People Want To Hear From Us About Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

It feels fantastic when many people want to be friends with you because they heard so many nice things about you, but, on the other hand, it feels dreadful when no one approaches you because you already have a negative reputation. Worst-case scenario: they base their negative perceptions of you only on gossip, which, most of the time, is completely untrue. Here are some examples of people defending themselves against those who accuse them of being jerks. As you read on, tell us who you believe is the true jerk. AITJ = Am I the jerk? NTJ = Not the jerk WIBTJ = Would I be the jerk? YTJ = You're the jerk

36. AITJ For Enrolling My Daughter In A Private School?

“I (f 28) had my daughter (f 9) when I was quite young.

Her father (m 33) bailed and I didn’t have any family to support me so the first few years were tough. I ended up taking an extra two years to graduate college and I had to put my career goals/ambitions on hold.

Now, I don’t regret any of this and I love my daughter, but I wasn’t able to give her the life I wanted her to have in the first few years.

Through some miracle or luck, I was able to get her into an amazing private school in our city with almost full coverage of financial aid.

While there were some out-of-pocket costs + school care costs, I wanted to set my daughter up for success and saw this as a way to do so. She has been at this school her whole school life and absolutely loves it.

Last year, her father moved to the city we live in and reached out. He said he wanted to be a part of her life and didn’t want to miss out on any more moments. We initially tried to handle things together without the courts, but he was unhappy about the slow progress and decided to take me to court for visitation.

He asked for 50/50 custody and was awarded it, but now has to pay child support including school tuition which has led to this issue. He initially agreed to pay for private education in court.

Because her father makes a great salary, our financial aid is no longer eligible and is now only a fraction of what we previously had.

This was taken into consideration during our custody case and her father now has to pay 70% of the yearly tuition, based on our income ratio and other factors.

This worked out for a while until last month when he reached out and brought up enrolling her into the public school system.

I asked why and he told me that since we were both parents we both get a say in making decisions for her. He claims that since I made the decision to enroll her before he was around, now that he was involved it should be re-evaluated together ‘parent to parent’.

I told him that with all the changes she’s experienced this past year, keeping this one constant in her life is only beneficial and supported by her therapist and other support systems. I told him if he was unhappy with the arrangement, he could take it up with the courts but I wasn’t going to do it ‘parent to parent’.

He called me difficult but when I asked if it was for financial reasons, he said no and it was about making decisions together. He chose to not pursue it in court but when she got back from her father’s last week, she was on the verge of tears and asked me if she would have to move schools.

AITJ for sending my daughter to a private school even though her father doesn’t want me to?”

3 points - Liked by shgo, LilVicky and LadyTauriel
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Squidmom 4 months ago
Who the jerk gave him 50/50 custody when he's never been around?
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35. AITJ For Telling My Friend's Partner That I Plan To Tell Her That He's Flirting With Me?

“I’m a woman on a recreational sports team with men and women.

This guy on the team, Ben, is in a relationship with the team vice president, Fiona.

I’m friends with Fiona and a lot of the other girls on the team.

A few days ago, Jess, Megan, and Lily were hanging out at mine and Jess said she had an awkward experience where she felt like Ben was hitting on her despite being with Fiona but she wasn’t certain and didn’t want to say something to Fiona unless she was sure.

Then Lily said he was hitting on her too, she wasn’t imagining things! We then texted a lot of other girls on the team and in our social circle and found out he’d hit on 4 others when he was with Fiona.

They were all feeling uncomfortable and kinda ashamed and had brushed him off but not said anything.

We decided we had to tell Fiona, and planned to meet up in person the coming weekend to try and deliver the news delicately and be there for her.

But last night, I was at the after-practice hangout, went outside for a smoke, and Ben came out and started putting the moves on me. I was kinda faded and I said ‘Ya know, girls talk…’ And he was like ‘What?’ And I went ‘So we all know you’re putting the moves on half the team, Jess, Lily, Cam, Diane, Becca…Now me too?

You gotta know we’ve gotta talk to Fiona about this’.

He started getting annoyed and saying nothing ever happened and I was like ‘No thanks to you, that’s just cuz my friends are too cool to mess around with their teammate’s significant other’.

He got really angry at me so I went back into the house where everyone else was hanging out including Fiona because I knew he wouldn’t continue the conversation inside.

But today, I’m not sure what happened, he and she broke up.

And he blew up at me in a text saying I was a jerk, he blamed me, and that I was catty and jealous and everything.

I asked the other girls and apparently Ben had tried to get out ahead of the conversation by talking to Fiona first and telling her some half-truths about what he was up to, but even those admissions made her want to leave him.

He apparently told her that me and the other girls were going to tell her ‘lies’ this weekend but she saw through that and told us that she figured we were going to tell her he was trying to two-time, which we all confirmed…

She was really upset but also grateful that we didn’t just hide it.

Anyway, Ben seems to be blaming me alone and is spreading it among the guys that I’m a total gossip and a jerk, and that he was friendly to me once and complicated my outfit and I ruined his relationship.

And I feel so frustrated because that’s a total lie. I snapped at him and told him that he must just be mad now that every girl on the team has talked about him and wants nothing to do with him.

He got mad and blamed me for turning the team against him.

AITJ for how I handled it with Ben?”

2 points - Liked by LilVicky and LadyTauriel
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Catherine 4 months ago
No way are you a jerk at all. Ben is a pig and got just what her deserved.
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34. AITJ For Telling My Pregnant Cousin To Get Out Of My Baby's Funeral?

“I (26F) and my cousin, let’s call her Emily (28F), have always been very close.

During our childhood we were inseparable. But then she got married, and we stopped being so close. I was not invited to the wedding, bachelorette party, or any other birthday or anything. My husband and I have also been struggling with being able to conceive.

But when we finally got pregnant, I was over the moon. My cousin and I reconnected during this period but didn’t see each other much.

When my baby, Stella, was two months old, she passed away from sudden infant death syndrome.

I went into a horrible depression and couldn’t get out of bed for weeks. My husband stood by my side the whole time. He would make me soup, bring me magazines I really like, and would clean and cook around the house.

However, I got no comforting messages from Emily or her family. I was a bit hurt but brushed it off because I wasn’t most worried about her not reaching out to tell me she was sorry my baby passed away.

We had a funeral a couple of weeks later.

When my cousin showed up at the funeral, she told me she was so sorry for my loss and she gave me a hug. I noticed she was holding her hand under her stomach and her stomach had gotten a little bigger since I last saw her.

She saw me looking at my stomach so she said, ‘Surprise! I’m pregnant!’ I didn’t know what to think about this, so I just stared blankly at her for a second before walking ahead.

The whole funeral, all I did was cry.

It hurt to look anywhere besides my lap because when I did, the only pictures I had taken of my poor baby were shoved in my face. When I finally calmed down, Emily came over to me. I thought she was gonna say something comforting, or tell me it was gonna be alright like everyone else, but instead, she put her hand on her stomach and popped it out a little.

She said something along the lines of, ‘It breaks my heart to think that the same thing could happen to my little angel. I can’t imagine what you are going through. Anthony and I are so blessed to have a healthy baby so far,’ bla bla bla.

I was shocked. I started off by telling her my baby didn’t die because it was unhealthy. It died from a sickness we couldn’t control. And second, she could get out.

It took a few minutes but she left in the end.

I’m getting both angry and supportive messages from the family. My husband, FIL, MIL, dad, and friends are on my side, but my mother, aunts, and whole family told me I overreacted and that it was wrong for me to kick her out of my baby’s funeral.”

2 points - Liked by LilVicky and LadyTauriel
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rbleah 4 months ago
Seems she only came to GLOAT. She should NEVER HAVE COME AT ALL if THAT what she planned. Tell mom to shove off and don't talk to you ever again if she can't understand. She can go support cousin and she is losing her daughter. sorry for your loss.
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33. AITJ For Not Watching The Puppy?

“I (19F) moved in with my sister (28F) and my sister’s fiancé (27M). We had one cat and one dog. The cat is mine and the dog is theirs. I work from home while they don’t so when they aren’t home I let their dog out and stuff.

Their dog is getting pretty old and they were worried about keeping her active. So they decided to get a puppy. They asked me what I thought and I said no. The problem is that they get up for work at around 1 a.m., go to the gym, go home, take a shower, and then go to work and they don’t get home until 2 p.m. Then they go to bed at 6:30-7 p.m. every day.

I told them no because it would end up with me having to watch the puppy and take her out every morning while they were at work. I’m not a morning person I’d rather stay up late and sleep in super late.

So that’s why I told them no that I don’t like the idea because it would end up with me looking after her. They got the puppy anyway.

This was about 3 weeks ago. Flash forward to now my sister is throwing a fit because I haven’t been watching her in the mornings and she’s mad at me for staying up late and sleeping all day.

I told her that it’s my life and if I want to stay up it’s up to me. Well, she got mad at me and stormed out. Now she just sent me a text saying ‘Josh’s going to third shift thanks to you’.

I don’t understand how this is my fault. I told them this would happen and she assured me I wouldn’t have to watch her and they would get a doggy door to train her with. There is no doggy door in sight and here the dog is at 6:17 in the morning chewing on my hair and I can’t sleep.

So AITJ?”

2 points - Liked by LilVicky and LadyTauriel
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ryfr 4 months ago
Ntj.their silliness is going to end up driving a wedge in your relationship.
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32. AITJ For Not Wanting To Invite My Dad To My Wedding?

“My (29M) parents (61M and 54F) had a pretty rocky relationship the past few years, especially during the global crisis. Their relationship was already strained before then, and having to all be isolated together really just did them in.

They didn’t talk to each other since they would only argue if they did, and they tried to avoid each other even in their own house. The second that my mom’s work let people back into the office, she was out the door as fast as possible since my dad worked from home.

This was around the time my dad started yet another affair. He even actually called this woman his partner which he typically didn’t do in the past. She’s in her mid-thirties and they met when he was golfing apparently.

He was always open to me about any relationships that he was having and threatened to kick me and cut me off if I told my mom about them so I just kept my mouth shut. He brought this woman around the house a lot whenever my mom was at work and she would even stay over when she was gone on work trips.

