog but she doesn’t want any other.”

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IDontKnow 2 months ago
Yeah YTJ. Despite the fact that I can see where you're coming from, you did lie to her and lead her on. I think it's weird that she wants this specific dog, but you have known from the start of your relationship that she wanted one. Also, we don't know why she wants only this specific breed of dog. It could be for a legitimate reason.
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1. AITJ For Calling My Best Friend A Gold Digger?

“I (39 F) have been best friends with ‘Jill’ (40 F) since we were in high school.

Between the two of us, she’s always been a bombshell.

Blonde, tall, slim, etc.

She never went out anyone in high school which was weird to me because almost everyone in our school did, including myself. When we were in college and she was still turning guys down I asked her why and she said she wants someone who is financially stable. I laughed it off at the time.

I should also mention she grew up poor, as in ‘her mother was going to the food bank’ poor.

After we graduated, she got a job at a gym teaching Yoga, I continued my education to be a teacher. She eventually met someone at the gym and he’s RICH, like I can’t even comprehend the kind of money this guy has.

Fast forward to now, they’re married, with two kids and I believe she signed a prenup when they married.

We were out to dinner on the Saturday that just passed with two other friends from college, and she wanted to go to a very expensive place. Her treat. She does this a lot. Flaunts her money, clothes, trips, etc. I always try to smile and ignore it but it was been slowly bothering me.

The dinner was going fine until one of our friends ‘Amanda’ asked ‘Jill’ what she was planning for her birthday. ‘Jill’ said she and her husband are going to Greece for 3 weeks. ‘Amanda’ and ‘Sharon’ both made comments about how nice and lovely that is and I kind of scoffed at it.

When ‘Jill’ asked me what was wrong… I admittedly lost it.

I told her I’m tired of her faulting her money at everyone all the time and everyone knows she only married her husband for money. It got really quiet for a couple of seconds and to my surprise ‘Jill’ very calmly asked if that’s what everyone really thought. I said yes. ‘Jill’ then asked if it was at all possible that she initially went out with him for his money but fell in love with him along the way.

Both our other friends said ‘of course’ at the same time I said ‘no’. I told her she fell in love with what he could provide for her.

She then asked me if I love what my partner provides for me, which I was was different because I never started going out with him for those things.

She countered that with ‘Of course you did, if you were just attracted to him but he wasn’t loving, providing, caring, you wouldn’t still be in a relationship with him and if you were it would be an unhappy and unhealthy one’. I argued it’s still not the same thing.

She then stood up and said she had other places to be and not to worry about the bill.

She left and the three of us finished our meal in silence. When the server came around, he handed me the bill FOR MY MEAL ONLY. She paid for herself and the other two but left me to pay for an almost $50 meal that I really couldn’t afford.

I texted her and called her a jerk, she replied saying not to message her again until I apologize for my earlier comments.

I admit I might have been too hard but I don’t think I’m wrong. So AITJ?”

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LilVicky 4 months ago (Edited)
You are absolutely the jerk. Of course she could have dated him at first for his money & she absolutely could have fallen in love with him afterwards. It’s not for you to say or to judge her. YTJ
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