People Ask Us To Hear Out Their "Am I The Jerk" Narratives

"I (26 F) recently attended my friend Becca's (28 F) bachelorette party in Paris.​

I had been recently diagnosed with an illness/disability that severely impacts my mobility and has led to considerable weight gain, making it difficult for me to look at myself in the mirror.

I had communicated this to the bride beforehand, explaining that I would participate in photos minimally because of how much I'm struggling with self-image and serve as the designated photographer.

Upon arriving in Paris, the planning did not account for my limitations. When I suggested using Uber or taking the metro for transportation and meeting everyone at each destination, I was met with accusations of being 'boring' by the bride I decided to suck it up and go through the walks, despite enduring two-hour walks and being left behind by the bridal party anyway, It again made me wonder why I was being made to put myself through pain when I would just be left behind and ignored.​

I wish I was kidding when I said taking photos of the bride would last around 5 hours, and whenever any of the bridal party would branch off to do anything other than take photos of the bride, like take phone calls or even run off to get food or drinks for the room.

(I think back to when I went to go get some ice to ice my ankle as well) we'd be labeled as 'boring'.​

The situation escalated when I was coerced into solo photos for Instagram, despite my protests due to body dysmorphia. Feeling uncomfortable and disrespected, I reluctantly complied but waved away at the photos not wanting to look at them, and then getting a bunch of sighs and eye rolling from the bride.

We sat down to eat at a restaurant and we were made to go through photos, while eating dinner, and taking more photos I nodded politely I just wanted to sit, enjoy good food, and talk and again I was happy to take the photos.

The bride got extremely mad at me this time saying 'You know you're getting on my nerves with how much you're disinterested in this, no one cares about your fat butt or your issues, you've been ruining this whole trip for me just because you won't do what I've asked. Get over yourself this trip is about me!'

I could feel myself starting to cry and I got up and said 'You know you're right' and excused myself to the bathroom, paid my part of the bill, left the restaurant, and started purchasing my Eurostar tickets, took an uber back to the hotel and packed my stuff and left for London.​

Realizing I had left, I was bombarded with texts from the bridal party, accusing me of making the bride cry and labeling me as selfish. I'm left wondering if I was wrong to prioritize my well-being and peace of mind by leaving early.

AITJ for leaving the bachelorette party early after being shouted at and humiliated?"

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. I can almost guarantee that the bride didn't cry once, they're just trying to guilt you into apologizing for leaving, but you did the right thing. Kindness and empathy cost nothing, you told her tour limitation and went along with it to make her happy, but only your total compliance would have done that against your own health and sanity.

OP, don't answer those calls, block those people, and start your journey toward healing without that all toxicity. I would go so far as to say that she deliberately insisted on walking and photos aware of your concerns. Don't waste a minute on that woman and her coven." Vegetable-Cod-2340

Another User Comments:

"I’m so sorry that you were treated so badly. You don’t deserve this. NTJ, you did the right thing by leaving, if she wants to cry she can cry, it’s her party. But you don’t have to sit there and take the cruel words and endure the physical pain of walking.

I don't know if it’s part of her personality to be mean to her friends but calling people boring isn’t very kind. Her friends are enabling this behaviour and you don’t have to. She saw you leaving with tears in your eyes and didn’t care, why should you give her empathy she didn’t have for you? You did the best thing for yourself and for her by leaving before things became more tense. Be kind to yourself." Ok_Boat_1243