She ended up getting pregnant, and I didn’t even know until she was like 7 months along and very obviously showing since no one told me and I started going out with someone so I wasn’t at the house as often.

In fact, the moment I found out, I came home to pick up some more clothes to take to my friend’s, and she was in the kitchen just minding her business.

This happened to be the exact same time my mom came home from a work trip early and also saw my dad’s pregnant partner for the first time.

She absolutely lost it. My dad tried to place the blame on me, saying she was my significant other and I was the one who knocked her up which wasn’t true. My mom even knew who my SO was since I sent her photos and they saw each other over FaceTime.

I decided then it was time to move out on my own and I didn’t want anything to do with my dad. My mom and I still talk, I apologized for not telling her everything, but she said she understood and she knew a lot more than my dad thought.

Now my dad keeps trying to reach out to me. He and my mom are still not officially divorced, but he moved in with his partner and they have a six-month-old son. He wants me to have a relationship with them but I just can’t bring myself to even talk to him.

My SO and I got engaged last week and he’s been trying to reach out again to congratulate us. He asked about wedding details and even tried to reach out to my mom or fiancée to see what he could get out of them, but truthfully I don’t want him there.

So, AITJ?”

2 points - Liked by LilVicky and LadyTauriel
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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ... however you need to man up and answer his calls and tell him you want nothing to do with him OR partner or the kid and that he will not be invited to the wedding when it does happen... youneed to tell him exactly how his behaviour affected you when he was expecting you to LIE to mom and cover for him. Tell him that as such you expect better from a parent. You may want to tell both mom and your fiancee what you have told him and that you want them both to stay put of it and that you do notwish for them to tell dad anything about the wedding either
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31. AITJ For Kicking My Partner And His Friend Out Of The Car In The Middle Of Nowhere?

“My partner (27M) and I (26F) decided to go on a road trip like we do every year. This year he said he didn’t want to ‘ruin’ his new car and suggested we go in my car. He also requested to do the driving but I told him it was my car and that I should drive it, he tried to make comments about how my driving was slow and inconsistent but eventually dropped it and we went.

He brought his buddy with him and they both sat in the back. Once we got on the road, My partner started making comments about my driving while asking me to let him drive instead. I ignored him and kept driving but then he and his friend kept saying things like ‘OP you’re driving like a giiiirl – wait you are a girl!’ then they started to laugh and then said ‘Your driving is as bad as our old neighbor’.

Again I ignored them but – they went again with ‘Seriously, who taught you to drive like that?’ and ‘Hope the cops pull us over and end this misery’. I couldn’t take it anymore and I began to lose my temper.

So I told them to stop and that if either of them makes one more comment, ONE comment about my driving then I’d kick them out.

My partner glanced at me then things got quiet for about 5 minutes then he finally mumbled ‘Alright I think we should call 911 because your driving is causing me brain damage’.

I snapped, I immediately stopped the car and told him I had enough and that he had to get out. He tried to argue saying I was overreacting and he was just trying to ‘teach’ me to drive better but I told him to get out!

His friend came at me defending him but I told him to get out too. My partner then said I was nuts because we were in the middle of nowhere but there was a gas station nearby. I told them both to get out and put their bags on the side of the road then drove off.

I went home instead of continuing the trip and I cried all the way til I got there.

Later I had an argument with my partner upon his return and he told me it was cruel of me to kick him and his friend out and ruin the trip over a few comments they made with good intentions.

I told him that he mocked my driving the entire time and called it horrible and in response, he said he was just being honest with me and that this was all my fault for refusing to let him drive in the first place.

Now we’re not even talking and he keeps huffing and puffing around me for doing this to him and his friend.”

1 points - Liked by LilVicky
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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. but you seriously need to kick him out of more than just your car... if he was that bothered about your dribbling he should have taken his car.. ohwait he didn't want the trip to put wear and tear on HIS car but was ok qoth it happenomg to your car... then he takes his friend along too and they BOTH sit in the back and slate your driving and then act all hurt cos you actually stood up for yourself and kicked them BOTH out the car. Just why are you with tis guy you deserve better
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30. AITJ For Filing A Suit Against My Ex For Not Paying Child Support?

“My ex and I had a baby and 3 months later we broke up. Our daughter is 2 now.

A year ago I sued him for child support and won. He had to pay me a large sum for all the 8 months that he wasn’t present in her life plus my lawyer’s fees.

Ever since I’ve constantly reminded him to pay me each month but he doesn’t do it or only pays me for only a month even though it’s been 5-6 months. He claims he’s poor, but he is living in the most expensive part of the city with his partner, drives an expensive car, and overall isn’t broke.

We weren’t on good terms but recently we became friends. I let him see our daughter a lot more than the court has ordered and try to involve him in her life as much as I can. Paid maternity leave is 2 years in my country and though the money isn’t much, I have a lot of savings and overall we live a decent life.

But my paid leave is over and therefore I get no money. I rely on this support until I find a well-paid job.

Recently my daughter had a pretty expensive surgery and he didn’t even offer to pay for at least half of it.

He came to the hospital with me and then went MIA for a week. He didn’t even call to ask if she was okay. I was even more upset when I found out he went on vacation instead of being there for his daughter.

He called me after a week lying he had a concussion and that’s why he hasn’t called. He offered to come with us for her follow-up appointment but he didn’t show. Since he hasn’t paid child support for 6 months after I told him many times I need the money for our child and I can’t do this alone, I filed a suit.

Now his accounts are frozen and has to pay legal fees and if he can’t pay, he might go to jail (that’s the law here).

I feel like a jerk cause he thought we were friends and now I’m suing him out of the blue.

But I’m tired of feeling like a beggar who has to constantly plead for money he owes not me, but his child. So AITJ?”

1 points - Liked by LadyTauriel
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rbleah 4 months ago
NTJ I think he believed if he could make you think you were FRIENDS that you would give up on TAKING HIS MONEY. Nail him for this, this is what he deserves for NOT taking responsibility for HIS CHILD. Cause he CAUSED half of the pregnancy. You caused the other half of course. BUT you stepped up and became A MOM. He has NOT STEPPED UP and is paying the price for HIS STUPIDITY.
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29. AITJ For Not Wanting To Give My Uncle Anything From My Inheritance?

“My (M 17) mom had me when she was young. My grandparents were strictly religious and disowned her soon after I was born. The family cut contact with her save for a few relatives.

My mom struggled a lot in her life. She worked a lot and saved funds for me to go to medical school which has been my dream since I was 11. No one helped, and I remember when mom got sick and we were about to be homeless, her brother (my uncle), Frank (M 37), refused to take us in saying his wife was sick and there was no room for us.

Her friend took us in then Mom got back on her feet.

She unfortunately passed away 6 months ago. Her best friend is trusted with my inheritance but some days ago, she told me she received a call from Frank asking about the money.

He told her his wife’s dealing with medical issues and he asked if I could help pay for her surgery. My mom’s friend told me this and had Frank visit me. I told him I didn’t feel comfortable taking from my college fund after my mom worked hard for me to be able to have a future.

He complained to me about his financial situation, reminded me of how he never approved of what his parents did to Mom, and went on about how close she and him were.

I apologized and politely said no. He started begging saying he already tried every option out there and all he needed now was some financial help or a loan from me and he’d pay me back shortly.

I refused again and he began having a breakdown crying about wanting to help his wife but feeling helpless, then told me to think about what mom would want me to do. This honestly was enough to get me to go into my room because of how uncomfortable he made me.

He left but took my number from my friend at school and started calling me about this issue and pressing me saying I have the ability to help ‘my aunt’ but am choosing not to and refusing to help. He even had some of my relatives visit to talk about it.

I feel a mix of guilt and frustration right now. My mom’s friend says it’s up to me whether I want to help family.

Am I the jerk for refusing to give him anything from my inheritance?”

1 points - Liked by LadyTauriel
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sumsmum 4 months ago
NTA. Do not let this man have anything from your mom. He offered no support in spite of his claim that he never approved of his parents' actions. He could have helped her, but it fell to a friend to pick up the pieces.
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28. AITJ For Breaking Off My Engagement?

“In April my fiancé proposed to me after receiving the blessing from my 16-year-old son and his 16-year-old daughter. Together we all chose next year in June to be married. The two kids were to be our maid of honor and best man and they were ecstatic.

We set the date, secured deposits to multiple vendors, sent out save-the-date cards because it’s a destination wedding, and everything was done and paid for.

The plan was that we’d reside in my home as my son solely has me to attend his school for junior and senior years, whereas his daughter’s mom lives around the corner from his house with her husband so she could still attend the school she grew up in.

To secure that we decided we’d just keep his home as a rental for the family just in case her mom chose to move. We agreed it was important for her to graduate at her school and my home is only 15 minutes away, just in another school district.

I spent the summer emptying out my spare room leaving it empty for her to make it her room with whatever she wanted… new bedroom set whatever.

Currently, his daughter comes home maybe 2-3 nights a week to be at his house.

At almost 17 he really gives her the choice of where she wants to be and many times she will just choose to stay with mom.

My son doesn’t have those choices as I am his sole parent and residence.

We are now just under 10 months until the wedding and his daughter has decided that she will not stay at my house and wants to keep his house as her home until she graduates. When asked how we were to get married in June if she stayed in the house for a whole additional year her response was Dad can live with you but I am staying here til I graduate.

She told Dad he was not permitted to move her, sell the house, or rent it out. It’s her house and she’s staying there.

So now my fiance has said that because she has decided this we should postpone the wedding until after she graduates.

My son is now feeling like we are not important and that she is ruining what could be our family. I am feeling like our relationship for almost 4 years and the plans we had established with everyone involved are being thrown away for a teenager’s whim and declaration, who doesn’t actively ever want to stay at his house but now all of a sudden is declaring this.

The plans and promises made amongst all are now just tossed away because she decided this and no further discussion is to take place.

My fiancé said my son and I could move into his house but since I have my son 24/7 and no ex-parent to help it becomes a major strain as this is his sole primary residence.

Whereas his daughter has a primary residence with her mom and comes to his house just 2-3 nights a week. The alternative was to postpone the wedding.

I cannot move my son to his house for his daughter of 2-3 nights a week depending on her mood and to postpone the wedding after all the agreed plans and now last minute change because of what she has now decided doesn’t feel right in my gut.

So AITJ for breaking off our engagement and not getting married?”

1 points - Liked by Spaldingmonn
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Botz 4 months ago (Edited)
Just how many years are you willing to be strung along for HIS brat of a kid?
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27. AITJ For Snapping At My Mother-In-Law For Accusing Me Of Having An Affair?

“I (29f) have 1 baby girl (3f) and am pregnant and recently found out I am having another girl. My husband (33m) is the oldest of 6 siblings and he and his brothers are the product of my MIL (58f) trying to have a girl after her oldest miscarried.

When I gave birth to my daughter MIL often made remarks such as:

‘She looks just like your friend X’.

‘She has different lips than both of you’.

‘Sometimes when I look at her I can’t see you or your husband’.

I let it slide so many times not a word because I didn’t want to cause drama in my husband’s family. But when we announced the gender of our next baby at our mother-in-law’s house she started screaming and crying about how I’m a liar and that is definitely not my husband’s baby.

She said that she always had a suspicion that my husband didn’t father that illegitimate child but she just assumed it was deep-rooted family genetics but she won’t let my husband be fooled again.

My husband told her to knock it off but she came over and just picked up my daughter and said this thing here, this does not look like you, that’s not my granddaughter, I don’t know what man fathered that child but it’s not you.

I sat down sobbing at this point. I just got up and said, ‘It’s not my fault you couldn’t be a mother of a daughter. It’s not my fault that you’re upset that your one and only precious daughter died and you had 6 sons you did not want in your hopeless dream to have a daughter but you are not to take it out on me.

I’ve never had an affair. I’m 100% loyal to your son. I wouldn’t have gotten married if I didn’t love him and if you keep asking I will keep both of your granddaughters away from you’.

She kicked me out after that and my husband said we should go low contact with her or no contact if it gets worse but he said I was maybe a bit harsh on her and it’s left a bad taste in my mouth.

So AITJ?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
NTJ And you SHOULD GO NO CONTACT. SHE is THE BIGGEST JERK. She is SO JEALOUS she can't see past it. She will cause MORE MISERY if you let her back in. She can't accept YOUR DAUGHTERS and has GIVEN UP THE RIGHT TO BE GRANDMA.
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26. WIBTJ If I Don't Want Anything To Do With My Mother-In-Law's Stuff?

” “My (30f) MIL never listens and treats me like a child. I am sick of asking her to not ‘help’ me with housework amongst other things. She seems to think that she knows best and that all she is doing is helping.

I was more embarrassed than anything else when she first started treating my home like her own because I did need help as my kids were very young. It was frustrating not knowing where she put my things and finding stuff I didn’t intend to throw away in the bin.

But I said nothing as I didn’t want to seem ungrateful.

As the kids got older, I tried to tell her that the best help she could give was to spend time with the grandchildren. I told her that that way the kids get to have fun with her and I can concentrate on housework in peace.

This worked to an extent as my husband (32m) would back me up whenever MIL visited.

And then my husband and I went on a short holiday. MIL loves watching the kids, so she offered to take them while we’re away.

MIL asked for the house key in case they need to go to the toilet as this was during school term and our house is very close to the eldest child’s school. I wasn’t too keen but gave her my key.

Big mistake.

When we got back, all the clothes I had in my washing basket were gone. MIL has raided my house for any and all clothes she could ‘help’ me wash. She even took a full bag of old clothes I was going to throw away thinking that I needed them washed. This included my old undergarments with holes everywhere.

She also found my bag of ‘fancy nightwear’, but decided to leave that by the looks of it. I was so embarrassed and furious. The ironic thing is, she wouldn’t DARE to do this to her own daughter.

Like I said earlier, telling her to stop doesn’t work no matter how many times I try.

I wish I didn’t have to rely on her for occasional babysitting which makes this very difficult as I don’t want her to think that I don’t appreciate her time. But I am very fed up. Honestly, I’d rather just stay with the kids all the time and not go anywhere without them, but my husband wouldn’t be happy about that.

So I thought, maybe actions can speak louder than words in this situation. I want to gather up all the kids’ clothes and shoes she’s randomly left with us (she has a ridiculous amount of kids’ clothes at home) and take them to her and politely decline anything she tries to give me from now on.

WIBTJ if I did that? I know she tries to help, but I’m so tired of being treated like a child with no privacy, and speaking to my MIL doesn’t work.

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Botz 4 months ago
Your a fool for keeping quiet.
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25. AITJ For Bringing My Own Food To My Brother's Wedding?

“My (21F) brother (26M) got married last weekend. He and my new SIL (26F) had known each other for a few years now, and naturally, I was invited to the wedding.

She had been vegan since she was 12 and had also converted my brother in recent years, so they decided to make the wedding vegan.

Basically, this meant that all the catering was vegan food, even the drinks, and they used petals from their garden instead of plastic confetti and things like that to make the wedding as eco-friendly as possible.

I have no problem with any of this and think it’s great.

Anyway, the problem is this. The issue I often have with eating anywhere is that I have multiple allergies: peanuts, Soy, sesame, and a mild shellfish allergy as well.

The first 3 I named are very serious and have landed me in the hospital in the past because of cross-contamination, so I’m really wary. I talked to my brother about whether there would be anything safe for me to eat at the event, but because they’re using a local neighborhood lady’s business as the catering service instead of something professional I did not feel comfortable enough that there was absolutely zero chance of me having a reaction, especially because the allergens were ingredients in many of the dishes.

It felt too risky, so I said I’d bring my own food and he agreed that was the best option. I’ve done this with plenty of such events in the past and it’s never been a problem.

The wedding day arrives and it comes time to eat.

Everyone is digging into the food, and I pull out my Tupperware quite happily and dig in when I see the bride staring at me with horror on her face. I had bought a homemade sort of salad box which had 2 eggs on top and she literally just stared at me in disgust the entire time we ate without saying anything.

After the meal was finished, she pulled me to the side and said I ‘ruined her meal and her appetite’ and ‘ruined her day’ and that I’m clearly ‘a selfish person because I can’t even go one meal without animal secretions at a vegan wedding’ and that it was seriously disrespectful because the fact it was a vegan wedding was the main focus.

In my eyes, I brought my own food because they weren’t able to provide me with something which was safe to eat, and it’s not like I brought a steak. I had 2 eggs in a big salad and she must have been specifically staring at my food to even realize they were there.

However, I’m beginning to wonder if I’m the jerk because my brother also said it was in poor taste and I should have brought something else. So what are your thoughts, AITJ?”

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Botz 4 months ago
Next meal, bring a steak and make it rare.
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24. AITJ For Using Someone Else's Picture?

“I received a message (On WhatsApp) from a person who’s not in my contact list, so I don’t know her.

I thought she might’ve gotten the wrong number since the message was something document/work-related and I had let her know that she got the wrong number. Normally it would’ve left like that right?

She introduced herself and asked for my name, now I’m not very comfortable sharing my name with anyone, my online friends don’t even know my real name, I always go by ‘D’ so I told her she could call me by that.

Then we started friendly chatting and she asked me if I was single or not and that I was handsome, now, I realized she must’ve taken an interest in me… because of my profile picture.

I’m a girl, and the picture that I used on my WhatsApp is a K-pop male idol in his casual outfit and it’s understandable she didn’t notice.

So I broke it to her and she became upset because I ‘catfished’ her and that I was messing with her. I told her I didn’t and that she was the one who started this conversation, not me, and I’m sorry if she thought that I was trolling her.

She asked me why I didn’t tell her in the first place, and I told her I didn’t think it would lead to this, and I personally think there are people in this world that set a profile picture that isn’t them (Ex: a significant other or a picture of their loved ones), and plus what, if a girl (Or someone in general) says hi then I would, out of nowhere, tell her that ‘Oh hey, just in case you might think that I’m the one who’s in the profile picture, sorry to burst your bubbles but no, that’s a picture of my favorite idol’.

She didn’t reply. And I left it at that.

Was she in the wrong? I don’t think so, I felt bad for her and it must’ve been embarrassing for her. Am I in the wrong? I don’t know, that’s why I’m here.

Maybe I should’ve told her in the first place.

AITJ?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
There are MANY PEOPLE who do NOT use a picture of themselves. For just this reason. I am NOT a very trusting soul and do not want my pic out there, never did. This is NOT on you. She made an assumption and was wrong. This is on her. No need for YOU to feel guilty about it.
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23. AITJ For Not Getting My Ex's Stepdaughter Anything For Her Graduation?

“My ex and I have a daughter together. He’s been remarried for years and has a stepdaughter. Things are not close between us all. Ex’s wife and I had a lot of beef early on and we have both held stuff against each other.

For my part, it was her constant attempts to get me to give them custody of my daughter so ‘she could have a real family’ with them as well as her attempts to take my daughter for more than a month to visit her parents in another country every summer (and saying it should be time they don’t have to make up since she’d be with her family).

For her, it was my refusal to use her as an emergency contact when it was my custody time, and instead, if I was at work and my daughter needed to come home, I sent her to my parents’ house who were on the approved pickup list as well.

It was also the fact I refused to consider her an equal parent when it came to discussing things and I would only make contact with my ex.

My daughter doesn’t really get along with her stepsister and was upset to learn her dad wanted her to share a graduation party with her stepsister.

My ex told me he would not show up if we did a separate party since it would be far easier and make a lot of sense to do a joint one. My daughter wanted her dad there so we did that.

I didn’t buy anything for his stepdaughter though. I was there for my daughter, not for the other girl, but things went down over this. Ex, his wife, and some of his family have said I’m a jerk. His stepdaughter was upset too because she is aware that I was able to afford nice things for my daughter over the years that she never got from her mom or stepdad.

AITJ?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
EX's stepdaughter is NOT YOUR CIRCUS, NOT YOUR MONKEY. You have NO connection to her AT ALL. If her mom and SD can't afford what YOU GIVE YOUR DAUGHTER that is ON THEM, NOT YOU. YOU ARE NOT THE JERK. Bad enough EX basically forced you into a double grad party but then the girl EPECTING YOU TO GIVE HER A GIFT? NO, JUST NO.
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22. AITJ For Having A Fight With My Husband When He Didn't Get His Daughter A Birthday Present?

“3 years ago we found out that my husband had a 13-year-old (she’s 16 now) from an old partner before we met. We found out about Emma because her mother contacted us to tell us that she doesn’t want Emma anymore and that if we don’t take her in she will be in the system.

I didn’t want that and I was willing to take her in but my husband didn’t want her either (it was hard to convince him folks) but we did take her in.

Well, when she first got here she looked miserable and underweight.

I didn’t know what her mother was feeding her but I know it wasn’t good and let’s say everyone was nervous even the boys (they are now 12, 10 and 9) who do love meeting new people didn’t know how to feel but it’s all good now they do love her a lot like a big sister and I adore her a lot like she’s my own.

She’s smart, kind, enjoys cooking, drawing, the guitar, and most of all she’s happy now but after 3 years she is still awkward around her daddy.

Don’t get me wrong, her daddy is an amazing man who loves his boys, he still thinks we are on our honeymoon but he still walks on eggshells around Emma and like he never asked her about her school or hobbies not even her best friend but he will always ask our boys.

I have to do the asking with her. He doesn’t want alone time with his daughter and he always says that she is too young to hang out with him. Unbelievable. She’s almost 16, for Pete’s sake, but he loves playing with his boys alone.

I tried talking to him about it but he always says ‘We just need time’ or ‘Time fixes everything’. 3 years and we are still waiting on time.

Well, the problem was yesterday before we headed to bed I asked him if he got Emma’s birthday present yet (it’s 2 days from now and I got her a drawing tablet she wanted).

He said that I’m getting her something, her grandparents will get her something, her uncles, aunts and it’s a waste of money (we’re really well off so money ain’t a problem).

And then I argued about why he doesn’t love her as much as his boys, I can’t believe it he said ‘She is just a stranger to him’ and I was furious.

I said some not nice things to him like he was a biased man and a bad father, he said that was a really mean thing to say and we slept not facing each other, first time in 6 years.

When it was morning we acted like usual but he said to me before he left for work that he would get her something nice.

But folks I do feel bad for saying that he was a bad father. I know he isn’t but he is biased towards his boys and I don’t want to do the wrong thing here.

Should I apologize to my husband or put the thing behind me?

AITJ?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ... do n0t apologise to him he IS being a bad father for gods sake... not to your boys butto a girl who was dumped on a stranger cos her mother didn't want her anymore..... she will continue to be a stranger if he doesn't take the time to get to know her and spend time with her...jeez is your hubby really that stupid??? That young girl got dumped on you all.. not just him you amd your kids too and YOU made the effort to get to know her your boys have toon yet the 1 person who SHOULD make time for her is basically,y counting down the days until she is out of his house!!!
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21. AITJ For Not Wanting My Sister To Exclude Our Other Sister From Her Wedding?

“I (27F) have 2 sisters, Lily (35F) and Rose (33F).

Rose and her husband were in an accident 5 years ago in which BIL lost his life and she had broken bones and bruises, but not life-threatening. Rose is absolutely gorgeous – like, supermodel level – but the accident left some scarring on the side of her face.

She’s beautiful regardless, but coupled with the aftermath of the accident, and losing her husband, she’s had self-esteem issues as well as severe depression and anxiety. I’ve tried my best to be as supportive as possible to her and she’s doing better, learning to be optimistic and resilient.

Lily is engaged to Basil (39M), who has a son from a previous marriage. Basil and his family are insisting that Rose not be invited to the wedding because apparently Rose’s scarring scares his son and will scare other kids there.

(Rose told me before she was happy about Lily’s engagement and is looking forward to attending their wedding by the way). I told Lily it was ridiculous to exclude Rose because 1. her scars aren’t even super visible and 2. even if they were, who cares?

Rose has been through a lot and the least she deserves is some empathy from her own family. Lily said I’m trying to police her actions and it’s between her and her fiance who’s invited to the wedding.

She also added she doesn’t want Rose there because Rose will find a way to ‘upstage’ her.

I mockingly apologized to Lily for ‘trying to police her actions’ and called her a jealous jerk. Lily said I’m out of line and she’s not obligated to ‘cater to our demands’. My mom called me up later and said Lily had told her about our argument, and while she doesn’t want Rose excluded either, it’s Lily and Basil’s wedding so their choice and I should try and be more understanding of their hesitance instead of going off at her.

So, was I the jerk?”

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Catherine 4 months ago
I'd not go to the wedding and tell Lily that from now on I only have one sister and it ain't you. Then I would go no contact.
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20. AITJ For Being Mad At My Partner For Not Paying Attention To Our Daughter?

“I (21) have been with my partner (23) for 3 1/2 years now and we have a beautiful 9-month-old daughter who we both love so much.

My partner works from 6-3, 5 days a week at a job that requires a lot of physical work whereas I’m a stay-at-home mom.

Since she was born my partner had trouble bonding with her and doing the little things for her like changing her diaper, her clothes, holding her, etc. (He had never met a baby til our daughter) I do want to note however that he tries his best to connect with her and make her happy.

Our daughter is at that age where new emotions are coming in and she’s teething so she wants a lot of attention. I try my best to comfort her as best as I can while still trying to keep my house in order but lately, it’s been difficult.

Our daughter barely sleeps through the night but wants to be awake all day.

Today when my partner came home from work he said hello to my daughter and me from the door, walked straight past us, and laid down on the couch to sleep.

I understood he was probably tired so I let him rest but my own exhaustion grew as well. When he woke up I told him since he’s awake I’m gonna take a quick nap but I couldn’t sleep because our daughter was crying every 5 minutes.

I went out to see that he was letting her cry on the floor while he played his game and occasionally talked to her.

I got extremely upset and rang my MIL to see if she would be able to watch her for the night while I sorted out some ‘house problems.’ She agreed.

Once she picked up our daughter I started going off at my partner and he just kept telling me he was tired from work but he couldn’t understand why I was tired and why I had to ring his mother.

I explained that I just needed a little nap because of our daughter’s routine and that she needed attention/cuddles, not to be put on the ground with her father NOT paying attention to her.

He stayed quiet and I went to the room to sleep.

He followed me in and thought that by cuddling and kissing me I would let my frustration go but I ended up yelling at him to get out. He’s still not speaking to me and won’t even sleep inside the house, he’s sleeping in the car.

I feel like maybe yelling at him was a bit much so AITJ?

Edit: This isn’t the first time something like this has happened and I’ve had to ask him nearly daily for help. I’m not the best at communication but I do sit down to talk with him about it before lashing out but in this situation, I jumped the gun and lashed out first.

He doesn’t try to sleep with me by cuddling and kissing he just does it because he knows a love language of mine is physical touch.”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ... he won't ever get used to handling the baby unless he actually does it. Tell him he needs to start being a father or he ca get his jerk back, to mommy's house.. as you may as well be a single parent for all the help he isnt giving you... so he works so what.. you are looking after a child who's teething amd doing the house chores and cooking etc.. on NO sleep cos he's obviously sleeping through daughter being up all night anyway... tell him he needs to grow the heck up if he ex0ects to remain in the house with you and daughter cos ri going home money isn't the on,y way a dad provides for his kids
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19. AITJ For Defending My Brother's Right To Read The Book He Wants?

“My (17f) brother (12) is not an avid bookworm, whilst myself and my mum are. He has a reading lesson once a week in school and for homework.

For that, he has to write a summary of whatever he has read at home during the week.

The past few weeks I’ve been helping him do this. He hates reading and is a slow reader. I’ve been trying to get him to read, but he’ll come into my room at 10 o’clock at night and ask me to help him summarise the 10 pages of a book he didn’t read.

The book is Harry Potter, which I know perfectly well, so I’m happy to do this. However, I let him know that it’s not going to become a habit. I do it a few times a term when he just forgets because sometimes 12-year-old boys just forget.

Anyway, the story. He comes into my room at 10 o’clock tonight and asks me for the first Percy Jackson, which I say I don’t have but he can read Harry Potter instead. This is for the reading lesson he has in school tomorrow.

He says he can’t because the librarian at school told him she’s sick of seeing him read the same book for so long. Now I agree, he’s been reading this book for so long because he doesn’t actually read it at home, just for an hour in school once a week and I give him the summary.

But I find it ridiculous that the librarian thinks she can tell him to just stop reading a book that he wants to read.

He went downstairs to look for Percy Jackson, and my mum was telling him off for it being late at night, not being prepared, etc. She said she agreed with the librarian.

I muttered (to myself) that I didn’t and somehow she heard and it resulted in a shouting match. She even started swearing.

She was saying that the librarian knows he’s not actually reading this book at home and is getting the summaries from me, which I know is true, I just don’t think she can tell him to stop reading a book he wants to read because she’s sick of him reading it.

She can’t dictate his choices.

My mum starts telling me that she doesn’t want me ‘defending the fact that my brother does no work’ and I tell her I’m not, I’m defending his right to read the book.

It ends with me just yelling ‘okay’ to everything she says because it’s late and I’m tired and she’s saying hurtful things to me.

She went down and found my brother another book. But I’m wondering, AITJ for defending my brother’s right to read the book he wants?

My dad agrees with my stance as well.”

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rbleah 4 months ago
Sorry but YES the school CAN determine WHAT BOOK HE NEEDS TO READ. And you are being an enabler about him NOT READING WHAT HE NEEDS TO READ. HE MUST READ AND RENDER what the school is telling him to do. YOU CANNOT ALWAYS DO IT FOR HIM.
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18. AITJ For Refusing To Teach My Roommate How To Clean?

“I (19M) just finished my first year of university. Yesterday I had dinner with some high school friends and we were talking about our college stories when bad roommates came up.

I did random freshman roommate matching and was matched with Phil (18M).

My college matches people by their traits i.e. cleanliness, sleeping hours, etc. I indicated that I’m very clean and would prefer a similar roommate. When I met Phil during orientation I said I’d like to keep our room clean, he said he’s messy but he’d keep it on his side.

A couple of weeks in and that wasn’t the case. Phil’s laundry, crumbs, and other messes were spilling onto my side. He left food and other trash out and our room got flies. Our room smelled. I started asking him to clean, and he’d say ‘in a bit’ or ‘later’ or something about hating cleaning, not knowing how, and needing my help.

I told him that he made the mess and he could clean it up. Three weeks in, I asked again and he told me to stop being a jerk and if it bothered me so much then I could clean it myself.

At that point I had enough, I went and complained to our RA, Tim (20M). Tim saw our room and told me I could request to move. I jumped on that, outside of being unkempt Phil was generally a very inconsiderate roommate.

Tim then warned Phil that he risked being evicted from the dorms (I don’t know if that’s true) or at best paying a huge cleaning fee when moving out. He begged me to help him clean since ‘you lived here too.’ I cheekily told him that being a poor Hispanic dude doesn’t make me better at cleaning, he’s a big boy and can do it himself.

He called me a jerk. I moved out a month after moving in and went on with my life.

One of my friends Alice (18F) also dealt with a crappy roommate who was messy, and rude, would exile her a ton to hook up, and would always disrupt her sleep.

But she never moved out. When I told everyone about Phil she asked why I couldn’t help him learn to clean. I laughed and asked why it was my problem. We had a quick back and forth. She argued it was the nice thing to do.

I said that cleaning a dorm is common sense, it’s just throwing out trash, doing laundry, cleaning spills right after making them, and occasionally vacuuming. I wasn’t interested in setting any precedent of cleaning up after him. She said that maybe he never had to clean growing up and it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t know.

I eventually said that she was free to play mommy but respectfully I wasn’t putting up with that nonsense. She got quiet, we moved on.

Alice was pouty for the rest of the night and later on, a friend texted me and said I should apologize to Alice for being mean to her.

AITJ for how I handled my roommate situation and for how I argued with Alice?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
NTJ You were TOTALLY ON POINT. Just because SHE got a but up her butt is NOT YOU PROBLEM. If she wants to play mommy then that is HER CHOICE. It does NOT have to be YOURS. Good for you by the way. He basically LIED to get into a room. Now the RA saw for themselves what a pig he really is.
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17. AITJ For Canceling My Visit To My Parents?

“I’ve never had a good relationship with my mother. I didn’t even tell my parents I was pregnant till I was 5 months along.

They took it better than I thought and have been extremely supportive despite being 3 hours away. My mom has met my daughter twice for a couple of hours each time. My dad hasn’t met her at all yet due to having issues with his truck and not trusting it to make the trip.

He also refuses to drive my mom’s car to come over. To help them feel included we use a family photo album app that they and other family members have access to in order to see photos and videos whenever they want.

Here’s where the current issue begins.

A couple of weeks ago my boss texted the group chat asking for anyone’s day off requests. I spontaneously asked for a few days off with the intent of taking my daughter to see my parents.

My husband wouldn’t be able to come due to work, so it was just going to be a short weekend trip with me and my baby (she’s 2 1/2 months old at this point.)

At first, my mom was excited about the idea and on board.

Then she came down to visit the week after I’d announced the plan (to bring formula, thanks to formula shortage) and told me that she and my dad had discussed it and they weren’t comfortable with me visiting.

Reasons included somewhat understandable things like worrying about me traveling alone with a small baby.

Then they got a bit more… questionable. ‘It will be hot and your car could overheat.’ Not sure why my well-maintained car would randomly overheat but okay.

Then the real kicker of ‘We don’t feel like we’re missing out on anything because we have the album.

And she won’t remember it anyway.’

That one hit me hard. Remember my dad hasn’t even met her in person yet. But apparently, they aren’t missing anything cause they see a couple of pictures a day and maybe a video every once in a while.

After this, I discussed it with my husband and canceled my plans to visit. Now my mom is giving me grief for deciding not to come despite them being the ones who insisted I not. I do feel bad keeping her from spending time with them, but after what was said I felt hurt and like I was better off staying here with my in-laws who seem to actually value the time spent with her despite spending literally every day with her.

Am I the jerk?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
Tell mom she can't have it both ways. And if dad does not want to put any energy to ACTUALLY see his grandchild IN PERSON then they don't need to be in the chat. You no don't OWE them the pics. Let them get some from other family members. And when those family members ask why? Tell them the truth. mom and dad didn't want you to visit and dad WON'T come to your house. END OF DISCUSSION. When mom brings it up tell her sorry gotta go, busy right now. And HANG UP. Put them in an info time out for a while.
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16. AITJ For Refusing To Drive For 4 Hours With My Toddler To See My Dying Cousin?

“My (40M) mom has always been depressed and anxious. As a kid, I was her emotional dumping ground. I was responsible for her feelings, and if I wasn’t taking care of her or if I tried to exist as my own person in any way, I was told I was selfish.

I grew up thinking that I was terrible, despite trying so hard to be ‘good’. I’ve struggled with boundaries, esp with my mom. Eventually, I got help and my boundaries are a work in progress but I’m trying.

Fast forward to now: My son, Max, will be 2 soon.

He’s an emotional hurricane. He’s HAPPY! He’s SAD! He has ALL the feels and will let you know! He’s very extra in all of the ways. It’s hard, but that’s okay, I’m here for it.

My cousin John is in hospice dying.

Mom is taking it especially hard. John lives 2 hours away.

My mom asked me to bring Max to see John. (John has never met Max) John hadn’t asked to see him, it was mom’s idea to cheer him up.

I said it was a bad idea because:

  1. Max hates long car rides.
  2. Max is VERY shy.
  3. When he is upset, he won’t eat and gets hangry.
  4. He’s very active and John’s house is very small and he can’t leave.

We do things to expand Max’s comfort zone, but this just seems like pushing ALL of his buttons at once. Do I wish John could meet Max? Yes. Also, the likelihood of arriving with a crying toddler who is miserable the whole time is very high.

Max will be stuck in a car for 2 hours, he’ll be upset about it, he’ll need to move his body, he’ll be hungry but he won’t eat because he’s too upset, and then he’ll be meeting new people, and then driving for another 2hrs.

That’s a lot for him.

My mom begged me. As gently as I could, I said no. I know she’s grieving, I know she’s searching for things to control in a situation that seems beyond her control. Also, I’m not going to put Max through that.

She got very mad. She told me I was selfish, she just wanted to cheer John up, and it didn’t matter how Max felt because John was dying and that’s so much worse, and kids are resilient so again, Max’s feelings didn’t matter.

(Again, this wasn’t John’s request, just mom’s idea)

It took me so much to respond with kindness. I said that I saw her grief, but I felt like she was letting it speak for her. I acknowledged how hard John’s situation was on her.

Max is a toddler, yes, but he’s also a real live person and not a tool to be used to cheer someone up (and let’s be honest… does a crying child actually cheer anyone up?) I asked if we could Facetime with John instead.

I concluded by saying that I hoped, given some time, that she could gain some clarity, and that I loved her.

She ignored the Facetime suggestion, said that she would never gain clarity and that she felt sorry for Max that he had me as a dad.

This really crushed me.

Am I being selfish? Am I too obsessed with boundaries to see that I’m being a jerk? The funny thing is that given how I grew up, I can’t even tell!”

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rbleah 4 months ago
YOU ARE NOT A JERK IN ANY WAY. Your mother is a controlling WITCH. Exchange the w for a B. You CANNOT SUBJECT your son to this. They don't know or CARE about the reasons they just want to BE HOME TO EAT AND PLAY AND NAP. You just DON'T DO THAT TO A TWO YEAR OLD. As for your boundaries? Let go of the guilt that mommy dearest keeps laying on YOU. It is NOT DESERVED. It is just so SHE KEEPS CONTROL OVER YOU. Time to go low/no contact for a while. At least until YOU are in a better place with MORE CONTROL over your boundary setting and keeping. DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD. Mommy can take care of herself.
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15. AITJ For Not Wanting My Sister's Baby To Use My Baby's Clothes First?

“I (34f) am currently 6 months pregnant with my first baby, due in August. I live in the same city as my sister (32f), who has an almost-toddler son (Daniel, 1.5m).

Now that I’m pregnant, I’ve started getting baby gifts from friends, and I’ll be having a baby shower soon.

Recently my sister was over at my house helping me sort through the gifts I’ve already received (mostly clothes) and making sure I’m not missing anything on my registry. When we were going through the registry she started adding beach toys, swim gear, and stuff for older kids like a practice potty and one of those red-and-yellow ride-in playschool cars.

I had also noticed she was separating my baby’s clothes into two piles: all the smaller sizes in one pile, and everything 9 months and larger in another pile, right next to her purse, and suddenly I realized what was going on.

I asked her if she was planning on taking those clothes home and she said ‘Of course, Daniel can use them before (my baby) gets them once he’s big enough’ (I’m also having a boy) and also that she was adding things to my registry that she knew Daniel would need soon, which my baby could later use as hand-me-downs.

I felt myself getting angry (my sister is often very entitled and does not consider other people’s feelings) but kept my voice calm as I told her that I was absolutely expecting to receive things from her as hand-me-downs but that I would like gifts specifically given to my baby to go to my baby first. She exploded at me and called me selfish for ‘hoarding’ (that’s the word she used) clothing and equipment that Daniel will need sooner than my baby.

She said that hand-me-downs are an important part of being part of a parent community and I can’t understand that yet because I’m not a parent, and by wanting to keep my baby’s clothes and equipment new until my baby can use them, I’m being selfish and breaking the hand-me-down cycle, and also depriving Daniel of things he needs.

I know that I am definitely not depriving Daniel — because he’s the first grandchild on both sides of the family and both sets of grandparents live hundreds of miles away, they show their affection through gifts and he basically has the wardrobe of a tiny billionaire king.

To the best of my knowledge, my sister and her husband (who both have good jobs and disposable income) have not paid out-of-pocket for anything for Daniel, including all the furniture in his room, his clothes, his toys, even his diapers, and childcare, and they can absolutely afford to buy him anything his sugar-grandparents might overlook.

But I wonder if I might be a jerk because I do not understand how hand-me-down cycles work. My sister is really angry at me about this, way more angry than I thought she might be, and she’s right that I haven’t been a parent before so maybe I’m approaching this all wrong.”

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rbleah 4 months ago
You are not approaching this wrong AT ALL. Golden child sister is the one who IS TOTALLY WRONG. These gifts were meant for YOUR CHILD. NOT HERS. She has NO RIGHT TO TAKE OR DEMAND ANYTHING FROM YOUR CHILD. Especially ones gifted to him that he has not even worn. Hand me downs are NOT MEANT TO BE STOLEN CLOTHES SHE GRACIOUSLY SENDS BACK TO YOU FOR YOUR CHILD. Sis needs a CHECK UP FROM THE NECK UP. She is OUT OF HER TINY MIND.
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14. AITJ For Not Letting My Brother Have The Only Say In Our Inheritance?

“My parents actively broke the subject of inheritance between me and my 2 siblings. They want to discuss it all before it matters so everything can be written down and nobody is mad at the end. And they want to circumvent taxes by gifting us our stuff over the years.

The main topic is their property with 2 houses in them. It will be fully paid off when the time comes so no debt ahead. My sister (though she is only 14 at this point) just wants to be paid out in money and is (as of yet) not interested in the property.

So now it is me and my brother for a big property with 2 houses. He got himself the recently deceased neighboring property of his own.

So here is the main part. I have an interest in the property as does he.

So I thought… would be easy. We split the property and each gets a house and my sister is happy with her money. Done deal. BUT my brother wants to have it a little bit differently. He additionally wants an extra stipulation that he would have an unquestioned veto right when I want to rent out or sell it.

In his own words: ‘I have to live here so I don’t want to live with an annoying neighbor because he was the highest bidder’. So he does not intend to ever leave and does not want a neighbor he hates for the rest of his life… I understood as much but I said that I was not comfortable with him being the sole person in power who basically decides when and if I can sell/rent my property.

In case of a major fight or whatever he could simply out of spite force me to keep it and that’s it. My counterargument was a limited veto… Like 3 times or I present 3 possible candidates for sale/rent and he can decide.

But no he wants the ultimate veto-right.

AITJ for not giving into that matter and demanding free rein to do with what I want with what would be mine in the future?

Edit: I do intend to live there. As a summer home or later with a family.

But I want to keep my options open to do something different down the line. If I want to sell it 20 years later for a new home or whatever then I want to be free to do that even if I might be on bad footing with my brother (who could then deny every attempt at selling just out of spite).”

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Botz 4 months ago
You are nuts. Just say no and that is it. That entitled idiot can pound sand!
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13. AITJ For Complaining About My Noisy Neighbors To Our Landlord?

“My brother (18m), my mother (39f), and I (16m) have lived in the same apartment our whole lives. My mom used to live here when she was a kid, so you can probably tell it’s a pretty run-down apartment. However, I love living there anyway.

My mother works a lot every day but has always made time for me and my brother. Overall, my life has been very peaceful.

My brother has autism and is mostly non-verbal. We live in a relatively close-knit community and everyone in the apartment building knows everyone and is aware and accomodating of him.

Recently, the family next to us moved out, and in their place was a young couple (maybe 24, or 25-ish). From the first night they moved in, they invited a ton of their friends over to their house and partied all night.

The landlady usually would be living in the same apartment building and would probably have heard it, but she is traveling this month.

The loud (it was seriously loud) music and ruckus from them caused my brother to almost shut down because he hated it so much.

(He doesn’t have noise-canceling headphones, we can’t find a pair that is good enough for him. Then again, he never really needed it, because as I said, it was a very peaceful and quiet community.) I managed to calm him down and eventually, he was fine but I went over to the new couple’s place and demanded they turn down the music.

They laughed at me because, honestly who would take an angry scrawny teen seriously? When my mom got home, I told her about them and she said that we should just hope that they learn from their lesson.

This went on at least once every week, and they ignored me each time.

My mom doesn’t want to do anything because she has a lot on her plate and doesn’t want any trouble. We’re in a tight spot financially right now and she doesn’t want anything to happen. However, I couldn’t take seeing my brother like that and the moment my landlady got back, I complained to her incessantly about them and how they were affecting my brother.

In addition, I barely got sleep anymore because they would blast music until like 4 in the morning.

My landlady gave them 2 warnings, which they didn’t heed, and in the end, was forced to kick them out. The couple was furious at me for complaining and cursed at me nonstop on the day they were supposed to leave.

However, I found out later that the couple was also in a bad situation financially and my complaining about them caused them to crash at their friend’s house because they had nowhere else to live.

AITJ? If I am, what should I do to make amends?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ... you didn't cause them to get kicked out THDY did. If they arein a tight financial spot that's probably because they have been bad tenants previously so no landlord will rent to them, you were lokkimgout for your brother and obviously landlady came back had Moreton just you complaining and that's why she kicked them out..OP you aren't a jerk and you don't need to do anything to make amends for them being crappy neighbours at all
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12. AITJ For Moving All Of My Stuff To My Room So My Roommate Can't Access Them?

“My roommate and I are ‘friends’ from high school. After high school, we didn’t talk much but ended up at the same college. We both needed a place to stay off-campus, so we decided to live together in an apartment.

Before we moved in, we had problems, but they were relatively minor. The first real issue was my roommate didn’t bring the furniture that we agreed on prior to move-in. I bought what he didn’t bring myself, with my own money.

Currently, the apartment is 75/25, with most things being mine.

Our initial agreement was that he would cook dinner for the both of us sometimes (3-4 times a week) & I would keep everything clean. However, things quickly turned south since he not only did not follow up on his end of the agreement, only cooking 1-2 times a week but would also almost never clean up after himself.

We had a talk a few months in about it, and he insisted that I tell him whenever he makes a mess because ‘that’s what his mother does’ & he won’t realize it otherwise. I tried my best to do it, but over time, he got increasingly annoyed with me for telling him to clean up after himself, so I stopped.

About a month ago, I was fed up with his lack of initiative & overall messiness and told him that the agreement was off, and he’d have to start doing chores. To help him, I made a chore chart and split it 60/40, with me doing slightly more.

It worked for a week, but then I noticed he’d check off things he never did. I reminded him a couple of times about chores that were supposed to be done. He was not happy, and would more often continue to avoid his chores.

By no means was the apartment dirty, but it was certainly not clean.

A few days ago, I noticed that he had marked down that he had done a deep clean of the kitchen. This was obviously not true, and the kitchen was still dirty.

A few hours later, while I was in class, I texted him, asking him to please clean the kitchen. It had not been properly cleaned in weeks at this point. He proceeded to flip on me, saying he was going through a bout of depression & I needed to stop acting like his mom & have a little faith in him.

We haven’t talked since then, and it doesn’t look like he did any cleaning, including the kitchen deep clean from the previous week. I decided that if he couldn’t keep my things clean, then he shouldn’t be allowed to use them, so I moved almost all of my furniture, cookware, and such into my room.

I also bought my own versions of the few things he did contribute to the apartment (knives, a Brita, and pots + pans). The apartment is almost empty now, and he doesn’t have much.

I just did this a few hours ago now, and I’m starting to feel guilty.

I totally get that he’s depressed and is having trouble keeping up with his responsibilities, but these problems have persisted even when he wasn’t. As someone with depression as well, I really think he’s using it as an excuse to not clean up after himself, and that disgusts me.”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ... i think you need to find somewhere else to live as he wants a maid/mommy ut doesn't want to do anything to help. He told you to tell him like his mommy does so you did and he got annoyed.. you stop yelling him and he does nothing but use depression as an excuse.. however his behaviour is the same now as it qas at the start so I think he's using depression as an excuse for his laziness.
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11. AITJ For Wanting A Car That's As Expensive As My Brother's?

“Basically, when my (17F) older brother (19M) passed his driving test last year, my parents got him an expensive brand new car around $25k.

He drove it for around 4 months before he went to university very far away. Now he dorms there, and public transport is very good there, so he doesn’t need a car anymore, so he didn’t take his car with him as he had no need for it and it’s very busy in the city where he goes to university so it would take him longer to get around in his car.

So my mum drives his car now as it’s more cost-effective for fuel than her own and she uses hers when she needs more space as it’s a 7 seater and my brother’s is a 5 seater.

Now, I’m about to pass my test and the discussion of cars has come up.

My parents want to sell my brother’s car as there is really no need for it and my mum can keep driving her own car. And they want to buy me a new car, so I asked them what their budget was and they said $4000 at the most. I was shocked because my brother‘s car costs over 6x as much as that and I’ll be driving mine for longer and there’s a high possibility I will take it to university with me because I’m going somewhere more local. I said it was unfair and I expected them to match the price of my brother’s car.

Money isn’t an issue as my dad recently bought a $60k vehicle in another country that we’ll only use once a year for holidays. So after talking about it for a while, they kept insisting they didn’t need to spend more than $4000 on a car because look at my brother, he didn’t use his car for long.

But I told them I’ll be driving my car for at least a year before I go to university and I can take it with me. And I offered to pay for the insurance by getting a part-time job and I worked it out, showing them I would be able to pay the insurance even if it was the highest price.

But they still said no and said they didn’t want me to take the car to university anyways because they didn’t want me to use it to ‘roam around’.

Honestly, at that point, I started crying and got really frustrated and yelled at them that they always treated me worse than my brother and no way I was gonna let them buy me a car that wasn’t even worth half the price of his, I told them if they didn’t buy me a car that was at least half as much as my brother’s I don’t want the car at all and I’ll choose a university further away (which they didn’t want in the first place) so I have an excuse not to visit them.

My parents said I was being immature and I can’t dictate how they spend their money and I’m not entitled to even $4000 for a car because other parents make their children pay for everything. I just walked away and stayed in my room and I’ve been ignoring them both ever since.”

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Catherine 4 months ago
No, you are not the jerk. True it is their money and they can spend it as they wish but it is terrible that they show so little value to you. Do move away. Your parents are toxic.
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10. WIBTJ If I Don't Cook The Meat My Partner Took Out Of The Freezer?

“So I’m the person that cooks more between my partner and me. I work 6-2 and she works 10-6 so I get home earlier, and in general, I enjoy cooking more than she does.

When I make something I make enough that we have leftovers for a few days, because it’s kinda a pain to cook every night.

When we grocery shop we’ll get meat on sale or in bulk and freeze it, then take it out when we need it.

My partner has started doing this thing… she’ll just take something out of the freezer and expect it to become a meal. She doesn’t check if we have the other ingredients or anything. She’ll take out chicken, but have no plan for it, ground beef, and just expects me to think of something.

It makes me feel like a short-order cook.

She takes out ground beef and just expects me to make spaghetti. I make spaghetti from scratch and it’s kinda a pain to make when I’m not in the mood and time-consuming plus we were missing half the ingredients.

So I made sloppy joes instead and she said ‘Aw I was really looking forward to spaghetti’. I said we didn’t have everything for it, and she said something like I could have gone to the store or something because ‘it’s not like I had anything better to do after work’.

I talked to her and told her to stop thawing stuff when she doesn’t know what to make with it or check if we have the ingredients. So for a while, she started asking first ‘Hey feel like making this tonight’ or something.

Well, now she’s back to just taking stuff out again. She took out some stew meat yesterday and put it in the fridge. When I asked her about it she said ‘I’ll make something with it tomorrow’. I talked to her today and she said ‘Hey figure out something to make with that stew meat, we took it out of the freezer so it has to be cooked’.

We don’t have the stuff to make stew, and I don’t feel like going to the store. Her excuse is ‘just experiment’ but I like recipes and knowing something won’t be gross, I hate ‘concoctions’ as she calls them, meaning throwing random stuff together and hoping for the best.

She took it out so she should have something to do with it instead of expecting me to all the time.

WIBTJ if I don’t cook something with the meat?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ... but can you afford to waste the meat.. you said you buy in bulk or on sale so you do this to save money. Think you need to sit her down and tell her AGAIN that unless she KNOWS for certain what's he wants you to make AND that you have all the stuff then don't take random meat out the freezer or she can cook before she goes to work.
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9. AITJ For Telling My Dad I Don't Want To Eat With Him Unless He Wears Hearing Aids?

“My (15F) father (64) has hearing problems and recently got hearing aids (a few months ago).

He almost never wears his hearing aids, including at work (he’s a pharmacist so he talks to customers a lot), outside of the house, or in the house.

The other day my dad, me, and my mom (53) sat down together to eat a family dinner. My dad works the night shift so this doesn’t happen too often (a few times a month). My mom and I started having a conversation, but my dad seemed to be tuned out and staring in the distance, not hearing what we were saying.

I then asked him a question directly, he didn’t respond immediately and then loudly asked ‘WHAT?’

I was annoyed at this. I wanted to include him in the conversation, but he either just didn’t bother to listen or changed the topic entirely and went on a monologue.

This wasn’t the first time he’d done this. In fact, he has been this way for years and I hoped his finally getting hearing aids would fix the issue, but he refuses to wear them.

Then I asked him to put on his hearing aids.

He refused, saying now he wasn’t going to out of principle because I was asking him.

I couldn’t help but get annoyed.

Here’s where I might be the jerk: I told him, ‘I don’t want to eat with you unless you can hear me.

Could you PLEASE put on your hearing aids?’ I was visibly annoyed at this point, and he again refused. So I left the dinner table. Didn’t take my half-eaten plate with me, just went to my room and didn’t leave for the rest of the night.

My mom told me I shouldn’t force Dad to put in his hearing aids and that trying to tell him to wear them would only make things worse. I feel like my reaction was uncalled for, but I really want to have a normal family conversation for once.

ALSO – I’ve had a (mild) speech impediment my whole life so it’s already hard for my dad to understand me.

AITJ?”

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anma7 4 months ago
ESH.. dad is set in his ways but knows he can't hear you or understand you.. mom is stuck in the middle so from now on just eat your food ignore your dad u less he actually speaks to you. You can write him a letter and tell him how you feel I guess. I doubt it will work but you never know
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8. AITJ For Telling My Mom That She Had No Right To Yell At My Daughter For Watching TV?

“I (35f) am a single mom living in a house co-owned with my mother (69f) and with my chronically ill, neurodivergent daughter (16f).

My ex passed 4 years ago so I’m the only parent. While my mother is kind enough to help out a bit in a pinch her assistance with the raising of my daughter is minimal, and I pay for our personal expenses myself, and also about 2/3 of our shared household expenses.

My mother and I share most of the communal household chores like cooking/cleaning about 70/30 in her favor as she’s retired and I work full time, but I handle everything related to my daughter from her laundry to doctor’s appointments alone with only occasional help in extenuating circumstances.

Hopefully, this sets the scene.

One night I was coming home from a closing shift when my phone started to blow up. I park, check my phone and I’ve angry texts from both mom and kid. I walk into a war zone, both of them shouting.

Essentially my mother went out with some friends that night and since the house was empty, my daughter decided to borrow the big TV in the living room to watch a movie. She was nearly done when my mother arrived home and hit the roof.

It’s worth noting that my daughter is allowed to do so as long as she doesn’t leave a mess if she has a snack. My mother was solely upset because she was on a Netflix binge and mad that she might have had to wait for the TV.

The TV in question was purchased by my mother and used almost exclusively by her as she’s a big TV fan, which is why we usually leave her to it and give her the run of the communal living room.

If she had asked my daughter she would have known the movie had only about 15 minutes left and that by the time my mom had gotten changed, fed the dog, and gotten settled she’d have had her TV back. Instead, she verbally attacked my daughter to the point of a meltdown (my daughter is autistic) and threatened to intrude on her bedroom so she would ‘see how it feels’ to have someone hog her space.

After I calmed the kiddo down I tore my mom a new one, reminding her that while she bought the TV I pay for all our streaming services plus 2/3 of the cable/internet bill, and that she does not in fact own the entire living room as private space, and that it was gross of her to pick on a literal child just trying to live in her own home and that taking the time to ask a single question could have cleared the whole thing up before a fight started.

Since then the issue keeps coming up every time my daughter asks to borrow the TV when grandma isn’t home and my mom goes out of her way to make sure to remind her to be done and back upstairs before she gets home.

We’ve argued several times about this, and even me pointing out that my mom doesn’t seem to mind coming home to me finishing up the tail end of a movie.

So, AITJ?”

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Squidmom 4 months ago
Why in TF does you daughter have to stay in her room? Sorry but that's abuse. You need to leave.
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7. AITJ For Being Annoyed At My Mom For Not Letting Me Make My Wedding Decisions?

“My fiance and I (25f) are getting married in August this year and my mom has been very involved. My parents have offered to cover the venue and photographer while my fiance and I cover the rest.

Last week we had an appointment for a cake consultation/tasting that my mom wanted to go to with us. I was happy to have her join us and we all went to the appointment. The tasting part went well, then it was time to decide on the design.

I had an idea in mind for what I wanted it to look like, plus they had some designs at the bakery that matched some of the styles I liked. The baker started asking questions and I started answering, but then my mom cut me off and answered the question (my fiance gave me ‘a look’).

I wait until she is done, then let the baker know what I would like. Next question, same thing. I start to answer, but again, my mom cuts me off. I was hoping she would stop, but she kept at it for the next 20 minutes of our appointment.

I ended up mainly sitting there while my fiance was giving me a sorry look.

In the end, my mom got up, said thank you, and went to leave. We got up with her and I asked my fiance to go with her while I stayed behind.

After they left, I turned to the baker to let her know what I wanted. I thanked her and went to the parking lot where my mom and fiance were chatting. As we were driving back, my mom asked what held me up.

I answered and she looked at me puzzled and asked why, we had already answered. So I told her I couldn’t get a word in because she kept interrupting me. She denied doing so, then looked at my fiance and he agreed with me.

She got mad and told me I was a bridezilla and that she didn’t interrupt me. We had an argument and I told her she should pay more attention to what she was doing.

She’s mad at me now and saying she is no longer going to be involved and that I’m just a bridezilla.

She’s barely talked to me and my dad is saying I should apologize to my mom because she’s done so much for me.

AITJ?”

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LilVicky 4 months ago
Nope & don’t let your mom take over. NTJ
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6. AITJ For Thinking That Cleaning My Friend's House Is Not My Responsibility?

“I (40F) recently moved into my friend’s (28F) new house. My friend offered for me to live there without paying her rent because I’m currently having financial issues and because her house is pretty big and she’s single.

I have my own bedroom and bathroom, plus I use the spare room as my office. I do an okay job keeping my rooms relatively clean and my roommate has never complained.

A few nights ago, my roommate came home late and was very stressed (she has a stressful job and works 60 hours a week so she complains a lot).

I asked if I could help her and she asked if I would clean the kitchen sometime this week. This took me by surprise since she typically does this with no problem.

My roommate specifically asked if I could mop, take out the trash, and wipe down the counters.

I told her I would see if I could and just tried to end the conversation.

My problem is this: This is technically her house, and I don’t feel like this is my responsibility. My roommate needs to be responsible for cleaning common areas and her own private spaces while I take care of my rooms. She is the homeowner, so it is her job.

I also don’t like the idea of cleaning her appliances, even if we both use them, because I’m scared of breaking or ruining something.

My roommate also likes things VERY clean and cleaned a certain way – like using a special granite cleaner on the counters and a different one on the appliances.

I am definitely NOT that way and consider this very wasteful and excessive. So I know I won’t clean the way she likes.

My sister agreed that I should not clean common spaces but my mom told me I should help her out by cleaning sometimes because I don’t pay rent and because she works so much.

I still don’t think I am responsible for cleaning my friend’s house. If I knew my friend would want me to be her housekeeper, I would have found a different place to live or stayed with my mom like I did before.

My mom thinks I’m the jerk but my sister thinks my roommate is the jerk.

So who is the jerk?”

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sumsmum 4 months ago
YTA. She lets ou stay for free and you don't even help clean common areas? You either need to pay more than half the bills (since she has more chores than you) or do almost all the cleaning. Unbelievable that you think the homeowner who is letting you live for free is responsible for all cleaning!
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5. AITJ For Reporting My Coworker To My Boss After He Made A Comment About My Dress?

“I (24F) work in a retail shop, but I am in the admin department so not dealing with customers directly. On the admin side, we don’t have a uniform. Normally I wear black jeans with a nice top – never low-cut, always with sleeves, etc. I am very aware that the men on my shop floor have always stared at me and made comments, asked me out, or asked for more explicit things, despite knowing I have a partner and child.

I have also had to deal with insinuations that I got my recent promotion because I MUST be intimate with my boss (34M). When this has happened I have brushed it off, until recently.

In mid-December, it was my birthday and it was a Saturday, so I celebrated a little by dressing a bit up.

It was a dress made of a flowy white sleeveless top attached to a beige pencil skirt (the top was not see-through and the skirt was knee-length). I had stockings on underneath. My coworker is a man who is in general a very negative person to be around, and who has told me once to get lost when I had to go to him with some work.

He is also more than double my age. He made a comment to someone in my department asking why I was dressed like that and asked if I was going to seduce my boss (and added in his disrespectful nickname for my boss).

He knows I have a long-term partner and child, and he knows my boss is married with two beautiful children.

I reported it to my boss that Monday. My boss was mad and said it was almost harassment because it was about the way I was dressed and because the comment was about seduction.

My coworker recently had a hearing about it because it’s not the first time he’s been reported for the way he speaks about people. They called me into the hearing to ask me some questions and indicated that it was not a clear-cut issue as he didn’t make an actual move on me.

I’m not sure what punishment they gave, if any, but he has since not spoken a word to me and before the hearing, he denied that he meant my boss when others asked. The nickname he used for my boss is common knowledge around the store so I was not mistaken.

The people in the hearing made it seem like it was nothing since he didn’t actually touch me, but I did not want to have to let it escalate that far before saying something.

AITJ?”

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Squidmom 4 months ago
No. Tell them he's harassing you and you will contact a lawyer if they don't handle it. They are not taking this seriously.
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4. AITJ For Not Getting My Coworker's Daughter A Bear?

“Wednesday afternoon was my (24F) and my daughter’s (6f) ‘Fun Day’. I don’t work Wednesdays so I take this day to spend time with her and do things she likes. Usually, we go to the mall, bake something, or go see a movie.

I had promised her if she did a good job on her progress report we’d get her a new build-a-bear. She’s aced everything so it was my turn to pay up.

We go to the mall, we immediately go to the food court so she can eat and wash up BEFORE touching the bear.

I see my coworker with his daughter and he asks if they can join us. Our girls are already acquainted and attend the same day camp so I saw no issue with them joining us. We go into a few stores, I get the girls both a balloon from a kiosk and milkshakes.

We walk into build-a-bear and my coworker asks me something like ‘Oh, you guys are going here? Are you sure?’ I didn’t think anything of it at the time and just said ‘Yeah. I promised.’ My daughter builds her bear and I go to pay and my coworker’s daughter is asking me when her turn is.

I told her that she’d have to ask her dad. She did and I guess he said no because she was upset til we left the store. Her dad took her into Claire’s and ended up letting her get a new backpack that looked like a bear and some cute jewelry.

We went our separate ways after and went home.

I got a text from him asking why I didn’t offer to get his daughter a bear and that it was kind of rude to take both kids into a store and only buy one kid something.

He said since I bought the balloons and such I should’ve taken the lead on the bears. He thanked me for everything otherwise but I still feel guilty about the situation and wonder if I really was rude to not offer to get her something.”

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rbleah 4 months ago
Not your child and HE wanted to tag along. You did NOT offer a bear for her and HE is a jerk for EXPECTING YOU TO pay for HIS child. If he could not afford the bear then HE SHOULD NOT HAVE WALKED HIS DAUGHTER INTO THE STORE. He could have gone elsewhere, PERIOD.
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3. AITJ For Telling My Pregnant Sister She Needs To Raise Her Child By Herself?

My sister (21F) and I (27F) are a product of a heavy-drinking father and an addict, mentally unwell mother. When I was young our father lived with us but was rarely home and as I learned later had affairs with other women.

He eventually left when my mom was pregnant with my sister and she was a single mother from then on. She never fought him for child support which I never understood and had a downward spiral with illegal substances. She left me and my sister with our grandma who didn’t want anything to do with us but took us in because we had no one else and I mostly raised my sister.

I got her dressed in the morning, cleaned the house, cooked, and picked her up from school, etc. I actually drove on a learner’s license to get her to and from school as walking was over 30 minutes and worked throughout high school since the budget was always tight.

Our grandma wanted us out when I was 22 so I got an apartment with friends and my sister stayed with me until 19 when she then moved out.

She is really troubled and has a lot of behavior issues. She acted out a lot when she was younger mostly towards me because my grandma would just leave her in the yard to ‘calm down’.

I don’t think it’s her fault because our parents didn’t want us and our grandma tolerated us but didn’t want us around. But I was sick of raising her and was so relieved after she left. I felt like I had no choice but to raise her but I wanted to live my own life.

I probably will never have kids because raising her was all the parenting I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

My significant other and I moved in together last year and it’s been going well. I was finally living a decent life until my sister called to tell me she was pregnant.

I was flipping out because she asked to stay with me and I live in a 2 bedroom apartment, one room of which my SO uses as an office.

I told her if she needed me to drive her to another state I would do it but living with us and helping her raise the baby wasn’t something I was going to do.

She started crying and begging me to help her since she doesn’t know who the father is (she suspects 2 guys) but she wants to keep the child. I told her then she needed to raise the child herself and I wasn’t getting involved. She’s called me multiple times and I feel guilty but I don’t want her to come in and ruin a life I’m actually happy to have.”

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rbleah 4 months ago
NTJ It's not like she didn't know what could happen doing the horizontal tango. And then EXPECTING YOU to raise HER CHILD like you raised her? NO, JUST NO. You were right to tell her to RAISE YOUR OWN CHILD.
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2. AITJ For Not Telling My Husband First About My Pregnancy?

“My husband (37M) and I (38F) have been married for 6 years and have a 3-year-old son.

For the past couple of years, we have been on the fence about trying for a second kid. With everything going on in the world and both of us approaching 40, we just weren’t sure if we had it in us to have another one and we knew that we both wanted to be 100% into it if we did.

But we both grew up with siblings and wanted our son to have that experience as well.

However, my husband got laid off about 4-months ago and that was kind of the final nail in our decision making and we decided that he would get a vasectomy.

With the stress of the holidays after his layoff and the time-consuming job search, he procrastinated on scheduling an appointment. He finally got around to scheduling one about a month ago.

Well, turns out that a couple of weeks ago I noticed I had missed my last period.

With everything else going on I completely spaced it out. I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. It was definitely a surprise and at first, I was overjoyed, but then I remembered that my husband had literally gotten the snip only a couple weeks before.

I made an appointment with my doctor and sure enough, I was about 10 weeks along.

I didn’t know how to tell my husband or how he would take it considering everything else that we had going on, so I told my mom and talked to her about it.

She didn’t give the best advice, so I talked with two of my best friends about it too. They gave better advice and the next day I told my husband. He was happy and supportive and just kept saying that we would make it work and not to worry about anything other than our growing family.

This past weekend we had some friends over, including the friends I talked to about the pregnancy. After we had dinner, my two friends were talking with my husband and I overheard one make a comment about how happy they both were that my husband took the news so well considering everything else we were going through.

He played it off well, but I saw him shoot me a look.

After everyone left he confronted me about it and asked what my friend meant by that. I told him that I talked with them and my mom about how to tell him I was pregnant because I wasn’t sure how he would take it.

He got upset that he wasn’t the first (well, second) person to know this very personal and life-changing bit of information.

I tried to explain that I was worried he wouldn’t be as happy as he is because he literally got his vasectomy two weeks earlier and is still job searching.

He told me that I should know him better than to think he wouldn’t be happy and said he was offended that I would assume otherwise.

I apologized and he seemed to accept it. But I could tell that he wasn’t happy about it and that his feelings were hurt.

I was just so confused and I needed to talk to someone, was it a jerk move?”

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1. AITJ For Telling My Stepdaughter's Mother To Get A Job?

“I have 2 children with my deceased husband.

He also has a daughter with another woman. (She was the result of an affair, born 2 months after my daughter) Our daughters are close in age and nearly 18. My daughter just started college and left home.

When my husband passed I would do what I could to help the other mother as she didn’t have a job.

This was 6 years ago and she still doesn’t work and from what I see she doesn’t even try to take care of herself or her children. Her daughter always messages me asking for money or general things she wants or needs.

She also works and is in her last year of high school. I have sent what I could on many occasions but as of recently haven’t really had any extra funds available. Every time she asks and I have to say no it makes me feel trashy but also annoys me because I am not her mother and she isn’t my responsibility.

The last straw was this: back to school this year the daughter called and asked for money for school clothes and a new hairdo. I hadn’t even bought my younger child’s things yet because this is my daughter’s first year of college and I spent the majority of my funds getting her ready to leave home.

So I asked what her mother was doing so that she couldn’t help her with those things. Her excuse was she is taking care of her younger child who is about 3 so she isn’t working. While I sympathize with her, once again this is not my problem.

She also can get free childcare in her state and many other benefits as well.

I called the mother up and told her she needed to grow up, get a job, and truly try to take care of her kids and herself.

She cursed me out and that was that. When I shared this with a family friend they called me a jerk because the child lost her father and I should do what I can to help. My kids lost their father too and I make it work as a single mother with no help.

AITJ for being honest with the mother?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
NTJ She is NOT your child and does NOT LIVE WITH YOU. Tell her she needs to talk to her mother because YOU DON'T HAVE THE MONEY to give to her. You NEED TO PAY FOR YOUR CHILDREN FIRST AND FORMOST. Even if you have money left over you do NOT OWE HER ANY OF IT. That money should go for things for you/your home. Sad that she can't depend on her mother but YOU ARE NOT HER PERSONAL BANK.
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